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Taskmaster AU S01E01
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00:12This is the best day of my life.
00:34Yes, hello, welcome television viewers to the first episode of the first season of Taskmaster Australia.
00:40I'm Tom Gleeson and everything I've done in my storied career has led to this.
00:45For now, I'm no longer just Tom Gleeson, I am the Taskmaster!
00:51For ten weeks, five comedians, hand-selected by me, will put their brains, bodies and whatever they have left of
00:57their reputations on the line.
00:59As they compete to take home the most valuable prize in Australian television history.
01:04This golden replica of my stunning head.
01:13Let's meet the brave contestants vying for the prize.
01:17Our season one cast are...
01:19Danielle Walker!
01:20Ginny Reese!
01:22Julia Morris!
01:24Luke McGregor!
01:27And Mina Riyama!
01:30These five comedians have each given up days of their precious lives to complete a series of tasks set by
01:36me at our highly secretive Taskmaster Retreat.
01:39Unfortunately for them, we filmed everything they did with high-definition cameras.
01:43And I'm going to spend the next ten weeks ranking them from best to worst.
01:47Oh, and there's someone else I need to introduce.
01:50Sitting next to me, on a significantly smaller and appropriate chair, is a man whose value will become more apparent,
01:57hopefully, as the show goes on.
01:59It's my assistant, Tom Cashman.
02:01G'day.
02:04Tom Cashman has been my eyes and ears on the ground during the filming of the task, and also my
02:09hands and legs.
02:10I promise I didn't do anything weird with your eyes or ears.
02:13Or legs.
02:15The hands, well, let's just say there are a few slip-ups.
02:21But I will be providing facts and figures throughout the show.
02:24For example, about, like, 90% of me regret saying that thing about my hands just then.
02:29Shall we get stuck into our first task?
02:31Yes.
02:32Our first task is a prize task.
02:34So each of our contestants have been asked to bring in a prize or an offering.
02:38The one that fits the brief the best will receive five points.
02:42The second best, four points, and so on.
02:44And the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
02:50So what's the prize task tonight, Tom?
02:53Tonight our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the most beautiful thing.
02:58All right, I think we all know the most beautiful thing is a 15-cent reusable Coles bag blowing in
03:04the wind.
03:05But maybe this lot can top that.
03:07Danielle, what have you brought?
03:09It's a couture gown based off a country item, a fishing shirt that I've made.
03:13This is...
03:16I've added a corset back and I've covered it in bedazzles.
03:20I don't...
03:22I feel like you're dressed there for the red carpet at the Country Music Awards in Tamworth.
03:27Oh, if I win it back, I'm wearing it to the Logies.
03:31So, Jimmy, what have you brought for me?
03:33I thought a beautiful thing I saw on Twitter, actually.
03:36It's just the composition of words that I think is quite beautiful.
03:39OK. Poetic?
03:40Yeah.
03:42You'll see.
03:44Oh, my God, this is fantastic.
03:46My preference was for Kitty Flanagan to be the Taskmaster, but Tom is absolutely an easy pick.
03:54To be fair, Kitty Flanagan would have been a great Taskmaster, but this is Australian television and I'm a white
03:59man, so I get to host.
04:01That's how it works.
04:04I thought I had more retweets than that, but the one comment was me just saying, beautiful.
04:10Julia, what do you bring?
04:12One of my real happy place is a morning coffee.
04:14I had a mug made for myself, and that is the beautiful thing that I've brought in, and it's what
04:19I like to call the Taskmaster in his dorm room at school coffee mug.
04:33Where did that photo come from?
04:35I'm not telling you.
04:35No names, no court cases.
04:37Well, Julia, I really like it, because now I know what colour Tom's hair was.
04:41Yeah!
04:48Luke, what did you bring?
04:49Well, you and I both, we love the sun.
04:54But we're limited to when it's below UV level three.
05:00So I brought in the sunset.
05:04No, sorry, sunrise.
05:06Well, both.
05:07I brought in both, but because I couldn't bring in either.
05:12I brought in this, so we don't miss it.
05:19Hang on.
05:20Did you say sunrise or sunset?
05:22Well, I brought, well, you can go for both.
05:23You just put it in the, you just set the alarm and you can...
05:26You had to just set the alarm for the sunset.
05:28What, are you worried about having a really, really decent nap?
05:32Well, if you're busy, it's, um...
05:36You get an alarm clock.
05:39But we've got one of those in our phone.
05:43You brought in something that we already have.
05:45Actually, I'm not sure you brought anything, really, if you think about it.
05:48I think I'm going to mark you down harshly.
05:50Or, or, or, hear me out.
05:52You don't do that.
05:55OK, Nina.
05:56I brought in a cigarette butt from the gutter.
06:00That's got a lipstick stain on it.
