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Taskmaster Au S01E03
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00:12This is the best day of my life.
00:34Yes, hello, welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:37My name is Tom Gleeson and I am the aforementioned Taskmaster.
00:41For all those seeking entertainment, you've come to the right place.
00:44For those sickos amongst you who specifically take joy from seeing comedians humiliating
00:50themselves while earnestly trying their best, all while trying to win a golden replica of
00:55my large head, good news, that's kind of our whole deal.
01:00Oh, wow, it's lovely, isn't it?
01:03Competing for glory in our first season, we have four of Australia's finest comedians
01:07and one former children's TV host reinventing himself as a bad boy.
01:13Every time! Every time!
01:15They are Daniel Walker, Jimmy Rees, Julia Morris, Lee McGregor and Nina Ryama.
01:25Being a Taskmaster is a full-time job, one that I do for about 10 days a year.
01:30It means I don't have time for things like admin.
01:34I leave that to my humble assistant.
01:36We have the same name, so just to clear things up, I'm Main Tom and he's Lesser Tom.
01:43It's Tom Cashman.
01:48I'm personally just happy I'm not leased Tom.
01:51It's time for some dreaded admin, so take it away, Lesser Tom.
01:55So our first task is a prize task.
01:58Each of our contestants have been asked to bring in a prize.
02:00The best one will receive five points, second best four points and so on.
02:03And then the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
02:07Okay.
02:08What have they brought in tonight?
02:09Tonight they've been asked to bring in the thing they'd most like to be buried with.
02:15I love a bit of coffin accoutrement, so let's start with Julia Morris.
02:19What would you take with you?
02:21I would like to take a really big lighter because I just want to be dust.
02:27I can't go in the whole ground with that stuff eating me.
02:31And here is the lighter.
02:35Okay, so you're in the coffin with the lighter and then you bury it.
02:38Who lights you?
02:40That's a really good question.
02:42Do I have to be buried?
02:44Yeah, that was kind of part of it, wasn't it?
02:47You could argue it's the whole thing.
02:49All right, I appreciate your sentiment, but I'm pretty sure if you go to a crematorium,
02:52they don't just get a bick and singe your edges.
02:55There's a little curtain, you wouldn't know what goes on behind there.
02:58You think there's a person behind the curtain with a bick going,
03:00all right, here we go.
03:01I think there's heaps of people with lots of bicks.
03:04A guard of honour.
03:05A guard of honour with all...
03:06They've all got bicks.
03:07Yes, farewell.
03:07Showing their respect while they singe your edges.
03:10Don't make me cry, Tom.
03:11That's beautiful.
03:12Okay.
03:13Nina?
03:14I would like to be buried with some worms.
03:18Yeah.
03:19And why is that?
03:20I thought it would be a funny prank on some worms in the ground if I already pre-wormed
03:24myself.
03:26And so then, like, the worms in the ground would try and move into my body and then there
03:30would be some worms already there being like, no, like, get away from my house.
03:34And then they'd have a turf war over my dead body.
03:37Oh, right.
03:38Okay, so I quite like that one.
03:40What about you, Jimmy?
03:42Well, you didn't really specify if you were alive or dead, so I'd just take my phone,
03:46call for help and be done.
03:47And be out.
03:54I thought you'd take your phone so you could do some viral TikTok videos in the afterlife.
03:59There'd be time for that, wouldn't there?
04:00Yeah.
04:02Did we mention whether you had to be dead or alive?
04:04No, we didn't.
04:05It's simply the thing they'd most like to be buried with.
04:08Looking back, I should have said Brad Pitt.
04:11I was...
04:13It's true!
04:14Danielle, what would you like to be buried with?
04:16I bought a treasure map.
04:18Well, because I thought it would be fun for somebody to dig me up and then be sent to
04:24a wild goose chase for some treasure.
04:28I'm just a bit of a prankster.
04:30All right, so this is a more detailed prank than Nina's, which I quite like.
04:33I feel like, is the treasure near you, or...?
04:35No, no, no, it's wherever.
04:36This map I found on the internet.
04:40I've been there.
04:41It's actually a Hungry Jack's.
04:45Luke, what do you have for us?
04:47Mine's similar to Jimmy's.
04:49Mine's sort of practical, but I was worried about battery life and not having reception.
04:53So, if I get buried and I happen to be still alive, I brought a shovel.
05:02It's also good, because if I find Danielle's map, I can dig for the treasure.
05:07Okay.
05:08How do you picture that working out?
05:10In practicality, you're underground, you're alive, you've got your shovel.
05:12Yeah, I was thinking that, because if I'm buried with a shovel in the coffin, I actually
05:15need to get out of that first before I, um...
