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00:06The Single New Yorker's Weekend is all about buying the latest bobe, fresh flowers, and
00:11gifts for previously single New Yorkers.
00:15Hi, I'm here for the Welker Wedding Registry.
00:18I'll take the Newport soup ladle and three bimini steak knives, the baby peckless, the
00:23burpee blanket.
00:24Okay, what is left?
00:26Fine, fine, I'll take four espresso cups and a pepper grinder.
00:29Yeah, okay, the little me activity chair.
00:34That night Stanford and I were invited to celebrate the arrival of baby boy Bronson, latest son
00:40of Kira and Chuck.
00:41Easy, baby girl.
00:42Sorry.
00:42Hey, what you got in there, Stanny?
00:44A Peter Rabbit dish set with matching bib.
00:47Dang, you snagged that?
00:49Aw, thanks to you I was left with the little me chair.
00:52Oh, and get this, I also got him a CD of Free To Be You and Me.
00:55I loved Marlo Thomas.
00:58I played that album all through the fifth grade.
01:00I wanted to run as fast as the wind.
01:02I played William wants a doll so many times, I almost turned my little sister into a gay
01:07man.
01:15Hey.
01:16Welcome to the party.
01:18I'm Margo, Kira's sister.
01:20The gifts go over on the table and the shoes go there.
01:26Oh.
01:27Well, Kira and Chuck don't like outside dirt coming in, the twins are always picking things
01:31up off the floor.
01:32But, this is an outfit.
01:36Uh huh.
01:36They'd really appreciate it.
01:38Margo!
01:44Good thing I wore my party socks.
01:47Geez, if I'd known I was going to be shoeless I would have compensated with a big hat or something.
01:53Okay.
01:55Well, now I'm so teeny I might bump my head on the coffee table.
02:00Watch out, little me.
02:02Our hostess, Kira Bronson, had made a name for herself in the early 90s, taking pictures
02:08of anorexic actresses on beds at the Chelsea Hotel.
02:11Hey, you too.
02:12Mwah.
02:12Oh.
02:13Now, she took pictures of fat babies in buckets.
02:15We come from the East, 70s, bearing gifts.
02:19Where's the blessed child?
02:20The baby.
02:21He's in his room.
02:21You can't miss him.
02:22He looks just like Chuck except without that sad close-up hole in his ear for when he pierced
02:25it in the 80s.
02:27Anyway, here.
02:28Oh, thank you.
02:29I've gotta go.
02:29Other people need drinks and by others, I mean me.
02:32Hey!
02:33Milo!
02:33A migrant!
02:34Ooh.
02:36Waiter.
02:36There's a baby in my drink.
02:38Look.
02:39Uptown, Miranda was putting her foot down in her co-op board meeting.
02:43Look, we all want to find the perfect tenant for 10G.
02:46All I'm asking is that we not prolong the interview.
02:48Whatever decision we make about Dr. Robert Leeds, let's make it quick.
02:52I've got a baby downstairs getting over the chickenpox.
02:55I have a cataract.
02:58Hello.
02:59Come in, won't you?
03:00Hi.
03:01Yes.
03:01Hi.
03:02Yes.
03:02And suddenly, Miranda wasn't so bored in her board meeting.
03:05Hi.
03:06I'm Miranda Hobbs.
03:08Hi.
03:08And this is everybody else.
03:11And I'm Robert Leeds.
03:13But you probably know that already.
03:14Along with my social security number and my jacket size.
03:20So, Robert, you're a doctor for the Knicks?
03:23Yeah.
03:24Guilty as charged.
03:25How long have you had that?
03:26Hey, you've had a great season.
03:28Hey, Ticket, you're not a basketball fan.
03:30Well, you've got me there.
03:32I'm a baseball person.
03:33Ah.
03:34Yankees or Mets?
03:34Please.
03:35Yankees.
03:36Ah.
03:37Should've known.
03:38And what is that supposed to mean?
03:40On page four of your tax return.
03:42Lynn, please.
03:43We'll get to it.
03:46Well, Miranda was playing a game of pick-up.
03:50You tell him I'll do depositions Friday, but only if my client is ready.
03:54Uh-huh.
03:55Charlotte was picking up as well.
03:57Exactly.
03:58What, are you gonna push me on this?
04:00Don't push me.
04:01Don't push me.
04:01Because if you push me, then I push back.
04:03I don't have to produce my client for this, you know.
04:05Charlotte knew when Harry moved in, he would unpack his bags.
04:08Exactly.
04:09She wasn't expecting the tea bags.
04:11Good.
04:12And everything else?
04:14Why are you hocking me on this?
04:15Can you not hear what I'm saying to you?
04:17Let me repeat this slower.
04:19Open your ears.
04:19Ready?
04:20Because here it comes.
04:21I don't think so.
04:23Clear?
04:23One tax return and a half hour of eyelash batting later.
04:27It was really nice to meet you.
04:28You too.
04:30And, um, I won't hold that meds thing against you.
04:35I appreciate that.
04:40Well, he's perfect.
04:43Frankly, I am concerned about his financials.
04:46His alimony payments are awfully high.
04:48And he's never owned before.
04:50You people are crazy.
04:51It's the single ones who always throw the wild parties with all the girls.
04:57Okay.
04:58I think we all know what's not being said here.
05:03The unspoken thing was that Robert was cute and Miranda was horny.
