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Taskmaster AU S03E02
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00:25is this good television
00:37Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia. I may be Tom Gleeson by day but by night across
00:44ten weeks of the calendar year I take on another title. A title that in a single word may answer
00:50some of humanity's deepest questions like why do we exist? For whom do we toil? And why
00:57have I found myself watching commercial television again? That three syllable title is of course
01:04the Taskmaster. This season our five comedians are Aaron Chen, Concetta Caristo, Mel Buttle,
01:17Peter Hellyer and Rhys Nicholson. And finally the other one sitting here, he has a presence
01:27that gives me chills even before he enters the room and crows always squawk at him. It's my
01:32assistant Tom Cashman. How are you, Weta?
01:39Oh, I'm okay. I've been privy to some celebrity gossip recently. I know how Rebel Wilson got
01:49her name. Her last name was named after the volleyball in Castaway. And her first name,
01:55that's from the shop where the volleyball was purchased.
02:02So in your act, is that material?
02:05Look, I'll be honest, I have done it on stage before.
02:10Yeah, I had a feeling. Don't drag your old shit in here again.
02:16Alright, what's up first?
02:17Well our first task is a prize task. Each contestant has brought in a prize and the winner of tonight's
02:22episode will take home all five prizes. Tonight our contestants have been asked to bring in
02:26what they consider to be the cheekiest thing in a box.
02:30Cheeky Rhys, what have you brought in?
02:32I've brought a few kilos of premium beef cheek.
02:40Okay, very literal definition there.
02:42Yeah, not too many jokes. It's just a bit of a meat raffle happening down here at Taskmaster.
02:46Bring the truck, bring the trailer, kids get in free.
02:50I grew up in Newcastle.
02:52You know what you've accidentally done there, is you've brought in something that's useful.
02:56Can you say that in my dad's voice, please?
03:03Alright, Mel, what did you bring in?
03:04Um, I brought in a thing called a pup and a cup.
03:07So I've slightly pulled the literal definition of box.
03:11Yeah.
03:13That's eye-catching.
03:16It's a children's toy, Rhys. Thank you.
03:19Okay, I think Rhys thinks it's some other toy.
03:23No, it pops up.
03:24So you squeeze the cup and the...
03:28Yay!
03:31Okay, not bad. Aaron?
03:33I bought, um, the Mr Bean box set.
03:40Now this guy's so cheeky, um, one time he put a turkey on his head.
03:48And most people like to drive cars sitting inside the car.
03:53But this guy, he drove it sitting on top of it.
03:58Aaron, what are some other things Mr Bean's done?
04:02Yeah, if you think he's not cheeky, then listen to this.
04:06One time, Mr Bean damaged an extremely expensive painting.
04:12And he replaced it with a print.
04:17Um, Conchetta, what did you bring in?
04:19I brought in the cheekiest guy.
04:22Get a load of this guy.
04:29I think you've mistaken cheekiness with, um, pervertedness.
04:34All right, Peter, what did you bring in that's cheeky?
04:37Well, mine was not dissimilar to what we just saw, but I think it is cheekier.
04:44Okay.
04:44It is the Dalai Lama taking a dump.
04:52A little cheeky dump.
04:54I found this on my travels in Barcelona.
04:56Right.
04:57I thought I had no profile in Spain.
05:00But there was a Peter Hellyer one in the shop in Barcelona.
05:08It's pretty cheeky of them to be making money off my name.
05:11I mean, I've never worn that, I don't wear glasses.
05:14But it's definitely me.
05:17I think that might be Elton John.
05:20Oh, yeah, I see that now.
05:24Can I bring something to your attention?
05:25Yes.
05:26The three people in the middle here, none of their prizes are in boxes.
05:30Right, well, Mel did say she just stretched the definition of box to cup.
05:34Yes, because it's in a thing, and is that thing a box?
05:37I don't know how to say. I'm not a box doctor. Or am I?
05:41All right, well, I better score this.
05:42Knowing that three aren't in a box is very persuasive
05:45that they should at least be the bottom three.
05:47Okay.
05:47So I'm going to say Pete gets one point.
05:49Conchetta on two.
05:50Okay.
05:50Mel's item, even though it wasn't in a box, did look genuinely cheeky.
05:54Out of all the items that we had, I think Mel's was the cheekiest.
05:58Three points to Mel.
05:58Rhys on four points.
06:00Of course, beef cheeks, you can just cook them up and eat them.
06:01It's quite useful.
06:02But Aaron gets five points.
06:06All right, time for a task, I think.
06:07This task involves something I've been searching for my whole life.
06:11A team.
06:11It's our first team task for the season.
06:26Hi, Tom.
06:28Oh, I don't think you're ready for all this jelly.
06:35Hey, Tom.
06:36Hi, Pete.
06:37You look good.
06:37I feel good.
06:39Oh, my God.
06:41G'day, mate.
06:42I'm going to cry.
06:46We've come dressed alike.
06:48Again.
06:49Should we catch up?
06:50Tom, can you give us a moment?
06:52Yeah, can you give us a couple of mimosas, Tom?
06:55Let's go talk.
06:56Listen.
06:56Is he mean to you?
06:58Yes!
06:58Yeah, I know.
06:59And he's annoying.
07:01Oh!
07:04Good to see you, Pete.