05:18And you can imagine what an idiot I'd feel once I'm inside the coffin with the shovel
05:22going...
05:23Of all the things.
05:24Yeah, I didn't think this through enough.
05:25Because once I'm out of the coffin, I'm home free.
05:28But actually getting out is a problem.
05:30So, yeah, I admit there are flaws.
05:35I must say, I think this is really hard to score, because they're all equally a bit shit-house.
05:40I think I'm going to have to put Julia last with a lighter, because, first of all, it wouldn't
05:43really cremate you, and also, it's just very small, quite boring.
05:46I think Jimmy with a phone as well.
05:49What?
05:49I think it's a good idea, if you're buried alive, to have a phone, but I think Luke was
05:53exactly right.
05:54There'd be no reception.
05:55Nina?
05:55I mean, I did like the prank, but again, worms is probably the first thing you think of
05:59when you think of being buried.
06:00So, you're on three points.
06:01Luke with a shovel, and Danielle, five points for the pirate treasure map.
06:08Now, these scores aren't for nothing.
06:10We're tallying them across the whole season.
06:12Tom Cashman, how do things stand in the race for my golden noggin?
06:17Winning the season so far, it's Danielle on 37 points.
06:23Right.
06:25I'm ready for the first task, Lester Tom.
06:27All right.
06:28Don't forget, everyone, when you go outside, it's important to flip, flop, flap.
06:47Hello, Tom.
06:48Tom.
06:51Oh, what do we get here?
06:52Okay, that's not something you normally see on a table.
06:56Okay, here we go, sir.
06:59Oh.
07:05Fly this thong the furthest.
07:08The furthest thong wins.
07:09You have 20 minutes.
07:11Your time starts now.
07:14Okay.
07:15Thong flight.
07:16What are you thinking?
07:17I'm thinking that I got a small food stain on my flight suit over lunch, and I'm embarrassed
07:22to stand up.
07:23Oh, right.
07:24Where is the stain?
07:26It's here and here.
07:27That's shameful to you?
07:28I don't know if the camera can even see it, but let's go fly this thong.
07:36It's a pretty simple task.
07:38What's the furthest you've flown a thong, Tom Cashman?
07:41Probably in my luggage to Europe in 2011.
07:44I went backpacking with a few friends and my ex-girlfriend at the time, and yeah, looking
07:48back, it was probably one of the best times of my life.
07:52Is that it?
07:54I don't care, yeah?
07:57All right, shall we watch some thongs take flight?
08:00One of them fears the beach.
08:02The other is wearing a thong right now.
08:03It's Luke and Jimmy.
08:07What about some sort of, like, catapult launching device?
08:11Mm.
08:12Like a...
08:13So the plan is, you stand there with a quicker bat.
08:16Okay.
08:17And then I'll throw the thong.
08:18Okay.
08:19And then with the bat, you hit it even further, so it's still technically in the air.
08:23Okay.
08:23How accurate do you think you can be?
08:25Don't worry about me, buddy.
08:26You worry about your bat.
08:27I am worried.
08:29Okay, well, worry...
08:29Okay, I'll worry about...
08:30Okay, well, yeah, I'm worried as well.
08:32I'm going to try this first, and then I'll just hoik it as far as I can.
08:38Okay, that's okay.
08:40Oh!
08:42How far do you think that is?
08:43I'm going to say, like, 11 basketballers standing on each other's heads and lying down.
08:48Okay.
08:4811.
08:4911 what?
08:5011 Jimmy steps.
08:51Okay.
08:52Okay, buddy.
08:53I'm pretty confident we can do it in one.
08:54Here we go.
09:02I'm going to throw it, aren't I?
09:04That's going to be the furthest.
09:06This is going to work.
09:07I'm going to move this.
09:08I think, I think this was the problem.
09:14Like, I like the catapult idea, but maybe I just need a...
09:17Whoa!
09:19Nope.
09:20Oh, okay.
09:22Okay.
09:24Oh, no, I farted at the same time.
09:25I'm sorry, I put myself up, because I farted at the same time.
09:29I wonder how far I can javelin.
09:33That wasn't bad.
09:42Thanks, buddy.
09:43Hey, I'm tired, too.
09:44Throwing it is really hard.
09:45I'm fine.
09:46Don't slip on me.
09:48Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.
09:5030 seconds.
09:53Oh, no!
09:57I mean, that's a hit.
09:58It's shorter than the other.
10:00Yeah, that's a good point.
10:0211, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
10:11Oh!
10:17Yeah.
10:18Luke, did you ask Tom if he plays cricket?
