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Taskmaster AU S01E10
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00:12This is the best day of my life.
00:35Yes, welcome friends and foes alike to the season finale of Taskmaster.
00:41I am Tom Gleeson, and you should have figured that out by now.
00:44In this show, I'm not the regular Tom Gleeson, you know from countless other television appearances.
00:49I am a different, better version of me. I am the Taskmaster!
00:55For the last ten weeks, I have put five of Australia's most available comedians through a series of rigorous tasks,
01:02breaking their hearts and souls in the process.
01:05Why would they do it? Well, it's to win this, the most glamorous prize in Australian television history.
01:10My head painted gold, worth approximately 45 million Australian dollars.
01:16It's bloody gorgeous, isn't it?
01:18Let's make them feel welcome. One last time, it's our season one cast.
01:23Dania Walker!
01:25Jimmy Rees!
01:27Julia Morris!
01:28Luke McGregor!
01:30And Nina Ryama!
01:34And of course, where would I be without my special boy?
01:38It's Tom Cashman.
01:41Alright Tom, tell us about our final prize task of the season.
01:45Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in the best thing from the Taskmaster's year of birth.
01:50Which, I hope it's okay if I reveal, is 1974.
01:54The person who brings in the prize that the Taskmaster considers to be the best will take home five points.
01:58And at the end of the episode, whoever wins this episode will take home all five prizes.
02:03Okay. Julia, what did you bring in from the year of my birth?
02:07I did some interweb research and had a little sniff around.
02:10I got a copy of Nixon's letter of resignation.
02:14Oh really? The actual resignation letter?
02:18Well it's not the actual, it's a copy of the actual.
02:21Okay, so you've printed out a PDF that you found on the internet.
02:24Essentially, yes.
02:27But I think we all know when it comes to effort, that's not really my bag.
02:33Intriguing.
02:34Nina, what have you got?
02:35So I brought something that was actually printed in 1974, which is a coin.
02:39It's a 10 cent coin.
02:40Okay.
02:41From 1974.
02:42Amazing!
02:431974.
02:43Oh wow.
02:44I realise now that I cannot win Taskmaster, and earlier I bet Tom Cashman $50 that I would win.
02:51So this is $49.90 in coins, which makes this 10 cent thing the best thing for Tom Cashman to
02:59get all the money from the bet.
03:00Right.
03:02But what if you don't win this episode, and the 10 cents goes to someone else?
03:06How do I get paid?
03:09I don't know.
03:10Find a way.
03:11I don't know if that's how bets work.
03:13You just give the person an opportunity to go find that amount of money from elsewhere.
03:18Okay, I feel like you might have walked past a great result into this result.
03:24Moving on.
03:25Luke, what did you bring in?
03:26A fun fact and a thing.
03:30Oh.
03:30Okay.
03:31In 1974, this was invented.
03:36The Rubik's Cube.
03:39What's your fun fact about it?
03:40Well, that is the fun fact that it was invented in 1974.
03:44Do you want me to tell you a fun fact?
03:46After Mr Rubik made the Rubik's Cube, he couldn't solve it himself.
03:49Oh really?
03:49Yeah.
03:50That was a fun fact, wasn't it?
03:51Yeah, it was.
03:52I just wanted to highlight how unfun your fact was.
03:56Danielle, what did you bring in?
03:57I thought the best thing from the year of the Taskmaster's birth would be you, the Taskmaster.
04:02Oh.
04:02So I brought in something from your vast body of work to sort of represent you.
04:08It's your album with your band, The Fantastic Leslie.
04:12Oh wow.
04:13I also, for the inside cover, because a lot of CDs I had growing up had posters inside, so I
04:18made this one.
04:19Oh.
04:21Oh.
04:23That's lovely, Danielle.
04:25I feel genuinely touched and ripped.
04:29Jimmy, what have you got for me from 1974?
04:33There was a famous fight in 1974, the Rumble in the Jungle, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman.
04:37And I bought in George Foreman!
04:42Grill.
04:44Okay.
04:46You're saying that represents George Foreman and his big fight was from 1974?
04:51Yeah, yeah.
04:52Massive fight.
04:53He lost.
04:54But he did go on to create one of the best grilling utensils in the world.
05:01Are you being paid by George Foreman Grills?
05:04Maybe.
05:05Thanks for that, Jimmy.
05:06I've got to give away some points.
05:08On one point, I'm going to have to say Julia, because she printed out a PDF from the internet.
05:12Aww.
05:13Luke with the Rubik's Cube.
05:15I'm going to give you two points, because your fact was just so unfun.
05:19I played myself.
05:22Jimmy's George Foreman grill.
05:23I prefer using an actual grill, so I'll give you three points.
05:26Nina, for being factually accurate, is getting four points for the 10 cent coin.
05:29But I was just so genuinely touched by Danielle.
05:33Giving me all those beautiful memories of my heyday when I was in a band in inner city Sydney.
05:37So five points to Danielle!
05:39CHEERING
05:42OK, let's give this X some stakes.
05:45How is the overall scoreboard looking thus far?
05:48So the series scoreboard is currently thus.
05:52In fifth place, Luke has 125 points.
05:55Then we've got Nina with 127.
05:57Yep.
05:57Then we have Jimmy with 140.
05:59Danielle with 144.
06:01And Julia is ahead by two points with 146 points.
06:06Ooh!
06:08All right!
06:10Next, we've assigned our contestants a pencil case.
06:28Hello, Thomas.
06:29Hi, Danielle.
