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Taskmaster AU S01E09
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00:12This is the best day of my life.
00:35Yes, hello. Welcome to Taskmaster Australia. I'm Tom Gleeson and it's my job to watch comedians
00:42do things and decide who is good and who is the opposite of good. In one week, one of
00:46the desperate comedians sitting before me will take their career to new heights and
00:51win this golden Tom Gleeson shaped head, which they get to put in their living rooms and imagine
00:57what it's like to have me come and visit. Competing for Glory this week and every week,
01:03it's our season one cast. Daniel Walker. Jimmy Rees. Julia Morris. Luke McGregor. And Nina Oyama.
01:17It's impossible to Taskmaster alone. I've got help. I'm pretty sure there's trouble at home
01:22and he lives in the studio. It's Tom Cashman.
01:28What's our prize task tonight? Tonight, our contestants have been requested to bring
01:33what they consider to be the most desirable runny thing. The best one will receive five
01:38points, second best four points and so on. And the winner of tonight's episode will take
01:41home all five runny things. Jimmy, what are you brought in? It is the jam from inside a carnival
01:49donut. Oh, look at it. Yum. Oh, okay. So you're going for the desirableness of it. Yeah. Well,
01:58it looks quite viscous. It doesn't seem that runny. Only like on one side, it's run out of
02:02the donut and on the other side, it's staying put. Oh, it's a still image. It's about to run.
02:09Like obviously that, that side's had a head start. It's usually hot. Yeah. And runny.
02:14Okay. Nina, what have you got? Well, I brought in something that's the most desirable runny
02:18thing for me, um, who's someone that often has IBS and gets constipated. So I brought in
02:23a microlax. But it was given to me as a gift when I was constipated by Danielle Walker.
02:32That is true. I'll pack these when I'm going traveling because on a plane flight, I'll eat
02:36the food and then I won't be able to shit. Where on the plane do you do that? You don't
02:41do that on the plane. You said you just did. This isn't my prize task. I don't have to
02:45sell this. What have you brought in, Danielle? Um, I brought in the icing that you look off
02:51beaters. Oh, okay. Oh, that looks very desirable. It looks lovely. But doesn't it set though?
02:57Not when it's on the beaters. It says when you put it in the fridge, when you're looking
03:01it off the beaters, that is runny as shit. So I think you've brought in a Vienna cream
03:08and a Vienna cream is quite, it's quite turgid. You know, you'll judge this however you want,
03:12Tom, and I'm happy for you to do that. Really? Like always. Okay, great. Uh, Julia, what did
03:18you bring in? Last year I had the beef in my eyes cut out. So not only is the results
03:23have
03:23been desirable. Um, the eyelids are now, after the year since the surgery, they have become
03:30quite runny. Uh, so here they are. It looks like Danielle's icing. Yeah.
03:36Why'd you keep them? Were you thinking you might have to put them back?
03:38You never know. Sometimes I'm scared I look too young.
03:41Oh, and you don't want to intimidate the others with your, yeah.
03:44No, I can't be hanging around all my other 55-year-old buddies, you know, looking whatever,
03:4854. Uh. Luke? Um, I've really misunderstood the task, I think. Um, I, uh, I brought in runners.
04:01Why are they desirable? They look like they're desirable to you. Maybe not for me.
04:04You prefer to run without runners? No, I prefer fashion.
04:09Well, I mean, they're pretty, uh, they're, they're, they're, they are pretty, um,
04:19no. All right, so you, you want us to accept, uh, that they are runny in that you run in
04:24them. Yeah, yeah, please. Okay. I'm going to accept the wordplay from Luke. I think shoes
04:28are very runny. Yes. But I hated the shoes, so one point. Oh.
04:33Um, it's just purely down to the fact I find the shoes not desirable at all. The laxative
04:38enema, again, it's very desirable. No, it's not. Yes, it is.
04:42I'm going to give Nina two points. Julia, your eyelids themselves aren't that runny.
04:48Not anymore. So I'm going to give you three points. Danielle, very desirable, but it wasn't
04:51actually that runny in consistency, whereas Jimmy's was tasty and very runny. So five
04:56points to Jimmy. Four points to Danielle. That means that Jimmy takes an early lead and
05:02now we've moved from something runny into something a bit more solid, like a task.
05:17Oh my God. Oh my God. Tom. Where art thou? Tom. Oh, new Tom. Hi, I'm Joel. Nice to meet
05:29you.
05:30Pleasure. I'm sorry that Tom must have obviously died and has been replaced.
05:35Are you a scientist? Indeed I am. You're not just like a guy with a lab coat on that like
05:40came in from the outside? This is all real. And is your American accent real? Also real.
05:45This is crazy. Is that kind of a good American accent? It was awful. Where are you from in
05:50America, Joel? Minnesota. What is the defining feature of Minnesota? Prince. Like poor Prince?
05:59Like the artist formerly known as. Oh, Prince Prince. Make this doctor look like a fool.
06:06You didn't say you're a doctor, Joel. Dr. Joel. You may not touch the doctor. You may not hurt
06:13the doctor. Who's hurting the doctor? Why would anyone want to hurt you, Joel? You'd
06:18be surprised. You may ask any question of a doctor. Except about his personal life. You
06:22have eight minutes. Most made to look a fool doctor wins. Your time starts now.
