- 8 hours ago
Hyacinth gets extremely excited about attending a country house sale, which causes Richard to worry that she'll go overboard and spend too much.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:35Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:41Richard, what's the matter?
00:43You know what's the matter.
00:45It's the sale tomorrow.
00:47Oh, I know.
00:49I'm excited, too.
00:51I'm not excited.
00:53I'm terrified.
00:55The thought of you at a sale.
00:57Oh, I do love a sale.
01:00Especially the thought of you at a country house sale.
01:03Especially country house sales.
01:05You get carried away.
01:07You think that because things have belonged to the aristocracy,
01:10they must be worth twice as much.
01:12You know, the truth is,
01:14I always think that because things have belonged to the aristocracy,
01:17they must be worth twice as much.
01:20There you go.
01:22Hyacinth, you must not go beyond our limit.
01:25Richard, go to sleep, dear.
01:28You'll need all your energy for tomorrow.
01:37Oh, who's that at this hour?
01:42Hadn't you better go and find out?
01:46Me?
01:48Suppose it's a mad strangler.
01:51They don't usually knock on the door.
01:55If it was a mad strangler, he'd have come through the window, wouldn't he?
01:59You'd still send me down, even if he did come through the window.
02:04Why don't you go?
02:06I'm busy keeping the bed warm for you.
02:12It's Mrs. Braddock.
02:14Oh, not her again.
02:16What does she want now?
02:18Same as last time.
02:20She says father promised to marry her.
02:22Well, send your father down.
02:24There's no reason to keep the whole house awake just because he's getting married.
02:28He can't stand her.
02:30Well, why did he promise to marry her?
02:32He says he didn't.
02:33He said he only offered her a temporary position.
02:38I know just how she feels.
02:45Now, Hyacinth, remember you promised you won't go beyond our limits.
02:50What about the hand, dear?
02:52Oh, well, yes, we might stretch as far as a second-hand hat.
02:56What do you mean, a second-hand hat?
02:59I bought this one new.
03:01Oh, that hat.
03:02Now, Richard, I want you to tell me if this looks like a mingling with the aristocracy hat.
03:10It's fine, fine.
03:12No, I don't want any snap judgments, dear.
03:14Please try to remember that this will be among some very aristocratic hats.
03:19It's fame, fame.
03:21Don't be silly, dear.
03:23Yes, this could easily be mistaken for an aristocratic hat.
03:27Just as long as you don't mistake my checkbook for an aristocratic checkbook.
03:36You ready?
03:37I think they're going out.
03:39I'd rather wait until the coast is clear before we step outside.
03:41Well, why don't we just go before they come out?
03:48We might bump into them.
03:50She'll sing at me.
03:51She'll ruin my day.
03:54You've really got a thing about, Hyacinth.
03:56That's because she's the kind of person it is very easy to get a thing about.
04:00You're a grown man.
04:02And she's a grown a minute.
04:06Honestly, Emmett.
04:08Just let your mind go blank.
04:10I do.
04:10Oh, Liz, Liz.
04:12It's so much simpler just to wait a few moments until they've gone.
04:17And then they can go their way and we can go our way.
04:20And our day will be complete.
04:23How do you know they're going out?
04:25Because Richard's got the car out.
04:32Well, very nice.
04:36Nice, he says.
04:38Is that the best you can manage?
04:40Today could be the day I'm mistaken for someone important.
04:47And if anybody should mistake me for someone important,
04:51let them think what they may.
04:54After all, it's only an accident of birth that I'm not someone important.
04:59Well, I am someone important.
05:02It's simply an accident of birth that I'm not even more important.
05:09Even aristocratic.
05:13She spends like an aristocrat.
05:28What are we going to do about Mrs. Braddock?
05:31Is she still coming about?
05:33I haven't seen her, but what are we going to do about her?
05:36Well, if she's going to make that racket every night,
05:39your father will have to marry her.
05:42Oh, nice.
05:43I hope you're going to be the one to break it to our hyacinth.
05:48Fancy having to tell our hyacinth
05:50father's got to get married at his age.
05:55How come he doesn't want to marry her?
05:57He usually wants to marry everybody.
05:59Mrs. Braddock's horrible.
06:02Everybody he's ever been involved with has been horrible.
06:06Maybe he likes horrible.
06:08But it's amazing how many do.
06:10You should see what some of my gentleman friends have to go home to.