06:02Lipsticks are such a motif for, like, elegance and beauty and, like, class.
06:06And then, like, a cigarette is the opposite of that.
06:08And it kills you.
06:10So, yeah, like, so the sunset, not too bad anymore, right?
06:15I feel like the only thing it represents is just a woman who's made a poor health choice.
06:21First of all, I think Luke's at the bottom because he brought us nothing.
06:24Well, I mean, a sunset, they are beautiful things, but you didn't actually bring them.
06:27Just to bring the sun in would have been a logistical nightmare.
06:31OK, so Luke's on one.
06:33Nina's, I understand the poetry behind it, but really it's just a woman who made a poor
06:37health choice, so Nina's on two.
06:38Julia's reminded me of my traumatic past, so that's a three.
06:43To be fair, Kitty Flanagan would have been a better Taskmaster, so...
06:47Jimmy's on four, and Danielle's going to look so great at the Logies.
06:52She can have the win on five.
06:55All right, shall we get into the good gear, Tom Cashman?
06:58I still get shivers when you say my name.
07:01Let's do it.
07:03It's time for our first pre-filmed task of the season, which is cause for celebration.
07:07A very restrained celebration.
07:21Hi, Tom.
07:23Hi, Julia.
07:24I'm coming.
07:30Come on, buddy.
07:31Hi, Danielle.
07:33It's in the letterbox.
07:34The flag's up.
07:35Ah.
07:36Oh!
07:37Message received.
07:38Huh?
07:44Stand by.
07:48I didn't know that's what that meant.
07:51Remove the balloon from inside the caravan.
07:55You may not touch or step into the caravan.
08:00Fastest winds, your time starts.
08:04Now.
08:05Where is it?
08:06Now.
08:10Oh!
08:11All right.
08:12Oh!
08:14Oh, that is in there.
08:18So, relatively simple stuff here.
08:21We've got a balloon in a caravan, and our contestants have to remove the balloon without stepping
08:25into the caravan or touching it.
08:27Fastest winds.
08:28Okay, well, let's get stuck in, shall we?
08:30One's blown up on social media.
08:31The other doesn't mind a puff.
08:33Here's Jimmy and Julia.
08:37You may not touch or step into the caravan.
08:41You can't step in there.
08:42You've just got to get it out.
08:43I feel like I need a gun.
08:45All right.
08:45I just want to survey the area, Tom.
08:50Yes.
08:50No, not up there.
08:52All right.
08:52I'm wasting time.
08:53I can feel it in my ladies' waters.
09:02I think I've got an idea.
09:04Okay.
09:18I want to put myself in here, so I'm not texting.
09:22Oh, okay, Tom.
09:23If you're not texting, I don't think.
09:25Go this way.
09:26It's going to bounce off the...
09:28Come this way.
09:30Come on.
09:30That was a nice basket, too.
09:32Um, okay.
09:33Ooh.
09:37Just using what is available to me at this current point.
09:42Here we go.
09:46Bounce.
09:49Got it, Tom.
09:52Woo!
10:00I must say, I'm not sure what was more exhausting, watching you blow that much.
10:05Or watching Julia sit on a basket.
10:08I really had no idea what I was doing.
10:10I, you know, I was just happy to be away from home.
10:14For a second when I was watching you in the middle of the task, I thought the task was polishing
10:18the floor with your arse.
10:19Well, I mean, 75 years in the business, Tom, let's face it.
10:23Still got a job.
10:24Now, I feel like popping the balloon was disappointing, but it did just say you had to get the balloon
10:29out.
10:29There was nothing in the rules that said you couldn't pop the balloon.
10:32I feel like I want to mark you down for that.
10:33But why?
10:34I got the balloon out of the thing.
10:35It was just disappointing.
10:36The crowd went, oh.
10:38And I thought, I just go with the crowd.
10:40I'm an entertainer.
10:42Wait.
10:42And then I picked up the remains of the balloon and they all went, oh.
10:49You're leaving out half the story, Tom.
10:51No, I don't remember that bit.
10:54Jimmy took four minutes and 18 seconds to remove the balloon from the caravan.
10:58Julia took seven minutes and 26 seconds.
11:01All right.
11:02Who's next, Tom?
11:03Well, having been children more recently, help them.
11:05It's our two youngest contestants, Danielle and Nina.
11:08Can you go inside and open a window?
11:11Yeah.
11:11That would be good, maybe.
11:13Yeah.
11:14Okay, thank you.
11:16I'll be back.
11:16I need some things.
11:17Change of plans.
11:19Or I'm going to get both, like, just in case, like, J-I-C.
11:23J-I-C?
11:23J-I-C, just in case.
11:25Oh.
11:25I thought you had an idea of what Jesus' middle name was.