06:30Hey, Nina.
06:31Hey, girl.
06:32Little eggplant.
06:34These are the very essence of a night out for me.
06:37A pencil and an eggplant?
06:38Yes, sir.
06:43Stick a pencil in this aubergine.
06:45From the furthest distance.
06:47Furthest distance wins.
06:48You have 15 minutes.
06:50Stick a pencil in this aubergine.
06:51What's that last line?
06:52Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
06:53What is my block with your time starts now?
06:56I think potentially that it benefits you to omit that pile.
06:59Oh no, I'm not that bright, mate.
07:04All they have to do is stick a pencil into an aubergine.
07:07Where I come from, a pencil in an eggplant is also known as an Officeworks kebab.
07:11Who's first, Tom?
07:12It's the bloody boys, Luke and Jimmy.
07:15Stick it in there from the furthest distance.
07:19It doesn't say you get one attempt, so I'm just going to see how easy it goes in.
07:26That's pretty...
07:27I might not get better than that.
07:29If I put this on the end of this anchor, and then drop the anchor on the aubergine from
07:32say the balcony, I don't think anyone's going to be able to beat that.
07:35I'm using gravity, Tom.
07:37I'm going to use gravity.
07:39That's pretty high, right?
07:40That's pretty high.
07:41That's as long as anyone can make a stick.
07:44Damn!
07:44Do you mind?
07:45That's it.
07:46Good one.
07:46So, this is going to sound a little dodgy.
07:49I need you to stand under the aubergine and just see if I'm lined up correctly.
07:53I won't drop it.
07:53Stand under the aubergine.
07:55I just need to see if I'm lined up properly if I hold it like this.
07:58Oh!
08:01Tom.
08:02That hit it.
08:02But it didn't stick in.
08:04Okay, please, please, please work.
08:13Tom, that was your fault.
08:15How's the pencil?
08:16The pencil not broken.
08:17Oh, it's not broken.
08:18It's just retracted.
08:19I wonder if I could use something else to weigh it.
08:22I'm just going in the kitchen for a second.
08:24Okay.
08:25Do you think seafarers from hundreds of years ago would ever have foreseen use of an anchor
08:30like this?
08:32Not a HB.
08:34How long do I have?
08:35Eight minutes.
08:36Eight minutes?
08:37That's alright.
08:37Yeah, I'm cool with that.
08:38Okay, Tom, same deal.
08:39Potentially move a bit to your right.
08:43Damn it!
08:45Oh!
08:47Oh, that felt like it hit it.
08:51There's a pencil-sized hole in the aubergine.
08:53Look at the pencil.
08:54Look at this.
08:54Look at that.
08:56Just get it in the damn aubergine.
08:58Yes!
09:02Here!
09:06Wow.
09:06So, Jimmy, you went up to the balcony to get maximum distance and then left the eggplant
09:11on the plinth.
09:12Yeah, I know.
09:13I know.
09:14I saw it on the ground with Luke.
09:16I was like, you idiot!
09:18Now, Luke, you've gone for a very loose definition of sticking something in.
09:22It didn't stay in.
09:24Now I'm worried that I played myself once again.
09:28I mean, I went in and then went out.
09:32The wording of the task did not specify anything about staying in.
09:35It says, stick a pencil in this aubergine from the furthest distance.
09:38Yeah, so it's stuck in there for a brief moment before being completely destroyed by
09:42the way heavier anchor.
09:44Okay.
09:44And in the end, it was the friends we made along the way.
09:50Okay, how did they do?
09:51So, Jimmy stuck the pencil in from a distance of 4.24 metres.
09:56Luke stuck the pencil in from 4.45 metres away.
10:00So, just 20 centimetres further.
10:04Alright, who's next?
10:05It's Danielle and Julia.
10:07Yay!
10:08I'm just going to test out a couple of ideas.
10:10Let's just see.
10:12I'll just kind of...
10:15No.
10:15Oh, that's inappropriate.
10:17I'm so sorry.
10:18In the workplace, you shouldn't have to be under that sort of pressure.
10:21I'm just going to hollow out this aubergine and make that wider.
10:26Be a target?
10:27No, that's gone right over the pencil.
10:30Are you good with knots?
10:31I know how to tie a bowline and a reef knot and a sheep shank and a cloth hitch,
10:35but I haven't used fishing line and I think this is very hard to tie
10:39because those knots don't freaking stay in place.
10:42Maybe I'll just get a little closer.
10:44No.
10:45I'm going to try this because I just need to get something again.
10:53Get in there.
10:55I think that's stuck a bit.
10:57The furthest distance from where?
11:00Do you know what I mean?
11:07I'm just going to go and check my work.
11:09Yeah, that's...
11:10Yeah, that's stuck.
11:11Was it stuck before you touched it?
11:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:13You haven't stuck it from closer?
11:15No.
11:16So what's happened to you?
11:17You've...
11:18Yes, well, I've just stuck the pencil in and then I chucked it a long way.
11:22So how far would you argue you stuck the pencil into the aubergine from?
11:26Oh, but I reckon I probably would have been about 17 centimetres.
11:30How long's my arm?
11:31I think you could argue it would be impossible to stick the pencil into the aubergine from less far away.
11:36Are you stuck in the fishing wire?
11:37Yeah.
11:43Bye.
11:48So, Julia, what tasks were you completing?
11:51I mean, who would know looking at that?
11:53Do you know what I mean?
11:54Like, it would appear that I do lose interest halfway through tasks and whatever will be, will be.