06:29Oh. Okay. Okay, so they've got to make him look like a fool. That's right. He studied for
06:37eight years to make himself a respectable member of society and these contestants have eight
06:41minutes to ruin it. Okay, let's get into it then. Jimmy, Danielle and Juliet, the doctor
06:46will see you now. Where's your stethoscope? I am not that kind of doctor. Oh, are you a
06:50doctor of brainy stuff? I have a PhD in chemistry. So that's like chemicals? That is exactly correct.
06:56Name three Australian spreads. Vegemite, jam, margarine. Good. I think that's probably
07:06only one fool in the room and you are sitting beside it. Let's talk glowworms. Glowworms.
07:14How do they become glowy? Well, it's basically a chemical reaction where we are exciting an
07:19electron to a higher state, but it has a much lower relaxation than say fluorescence. Hence
07:23why they can still glow when there is no light source. So chemical reaction makes photons happen.
07:32Great. Do you know anything about photosynthesis? Yeah, I've heard of the concept.
07:36Do you know what all the letters and the numbers and the fractions are?
07:42Relative to what? CO2 plus H2O, sunlight over chlorophyll. C6H12O6 plus oxygen O2.
07:50It seems a little foolish that I can remember that and you have not retained that.
07:55What is the capital city of Australia? Canberra.
08:00Science isn't really about knowing things, it's about learning things. So I wouldn't feel like
08:04a fool if I didn't know something, but if I didn't try to learn it, then I would.
08:08My question to you is, how long is eight minutes?
08:11You have a PhD in chemistry. I'm going to stick with the Australian things.
08:18What do you know about carnivorous plants? They're hungry.
08:21What are your favorite types? The Venus flytrap. Do you know any others?
08:24Not off the top of my head. Boo. Never heard of a freaking sundew dude.
08:31You ever heard of a nepenthes? Name three Australian comedians.
08:40Jimmy. And their last names? You look like a Nelson.
08:44Jimmy Nelson. And? Tom Cashman. Debatable.
08:48And I think that's it, actually. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's okay.
08:53Do you have a pen on you? So I'm just going to change this a little bit.
08:56You may touch the doctor. You may hurt the doctor. I could ask you, hey. Oh yeah, thank God.
09:02What I was going to do is get to the big where it says, make yourself look like a fool.
09:06And if I haven't nailed that, I don't know what else I'm doing here.
09:09Jimmy Nelson out. You're put in a solid effort there trying to make them look foolish.
09:16I particularly like Danielle. You decided to ask how glow worms glow.
09:21That was a very interesting strategy, asking a chemist about chemistry.
09:25Danielle spent more than 30% of her time keenly learning about glow worms.
09:32Jimmy, you wanted him to know three Australian comedians.
09:35I figured he would have actually seen three people by then. I'm pretty sure Luke and Nina were before me
09:41and he didn't name them.
09:42Well, he could have also mentioned some that were internationally famous, I guess, like Dame Edna Everidge or Paul Hogan.
09:47Exactly. Yeah.
09:48Or even Rolf Harris, just for a bit of spice.
09:52Julia, the task was to make the doctor look like a fool, but you just spent a lot of time
09:56telling him how you were dumber than him.
09:59Except he didn't know photosynthesis. Don't you think it's a bit odd that I knew something grown up and he
10:05didn't?
10:06Not really, because you needed to sing a silly song to remember it.
10:09Well, I can do it for you now without the song, CO2 plus H2O, then you've got your sunlight over
10:13your chlorophyll, then you've got your C6, your H12 and your O6 plus oxygen is your photosynthesis, which is your
10:21water and your food molecules moving through the xylem and the phloem of the plant, feeding the plant normally from
10:27an area of a higher concentration to an area of lower concentration.
10:31Wow. Very impressive. You know what, he's probably watching at home now and he's probably feeling really, really foolish.
10:43Alright, stethoscope's down, we're taking a break. We'll be back with more Doctor Fooling right after this.
10:59Welcome back to Taskmaster, the only show that dares to answer one of life's unanswerable questions. Are comedians smarter than
11:06doctors?
11:07Tom Cashman, where are we at?
11:09Our contestants are attempting to make a real life doctor look like a fool.
11:13I'm ready for more Doctor Fooling, what have you got?
11:15He's got a PhD, can they make it stand for Pretty Huge Dimwit? It's Luke and Nina.
11:21Can you sit on this, please?
11:23It seems pretty dangerous.
11:24I'll do it, I'll do it as well.
11:28Can you please do that on yours?
11:30Man, you look so foolish. I can't see myself losing this challenge.
11:33Knock knock.
11:34Who's there?
11:35I did up.
11:36I did a poo.
11:38Ew, you did a poo? Gross.
11:41Knock knock.
11:42Who's there?
11:49Can you assume like a stretching pose like, like this?
11:53Um, once I start talking?
11:55We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a wonderful-
11:58Sarah, would you please stop stretching at the funeral?
12:00Knock knock.
12:01Who's there?
12:02All I think about is poo?
12:09All you think about is poo?
12:11Like clearly, because you keep bringing it up.
12:14We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a beautiful-
12:18Sarah, would you get that chew off your head please?
12:20We're at a funeral.
12:21Knock knock.
12:22Who's there?
