The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:21look at this i mean i just went outside to get the newspaper i'm talking about 36 and look at
00:27me it's so damn hot california in the middle of winter it's 95 degrees bernie mac why don't you
00:36get in your pool i can't it's being drained but i tell you one thing america bernie mac gonna sit
00:42right here and chill for the rest of the day i don't care i'm just gonna sit here and chill
00:57i don't understand he's supposed to make them kids tired kind of slow them down i guess if the kids
01:03from hell they're used to the heat okay okay i'll keep taking no more
01:13no it doesn't hey hey stop it i want you all to play quietly uncle bernie will you play with
01:20us
01:20sweetheart it's too hot i don't want to play i just want to cool off today we'll cool you off
01:26if you
01:26play with us see i'm giving you a cool breeze george george george a lot of chases hell no i'm
01:32not
01:32going to chase now george stop it stop it i want you all to play quiet quiet
01:41black goes first black goes first
01:51uncle bernie you play with me wrong these kids want to become my job to entertain bim i entertain grown
01:58-ups
01:59you didn't even allow my show
02:03yeah
02:05that little one
02:09spitting all over the kids just need something to do bernie you should schedule something i did schedule
02:16something 10 o'clock leave me alone 11 o'clock leave me alone 12 o'clock make my lunch and
02:22leave me alone
02:24bernie you agreed to take the kids in it really isn't asking too much for you to play with them
02:29for a little while baby i know it's going to be this dog on hot and besides there's three of
02:33them they
02:33can play with each other stop following me hey splash canyon can we go it has the biggest flashlight in
02:41the whole world yes can we go can we go please i think that's a great idea bernie then the
02:50kids
02:50can entertain themselves that is just what you wanted
02:57you think you slick wanda think she's slick
03:01well i'm okay i'll tell you what i'm gonna take the kids splash canyon but they give me any excuse
03:08to
03:08cut the trip short i'm gonna take it and i'm gonna sit here guilt-free in my air-conditioned house
03:13watch any excuse sneeze that's sick when we we're coming back home anything glasses fall
03:22let the big one get smart coming back quickness i thought we were going somewhere psych watch
03:32yeah we're going to splash cannon oh yeah
03:47food gas and logic next exit highway 101 littering minimum fine 300
03:55um benson's discount mattresses live nude girls joy don't you read another dog on sign do you hear
04:03me you read another sign i'm gonna turn this car around these kids need this one
04:12listen what you got the window down for i'm cold it's supposed to be cold the air conditioning on look
04:18here it's hot outside cold inside raise that dog on window up if you don't i'm gonna turn this car
04:23around bernie leave these kids alone you just making excuses i'm making no dog excuses uncle bernie
04:29are we going to see the little mermaid no baby girl the mermaid is not going to be there i
04:34want to see
04:35the little mermaid you want to see a little mermaid i got the videotape of the little mermaid if you
04:39want to see that bit i'll turn the car around don't listen to your uncle bernie you kids want a
04:43sticky
04:44two one for you one for you one for you and one for you
04:57what's wrong i'm sorry i want you got another i only bought three you want me to turn the car
05:04around
05:07stop leave her alone jordan leave her alone jordan god i just got my hair done are you laughing
05:20it cost me a hundred and fifty dollars turn this car around turn this car around you make it happen
05:27give me the candy i'm stuck i'm gonna turn the car around put a blanket on or something i'm going
05:32to
05:32get over running my hair i love it i love it i love it i mean i played it perfectly
05:41and the bonus is i got
05:43to punish the kids indefinitely so it's gonna be just what i wanted the whole time just peace and
05:51quiet in the house i mean i'm gonna sit here and watch my dvd and my cool xc i might
05:58even have a blt
06:00get some sun that day everything's gonna be all right lord why me why me lord
06:23hey baby you got an emergency i know i got sticky chew in my hair but ernesto said he could
06:30work me in it i know you're not gonna leave those kids with me in this heat that's cold you
06:36wanted
06:37to chill chill
06:47i should have known america black woman's hair takes priority over everything we almost didn't do it on
06:53my honeymoon night because she didn't want to mess up our bridal dude head to take her to the beauty
06:58shop first thing in the morning well not first thing in the morning
07:07hey hey where you all going oh popsicle you all on punishment she need to be out your room but
07:14it's
07:14hot okay i'll take it hot take this water flavored popsicle
07:22but nothing it's called punishment not punishment now go on back to your room get hot swallow your spit
07:30go
07:36man i'm so glad to see you man do you know how hard it is to get somebody here on
07:40a day like today
07:40this is a nice neighborhood you uh you rent no i own
07:49that's good
07:54oh man hey man what are we looking at here big job little job what you think it's a very
08:00expensive
08:01wrist watch huh it's not my best watch
08:09look man just do what you gotta do because i gotta get out this heat okay
08:30baby i gotta stay cool and the key is do a little as possible achieve absolute stillness
08:38it's very zen and the secret is balanced like the fans that's one below east other blows west
08:46it's the yin yang of cool
08:54now i must go kick those kids in the yin yang a thousand parts american
08:58yin yin yin
09:18i want you all down on the bed i want you to sit there and think about what you've done
09:27but it's hot heat rises to the top jordan get out on the floor and stay cool i thought you
09:33said
09:33we couldn't get off our beds don't start with me because the more i sweat the more it's gonna hurt
09:39you
09:45oh no now these kids got me all hot i mean i gotta cool down
09:51i gotta think cool thoughts like iceberg with little penguins on it now see that's cool
09:57oh yeah
10:03what the
10:06Come on, sir.