10:20Tom, do you play cricket?
10:22No.
10:24So even if you could throw it accurately, which you couldn't,
10:29Tom probably couldn't hit it very far.
10:31Now that you bring it up, that would have been a good question to ask up top.
10:37Yeah.
10:38You kind of came to that conclusion, too, Jimmy.
10:40Do you think that just throwing it would have been better,
10:42rather than getting distracted?
10:43I attached it to a stupid oar, which was way heavier than the thong,
10:46and just tried to javelin it.
10:48I tried to become an Olympic javeliner, just like in 20 minutes,
10:52you know, and I wasted eight minutes trying to be an Olympic javeliner.
10:57Just quickly, what was the top hat for, Jimmy?
10:59I just thought I'd look...
11:01I was going to say cool doing it, but I think it enhanced my embarrassment.
11:06Jimmy managed to fly his thong 28.19 metres,
11:10implementing his chucking-while-bouncing method.
11:13Luke registered a flight of 40.38 metres.
11:20OK, it's time for a break.
11:21More unidentified flying Javianas will take to the skies when we return.
11:27APPLAUSE
11:37Hello again.
11:38Welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:40It's the third episode, and I'm getting the hang of it.
11:42Our contestants, hard to say.
11:45Quick reminder of the task in play, Tom Cashman.
11:47Well, the task is to fly a single thong as far as you can,
11:51while using whatever ingenious method you could come up with,
11:54using your limitless imagination,
11:55and so far, two of them have chucked it.
11:59Surely we can do better than that.
12:01You'd hope so.
12:02Much like a thong, these two keep you on your toes.
12:04It's Nina and Danielle.
12:09What have you got here?
12:10Oh, I've got the thong.
12:11OK.
12:12And I want to glue some googly eyes on it.
12:15Yep.
12:15If you have the time, why not make things slightly aesthetic?
12:20Mm.
12:20What I would like to do is put a heap of matches
12:23on the back of him, and then light them on fire.
12:26And then he'll fly.
12:27This is what we see.
12:29Nina, it's a pretty good effort to have, like,
12:30a little gold wing.
12:33I think it's aesthetic.
12:35He'll go out and go up to space, actually.
12:39I'm going to take him to space.
12:40Actually, he's going to go all the way to planet X,
12:42and then come back.
12:44I'm going to tie this rope to this guy.
12:49Yeah.
12:49That'll fully light on fire, right?
12:51What, 30 matches all bunched together?
12:54Yeah.
12:54Then I'm going to tie it to that tree.
12:57Then the gravity will make the thong go down.
13:00Right.
13:01So what knot is this?
13:02Well, I kind of just figured if I tied it a bunch around the tree.
13:08Yeah.
13:10I'm ready to go set him off.
13:11Okay.
13:13What's the plan here?
13:15Um, I'll light him on fire,
13:17and then that will help shoot him off like a rocket.
13:20Okay.
13:21I'm actually, like, shaking at the thought of doing this.
13:24Oh, there we go.
13:26All right.
13:27Are we ready to take flight?
13:31Oh, come on.
13:49Oh, wait.
13:50It's going down, sort of.
13:52Is it?
13:53All righty.
13:54There we go.
13:54Okay.
13:56And then he's off.
14:09Time's up.
14:11You've really burnt that.
14:13Yeah, don't read that in.
14:14That's sexually toxic.
14:18Danielle, I feel like if you were part of the NASA program
14:20and you had to put man on the moon,
14:22you'd be like, let's do craft.
14:24That's sort of what science is, I think.
14:26Oh, craft?
14:27You just get to light shit on fire and be like,
14:29oh, what's going to happen?
14:31Probably more fire.
14:33Are we going to accept CGI?
14:35How do we feel about that?
14:36I feel pretty good about it.
14:38If we're going to make the leap of CGI
14:40and pretend that your thong went to Planet X,
14:44first of all, we have to know Planet X exists.
14:46It does exist.
14:47Tom, it does exist, right?
14:49Not necessarily.
14:50What do you mean?
14:51Hey, this is just science.
14:52It's still a thing.
14:53Danielle, I hate to tell you,
14:55the scientific community thinks that Planet X
14:58is simply a hypothetical concept.
15:00Oh!
15:02So you pretended to make your thong go to a hypothetical concept.
15:06How far away is a hypothetical concept when you're pretending?
15:10Zero metres.
15:11Oh, OK.
15:14That's rough.
15:16Nina, do you think your string was, like, downhill or horizontal?
15:21Because it's a fine line between a flying fox
15:23and just hanging something on a clothesline.
15:27I also think there wasn't enough weight on the thong.