11:28Oh, yeah.
11:29Maybe it's my middle name, which is Isabel.
11:31Jesus Isabel Christ.
11:33That has a nice ring to it.
11:35Totally.
11:36Beautiful.
11:36I should run.
11:37This is a fast time.
11:38I need to run.
11:41Okay.
11:42So I can't go in the caravan, but I can do something like this.
11:46All right.
11:47Okay.
11:53What if I use them like little chopsticks?
11:57Oh.
11:58Oh.
11:58Oh.
11:58We have an action.
11:59Oh.
12:00Oh.
12:01Oh my God.
12:01Oh my God.
12:03Nope.
12:11This balloon's floating with me.
12:12Oh.
12:13Okay.
12:13Okay.
12:14Okay.
12:15It's like big, um, salad tongs right now.
12:18Sure.
12:33One balloon.
12:36One balloon.
12:49It was a nice moment for me, too, because I talk in a way that makes people think I'm dumb,
12:55but then that really proves that there's something going on.
13:00I also talk in a way that thinks I'm...
13:02No.
13:04There it is.
13:07Thank you so much, Nina, for proving that point.
13:10So, um, how are you scoring them?
13:12Danielle, with her sticky ore method, took five minutes and 18 seconds.
13:16What the hell?
13:17Nina's salad tongs method took three minutes and 18 seconds.
13:25So far, no caravan touching, which is good to see.
13:28I'd also recommend no remote control touching, because we're going to be back straight after this break.
13:34We've got Luke McGregor's balloon evacuation and more when we return.
13:49Welcome back to the first ever episode of Task Faster, the only show where comedians throw stuff at balloons in
13:56an attempt to win a cigarette butt.
13:58Tom Cashman, get us up to speed.
14:01We're removing a balloon from a caravan without stepping into the caravan or touching the caravan.
14:06Fastest wins.
14:07And Nina Oyama is currently in the lead.
14:10Who's left?
14:11Much like balloons, certain children are scared of him.
14:14It's Luke McGregor.
14:17You may not touch it or step into the caravan.
14:19So I can't step into the caravan.
14:21Didn't say I can't go into the caravan.
14:35You reckon that's going to pass?
14:37Did you touch the caravan?
14:39Oh, shit.
14:42I did touch the caravan.
14:44I forgot about that.
14:45Oh!
14:48Well, I'm taking the balloon.
14:55Luke, did you know that we were filming this?
14:59I had a hunch based on the 20 members of crew around us.
15:02Yeah, I feel like you're very good at lateral thinking if you don't follow the rules.
15:07Because you fixated on that one thing.
15:09I was so excited.
15:10It's like, don't see a bit of lava.
15:11Well, I can jump into it and then it's still lava and you die.
15:16My favourite part of it was the eye contact you maintained with me.
15:20As you proudly slid back.
15:24So, that's a pretty easy disqualification.
15:27Well, it's very early on in the series, but I feel like we need to establish that rules are rules.
15:33So, who won?
15:34Well, I mean, if you're going to be a stickler for rules, I feel like there's some more footage that
15:39maybe you should see.
15:40Oh, no.
15:42You may not touch the caravan or step into it.
15:45Is that right?
15:46That's what it says.
15:47You may not touch it.
15:49Does that open?
15:51Oh, what's this?
15:53I was going to do a roll in.
15:54Oh, okay.
15:55Because it's not stepping in, is it?
15:57Is it touching?
15:58Does it open?
15:59Does it open?
16:00Oh, it's open.
16:01Get open!
16:03Is that not a step?
16:08No, not that way!
16:10No!
16:14All my dreams have come true.
16:16We are opening the whole series with a mass disqualification event.
16:21This is great!
16:23I thought we'd have to wait weeks for this!
16:26Jimmy touched the caravan 25 times.
16:29Julia touched it four times and stepped into it once.
16:33So, our scores are Julia, Jimmy and Luke have been disqualified.
16:38Danielle is on four points and the winner of this task is Nina Oyama with five points.
16:46So, the winner thus far, Danielle on nine points.
16:53What do you reckon?
16:54Shall we do another one?
16:55We've got like 30 more of these to go, so I think, yeah.
16:59Let's watch our contestants put their lives on the line.
17:18Hey, man.
17:19Hey, Nina.
17:21Wah, wah, wah.
17:23Wah, wah, wah.
17:23Wah, wah, wah.
17:25Oh, there's you.
17:27Oh, look at that.
17:29In Paris, and as a baby,
17:31It's my history.
17:32Getting married, you should be proud of yourself.
17:35You can die like having lived a full life.
17:38Let's not go that far.
17:39No?
17:41Okay, create a minute-long montage of your life.
17:48The best-looking life wins.
17:51Best-looking.