05:10And then we saw the most amazing house in Sacramento.
05:13I swear I had no idea who we were bidding against.
05:16Oh, you liar.
05:17You two know everything.
05:19That's true.
05:19We got the house.
05:21But we could not get a table at Nick and Tony's for the rest of the summer.
05:27Well, it's getting late.
05:29Oh, my.
05:30We have held you guys captive.
05:31No, no.
05:32We've had a swell time.
05:33It's just...
05:34It's midnight.
05:35He's gay.
05:35He has to start his night.
05:38Anyway, congrats on the baby.
05:40Thanks.
05:40Yeah, he's just...
05:41Precious.
05:42Okay.
05:43Bye.
05:43Bye.
05:44Nice to meet you.
05:45And of course, our landscaper takes off with half of our trees.
05:48We might have been one foot out the door, but my shoes appeared to have already left.
05:53Oh, my God.
05:54What is that?
05:56And I told her, that's what you get for stealing Billy Joe's firewood.
06:00Hi.
06:01Uh, was there another room for the shoes?
06:03No.
06:04Uh-uh.
06:05Well, mine seemed to have gone missing.
06:09That's crazy.
06:12God, Carrie.
06:13I'm sorry.
06:14I just can't imagine where your shoes went.
06:16You know, Jennifer was wearing sandals.
06:18Perhaps she took yours by mistake.
06:20Well, actually, they weren't sandals.
06:22They were Manolo's.
06:24I'm sure they'll turn up.
06:25I can loan you some shoes to go home in.
06:36They say you shouldn't judge until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes.
06:41I made it six blocks.
06:45The next day, over dessert, I was still not over the fact that my shoes had deserted me.
06:51These were new Manolo's.
06:52I hadn't even done a full lap around the party.
06:54And you know, I don't play favorites with my shoes, but these were very special.
06:59Who would steal shoes from a party?
07:01Someone size seven with excellent taste?
07:04Why in hell did you take your shoes off to begin with?
07:06We had to.
07:08For their kids.
07:09Apparently, we dragged things in on our heels that make children sick.
07:12Please, it's children who drag the germs around.
07:14Brady got the chicken pox courtesy of some kid who licked him at the playground.
07:18Oh, my God.
07:20Kira must have been mortified.
07:21Actually, I kept waiting for the mortification that never came.
07:25She just said they might turn up and sent me home.
07:26Those shoes are not turning up anywhere but a pawn shop in Brooklyn.
07:30Oh, stop.
07:30I'm gonna cry in my flan.
07:33So that's it?
07:35They're just gone?
07:36Boo-hoo?
07:37Well, legally, she owes you for them.
07:39I can't ask her to pay for my shoes.
07:41Why not?
07:42If you gave a party and told her to leave her baby outside in the hall, and her baby was
07:47missing at the end of the night, believe me, there'd be payback.
07:50That is the craziest thing I've ever heard.
07:52Children are not shoes.
07:54I know, I know.
07:55I'm not saying it.
07:56You have every right to be upset about your shoes.
07:58I am so sick of these people with their children.
08:00I'm telling you, they're everywhere.
08:02Sitting next to me in first class.
08:04Eating at the next table at John's show.
08:06Look at that.
08:08This place is for double cappuccinos, not double strollers.
08:13I'm sorry.
08:14Hey, no need to apologize.
08:15I wouldn't bring Brady here.
08:17Mommy needs two hands to eat an eight dollar cake.
08:20You're not gonna defend children?
08:22No.
08:22I don't like any children but my own.
08:24Look at that dirty little rug rug.
08:27That's just chocolate.
08:28All children are beautiful, but not as beautiful as Brady.
08:32That's true.
08:33Hey, so how goes the big matrimonial move in?
08:36Good.
08:37Harry's moved most of his stuff in.
08:39It's going well.
08:40And I'm just trying to learn to compromise,
08:42because sometimes I can be a little rigid.
08:45No.
08:46That's not true at all.
08:47There's just one thing and it's small,
08:49but it really grosses me out.
08:51We have a tea bag situation.
08:53Oh, I understand.
08:55Just breathe through your nose.
09:00When you're sucking his balls.
09:01What?
09:02No.
09:03I was talking about Harry leaves his old tea bags around the house.
09:07Oh, I thought you meant tea bagging.
09:09When you hold a guy's balls in your mouth.
09:11Oh.
09:12Why is it called...
09:13Oh, I get it.
09:15Because they hang.
09:16Shh.
09:17And the dipping.
09:18Oh, great.
09:19Now I've lost my shoes and my appetite.
09:22Very good.
09:24You know what I love about living with you?
09:26Besides those nutty little soaps in the bathroom.
09:29What?
09:29Living with you.
09:35Honey.
09:37I need to talk to you.
09:39What's up, baby?
09:40I really don't mean to be a nag, but it's just...
09:44Well...
09:44It's this.
09:46Tea?
09:48Tea bags.
09:49You leave them all over the house and...
09:51And will they stain?
09:52And maybe you could just try to be a little more careful.
09:54Damn.
09:54I thought I was doing so well, too.
09:56What do you mean?
09:57Well, I've been really trying to watch my ass, you know, now that I'm living in your house.
10:00It's our house now.
10:01I want you to be yourself.
10:02Yeah.
10:03Well...
