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Taskmaster AU S02E06
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00:01Ahh!
00:04Ahhh!
00:09Ahh!
00:13Ahh!
00:17Ahh!
00:20Ahh!
00:37Hello and welcome to Master Task.
00:40My name is Glom Thiessen and through a science experiment gone wrong, the game show I host
00:46has been body-swapped through the multiverse and I find myself here hosting an eerily similar
00:51show in your feeble-minded world.
00:56Now assuming I have the format correct, we're about to watch some comedians do some ridiculous
01:02things, all for the chance of winning Tom Gleeson's head.
01:09Who are these comedians?
01:11I can only assume it's people sitting over there.
01:13Anne Edmonds.
01:16Jenny Tien, Josh Thomas, Lloyd Langford, and Will Anderson.
01:26Sitting next to me is a man of many talents, he keeps time, he blows whistles, the end.
01:32It's Tom Cashman.
01:37Alright Lesser Tom, prize task time.
01:39This week our contestants have been asked to bring in The Thing You Would Marry If You Could.
01:43Okay.
01:44Anne.
01:45What would you marry if you could?
01:47Well, I said...
01:53We can show who I said up here.
01:56Aww.
01:58Aww.
02:00Aww.
02:01Aww.
02:02Aww.
02:02Yeah, but, uh, haven't been asked, so...
02:04Whatever!
02:05Aww!
02:07Okay, um...
02:08Lloyd, you're next.
02:09Ooh!
02:10Aww!
02:10Aww.
02:11What have you brought in for the prize task?
02:13I actually might need to talk to one of the producers.
02:23I chose, um, I chose Arden Edmunds.
02:36Well, I like the way you both chose this as a funny hypothetical in a game.
02:40When you have been together for a long time and could have done it at any time in the
02:45last however many years.
02:47I got married, it's quite easy.
02:48Channel 10 has to pay for it.
02:54Right, Will, what thing do you want to marry?
02:56Um, it's going to be awkward because mine's also Anne.
03:00This actually is as sincere as that was truly because there is one thing I love above all
03:06other things, so much that I write a joke about it every year in my Comedy Festival show,
03:09so on the day of my shows I can have a piece of it and then talk about it in
03:13the show, claim
03:14that piece of it on my tax.
03:15It is cake.
03:16I love cake.
03:17I would love to marry a cake.
03:21That's me on top of my wedding cake getting married to a cake.
03:26That's the loneliest little statue I've ever seen.
03:30I feel like that's a little window into your home life there, Will.
03:33My no home life.
03:36LAUGHTER
03:38Uh, Josh, what do you love to marry?
03:40I find the thought of getting married quite terrifying and sort of cloying.
03:44I found this quite stressful actually and I didn't like the idea of really marrying anything.
03:49Well, I voted yes for nothing.
03:52LAUGHTER
03:53LAUGHTER
03:55Doesn't even appreciate it.
03:57LAUGHTER
04:00Anyway, so I went with, I went with water, just, I just thought, you're not going to, you're not going
04:07to regret that,
04:08like, because it's, because it's to death do you part and that just seems like a lot actually,
04:13because I don't know what's next for me, but I do know whatever is next for me, I might be
04:17thirsty.
04:19LAUGHTER
04:19Um, OK, Jenny, what did you bring in?
04:22Yeah, well, I thought of, like, marriage as, like, something that's going to be there for you
04:26all the time in your life, no matter what.
04:29So I'm thinking about, like, the lowest points in my life and what was there for me.
04:33And also, I think the best marriages contain a little bit of spice,
04:37so what I've brought in is a Shin Ramen.
04:40LAUGHTER
04:47So we basically have two people wanting to marry each other
04:50and three people who like to consume things.
04:53LAUGHTER
04:54So I'm going to give Josh one point for the water, I feel like I've seen it before.
04:58LAUGHTER
04:59Also, I'm going to give two points to Will for the cake,
05:02because I feel like it wasn't new knowledge for me, I already knew that you like cake.
05:05Jenny's got three for the ramen, and just because I believe in true love,
05:10I'm going to give five points each to Anne and Lloyd.
05:19All right, if I had a little task bell, I would ring it.
05:23But I don't, so I'll just ask any task lesser, Tom.
05:27For this task, I'd like to add my two cents, and then three more.
05:31LAUGHTER
05:44Hello.
05:45Hi, Josh.
05:46Ooh, another potato.
05:47Mr Potato Head.
05:48I had an ex-girlfriend, they used to call me that.
05:51LAUGHTER
05:53Show off one of your senses.
05:55The sense you show off must be one of the five official senses.
05:58Most impressive use of a sense wins.
06:01If you pick the same sense as another contestant...
06:04You will have two points deducted for each contestant who picks it.
06:08Oh, man, OK.
06:10You have 20 minutes.
06:11Your time starts now.
06:13So what are they?
06:15Sight, smell, taste.
06:18There's hearing.
06:19I'm not good at hearing.
06:20You're not good at hearing?
06:21What?
06:21See?
06:22Taste is the obvious one.
06:24You think?
06:24Although, it can make you sick eating a raw potato.
06:34Yeah, OK, so we've got taste, touch, sight, hearing, smell.
06:37We're just looking for the most impressive use with one of those.
06:40Who's up first?
06:41They're common-law partners.
06:42Let's see if they share common sense.
06:44It's Anne and Lloyd.
06:46How about we do hearing?
06:49I'm going to choose seeing.
06:51What have you got?
06:52We've got a banana, a strawberry, an apple, chips, a mandarin, and a blueberry.
06:59And we're doing hearing?
07:00Hearing, yeah.
07:01You could hide him.
07:03OK.
07:04And I could see him, try and find him.
07:06If I'm blindfolded, and you drop each individual item from a height onto the ground, and I'll
07:14tell you which it is.
07:16Ready?
07:21I'm just showcasing my vision for the camera.
07:2711 seconds.
07:29Wow!
07:30If you could drop it like around there somewhere.
07:33So really, really close to your ears?
07:34Well, that's an apple.
07:41Blueberry.
07:43Ready?
07:48There he is.
07:54They're chips, that is.
07:56You really needed to wait that long to guess?