07:05Good to see you.
07:06What have you been up to?
07:08Just hanging out with my balls.
07:09Yeah.
07:10Let's read it together.
07:12Wearing your exercise ball vest.
07:14I guess that's these.
07:15Yep.
07:16Collect the seven odd shapes from around the Tars Master Retreat
07:20and stack them into a perfectly square tower on the oblong.
07:24You may not tamper with or remove your exercise ball vest.
07:28Also, one of you must whisper an original supportive sentence
07:33in the ear of a teammate every 30 seconds.
07:37Fastest wins.
07:38Oh, my God, are we going to go?
07:39Are you listening, Conchetta?
07:41Sorry.
07:41What's that last line?
07:42Your time starts now.
07:45Let's all go together and find the...
07:46Around the retreat.
07:47We look like hemorrhoids.
07:49I'll do next turn.
07:49Let's go.
07:54I love the team Tars.
07:56Very exciting.
07:56I'll have to think of names for the teams, too.
07:59Oh, that would be good.
08:00So, just to be clear, the game is basically hide-and-seek plus Tetris
08:04if you're pregnant with four babies.
08:07And the team of three must whisper an original supportive sentence
08:11every 30 seconds.
08:12The other team don't have to do that.
08:13What the hell?
08:13Just to make it slightly more difficult.
08:15You have an unfair advantage.
08:16There's three of you.
08:17Yeah, but it's so hard to think of nice things to say to these guys.
08:22All right, so which team is going to start us off?
08:24Making their debut with their debutante balls, it's Conchetta and Mel.
08:28I see one.
08:30Oh, my God!
08:32Mel!
08:33Mel, they're huge!
08:35I got one, too.
08:36OK, I'm going to keep going in.
08:40Ah!
08:42Another one!
08:44Brilliant.
08:45Got another one.
08:46OK.
08:46Here's one.
08:47There's one right here.
08:48OK, I grab that.
08:49You go to the shed.
08:51Now, how do I do this?
08:53Oh!
08:54I got one.
08:55Oh, babe!
08:57Babe, this is where the challenge really begins.
09:00OK, so we've got to be smart.
09:02Perhaps these shouldn't be together 69ing.
09:05The yellows on this.
09:08Yeah, that's looking hot.
09:10You can mount that one.
09:11Just wanted to hang out with my friend today, but I guess we'll just do this shit for your pleasure.
09:18I think we're close.
09:19And I didn't realise what a burden having four testicles would be.
09:23There you go.
09:24Perfect square.
09:25Done.
09:26We're so close.
09:27We're so close.
09:28Funny women now with beautiful hair.
09:32We do have good hair.
09:33We need to get this.
09:35What about, like, should the yellows be together and then, like, flat, flat?
09:41Oh, this is...
09:43How long have we been going?
09:4415 minutes and 51 seconds.
09:46We have to start again.
09:48No, I'm not starting again.
09:49But we won't.
09:50He'll keep us here forever until we do it.
09:53We will not die here.
09:54We'll not be at our 80th birthday going,
09:55I think we could probably make it work.
09:58Do you think you could potentially, after 15 minutes of trying something,
10:02not be focusing on dying here?
10:03It would get me out of finishing this thing.
10:06We had to move one thing.
10:08It all works perfectly till blue and yellow.
10:11What if they were swapped around?
10:13You beautiful bitch.
10:14Like, what if they were, like, better friends somehow?
10:17You're a smart whore!
10:19You did it!
10:20You did it!
10:21I'm so proud of you!
10:24Oh, shit!
10:25It's hard.
10:26I'll help you.
10:26Let me help you.
10:37So, Mel, you started solving a puzzle, you hit one small obstacle,
10:41then you wanted to end it all.
10:44Do you think you may have overreacted?
10:46No, I think I need meds and a chat.
10:49I love Conchetta, like the stepdaughter she is to me,
10:52but she's raised by a phone and a, like...
10:56We did not see eye to eye on how to solve that problem.
10:59In that Conchetta tried and you didn't.
11:04So you were in charge of being cross and whinging.
11:06Yep.
11:06And Conchetta was in charge of being optimistic, I felt.
11:09I felt like you were quite happy to have a go.
11:10I was so excited to see Mel, to, like, split the challenge of the task.
11:16I had only so many brain cells working.
11:19So, Conchetta, you were happy and Mel was very cross.
11:21I feel like I've worked out the team name.
11:22Oh, yeah.
11:23Ernie and Bert.
11:27I think that's the team.
11:29I don't think I have to go out on a limb.
11:31The other team are three.
11:32I think I'm just going to call them the Muppets.
11:35I haven't even seen what they're going to do,
11:37but I feel like they're going to live up to the name.
11:40Conchetta and Mel took 18 minutes and five seconds
11:43to complete the puzzle.
11:44Speedy.
11:45Okay.
11:46More ball suit shape shifters after this.
11:59Welcome back to Taskmaster, a show which has afforded Aaron Chen
12:03a unique opportunity to offload his bulky old DVDs as a prize.
12:09Speaking of DVDs, my nickname for this guy here is Special Features.
12:12Special Features.
12:14Where are we?
12:15Our contestants are attempting to put seven shapes into a perfect square tower.
12:20The next team have to whisper encouragingly to each other every 30 seconds.