15:29Like, if the thong was weight...
15:30Like, maybe I should have jumped off with the thong.
15:34And I would have won and also died.
15:37Nina's flew 9.12 metres.
15:39OK.
15:40Let's wrap up this task with one more, shall we?
15:42We saved the best till last, or the worst.
15:44Actually, quite often, we do leave the worst till last.
15:48Let's find out which this one is.
15:49It's Julia Morris.
15:53Fly.
15:54Tom, Tom.
15:56OK.
15:57Do you know what I'm saying?
15:58No.
16:01In the fly.
16:03So now I can just go as far as I want.
16:05OK.
16:05And now it's flying.
16:07OK.
16:09Where are we going?
16:09See you later.
16:12I'm going to take you across country, babes.
16:15Watch out for your eyes.
16:17And it is technically flying.
16:19I'm not touching it.
16:20I think I'm going to go across country again, Tom.
16:23OK.
16:25All right, I'm still going.
16:27Woo!
16:27Didn't touch it.
16:28I tell you what, wish I was fitter.
16:31I want to go further, but I feel it's going to fall out of my fly.
16:37I'm still going.
16:38I think the running ruined it.
16:40Woo!
16:42I think the flock's going to flop.
16:45This is the...
16:46Ow!
16:53Was this genius or just loose word association?
16:56Oh, very, very loose.
16:59Yeah.
16:59Now, if you're looking for genius, you can go to any of these other people.
17:03Oh, I'm not on that location, because honestly, I've said it before and I'll say it again.
17:07Every single task that I did, I was just trying to make go quickly so we'd get an early mark.
17:12I really like that interpretation.
17:14I think that works.
17:15I think it can't be faulted, can it?
17:17It was in the fly.
17:19Would you like to know how far the thong travelled?
17:21Two hundred and sixty-nine metres.
17:24Wow!
17:25That means Danielle is on one point, Nina has two, Jimmy three, Luke on four, and the winner of the
17:30task is Julia with five points.
17:34I think this is a great point to ask, can we get an update on our scores thus far?
17:40The winner thus far in the episode is Luke with eight points.
17:43CHEERING
17:47Luke the dark horse, and by dark horse, I mean fair horse.
17:51Tom Cashman, give me another task.
17:53As you request.
17:54Here's our first team task of the season.
17:57Ooh.
18:12Hey there.
18:13Hey.
18:13Hello.
18:14How are you?
18:15Not too bad.
18:16Long time no see.
18:20Oh, hello, how are you?
18:22Hello.
18:23Sorry.
18:24I'm Julia.
18:25I'm Danielle, nice to meet you.
18:26Nice to see you, Danielle.
18:28Oh my God.
18:29Nina?
18:32Did you do that?
18:34No.
18:34Was that part of...
18:35Did you do that?
18:36Would you know a fun fact about today?
18:39Oh my God.
18:47Do we open the task now?
18:49I think we'll be mad if we don't.
18:50Let's all do it at the same time.
18:51Okay, okay, we should do it.
18:52Thank you, my sweet.
18:54No, no worries.
18:54Oh my God.
18:55Transform.
18:56Into.
18:56Triplets.
18:57Into twins.
18:58Most.
18:59Convincing.
19:00Transformation.
19:01Wow.
19:01It's my turn.
19:03Sorry.
19:04The most convincing transformation wins.
19:07You have 30 minutes.
19:08Transformation.
19:09Goes back to the start.
19:10You.
19:10We.
19:11Transform.
19:11No, we.
19:12Transformation.
19:13Wins.
19:13Time.
19:14Stats.
19:15Watch his finger.
19:16Watch what he does.
19:18Oh!
19:18He controls the timer.
19:20How come you're not...
19:20How come you're not...
19:21Now!
19:27I'm already getting improv troupe vibes from one of the teams
19:30and I don't care for it.
19:32We'll watch those teams transform right after this show
19:35temporarily transforms into a vessel for brands to flog their wares.
19:39See you after the ads.
19:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:52Welcome back to Taskmaster as five top-tier comedians battle to win
19:57a treasure map that leads to no money.
20:00Tom Cashman, vibe check.
20:02Oh, the vibes are pretty good.
20:05Basically, the task is to transform into twins or triplets
20:08and the best transformation wins.
20:10OK.
20:11Which team is transforming for us first?
20:13It's Julia and Danielle.
20:16Tom.
20:18I think you're going to play for this look.
20:20Oh, so I need a wig, I reckon.
20:21There we go.
20:22Yeah.
20:23Yeah, that's good.
20:24I mean, actually.
20:25We've got to do that thing where you, like,
20:26finish each other's sentences.