07:58I've got to be 100% sure.
08:02Ready?
08:05Oh.
08:07Oh, no, now it's hard.
08:12That's a banana, 100%.
08:18Oh, you're redoing some of the items, are you?
08:21That's another banana.
08:23Stop messing me around.
08:24Get that strawberry on the floor.
08:25I can take my blindfold off, we can all go home.
08:29He's in there!
08:30I knew you were up to something.
08:31You found him.
08:35Right, actually, I don't know what that was.
08:38I'll say that was a strawberry.
08:40I'm torn between the mandarin and the strawberry.
08:42What's your final guess?
08:43I'll change my mind, the mandarin.
08:45All right, I'll fight, Pop.
08:52So you thought you'd test your vision by looking for something.
08:55Yeah, like I just showcased my seeing.
08:58Okay.
08:59I'm just showing off, wow, you know, like...
09:03Wow, she can see.
09:05You could argue that your test less assessed your sight and more your problem-solving skills,
09:11and Lloyd's less assessed your hearing and more what it would be like to be kidnapped by Colin the Frudera.
09:15LAUGHTER
09:20OK, so, Lloyd, you were pretty good at identifying things from sound.
09:24I am disappointed that I got the mandarin wrong,
09:28because not only could I hear the mandarin, but it touched me.
09:33Did you thought, wow, this small spherical banana has rolled towards me?
09:39Because it rolled towards you, and I'm pretty sure bananas do not roll.
09:44Look, you know, they sometimes say when you have one sense removed,
09:49then the others become stronger.
09:51LAUGHTER
09:52Not in my case.
09:53LAUGHTER
09:55Anne had five attempts at finding Mr Potato Head.
09:59Three of them, she found Mr Potato Head in under 20 seconds.
10:02So I'd put that as a 60% success rate.
10:05Lloyd got four out of six correct.
10:07So I suppose if you wanted to look at it this way,
10:10Anne got 60% of hers correct,
10:12and Lloyd got 66.66 repeater.
10:15APPLAUSE
10:16All right.
10:18Now, watching the visually overwhelming footage of Lloyd on the ground
10:21has hurt my eyes,
10:23so I need to cleanse my sense of sight on these relaxing low-stimulus ads.
10:27See you soon.
10:29APPLAUSE
10:38We're back on Taskmaster.
10:40Tonight, three comedians are trying to win the ultimate prize pack.
10:44Three food items and two unmarried comedians.
10:47Where are we, Lesley Tom?
10:49Our comedians are choosing their strongest sense
10:51and using it to try to impress you.
10:53If two contestants or more choose the same sense,
10:55points will be deducted.
10:57I wonder why that's come to mind.
10:58Ahead of introducing these next two is Jenny and Josh.
11:01No!
11:02My taste buds are pretty dease, I'd say.
11:05I'll go with taste.
11:06We'll do tasting.
11:08You have to come to the kitchen.
11:10That's not where the kitchen is.
11:11So I'm going to do a taste test.
11:13I'm completely blindfolded with all these ingredients here.
11:18How many do I have to do to show it off?
11:20That's up to you.
11:21OK, we'll try and do 100.
11:23100.
11:26Cocoa.
11:29Cumin?
11:30Oh, it's turmeric.
11:31Oh.
11:32OK, let's go again.
11:35Red powder.
11:36OK.
11:38Is that food?
11:40Not sure.
11:40Is it un-popped popcorn?
11:42I don't know.
11:43What is it?
11:44Slams.
11:45I mean, it's a roll and roll.
11:46Things are edible now.
11:48You can't eat those, babe.
11:49Honey.
11:51Curry powder.
11:53Pepitas.
11:56Homemol flour.
11:57It's a jam.
11:58What flavor jam?
11:59I think probably apricot.
12:00Uh, no.
12:07Pineapple and coconut.
12:08OK.
12:14Ali, are you trying to...
12:14You're working?
12:15No, I thought someone was sick.
12:16I was covering up the sound of the opening of the...
12:20Black tea, I-E-T.
12:30Peppermint.
12:33Popcorn.
12:33Correct.
12:34Last one.
12:35Ten seconds.
12:37Lemon and ginger.
12:39How do we think we did?
12:40We don't know.
12:41We don't even know how many we did.
12:42Not 100.
12:43Probably not 100.
12:45Thanks, Josh.
12:50You both chose taste, which means...
12:53They get two points deducted from their scores as given at the end.
12:56Yes.
12:56But I feel like you're actually both very good at tasting.
12:59But I think Jenny was better at making up a tasting test.
13:02No.
13:03No, of course...
13:04Oh!
13:05Well, Jenny's like,
13:06these are the number of things that I'm going to taste
13:08and I have to identify them.
13:09Whereas you're like, I'll do 100.
13:10And then you didn't do 100.
13:12It's a bit messy.
13:13But the point was you're trying to prove how excellent you are, right?
13:16So she's making a small amount of things
13:18and she's picking out of things she already knows what they are.
13:20I'm taking anything from the entire universe
13:23and getting it from nowhere.
13:24So anytime I get a win, that's much more impressive.
13:27Okay, so with my test,
13:29so I picked things that were of the same texture
13:31because you're able to obviously tell it's popcorn in your mouth
13:34because of the texture of it, right?
13:36Yeah.
13:36So there's one variable that you're allowed to change
13:39within a science experiment
13:40and everything else has to stay consistent.
13:42So you were changing two things.
13:44You were changing the thing that you were tasting
13:46and you were also changing the texture
13:48of what you were tasting as well.
13:50Those are two different variables
13:52and therefore it's not a proper experiment.
13:54No, but it's just not...
13:55Yours is easier.
13:57No, it wasn't.
13:58Yours is easier.
14:00Yours was easier.
14:01Everyone here is a no!
14:05So, Josh, you said you were going to do 100.
14:07You didn't get to 100.
14:08How many did you try, do you think?
14:09As many as Tom would get to me.
14:12Okay, which was how many, do you think?
14:13Well, I don't know.
14:15What a fun game.
14:16Okay.
14:18Oh, do you want me to guess?
14:19Oh, sorry.
14:19I would say...
14:20Oh, great.
14:22Yeah, I know.