12:23And I was hoping maybe we could do a bit of an example of what they have to do.
12:27Oh.
12:27Um, you're not that annoying.
12:32That'll have to do.
12:33It's Aaron, Peter and Rhys.
12:35Oh, here's one.
12:36Hey!
12:38Your balls are my favourite.
12:43Forget what your parents told you.
12:44I believe in you, okay?
12:46That's so awesome.
12:48Was that supportive?
12:49It's really supportive because he's saying like, he believes in me.
12:53As opposed to?
12:54My parents who don't.
12:55Oh.
12:58But I reckon that other yellow one comes on this side.
13:00Does the blue and the orange fit together?
13:02They don't.
13:02Aaron.
13:04Um, your outfit is Spick and Specs.
13:09Spick and Specs.
13:10Spick and Specs.
13:11Spick and Specs.
13:12Spick and Specs.
13:12This is the most brain training I've had for a while.
13:15Yeah.
13:15I reckon they go.
13:17I reckon that.
13:21Do we want to start with the yellows?
13:23What about like that?
13:24Yeah.
13:25Maybe the purple starts at the bottom.
13:27I don't know.
13:28This is good.
13:29I think this is good.
13:29Have you considered instituting a method of some kind?
13:32Just let us do the job, please.
13:34Okay.
13:34Let's think about this laterally.
13:36Two, I see the block there.
13:39Okay.
13:39This is like watching A Beautiful Mind right now.
13:41Yeah.
13:41Yeah.
13:42Okay.
13:43Let's start again.
13:44Yeah.
13:44Let's start at the bottom.
13:47Maybe purple on the side next to the red.
13:50Have we done that?
13:50I don't know what we've done!
13:52Whoa.
13:53I don't know what we've done, but I love that you're keeping your eye just straight.
13:57I don't think we could do this without you.
13:59To be fair, you've yet to prove that you can do it with it.
14:02What do you think your role is in this show?
14:04And then what if greenie green could go here?
14:07There's no long L shape is the problem.
14:10That's the problem?
14:10I think there's probably a series of problems.
14:13When's lunch?
14:14I'm going to get a coffee and then come back and what would you like?
14:17What coffees?
14:17So a flat white.
14:18Yeah.
14:19Maybe triple shot espresso.
14:21Triple shot espresso?
14:22We've got to get this done.
14:23Okay.
14:23Yeah, it looks like a flat white.
14:25Yeah.
14:25That would be the triple espresso.
14:27Probably.
14:27I mean, what even is a square?
14:29Yeah.
14:30Like, E equals MC squared.
14:31Has anyone actually really road tested that?
14:33Wait.
14:34What if we go...
14:35Put a pit in that for a second.
14:36Yeah.
14:36Let's come back to that idea, but Aaron might have worked it out.
14:39Like this there.
14:40He's just jazzing at the moment.
14:43Let's get a moment.
14:44Cue the stirring music.
14:45And then if you put the purple block and then I'll put the green in the middle there.
14:49Yes!
14:50Hold my coffee, thanks Tom.
14:52I've got work to do, mate.
14:55Yeah!
15:02I hate to say I told you so, but the Muppets delivered.
15:06And I must say, I've never seen a group take so long to do a task that they had a
15:10coffee break in the middle.
15:12You spent nine minutes not adding or moving any blocks, just talking about whether to get a pepperoni or supreme
15:18pizza while waiting for your coffee.
15:20And I still reckon pepperoni.
15:23Peter, you seem quite confused with basic shapes.
15:27And then you thought from that position you could launch into questioning E equals MC squared.
15:32It's not my strength.
15:34You know, I know basic stuff.
15:35I know H2O is water, but I thought CO2 was cordial.
15:38Like that's...
15:40That's where I'm...
15:42That's where I'm at.
15:43That's where I'm at.
15:45Aaron, did I hear you get a triple shot?
15:48Yeah.
15:48What's a...
15:48Do you get a triple shot all the time?
15:49No, just to get through this day.
15:52Um...
15:53Well, you think that the challenge is putting the blocks together, but it's dealing with these guys.
15:58They are hard work.
16:01I've also got a list of a few compliments.
16:03Aaron to Pete, you're a nice bastard.
16:08Pete to Aaron, you should have hosted Fisk.
16:16Pete to Rhys, I like the way you took control of our pizza order.
16:19Because I don't think the production took it seriously for a while there.
16:23Until you were like, no, we want pizza.
16:28Pete to Aaron, I'm a bit worried if we have coffee and pizza, I might shit my pants.
16:36Alright, well I need to come up with a score.
16:38Well, if we remember correctly, Conchetta and Mel took 18 minutes and 5 seconds.
16:42The Muppets took 52 minutes and 15 seconds.
16:47I think Ernie and Bert obviously win 5 points each.
16:53And the Muppets get 2-2-2.
16:55Alright, hit us with another task.
16:58This next task deploys a device that I relate to.
17:00It hovers around and has an SD card inside it that's very hard to get out.
17:20Hi, Tom.
17:21Hi, Rhys.
17:22How are you doing?
17:23I'm OK.
17:23Yeah.
17:24Holy smokes.
17:27This for me?
17:28Great.
17:29I was hoping this would be it.
17:30Film the most emotional scene on this drone.