12:01Danielle, you went to all that trouble with the ladder and then you just poked it in at the end.
12:07I was just checking it was definitely in.
12:09It was already in.
12:10It was in.
12:11And then you pushed it further in.
12:12Yeah, just to really feel the texture.
12:14Oh, so you were just after some sensory rush afterwards just to go, oh, that felt good.
12:19Yeah.
12:20How did they do?
12:21So, Danielle's distance is 2.2 metres and Julia's attempt is so bad it makes you ask existential questions like
12:32how far are you away from something that you are literally holding in your hand?
12:37So, I would argue for zero metres.
12:41OK, well, as much as I'd love to see some more long distance pencils sticking, the pencil pushers at Network
12:4710 have sold a bunch of advertising space.
12:50So, we'll be back with more Taskmaster after this.
13:04Welcome back to the Taskmaster Grand Final, the only show where comedians attack vegetables in an attempt to win a
13:11Rubik's Cube.
13:12Tom Cashman, get us up to speed.
13:14Our contestants are attempting to stick a pencil into an eggplant.
13:17The furthest wins and so far the distance to beat is Luke's at 4.45 metres.
13:23OK, who's next, Tom?
13:25It's Nina Oyama.
13:26Oh, nice hat.
13:28Oh, thank you.
13:29Do you want to ask what it's for?
13:30What's it for?
13:31Flare, babe.
13:32Look it up.
13:33OK.
13:34It says a flare is a type of pyrotechnic that produces a bright light or intense heat without an explosion.
13:40Do you not think this hat does that?
13:43No.
13:45It's poking time.
13:47What?
13:49Do you have the pencil?
13:51I don't have the pencil.
13:52Have you lost the pencil?
13:56Yeah.
13:57Does anybody have a pencil?
14:00Oh, it's here.
14:01It was here the whole time.
14:03I'm pre-holing the aubergine.
14:06It will make it easier to get it in because it'll already have a hole in it.
14:11It's still...
14:12No!
14:16That's pretty good.
14:17That angle, I feel like, will be a good hole angle.
14:19I mean, the angle's great.
14:20Man, I'm all about angles.
14:24Gradients, Pythagoras, you know, the boys.
14:26The boys, gradient and Pythagoras.
14:28You've got two minutes, ten seconds.
14:30Shit.
14:30Okay.
14:34This has got to be in the light.
14:36There we go.
14:36Okay.
14:41Yay!
14:47I have to say, that was really fun to watch.
14:50It was classic Nina.
14:52At first, you lost the pencil.
14:54You broke the eggplant.
14:55You wasted time getting a hat that you didn't need.
14:59But then, you completed the task.
15:02What is going on?
15:04I think it was the hat.
15:06I should have worn it in every task.
15:07Nina's length is 7.62 metres.
15:13Okay, then.
15:15So, Julia receives one point for zero metres.
15:18Danielle gets two.
15:19Jimmy gets three.
15:20Luke gets four.
15:21And the winner of the task is Nina with five points.
15:25And what are the scores so far for the episode?
15:28The winner so far is Nina with nine points.
15:30Ooh!
15:31Okay!
15:33More tasks, thank you, Tom Cashman.
15:35Okay, but I'm sorry because I've only got a little one.
15:38What?
15:53Hello, Tom.
15:55Ooh!
15:56Okay.
15:57So, you've reached out to the shareholders for this envelope.
16:00This is very cute.
16:01You still look normal sized though, but this seems tinier.
16:05I'm just bigger.
16:09Do you know how to use one of these?
16:11I wouldn't have thought it was that complicated.
16:13It's actually...
16:17Make a miniature version of yourself.
16:19Best miniature wins.
16:20You have 25 minutes.
16:22It's your time.
16:23It starts now.
16:24Oh!
16:26Beautiful.
16:27Okay, a miniature version of myself.
16:29I think I've got an idea.
16:30I think I know how to...
16:30I think I've found a loophole in this challenge.
16:32I'm gonna take a hat for luck.
16:33I always feel like I do my best work in a hat.
16:40So, pretty simple stuff here.
16:43Our contestants just have to make a miniature version of themselves and the best miniature wins.
16:47Okay.
16:48Who's first then?
16:48It's an awesome foursome.
16:50It's Nina, Julia, Danielle and Jimmy.
16:52I don't wanna brag, but I've got a feeling I'm gonna be good at this.
16:55I have this theory that if you like, mush jelly things together, they will turn into Play-Doh.
17:02Do you have a lot of these kinds of theories?
17:04Yeah.
17:05What I'm gonna do is actually make a great big masking tape, Lady J.
17:08Okay.
17:09Do you reckon?
17:10Have you made a miniature before?
17:11I've made a miniature of my grandad's German Shepherd, Shep.
17:15It's him riding a lawnmower.
17:18I'm really gonna get the scale right.
17:20Two heads.
17:21Three.
17:22My body's looking good, although I have lost a bit of weight, so let's bring it in there.
17:27I like how now you've developed a technique.
17:28It's called the Oyama Technique.
17:31Why is it called that?
17:32Because it's full of holes, and it doesn't work.
17:35Wait.
17:36As in, like, it's got flaws to the plan rather than, like, physical holes.
17:41It's not what it sounded like.
17:42No, yeah, I, yeah.
17:44Can I borrow you for a second time?
17:46Sure.
17:46So that's one, and then two, and then three.
17:50I think you're three JHs wide.
17:52We're getting somewhere.
17:54Look, one arm is longer than the other.