14:23Imagine a TV show having f***ing jeopardy.
14:26That's thrilling to guess.
14:28It's thrilling.
14:28Please let me guess.
14:29I think that I got...
14:30I think we tried 32.
14:3331.
14:3431.
14:40Oh!
14:40Take a moment to remember that wasn't the task.
14:43LAUGHTER
14:44What stats do you have for their attempts?
14:46Josh got 24 successful guesses out of 31,
14:50putting them at 77.41%.
14:53That's good.
14:54That's very good.
14:55And Jenny, you got 7 correct out of 9,
14:58which is 77.77%.
15:01LAUGHTER
15:05My spidey senses tell me there's one more to go.
15:08That is so awesome that you just referenced Spider-Man just then.
15:13LAUGHTER
15:13For this intro, I will also reference a movie.
15:15Up next, it's Mr. Anderson.
15:18LAUGHTER
15:19I'm going to use the sense of touch.
15:21OK.
15:22I'm going to touch the hand of God, the finger of God.
15:25OK.
15:25That's one of the best fingers to touch.
15:27Right?
15:29How amazing, right?
15:30Where are we?
15:31Well, we're in another place,
15:33and I wanted you to be here for this
15:35because I'm about to use my sense of touch
15:37to literally touch the hand, the finger of God.
15:41Well, in this case, I'm going to say
15:44generic male religious deity.
15:46So here we go.
15:47You just stand there,
15:47and I'm about to do it.
15:49OK.
15:55MUSIC PLAYS
15:56MUSIC PLAYS
16:00APPLAUSE
16:04All right, well, if I'm going to enter
16:06into your fictional sketch world
16:07since you've turned into Mr. Sketch guy on the show...
16:09It's not a sketch.
16:10It's like it was more a drama.
16:11That's what you said last time.
16:13It's not true.
16:14You're trying to get a sketch show up on Channel 10.
16:16Everyone knows it.
16:18And all the sketch is a shit house.
16:20Well, you don't give away your best stuff in your show.
16:22LAUGHTER
16:25APPLAUSE
16:28Well, do you believe in God?
16:29Do I personally...
16:30Remember, you work...
16:32Before you answer, remember,
16:33you do work at the ABC as well,
16:34and if you say yes, you'll get five.
16:38LAUGHTER
16:40No, no, no, no, I believe in all the gods.
16:44LAUGHTER
16:44So you only touched one out of innumerable gods.
16:48LAUGHTER
16:50Well, that's fair.
16:51So how many gods are we going to say there are?
16:53It's got to be more than ten.
16:54Oh, there'd be more than ten.
16:56OK.
16:57LAUGHTER
16:57Well, let's just say more than ten.
16:59That puts Will at less than 10%.
17:00LAUGHTER
17:01All right, well, that makes it quite easy then.
17:03Uh, Will's on one.
17:05Anne's on two.
17:07Lloyd's on three.
17:08Josh's on four.
17:09Jenny wins on five.
17:10OK.
17:12APPLAUSE
17:14So what are the final scores for this round?
17:16Well, that means we take two away from Jenny
17:18and two away from Josh
17:19because they both chose taste.
17:21All right, so what are our episode scores
17:23looking like now, Lil T?
17:25Tied in last place,
17:26we've got Josh and Will on three points,
17:27but in the lead with eight, it's Lloyd.
17:29Oh!
17:30He's done, isn't it?
17:32OK.
17:33Lesser Tom, task us up.
17:36It's time to have a gander
17:37at people trying to find a gander.
17:38MUSIC PLAYS
17:52Hello.
17:53Hi, Josh.
17:54Hi, Lloyd.
17:55Twink.
17:56Hello, Tom.
17:57How are you?
17:58I'm OK.
17:59Good.
17:59I'm glad.
18:00Ducks and numbers.
18:02And different coloured bows.
18:04I have a good feeling about them.
18:07Oh, it's so long.
18:08Win a game of duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, goose.
18:15Interrogate these ducks.
18:16Then correctly accuse the one that is secretly a goose.
18:20Tom, you've lost me already.
18:22Oh.
18:22And there's so much more to go.
18:24There are two gangs of birds.
18:27One gang wears blue, the other wears red.
18:29A yes?
18:30One gang always tells the truth,
18:32the other always lies.
18:33You may ask each bird one yes or no question
18:37and not the same question twice.
18:40You have one official accusation.
18:43The goose successfully accused
18:46after the fewest questions wins.
18:49Your time starts now.
18:50How much time?
18:51As long as it takes.
18:52And under there is duck pocket dictionary.
18:55Duck English, English duck.
18:57You've outdone yourself, Tom.
19:02So it's a logic puzzle, really.
19:05Using limited yes or no questions,
19:07the comedians have to discover the imposter duck.
19:10Pretty straightforward.
19:10I think we should get straight into it.
19:12Let's do it.
19:12Will they duck and leave
19:13or take a successful goose step?
19:15It's Will and Lloyd.
19:15Quack equals yes.
19:18Quack, quack equals no.
19:20Hmm, interesting.
19:21Uh, duck number seven.
19:24Are you wearing a blue bow tie?
19:27Wink, wink.
19:28Duck number five.
19:30Is my name Lloyd Langford?
19:33Wink, wink.
19:35You son of a bitch.
19:36That is no.
19:38Which means...
19:40The blue team of the lion team.
19:42I'm going to say,
19:42duck number six,
19:43my question to you is...
19:45Is the goose on your side
19:47with a red bow tie?
19:49Wink.
19:49Quack and quack is yes,
19:51and they always tell the truth.
19:52The goose is red.
19:54Duck number four,
19:54are you the goose?
19:57Wink, wink.
19:57That's the truth.
19:59It's not number four.
20:00Duck number seven.
20:02Is the goose on a number
20:04that is divisible by four?
20:08Wink, wink.
20:09He said no, so it is.
20:10The goose has to be duck number four
20:13or duck number eight.
20:14Duck number eight.
20:15Is duck number two the goose?
20:17Wink, wink.
20:18Number one.
20:19Is number eight the goose?
20:20Wink, wink.
20:21That's a no,
20:22which I'm going to take as a lie.
20:24Sure, I'll direct this question
20:26to number eight.