17:53That's in the bag.
17:54You have 45 minutes.
17:55Your time starts now.
17:57Let's start with my birth.
18:00I'll be back.
18:03So our contestants had 45 minutes to film all the scenes to make up the story of their lives,
18:08and all creative decisions were made by our contestants.
18:11Okay, was that wise?
18:13I'm not sure.
18:14Okay.
18:15Who's first?
18:16Let's take a dive into the twisted mind of Danielle Walker.
18:21Hi, that's me, Danielle.
18:23My mum knew she was going to call me Danielle for forever.
18:26She went to a sidekick who said, you're going to call your daughter Danielle.
18:29Also, she will be known the world over.
18:32My favourite movie when I was a kid was Andre the Seal.
18:36We recorded it onto VCR, but it was recorded second after a report on 60 Minutes about a
18:41man getting killed, and I didn't know how to use fast forward, so I'd have to watch that
18:44first.
18:45I was eight years old when my grandad taught me how to drive.
18:48Are you bush rats?
18:49Yeah.
18:50You know you can eat that.
18:51Oh.
18:51We check the pig traps every day for feral pigs.
18:54Feral pigs are a real scourge on this country.
18:59They need to be eradicated.
19:00They're destroying Australia's flora and fauna.
19:02Grandad, shoot!
19:03Grandad!
19:03Grandad!
19:04Me and my grandad love drinking together.
19:07Me and grandad will feed rainbow popcorn to the rainbow fish so that they'd get their
19:11beautiful colours.
19:13That's me with Quintan Bryce, ex-governor general of Australia.
19:16She's giving me my BP Scout medallion, the highest accolade you can get in Scouts.
19:19And yes, we shake hands with the opposite hand in Scouts, okay?
19:23I woke up on my 410th birthday and saw the light.
19:27I walked into it.
19:29Now I'm in heaven.
19:38Scouts was a highlight.
19:39If that was a highlight to your life, I'm wondering you've had a bit of a shit life.
19:42I loved Scouts because it was fun and I got to, I was a PL.
19:46What's a PL?
19:47As a patrol leader.
19:48Oh.
19:49Yeah.
19:49You work your way up the ranks.
19:51You start off, scum, then you go.
19:55Is that one of the rankings?
19:56Scum?
19:56Yeah, scum.
19:57Really?
19:58Do you get a scum badge?
20:00You don't even get to wear a badge.
20:03You don't even get a uniform.
20:06Are you sure this was Scouts?
20:08Well, Mum took me somewhere on a Wednesday night, so.
20:15I feel like you got a bit political in the middle of your film there too.
20:18You worked in your woke, anti-feral pig agenda.
20:22What was that about?
20:22Well, sorry, is that woke, is it, to not want the bandicoots to die out?
20:28Danielle's not wrong, in 2021 it was estimated that Queensland had up to 2.3 million feral pigs.
20:34Okay, so you mixed a few facts in there with your short film.
20:37I'm big into facts and I'm not big into feral pigs.
20:42That's...
20:42Okay, well the boundaries have been laid.
20:44Who's up next?
20:46From the twisted mind of Jimmy Rees, here's Jimmy Rees.
20:49Oh, he looks handsome.
20:51Me?
20:51Oh, we had a baby.
20:53Hey!
20:53Let's call him Toby.
20:55No, not Toby, we'll call him James.
20:57I don't want to ride on the motorbike.
20:59It's your first day of school, Jimmy.
21:01Ready to go, Mum.
21:01The school captain will be...
21:03Me?
21:04See?
21:04That was fun finishing school.
21:05What am I going to do now?
21:06Come see me, Jimmy.
21:08Okay, for like one year?
21:09Sure, whatever.
21:10I'd like to be on TV.
21:11You want to come and hang with me, Jimmy?
21:12Only if I can wear pyjamas 24-7.
21:15Yeah, you got it, man.
21:16Oh, that guy looks cute.
21:17What, me?
21:18You may kiss the bride.
21:21Aye.
21:21I won't be needing that.
21:24Not to me, Jimmy.
21:25She's so proud.
21:26We should have another one.
21:28Cut it, Jimmy.
21:29Twins?
21:29Oh, amazing.
21:31Oh, wow.
21:32Oh, my life is crazy.
21:34You're on Taskmaster, Jimmy.
21:35Oh, what do I do?
21:36Oh.
21:38Thanks, Tom.
21:38Um, uh, just read it?
21:42Yep, okay.
21:44Create a minute-long montage of your life.
21:46Best-looking life wins.
21:47You have 45 minutes.
21:49Your time starts now.
21:56I feel, Jimmy, that that was like one of your TikTok videos,
21:58except a bit more brief.
22:01And also, the camera work was less shit.
22:05But it'll be seen by less people because it's on broadcast TV.