10:04Myself is pretty much a bull in a china shop.
10:06And then you're a bull in our china shop.
10:11It's a bull.
10:14I get it.
10:15Just making sure.
10:15I get it.
10:22Hold it.
10:23Oh, oh.
10:25Hey, Yankee.
10:29Welcome to the building.
10:30I have a feeling you had a little something to do with that.
10:33Let's just say you owe me big time.
10:42You have a puck.
10:44What?
10:45On your face.
10:46Right there.
10:47Oh, my God.
10:49I must have gotten it for my kid.
10:51Oh, I thought you were single.
10:52I am.
10:54It was the perfect first conversation.
10:57Minus the puck.
11:01All right.
11:02Give me the lotion and cotton balls.
11:03Stat.
11:05You don't really say stat.
11:07No, but it sounds good, doesn't it?
11:09Hey, so it's the little germ disseminator.
11:11Also known as Brady.
11:13Run while you're still breathing.
11:15No, no, it's okay.
11:15Hey, I had a chicken pot when I was four.
11:17Hey, where are you going?
11:18Hi.
11:19Hey, there.
11:20Ch-ch-ch-ch.
11:21Hey, he's a winner.
11:23I really want one of these someday.
11:27He looks just like you.
11:28You think?
11:28Oh, yeah.
11:32Okay, Mom.
11:34Here we go.
11:36You know, I could do this myself.
11:38Yeah, but I'm a professional.
11:42Oh, Magda, this is Dr. Robert Leeds.
11:45He's moving in upstairs.
11:46Hey.
11:47Nice to meet you.
11:49I'll take a baby from that.
11:50Okay.
11:53Oh, hey, hey.
11:54You got another one?
11:55Hmm.
11:58Okay, Ms. Hobbs, I think you'll live.
12:00But no scratching.
12:02Doctor's orders.
12:02Okie doke.
12:03For Miranda, Robert was just what the doctor ordered.
12:08Hey, Carrie.
12:09What a surprise.
12:10Well, I was in the neighborhood.
12:11I thought you might want these back.
12:13Oh, you didn't have to return these.
12:14I had forgotten all about them.
12:17Any news on my shoes?
12:19You don't know.
12:20It's weird.
12:24So, this Jennifer, did you ever find her sandals?
12:27What?
12:28Well, if she took my shoes, she would have left her sandals.
12:32Just being a bit of a shoe detective here.
12:35I haven't heard from her.
12:38Oh.
12:40Oh, my gosh, Carrie.
12:42I am such a shit.
12:43I should have offered to pay you for them.
12:44No, no.
12:45You don't have to do that.
12:46You know, you have kids and you lose all sense of social decency.
12:49Come in.
12:50Okay.
13:01Milo, honey, put your trucks back for mommy.
13:04Okay.
13:06So, um, how much were they?
13:09485.
13:11Come on, Carrie.
13:12That's insane.
13:14Well, that's what they cost.
13:17I'll give you $200.
13:20Okay.
13:21This is an awkward conversation.
13:23I'm sorry.
13:23I just think that's crazy to spend that much on shoes.
13:26You know how much Manolas are.
13:27You used to wear Manolas.
13:29Sure.
13:29Before I had a real life.
13:31But Chuck and I have responsibilities now.
13:33Kids, houses.
13:35485.
13:36Like, wow.
13:37Pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay.
13:41I have a real life.
13:42No offense, Carrie, but I really don't think we should have to pay for your extravagant lifestyle.
13:46I mean, it was your choice to buy shoes that expensive.
13:50Yes, but it wasn't my choice to take them off.
13:53They're just shoes.
13:56Shoes.
13:59She shoe shamed me.
14:00I left there covered in shame.
14:02She's a fucking bitch.
14:04But she isn't.
14:04That's the thing.
14:05She's become this whole other person.
14:07It's like she's had two cesareans and a lobotomy.
14:11She owes you for those shoes.
14:13No, it's not about the money.
14:14I don't care about the money.
14:15I'm talking about a woman's right to shoes.
14:19Why did she have to shame me?
14:21Because she's trapped in a hell of her own making.
14:24No, wait.
14:25That's me.
14:28I am dying to scratch these, but if I do, it'll be worse.
14:33How are they today?
14:34Biblical.
14:35There's literally a pox on my house.
14:38If there wasn't a Jules and Mimi marathon on BBC America this weekend, I'd have jumped out the window.
14:43Hey, speaking of handsome black men, have you spotted any more of Dr. Nix?
14:48Don't say spot.
14:49No, as a leper I'm laying low, but according to my sources he's officially in the building.
14:55Hey, is it bad that my life is filled with shoes and not children?
14:58Stop it!
14:59And she is a fucking bitch for making you feel this way.
15:03Oh, God.
15:05When we were young, Marlo Thomas sang to us about accepting each other and our differences.
15:10But then we got older and started singing a different tune.
15:13We stopped celebrating each other's life choices and started qualifying them.
15:17Is acceptance really such a childish concept, or did we have it right all along?
15:24When did we stop being free to be you and me?
15:30The next morning, Charlotte learned just how free the real Harry could be.
15:34The shark hands.
15:36Pretty teeth, dear.
15:38And he shows them, uh-huh-huh, pearly white.
15:42Da-da-da-da-da-da.
15:44Morning.
15:49Are you gonna take a shower?