20:27Sentences.
20:28Yeah.
20:28Yes.
20:29Exactly.
20:31Perfect.
20:33And do you know what?
20:34What I'm loving?
20:34Just having the same thoughts at all times.
20:36Oh, yeah.
20:37Could you prove that you're having the same thought?
20:39Well, what I'm thinking about now is, um...
20:43Golden Retrievers.
20:45Yes.
20:45And you were both thinking that.
20:46Yes, we were both thinking about that.
20:48And you're not just saying that because she said Golden Retrievers.
20:51Well, how else are we supposed to...
20:52Aggressive and it's accusational.
20:54OK.
20:54So I just wanted to...
20:55I apologise.
20:56But I'd love to stand in front like a family snack.
20:59Do you know what I mean?
20:59Put his hand like it's a dad with his hand.
21:01Oh, my God.
21:01He's our dad.
21:02God, that's amazing.
21:04He's got...
21:04He's got us in his...
21:06Um...
21:08We must be running out of time.
21:10Oh, I love it when he does the whistle.
21:11I'm not going to lie.
21:12Yeah.
21:12Do you think you've twinned well?
21:14Um, I think we're the very essence of twins.
21:21How beautiful.
21:23Beautiful.
21:24I'm just imagining you as my twins.
21:25I think I'd be quite proud.
21:27Yeah.
21:28I think you did a great job.
21:29What do you think?
21:29We're lovely girls.
21:30We looked identical.
21:32Dreamboat, dreamboat.
21:33I don't know what else you're looking for.
21:35Well, if you were my twins, I'd know which one was my favourite.
21:38Um...
21:40I'll leave that unsaid.
21:41Is it fair to say twins are born minutes apart, not decades?
21:47We're talking multiple decades.
21:49OK.
21:49Well, I think they did a great job and it was a great photo at the end.
21:52Uh, let's birth our triplets, shall we?
21:54Here's Luke, Nina and Jimmy.
21:57The other two have probably been the same thing we are, which is like we wear the same outfit.
22:01Mm.
22:01What's a little twist we can put on?
22:03We could become a triplet as in like the musical note.
22:06Triplet.
22:06Oh!
22:07Like a triplet.
22:08With this three of those.
22:10Yes.
22:11With a line on the top.
22:12Let's do that.
22:12Let's do that.
22:13Let's get the instruments.
22:14Would we hold an egg up to our face like this?
22:17Like the egg is our face?
22:18The egg?
22:18We have three egg heads and then we'd make like Tom solve a riddle.
22:23We are the eggs three.
22:24We are the eggs three.
22:25Oh, yeah, sorry.
22:26Oh, my blanket's fallen off and my eggs fell off.
22:28Oh, no!
22:28It's a loss of the process!
22:31And I am the scrambled.
22:34We are the eggs three!
22:37You must answer these three riddles.
22:41First riddle.
22:43What?
22:44Is.
22:44Your.
22:45Name.
22:47Uh, Tom.
22:49Correct!
22:52You have passed the first test.
22:54Second riddle.
22:56How.
22:57Many.
22:58Times.
22:59Has.
23:00The.
23:01Moon.
23:03Had.
23:05An.
23:06Aneurysm.
23:08Uh, zero times.
23:10Oh!
23:11He's correct again!
23:13Look at a brainiac over here.
23:16Three times.
23:16Third riddle, final riddle.
23:17Who.
23:18Did.
23:19The.
23:20Time.
23:22Who did the what?
23:23Time.
23:24Who did the time?
23:25Who did the time?
23:26Who did the time?
23:27Who did the time?
23:28Who did the time?
23:28Who did the time?
23:28Who did the time?
23:29God?
23:32No!
23:33Correct!
23:34I mean, correct!
23:35Correct!
23:35Correct!
23:36Get out of the den!
23:38Yes.
23:39Bye!
23:40Oh!
23:41Oh!
23:42See ya!
23:43Thank you for everything!
23:49It was going so well and then the sheet fell off and that really wrecked it.
23:54Uh, what was that?
23:57Uh, isn't it obvious?
23:58That was the famous eggs three, um, from, from legend.
24:02If you used Danielle's map, that's where you get led to, so.
24:06I think it's pretty clear it was shit.
24:08Can you tell us in detail why?
24:10Right.
24:11Should we describe why it's bad with one word each?
24:14Like the triplet?
24:16It.
24:17Was.
24:18Oh, bad?
24:19Because.
24:21It.
24:22Sucked?
24:24Couldn't.
24:26Think.
24:27In.
24:28Triplet form.
24:30God.
24:31Oh, it's happening again!