22:08That's very true.
22:09But if I post that, it won't.
22:11Oh, you're just going to get someone to send you the video file
22:13and then just upload it?
22:14Because I didn't have to edit it.
22:15It was easier.
22:16Can you post mine?
22:16I'd love to get the word out about feral pigs.
22:24Time now for the ultimate montage,
22:27a series of advertisements for different products
22:28all seamlessly weaved together
22:30into three minutes of beautiful television.
22:32We've got life stories from Nina, Luke and Julia Morris
22:35when we return.
22:47Welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:50We've so far seen Nina Riyama remove a balloon from a caravan
22:53in record-quick time.
22:54And we are one step closer to finding out
22:56who will walk away with a bejeweled fishing shirt.
22:59Tom Cashman, what's going on?
23:01Our contestants have made one-minute montages of their lives
23:04and we're judging who has the best-looking life.
23:07It's something I was judging anyway.
23:10Who shall we look at next?
23:12Here's one from the twisted mind of Julia Morris.
23:15All right, I'm movie. Here we go.
23:17Are you going to choose some photos?
23:18Yeah.
23:19I mean, you can't believe how hot I thought I was there.
23:21I think I have a disease called reverse body dysmorphia
23:24where I just think I look really hot all the time.
23:26Right.
23:27Here we go. Get in there.
23:28It's got no music on it, but do you want me to sing?
23:36Like a one- spoon, Alex Manstead
23:37When I get you to work with a DJ
23:39Ah-a-a-a-a-a-an-a-ang-h-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-ag-an-a
23:46-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an
23:50-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an
23:52-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an-a-an.
24:02Yeah.
24:03Lea petition is a beautiful life bank...
24:04It's got no music on it, but is the person who
24:04Herpes areruled in a spirit of food.
24:07Thanks, Julia.
24:08Yeah, that's my real pleasure, sir.
24:10So desperate for validation.
24:12I know it's pathetic, but I can't change it now.
24:14At nearly 55.
24:21Is that a montage?
24:22I feel like it was more of a slideshow.
24:25Oh, well, yeah, I guess.
24:28One thing I will say is I do feel like you captured the three stages of life.
24:31Childhood, adolescence, and being a celebrity, meeting other celebrities.
24:36Which is something that we all go through, isn't it?
24:38Absolutely.
24:39Yeah.
24:40And also, it's not like I know her.
24:41I'm standing next to her in a photo, and then we both go our separate ways.
24:45That's what always gets me about celebrity photos.
24:47They're so ridiculous.
24:47You're like, here's us standing beside each other, and then we weren't.
24:51That's right.
24:52Are we going to hang out after this, Julia?
24:54Never.
24:54No.
24:56Is she ever going to happen?
24:57I would love it, but I just know.
24:59And also, it's because only one of us is a celebrity.
25:01Um, I'm ready for more montages.
25:06They call her the pretzel because her mind is so goddamn twisted.
25:10It's Nina Oyama.
25:35I'm here to debut the book that I read, Space for Dummies.
25:39It blew my mind.
25:41And it made me want to go to space.
25:45Right?
25:46Yeah!
25:48Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
25:55Lift off.
26:17Well, you brought something new in with the titles.
26:20Oh, thank you.
26:21And the black and white.
26:22Yeah, which was great.
26:23I also liked it when you held a press conference to announce that you'd read a book.
26:28Is that what the point of that press conference was?
26:30Yeah, because I don't sound or look like I read books, and so I wanted everyone to be proud
26:35of me.
26:36I'm feeling like I have to mark you down, though, because I think it wasn't the task yet to
26:40make a montage of your life.
26:42Create a minute-long montage of your life.
26:45Best-looking life wins.
26:46You have 45 minutes.
26:46Your time starts now.
26:48Of your life.
26:49Interpret that how you will.
26:50I know how I'm going to interpret it.
26:53I'm going to interpret it for maximum damage.
26:58We have one more montage to go, and it...
27:01Oh.
27:02Oh, it says...
27:03It says this guy's just got a normal mind.
27:06Nothing twisted about it.
27:08It's Luke McGregor.
27:09Push.
27:10Push, Mrs. McGregor.
27:15I'll name him Luke, after Luke Skywalker.
27:19Cool.
27:20Luke, I'm the mayor, and I need you to jump this lake to save the town.
27:24You got it, Mr. Mayor.
27:26I support gay marriage.
27:37I am the king of Tasmania, and I hereby knight you for...
27:40I'm a teenager as well.
27:41I'm the youngest knight.
27:42The youngest knight ever.
27:43Nevertheless, you protected our realm, and you're the best.
27:47Here is the knighting.
27:49Thank you, king.
27:51I can't wait to tell all my girlfriends.