15:51In a little while.
15:58Some people intend to have ice in their veins.
16:01For John Snyder, it's easy to be ice cream.
16:04The 39-year-old is the founder of El Apicorio Del Gelato.
16:08A shop on Manhattan's Lower East Side.
16:13Apparently, it took next to nothing to make Harry feel comfortable.
16:21Charlotte felt completely trapped.
16:23She wanted to see Harry be himself in her home.
16:27She just didn't need to see that much of him.
16:32Meanwhile, I decided to bear all to Kira.
16:39Hello?
16:40Hey!
16:40Hi, Kira, it's Kari.
16:42Listen, um, I feel weird about what happened the other day.
16:45We've been friends a really long time, and...
16:48I just, I want to clear the air.
16:51Oh, my God, Kari, I had forgotten about that days ago.
16:54Well, I didn't.
16:55I've been thinking a lot about it, and...
16:57Matt, you must have a lot of time on your hands.
17:00Milo!
17:00Hands stay on!
17:02I'm serious!
17:02Penises stay in the bathroom!
17:04Kari, can you hold on for one second?
17:05I'll be right back.
17:06Thanks.
17:11Hello?
17:13Hello, Sansa?
17:18You know what?
17:19I am Sansa.
17:21I did a little mental addition, and over the years, I have bought Kira an engagement gift,
17:25a wedding gift, then there was the trip to Maine for the wedding, three baby gifts in total.
17:30I have spent over $2,300 celebrating her choices, and she is shaming me for spending a lousy $485 on
17:40myself?
17:42Yes, I did the math.
17:43But those were gifts, and...
17:45I mean, if you got married or had a child, she would spend the same on you?
17:49And if I don't ever get married or have a baby, what?
17:52I get bupkis?
17:54Think about it.
17:55If you are single after graduation, there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you.
18:00We have birthdays.
18:01Oh, no, no, no, no.
18:02We all have birthdays.
18:03That's a wash.
18:04I am talking about the single gal.
18:07Hallmark doesn't make a, uh, congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy card.
18:13And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?
18:17You're right.
18:17Uh-huh.
18:18Why should I get wedding gifts?
18:20Finding Harry was gifted enough.
18:21No, no, no, no.
18:23I'm thrilled to give you gifts to celebrate your life.
18:26I just think it stinks that single people are left out of it.
18:29So the moral of the story appears to be, until I get married, I won't be seeing nothing from Kira.
18:34Oh.
18:35That's a pistachio.
18:36It's so good. You want that?
18:37Yeah.
18:38Meanwhile, Samantha was trying to have a working lunch.
18:43Can I just want another bite?
18:44Yeah, we got cut off.
18:45Look, I need to get him three VIP seats, and-
18:48Look at you.
18:49Look at you eating your pesto.
18:52Ooh.
18:54Hmm.
18:55No, I don't want any shitty house seats.
18:57Listen to me.
18:58Who's a big boy?
18:59No, I can't have any-
19:00Excuse me.
19:01We don't allow cell phones.
19:03Are you kidding me?
19:04No.
19:04I'll call you back.
19:07I understand that my cell phone may be annoying to some, but what are you doing about-
19:11That noise.
19:16There's nothing we can do about that.
19:18That's a child.
19:20And that was all Samantha had to hear.
19:24Oh.
19:26Hello.
19:27I understand that your child and I have to co-exist in this city, but perhaps you could
19:32take him somewhere more appropriate for a happy meal, so I could have a happier one.
19:37Seamus, that wasn't very nice.
19:43Well, I've made my point, and he's made his.
19:48If you see a monster that's smart, that is real.
19:54And it's-
19:56Honey!
19:58Honey!
20:01Hello, beautiful.
20:03Hi.
20:04Do you know what we need to bring back in this house?
20:07Cocktail hour.
20:11Charlotte realized there was something grosser than tea bags all over her house.
20:17Her husband's tea bags all over her new white couch.
20:20Barry!
20:21What?
20:22No, I- I feel bad.
20:25About what?
20:27Well, I'm trying to be less frigid, and I really do want you to be yourself in our house.
20:31I know you do, and I appreciate it.
20:33And I'm almost used to the whole naked thing.
20:39Ah!
20:39I knew it was too much.
20:41It's just me.
20:42But I can put on clothes.
20:43No!
20:45I want you to be yourself.
20:46It's just, maybe you could put something between yourself and the white couch.
20:52Oh, I get it.
20:53We got kind of an ass white couch situation here.
20:56I will put on shorts.
20:58Could you?
20:59Of course.
21:00Oh.
21:05Now?
21:11Love you.
21:28Miranda, you in there?
21:32I can see your feet under the door.
21:35Damn.
21:35Come on, I just came by to check up on you.
21:37I'm fine.
21:38Hey, I've seen it all.
21:39I'm a doctor, remember?
21:45I'm fine.
21:47Come on in.
21:48Oh, it's not that bad.
21:50Hey, I've seen a seven foot tall man's shin bone poking through his calf, so...
21:54Hey, where's Brady?
21:55Oh, he's asleep.
21:57Oh, that's too bad.
21:58I wanted to give him this.
21:59Oh, I'm pretty sure his hand-eye coordination is still a little sub-par to make the team.
22:04If he's gonna go pro, you gotta start him young.
22:07What are you watching?