12:23Pee-pee-poo-poo-pee-pee.
12:25Pee-pee-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo.
12:27Pee-pee-pee-poo-poo-poo-poo.
12:30Peepee-poo-poo.
12:31Peepee-poo-poo.
12:33Peepee-poo-poo.
12:34Peepee-poo-poo-poo.
12:34Peepee-poo-poo.
12:36Sorry, you messed that one up because it ended on a pue.
12:39Can you just try that one more time?
12:40As I was saying, we mourn the loss of the be-
12:43Sir, would you please don't give me the finger?
12:45I'm trying to do a eulogy here.
12:47Peepee, poo-poo, peepee, poo-poo.
12:50No, no, see, that's where you're wrong.
12:52Guess we're just gonna have to do it again.
12:54Loser!
12:54Sir, please!
12:55I'm trying to mourn the loss of someone here.
12:57Do you think I'm funny?
12:58No, trick question.
13:00Peepee, poo-poo time.
13:02Poo-pee, poo-pee, poo-pee, yummy poo-pee,
13:05in my tummy-tummy.
13:09I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to tell you.
13:11Our task is over, so you're in, you can, you can, okay.
13:15Peepee, poo-poo, say.
13:18Fooled you again.
13:19Poo-poo-poo.
13:21She did get rid of her hand.
13:27Nanny, you were jumping up and down there,
13:28chanting, poopy, poopy, poopy.
13:30Did you forget you were trying to make him look foolish?
13:32I really feel like since my prize task was poo-related,
13:34and then they showed this task,
13:36that it's gonna show that I have a real fixation
13:37on peepee and poo-poo.
13:39Well, to be fair, I think you did make him look foolish.
13:41You made a, you know, a professional doctor
13:43say over and over again,
13:45pee-pee, pee-pee, poo-pee, poo-pee, poo-pee,
13:46and he looked really stupid.
13:48Luke, by making the doctor do an improv scene,
13:50already, everyone looked like a fool, so that was a...
13:54The reason I thought of it is because I was at a funeral once,
13:56and a guy, a guy was sitting there like this.
14:01And I'm like, there's gotta be some sort of poses
14:03you can't do at funerals, and that's gotta be one of them.
14:06You wouldn't go up to someone and have your foot on a chair,
14:08and go, I'm sorry for your loss.
14:16I think Jimmy's on one point.
14:18Yeah.
14:19Okay, cause just, you embarrassed him by making him name
14:22two Australian comedians instead of three.
14:24Daniel's on two.
14:25Okay.
14:26Julia, I'm happy to give three points
14:27because you did no photosynthesis.
14:29Four points to Luke for making him look like an absolute idiot
14:32at a funeral, and five points to Nina Ayama for making
14:35highly qualified doctor say poofy, poofy, poofy, poofy,
14:39poofy, over and over again.
14:41So, with those points added,
14:42how's our scoreboard looking after that?
14:44So, we've got a three-way tie with Danielle, Jimmy,
14:46and Julia all on six points, but in the lead,
14:48currently, it's Nina with seven points.
14:49What?
14:54Okay, have you got any more of those tasks lying around, Tom?
14:57Sure. This one goes out to all the toddlers.
15:12Oh, hey! Fun has arrived.
15:17Hello, Tom.
15:18Hi, Jimmy.
15:19What's happening there?
15:20Oh, my God. It's a baby in a bathtub.
15:23It's pretty fun.
15:24Oh, she's crying.
15:25Why is the water coming out of the baby?
15:27Why would you do this?
15:29It's all right, baby.
15:31Let's open up the box and see what's inside.
15:37I almost forgot to read it out.
15:39I was just reading it in my head.
15:40Throw a tantrum.
15:41Most sensational tantrum wins.
15:43You have 13 minutes to plan.
15:46And execute your tantrum.
15:49Rightio.
15:49What does the last line say?
15:51Your time starts now.
15:52I'm thrilled for the time to start.
15:54But if you keep making fun of me every time, I don't say your time starts...
16:00That's fun.
16:01I'm kidding.
16:01I'm sorry.
16:07So our contestants have to throw a tantrum to be clear.
16:09Our cast threw countless other tantrums during the filming.
16:13But these are the only ones we caught on camera.
16:15Who do you have for us first?
16:17These two love to smile, but can they spew bile?
16:19It's Nina and Jimmy.
16:20I could probably just, you know, freeball a tantrum from scratch, to be honest.
16:25Got a lot of pent-up stuff going on.
16:26I'm really hungry.
16:28Tom?
16:29Tom, can you bring me a snack?
16:30Here's a healthy snack, Nina.
16:31Oh.
16:33Cheers, mate.
16:33Hi, Jimmy.
16:34Here's some pasta for you.
16:36Special fusilli and macaroni-style pasta.
16:40Oh.
16:42Are you trying to poison me?
16:46Where's the penne?
16:47Oh, there's no penne in it on this occasion.
16:50I don't know.
16:50I want spirally pasta.
16:52I want the penne.
16:53I want the penne.
16:56I want that.
16:58Are you sure this is edible?
17:01No.
17:02No.
17:03Get it out.
17:03Get it out.
17:04Do you have anything?
17:05Some popcorn.
17:05Not popcorn!
17:09Oh, come on.
17:10What are you whinging about?