24:34I think the three of you demonstrated what happens if you're too supportive of each other
24:38and you're in a group where there's no bad ideas, it means that they're all bad ideas.
24:44Okay, time for some scores.
24:46Oh, before we move on to the scores, there's one other component to this task that I think we should
24:50see.
24:50Oh, yes.
24:51The most convincing transformation wins.
24:54You have 30 minutes.
24:55Also, you must choreograph a beautiful dance to perform at the end of every team task.
25:02You have five additional minutes for your beautiful dance choreography.
25:05Five, six, seven, eight, and a one, two, three, four.
25:22Plump!
25:23Oh, I love it.
25:27Looking forward to seeing our one.
25:29Yep.
25:30I think your one's going to be amazing.
25:31Oh, there's no one for the other team.
25:33What?
25:36Yeah, there's just an extra treat for us.
25:38There's no points given for that.
25:40That's just...
25:41That's so rude.
25:43There are more team tasks coming up too, so let's just say that's not the last beautiful
25:46Macarena we're going to be seeing.
25:48Oh, that's so bad!
25:50I can't believe you did that to us.
25:52I can.
25:54Alright, time for some scores.
25:56The triplets were shit, the twins were good.
25:57So the triplets get one each.
26:00Okay.
26:00And the twins get five each.
26:04Easy.
26:09Alright, you've all got a few minutes to choreograph a lovely little dance of your own at home.
26:13Don't film it, don't send it to me.
26:15We'll be back with more Taskmaster right after this.
26:29Welcome back to Taskmaster where five comedians are battling it out to win Jimmy Rees' bone.
26:35Tom Cashman, are we ready for another task?
26:37For this one, it's cricket time.
26:51Yeah!
26:53Oh, sorry.
26:54It's me.
26:56Tom?
26:57Jimmy?
26:58I'm ready to, to task.
27:01Where is the task?
27:02Oh, there it is.
27:04Oh, look at this.
27:05Cricket ball.
27:06Classic six-stitcher.
27:07A classic what?
27:08Six-stitcher.
27:09Oh, right.
27:10Okay.
27:11Perform the most passionate cricket appeal.
27:13Most passionate cricket appeal wins.
27:17You have 20 minutes to prepare your appeal.
27:19Your appeal starts when the ball hits the pads.
27:23Your time starts now.
27:25I have a problem, which is I don't know what cricket appeal is.
27:31Is it like the most sexy cricketer?
27:34Like the most appealing cricketer?
27:40To any viewers who are worried because you don't know much about cricket,
27:44do not be concerned, you are not alone.
27:47How's that?
27:54I don't get it.
27:56This is going to go down well with the Australian public.
27:59You got some cricket appeals to show me then?
28:01I won't make a cricket joke because she wouldn't understand it.
28:04Here's Danielle Walker.
28:08What's a cricket appeal?
28:10An appeal is the act of a player on the fielding team
28:12asking an umpire for a decision regarding whether a batter is out or not.
28:17Batter is out or not.
28:18So you've got to be angry that the batter has done something wrong.
28:20I saw something behind the shed.
28:21What did you see behind the shed?
28:22A big thing that you wouldn't be able to use if you were a batter.
28:26My nana is going to be so disappointed.
28:29She loves cricket.
28:30So I throw this at you and then-
28:32And then I'll try and hit it with this.
28:34Yep.
28:35Can we superimpose my head over the top?
28:36Of me.
28:37Then I'll be you.
28:38Okay.
28:38Pretending I'm angry about him.
28:40If you can move your hands like you're arguing and then we superimpose my face onto you again.
28:47Okay.
28:47Yeah?
28:50Let's go.
28:51Let's go.
29:13Let's go.
29:37Let's go.
29:41Let's go.
29:42Let's go.
