- 8 hours ago
Hyacinth's arrangements for a nice picnic with Richard seemed like a great idea at the time, but her plans don't go as she had hoped.
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00:23Thank you for listening.
00:40You see, no traffic. I told you we'd do better on the country roads.
00:53Feel free if you'd like to walk. Don't wait for me.
00:58Oh, Richard, do stop complaining, dear. We're not in a hurry. We only came out for a ride. Enjoy the
01:06countryside.
01:19Please don't use language like that, Richard.
01:22I never said a word.
01:24Oh, I can hear you thinking, dear.
01:30You can come out. It's quite safe.
01:37Are you sure they've gone out?
01:39I saw them go. She said they were going for a drive.
01:46I wish you'd make sure.
02:00Satisfied?
02:22How long a drive?
02:24Oh, just sit in the sun and read your paper.
02:30Mind the cattle.
02:32The fields.
02:33Those are. There may be others.
02:40Richard, stop!
02:44What now? I can't see any cows.
02:46No, it's not the cows, dear. It's the river.
02:48I was missing the river. I wasn't going into the river.
02:52I just wanted you to have a look at it. It's very pretty.
02:59Hyacinth, you mustn't shout stop like that because I thought it was an emergency.
03:07There's a vehicle behind.
03:09I know there's a vehicle behind.
03:14You're in a very funny mood today, Richard Bouquet.
03:18I can hear you thinking again.
03:21And it's not Bouquet, it's Bucket. It was always Bucket till I met you.
03:25Don't let's go through all that again.
03:30Park the car, dear. I'd like to walk the riverbank.
03:35What?
03:38What's your mother?
03:41Why not?
03:42He he he he he he.
03:51Ah.
03:57What happened to that terrible bird you used to knock about with?
04:03I married you.
04:07I mean the other one.
04:09What was her name?
04:10Melanie.
04:13Fancy going out with a muffin called Melanie.
04:17Wasn't her fault.
04:19Her mother like gone with the wind.
04:22Oh.
04:24Anyway, it was over when I met you.
04:28You were seeing her behind my back.
04:32Well, it was tapering off.
04:43Oh, Richard, isn't it beautiful?
04:46I love it.
05:00I shall hold a riverside picnic, Richard.
05:05Out of doors, but every bit as elegant as one of my candlelight suppers.
05:10Don't you think that's a good idea?
05:12Mind the yacht, dear.
05:14I can't even see a yacht.
05:17You may have noticed that I'm going backwards.
05:20Should you be going backwards, dear?
05:24That's how it works.
05:26Oh, well, keep practicing and you ought to be the right way round for my riverside picnic.
05:36Has your rose got a boyfriend in?
05:39Not to my knowledge.
05:42Well, there's something going on in our room.
05:45More than can be said for hours.
05:53Perhaps it's your father.
05:56Where did he get the hammer?
05:57Huh.
05:58It's not exactly as if you've got the best toolkit.
06:04I'm not gifted that way.
06:06My talents are more intellectual.
06:11Oh, I wouldn't say that.
06:19RIPARIAN!
06:20What?
06:23RIPARIAN!
06:24That's the word I've been looking for and I've found it in Sheridan's dictionary.
06:29God, I thought we had burglars.
06:31It means of the river bank.
06:35Oh, fascinating.
06:36But what do you want with a word like RIPARIAN, especially at this time of night?
06:41Because I have to issue invitations.
06:44To my waterside supper with RIPARIAN entertainments.
06:51Oh, you mean a riverside picnic?
06:55No, I do not mean riverside picnic, Richard.
06:59I mean waterside supper with RIPARIAN entertainments.
07:04Entertainment.
07:05Now, principal guests.
07:13What's going on?
07:15Daddy's bored.
07:16He wants to do something different.
07:18Well, he could stop hammering for a start.
07:21We'll have to watch him.
07:23When he feels like that, he always goes looking for Mrs Pendlebury.
07:27Which is more than Mr Pendlebury ever did.
07:31Didn't she move to Chesterfield?
07:34I am not fetching your father back from Chesterfield.
07:39Oh, what can he be doing?
07:42He's inventing something secret.
07:46Like what?
07:47He won't tell me it's a secret.
07:58Come on.
07:59Come on.
07:59Come on.
08:09Come on.
08:14Come on.
08:18I'd like a word with you, Postman.
08:22Did you see that?
08:24I was about to deliver this in the ordinary manner
08:27when this sudden freak wind tore it out of my grasp.
08:33I'd made every effort to cling on to it gamely
08:36in the best traditions of the Postal Service,
08:38but it was too much for me,
08:40and it was snatched, snatched from my fingertips.