17:55That is actually factual in my own life.
17:58Okay.
17:58Look at that.
17:59Right.
17:59And that's not just a trick with your shoulders?
18:02No.
18:03Okay.
18:03I should have told you about this task in advance, Tom.
18:05I've got to board all my craft supplies with me.
18:08Oh, that looks horrific.
18:09These are the proportions.
18:10So there's a head here.
18:11How long are your legs and your arms?
18:15Careful.
18:17One.
18:18Gee, the boobs are good.
18:19Shouldn't have made them red, though.
18:20I can barely see them, but it could mean, like, it looks like I'm in the nude.
18:23Six minutes.
18:24Six minutes.
18:24Oh my gosh, Tom.
18:25This is very stressful.
18:27How would we work out how big my eyes are compared to a JH?
18:31One.
18:33Two.
18:33Less than two minutes.
18:35Oh, shit.
18:36We're going straight into building, I think.
18:37Oh my gosh, Tom.
18:38It's a battle against the clock.
18:39Now I'm panicking a little bit, because I don't know if I have enough time for this.
18:45Do you want it?
18:47Perfect.
18:47This doesn't look as luxurious as I imagined.
18:50That is really not working out as I hoped.
18:55It looks like Piglet.
18:57This is like if Piglet was in, like, Blade Runner.
19:01That would have changed the movie Blade Runner quite substantially.
19:05God, the presh, babe, the presh.
19:07Oh, it looks like I'm in a bathing suit.
19:09It's not in proportion to the trolley.
19:12Okay.
19:12I'm saying I'm done.
19:16Thanks, Julie.
19:16Thanks, babes.
19:17It's doing this.
19:23Okay.
19:23Well, let's have a look at the finished products.
19:25There's all your fine work.
19:26Now, Jimmy, you're very preoccupied with proportion.
19:30Yeah.
19:30Can you talk us through the thinking process?
19:32You kept talking about a JH.
19:33That's a Jimmy's head.
19:34Okay.
19:35And it's completely in proportion.
19:38Okay.
19:39Don't ask me what a JC is.
19:41Oh, fuck.
19:43Nina, I'm not sure it looks much like you, but it does look like a tasty snack.
19:47And so do I.
19:50Yeah, it was all made out of lollies and when I was cutting it, they gave me gloves because
19:54they didn't trust me with the knife.
19:58Danielle, craft, as we know, is your specialty.
20:00You must have been very happy about this challenge.
20:02It didn't feel like my specialty in this challenge.
20:04I really thought when I put that hair on it was just going to fall luxuriously into a wig.
20:10But it just looks quite creepy.
20:14And why were you on a tractor?
20:15What was the thinking there?
20:17Oh, because I did a miniature of my grandad's dog, Shep, riding a lawnmower.
20:20I saw the tractor and was like, oh, a homage to my own.
20:25So you did an homage to your own artwork that nobody's seen or heard of?
20:30No.
20:32Julia.
20:33How good is it?
20:34How good is it?
20:35It's amazing.
20:36Isn't it?
20:37I'll be honest with you.
20:38If I was cleaning up after a kid's birthday and that was on the floor, I don't think I
20:42would identify that it was something that someone had done on purpose.
20:47Alright, speaking of miniatures, advertisements are like miniature TV shows.
20:51So let's watch them now for a few minutes.
20:53We'll see you soon with more Taskmaster.
21:05Welcome back to Taskmaster.
21:07It's the grand finale, the night that winners and losers will be decided once and for all,
21:12etched into stone to be remembered for all of history.
21:16And how are we going about it, Tom?
21:17We're watching comedians do arts and crafts.
21:20Just like always.
21:22Only this time they're trying to make mini versions of themselves.
21:25Anyone left?
21:26Sure is.
21:27It's Luke McGregor.
21:30Take a photo of me with the iPad.
21:32Okay.
21:36Okay.
21:36So, okay, screenshot now.
21:40Oh, you did it.
21:41Miniature me.
21:43You can't get something smaller than that.
21:46Are you happy with that?
21:47Less so now.
21:50Okay.
21:51Take another screenshot.
21:53Okay.
21:54Look how small it is.
21:56Try getting smaller than that.
21:57That's you.
21:58That's me.
21:59There's me there.
22:00That's me.
22:01So.
22:02Okay.
22:03Yeah.
22:03No one's going to do smaller than that.
22:07I'll have to see him try.
22:08Especially if I do this.
22:10So we go.
22:11So there we go.
22:12So that's, I'm very happy with that.
22:13So that's, that's you.
22:14That's me there.
22:15Yeah, you can see.
22:16Yeah, it's obvious.
22:17And you don't think anyone can do any, any smaller than that?
22:19Okay.
22:20I guess we only, how much time we got left?
22:2114 minutes and 56 seconds.
22:23Let's treat ourselves to one more.
22:24Okay.
22:25Yep.
22:25Put it down.
22:28Okay.
22:29So that's, that's the blue.
22:31So the yellows are in the blue?
22:33The yellows are cool.
22:34We might have gone too small.
22:35Lost you.
22:36That's too close to the sun there.
22:37We'll have to go back one.
22:38So is that your entry or?
22:39That, that, that can't be.
22:40It's too small.
22:40But this one, this is still small but you can still, you can still read it.
22:43So there's the blue.
22:44So that's the blue.
22:45There's the blue.
22:45And you're in the blue.
22:46I'm in the blue, so.
22:47We know that.
22:48Yeah, yeah.