20:28Number eight.
20:29Are you the goose?
20:33Wink.
20:34Number eight.
20:34I accused you
20:36of being the goose.
20:37Your accusation is correct.
20:40Yeah.
20:41Thanks, Tom.
20:48So finally,
20:49some male comedians
20:50got to make some accusations.
20:57Felt pretty novel to me.
20:59So you both did pretty well there,
21:00I think.
21:01Felt like I could have gone
21:02a bit quicker.
21:03There was a couple of wasted questions
21:05where I could have narrowed it down
21:07a little bit more.
21:08How did you go, Lloyd?
21:09I absolutely loved it.
21:14What did you love about it, Lloyd?
21:15It was like a puzzle.
21:17There were rules to it
21:19and there was logic
21:20and there were no
21:21silly little surprises.
21:25So, let's not forget
21:26the point of the task.
21:27It's the least number of questions.
21:29That's right.
21:29So how many questions
21:30did they ask?
21:31Will asked eight questions
21:32in total
21:33before successfully
21:33accusing the goose.
21:35Lloyd asked four questions.
21:37Whoa.
21:42Well, my goose is cooked.
21:45That's not an expression.
21:46I've cooked up.
21:47I hold goose backstage
21:48as I do every episode.
21:50You watch some ads.
21:51I'll go carve it up
21:52and we'll see you after this.
22:03Welcome back to Taskmaster,
22:05the show that is taking
22:06the simple childhood game
22:08Duck, Duck, Goose
22:09and turning it into
22:10a logistical nightmare
22:11involving courtroom accusations
22:13and a pocket dictionary.
22:14Tom, care to explain?
22:16Our contestants are trying
22:17to find the secret goose
22:18amongst the ducks.
22:19We've already learnt
22:20that the red team
22:20always tells the truth
22:21and that number eight
22:22on the red team
22:23is secretly the goose.
22:25Okay, who's next?
22:26Like when you threw
22:27those five lamps
22:27at me in the green room earlier,
22:29it's all about to
22:29duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck.
22:31It's Anne and Josh.
22:33Quack, yes.
22:34Quack, quack, no.
22:35I'm gonna make you quack.
22:37This feels more like
22:38just a dumb prop
22:38than it being important.
22:40What's a notebook?
22:41Eight.
22:42Are you something
22:43that starts with G?
22:44Quack.
22:45But I'm not gonna fall for that.
22:48So the first thing
22:49is to deduce
22:50who's lying,
22:51who's telling the truth.
22:52Duck, number seven.
22:53Are you on the blue team?
22:55Quack, quack.
22:56Are you something
22:57that starts with G-O?
22:59Quack.
22:59Now I'm really, um,
23:01confused.
23:02Number five,
23:02am I wearing white shoes?
23:04Quack, quack.
23:05I actually have no idea.
23:07You know when you
23:08go into a parallel universe?
23:10Mm.
23:10That's how I feel.
23:11I'm like,
23:11no.
23:13Number three,
23:14is the sky red?
23:16Quack.
23:16I'm assuming that
23:17the one quack corresponds
23:18to a yes
23:19and the two quacks
23:20corresponds to a no
23:20or the other way around.
23:21Okay.
23:22But along the way,
23:22I forgot what I did,
23:24even though I wrote it down.
23:25Are you number five?
23:27Quack, quack.
23:28What?
23:29I mean,
23:29that was an absolute
23:30waste of time.
23:31Was it?
23:31I'm trying to work out
23:32who's a liar
23:33and who isn't.
23:33How many quacks were there?
23:34But I genuinely can't remember.
23:36I might be having
23:37some sort of episode.
23:40Number ten,
23:41are you not a duck?
23:43Quack, quack.
23:45I think I've
23:45misunderstood something.
23:47I think the blues
23:48are the liars,
23:49but what does that matter?
23:50Like,
23:50what am I doing?
23:51If they're a liar or not,
23:53what do I care?
23:54At number nine,
23:54would you say that
23:56a male version of you
23:57is a gander?
23:59Quack.
24:01Can I make
24:02an accusations now?
24:03At any time,
24:04you can make
24:04an official accusation
24:05if you'd like.
24:05Number ten
24:06is the goose.
24:07Is that your
24:07official accusation?
24:09That's incorrect.
24:12So,
24:13two,
24:13two of red
24:14is a yes
24:15and one is a no.
24:16Okay.
24:17How many do I have left?
24:18One question, though.
24:19It's all writing on this.
24:20Hey, eight,
24:21are you
24:21much bigger
24:22than a duck?
24:24Great.
24:25My official accusation
24:26is that eight
24:26is the goose.
24:28That is a correct
24:29accusation.
24:30Say,
24:30get it!
24:31Yes!
24:32I worked it out!
24:34Ha!
24:36Thanks, Anne.
24:37See you later.
24:38Thank you!
24:41What they're cheering
24:43exactly,
24:43I do not know.
24:45I mean,
24:46so,
24:46Anne,
24:47just to be clear,
24:48you asked the goose
24:50first,
24:51do you start
24:52with the letter G
24:53and it said yes.
24:54Yeah.
24:55I feel like
24:56with this task,
24:57I would need
24:59to take that
25:00information
25:01that is in the task
25:02and go away
25:02for a year.
25:09once I'd asked
25:10someone
25:10and they said
25:11they lied,
25:12I then didn't know
25:13who I'd already asked.
25:14I know I should have
25:15written things down,
25:16I know a lot of things
25:17now, you know,
25:18that I didn't know then.
25:20Because you,
25:20you read the dictionary.
25:22I did, yeah.
25:23So you knew what
25:23they were saying.
25:24One quack was yes
25:25and two quacks were no
25:26or something.
25:27Everybody else
25:27opened the dictionary
25:29where it said
25:29one quack equals yes,
25:30two quacks equals no.
25:31Josh looked in
25:32a different page,
25:33saw nothing,
25:34said oh it's a notebook,
25:35at no point knew
25:36which one was yes
25:37and which one wasn't
25:38and was writing down
25:40questions as true
25:41questions and false
25:42answered questions
25:43and somehow
25:44got the answer anyway.
25:48Yeah.