22:08Oh, it's just Jules and Mimi.
22:10It's silly.
22:11Yeah?
22:12What's it about?
22:14Well, that's Mimi.
22:16She's the landlord, and right next to her there is Jules, and they've slept together a couple of times, but
22:22Jules may be involved with the girl who works in the sausage shop.
22:25Hmm.
22:25In a nutshell.
22:26Well, he seems to be pretty into it now.
22:28Yeah.
22:28I'm intrigued.
22:32Really?
22:32My cable's not hooked up yet.
22:41Jules, you know, you didn't have to bring the rent over in person.
22:45It's a few two stops between friends, eh?
22:47I love a brother with an accent.
22:49Do you think we'll stay friends after this?
22:51I hope not.
23:05Oh, Mimi.
23:08It's so soft.
23:14That night I decided I couldn't wait for a ring.
23:17And so, I gave someone else one.
23:23This is Milo.
23:24This is Allegra.
23:25Mommy and Daddy and Baby Henry and us are in here.
23:30Leave a message.
23:33Hi, it's Carrie Bradshaw.
23:36I wanted to let you know that I'm getting married.
23:39To myself.
23:41Oh, and I'm registered at Manolo Blahnik.
23:44So thanks. Bye.
23:47One giant step for me, one small step for single womankind.
23:55Here they are.
23:57That's all she registered for?
23:59Uh-huh. That'll be 485.
24:03Plus acts.
24:05And could you please watch your children?
24:07We don't want them touching the shoes.
24:09Thanks.
24:34It was my very first wedding present.
24:39The fact is, sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes.
24:43That's why we need really special ones now and then, to make the walk a little more fun.
24:54I didn't go to my high school reunion, so when my high school sweetheart called me for a reunion,
24:59I was curious to see if he looked like the boy I used to make out with in front of
25:03my locker.
25:04Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to chemistry class?
25:06Actually, he looked better.
25:08Oh, my God.
25:11Jeremy, wow.
25:13That's my name. Don't wear it out.
25:14Oh, wow.
25:15Wow. You look great.
25:17I knew you look great because I saw you on the cover of your book.
25:20Oh.
25:20But I have to say even better in person.
25:22Oh, God. I'm so glad you called.
25:24I'm going to be spending the month in Connecticut, so I had to look you up.
25:28Wow.
25:28Well, how are you? I heard that you married somebody that you met in business school.
25:32Yeah, no, I got divorced like two years ago.
25:34Really miscalculated that one.
25:36Uh-huh.
25:36So I'm on my own again.
25:38Oh, um.
25:40How about you? Are you seeing anybody?
25:43Nope. Wide open.
25:44How is that possible?
25:45Well, my high school boyfriend spoiled me for life.
25:48Right. Me and my AMC Pacer.
25:51Oh, the Pacer. Oh, man.
25:54I put our names down for a table.
25:57Oh, great.
25:57But earlier you said maybe you might have dinner plans.
26:00Oh.
26:01Was that in case I turned out to be a...
26:04Yeah, maybe.
26:05But my fictional plans fell through, so I'm available.
26:12Miranda had no plans that night, so she was thrilled when her cute new neighbor stopped by.
26:17Hey.
26:17Oh, hey.
26:19I didn't think you'd be home on a Saturday night.
26:21Motherhood.
26:23So what's my excuse?
26:25I just got Brady to sleep.
26:27Now, do you sing to him?
26:28Only if he's been bad.
26:31Listen, I have these two courtside seats for Nick's charity game at the Garden next Friday night.
26:37Would you want to go?
26:38I would love to.
26:39Great.
26:42Great. I'll look for you there.
26:43Oh, okay. Thanks so much.
26:48Good night.
26:49You too.
26:51Miranda wasn't sure if it was a charity game or just charity.
26:56Hey. I didn't even ask what you were doing in Connecticut.
26:59Nothing.
27:00Well, for a change.
27:01I spent the last decade working my ass off in Denver, so I decided to take a month off.
27:08Spend some time at sea level.
27:10So I've just been relaxing in the country, sorting through some things, you know?
27:14Yeah.
27:15Sometimes you need to get away.
27:18Sometimes you wonder why you stayed away so long.
27:26Well?
27:27This is my place.
27:31It's a nice place.
27:32Yeah.
27:33I love it here.
27:37I feel like I want to kiss you, but I don't know what...
27:42I know. It's very unclear.
27:44Yeah. I mean, this isn't a first date. We've already dated.
27:47And we've kissed.
27:48Many times.
27:49Hours.
27:50We were in a lip lock for most of 1982.
27:54So, um...
27:56What's for more kiss?
28:01Oh, you mean business.
28:21It's a lot better without the gear shift sticking up my ass.
28:27It was a romantic, hot summer night.
28:31Followed by a miserable, hot summer day, which was the 14th miserable hot summer day in a row.
28:37Samantha Jones!
28:39How are you?
28:40Oh, great, Phoebe! How are you?
28:42Oh, my, my.
28:44Refreshed.
28:44We just dropped by the Soho house for a dip.
28:46Oh.
28:46I mean, what else can you possibly do in this heat?
28:49Sit by the pool and drink cocktails while they mist you with Evian.
28:54Isn't it the best?
28:55Oh, it's fabulous.
28:56I'm running to a lunch.
28:57Otherwise, I'd be up there myself.