17:11Oh, no.
17:11It's penne.
17:12I want the penne.
17:14Ah.
17:14What do you put in this?
17:16What do you put in this, Tom?
17:17Here's some lollies.
17:18Like, why?
17:21Ah, penne!
17:23There are there.
17:24Penne!
17:25Jimmy.
17:26Penne!
17:29Why'd you give me two liters of milk, Tom?
17:31You think I can drink two liters of milk?
17:34You think I have it in me to drink this much lactose?
17:38Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
17:40Penne!
17:41We can all be angry, okay?
17:43Penne!
17:45What is wrong with you?
17:47Penne!
17:47Here's some penne.
17:48Why are you doing this to me?!
17:54It's not cooked!
17:57It's not cooked!
17:59Thanks, mate.
18:00Oh!
18:01I'm quitting a show!
18:04Good job.
18:06See you, Dad.
18:08Oh, okay.
18:10Thank you, everybody.
18:11That was my tantrum.
18:18I think it's interesting that Jimmy did a tantrum pretending to be a child, and Nina,
18:22you did a tantrum pretending to be yourself.
18:26Were you ever concerned?
18:27Were you ever accidentally drawn into her make-believe world?
18:30I feared for my life.
18:34Now, Jimmy, just how spoiled are your children?
18:36Because I feel like you were drawing on something there.
18:38The penne was a bit too specific.
18:40Is that from your life?
18:41Well, I think every child is specific.
18:43If the plate's blue and not green, or there's a bowl, or I wanted a fork.
18:48Not a small fork.
18:49Not a large fork.
18:50I wanted a teaspoon.
18:51But they hide all the teaspoons.
18:53You can have a fine teaspoon, and they just throw them everywhere, and you just have
18:56to get a big spoon.
18:57I think Jimmy means yes.
19:02Here's something to get really mad about.
19:03We're stopping the show for a few minutes.
19:05Not to worry, we'll be back right away with more Taskmaster.
19:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:20Welcome back to Taskmaster.
19:22Five comedians are head-to-head in a tense battle to win some cake batter,
19:27but only one lucky licker will get to lick it.
19:30Tom Cashman, how are they going about it?
19:32Our contestants are trying to chuck a tantrum.
19:34Most Sensational Tantrum wins.
19:37You got some more tantrum moves for me?
19:39They seem lovely, but there's something very dark hiding deep inside them.
19:43At least for their sake, I hope so.
19:44It's Luke and Danielle.
19:46Most Sensational Tantrum wins.
19:48Most Sensational Tantrum wins.
19:50Sensational.
19:51That's, like, so crazy you can't even believe it.
19:55I'm a pretty cool, calm, clexic guy.
19:57I don't know how to throw a tantrum.
19:59I'm going to make this look like you.
20:01OK.
20:01And then I'm going to crack a tantrum about all your rules and regulations.
20:06We could orchestrate a fight scene.
20:08That's my tantrum.
20:09I've always wanted to choreograph a fight scene.
20:11OK.
20:12Put some evil eyes on him.
20:15OK, so we need character backstories.
20:17OK.
20:17I'll be the hero.
20:18And you're the guy who's a...
20:20Piece of shit.
20:20You're the polluter.
20:22Yep.
20:22Mr Shit, did you say?
20:23I said piece of shit.
20:24Piece of shit.
20:24I like Mr Shit.
20:26Mr Shit?
20:27Well, well, well.
20:27Mr Shit.
20:28Yeah, I can be Mr Shit.
20:35Ah, you stole my hand like I had a spare.
20:37That'll be the start.
20:39I should throw that down, maybe?
20:40Maybe you rub it on the back side as a sign of disrespect.
20:43And then you litter it.
20:45So I'm like, I'm angry.
20:46I'm missing my third hand.
20:48And it's got bum on it.
20:50You've littered.
20:51You've just littered.
20:51Yeah, so that's like the trifecta.
20:53So one, two, three.
20:55And then I'm going to spin around.
20:56Oh.
20:56And you're going to block it with that one.
20:57Yeah.
20:58And then I'm going to go...
20:58And you go...
21:04OK, that's good enough, I think.
21:07And then I'll go...
21:09I think that's pretty good.
21:10I think with sound effects that's going to look real good.
21:14Well, well, well.
21:16Mr Shit.
21:18I've heard you've changed your ways.
21:19I have.
21:20And as a show of respect, I'm going to shake your hand with my favourite hand.
21:25But don't take it off me and don't litter.
21:26And do not wipe it on your bum.
21:28I never pollute.
21:33You son of a bitch.
21:34You've done all three things.
21:36Oh, no!
21:44Oh, what a productive tantrum!
21:48OK, now we just go get our Oscar.
21:52How much longer do I have?
21:5319 seconds.
21:5419 seconds.
21:55I'm going to be angry at you for all the rules.
21:59Oh!
22:00Ah!
22:01Thanks, Danielle.
22:02Well, my time's up.
22:03I thought I had 15 minutes to plan and prepare.
22:06Plan and execute.
22:07Oh, no!
22:09God damn it!
22:11Take some...
22:14Take that, Ashman.
22:17You dog.
22:18God damn it.
22:21Oh, no.
22:23I thought I...
22:24Oh, boy.
22:26Now I am real angry at you.
22:29None of this tantrum counts.