25:50So I,
25:50I spent the first
25:52half trying to learn
25:53duck.
25:54Yeah.
25:55With a dictionary
25:56in your hand.
25:58Alright,
25:58so how many
25:59questions did they ask?
26:00Well Anne asked
26:01five questions
26:02to get an
26:03unsuccessful accusation.
26:04Josh asked
26:05ten questions
26:06and successfully
26:07accused the goose.
26:08Okay.
26:10Alright,
26:11we've got one more
26:12high octane
26:13legal stoush
26:14to watch.
26:15Will she be out
26:16for a duck
26:16or will she
26:17goose correctly?
26:18It's Jenny Tan.
26:19So obvious questions
26:21to get out of the way
26:22is I could interrogate
26:23them straight up
26:24and ask one of them
26:25are you
26:26the goose?
26:27But that would be
26:27like a one by one
26:28process of elimination.
26:30You know what,
26:31I'll just start.
26:31There is a potential
26:33question I could ask.
26:34There's a potential
26:34questions not actual
26:35questions?
26:35No.
26:36The other way
26:37to eliminate it
26:38is to kind of
26:39try and figure out
26:40which teams
26:41are the truth tellers
26:42and which ones
26:43are the liars.
26:44Oh my god,
26:46this is breaking
26:46my brain.
26:47Do you see
26:47what I'm doing?
26:49No.
26:50I'm really regretting
26:51giving you a pen.
26:52I will eventually
26:53make a guess
26:54by the way.
26:55I'm not gonna
26:55sleep here.
26:57Okay.
26:57Yeah.
27:01Oh.
27:03I don't even
27:04know where to start.
27:06I'm gonna take a
27:07walk around.
27:08Where are you
27:08gonna go?
27:10Around.
27:11I just need to think
27:12about something that's
27:13not ducks for a moment.
27:14Oh.
27:16You know,
27:16because the people
27:17that are obsessed
27:17with wordle
27:18are like really
27:19into it.
27:20So they're usually
27:20like quite good at it,
27:21you know?
27:22Totally.
27:22Yeah.
27:23Perhaps we ask
27:23one of these birds
27:24the question.
27:25Yeah.
27:25How long have I
27:26been doing this?
27:26We've been here
27:27for 42 minutes.
27:29Would you also
27:30like an update
27:30on how many
27:31questions you've
27:31asked?
27:32Yeah.
27:33We're at zero.
27:35Alright,
27:36this is my
27:36official question.
27:39Wait,
27:40what was the sign
27:41for yes or no?
27:43Number 10.
27:44Are you on
27:45the team
27:45with the goose?
27:46Me.
27:47So it's either
27:48lying or it's
27:49telling the truth.
27:51So what have
27:51we learned?
27:51I'm not getting
27:53anywhere closer.
27:56So if I asked
27:57is the goose
27:58next?
27:59No,
27:59I shouldn't say
28:00the goose.
28:00They all lead me
28:01to the same thing.
28:04Let's just
28:05keep entertaining
28:07hypotheticals.
28:12Number one.
28:14Are you on
28:15the team
28:15without the goose?
28:17Me.
28:17Me.
28:18Yes.
28:19So number three.
28:20Is number 10
28:21the goose?
28:22Me.
28:23Is number
28:2510 a duck?
28:27Me.
28:27So then
28:28if number two
28:29was protecting
28:30number 10
28:31and lying to me
28:32and I asked
28:33is number 10
28:34a duck,
28:35then it would
28:36say yes.
28:37I am ready
28:38for my accusation.
28:39You're going to
28:39make an accusation?
28:40What?
28:41You want me to
28:41ask more questions?
28:43Okay,
28:43number 10,
28:44I accuse you
28:45of being
28:46a goose.
28:49Your accusation
28:51is incorrect.
28:51No!
28:57That was so
28:59difficult.
29:13I mean,
29:14I've never
29:15seen someone
29:15work so hard
29:16for such a bad
29:17result.
29:18So how many
29:19pages did you
29:20fill of that
29:20notebook?
29:21Because I was
29:21trying to figure
29:22out the probability
29:23and at no point
29:24did it occur to
29:25me that I
29:27could ask
29:27the ducks
29:28and the goose
29:29questions other
29:30than about
29:32each other.
29:33So then I was
29:34drawing matrices
29:34and I think I
29:35drew six
29:37matrices.
29:38Jenny was
29:39drawing a grid
29:40system with
29:4110 rows
29:42and 10 columns
29:43thinking about
29:44yeah.
29:47Thinking about
29:48the combinations
29:49of what,
29:49which is how
29:50you solve
29:51some problems.
29:52It's weird
29:53because it's
29:53like so much
29:55smarter than
29:56me, but it's
29:57so dumb.
29:58Yes!
29:59Can you
30:00understand how
30:00frustrated I
30:02felt when you
30:02got it?
30:05With absolutely
30:06no logic.
30:09Jenny took a
30:10total of one
30:11hour, 26 minutes
30:12and 49 seconds.
30:14In season one,
30:15Danielle Walker's
30:16attempt at
30:17passwords took
30:17one hour and
30:1854 minutes, but
30:19that is the second
30:20longest I've spent
30:21during a task.
30:26Alright, well,
30:27we've got to put
30:27the scores together
30:28so straight up
30:29Anne and Jenny
30:29are out with zero.
30:30They get zero.
30:31Josh gets three
30:32points because he
30:32took ten questions
30:33to get the correct
30:34accusation.
30:35Will gets four
30:36points because he
30:36asked eight questions
30:37and Lloyd gets
30:38the five points
30:39with only four
30:39questions asked.
30:43Alright, it's
30:44time we take
30:45another break.
30:46Why?
30:46Well, it's
30:46simple economics.
30:48The less time I
30:48spend on your
30:49screens, the more
30:50my hourly rate
30:51goes up.
30:52I host smarter,
30:53not harder.
30:54See you in a tick.
31:05Welcome back to
31:06Taskmaster, where
31:07our contestants are
31:08trying their
31:09darndest to win a
31:10cup of ramen and
31:12Lloyd Langford.
31:12Mmm.
31:14Dinner and dessert.
31:17What's next,
31:18Lester Tom?