29:00Toodles.
29:01There's a pool a block from my apartment, and I can't get in.
29:04What pool?
29:05At the Soho house.
29:06You have to be a member, and I'm on some kind of bullshit wait list.
29:09Don't they know who you are?
29:10And more importantly, who we are, who need to be at the pool with you.
29:14You know, in high school, all you had to do was jump a fence, and you could be in somebody's
29:18pool.
29:18Oh, speaking of high school, I saw my high school sweetheart, and I think I might like him again.
29:26Is that crazy?
29:28No, I love this.
29:29You could end up with your high school boyfriend.
29:31Okay, let's not jump the gun.
29:33But it was the best date that I've had in a long time, and I wasn't even thinking that it
29:37was a date.
29:37Oh, and when he kissed me goodnight.
29:39He kissed you goodnight?
29:42I, it was wild, because I actually remembered what it felt like to kiss him.
29:47Imagine if you slept with him.
29:49Talk about a homecoming.
29:51No, we never went all the way.
29:54Why not?
29:54Because we were kids.
29:55We wanted to wait.
29:57And now, I think we waited long enough.
30:00You're marrying him.
30:01Will you stop?
30:02He doesn't even live in New York.
30:03He lives in Denver.
30:04People move.
30:05It would be so romantic.
30:07Or tragic.
30:08Seriously, if I had the guy in high school, what have I been doing for the past 20 years?
30:14Why did you two break up?
30:14I broke up because I thought, come on, there must be better guys out there.
30:18Turns out, there aren't.
30:21That night, I started thinking about my retro relationship.
30:25Since high school, most women I know have acquired much better taste in clothes, hairstyles, and food.
30:30But what about in men?
30:35Maybe we were better off when we thought less and kissed more.
30:39Have we graduated past our ability to find true love when it comes to matters of the heart?
30:45Did we have it right in high school?
30:50Samantha was too cool to belong to any clubs in high school, so she refused to believe that any club
30:55was too cool for her now.
30:57Especially since New York in August is not cool at all.
31:00May I help you?
31:01I hope so.
31:02I'd like to know what's holding up my membership.
31:04I've been on the wait list since June.
31:06Yes, I'm sorry, but we are not currently admitting any new members.
31:09The pool is so fabulous, we're at capacity every day.
31:14Do you know who I am?
31:17No, I don't, but we can't accommodate you right now.
31:21Well, can I at least use the restroom before I go, or is there a wait list for that as
31:24well?
31:25Down the car door on your left, the door marked WC.
31:38Miss, did you leave your car on the sink?
31:41Oh, yes.
31:42Yes, I did.
31:44Thank you so much.
31:45Since they didn't seem to know who she was at the Soho house, she figured she could be Annabelle Bronstein.
32:02Excuse me.
32:04Can I get you something to drink, Miss Bronstein?
32:07Yes, but I'll just pay cash.
32:11And please, call me Annabelle.
32:16Meanwhile, a fight was about to break out in the cafeteria.
32:19But this time, cafeteria was a trendy restaurant in Chelsea.
32:26God, I hate him.
32:28Come on, we're going over there.
32:30Why?
32:31Because you're in a tank top.
32:32Really?
32:34Hi.
32:35Oh, hi.
32:36You were here?
32:37What a small world.
32:38That's Chelsea for you.
32:39Can't swing a dick without running into someone you know.
32:44Well, we'd love to stay and chat, but we have to go get our tuxes for the prom.
32:48Did you say the prom?
32:50Yes, it's a big fundraiser at the Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender Center.
32:54I'm on the decorations committee.
32:56What's the theme?
32:57Queer and Queerer?
32:59I have the best memories of my prom.
33:02I was the prom queen.
33:03Of course you were, darling.
33:05I missed my prom in high school because...
33:07You were gay.
33:09No.
33:10My girlfriend and I broke up the night before because...
33:12You were gay.
33:14No, I wasn't gay until...
33:16You were born?
33:19Never mind.
33:21Goodbye, Charlotte.
33:23Bye.
33:24Bye, Marcus.
33:28Those two should be going to the Gay, Lesbian, and Prostitute prom.
33:32Be nice.
33:33What?
33:34I happen to know that Marcus used to be a gay escort.
33:37He was not.
33:38Oh, honey, wake up and smell the KY.
33:41I was flipping through a vintage issue of Honcho.
33:43I saw his ad in the Roncho section.
33:45He called himself Paul.
33:46Worst hustler name I ever heard.
33:49He and Stanford are in love.
33:51Yeah, well, according to Honcho, he used to be in love all over town.
33:54You are mistaken.
33:56There's a picture.
33:57I'll send you the ad.
33:58I don't want to see it.
33:59I'm sending it, prom queen.
34:00What can I get?
34:01Cute waiter.
34:05I wish I didn't know this.
34:08Number five, Fishman, Reclatius Ellis.
34:11Do you think Stanford knows?
34:12Probably not, so maybe we shouldn't talk about it in Madison Square Garden.
34:18I don't think that these people know those people.
34:22The foul is George Durand.
34:24Look at how cute he is.
34:26He is gracious.
34:28His third, T-Sports.
34:31He looked amazing.
34:32Did you just see him looking like that?
34:33He totally likes you.
34:35You think?
34:35Look at these seats.
34:37You're right.