27:54How many do you have?
27:55No, you're business.
27:56Okay.
27:58Have I done it?
28:00You've cured cancer.
28:02Great.
28:05We gather here today to remember the life of Luke McGregor,
28:09who died winning the sex grand final.
28:28So, Luke, did all these things happen in your life?
28:30I tried to stick to the facts.
28:33Oh, great.
28:33Well, I won't mark you down.
28:36So, tell us what happened in the sex grand final.
28:41Um, well, I died, but...
28:44It's a bit of a blur, to be honest.
28:47But, um, Tom was there?
28:49I'm...
28:50That's not true.
28:53I've never even made it out of the sex round of 16.
28:58So, I feel like I should give some scores.
29:00I've got to say, Julia, you're at the bottom on one,
29:03because I feel like it was a slideshow, and that was a disappointment.
29:05Fair enough, both.
29:06So, you're at the bottom on one.
29:07Okay.
29:08Nina's was completely made up.
29:09You weren't an astronaut.
29:10That wasn't actually your life, so that's two.
29:13Jimmy, I feel like it's a very good clip,
29:15but you don't need points,
29:16because you're going to get, like, sponsored content
29:17or some shit on Instagram.
29:18I don't understand.
29:19And then, Danielle, for raising awareness
29:21of the feral pig problem in Queensland,
29:24that's something that needs to be talked about more often,
29:26so four points to Danielle.
29:27That's true.
29:28And for Luke McGregor's factual life,
29:30that was very entertaining,
29:32I'm giving you five points.
29:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:38All right, time for you to take a moment
29:40and reconsider your whole lives,
29:42start to finish, while we take a break.
29:45See you soon for more Taskmaster.
29:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:57Welcome back to the first episode of Taskmaster,
30:00a hugely popular licensed television format,
30:03and I can't wait to read all the comments
30:05comparing it to the original.
30:07Tom Cashman, my trusted assistant,
30:09do we have another task to watch?
30:11We do, and this one is juicy, baby.
30:17MUSIC PLAYS
30:27Hi.
30:28Coo-coo. Coo-coo.
30:32LAUGHTER
30:34Hey, buddy.
30:36Hi, Luke.
30:36Oh, oh!
30:37There's a lot of things here.
30:39Hmm, quite a collection.
30:47MUSIC PLAYS
30:53It's hard to guess what the task's going to be,
30:55so I'll just read it.
30:57OK, dear Lord,
30:59fill the glass with orange juice.
31:02You may only touch oranges with the items on the bench.
31:05Fastest wins.
31:06Your time starts now.
31:09APPLAUSE
31:11So they're only allowed to touch the oranges
31:13with an egg beater, a keyboard, a toothbrush,
31:15a dumbbell, a recorder, and a crock.
31:17No different from how they do it at Boo Stews.
31:20Who's up first?
31:22These three all follow me on Instagram.
31:23It's Nina, Luke, and Jimmy.
31:26Oh, yeah.
31:28Oh, oh, my God.
31:30One.
31:31Mm!
31:32The first blast is the best blast,
31:35as they say.
31:37The first blast is the best blast.
31:40Yep.
31:40Couple more.
31:41Look at that.
31:42That's working.
31:42Send me a glass.
31:46There's got to be something better we can be doing.
31:51I've made the floor slippery, Tom.
31:53Can you just remind me that when I do that next time?
31:56How much is full?
31:57It just needs to be at least 50%
31:58because that can be a glass half full.
32:00It can also be a glass half empty.
32:02It has to be 51%.
32:03I don't think the saying is a glass half full.
32:06That's a full glass.
32:08Oh, OK.
32:09Can you also remind me to just be less aggressive
32:11with the weight when I go to squash an orange next?
32:15This will double our output.
32:22What?
32:23Oh, yeah!
32:24I'm almost there, I think.
32:26Oh, it comes out the side of the crop.
32:27You also reminded me that it comes out of the side of the crop next.
32:30Yeah.
32:30Oh, that's three.
32:32Ah!
32:35Why is my aim getting worse?
32:37All right, Jimmy, be careful of the slipperiness.
32:40And don't be too aggressive with the weight.
32:42And also be mindful that the juice comes out of the side of the crop.
32:45And what are we saying, showbiz?
32:46The first blast is the best blast.
32:48Mate, you are an A-plus student.
32:52The keyboard's not working.
32:53I'm thinking maybe if I do this,
32:55then brush it into the table.
32:58A couple more.
33:01Just catch it.
33:02Got to catch it now.
33:03Catch, catch, catch.
33:04Be mindful of the slipperiness.
33:07Are you going to type encouraging words on the keyboard?
33:09OK.
33:10If you want.
33:10Fantastic job.
33:13Enter.
33:13Oh, received.