31:19They've fumbled
31:19their senses,
31:20they've bumbled
31:21through a trial,
31:22and this next task,
31:23they'll try to stumble
31:23into a chance
31:24occurrence.
31:38It's me.
31:39Hello, mate.
31:40Hi, Will.
31:41Hey, Sugar.
31:42Hi, Josh.
31:43Hey, Tom.
31:44Hi, Jenny.
31:46Ah, what's this
31:47all about?
31:47Wheels.
31:50Wheels.
31:51Whale tail?
31:52I mean, it's a clue
31:53of some kind, I
31:54imagine.
31:55Was there another
31:55word for it?
31:56Like the literal
31:57whale tail, or are
31:57we talking about the
31:58bit of undies that
32:00sometimes stick up
32:01the back of, have
32:02you heard that
32:03described as, like,
32:04you know, if your
32:04G-string's out the
32:05back of your pants?
32:06I rarely wear a
32:07G-string.
32:07But I mean, you
32:08would have maybe
32:09observed this, and
32:10they will often call
32:10that a whale tail.
32:11They call that a
32:11whale tail.
32:12We're of different
32:13generation.
32:14And when I see
32:14something like that,
32:15I look away.
32:17Don't accuse me of
32:18looking more closely at
32:19it, I've got a name
32:20for it, that's how
32:21much you're looking.
32:21Okay, interesting.
32:24Fluke something.
32:26Biggest fluke
32:26wins, you have 30
32:27minutes.
32:28Your time starts
32:29now.
32:30Fluke, in this
32:31context, does not
32:32mean whale tail.
32:33Just a bit of a pun.
32:35Fluke is just like,
32:36you do really well at
32:37something accidentally.
32:38That's right.
32:39Do you have any sharp
32:39knives, because there's
32:40a target over there.
32:42I mean, there's a
32:43target over there, but
32:44that seems obvious.
32:45I feel like a lot of
32:46people are throwing
32:46things at stuff.
32:47Yep.
32:48Boring.
32:53Yeah, so you've got
32:54to get lucky with
32:55something, pretty much.
32:56That's right.
32:56The definition of
32:57fluke is an unlikely
32:58chance occurrence,
32:59especially a surprising
33:00piece of luck.
33:01Well, thinking of the
33:02career trajectories of
33:03the comedians, it's all
33:04down to right place,
33:06right time.
33:06So as professional
33:07flukers, this should be
33:09easy.
33:09Cashman, who's up?
33:10They're lucky in love,
33:11but can they be lucky
33:12when push comes to shove?
33:13It's Anne and Lloyd.
33:15So maybe let's get some
33:16sharp knives.
33:17This feels dangerous.
33:20I go downstairs.
33:22I'll give you a certain
33:23distance where you can
33:24move along and drop
33:25this.
33:25I'm only allowed to
33:26turn around once it's
33:28been dropped.
33:28Does that make sense?
33:29No.
33:29I reckon it does.
33:31Have you thrown a knife
33:32before?
33:32Nope.
33:36You're going to try
33:36again?
33:37No, I'm going to give
33:37up.
33:38No, I'm going to go
33:38home.
33:38OK, I've got small
33:40mandarins.
33:41Drop.
33:43Drop.
33:43Oh, shit.
33:44Drop.
33:51Tell you what, this has
33:52given me a lot more
33:52respect for circus folk.
33:54How much respect did you
33:55have before?
33:56Barely any.
34:02I paid a compliment to the
34:03circus folk and they
34:05delivered.
34:06Do you feel skillful?
34:08I mean, that was clearly a
34:08fluke.
34:09And to prove it was a
34:10fluke, now I'm going to do
34:1117 minutes of missing
34:12again.
34:14Where is he?
34:18You got it?
34:20Yes!
34:23That's no way to celebrate.
34:31I have a newfound respect for
34:33all circus performers,
34:35carnival folk, clowns,
34:37rollercoaster operators.
34:39I think you do a wonderful
34:40job and it's easy to overlook
34:42the difficulties you face
34:44every day.
34:45I didn't hear an apology
34:46in there.
34:47I'm sorry.
34:52OK, Lloyd, so if you do
34:54something over and over
34:54again until you get it
34:56right, is that a fluke or
34:57is that just practice?
34:58It was definitely a fluke.
34:59Tom will attest to that
35:00because I must have done it
35:02a hundred times and it went
35:03in once.
35:04You did it 67 times, so you
35:06did 20 attempts, you got it
35:07on the 20th, and then you
35:08did 47 more to prove it was
35:11more of a fluke so you had
35:12more attempts.
35:13If what you're saying was
35:14true, I would have got
35:16better and actually got
35:18worse.
35:20So what would have you done
35:22if when you kept throwing it
35:24again, you got it in a second
35:25time?
35:26I would have quit the show and
35:27joined the circus.
35:35And I feel like given your results
35:38in all the other tasks to this
35:39point, even you just winning
35:41anything would be a fluke.
35:44Fluke implies to me like fate or
35:46divine intervention.
35:47Oh.
35:48So the fact that Tom and I crossed
35:50at a certain point and he dropped
35:52the mandarin and I was there, to me
35:54is the pure definition of fluke.
35:57That actually, that wasn't a
35:58mandarin, it was a banana.
36:05Anne successfully caught the
36:07mandarin on her fourth attempt.
36:09Right.
36:09Flukish.
36:10Because I also feel like if you're
36:11trying to catch it, you wouldn't
36:13have.
36:14Are you the goose?
36:21Okay, who's next?
36:23Well, I never say no to a lucky
36:24dip.
36:24These two want to avoid a dip in
36:26luck.
36:26It's Josh and Will.
36:28I'd like a beer.
36:29Oh, yeah.
36:29Shall we have a beer while I try
36:30and figure this out?
36:3211th of September.
36:34Oh, no, no.
36:35September 11th.
36:36That's the wrong.
36:36That was a fluke to you?
36:37No, no, no.
36:38I was going to just try and guess
36:39your birthday.
36:40And I'm not sure why September
36:4211th came up.
36:43I'm going to throw the zebra and
36:45the fluke is going to be if
36:46that's entertaining.
36:47Okay.