22:31Boy.
22:36That was a great tantrum, Danielle.
22:38It was the best tantrum we've seen so far.
22:40If it was in the competition, it would win.
22:44You said that you were going to rage against all the rules and regulations.
22:48Would you say the rules and regulations were victorious?
22:52Not for my mental health, no.
22:55Now, Luke, we all know a big part of a tantrum is choreographing it beforehand.
23:01It was a very tidy and organised tantrum.
23:03I feel like you didn't actually let go at any point.
23:06Yeah, I did.
23:06As the character against my arch-nemesis, Mr Shit.
23:11Okay.
23:12Is there anyone left?
23:13It was the most apprehensive I've been before shooting any part of this show.
23:18Next, it's Julia Morris.
23:20What can I work my way up into?
23:22It's just been absolutely infuriating me forever.
23:26Anything that's unfair.
23:28Nothing makes me turn more than things that are unjust.
23:33I'm ready.
23:34Okay.
23:36Here's my tantrum.
23:38I think it's despicable the way women get paid
23:4230% less than their male counterparts
23:46When they're working
23:47Doesn't matter which workplace you're in
23:51Women are put right down
23:54They're not allowed to really shine
23:57There's even a little glass ceiling
24:00Where you can't get higher
24:04What makes women less than men?
24:07I don't know, Tom.
24:08What makes women less?
24:09It's hard to say
24:11But I can tell you this
24:13That's gonna change
24:15If I had my way
24:16I would just kill all the men
24:19And have women with the top wage
24:22You wanna know why
24:24We deserve the money
24:26That's 30%
24:28Can help with all the maintenance
24:30Waxing
24:32Waxing costs
24:34Tanning
24:35That costs money too
24:38We get the hair dye
24:40We get the facials
24:42You have your teeth done
24:43You lift your tits up
24:45It costs money
24:48And it's simply not fair
25:01Anyone who pays us less
25:03Can get f***ed
25:13So Julia, would this be a bad time for me to tell you that you're being paid less than me
25:17on this production?
25:18I have absolutely no doubt about that Tom
25:21Maybe even less than Tom Cashman
25:25Okay, well you said a tantrum to song
25:27Can a tantrum, you know, be a song?
25:29I guess I was focused on the word sensational
25:31I felt like I was having a tantrum in my words
25:35Yes
25:35But making the entire thing rather sensational
25:40Because who wouldn't want to see themselves like that on the television?
25:45Okay, alright, well I've got to come up with some scores, don't I?
25:48Straight away, I feel like Danielle, she's not disqualified, you didn't do anything wrong
25:51There was just no tantrum that occurred in the allotted time, so
25:54Yeah, it was just carefully doing crafts
25:57Yes
25:59But I'm going to give you one point
26:00I think I've got to give Luke two
26:01Because even though I enjoyed it and found it very entertaining
26:03With a highly organised choreographed, rehearsed tantrum
26:06That lacked a little bit of passion
26:08Then I'm going to give three points to Nina for an unfocused tantrum
26:11Four points to Jimmy for a very focused tantrum
26:13But I think the statement about gender equality
26:17Which you take very seriously
26:18I take it very seriously
26:19In the way that Julia Morris expressed that
26:22By talking about a pubes in a song
26:26Is to be highly commended
26:27So five points to Julia Morris
26:32Here's something to throw a tantrum about
26:35We're leaving your screens for a few minutes
26:37Sorry, that's just how television works
26:39See you soon with more Taskmaster!
26:51Welcome back to the penultimate episode of Taskmaster
26:55Tom Cashman, is it time for another task?
26:57Damn straight!
26:58This one is a bit of a collector's item
27:14Oh!
27:15Okay!
27:17That's a lot of buckets
27:19Lovely colours!
27:20I hope these are just unrelated and you're like just moving house or something
27:27Collect one of something
27:29Two of something else
27:31Three of something else
27:32Four of something else
27:34Five of something else
27:35Six of something else
27:35Do you reckon it's going to be seven of something else next?
27:38Seven of something else
27:40Eight of something else
27:41Nine of something else
27:42Ten of something else
27:43Eleven of something else
27:43Twelve of something else
27:45Fourteen of something else
27:46So the thirteen is missing
27:47Oh no thirteen!
27:49Did you expect me to catch that Tom?
27:50It's the 16 of something else, 17 of something else, 18 of something else.
27:5319 of something else, 20 of something else.
27:56So you must bring all of your things back to the desk.
27:59Fastest wins. Time starts now.
28:01Oh, wait, wait, wait.
28:04One.
28:08Our contestants will be collecting things, 197 of them, to be exact.
28:12OK, and now we'll collect hundreds of thousands of fans
28:15along the way with this riveting television.
28:17Who's first?
28:19It's our three youngest contestants.
28:20Here's Jimmy, Nina and Danielle.
28:23Well, my one thing is a GoPro.
28:2520 books. There we go.
28:28There's 19 somethings, so that's 19 something else's.
28:35I haven't done my two.
28:36What if I did a poop in there?
28:38That's not appropriate. Why did I say that?
28:40Oh, there's not 13 of something on there.
28:42Don't need that.
28:43There's 20 buckets, so that's that done.
28:45Oh, two hands.
28:47This is like moving day on Taskmaster.