10:22What, though?
10:32Hey, man, you finished?
10:33Not yet?
10:35What took you so long?
10:37It's very hot, my friend.
10:39Yeah, but I'm paying you about an hour.
10:41That's what you're saying.
10:42I'm Russian Mafia.
10:43I'm honest, man. I fight the church here.
10:46Come on, come on. I didn't mean my pocket really green.
10:49It's just so hot, man. It's the heat.
10:51Come on, take a break.
10:56You want lemonade or something?
11:00Iced tea.
11:01Two sugars.
11:04Straw? No.
11:09Okay, do it.
11:13I'm Aquaman!
11:1991 degrees.
11:22What the?
11:25You can't get me. I'm too fast for you.
11:28Got it!
11:30You're not too fast!
11:31No, no, no!
11:32Hey, hey, hey!
11:34Hey, hey, hey!
11:35Y'all don't listen.
11:37I told y'all no fun.
11:38We were finishing your name for you.
11:41Let me tell you something.
11:42I want y'all to clean this mess up,
11:44and I want you to clean it up right now
11:45and get back to your room.
11:46Yeah, it's like a prison in here.
11:48Oh, you're thinking like a prison, huh?
11:50Well, I got news for you.
11:51It ain't.
11:52Because in prison, there's hope.
11:54Clean up!
12:02There ain't gonna be no fun for the whole month.
12:07No video game either.
12:10Baby girl, you can kiss that dog on Bobby down.
12:12Goodbye.
12:13Kiss it!
12:14Because they're going.
12:16That's enough.
12:17Give him here.
12:18Here.
12:19That's right.
12:23Oh, thank you, Lord.
12:25Uncle Bernie, does this mean we're not punished anymore?
12:28This means you can't complain about being hot.
12:30I'll go back.
12:39Ah.
12:50Hey, hey.
12:51Somebody open the door.
12:53Who is it?
12:54You know who it is, Nessa.
12:55Open this doggone door.
12:57But we'll get in trouble.
12:59We're already in trouble.
13:01If we open the door, are we still punished?
13:04More punished.
13:05See?
13:06Okay.
13:12Hey, dog!
13:13Open the doggone door!
13:24Open the door!
13:25Open the door!
13:25Can you believe it?
13:28Lock me out my own house.
13:29My house!
13:30A man home is supposed to be his castle.
13:33You don't lock a king out of his castle.
13:35When I get back in there,
13:37throwin' no keys in the dungeon.
13:41Don't let me get in there!
13:43Oh, don't let me get in there!
13:45Hey, girl!
13:48Open the door. Open the door.
13:50Ma, I'm going to choke you in front of the police, you.
13:53How long can we keep them out there?
13:55Well, we're already in trouble, so we might as well put it off as long as we can.
14:13The patio door!
14:19Ice cream!
14:23Oh, this door. This isn't funny anymore.
14:26You're right. It's hilarious.
14:47It's all over.
14:58Okay, okay. So I'll underestimate them. That's okay. They're underestimating me, too. See, I've been married a long time. I've
15:07been locked out before.
15:08See, you might not believe this, America, but that was the time Bernie Mac wasn't so easy to live with.
15:14But those times taught me a few tricks. I ain't dead. Believe me. I ain't dead. They ain't just cheering.
15:25I ain't think they know something. I'm getting ready to teach them. See when my ankle gets together.
15:33I've been mad all this time. Wanda ain't locked me out. Wake up in the morning, you man right next
15:40to her.
15:42There's a little window over the sink. Wanda like to keep it open until you smell hydrangeas. I'm home free.
15:52Oh! Sorry, but we don't want to let any of the cold air out.