08:44Wind?
08:47Oh, thank goodness it's gone as quickly as it came.
08:51Don't worry, you're quite safe now.
08:56Just a moment!
08:58Oh, all right! I give up!
09:01I threw it!
09:03I tossed it straight at your door.
09:05It missed completely, but I intended it to land on your step.
09:08Never mind about that.
09:09What have you got for next door?
09:11I can't show you what I've got for next door.
09:14I don't want to look inside.
09:17I just want to be sure that you have an envelope
09:20in my handwriting for next door,
09:22so that I know their invitation has arrived.
09:25They're invited to my Waterside Supper with Riparian Entertainment.
09:31You posted a letter that's only going as far as next door?
09:35Yes.
09:36Why didn't you just push it through their letterbox?
09:39Because I like people to know that I use first-class stumps.
09:45Please, could I see it?
09:47I'm sorry, Mrs Bucket.
09:48Bouquet!
09:49Sorry!
09:49No, no, no.
09:50It's more than my job's worth to start showing you other people's mail.
09:53It's not other people's mail.
09:56It's my mail.
09:58I wrote it.
09:59I'm sorry.
10:02All right.
10:04I'll turn my back.
10:06I'll describe the envelope to you.
10:12The envelope is of a pale shade of mauve,
10:15lavender-scented.
10:19It is addressed to Elizabeth and Emmett,
10:22and the postage stamp is aligned exactly to the edge of the envelope.
10:28Close.
10:32Oh, we're invited to a Waterside Supper with Riparian Entertainment.
10:38Good.
10:39Well, I could do with the change.
10:40Sounds delightful.
10:41We'll go.
10:42It's from the Bucket Woman.
10:46We're not going.
10:48Make some excuse.
10:49Make your own excuses.
10:51I will not get involved with the Bucket Woman.
10:54I will not get involved with the Bucket Woman.
10:59We're invited to a what?
11:01A Waterside Supper with Riparian Entertainments.
11:05With what entertainments?
11:07I looked it up.
11:08It's to do with rivers and riverbanks.
11:11She means a riverside picnic.
11:13I expect so.
11:14Well, whatever it is, we're not going.
11:16At least I'm not.
11:17I thought you might say that.
11:19And what's more,
11:21you can tell her I said it.
11:23Oh, no.
11:24Not this time.
11:25You can tell her.
11:27What?
11:27Ah!
11:31Well, go on, then.
11:35Ring her up.
11:37Tell her we're not going to her Waterside Supper with Riparian Entertainments.
11:42I intend to.
11:43Don't worry.
11:43I'll tell her.
11:48Good morning, Mrs. Bouquet.
11:50It's the vicar here.
11:52Ah, good morning, vicar.
11:54About your...
11:56Waterside Supper with Riparian Entertainments.
12:00Thank you for your kind invitation, but...
12:02I'm so glad you can come.
12:05For one of the first on my invitation list,
12:08you'll really enjoy an elegant and leisurely evening by the river.
12:13I've been to my candlelight suppers.
12:16You know the sort of thing I do.
12:18Hello?
12:19Hello, vicar.
12:22Vicar, are you there?
12:27Oh, you must have been spirited away.
12:30The vicar's coming, Richard.
12:32He was so excited I could hardly get a word in.
12:39I wish you luck.
12:41I don't need luck.
12:43It's not a question of luck.
12:44It's simply a question of telling her we're not going.
12:47Exactly.
12:48I wish you luck.
13:01Emma!
13:03How nice of you to respond so promptly.
13:07Ah, about your, um...
13:09My Waterside Supper with Riparian Entertainment.
13:12That's the one.
13:13I knew you'd be excited.
13:16The thing is, I can't possibly...
13:18Thank me enough.
13:21Don't take that attitude, Emmett.
13:23You don't owe me any thanks.
13:24It'll be my great pleasure to have you there.
13:32Oh, coffee in ten minutes, Elizabeth.
13:36You'd start the coffee, Matt, you haven't.
13:38No, no, no, no.
13:40Hi, assistant.
13:41Oh, what a pity.
13:43Never mind.
13:44There's still my Riverside function to look forward to.
13:47Bye.
13:50Bye.
13:52Bye.
13:53Bye.
13:53Bye.
13:54Bye.
13:54Bye.
13:55Bye.
13:56Bye.
13:57Bye.
14:00Whatever he's building, why can't he build it outside?
14:03I've asked him that.
14:05What did he say?
14:06He says...
14:09Oh...
14:12He says he can't build it outside because it's a secret.
14:17How can he keep it secret if everybody sees it outside?