28:5017, Tom.
28:53This is very smart, I think.
28:5712, 18, 16.
28:5914, 15, 17.
29:013, 8, 10 knives, Tom.
29:04I think I've done it.
29:05Stop the time, friend.
29:07Yeah, that's done.
29:11Oh, my God, there's another task.
29:13Oh, no.
29:16Return all of your things to their original location.
29:20Fastest wins.
29:21Your time starts now.
29:22I didn't even get some of this stuff off the shelf.
29:24Oh, where did these guys come from?
29:27I think it was over here.
29:29Googly eyes go in there.
29:30Matches go in there.
29:31God, dang it.
29:32What's next?
29:33Ah, pistachio.
29:35No.
29:36Text this guy back on the shelf.
29:38That's where they were.
29:39Definitely on the shelf.
29:40Definitely on the shelf.
29:42I've got a pretty good memory, Tom.
29:43Is that where they were?
29:44Yes.
29:45Yes.
29:46You know we took photos.
29:48Good for you.
29:48Old ones here.
29:50Old ones.
29:51Just got one there.
29:56What was that?
29:59100% sure about that.
30:01100% sure?
30:02Yeah, yeah.
30:02We're getting there.
30:03Don't have to put the ones I ate back as well.
30:06I messed this up, I think, Tom.
30:11Done.
30:18So, Danielle, you got a bit clever there,
30:20and you said the 20 buckets was your 20.
30:22Is that right?
30:23Well, I don't remember.
30:24This was filmed months ago.
30:26We just watched it.
30:29I wasn't listening to myself.
30:30I was listening to the other people.
30:32OK, Nina, you know how you're not fixated with shit?
30:36In yet another clip, just pulled out of the blue,
30:40you mentioned that you were going to do a number two
30:42in the two buckets.
30:43Yeah, that was a long time ago, guys.
30:46I've reformed.
30:47But you do realise if you did a number two in the two bucket,
30:49you'd be putting one thing in the two bucket?
30:51Not if I cut it in half.
30:55And, Jimmy, I think you were pretty quick at tidying up there,
30:58I feel.
30:59I think, yep.
31:00I collected a lot of things, 100 and whatever it was.
31:03Whether I got them back, I'm not quite sure.
31:05There were small discrepancies in where they put it back,
31:07but they all pretty much got it back where they fell.
31:10Nina spent 32 minutes and 8 seconds.
31:14Danielle, 26 minutes and 27 seconds.
31:17And Jimmy took 18 minutes and 52 seconds.
31:22You got anyone else throwing stuff into a bucket?
31:25They're the two oldest contestants.
31:27Hopefully they don't kick the bucket.
31:28It's Luke and Julia.
31:31Oh, does it have to be the same thing?
31:32All the information you get is in the tiles.
31:34I'm going to go to some of the bigger numbers first.
31:36Seven.
31:37What's that?
31:39What's this?
31:39This is these.
31:40That's, um...
31:42Everyone knows what this is.
31:43I reckon I can get 16 personal items.
31:45Nine drops of water.
31:48Eight.
31:49Nine.
31:49I'm a genius.
31:50OK, that's exactly three cups.
31:52In it goes.
31:53Good job.
31:5515 balloon kisses into a bucket.
31:57One.
31:58Two.
31:59Three.
32:00Four.
32:01Five.
32:02I shouldn't have done this earlier.
32:03Six.
32:03Eleven.
32:05Actually, my favourite number.
32:07So let's fill it with something truly epic.
32:0917 cracked peppers.
32:11One, two, three, four, five, six.
32:14I'm going to fill it with 11 bits of spit.
32:18Oh, right.
32:18OK.
32:2413 compliments.
32:26You're gorgeous.
32:27You're the best.
32:29You're a lovely bucket.
32:30I bet you can hold a bunch of stuff.
32:32Well, I'd add a bit of meat in it.
32:35Never seen a better bucket than you.
32:38Pink is a great colour.
32:39Oh, God.
32:40I'm running out of bucket.
32:42You're very pretty.
32:43I've never had my head on a better thing.
32:50This is not amusing.
32:53Oh, no.
32:55Return all your things to the original.
32:58Oh.
32:59I'm going to have to start with that while it's still fresh.
33:02OK.
33:02Here we go.
33:11Is that empty, do you reckon?
33:13Look, there's no drippies.
33:14Or do you want me to get in there and lick it?
33:16Oh, that's fine.
33:16OK.
33:17How am I going to put the compliments back?
33:19Eat shit.
33:20You're the worst.
33:21Worst bucket of all time.
33:22You will die alone because no-one wants to date a bucket.
33:27I'll never support bucket equality.
33:29I mean, I normally wouldn't carry that much cash,
33:32but I was just really hoping to score.
33:34Oh, the bucket with all the kisses.
33:35I don't know how many kisses were a bit.
33:37Phew.
33:41Here we go.
33:42Back in the right spot.
33:51Julia, has it ever occurred to you to not be disgusting?
33:55I just had to do it.
33:57Like, I was there to jump in.
33:58There was not a drip left.
34:01I...
34:02Even the tiny bit of meat.
34:04I...
34:06I was, yeah, I was committed.
34:09Luke, that's probably the nicest thing
34:10that anyone's ever said about a bucket.
34:13And so you put compliments in.