22:48So that's, that's, that's the officially smallest we can go.
22:50Do you think anyone will get smaller?
22:52No.
22:52They can't.
22:53We've already proved it.
22:54That was the smallest you can get.
22:57Okay.
22:59Luke, that was some great lateral thinking.
23:01You were very small.
23:03So that's a great job.
23:04What was the task again?
23:05Best miniature wins.
23:07Best miniature wins.
23:09May have played myself a third time.
23:12It would be good to compare it if we're going to try to find the best one.
23:16So can we just get all the miniatures back up, Luke?
23:23Well, I do like what Luke was coming up with, but I'm going to have to give him one point.
23:27Two points to Julia, because like I said, it looks like a random assembly of things that
23:31you'd find on the floor and throw in the bin.
23:33Jimmy's for three points.
23:34Nina's looks like a real tasty snack, so I'm giving her four points.
23:37But just because of the memories of Danielle's weird Queensland upbringing, I'm giving her
23:43five points for her frightened tiny miniature.
23:48All right, Tom, you got something different for me?
23:51No.
23:51I've got something extremely similar.
23:53Here's our final team task for the season.
24:06Hello.
24:08Hello.
24:09Hello.
24:11After you.
24:12After you.
24:12After you.
24:12Why are you so perfect?
24:14Oh.
24:15Who's this?
24:16Guess.
24:17Uh, blue, red pants.
24:19You, you?
24:20Is this you as Jimmy Giggles?
24:21Is that Jimmy Giggles?
24:21Is that you?
24:22Yeah, that's my one.
24:23How good do you look?
24:24Yours is also.
24:25I love the lopsided tits.
24:27That is the very representation.
24:28That is me.
24:29That is me.
24:29That's you.
24:29You made that of you?
24:30I did make that of me.
24:31All right.
24:32I'm in.
24:33Babes, here we go.
24:34Film the most phenomenal fight scene starring your miniatures.
24:40You have 60 minutes.
24:41Your time starts now.
24:42Where's the mini version of you?
24:45Oh.
24:47Oh.
24:47Yeah.
24:48Deranged, Luke.
24:50That's all.
24:51Should we make like a city and you can come in and destroy it or something?
24:55Yes.
24:55I think we do it flatly.
24:57You're a genius.
24:58What do we think about these?
24:59Like we make some buildings?
25:00Oh.
25:00I couldn't dig that more.
25:02Well, well, well.
25:04If it isn't blah, blah, blah, they're here, bring it on.
25:06And they walk towards each other.
25:07That's the first shot.
25:08How's that?
25:09Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
25:10What are they fighting about, you know?
25:12Maybe you didn't like Jimmy's latest TikTok?
25:16So do you want to be like a...
25:18Like a...
25:19I can't...
25:19Yeah, I feel Godzilla vibes.
25:21Yeah.
25:21It does join.
25:22Yes, look at that.
25:23What a way to save money on artists, just to cut your art in half.
25:26Yeah.
25:26I don't even know where I went to.
25:28Oh, you're on the back table.
25:29I don't want to say anything, but it was very easy to confuse your figurine with the junk that was
25:34on the table.
25:37Listen, you don't want this fight to be real.
25:39I know.
25:41Wow.
25:42Okay.
25:43Well.
25:44A fight scene.
25:46A chance for Luke McGregor to redeem himself, perhaps, for his shithouse one last week.
25:51Would you like to see a fight scene?
25:53Oh, yes.
25:54I'm bang for blood.
25:55Here's Danielle versus Julia.
26:10Oh, yes.
26:12You suck, dude.
26:14Get over here.
26:16Take that.
26:17Take that.
26:20Ow!
26:21Oh, no.
26:22I'm got you.
26:23I'm got you.
26:24I'm got you.
26:26I'm got you.
26:28I'll pop your teeth.
26:31I'll pop your teeth.
26:34Just...
26:34Just really, just...
26:36Just, oh, they're good, they're strong.
26:40Take that, tip.
26:42Light up the TMT with my gun.
26:45Don't you take the last of my hair.
26:46Five, four, three, two, one.
26:53Drop the gun.
26:59Anything else?
27:00Miniatures, oh, yes.
27:06Ha, ha, boom!
27:12We did it!
27:13We did it!
27:14Ah, yes.
27:16It was great to see you do the dance one last time.
27:19Yes.
27:20Zero points.
27:22I must admit, when I saw all that stuff there on the table,
27:24I thought this is going to be a disaster,
27:26but that actually turned out quite well.
27:27We were very good, absolutely.
27:29Yeah, yeah.
27:30What did you say right in the middle of the film?
27:32I've got to pop your tit.
27:34Yeah.
27:35I think it's a hard tit to pop.
27:38It is a hard tit to pop.
27:42Bring on the other fight, Tom Cashman.
27:44All right.
27:44Here's a lolly woman versus a pile of hair
27:47versus a few pixels on an iPad.
27:49It's Nina, Jimmy and Luke.
27:54You found me.
27:55You flushed my goatfish down the toilet.
27:58It deserved it.
27:59Prepare to die.
28:02Get ready.
28:05Three, two, one, fight.
28:10Ah, joking.
28:14Ow.
28:16Yeah.
28:18Ah.
28:22Ah, I've met my match.
28:26Die, Jimmy.
28:28Die.
28:31Well, well, well.
28:32Who are you?
28:33You're too small.
28:34Can you zoom in?
28:35You got it.
28:36Well done, Nina.
28:37I'm the final boss.