06:16I could never settle for horrible.
06:21It always has to be stylish.
06:26That was all right when it was young days.
06:29But it can be a heck of a strain.
06:31A constant battle to remain attractive.
06:38Look, you said left.
06:42You said go left.
06:44You probably thought I said left when I said right.
06:48Why would I do that?
06:50Because you're in an argumentative mood, dear.
06:53I noticed it first thing this morning.
06:56You were very offhand about my hat.
06:59Anyway, now you have the map out.
07:01Do you know where we are?
07:02Yes.
07:04Lost.
07:19Father says, would you make sure that Mrs. Braddock's not about?
07:24He wants to go out.
07:25And he don't go out if Mrs. Braddock's about.
07:29Why don't you go out and check if Mrs. Braddock's about?
07:33She bites.
07:35And she looks to me like someone who might possibly be septic.
07:40And that's just her face.
07:43Unslow, will you go out and see if Mrs. Braddock's about?
07:47Oh, nice.
07:48Doesn't matter if she bites me and turns me septic.
07:51But she won't bite you.
07:53She likes men.
07:55She bites me.
07:57She likes men.
07:59That was before I discovered bacon sarnies.
08:06Oh, go on, Unslow.
08:08I'll load your bacon sarnie for you.
08:10No, you won't.
08:11I've seen you before with bits of some poor bloke's bacon.
08:18I'll go out when I finish my sarnie.
08:22Which way this time?
08:24Left or right?
08:26Right.
08:38No left.
08:40No left.
08:51No, as you were, turn right.
09:03Watch out for animals.
09:05What animals?
09:06I can't see any animals.
09:07This is the countryside.
09:08There are always animals.
09:10Well, never mind about the animals.
09:12Are you sure that this is the right way?
09:14I'm quite sure.
09:18Stop trying to confuse me, Richard.
09:20I hate it when you confuse me.
09:23Mind the car.
09:24There's a car coming.
09:25I can see the car coming.
09:28I believe it's Elizabeth and Emmett.
09:31Flash your lights.
09:38Thank heavens they're going the other way.
09:42I didn't like Hyacinth's hat.
09:46I didn't like Elizabeth's hat.
09:49Never mind about the hat.
09:51Can you see where we are on the map?
09:53Yes, I have my finger on the spot.
09:56We go along here for a little while, and then we come to some crossroads.
10:05She's not out here.
10:07What are you doing?
10:09Go and see if she's in the street.
10:11Street?
10:12Nobody said anything about the streets.
10:14All you said was go and see if she was outside.
10:18Just go to the gate and look both ways.
10:21And if you see her, tell her to go away.
10:24Oh, nice.
10:26The pace of modern life.
10:31Be careful.
10:33She's not parachuting into occupied France.
10:36I don't want them injured.
10:38Why?
10:38What have you heard?
10:40How fierce is this Mrs Braddock?
10:42Oh, she's not fierce.
10:44She just gets a bit excited.
10:47Think hard.
10:49You remember excited.
11:05All clear.
11:07Great.
11:09Oi!
11:15He promised he'd marry me.
11:20Mrs Braddock, what are you doing in the car?
11:23When you're my age, you likes to sit down.
11:31Where's my dog?
11:32Ran away helping.
11:34You haven't been biting my dog.
11:36Oh, I touched him.
11:39Oh.
11:41Here, girl.
11:43Here, girl.
11:47Come on, girl.
11:49Come on, girl.
11:50Where are you?
11:57I'm here, love.
12:01Not you, Mrs Braddock.
12:05Come on, girl.
12:09That last signpost, I'm sure it said Nettleford was that way.
12:13Well, I didn't see it.
12:14I'm sure I read it correctly.
12:17Richard, should you be reading while you're driving?
12:23Now, do come along, dear.
12:25We'll never reach the sale.
12:27Time is not on our side.
12:31Richard.
12:33Door door.
12:54There you are, Richard.
12:55I told you I'd find you the way.
13:15I've been looking forward to this, Liz.
13:18It's been a while since I've been to a sale.
13:20And then to top it off, there's that wonderful feeling of peace and serenity
13:24that comes from knowing that Hyacinth is travelling somewhere in the opposite direction.
13:31Yes, it's a rather special feeling.
13:34A bit like waking up and thinking it's all been a bad dream.
13:46Anyway, you can forget about it today and relax and enjoy yourself.