34:38These seats are too good to be casual.
34:41Time out, New York.
34:43Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the next City Dancers.
34:47Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader?
34:49No.
34:50Because you knew I would mock you.
35:15Did you used to do that?
35:17No, we just did some herkies and some kicks.
35:26Oh, my God.
35:34What is she doing?
35:35The blonde one in front.
35:44She's flirting with your boyfriend?
35:46She is not my boyfriend.
35:50Is she, like, 21?
35:53It was Friday night.
35:55It was the big game.
35:56And Miranda was jealous of the cheerleader.
36:01Two hours later, the game ended, and Miranda felt like the loser.
36:06Okay, let's just go.
36:08No!
36:09You have to go over there and talk to him.
36:10He's talking to her.
36:11You are better than her.
36:13Go on.
36:14You can do it.
36:15Are you going to do a herky now?
36:17Just you go over there and flirt a little bit.
36:21Go, go.
36:25The Dix-O-Madison Square Garden thank you for coming.
36:27Have a safe trip home.
36:28That's it.
36:29I'm out.
36:31Meanwhile, I invited Jeremy to come over and watch a movie,
36:34which in high school was code for come over and make out.
36:38And happily, it still was.
36:41Oh, I got to run.
36:42Last train leaves in half an hour.
36:45I think you should stay.
36:47I think we should go all the way.
36:50All the way?
36:51We never did.
36:52And now we can.
36:53And your mother won't walk in with her laundry and her tab.
36:58That's true.
37:00But Carrie, I need to be honest with you about something.
37:03That's the worst thing you can hear from someone you really like.
37:07I'm not really just taking time off.
37:09I'm, uh, I'm sort of in a, uh, mental institution.
37:19No, actually, that's the worst thing you can hear.
37:50I wanted a man who would commit, not a man who was committed.
37:51To go through to date.
37:53I am 38, and I am competing with a cheerleader.
37:56Yeah, and even when you get the guy, you never know what fun surprise might be revealed.
38:00Let me tell you something, ladies.
38:02In a good relationship, there are no surprises.
38:05I know everything about Marcus, and Marcus knows everything about me.
38:14I don't think he knows everything.
38:17What?
38:20What?
38:22Charlotte, like all girls, learned at an early age that the only way to get rid of information you don't
38:27want to have is to pass it on.
38:30Oh, my God.
38:31Is this real?
38:33Anthony found it in an old issue of Poncho Magazine.
38:36Let me see that.
38:38Oh, my.
38:40Marcus?
38:42What is that?
38:44Nothing.
38:46Okay, hand it over.
38:49Okay, hand it over.
38:56Where did this come from?
39:00Someone better tell me where this came from right now.
39:02I'm not kidding.
39:03I got it from Carrie.
39:04I got it from Miranda.
39:06I got it from Charlotte.
39:07I got it from Anthony, but I told him that you and Marcus were very much in love.
39:10Charlotte was still a cheerleader for love, but like the Knicks,
39:14her team was having a bad season.
39:16Well, you think you know somebody.
39:22Excuse me, which one of you is Annabelle Bronstein?
39:25I am.
39:26Well, that's impossible.
39:28Miss Bronstein is in London for the week.
39:31No, I am Annabelle Bronstein.
39:34And she's British.
39:37As I was saying, dear sir, I am Annabelle Bronstein.
39:42I'm fairly certain you are not Annabelle.
39:44I've spoken to her on the phone.
39:46I am absolutely Annabelle Bronstein.
39:49And I do not pay 900 American dollars annually to be treated like this.
39:55Now, ring round the waiter and have him tally up the drinks.
39:59What's with the accent?
40:01She's got a case of a madonna.
40:03I'm sorry, but I know for a fact that Annabelle lost her card.
40:08Yes, I thought I did, but it was on top of the telly.
40:13And Miss Bronstein is from Sussex, as am I.
40:17And I'd venture to guess that you are not, in fact, from the UK.
40:21Well, that's true.
40:23I was raised in Inja.
40:26On any given day, there are a lot of versions of crazy right here in New York.
40:30Today, Annabelle Bronstein had multiple personalities and at least two accents.
40:38Hey, Hobbs.
40:40Where'd you disappear to after the game?
40:42Oh, I was gonna thank you, but you were talking to that girl.
40:46What girl?
40:47Some cheerleader.
40:51Do you like her?
40:53No.
40:56I like someone else.
41:00You.
41:01This cheered Miranda up immediately.
41:04Now, see, how would I know that?
41:09Well, would it be any clearer if I did this?
41:26Hi, Mrs. McAfee.
41:26Hello, Mr. McAfee.
41:31I wanted you to have these.
41:34Marbles.
41:35In case I lose any more of mine, I want to know where I can find a stash.
41:38How are you?
41:39Do you want to come in?
41:40She asked with trepidation.
41:42No, I think it's great what you're doing.
41:43I know I probably threw you for a loop the other day, but I should probably just come right
41:48out and say something about this.
41:50But the truth is, I haven't worked out my wrap on it yet.
41:53Well, it's a tough thing to slip in.
41:55Yeah, it is.
41:56Hi, I might be crazy.
41:58Would you like to share an appetizer?
42:01The thing is, I think I made it sound worse than it is.
42:04You know, if you saw Juno Spears, you'd see that it's not Cuckoo's Nest.