28:40You'll never defeat me.
28:43Yay, I won.
28:47Victorious.
28:48All right, guys.
28:49Very good.
28:49Well done, Tim.
28:50Well done, Tim.
28:56I never thought I'd say this in this series,
28:58but the Bad Improv Group was entertaining.
29:03Oh, my God.
29:04That was actually impressive.
29:07And very creative.
29:08How did we arrive at getting you in there?
29:10We wrote a script.
29:12What?
29:12That had a script?
29:13Yeah, we had a script.
29:15I didn't need to say it was that good.
29:18I should give some scores.
29:20Okay, well, it's pretty easy.
29:21They were both very impressive,
29:22but I feel like the Bad Improv Group...
29:24Oh, sorry, we didn't have a...
29:25We had a storyboard.
29:26I wrote a storyboard.
29:27Yes!
29:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:28I think he was going to give us some points to win.
29:31Just shut up.
29:32Yeah.
29:33It was all improvised,
29:34and there was no storyboard or no script.
29:35Stop improvising!
29:39Oh, God.
29:41The Bad Improv Group are hell-bent on self-destruction.
29:45They were both very impressive,
29:47but I think that the Bad Improv Group was just slightly ahead,
29:50so I'm going to give you 555, Danielle and Julia, 44.
29:53Oh, lovely, lovely.
29:56Lovely.
29:58Okay, not long to go now before our champion is crowned.
30:01Don't move a muscle.
30:03More Taskmaster coming your way.
30:15Welcome back to Taskmaster.
30:17We are so close to awarding our first-ever Taskmaster Australia champion.
30:22Tom Cashman, what's next?
30:23It's our last proper task of the season.
30:25I thought we'd wrap things up with a Taskmaster Christmas party.
30:29Oh!
30:47Oh, hello.
30:49Merry Christmas.
30:49Merry Christmas.
30:51Thank you, baby boy.
30:52I just saw my name written all over that paper.
30:55I thought, how lovely.
30:56Oh.
30:56It's Tom the Christmas elf.
30:58You've done something with your ears.
31:02Let's open this bad boy up.
31:03Okay.
31:05Open the golden present.
31:08Well, it's hard to tell because they're all wrapped up.
31:10You may only open one present at a time.
31:12Before opening each present, you must sing a different royalty...
31:16You must sing a different royalty-free Christmas carol.
31:20You may not leave the lab until the golden present is opened.
31:24Fastest to open the golden present wins.
31:27Your time starts.
31:31Okay.
31:31Open the golden present.
31:32So I can't see what the golden present is yet.
31:34Oh, my gosh.
31:36It's like a weird thing for me, isn't it?
31:38Your time starts now.
31:40Joy to the world.
31:42Joy to the world.
31:44What are Christmas carols?
31:46Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...
31:50Just to be safe, I'm going to make up my own Christmas carols.
31:52Okay.
31:52Oh, it's Christmastime in the December month of the year.
32:01That'll do.
32:06Woohoo! I love surprises!
32:09That is not the golden present!
32:13Jimmy is 100% correct. That wasn't the golden present. That was a bowl of soup.
32:17Yes, and before opening a present, they have to sing a song, correct?
32:20That's right, a royalty-free song. So the ones about God are in, the ones by Mariah Carey are out.
32:26Okay, who's first then?
32:28They've all been very good this year, as in to say they still could win Taskmaster.
32:33It's Julia, Jimmy and Danielle.
32:37Take the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
32:41We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas.
32:45Dashing through the snow, I don't want us up and slay.
32:47All the fields go, lapping all the way, ha-ha-ha.
32:50No! This one's got a lock on it.
32:52There's a combination lock.
32:55Oh, there's sand.
32:58What could you use that for?
32:59I'm not going to strain this shit through it, am I?
33:03Saw some letters in it.
33:06Letters, babes.
33:07What letters?
33:08A.
33:09N.
33:10S.
33:11Satan.
33:13The devil.
33:15This might be S-A-T-A-N.
33:17What do you vibe on this?
33:18S-A-T-A-N.
33:19What do you think the code is?
33:21Santa.
33:25It's not Satan, is it?
33:27Santa.
33:28What's the Da Vinci code literally last night, so...
33:31Uh-oh.
33:32It's just hay in a manger?
33:33Hey, hey.
33:34Hey!
33:37Okay.
33:38Holy moly, what's that now?
33:40What's in there?
33:40Jelly.
33:41Is that golden?
33:43I think it's silver present.
33:45That's an iPhone.
33:47There's even a SIM card there, babes.
33:48Oh, so now I'm looking for a thing to poke in the thing.
33:51So what are you looking for?
33:52You know, in the hole in the side of this so I can open that up.
33:54Oh, like a little needle.
33:55Yeah, the little needly thing.
33:57Oh, I'm looking for a needle in the frickin' haystack.
33:59Look, I'm not good in piecing mysteries together,
34:02so if everybody wants to start filling in their overtime sheets...
34:07Oh, God.
34:09Such a pun of shade.
34:12Is there something else I'm not seeing?
34:14Found one.
34:15Ha-ha.
34:16Ah-ah-ah.
34:17Oh-oh.
34:18Ah-ah-ah.
34:19Ah!
34:20Alright, got it.
34:22Call this number.
34:23Okay.
34:25Welcome to Santa's Workshop.
34:27Santa's not available right now.
34:29If you're calling about a golden present,
34:31simply tell Santa's number one elf, a.k.a. me,
34:34three ways that you've been good this year.