17:33You must not get closer than 5 metres from the drone during drone scene filming.
17:40Most emotional drone scene wins.
17:43You have 60 minutes.
17:44Your time starts now.
17:48Never filmed an emotional drone scene before.
17:51Really?
17:51Yeah, never.
17:51I think you'll betray me and I'll have to murder you and then go outside and mourn.
17:57Thank you for saying that my death would be a horrific tragedy.
17:59In the film.
18:01Do you like drones these days used for a lot of property videos?
18:05Like real estate.
18:06Real estate videos.
18:07What are some of the huge emotional moments in life?
18:09You lose something.
18:11For charity.
18:12Wallet in.
18:13Wallet in.
18:13Phone.
18:14Imagine losing your phone.
18:15Losing your phone.
18:16Wow.
18:17Do you think you could play a guy who's cheated on me?
18:19Oh, I'm actually quite loyal but I'll...
18:21Remember that very powerful scene in Saving Private Ryan.
18:25I haven't seen it.
18:27Okay.
18:28Can we just do a bit of improv now?
18:30Okay.
18:31Like maybe I'll...
18:31Hey.
18:32Who is she?
18:34Her name's Emma.
18:35You're just gonna say her name?
18:37Yeah.
18:37That poor.
18:38She's awesome.
18:39What's your strongest European language?
18:42I did a year of German in year eight.
18:45Me too.
18:46Is this our first idea?
18:47Could we go better?
18:50No, there's nothing more important in life than your phone.
18:52Ich habe eine große Hose schoner.
18:56Hose schoner.
18:58What's that?
18:59Trousersnake.
19:01That's gonna be the first line of the film.
19:04Okay.
19:04Yeah.
19:10So we've got quite a range there.
19:12Pete thought it'd be like very emotional if you lost your sons in a war.
19:16And Mel, you thought it'd be emotional if you lost your phone.
19:20Stand by that.
19:21Because I've had to choose between getting my son out of the bath or maybe dropping my
19:26phone in the bath.
19:27And oh, I took a bit too long to make that choice.
19:31Okay.
19:32Whose drone are we gonna look at first?
19:34You can catch her droning on the airwaves every morning.
19:36It's Conchetta Caristo.
19:38Today's the day.
19:39He's gonna propose.
19:40I can feel it.
19:42Oh, Emma.
19:43Oh, Emma.
19:44Take the moment in, Conchetta.
19:46It's happening.
19:47Oh, it's so naughty.
19:49Mwah, mwah.
19:50He's been sneaking around and trying to find the perfect ring.
19:53I love sexting you on my iPad.
19:56So soak it up, babe.
19:59Here's to forever.
20:02Take the moment in, Conchetta.
20:05It's happening.
20:06Hi, babe.
20:07Hi, Conchetta.
20:09I missed you.
20:10Conchetta.
20:12Yeah?
20:14Found this dog shit on the ground.
20:16I thought you'd like it.
20:19You don't know me at all.
20:26Do you often offer women dog shit?
20:30I would like to say that Conchetta scripted that scene.
20:33Were you worried people would watch that and think it was all true?
20:36I think my concern wasn't that people would think it was true, but it was more that they would think
20:40I was doing stuff that I'd done before, like kissing a mannequin repeatedly.
20:44You kissing the mannequin wasn't that disturbing, because I felt pretty sure you'd never done that before.
20:50Whereas I felt that, Conchetta, you have sat in a bathtub looking at a mirror of yourself.
20:54Was that based on your life?
20:56Yeah, that's a self-care Sunday.
21:00Alright, more drone take me higher, lesser Tom.
21:03It would be my dream.
21:05Here's Rhys Nicholson.
21:10G'day.
21:11I'm Tom, from Cashman, Cashman and Cashman Real Estate.
21:14We're here at the Taskmaster Retreat.
21:15It's a three-better.
21:22How's this for negative, Gary?
21:29Yes.
21:42Catharsis.
22:03Ketthatha.
22:05You're a millennial
22:06and you're complaining about real estate prices.
22:08How did you come up with this unique opinion?
22:11I think that I looked at everyone's life
22:14from my parents and before that and thought
22:16f***
22:18Right. But don't
22:20you own a house? Yeah, I own two
22:22Yeah, so
22:24So you're just cynically trying to be down
22:26with your generation when really your generation
22:28is called your tenants
22:33Alright, time
22:34for some ads. Why not call your local
22:36real estate agent and check in on them
22:38We'll be back soon with more Hi
22:39intense blades flying close to
22:42underinsured comedians' faces
22:53Welcome back to Taskmaster
22:55So far we've seen comedians using a drone
22:57to film tragically depressing things
22:59like a breakup or catharsis
23:01or lesser Tom's face
23:03Who's next? There's a lot of buzz around her
23:05at the moment. It's probably the aerial filming
23:07equipment. Here's Mel Buttle
23:10Oh my phone's
23:11My phone's not in my pocket. Um
23:13Oh it might be the car. I'll check the car
23:22It's not in the car
23:24It's not in the car
23:26My phone's not in the car
23:27Which means it's
23:29It fell in the bar
23:32Come back to me baby
23:33Baby come back. Come on, come on
23:35It wasn't that much water
23:37Let me blow in your hole
23:39I'm gonna need rice
23:40I'm gonna need 500 grams of white rice
23:43Does anyone have anything?