34:15Yeah.
34:15But then when you took them back out,
34:16they turned into insults.
34:18How does...
34:18I thought that would cancel them out.
34:20It's like, you know when you poo in the toilet
34:21and then you spray air freshener?
34:23Hang on, have you just turned into Nina?
34:27I'd like to point something out here.
34:29As some of the other contestants noticed,
34:30it wasn't necessary to do anything with the number 13.
34:34Oh, dear.
34:36Wish you'd told me that on the day.
34:38I really destroyed that bucket's confidence for no reason.
34:45Luke took 25 minutes and 31 seconds.
34:48Julia, 32 minutes and 9 seconds.
34:52OK.
34:53That means the overall scores are
34:55Julia with one point,
34:56Nina with two,
34:57Dania with three,
34:58Luke with four,
34:59and Jimmy wins the task with five points.
35:02OK.
35:03What are you going to put in your shopping bucket
35:05when you go to the supermarket?
35:07Why don't you get inspired by watching some ads?
35:09See you soon with more Taskmaster!
35:12APPLAUSE
35:19Look, I know you're watching it now,
35:21but how about watching more later?
35:22Catch every moment of triumph
35:23and utter humiliation of Taskmaster Australia
35:26with full episodes at 10play.com.au
35:28or the 10play app.
35:36Welcome back to Taskmaster.
35:38It's the second last episode.
35:39The atmosphere is electric.
35:41Who will get to take home Julia Morris'
35:44yummy, yummy eyelids?
35:46Only time will tell.
35:47What's next, Tom?
35:48We don't usually do this,
35:50but we're going to sneak in a fourth proper task.
35:52Ooh!
35:53Well, if you've got one.
35:55I sure do,
35:56and I don't think you're going to like it.
36:12What's up?
36:14Ooh!
36:15Hello, Tom.
36:17Um, what are we doing?
36:19Yeah.
36:21I've got a locker with my name on it.
36:29OK.
36:30There's some negative film in here?
36:32Just some photos taken of me against my will.
36:35No!
36:36This one's pretty rude.
36:38You're giving me the finger.
36:39Oh, right.
36:41All right.
36:42Take a secret photo of the Taskmaster
36:46without them knowing.
36:47You must bring your secret photo
36:50to the record of episode nine.
36:52Most impressive secret photo wins.
36:56Am I going to...
36:58Ow!
36:59Am I allowed to keep this piece of paper
37:00so it reminds me?
37:01Because guess what's going to happen?
37:02It's not going to remember.
37:04What if he catches you?
37:05Didn't say on there.
37:06All the information is in the task.
37:08All right.
37:08I'm going to get out of here
37:09because this is a future me problem.
37:21OK, well, I didn't know about this task.
37:24I can tell you this much.
37:26I didn't notice anyone taking my photos
37:28so this is a little bit unnerving
37:31but I'm cool under pressure
37:33so I don't mind, I guess.
37:34All right.
37:34I think we've got Danielle's first.
37:39Oh.
37:39This is Tom Gleeson
37:42through the surveillance system.
37:46I snuck in there
37:47and Tom moves too fast
37:48to catch him in a way
37:50that doesn't make him look like an alien.
37:54Did you take the photo?
37:55Well, I took the screenshot of it
37:58and then that's technically then a photo.
38:01All right.
38:02What else do you have?
38:02Next up we have Luke's.
38:05So this is Tom in his natural habitats.
38:09Checking in at the hotel.
38:11We get the car home together.
38:13The whole time we were talking, Tom,
38:14I kept having my phone up like this
38:16but I was really enjoying our chat.
38:18I didn't want to ruin our friendship
38:19by taking a photo of you
38:20and then not being able to tell you why.
38:23I think I remember this night.
38:25You're off your nut.
38:29So I've got more of a paparazzi style one
38:32behind the bush.
38:33All right.
38:33Who else do we go?
38:34Okay, next up we have Jimmy's submission.
38:36Um, this is you and your natural habitat.
38:38Oh, fuck, fuck.
38:41And it also answers the age-old question,
38:43do the curtains match the drapes?
38:45Oh, okay.
38:47So the drapes fell out naturally?
38:50It's a renovation.
38:51You do look good in a turtleneck.
38:53Oh, thanks.
38:53It's pretty good.
38:55Are you implying that I went to that waxing salon
38:58and got waxed and then walked out
39:00and my head was slightly larger than it should be?
39:04I was just across the road with a long lens.
39:07We have Nina's.
39:11There's a part two to this
39:13because I thought that you wouldn't like this task
39:15that Tom Cashman set up to you.
39:17So can we get the second photo?
39:24Okay, what else do you have?
39:25Well, we've only got one left
39:26and it's Julia's submission.
39:28This actually has a story behind it.
39:30Oh.
39:31So I went onto your Instagram
39:32and I realised that you were on tour with Hard Quiz.
39:35Oh.
39:36And about a week after I got the task,
39:39you were in Tasmania.
39:41Oh.
39:42So I went out to Melbourne Airport
39:44and I was like, ooh, I wonder if this is Tom.
39:46Yeah.
39:48I'm like, no, that's not Tom.
39:50I was like, do you know what?
39:51I wonder if this is Tom.
39:52Oh, no, that's not Tom.
39:54Is that Tom?