16:00Okay. Might as well raise the stakes now, baby, because Bernie Mac won't give up. I can take anything they
16:07dish out. Anything. It's on now. You ready to pop, pop, pop.
16:14Nessa, come on now. I'm tired. Let me in. Look, I'm Bernie Mac. Boy, take your medicine.
16:23Nessa, get off that phone. Don't breathe unless I tell you to. I'm going to kill one of them kids.
16:30Nessa, get out of my chair. Out of my chair.
16:35This is my chair.
16:37My house.
16:38My world.
16:41Not anymore.
16:44The key.
16:47What?
16:48Don't say that.
16:51I must be having a such trouble.
16:55Look under the mat.
16:59Well, I hope that's what I think it is.
17:02I'm sorry for my sins.
17:07The key.
17:14Delete all files.
17:19What's he up to?
17:21The key.
17:24The spare key!
17:38I got you.
17:39Give me that key.
17:40No!
17:40Brianna, the key!
17:43No!
17:49We have to go back for her.
17:51Face it.
17:52He's got her.
17:55Baby girl, don't be scared.
17:58Uncle Bernie's not mad at you.
18:00Uncle Bernie loves you.
18:01In fact, I want you to join up with me since your brother and sister abandoned you.
18:07What's in the band?
18:08Um, a band is when somebody leaves you behind.
18:13And since they did that, I want you to be on my side now, okay?
18:16Okay.
18:17Okay.
18:19We'll make you a deal.
18:20We'll give you an ice cold pitcher of lemonade with your little fan and you give us Brianna back.
18:27No way.
18:27We don't want to come back.
18:29Matter of fact, I'll give you a better deal.
18:31You let me in my own house.
18:33And I swear I'll take 10 years off your punishment.
18:36No deal.
18:38See?
18:40She abandoned me again.
18:42I told you.
18:43She don't like you.
18:44That's all right.
18:46Baby girl, look.
18:47Look at the door.
18:48Come on.
18:50I'm gonna get my hands on it.
18:52Y'all gonna see it.
19:04Uncle Bernie, can I play?
19:08Oh, it's home.
19:10Oh, it's home.
19:11It's home.
19:13It's home.
19:13It's home.
19:14Vanessa, Vanessa.
19:16Talk quick.
19:17Uncle Bernie's hurt.
19:18He's just making you say that.
19:21Uh-uh.
19:21He fell down.
19:28Yeah, sucker.
19:30Yeah.
19:31That's all right, baby.
19:32That's all right.
19:33Oh, boy.
19:34Oh, yeah, yeah.
19:36Oh, yeah, kid.
19:39How you like that?
19:40How you like that?
19:41Yeah.
19:41Yeah, yeah.
19:43Oh, oh, oh.
19:46Wait, wait, wait, wait.
19:48Wait.
19:48What the hell is going on here?
19:50Bernie, you got my whole front yard soaked.
19:53And my flowers are all trampled.
19:58Don't you dare.
19:59I just got my hair done.
20:01If you even need so much, get one drop.
20:05Ooh.
20:06Now.
20:07Ah!
20:07Oh!
20:08Oh!
20:09Oh!
20:10Oh!
20:10Oh!
20:11Oh!
20:12Oh!
20:12Oh!
20:14Oh!
20:14Oh!
20:15Oh!
20:17Oh!
20:18Oh!
20:19Oh!
20:21Oh!
20:24Oh!
20:33Man, that was a whole lot of fun.
20:36Thanks to the crazy-ass kids, I guess.
20:38I mean, man, they put me through a lot.
20:40But it's good to know you can still have that kind of fun
20:43right here in your own home.
20:44Now, America, don't misunderstand me.
20:47They're still on punishment.
20:48Because when Bernie Mac Tate opened the door,
20:51doggone it, you open up the door.
20:54Hold on one minute.
21:03Oh!
21:05Jordan!
21:06NASA!
21:07Open up the door!
21:10Open up the door!
21:10Open the door!
21:11Man, y'all call somebody.
21:13Open the door!
21:15Wind down!
21:16Baby Carol!
21:18Open the doggone door!
21:20Jordan!
21:21Y'all call somebody for real.
21:24Open the door!
21:25I'm about to pop!
21:26It's on.
21:27Hard to.
21:28It's on.
21:29Open up the door!
21:37You think you got enough lemons, man?
21:39I finish.
21:41Air conditioning is fixed.
21:43That's great.
21:44Yeah, you come to Van.
21:45I give you a bill.
21:48Yeah, we take men's to card, visa, no discovery.
21:51I'll pay cash.
21:57You say you take visa?
21:58I don't know.
21:58No.
22:02My damn liberty.
22:05But...
22:08...
22:09...
22:12You
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