29:44green the floppy the baggy the baggy green what's his name Don Bradman that's
29:48it it's not Bob it's Don
29:54who couldn't forget that Australian legend the green hat Bob Bob Bob I'm I
30:04know it said with three letters you know I looked it up yeah and Don Bradman when
30:07he was born his name before he changed it before he got famous was Robert Bob
30:12for short really no I think you didn't know what an appeal was because your
30:25appeal was over the batsman using the wrong bat that's what you're upset about
30:29yeah I think Tom said that a fieldsman gets angry when the batter does something
30:34yes and so I figured well if I was a fit I'd be pretty angry yeah they had all
30:39that surface area but in a game of cricket you wouldn't have to go how's
30:44that and then young Paul go that's not a cricket bat they could tell as soon as
30:49they walked out onto the pitch that's a giant croquet mallet go back to the
30:53pavilion all right who's running in next I'm still not tempted to make a cricket
30:59reference she's even less familiar with it than Danielle it's Nina Oyama okay in
31:06cricket how far is a batter out about it how far is the better yeah like if
31:10someone were to stand in like out zone can someone hold this bat and stand next
31:15to the tree this like perfect little tree over here I feel like all of Australia is
31:19gonna be mad at me but not knowing cricket yes umpire Tom have you made your
31:29decision as to whether the batter is in or out yet no excuse me mr. umpire I'm
31:47passionately making a plea and appeal to your heart have you made a decision as to
31:53whether the batter is in or out yet yes the batter is out
31:59and why is he out he's over there he's over there and see
32:11why do you have sunny's on now because I'm scared well it's a lot to take in but I
32:18did make an appeal to the cricket master or whatever okay who's next Tom Cashman it's
32:28not this guy's first time playing the field here is Luke McGregor what are you
32:33thinking I feel like I don't know like I need like someone to say how's that too
32:38oh this is just me and pants this guy's the bird so this guy can be the wicker
32:42keeper like I guess so now I need some fielders and I've had a thought mmm okay
32:49mmm rope or string rope or string yeah oh the bats and then he's gonna dive to try and
33:00catch it the fielder dives between the bowler and the batsman one of the beauties
33:05of the sport is that it's unpredictable 100% yeah
33:22no but it starts the appeal starts when the ball hits the pads all the bullets the
33:27pads okay uh where's the where's the ball it's okay I've got an idea okay I've got a yeah I've
33:34got a pair
33:41how's that yeah suck it
33:49hang on so how you play cricket is you get a giraffe and a knight and then you pull a
33:55bit of string to be
33:56fair Nina I don't think you've earned the right to be sarcastic about someone else's attempt to play cricket
34:02Luke what what were you attempting there well I thought if I titled the string to the to the knight
34:08and the giraffe the bat would move and then it would hit the pad and then the giraffe would look
34:13like the giraffe was going for the catch what actually happened is I got tangled up in the string
34:19and then got and then we ran out of time okay yeah so why'd you kick over the giraffe I
34:25was angry
34:26at it for not participating yeah at least it was starting to resemble cricket I suppose so I think
34:32the thing with Luke's is there's a lot of extraneous stuff and the passion of the appeal was what we
34:37need to be measuring so I've actually prepared a shorter video that just shows the passion of the
34:42we probably don't have time for that I think here it is how's that
34:53really fires you up doesn't it time for me to make it appeal to our audience at home please come
34:58back pretend that streaming doesn't exist we're taking a break see you soon with more terrible cricket on
35:04taskmaster
35:13look I know you're watching it now but how about watching more later catch every moment of triumph
35:17and utter humiliation of taskmaster australia with full episodes at 10play.com.au or the 10
35:28welcome back to taskmaster we're not far away from knowing who will walk away with a big pile of worms
35:35and we're trying to find out by playing australia's favorite game that's right we're talking cricket
35:41our task is to do the most passionate appeal forget jimmy cricket it's jimmy playing cricket
35:48you're a cricket fan i do like cricket yeah i was not good at it i played it when i
35:53was younger until
35:54about 14 and then there was some behemoth it was probably brett lee showed up one week and i was
35:59next in to bat the next week and i said to dad i'm not playing anymore you didn't go i
36:04didn't go the
36:05next week and he would have been 25 foot tall david and goliath is what it is if david didn't
36:12show up
36:12which is a valid point next in to bat is 14 year old behemoth man from jimmy's past
36:32might not remember me but i remember you
36:54i'm going to count it now i don't know why you're holding on to this
37:01golden ducky yes come on next in to bat actual brett lee damn
37:15jimmy that was very disorienting having you knowing how to play cricket after all we've been
37:20through but i gotta say that was amazing i mean it had everything you played cricket uh you actually
37:27got someone out you had a traumatic back story the appeal was full of passion it was for a legitimate
37:33reason i can't fault it there was there was no giraffe
37:40what would you say to behemoth boy if he's watching the show now well i'd say look who's grown a
37:46pair now
37:49all right who've we got next i find this contestant a little bit intimidating nothing to do with
37:54cricket but it's true here's julia morris perform the most passionate cricket appeal so by appeal
38:01are you talking about fundraiser your appeal starts when the ball hits the pads i mean