33:16Damn, I really squeezed the shit out of this one.
33:18That guy's never going to walk again.
33:20Oh, no, no, no.
33:22No.
33:23Am I disqualified?
33:29No, the juice.
33:30No, I don't care.
33:31I'm going to care.
33:32Nevertheless, she persisted.
33:34But I'm going to do one more orange,
33:35and then I'm going to give up.
33:36Be careful being too aggressive with the bite.
33:39And don't slip.
33:39OK.
33:40Look at that.
33:41Is that it?
33:48Taskmaster, forgive Nino for touching the orange that one time.
33:51Are you finished?
33:52Cheers.
33:53Yes.
33:53Want some?
33:54Sure.
33:55Careful, it's slippery.
33:56Thanks, Jimmy.
33:57No worries.
34:01What percentage fall do you think that is?
34:03It's more than half.
34:0752%.
34:09Oh, boy.
34:15Nina, we have to talk.
34:18You decide it was half full when it got to half the height.
34:21But the problem is, the glass has angles,
34:24so I suspect the top half has more volume than the bottom half.
34:29That just sounds like maths or science, which I'm unfortunately not very good at,
34:35despite being half Asian.
34:39I think I'm just going to have to trust you on this one.
34:41Well, you can trust me, because I did the maths.
34:45Nina's glass was 49.4% poor.
34:53So Nina took 19 minutes and 29 seconds to fill the glass to 49.4%.
34:59So if you do the maths and you extend that out and assume that you would have filled the
35:02glass at the same rate, your time comes to 39 minutes and one second.
35:06Oh, it's like times two.
35:07No.
35:11It's approximately times two.
35:15But maybe you shouldn't approximate things from now on.
35:19Okay.
35:20Now, Luke, you could have just actually taken the weight to the whole bucket of oranges
35:24right from the get-go.
35:25Yes.
35:26In fairness, I didn't think of that.
35:31So, Jimmy, great use of the croc.
35:34So when you looked at that, did you just see a strainer?
35:36Is that what you're thinking?
35:37I have worn them before, and there was a lot of airflow through a croc, even though
35:42it makes your feet sweat profusely.
35:46Can I say, I only found out today that that croc was a used croc.
35:53I had a drink of Jimmy's, I had a drink of Luke's.
35:57Both of them, the juice had gone through someone's foot.
36:00Stuff.
36:02Okay.
36:03Well, that's interesting.
36:04So let's just back up again, and can you explain to us again, Jimmy?
36:06Just how sweaty a croc can get after you wear them around.
36:08It can get really sweaty.
36:09In detail.
36:10And your feet take the brunt of the sweat.
36:12Because everything, like gravity, like all that goes down there, into the crocs!
36:16This sounds like a great plot for a movie where wearing sweaty crocs are banned in a town
36:21called Foot Juice.
36:27And then are you trying to lose more points, just outside the competition?
36:33Not intentionally.
36:35Luke took 17 minutes and 36 seconds to fill the glass with orange juice.
36:40Jimmy took 7 minutes and 41 seconds.
36:48Who's sweet nectar shall we drink upon next, Tom?
36:51Oh, we must be tied 40-40 in a game of tennis, because it's a juice with Dania Walker.
36:58Fastest wins.
36:59Your time starts...
37:02N-now.
37:11There's a juicy orange juice.
37:13I'm just going to fill the glass to the top, that's the thing.
37:16All the information you need is in the task.
37:18Can you read it to me again?
37:19Fill the glass with orange juice.
37:21You may only touch oranges with the items on the bench.
37:23Fastest wins.
37:24Your time starts now.
37:25Fill the...
37:26With orange...
37:27Juice.
37:28With touch.
37:29Okay.
37:29Far out.
37:30That one's too tough.
37:34Oh, cut.
37:35One more, one more, one more, one more, one more.
37:36Juicy.
37:43Thanks, Danielle.
37:44How do you think you are?
37:45Oh, I'm honestly pretty proud of that one.
37:47Hopefully that's...
37:48Surely that one's pretty good.
37:58So, I have to ask you, Danielle, what did you think all the objects on the table were for?
38:04I thought they were the only things you could use to help you, if you wanted.
38:12I was really proud of that one.
38:15I went home and was like, well, that one's going to be good.
38:20I know.
38:22That was the joy of it.
38:24I've never seen someone look so proud of doing a shit job.
38:28I got them juiced so fast with my hands, I would have won if that was what the task was.
38:35Well, time was good.
38:37Two minutes and 55 seconds.
38:39Okay, so ignoring the rules is very effective.
38:43Okay, good to know.
38:45Now, you've got some time to fix yourselves a drink at home.
38:48And we'll see you soon with more juicy, juicy Taskmaster.