23:45It's not insured
23:47It's not in the car
23:49Ha ha ha
23:50Ah
23:51Ah
23:59Powerful
23:59Very emotional
24:00Thank you
24:01To be fair
24:01even though it was a trivial problem
24:02and I felt the emotion was real.
24:04It's very real, Tom.
24:05Can I just say, Mel, and I love you,
24:07but you were like, this girl was raised by her phone.
24:10Yeah, I know.
24:10And then your whole thing was about your phone.
24:12Yeah, but I've got two degrees, so it's different.
24:16Is the name of that film Nobody Had Rice?
24:19Because that's a tragedy in my culture as well.
24:27Thank you, Aaron, for saying a joke
24:29that none of us could have said.
24:38Who have we got next, then?
24:39He's done a lot of work on air, but can he work up in the air?
24:42The answer is up in the air.
24:43Here's Aaron Chan.
24:51I have a big bag.
24:54Good, good.
24:57Now, that's business.
24:591, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
25:07Yeah.
25:09Das British Spy.
25:12Wie geht's?
25:13Specken Sie English.
25:17Das Target.
25:26Ja!
25:34Hallo, just.
25:35Mein, mein Großvater?
25:38Ja, ja.
25:40Das, das ist nicht Deutscher?
25:43Was ist das?
25:44Deutschlandmehl, Klassik-Deutschlandmehl.
25:47Nein, das ist nicht Wiener.
25:48Das ist nicht Berliner.
25:50Du bist Traitor.
25:53Nein, nein, nein.
25:54Move your German.
25:56Oh.
25:58Oh.
25:59You can't.
26:01Achtung!
26:04So, was?
26:06Hey, durch dran.
26:07Oh, no.
26:11Oh, meine Katze, das ist sehr gefährlich.
26:16Das ist nicht gut.
26:32So, I feel like there was not so much German, but there was a lot of English.
26:35Which, um, it was a co-production between two nations.
26:40Can I say, the other people often would give me a script of what to say.
26:45Aaron refused to give me a script.
26:47And said, you just have to improvise using all the German you know.
26:52Okay, one more drone scene left.
26:55Can he get more emotional than when he realised he actually had to finish a puzzle earlier?
26:59Yeah, it's Peter Hellyer.
27:06It's Peter Hellyer.
27:07Hello, hello.
27:09I'm Mrs. Ryan.
27:10Hello, Mrs. Ryan.
27:11Are you from the Army?
27:12Yes.
27:13That's a coincidence.
27:14I have four sons currently serving in World War II.
27:18Mm.
27:19Is that a letter for me, for my sons, on my birthday?
27:24Sorry.
27:25Which is also on Mother's Day.
27:26Don't be sorry.
27:27This is the happiest day of my life.
27:29That's why I'm wearing my happy clothes.
27:32Oh.
27:34What?
27:35What are my sons'...
27:37No!
27:41So emotional.
27:43Well, at least I have three more sons.
27:47Oh, this is a...
27:51Not another one.
27:52No!
27:54I'm so emotional.
27:57At least I have two more sons.
27:59Sorry.
28:00What?
28:05What the...
28:07No!
28:12This is the worst day I've had in a long time.
28:16It's very emotional.
28:18You've had the worst days?
28:18I've had...
28:19Yes, I'm a big sports fan.
28:20Oh.
28:21Sometimes my team loses.
28:23Sorry.
28:24What?
28:25This is from my fourth son.
28:28Oh, don't tell me.
28:29Do not tell me.
28:30Like, not all...
28:32Oh, it's a foxtail bill.
28:34220 bucks!
28:36No!
28:40So emotional!
28:41So emotional!
28:47It was a very emotional scene, Pete.
28:49It was.
28:50It was a hard scene to shoot.
28:51It took a while.
28:53The crew, there wasn't a dry eye.
28:55Even the audience, they're all...
28:56Don't...
28:57Don't...
28:57Don't show them.
28:59I don't want you to show them, but they are all...
29:01They're all crying.
29:02And also, I felt like you frocking up, it really kind of delivered on your 90s comedy roots.
29:08Yes.
29:09You know, I've always been inspired by the footy show.
29:13All right, well, I think that some delivered on the emotion more strongly than others.
29:17I feel like Reese's...
29:18It was pandering to the masses by trying to tap into the current housing crisis, so I'm giving you one.
29:23Is there a housing crisis?
29:27Aaron, I'm giving two points too.
29:28It was an emotional film, but the emotion I felt was boredom.
29:32I'm giving three points to Conchetta because I felt those emotions were real, but weirdly not as real as Mel's
29:38emotion about missing a phone.
29:40So Mel gets four.
29:41And Peter Helley, of course, he made me feel happy with some old school comedy, gets five points.
29:51Okay, while remote controls are essential to operate drones, when it comes to ones for television, it's poor form to
29:57touch them at times like this.
29:59See you after some advertising.
30:11Welcome back to Taskmaster.
30:13We're not even two episodes into the season, and Pete Hellyer's already put on a dress.
30:18Would you like a score update?
30:19Ah, yes.
30:20So currently, we have Reese in last place on seven points, but Mel Buttle is currently in the lead with
30:2412 points.
30:28Have you got another task?
30:30Sure do.