14:24Who's going to clean his bedroom when he's finished?
14:27I cleaned it last time.
14:29It wasn't full of sawdust, though, was it?
14:32Look, I don't mind dusting, but I think that sawdust is a man's job.
14:42Not in this house, it isn't.
14:48Well done, vicar.
14:50That's very tidy.
14:58Oh, what a leet nut.
15:01Oh, do be careful with my custom-made plastic picnicware, Richard.
15:07Where do you want it?
15:09Inside the car, I think.
15:19Hiacin.
15:19Yes, dear.
15:20Could you open the door, please?
15:22Just a minute, dear.
15:23I'm checking.
15:25Richard.
15:26Let me.
15:30There you are.
15:30Thanks.
15:41Yes, dear, what was it?
15:44That's mad in her.
15:47Now, where are the prawns?
15:49Where are the prawns?
15:51The prawns are here.
15:53The prawns are tying the furniture to the roof.
15:57Quiet, Emma.
15:57She'll hear you.
15:58If she does, it'll be for the first time.
16:00She never listens.
16:03Vicar, I believe you have the prawns.
16:06Do be careful with them.
16:07They're select Norwegian.
16:10Don't say it.
16:12Don't worry about those for a moment, Richard.
16:15We'll wait for my sister Violet's Mercedes.
16:18She'll have ample room for a table or two.
16:20After all, she does have room for a pony.
16:26Violet.
16:27Where are you, dear?
16:28You're late.
16:30Yes, well, we're all ready.
16:33I thought you could help us with the tables.
16:36It's my sister Violet.
16:38She's the one with the Mercedes sauna and a musical bidet.
16:44Classical, of course.
16:47Now, why is Bruce having a lie down?
16:50Well, wake him up.
16:51Get him up.
16:54What do you mean he can't stand up?
17:04Violet.
17:05If he has drunk all your sherry, dear, it's not the end of the world.
17:10Get a friend to drive you.
17:13In the same income bracket, of course.
17:17We'll meet you at the river next to the boatyard.
17:22What a waste of sherry.
17:23All the trifles she could have made.
17:26It should help.
17:28No, it can't be further back because...
17:31But I'm so glad someone's got room for a pony.
17:42Isn't she a little overdressed?
17:45It's only a picnic.
17:48Is everybody ready, then?
17:50Isn't this thrilling?
17:52Why did you put her in my parish?
17:55Drive carefully, Richard.
17:57Remember, upon you depends the safety of my select Norwegian prawns.
18:25It's much pompier than when we were here a few days ago.
18:28Are you concentrating, Richard?
18:29It's not me.
18:30It's the potholes.
18:31Well, mine the potholes.
18:34Mine in the potholes.
18:39My hat, Richard.
18:41Stop the car.
18:43I'll find it.
18:50Now, I'll find us a smoother way.
19:07Oh, what a temptation that must be.
19:18Oh, look.
19:20The river's over there.
19:21Come along.
19:35I'll drive you any time, Violet, as long as I don't have to wear a suit and a cap.
19:39You'd look great in a suit and cap.
19:44You'd look great in a suit and cap.
19:44You'd look great in a suit and cap.
19:44I'm more your casual dresser.
19:47Maximum chic for me is more your laid-back, slobby look.
19:57Shut the gate.
20:00I think of something else I'd like to shut.
20:07It's just round the next bend, a lovely secluded spot.
20:12You'll see.
20:13Well worth the effort.
20:16When I first saw it, I knew it was where I must hold my waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
20:25Off we go again.
20:27Sing, if you like.
20:36Why does she have to sing?
20:39What's she doing?
20:46We're almost there.
20:49You'll love it.
20:50I promise you.
20:52You'll really love it.
21:09Now what?
21:12Friends!
21:13I'm sorry to have to inform you that some hostile and inconsiderate person
21:20has seen fit to place a dredger at my chosen spot.
21:25Don't be faint-hearted.
21:28I have a solution.
21:30We shall go and commandeer some small craft,
21:33then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place
21:39for our waterside supper with riparian entertainment.
21:55I don't know where they could have got to.
21:57She said she'd meet us here.
21:59We weren't invited, Violet.
22:01You were invited by me.
22:04Well, we broke grub, so we might as well start our own picnic.
22:07Fair enough.
22:09I'll get the wine from the cooler.
22:12Have you got father's beer?
22:14He can have a beer when he tells us what he was inventing.
22:17I've asked him, but he won't tell me.
22:20Now we're never going to know.
22:23I hope it wasn't something that could have become a household name.
22:27Like your rose.
22:40Why is there a queue, Richard?