36:51Was that entertaining?
36:52It was horrific.
36:54Donald.
36:55Your dad's name.
36:56No.
36:57Circumcised.
36:58Me or my dad.
36:59I mean, again, that's just the
37:0150-50.
37:02You can tell me later, though,
37:03because now I am curious.
37:05Do you want to know now?
37:05Yeah, all right.
37:07Oh, okay.
37:08If I throw this and it lands up
37:11right and all the flowers are
37:12still in, then I win.
37:15What happens if you don't do that?
37:17Well, then we have to just keep
37:18walking around in a malaise
37:19trying to figure out how to do a fluke.
37:22In a malaise?
37:22Is that the right word?
37:23Google it.
37:24If you Google it and I've used
37:25the word malaise correctly,
37:26that feels like my entry so far.
37:28A general feeling of discomfort,
37:30illness or unease.
37:31And I got it wrong.
37:32We're getting really towards the end.
37:34I mean, we've only got like
37:35one minute and 28 seconds to go.
37:3724.
37:38Oh!
37:39Do you want to ask me
37:40the definition of another word
37:41that you think I wouldn't get?
37:42Hoi polloi.
37:43Hoi polloi, I know the answer to,
37:45but I also don't know what to tell you.
37:46It's just a lot of like,
37:47that's a lot of hoi polloi,
37:48a lot of like hoity-toity nonsense.
37:49It means the common people generally.
37:51Hubris.
37:52Hubris is when you're like
37:52to believe in yourself too much.
37:54I just did hubris just then
37:55when I told you I knew
37:55what hoi polloi meant.
37:56Okay, yeah.
37:57Overbearing pride.
37:59Thomas Cashman.
38:00Do you have a millename?
38:01Yep.
38:01Yeah, okay.
38:03James.
38:03Thomas James Cashman.
38:05Oh!
38:06All right, okay.
38:08Martinette.
38:08It's a type of curtain.
38:09Someone who demands
38:10exact conformity to rules and forms.
38:12That's you.
38:13You're a bloody martinet.
38:15Convivial.
38:15Convivial is when you're
38:16getting along,
38:17you're trying to get along.
38:18Enjoyable atmosphere
38:19or jovial company.
38:20That was right.
38:21Did you know it?
38:21I think I did know it
38:22if I'm being honest with you.
38:24Okay.
38:24And I feel like, you know,
38:25maybe for this last 28 seconds,
38:28we should...
38:28Ah!
38:31Yes!
38:32Well, I failed,
38:33but I did get a beer.
38:34Yep.
38:35On to the next one.
38:36Thanks, Josh.
38:42All right, so, Will,
38:43you had many attempts at a fluke.
38:45Which one are you going to run with?
38:46I honestly think
38:47the build-up to that last one,
38:49like, by the Lloyd logic
38:51of how many times you get it wrong
38:52proves that it's a fluke
38:54when you actually get it right.
38:55It was my last attempt,
38:56and I got it wrong so many times
38:58up until that point.
38:59I celebrated by clapping my hands together
39:02so hard that the next day
39:03when I went to set,
39:04I had a bruise on my head.
39:08Okay, so, Josh...
39:10Hey, babe.
39:10Hey.
39:10No flukes for you.
39:11It seemed to me you just wandered around
39:13the paddock just saying stuff.
39:15The original fluke I was going with
39:17was if I throw this
39:18and it's entertaining,
39:20then that wins.
39:21and I threw the zebra
39:23and the zebra
39:24is in the opening titles.
39:29So, that's
39:30gotta be a highlight.
39:34It's a pretty good argument.
39:35Yeah.
39:36But at the same time,
39:37it's not a fluke
39:38that something by you
39:39was in the opening credits
39:40because you're in the show.
39:41If,
39:42if Hannah Gatsby
39:43was in the opening credits,
39:44that would be a fluke.
39:45No, no, no.
39:46But that moment
39:47of all the moments
39:48of how many weeks
39:50were we filming out there?
39:51Like, nine and a half
39:52months.
39:55Out there,
39:56walk around the field.
39:57The fact that that moment
39:58made it in the opening titles
40:00without context
40:02has to be
40:03the absolute best result
40:04I could possibly ask for
40:05in this.
40:06Okay.
40:07All right.
40:07Would you look at that?
40:08I just spotted Cashman
40:09giving the secret signal
40:10that he needs to apply
40:12his emergency
40:12fungal cream.
40:14And I spotted it
40:15right at the ad break.
40:17That's right.
40:18Fluke perfect timing.
40:19See you soon.
40:30Welcome back to Taskmaster,
40:32a show built on comedians
40:33fluking their way
40:34through tasks
40:35outside their ability.
40:37Cashman,
40:37what's going on?
40:38We're watching flukes.
40:39Biggest fluke wins.
40:41Okay, that means
40:42there's one more to go.
40:43Yes, will she be lucky last
40:45or just last?
40:46It's Jenny Tien.
40:47Have you ever fluked
40:48something before?
40:49Oh, constantly.
40:51What do you think
40:51I'm bad at?
40:52What do I think
40:53you're bad at?
40:54Yeah.
40:54This is a trap.
40:56Um, successfully
40:56accusing a goose.
41:01I'm pretty bad at that.
41:03Could we set up
41:04the duck duck goose thing again?
41:05Do you want to do that?
41:06Yeah.
41:06Oh my God,
41:08you're going to break me again.
41:09But if you got it right,
41:10imagine.
41:11Imagine.
41:21Welcome back, Jenny.
41:22I'm ready for my redemption.
41:24You've got to fluke it
41:24with one successful accusation.
41:26All right,
41:27here we go.
41:28Number five,
41:29I accuse you
41:31of being a goose.
41:33That's incorrect.
41:34No!
41:38Oh!
41:41Oh!
41:42Thanks, Jenny.
41:59So, no fluke for you.
42:01No, but I tried so hard.
42:04Um, so just to be clear,
42:06you got zero
42:07from the same task
42:08twice in the one episode.
42:11Look, I'm not going to lie,
42:12um, I did try to draw
42:14another matrix.
42:20Come on, we can only take so much pain.
42:23I mean, Jenny,
42:23would you like to make
42:24a successful accusation now?