30:30I would like to apologise to all these supernatural women whose headgear we used for this next one.
30:54Very interesting.
30:59Tom?
31:02Okay.
31:07Crack the seal on another one.
31:09Hide these ten witch's hats on a Taskmaster retreat.
31:12You have ten minutes to hide them.
31:14Tom will then have ten minutes to search for them.
31:18Most witch's hats remaining hidden after Tom's search wins.
31:20Time starts now.
31:21Hide ten.
31:28Interesting approach there, Aaron.
31:30Your first thought was to run away from the witch's hats.
31:33I thought I had to hide from them.
31:37All right, this seems pretty straightforward.
31:39A game of cone, hide and seek.
31:41Who are we seeing first?
31:43It's easy to tell which is which, but which is better at hiding witch's hats?
31:46Conchetta or Pete?
31:51Before you see that straight away, I'll come back for that.
31:53Oh, that's too heavy.
31:55See ya.
31:55Come on.
32:00Okay.
32:01You've just one at a time.
32:03I bought that idea.
32:07Shit.
32:11Oh, God.
32:12So unfit.
32:14He's going to look in the shed straight away.
32:16Behind the shed.
32:20Oh, God.
32:22Okay.
32:22It's running.
32:25Right in there.
32:28Good luck, mate.
32:31Good luck.
32:35Wyatt.
32:36I heard him back here.
32:38There's one.
32:40I've spotted three cones.
32:41Where are the others?
32:42I don't know.
32:43There's a fourth.
32:44There's two.
32:45Not even hidden at all.
32:46There's one on the roof.
32:47How'd you see that?
32:48I found three.
32:48There's a fifth one.
32:49Where did you put the other cones?
32:51Over here.
32:52That means it's down here.
32:53There's a sixth one.
32:55I found three.
32:56Three more.
32:57I found six in total.
33:00Seven.
33:01There's another one.
33:03Eighth one.
33:03Spotted.
33:04That's an eighth one.
33:05There's two more.
33:08Oh.
33:11The task's over, Pete.
33:13I found eight.
33:14Well done.
33:15Blow your whistle.
33:17Blow it.
33:19Blow it.
33:20Okay.
33:20Six seconds left.
33:21Five, four, three, two, one.
33:25Good stuff, Pete.
33:26You really eluded me with the two.
33:35Three, two, one.
33:37Boop.
33:38That wasn't a whistle.
33:39Good stuff, Pete.
33:40Good stuff.
33:40That wasn't a whistle.
33:41It wasn't a whistle.
33:54It wasn't a whistle.
33:56There it is.
33:57Oh.
33:58Mate, I was doing my best.
34:00Yeah, right.
34:00You were trying to open it.
34:01I was trying.
34:02Why did you live through here?
34:03I literally was running nonstop, and I couldn't fit them in.
34:07Okay.
34:07You just get to prance around like a little fairy, but I'm literally doing manual labor.
34:11Are you trying your side?
34:12Yeah, I was trying on my side.
34:23Were you?
34:24You happened to be running.
34:26Didn't pay off.
34:27I wish I had thought about locking Tom in a room earlier.
34:32I love in these little tasks just seeing what a true little psycho you are.
34:37Like, when you were going, that I was like, yeah.
34:44I'd been given a task to find as many as I could, and I took that seriously.
34:48I feel like we got an insight into what you look like, Pete, on bin night.
34:51You were running around in a panic, throwing shit in all different directions.
34:56Now, Conchetta, you implied that his job's very easy,
34:59unlike you, who was doing manual labour.
35:01Is that what you think manual labour is?
35:04No, seriously, Tom, they were so heavy.
35:08Like, for it to be equal, you should wear cement blocks around your feet.
35:12So it seemed like a really hard job from the basis that you work at Triple J.
35:20For both Pete and Conchetta, I found eight of the ten cones.
35:23All right, let's see, Tom, who's next?
35:25It's the two contestants who are most frustrated by my presence throughout the series.
35:28Will they thrive in my absence? It's Mel and Rhys.
35:36Where did you put the cones?
35:37What? What?
35:39Hi, Tom.
35:40Two cones up there.
35:42Maybe, I don't know, I'm not sure where they are.
35:44Where did you put the other cones?
35:45I can't remember.
35:47You'll never guess.
36:00I didn't see it.
36:11Third time.
36:24I'm trying to think where you'd put them.
36:30Oh, shit.
36:32That's not what we want at all.
36:34Well, I'm finding that one.
36:42Fourth time.
36:43Would you like to give me a hint?
36:44Um, they're orange and they're about that big.
36:47Yeah, I knew that.
36:47Quick, go.
36:47Quick sticks.
36:49Yeah, I knew that.
37:01What do you want to do?
37:02I have no idea.
37:04I know.
37:05Oh, good boy.
37:10Don't, don't, don't.
37:11No.
37:12That's a cone.
37:15That's two.
37:16You're doing so well, Tom.
37:18I haven't even found half of them.
37:25About a minute, I reckon.
37:38Found two.
37:39Good boy.
37:41You think I'm too smart.
37:42I just hear them really dumb places.
37:44Like where?
37:46Up your butt.
37:48Oh.
37:48We've got to swap jobs, haven't we?
37:50Yeah.
37:50A little bit.
37:51I can't let you know how you've done because my job's just to administer the task.