38:08is that the time starting now just hit the pads or do you want me to bowl it your appeal
38:12has begun the
38:13ball has hit the pads oh my gosh hi i'm julia morris i think it's really suffering right now what
38:21would
38:21be really nice is for all of these really highly paid athletes just to get paid a little bit more
38:24especially the female cricketers who are obviously going to be a whole lot less please ring the number
38:31now on your screen and give as much as you can cricket needs it please give generously
38:41that's how you do it when you don't have any knowledge of cricket oh but sir i have much
38:46knowledge of cricket i grew up in a big cricket house well i think it was like uh a great
38:51use of
38:51the word appeal but unfortunately i think you approach the appeal with all the passion you've
38:55approached all your other commercial endorsements you kind of phoned it in no that's it
39:00absolutely it's a signature move i know you just like you just went straight into presenter mode and
39:04did the bare minimum i'm happy to forgo the fact that a lot of you did not know about cricket
39:10and
39:11just base it purely on passion uh so nina's on one because your it was the whole thing was all
39:17over
39:17the shot but you just were like hello can you please make the person out luke your appeal wasn't very
39:23passionate and then julia i liked what you did but it had all the passion of a paid for presentation
39:28so three danielle you're on four because there was heaps of passion but a bit too much cgi but uh
39:34on
39:34five is jimmy reese what has that done to our episode scoreboard tonight winning the episode currently
39:44it's danielle with 15 points all right everything to play for off your bums and up on the stage it's
39:54time
39:55for a live task oh it's as intriguing a setup as i've ever seen uh what's going on julia could
40:05you
40:05please read the task convince the task master that you deserve five points you must use a method from
40:13one of the paddles when you are finished convincing place your paddle in the paddling pool the least
40:19convincing contestant in each round is eliminated you will have 10 seconds each per round the last
40:27player standing wins nina i'm gonna do this one in a foreign language taskmaster-san uh five points
40:36kudasai arigato casually mention uh yeah yeah that's interesting also if you've got uh five points
40:44i'll slide around i'll i'll take him but you know what about it care if you don't what it would
40:53simi in character as the taskmaster's wife
40:57i know all the funny business all right i know you you bring home the bacon all right but i'll
41:01be having
41:01the five points okay you're the stupid guy but i get i get the points all right we know who
41:06wears the
41:06pants hey taskmaster julia has chosen seductively
41:22puppy dog eyes
41:23puppy dog eyes
41:36danielle you're done
41:39nina passionately plea using words that start with p please piff p five points
41:48i would really propreciate piff
41:57degrade yourself i'm a real piece of shit i don't deserve five points
42:03i i should even be here i don't even i don't think i'm even holding this sign very well
42:07uh you'll be in song one a two a three four five give me the points and you feel you're
42:18alive yeah
42:19in the morning and even in the evening and even right now on the taskmaster seat yeah
42:25making a promise you must then keep taskmaster um i've got friends that know your family so
42:34if i don't get the five points i'm going to drive my vehicle
42:40in the pool
42:43so nina you're done
42:47silently suggest
42:54okay oh i went to whisper and then i realized it's silently i can't say anything
42:58yeah so i just stood there next to tom and panicked
43:03politely asked why'd it take so long for someone to choose that hello tom gleason taskmaster
43:09standing right in front of me could i please have five points cool calm and collected i haven't
43:15actually asked for the five points in any of the ones so far because i can't work out what 10
43:19seconds
43:19is so i'd really love the points if if there's a possibility give me start
43:27don't milk it sit down firmly demand tell me you piece of give me five
43:36julia has one paddle remaining and it says desperately beg
43:41i'm gonna die before all these people on the level
43:46i just really feel the five points that will give me a lot of self-esteem that i've lost since
43:51my
43:51divorce
43:57it's tricky to split the two julia was very convincing but i feel like julia was acting within
44:02her specialty whereas i think luke actually asserting himself was way outside his comfort zone
44:09so i'm making luke the winner of that task
44:15all right well for the most part i didn't really appreciate being spoken to that way
44:18let's come back after the break and see the final scores
44:32welcome back to past master the best show on network 10 since whatever was on before it
44:37how's it looking tom well our live tasks saw danielle take home one point nina two jimmy three julia four
44:45and the winner of the live task was luke with five points
44:50which means the winner of this episode is julia morris with 18 points
44:59congratulations to julia you'll rest easy for eternity knowing you're buried with five very
45:05desirable items a shovel a phone and some worms are coming your way get on stage and take them to
45:11your grave
45:17and that's us another episode down tonight we learned that thongs for the most part are bound to the earth
45:23by the laws of physics we learned the answers to three of the most complex riddles ever devised by three
45:30eggs and we didn't learn a single thing about the actual rules of cricket most importantly however
45:37we learned our episode three winner is julia
45:40doesn't she deserve it peace and love to all we'll be back next week
46:09i don't think the show is going to get much hornier than that
46:12so am i moving in the right direction tom
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