13:50I intend to.
14:03Oh, I did like Derek.
14:05You know, Derek was a gentleman.
14:06He never went out in a car without something to put between a person and the damp grass.
14:13Thank heavens you're here.
14:15Can you change the programme?
14:17What channel do you want?
14:18Two.
14:23That's great, Dave.
14:24Nobody does it like you.
14:28Do you think we ought to take some tea out to Mrs Braddock?
14:31Oh, don't make her too comfy.
14:33She'll be there forever.
14:35It just feels rotten, drinking tea and thinking of her sitting out there in that old car.
14:42How do you think the dog feels?
14:46You took Mrs Braddock breakfast.
14:48What more does she want?
14:50I can't enjoy things when I know she's out there.
14:58Just bear in mind she's got to go sometime.
15:01I can't live forever under this dog.
15:05Why don't you put the dog down and nurse me?
15:11Take Mrs Braddock a cup of tea.
15:15I knew he'd say that.
15:17Oh, let Father take her a cup of tea.
15:19It's his fault she's here.
15:20Why can't they both live in the car?
15:22Then we could rent the spare bedroom.
15:25He doesn't like her enough.
15:27He just regards her as a plaything.
15:30I know the feeling.
15:34Well, we could let her in and put Father in the car.
15:38Bless her.
15:39I'm going to take her a cup of tea.
15:52There you are, you see.
15:53I brought you straight here.
15:58I don't know what all the fuss was about.
16:02Oh, yes.
16:03I do like the house.
16:06Oh, you see.
16:07There you go.
16:08Getting carried away.
16:09We cannot afford the house.
16:17I think I'd do something about the curtains.
16:21I think the curtains are rather bourgeois.
16:43And if people should mistake me for someone aristocratic, I don't want you telling them I'm not.
16:48But it simply confuses them.
16:51It's only good manners to let them believe it.
17:01Excuse me, my good man.
17:03Could you direct me to the auction chamber?
17:06Just through the arch, madam.
17:07It's the first door on the right.
17:11How courteous.
17:13Clearly a faithful retainer of the old school, you can always tell.
17:17Should I tip him?
17:18I wouldn't if I were you, Hyacinth.
17:21No, you're probably right.
17:23Anything as coarse as money would obviously shock.
17:28My lord!
17:30Her lady should be back to work.
17:32She's in the blue drawing room.
17:37You see, I knew he was quality.
17:46Oh, I wouldn't bother looking at any of these.
17:48Have you seen the estimated prices?
17:52Well, of course, these are not really to my taste.
17:55I was looking for something more like Gainsborough's Blue Boy.
18:00Only cheaper, dear.
18:03Excuse me.
18:05Yes, madam.
18:06We were wondering if you had anything like Gainsborough's Blue Boy.
18:12I'm afraid not, madam.
18:14Oh, pity.
18:16What about a beautiful painting of a basket of flowers?
18:20I think not, madam.
18:21Oh, isn't anyone painting baskets of flowers anymore?
18:25I have a beautiful one at home.
18:29It's the work of a Miss Patience Fullerton.
18:32Are you familiar with the work of Miss Patience Fullerton?
18:35I don't think so, madam.
18:38She's very talented.
18:40You can almost smell the flowers.
18:47Oh, I know.
18:48What about something like The Sunset by Mr. Van Koff?
18:55Oh, a little like Daddy when he was younger.
19:17There are some lovely things here, Liz.
19:19Beautiful.
19:21I'm glad we came.
19:22So am I.
19:23What are you going to bid for?
19:24Oh, practically everything.
19:26Oh, Richard.
19:28Oh, yes.
19:30That's almost identical to my own dear Royal Doolton.
19:37You know, I think I was happiest with Derek until tragedy struck.
19:43His wife found out.
19:45She was so selfish.
19:47He was cross-eyed.
19:50He wasn't.
19:51He just had an attractive, lazy eye.
19:56Onslow's got one.
19:57It goes all the way down to his boots.
20:03Just play the card, Dave.
20:07Snap.
20:10Now, ladies and gentlemen, lot 83 in your catalogues.
20:14A fine pair of ornamental vases.
20:17Oh, Richard, I like those.
20:19No, you don't.
20:20None of these prices.
20:22No, but that's just an estimate.
20:24They could well realise more.
20:26Yeah, exactly.
20:27Now, where can we begin, ladies and gentlemen?