37:55Bye, Tom.
37:56Thanks, Rhys.
38:00I'm surprised you didn't find more of Rhys's cones since they were so close to home.
38:06And by that I mean up your arse.
38:09I got them up there pretty far.
38:10I'm not sure the task went as you planned, Lesser Tom.
38:14There were so many of you that you just walked by.
38:16I know, I'm sorry.
38:17Did a man look, didn't you?
38:25Now, Rhys, I see your strategy of hiding the cones work well for you, unlike Pete's,
38:29where you just throw them in a ditch.
38:31I was so puffed by the end of it.
38:33To watch that footage would be quite troubling for me, I think, because I was muttering to
38:36myself like I was burying a backpacker.
38:38Like it was...
38:44I've never said that before and I never will again.
38:51Mel, were you tempted to tell Tom where the cones were when he asked?
38:54No, not once.
38:55No.
38:56No, I hated the maggot.
39:01So, what are the stats?
39:03Mel, I found five.
39:04And for Rhys, I only found two out of ten cones.
39:10OK.
39:11It's time for an ad break.
39:12If you don't want to watch the ads, pay for a streaming version of this.
39:16If you don't want to pay for the streaming version, watch it on YouTube.
39:19I don't give a shit.
39:20Back soon.
39:31Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:33Before the break, we saw Rhys and Mel are really good at cones.
39:37I wonder what that says about their teenage years.
39:39All right, next contestant, please.
39:41Can he make these high-vis cones low-vis?
39:44It's Aaron Chen.
39:52Hey, how are you doing?
39:54Why did I do that?
40:01What are you doing, Aaron?
40:04Aaron?
40:05Hi, Tom.
40:06How are you, man?
40:08I'm all right.
40:08Are you locking me in here?
40:09I'm just hiding cones, mainly.
40:11Oh, OK.
40:13How much longer, Tom?
40:1535 seconds.
40:16Getting pretty worried.
40:19You know?
40:31Hi, Aaron.
40:40There's one.
40:41I had a lot of time to hide that.
40:43It's two.
40:46There's three.
40:47Double cone.
40:48That's four.
40:48Where did you hide the cones?
40:49You broke the door, mate.
40:51You broke the door.
40:52So it's property damage.
40:53You put a lock on it.
40:54Oh, oh.
40:55Oh, my God.
40:56Did he fall?
40:57Yes!
40:58Oh, God.
40:59Oh, my God.
41:03I hope you're not OK.
41:04Did you hide any down here?
41:06Yep.
41:06Heaps.
41:07One, two, three, four, five.
41:09Five spotted.
41:10Only one remaining.
41:11All this happened for no reason.
41:13Yeah, you broke property as well.
41:14Stop focusing on the property.
41:16Sorry, do you guys mind calling the owners?
41:19Because there's been a bit of property damage.
41:23How'd you go?
41:25Nine out of ten.
41:26You put a padlock on the shed?
41:27Yeah, to make sure that the property was secure.
41:30It wasn't very secure, though, was it?
41:32See you later, mate.
41:33I'm OK with it, but I don't know.
41:35They probably won't be able to show you some of that footage
41:37because of certain crimes being committed.
41:39It could actually be bad for your reputation.
41:43Thanks, Aaron.
41:48Aaron, you went from cat-got-the-cream
41:50to humble-bye very quickly.
41:52How long did you think you were going to keep him in there for?
41:54I thought it was secure.
41:57But it wasn't even the padlock that broke,
42:00it was the hinge itself.
42:01That's why I was saying it's property damage.
42:03When we left the property, we informed the owners
42:05and they said, oh, yeah, that's been faulty for a while,
42:07that's fine.
42:09So it was an inside job.
42:12LAUGHTER
42:15I think we were all very pleased
42:17to see you make Lesser Tom slip over.
42:19LAUGHTER
42:20I feel like an extra point might be allocated there, Lesser Tom.
42:22I really enjoyed watching you fall on your face.
42:25LAUGHTER
42:25For Aaron, I found nine.
42:27So Reece should get five, Mel should get four.
42:29How many points are we giving Pete and Conchetta?
42:31Pete and Conchetta maybe should get three each.
42:33OK.
42:34To leave room for...
42:35Well, Aaron's normally last on one,
42:37but he did make you slip over, so he gets two.
42:38Gotcha.
42:42All right, it's almost time for our live task,
42:44but first, what does our scoreboard look like overall, Lesser Tom?
42:47With 16 points, Mel is our current top dog.
42:50CHEERING
42:54Let's get upstairs for the final task of the show.
42:57CHEERING
43:01All right, Lesser Tom, what are we doing now?
43:03Pete, read the task, please.
43:05Be humble as pie about your pie.
43:08Each contestant will have 15 seconds to be humble about their pie.
43:14Least humble about their pie will be eliminated.
43:17The first speaker will begin on Tom's whistle.
43:21Ready, set.
43:24Ooh, God, the pastry's a bit affordable.
43:27It's made from margarine, not butter, and it's not very brown,
43:29but, um...
43:30Well, I'm still...
43:31It's the best I've got.
43:32It's the best I can do, and I'm about to...
43:37Yeah, um, it's OK.
43:40You know, it's not as good as my mum's or my nan's
43:43or my great-grandfather who fought in the war at Gallipoli,
43:45and they used to make...