22:44This is a lock gauge.
22:46They're waiting to enter the lock.
22:48Lock?
22:49Has somebody lost the key, dear?
22:53Now, you mustn't be impatient.
22:55You simply have to wait until it's our turn.
22:59Nonsense.
23:00Overtake them, Richard.
23:02These people are probably all on holiday.
23:05They've all the time in the world.
23:07We're only here for a little while.
23:09We can't be waiting in queues.
23:12Thank you very much, holidaymakers.
23:24Richard, where have they locked us in?
23:26We've got to wait for the water level to drop.
23:29Well, I can't stay here and wait for the tide to go out.
23:33It's got nothing to do with the tide.
23:36They have to drain the water from the lock.
23:39Well, I think it's ridiculous.
23:40Why can't we go straight through?
23:42Because we're waiting for the lockkeeper.
23:45There he is now.
23:47See, he'll let the water out,
23:49and then very soon they'll allow us through.
24:00Ahoy there, lockkeeper!
24:03I must warn you that we've sailed on the QE2.
24:07As an experienced mariner,
24:09I'm not prepared to wait down here indefinitely.
24:14There must be a quicker way to go.
24:17You could try going over the weir.
24:21What do you think, Richard?
24:23Shall we try going over the weir?
24:36We won't be long now.
24:39We'll probably find somewhere just round the next corner.
24:43That's what she keeps saying.
24:46Pass it on.
24:48Won't be long now.
24:50We'll probably...
24:51Emmett!
24:52You're naughty.
24:53She won't ask you again.
24:57We'll probably find it just round the next corner.
25:01Are you all right?
25:03Ask me later.
25:04At the moment, I haven't got the energy to check.
25:07You know, when you watch the boat race,
25:09they seem to go quite fast.
25:12There are eight of them.
25:14Oh, yes.
25:16I suppose that must make a difference.
25:19They don't carry passengers
25:21and a six-course banquet.
25:24Are you starting to flag, Richard?
25:28Just a little.
25:29Would you like me to take over?
25:32No.
25:33Somehow, I don't think that's a very good idea, Hyacin.
25:36Well, they have lady rowers in the Olympics.
25:39We're not in the Olympics.
25:42It just feels as if we are.
25:46Well, at least let me share the burden.
25:50Oh, look!
25:54What's she doing?
25:55I don't know.
25:57She's going to help him.
25:58I wonder if Richard sees it that way.
26:01Here, I hope we'll be able to keep up.
26:04Now, do we do it together or take it in turns?
26:09Now, Hyacin.
26:10Now, there's no time to discuss it, dear.
26:12You start and I'll copy you.
26:16Well, watch.
26:41It's not very difficult when you know how.
26:44She's doing quite well.
26:46Come on, keep up him.
26:48It's not very difficult.
26:54It's not very difficult, isn't it, Richard?
26:58It's not very difficult.
27:08It's not very difficult, isn't it?
27:09It's not very difficult, Richard.
27:17But I must say, I enjoyed the riparian entertainments.
27:26Oh, there's that dishy Emmet.
27:29Hi, Liz.
27:31Onslow.
27:32Hello, Daisy.
27:33Hello, Daisy.
27:34Rose.
27:38Oh, there's that dishy Vicar.
27:42Evening, Vicar.
27:45Hello, Onslow.
27:46Sorry we can't stop.
27:56They've thrown her in.
27:58I bet somebody's just snapped.
28:03Just look at that stiff upper lip.
28:06You've got to admire that stiff upper lip.
28:35Thank you so much.ants,
28:37Jack. I mean,
28:38I wonder if he'smist. I'll neverows.
28:43Find them correctly. All
28:44uh-oh.
28:57Ard Bears. Good
28:58morning, dÃas.
29:00Onheelect, you
29:01children. Okay. We spend all
29:01easy. A day is just westward.
29:01Oh, I'm
29:02waiting for you. It's
29:03OK.
29:08Hello, welcome to England
29:11Hello, welcome to England
29:15Hello, welcome to England
29:18Hello, welcome to England
29:20Hello, welcome to England
29:23It's much more than fish and chips
29:25We've got chicks with a tits and a big filled lips
29:26Ballied up kids and a RS6
29:28Big two fiddies, small fiddies with a kick
29:30Bars with more grips that'll creep in your crib
29:32I smell bacon, I smell pigs
29:33Take the cash down, get into the whip
29:35Leeds road racing, I'm feeling like Hamilton
29:37Weed grows amazing, crops, yeah, I'm grabbing them
29:39Don't give a fuck in the truck and I'm ramming them
29:40For the West Yorkshire police here, it's gunning me