20:30£100?
20:33Sit on your hands.
20:35Will anyone start me on £100?
20:39£75.
20:40They're getting cheaper.
20:42Sit on your hands.
20:45£50.
20:46£50 I'm bid.
20:47Your bid, sir, by the window.
20:48£50 I'm bid.
20:49£60.
20:51Your bid, madam.
20:52£60 I'm bid.
20:53£70.
20:54£70 I'm bid.
20:56£80, £80, £90, £100 I'm bid.
21:01£110 I'm bid.
21:03All done at £110.
21:05Sold to the gentleman by the window.
21:24Now, ladies and gentlemen, lot 142 in your catalogues,
21:27this Victorian ornamental screen.
21:37Richard, it's Elizabeth and Emmert.
21:41Are you opening the bidding, madam?
21:43No!
21:44No!
21:45Stop waving!
21:50You gods!
21:52You know, we ought to have bid for that screen.
21:54It was beginning to feel just like home.
21:57Now, your next item, ladies and gentlemen, is something of a family curio.
22:02Six bottles of the Dowager Lady Ursula's homemade gooseberry wine.
22:07Apparently, the old lady was something of an expert in the production of country wines,
22:11and these have been in bottle for a considerable number of years.
22:14Oh, the Dowager Lady Ursula's homemade gooseberry wine.
22:19Well, all right.
22:20I think that might just be within our range.
22:23Now then, will anybody start me at £10?
22:28Yes!
22:32Sold.
22:40Oh, Richard, it'll be the crowning moment of my next candlelight supper,
22:46when I offer my guests a glass of the Dowager Lady Ursula's homemade gooseberry wine.
22:55Don't drop any Richard.
22:58Oh, look, there's his lordship.
23:00Hello, your lordship!
23:03Oh, hello!
23:05I see you've bought old Mumsy's dynamite.
23:08Oh, yes.
23:10I've always had an eye for quality.
23:13One way to ruin your eye is drinking too much of that stuff.
23:15Really?
23:18And it's entirely handmade by the Dowager Lady Ursula.
23:23Absolutely.
23:24The rest of us ran a mile from old Mumsy's scrumpy.
23:30I think perhaps we ought to be going, Harrison.
23:33Oh, Richard, not before we've invited his lordship to join us in a toast to the good lady responsible for
23:40all this.
23:41A toast to Mumsy?
23:42Oh.
23:43One can hardly decline that.
23:45Let's go inside.
23:47Oh, how nice.
23:50Have a very interesting day, your lordship.
23:54Though there weren't quite enough of our sort about the place.
24:02Stand by to crack open a bottle, Richard.
24:10Standing by to crack open a bottle, Richard.
24:26Dynamite?
24:28You know, to tell the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if that's not what killed her.
24:34I feel sorry.
24:35I feel that she'll be all right once we get her into the car.
24:41Oh, I do hope, your lordship, that someday you'll give me the pleasure of entertaining you at one of my
24:48candlelight slippers.
24:50You shall most deferably be having a glass or two of the Dowager Lady Ursula's home goose, Wadeberry mine.
25:00So, Lona, is she?
25:03Oh, sure.
25:06Why are you, see, tying me up?
25:09Why is this churl tying me up?
25:13I'm being held a prisoner, your lordship.
25:17A white woman wearing a hat, what is the world coming to?
25:23Unhand me, father.
25:30I am putting your seatbelt on.
25:36Oh, Richard, thank heavens you got here in the nick of time.
25:43Goodbye.
25:46Goodbye.
25:53Don't turn left, Richard, straight on.
25:57Why?
25:58I want to take a little gift to daddy.
26:01A bottle of the Dowager Lady Ursula's go-made Woosbury hide.
26:08By the Pillar Box.
26:10Minding the Pillar Box.
26:13Drink to me only with a rhino.
26:20Are we here already?
26:46You're sure that you want to do this?
26:49Richard, I'm perfectly capable of knowing my own mind.
26:56Hi, you're saying...
26:58Yes, dear?
26:59It's this way.
27:17What are you doing now?
27:21Not a word, Richard.
27:23Richard, I'm perfectly capable of knowing my own mind.
27:55I don't think you'll all join me in a bottle of the Dowager Lady Ursula's.
28:00Same mood, Geese, but I won.
28:04Oh.
28:06Oh.
28:12Oh.
29:13Hello, welcome to England.