43:47They used to make pies, but that's about it.
43:50Pincetta.
43:53Hey, I would love you to have this,
43:56but I, like, I know I look fancy,
43:58but I don't know what I'm doing.
43:59Like, I'm a loser, and you're so cool.
44:04Breeze.
44:09There's just so many good birds that I could have chosen.
44:12These don't even like good shiny shit.
44:14It's just...
44:16Ready, Aaron?
44:20Well, man, yeah, this is...
44:22It's cut...
44:23It's just...
44:24It's a number, you know?
44:25I mean, like, forget about it.
44:28Yeah, it sucks.
44:32The least humble was Aaron Chen.
44:34He very arrogantly threw his pie on the ground.
44:37I didn't realise it could break.
44:40No, could you read this one, please?
44:43Be keen as mustard about your mustard.
44:46Your keenness starts now.
44:48Oh, my God, it's awesome.
44:49It's in powder form, dude.
44:51Like, you can go like this, and it's like...
44:53Yeah, and you can be like...
44:54Woo!
44:55And, like, it's awesome.
44:56I want you to play with it, Tom.
44:57And you can have some of you get in it.
44:59Oh, no, it's shy.
45:01But, yes!
45:02Yes!
45:04Yes!
45:05That is the chemical formula for mustard gas.
45:25Mel.
45:29Oh, wowie, look at the...
45:30Oh, my God, I want to get in there.
45:31I want to lick that.
45:32I want to rip that off.
45:33Oh, jeez, Louise, that is some good...
45:36I want to touch it.
45:37Oh, that's...
45:37That's...
45:39Hit.
45:41Oh, yes.
45:42Oh, oh!
45:45Oh, God.
45:46Oh.
45:48Oh.
45:52I don't think Rhys was keen.
45:54I just seemed terrified.
45:59Thank you, Sean.
46:00Be cool as a cucumber about your cucumber.
46:04Oh, damn.
46:05That's lit as fam.
46:06Wicked.
46:08Well, what's the dealio?
46:11Um...
46:11Stop blowing up my phone with SMSs.
46:14Um...
46:14Stop tweeting me!
46:16Pete.
46:18All right, whatever.
46:19Cool.
46:20You know, it's cool.
46:20It's good.
46:21Whatever.
46:21I don't care.
46:22I'll just, you know, just go for a bit of it.
46:25Oh, God.
46:27Oh, God.
46:28Oh, God.
46:29Oh, God.
46:30Oh, God.
46:31Oh, God.
46:32Oh, God.
46:32Oh, God.
46:33Oh, yeah.
46:34This whole thing.
46:35This thing rides a motorcycle.
46:37And, you know, it's like, I don't even care.
46:41Like...
46:44I can't lie to Pete.
46:45He was the least cool before he even tried.
46:47That's fine.
46:50Maybe this please...
46:52Be smooth as silk about your silk.
46:55Smoothest wins.
46:57No.
46:59What's up, G?
47:00You come here often?
47:02There, Mommy.
47:03You woo-hoo.
47:04Oh.
47:06Mm-mm.
47:06Did you just walk in here looking like this?
47:08Oh.
47:09Wow.
47:09Heaven is missing an angel.
47:13Oh, B.
47:15Oh, baby doll, the way you make me feel, you nasty girl, you, you a smooth, smooth.
47:34Given my wife and children watch this show, Mel was the smoothest.
47:39Thank you, Tom.
47:41OK, the contestants have to walk from up there to down here and it takes just long enough
47:45for us to wedge in an ad break.
47:47See you soon.
47:57Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:59We're about to find out who the best comedian is of all time in Australia on this channel
48:05in this episode tonight.
48:07But before we do that, who won the live task, Tom?
48:10Well, Aaron took away a cool one point.
48:12Reece, a smooth two.
48:13Pete, a keen three.
48:14Conchetta, a humble four.
48:16And Mel took it out with a spicy five points.
48:20OK, now what we really want to know, who will be leaving the show tonight with that horrible,
48:26horrible, captivating gnome?
48:28Well, Aaron was in last place with 12 points.
48:30Pete and Reece in third, equal on 14 points.
48:33Conchetta, second with 17 points.
48:35And Mel, way out in front with blackjack, 21 points.
48:42Congratulations, Mel.
48:43Head up on stage and collect your bounty of cheeky, crapping boxes.
48:49At lesser Tom, what's our season scoreboard looking like?
48:52Well, there are only three points between all of them.
48:54So it's neck and neck and neck and neck and neck and neck.
48:57With Conchetta in the lead with 32 points this season.
49:04OK, and that brings us to the end of another episode of Taskmaster.
49:08We've learned Aaron definitely doesn't sprechen any Deutsch.
49:12And we've learned that professional comedian Tom Cashman
49:15is at his funniest when face planting into mud.
49:19Now let's learn how Mel Buttle will enjoy their prizes.
49:23See you next week!
49:38Fuck!
49:39That's it!
49:40No!
49:41I'm in your freaking mind.
49:42Is there any part of your personality that's not Italian?
49:47Nice whistle, bitch!
49:49You need to use this paddle to hit a koala.
49:51Yeah, I guess what I'm hoping for at this stage
49:53is the others have f***ed up their task.
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