39:54No, that is not Tom.
39:56So then I'm like, well, maybe you've flown the night before
39:58and I've missed my opportunity.
39:59So I went through security and then I found him.
40:03Oh, that's me.
40:04Here he goes.
40:06So then it doesn't end there, my friend.
40:09I then followed you.
40:11Oh, shit.
40:15Oh, no.
40:26So this was the look out the front
40:28while you were waiting for your car.
40:29Oh, yeah, no, you're not happy.
40:33Your car was taking ages.
40:36I'm like, I am a much bigger star.
40:38Then I followed Tom to his hotel.
40:45There was a lot of adrenaline going on that day
40:47and I thought, he's up in his room now
40:50and I don't want to blow it,
40:51so what I'm going to do is go and take a nice photo of myself
40:53with the task outside your theatre, which I did.
40:58Wow.
41:03I asked Julia for some statistics.
41:05She spent more than $950.
41:09She travelled more than 875 kilometres.
41:14There seems to be one that had a bit more effort put into it
41:17than the others.
41:19Maybe starting at the bottom, I'm going to say Luke's was pretty feeble.
41:22He just took a photo of me at the hotel.
41:24He could have taken a much more damaging one that other night
41:26when we were out on the tiles.
41:28So, one point to Luke.
41:29Nina just took a photo in the corridor,
41:30so that's two points to Nina.
41:32Again, Danielle, though, three points
41:34because it was just a security cam shot.
41:36Jimmy went to a lot of effort with this.
41:39Photoshop.
41:40So, I'm giving you four points.
41:42But just for the sheer effort and adventure,
41:44it has to be five points to Julian Morris.
41:48What has that done to our episode scoreboard tonight?
41:53The winner at the moment is Jimmy with 19 points.
41:55Oh, OK.
41:57Well, this seems like a good point to ask.
41:59What are the scores overall for the whole series?
42:01We have Luke in fifth place on 117 points,
42:04but the current winner is Julia with 144 points.
42:09All right.
42:11Thanks for that, Tom.
42:12As for me, I'm still reeling.
42:14I have no choice but to punish you all with a live task.
42:17Get on stage!
42:22Tom, I'm deeply intrigued.
42:24What's going on here?
42:25Luke, please read the task.
42:34Bounce or don't bounce on your tramp or bounce or don't bounce on your step.
42:38If you trick the taskmaster into thinking you're on a tramp instead of step
42:42or on step instead of tramp, you will progress to the next round.
42:46Last to trick the taskmaster wins, a bonus point will be awarded for the most joyous bouncing.
42:52Taskmaster, please turn around if you may.
42:55Please select your tramp or your step.
43:10Taskmaster, please turn back around and make your first guess.
43:20I think Luke is on a step.
43:24Incorrect.
43:25I think Danielle is on a step.
43:29Correct.
43:31I think Nina is stepping on a step.
43:36Incorrect.
43:37I think Julia is being stationary, kind of on a trampoline,
43:41but in a joyful way.
43:44100% correct.
43:46I think Jimmy is pretending to bounce on a step.
43:49Correct.
43:52Taskmaster, could you please turn around?
44:03Hurry up, Nina.
44:07Whoa!
44:09Oh my God, this is fun!
44:12I feel like they might be going for a double bluff here, so maybe...
44:17I feel like Luke is on a step and Nina is on a trampoline, but pretending it's a step.
44:26You are correct in Nina's case, incorrect in Luke's case.
44:29Luke is the winner.
44:30What?
44:31What?
44:36OK, well, wonderful bouncing or not bouncing.
44:39We'll be back after the break with the final scores.
44:54Welcome back to Taskmaster.
44:56They've painted, they've thrown tantrums, they've bounced, they've not bounced.
45:00And after all that, only one person can be the winner and leave with Nina's laxative.
45:06Our live task saw Jimmy, Danielle and Julia get one point.
45:11Nina got three points.
45:13And Luke got five points.
45:17However, there's a joyousness bonus point, which you now have to choose.
45:22I'm going to give it to Luke.
45:23He was forever joyous when he was bouncing around.
45:28So what's that done to the episode scoreboard?
45:31The winner of the episode is Jimmy with 20 points.
45:33Whoa!
45:35Congratulations, Jimmy.
45:36Five desirable running things are yours.
45:40Get up on that stage, suck them up and take them home.
45:43You're a winner.
45:44Yeah!
45:47We are nine episodes down.
45:50Just one hour of thrilling television separates us
45:53and our first ever Taskmaster Australia winner.
45:55We learned that if you say something nice to a bucket,
45:58it's pretty hard to take it back.
46:01And I personally learned that I need to hire 24-7 personal security
46:06to keep on the lookout for Julia Morris.
46:10But most of all, we learned that our episode nine winner is Jimmy.
46:14Give him the love you believe he deserves.
46:17We'll see you next week for the grand finale of Taskmaster Australia.
46:37Yes, welcome to the season finale of Taskmaster.
46:42I don't want to brag, but I've got a feeling I'm going to be good at this.
46:44No!
46:45Tom, that was your fault.
46:47Please forgive me for being such a big pile of shit.
46:50Yeah!
46:51Who will walk away with my golden head,
46:53the respect of a nation, and no money?
46:56LAUGHTER
46:57LAUGHTER
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