39:02Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:04As we creep towards knowing who our inaugural winner is, we're still in the midst of our
39:09very juicy final task, Tom Cashman.
39:12Our contestants are attempting to fill a glass with juice, only touching oranges with the
39:16items that are on the table.
39:18Bit of a no-touching theme tonight.
39:20Just a good rule in general, I reckon.
39:23This woman's got the juice, it's Julia Morris.
39:27I feel like it doesn't say I have to use those oranges to fill the orange juice.
39:31Tom!
39:32Wow!
39:33Oh!
39:34Tom!
39:38Tom!
39:46Go to the fridge!
39:47Oh, got orange juice?
39:48Uh!
39:54Yes!
39:55Okay.
39:55Still!
40:10It sounds like I've got a vibrato.
40:12Mm.
40:12That's because I'm puffing from running.
40:14Okay.
40:14Hey, Tom, this is what I look like when I'm dead.
40:19Oh.
40:21Alright.
40:21Well, hopefully that doesn't happen very soon.
40:24Not today, Tom.
40:32Danio, how did you feel watching Julia complete that task?
40:37Pretty pissed off.
40:41I'd like to check the label to see if it's actually 100% orange juice.
40:45That's why I licked it and flicked it.
40:47How can you tell if it's 99.9% orange juice just by licking it?
40:51Uh, the pulp, babe.
40:53It was orange juice.
40:55Julia took one minute and 13 seconds.
41:02All right, Tom Cashman, final scores.
41:04So Danielle is a DQ, disqualified.
41:07Nina, I think we're giving her one point.
41:09Luke with three.
41:10Jimmy with four.
41:11And the winner of this task is Julia with five points.
41:13CHEERING
41:18It is almost time for our final task.
41:21But before we do that, Tom, a score update, please.
41:23Leading at the moment is Danielle with 13 points.
41:26CHEERING
41:29All right, the stakes are high.
41:30Let's head up the stairs for a live task.
41:33CHEERING
41:36I see a lot of props, Tom.
41:38What's going on?
41:39Jimmy, could you please read the task?
41:41I can.
41:41It says, while standing beside your table.
41:44OK, I'm doing that.
41:45Throw a throw, boot a boot, bowl a bowl, flick a flick,
41:49or propel a propeller.
41:52The closest to the edge of the stage.
41:55If your item goes over the edge, you are eliminated.
41:58Ooh.
41:59If no item falls, the contestant furthest from the edge
42:03of the stage is eliminated.
42:05Once you have selected your item,
42:06you must throw, boot, bowl, flick, or propel.
42:10On Tom's whistle.
42:11Ooh.
42:12Repeat until the last player standing wins.
42:16Please select an item.
42:18Oh, OK.
42:19Oh, God.
42:19I'm going to go hard up front.
42:24Three, two, one.
42:28Oh, no.
42:36The bowl is the furthest from the edge of the stage.
42:40Luke McGregor is eliminated.
42:42Please select another item.
42:44Get down.
42:45Set.
42:47Oh.
42:51I don't think it's necessary for me to specify who lost that round.
42:55Please select an item.
42:56OK, stand by.
43:03Ginny is eliminated.
43:05Ginny.
43:06You ready?
43:09Oh, shit.
43:18After some throw-throwing, some flick-flicking and some bowl-bowling,
43:22we need to have a break so that Tom Cashman can do some single-digit addition.
43:26We'll be back soon.
43:38Welcome back to the first ever episode of Taskmaster Australia.
43:41I love this show, but as in life, there are winners and losers, and we're about to find
43:46out who they are.
43:47Our live task saw Luke get one point, Nina two, Jimmy three, Danielle four, and Julia
43:53took home five points.
43:57Which means what in the total scheme of things, Tom?
44:02It means tonight's winner of the first ever episode of Taskmaster Australia is Danielle
44:06with 17 points.
44:13Well done, Danielle.
44:14Five Things of Beauty now belong to you.
44:17A mug with my mug on it is coming your way, among other things.
44:22Get up on stage and claim what is rightfully yours.
44:28And that was our first episode.
44:30We learned that Nina Ayama went to space, never came back, and somehow stayed here the
44:35whole time.
44:36And we learned that if you want to make some orange juice, you don't have to break a
44:40single orange.
44:41We learned that Luke McGregor doesn't know how to read.
44:44But most importantly, however, we've learned that Danielle is the winner of episode one
44:49of Taskmaster Australia.
44:51See you next week.
45:10Tom Cashman, vibe check.
45:12Oh, the vibes are pretty good.
45:20Competing for glory in our first season, we have four of Australia's finest comedians
45:24and one former children's TV host reinventing himself as a bad boy.
45:50How could you not love it?
45:52How could you not love it?
45:52How could you not love it?
45:52How could you not love it?
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