34:37Good luck.
34:37Um, I let my sister stay with me for a week.
34:41I have kept my cool when talking to stupid people.
34:46What if the stupid people are trying their hardest?
34:48They are trying their hardest,
34:49but they're so f***ing stupid, Tom.
34:51I celebrated all of my children's birthdays
34:55and they were elated.
34:57Bit bare minimum, but okay.
34:58I'll give you the golden present.
35:01There's the golden present.
35:03Oh, for God's sake.
35:09Silent night, holy night.
35:11Tom, it wasn't in your hat the whole time.
35:14I knew I should have punched you.
35:16Sleep in heavenly peace.
35:23Sleep in heavenly peace.
35:30Sleep in heavenly peace.
35:31Thought you'd need it.
35:33Oh, this is a stress ball.
35:36But I'm not stressed, Tom.
35:44Sorry, Tom.
35:46Seemed like a pretty easy task.
35:48It was very straightforward.
35:49All you had to do was use the sieve to find the letters S-A-N-T-A in the
35:53soup,
35:53which was the code to the box with the haystack inside.
35:56Then the only thing on top of that was to finish the jigsaw puzzle,
35:59which would lead you to the magnet under the table,
36:00which helped you find the needle in the haystack
36:02to open the SIM card slot in the phone.
36:04That was in the jelly.
36:05And then you called the number
36:06and told me how you'd been good this year.
36:09So were you tempted to punch Tom at the top?
36:11I mean, who knows what I was tempted to do at that point.
36:14I think I'd been in there for about 15 hours doing that.
36:17I feel like you like these little riddles, Danielle.
36:20How do you think you went?
36:20I really struggled with this a lot because I actually realised
36:25I didn't know Christmas carols.
36:29So how did they do?
36:31Danielle took 18 minutes and 41 seconds.
36:34Jimmy took 23 minutes and 53 seconds.
36:37Julia took 51 minutes and 45 seconds.
36:41Well, we wish you a merry break, one and all.
36:44See you soon for our thrilling conclusion.
36:56Look, I know you're watching it now,
36:57but how about watching more later?
36:58Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation
37:01of Taskmaster Australia with full episodes
37:03at 10play.com.au or the 10play app.
37:11Welcome back to Taskmaster.
37:13We are so close to knowing who will walk away with my golden head,
37:18the respect of a nation and no money.
37:20But first, we must finish our final task
37:23from the top secret Taskmaster retreat.
37:26Tom Cashman, what's the deal?
37:28Our contestants are trying to find the golden present
37:30by solving a small number of riddles.
37:33So far, Danielle is the one to beat.
37:35Who's left?
37:35It's beginning to look a lot like Luke and Nina.
37:38It's Luke and Nina.
37:40Randall Rudolph.
37:43Cousin reindeer had a very average nose.
37:46Oh, what fun it is so righty.
37:48The one who's so fancy.
37:50Hey, okay.
37:51Oh, yuck.
37:52I've seen worse.
37:53Have I?
37:54I think that's an ice pack.
37:55I think I got my hands covered in jelly for nothing.
38:01Oh, okay.
38:04So what I think I have to do is do the puzzle,
38:07but what I want to do is smash the box.
38:09This is the difference between me and the animals.
38:11I'm going to do the puzzle.
38:15I don't give up, and I'm not going to give up.
38:18I'm going to do the puzzle for like five more minutes,
38:20and if I can't get anywhere, then I'm going to go and smash the box.
38:26There's nothing in the box.
38:28Oh, this is a clue.
38:29What do you want for Christmas this year, Tom?
38:30Usually a few good shirts.
38:32It's pretty boring.
38:34Right.
38:35Look under.
38:36Oh, my God.
38:38Oh, under the table, maybe?
38:41What is it?
38:42Oh, here.
38:42A magnet.
38:43There's a magnet.
38:44Oh.
38:46Okay.
38:47All right.
38:47Okay.
38:48So this way...
38:50Where's that guy pointing?
38:52Hello.
38:53It's just a bunch of straws.
38:55Oh, it's a haystack.
38:56It's a haystack.
38:57Oh, a needle.
38:58I'm looking for a needle.
39:02Okay, it wasn't look under the tree.
39:04That was me pre-empting.
39:07Even if I find a needle, what does the needle do?
39:10Look under the...
39:13Look under the box.
39:15Is it under you?
39:16Is that a wee...
39:17Is it like on your shoe or something?
39:19Oh, my God.
39:20Oh, my God.
39:20Is there anything under your hat?
39:23Can you lift your hat up?
39:24Because this is my others.
39:25I'll be lifting up with these hands.
39:26May I take off your hat?
39:28I'd rather you didn't.
39:30Well, I'm...
39:31...gonna do it.
39:45I didn't have to sing the song, right?
39:47Oh, okay.
39:48Wait, hold on.
39:53Merry Christmas, Tom.
39:55Merry Christmas, everyone.
39:57And have a good year.
40:01Friends time.
40:03Oh.
40:05Do you think there was anything more to any of this?
40:07No.
40:09No.
40:20Did you both find the golden present without solving anything?
40:24Yeah, I think that either makes us really dumb or really smart.
40:28I thought the ice pack was to keep the jelly cold so it stayed solid.
40:33And I think that was one of many errors.
40:37So you just thought the whole thing was like all these red herrings.
40:41Yeah.
40:41And you just get the present from underneath.
40:43Yep.
40:45Now, you're supposed to sing Christmas carols, aren't you,
40:48before you open each present?