42:26Wait, what?
42:28Do you remember
42:29which one was the goose?
42:30You just accused the goose.
42:32Oh, honey.
42:34Right.
42:36So, I accused number eight.
42:38Oh, my God.
42:39Okay, I can't wait to do it again.
42:41There you go.
42:46Okay, so I have to hand out
42:47some scores for this.
42:48That's right.
42:48All right, so it's zero,
42:50zero to Josh and Jenny
42:52because they were fluke-less.
42:53Well, unless you buy
42:54Josh's logic about being
42:55in the opening credits.
42:56if this is entertaining,
42:57that's a fluke,
42:58and then you put it
42:58in the opening titles of the show,
43:00that's a crazy fluke.
43:02I understand what you're saying,
43:03but you're presuming
43:04that the opening credits
43:04are entertaining,
43:05and they may not be.
43:07And I can prove
43:08that they're not
43:08because when they're
43:09on Paramount+,
43:13there's a little logo
43:14that says skip credits
43:15and a lot of people press it.
43:17And in fact,
43:18it comes up
43:18when your bit's on.
43:20Skip credits.
43:21Bang.
43:22Gone.
43:23So that's zero to Josh.
43:27Three points to Will
43:28because I feel like
43:29there wasn't much time left,
43:30so there were only so many
43:31seconds you could have guessed.
43:33Four points to Lloyd.
43:34Okay.
43:34I respect that you just
43:35kept throwing that knife
43:36and missing.
43:36That was a very risky endeavour.
43:38If you got it in one more time,
43:39that would have ruined
43:40the whole thing.
43:40But five points goes to Anne
43:42because that was a massive fluke.
43:46Okay, Lisa Tom,
43:47have you got the episode scores?
43:49Well, Jenny and Josh
43:50are both on six points
43:51up the back,
43:52but Lloyd is in the lead
43:53with 17 points for the episode.
43:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:56OK.
43:58When one task closes,
44:00another task opens.
44:02And in this case,
44:03that big screen
44:04is also going to open
44:05because it's time
44:06for the live task.
44:07So go on, everyone.
44:08On stage.
44:13OK, this looks like
44:14a children's party
44:15with no children.
44:16What are we looking at?
44:17Lesser Tom?
44:26Is that part of it?
44:28That was not part of it.
44:29Are you sure?
44:30Will, if you could please
44:31read the task.
44:33I can.
44:33While holding your jars
44:35of hundreds and thousands,
44:36walk through the door,
44:37then put your party hat on,
44:39then pull on your fun pants,
44:42then unwrap your present,
44:44then blow your party blower.
44:46You must keep one jar
44:48of hundreds and thousands
44:49in each hand at all times.
44:52You have 120 seconds.
44:54Most hundreds and thousands
44:55remaining in jars wins.
44:57We're going to look
44:57bloody ridiculous.
45:00Ready, set...
45:16Oh, wait.
45:17It goes this way.
45:30And you want that to help?
45:36I don't...
45:37I can't...
45:43A sacrifice has been made
45:44here by Will.
45:45I can't get the hat on.
45:50One minute remaining.
45:52One minute?
45:52I haven't done nothing.
45:54How do I do it?
46:02Fifty seconds.
46:18Fifty seconds.
46:21Thirty seconds.
46:30Fifty seconds.
46:32Twenty seconds.
46:37Ten seconds.
46:45Five, four, three, two, one.
46:57Very good.
46:59All right, we'll measure up
47:00those hundreds of thousands
47:01after the break.
47:02See you soon.
47:13Welcome back again.
47:15You're about to witness
47:16the exciting conclusion
47:17to Taskmaster.
47:18We've seen our comedians
47:19poop their own parties
47:21by spilling the hundreds
47:22and thousands.
47:23Tom, who will be number one
47:26and who are the zeros?
47:27Well, Jenny has been disqualified
47:29because you did not
47:31complete the course.
47:32The rest of you did
47:33complete the course
47:34and what we're measuring here
47:35is how many hundreds
47:36and thousands
47:36were remaining
47:37in your jars.
47:38Will came fourth
47:39with 292,272
47:43hundreds and thousands
47:44and in third place
47:46with 423,820
47:48hundreds and thousands.
47:49I thought...
47:50I thought it was about that.
47:52I thought that.
47:53Yeah.
47:53I looked at it.
47:54Lloyd, second place
47:55with 524,209
47:58hundreds and thousands.
47:59Josh gets five points
48:01with 557,231
48:04hundreds and thousands.
48:06Right.
48:07Yeah.
48:08Rather exciting,
48:09but let's waste no more time.
48:11What does that do
48:11to the final scores?
48:13Well, Jenny is down
48:14on six points,
48:15a score I would have called
48:16Josh-esque,
48:17but Josh is on 11.
48:19Will is on 12,
48:20Anne on 15,
48:20but with an enormous win,
48:22it's the medium-sized
48:23Welshman Lloyd
48:24on 21 points.
48:28Get on stage, Lloyd,
48:30and Anne,
48:30you better get up there too
48:31because you're a prize.
48:36And Lisa-Tom,
48:37is it not time
48:38to have a look
48:39at the ladder
48:39for the whole season?
48:41Boo.
48:43Well, there's a lot
48:44of numbers up there.
48:44It can be a lot to compute,
48:45but the way I like to look at it,
48:47Jenny has the lowest number,
48:47so she's doing badly,
48:49and Lloyd has the highest number,
48:51so he's the leader.
48:54All right,
48:55expert analysis, Tom.
48:56It's inspired me
48:57to also offer some insight
48:59about what I've learnt.
49:00Lloyd learnt that
49:01if it looks like a Mandarin
49:02and sounds like a banana,
49:04then it's a Mandarin.
49:05And we all learned
49:06that if it looks like a goose
49:08and quacks like a goose,
49:10Anne Edmonds
49:10doesn't give a shit.
49:13Give it up once more
49:15for our winner, Lloyd,
49:16and we'll see you next week.
49:32Let's get into
49:33the good stuff, Tom.
49:37Oh, maybe I'm going to be
49:38a genius at this game.
49:41Oh, no!
49:45I do feel silly.
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