40:49Hmm.
40:49Yeah, so right at the end there, I feel like Nina did that.
40:52Yeah.
40:52Yeah.
40:52And I don't think Luke did that.
40:54No.
40:54I can sing one now to make up for it.
40:56I can, I can, I can...
41:00You're going to do it now, are you?
41:01Okay.
41:02Call my bluff.
41:05Once a year.
41:09Special day comes round.
41:11It's Christmas.
41:14Jesus was born.
41:16Jesus was born.
41:18Didn't die till quite later.
41:21Oh, please stop clapping.
41:23Please, please.
41:25Okay, but it was stated in the task was before opening the present,
41:28not after.
41:30So...
41:32That really makes no difference, Luke.
41:36Can I say, Luke would have come second in this task.
41:41So Luke had a time of 22 minutes and 47 seconds.
41:44Nita had a time of 38 minutes and 17 seconds.
41:48So the final scores for this task, Luke with zero points,
41:52having been disqualified.
41:53Julia gets two.
41:54Nina, three.
41:55Jimmy, four.
41:55And the winner of the task is Danielle with five points.
42:00Would you like to hear the current scores before the live task?
42:03Oh, yes, please.
42:04Tied for the current lead, it's Danielle and Nina both on 21 points.
42:10All right, everyone knows what they have to do.
42:12Let's take the stage to go live.
42:19Okay, we're going out with some good old fashioned darts, are we, Tom?
42:22Almost.
42:23Nina, could you please read the final task?
42:26From your spot, stick a pickle to the bullseye.
42:29If your pickle lands in the one,
42:31you must read an apology from the apology jar before throwing again.
42:36If your pickle lands in the two,
42:37you must eat a whole pickle before throwing again.
42:41If your pickle lands in the three,
42:43you must wear oven mitts for your next throw.
42:46If you miss the board altogether,
42:47you must live with the shame of that.
42:51For a successful bullseye,
42:53more than half your pickle must be inside the bullseye
42:56for more than five seconds.
42:58First to stick a pickle to the bullseye wins.
43:01Ready, set.
43:06Oof.
43:07I'm sorry, I should have known better.
43:08I should have known that something like this was coming.
43:10Taskmaster, I'm so sorry for that.
43:12Taskmaster, I apologise for being such a stupid,
43:14dick-deadist.
43:16It's entirely to blame.
43:17Oh!
43:18Oh!
43:22Julia, you've won.
43:23No, that's 50% in the one.
43:25No!
43:25Please forgive me for being such a big pile of shit.
43:31Only the biggest pile of shit in the world
43:33could screw up a throw this bad.
43:35And that's me.
43:35Stupid, stupid, stupid.
43:36I'm so stupid.
43:37I can't believe I would do this.
43:38It's my social television.
43:39I can't believe it.
43:40I can't believe it.
43:41I can't believe it.
43:42I can't believe it.
43:42I can't believe it.
43:43I can't believe it.
43:47I can't believe it.
43:47Oh, my God.
43:48I'm a big old pile of shit.
43:53I can't believe it.
43:54I can't believe it.
43:54Is it good, Luke?
43:55I think that was quite a good pickle.
43:57Stupid, stupid.
43:58I can't believe I would do this to myself
44:00on national temperature.
44:01Oh, my God!
44:03Oh, my God!
44:04Can we make that ball?
44:05Yes!
44:06No!
44:09I am sorry for missing the ball side.
44:11Oh, Nina's a star.
44:13Five, four, three, two, one.
44:16Nina's hit the bullseye.
44:20I think you're definitely last, Jimmy.
44:23Yeah.
44:24Please read your apology.
44:25Taskmaster, I apologise for being such a stupid dipshit.
44:32It's my fault that I missed the bullseye and no one else's.
44:39OK, that's it. It's over.
44:42The winner is foretold.
44:44We will find out who is going to win Taskmaster Australia
44:47season one, right after this.
45:00Welcome back to Taskmaster.
45:02In just a moment, our inaugural Taskmaster Australia champion
45:05will be crowned and with it they will receive untold glory
45:08and a lifetime of adoration.
45:10But first, we've got to do the winner for this episode
45:13and give them a Rubik's Cube.
45:16What are the scores?
45:17So our scores for the live task.
45:19Jimmy came last and got one point.
45:22Nina got two points.
45:23Luke was on three.
45:24Danielle got four.
45:25And Julia was the winner with five points.
45:29So what's that mean for today's scoreboard?
45:31The winner of today's episode is Danielle with 25 points.
45:36OK.
45:39Congratulations, Danielle.
45:41You're our episode 10 winner.
45:42Head on up and enjoy your retro bounty.
45:45Get on up.
46:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:04So there we have it.
46:05Our first season is over.
46:08Our contestants have endured 10 weeks of immense hardship.
46:11They've conquered their fears, battled their demons and defied the odds,
46:15all while being judged by me.
46:17Tom Cashman, will you please tell us who the winner of Taskmaster Australia season one is?
46:24In fifth place, we have Luke with 138 points.
46:29In fourth place, it's Nina with 146 points.
46:33Jimmy in third place with 156 points.
46:39Second place goes to Julia with 160 points.
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:44That means the winner of series one of Taskmaster Australia is Danielle Walker with 164 points.
46:55Congratulations, Danielle.
46:58That's it from me.
46:59See you next season on Taskmaster Australia.
47:02Good night.
47:04Enjoy my noggin.
47:06Congratulations.
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