42:07It's more like, it's like Canyon Ranch for the brain.
42:10Do they have Pilates?
42:12They do have Pilates.
42:14I don't want to lie to you.
42:15I am going through some pretty heavy stuff.
42:18I mean, soul searching, really.
42:21Trying to figure out why some things seem to be harder for me than they are for other
42:26people.
42:27I think my family has something to do with it.
42:30It's always good to blame the parents, right?
42:32Right.
42:32So I figured I could spend the next five years in therapy or just spend the next month
42:36and really deal with it intensively right now.
42:38It's just more efficient.
42:39Well, you make a very good case.
42:41That's what my doctors say.
42:43No, that's it.
42:45Ta-da.
42:45I just wanted to explain myself so that I didn't become known eternally as that nutcase you
42:52dated back in high school.
42:53How about my high school boyfriend who was the best kisser ever?
42:56I could live with that.
42:58You're not bad yourself either, you know?
43:01That night, we went all the way and we weren't the only ones.
43:05Rolling, rolling, rolling on a river.
43:15The next afternoon, my other crazy boyfriend stopped by.
43:19It's true.
43:20Marcus was a gay escort.
43:22But he's been off the market since 1992.
43:24So you talked about it?
43:25Yes.
43:26And he says he did it just to put himself through dance classes.
43:30But if that's true, then why keep it a secret?
43:33Maybe he was embarrassed.
43:35Yes, but it's not the escort thing, but the secret thing that's bothering me.
43:40I was the last to know.
43:41I don't want to hear the truth from some bitchy queen with back issues of honcho.
43:46Well, so we broke up.
43:49Well, Stanny, really?
43:51Yes.
43:53And right before the prom.
43:55And I still have to go because I'm on the decorations committee.
43:58And I have no date again.
44:01When is it?
44:02Tomorrow night.
44:04Will you please, please, please go with me?
44:06I can't.
44:07I have to visit my boyfriend at the asylum.
44:09Of course you do.
44:10He wants me to see the place for myself.
44:13It's supposed to be like Canyon Ranch.
44:15Honey.
44:16I know.
44:17But I like him.
44:18You'd have to.
44:19And who are we to say he's got issues, he's getting help?
44:22Usually that's considered a good thing.
44:23And it's New York.
44:24Everybody's insane.
44:26You slept with him, didn't you?
44:27Yes.
44:29Oh, that's where the problems begin.
44:31You sleep with someone and you start rationalizing away all the red flags.
44:36At least he was honest about it.
44:38Yes.
44:39Unlike Paul.
44:53Apparently, the Juno Spear Center was harder than the Soho House to get into.
44:57Or out of.
45:06Even as a visitor, I could see how this was a very relaxing place to get away to.
45:12It's kind of nice, huh?
45:13There are great hiking trails all around here.
45:16Maybe later we can do a hike.
45:18Oh, I don't really hike.
45:20Neither do I.
45:21But I will fill you in on something I discovered.
45:25Hiking is walking.
45:27Really?
45:28Yes, hiking is walking.
45:29I started to think, maybe the Juno Spear Center should be mandatory for New Yorkers.
45:34Like the Hamptons or Fire Island.
45:36Faces!
45:37Faces!
45:38Faces!
45:39Get it!
45:40Faces!
45:44Faces!
45:45Faces!
45:46Faces!
45:47I guess that doesn't happen very often at Canyon Ranch, huh?
45:50I've never been.
45:52It might.
45:53Who am I kidding?
45:54This is a full-on psychiatric facility.
45:56With Pilates.
46:00You're definitely the sanest person here.
46:02Well, thank you.
46:03That's kind of like being the best house on a bad block.
46:05People would advise you against buying it.
46:08Maybe it wasn't the wisest thing to start something while I was still in here.
46:14Maybe when I get out in eight to ten months.
46:19Eight to ten months?
46:21Yeah, my doctor still thinks I have a lot of work to do.
46:24Huh?
46:26And to be honest with you, I'm comfortable here.
46:28I kind of like it.
46:28I like that everybody's craziness is out in the open.
46:35Yeah.
46:38Well, I love seeing you.
46:40I love seeing you again.
46:44But I understand.
46:46We're just in very different places right now.
46:50Ironically, it was the sanest breakup I ever had.
47:08Oh my God, I love this song.
47:12Me too.
47:13Oh, thank you very much.
47:27This is my best prom ever.
47:30Thank you for coming.
47:32Oh, believe me, I'm glad to be back with the normal people.
47:35You know the craziest thing of all?
47:38I somehow thought that after everything I've been through, I might end up with my high school boyfriend.
47:46Yeah.
47:47I don't think my story is going to get tied up like that.
47:49Your boyfriend might get tied up.
47:51And taken away.
47:52Okay, no more jokes.
47:54I might be dating him in eight to ten months.
47:58Oh.
47:59May I cut in?
48:00No, thank you.
48:02I already have an escort.
48:07Honey, I didn't tell you because it's part of my past.
48:10It's not who I am anymore.
48:12I was really messed up back then.
48:14But I've got it together now.
48:17And it's prom night.
48:18And we have to have a dance.
48:23Why don't I get some punch?
48:33Just tell me one thing.
48:34Did you ever, ever sleep with that little bitchy pine nut, Anthony?
48:39No, God, no.
49:05So maybe it won't look the way you thought it would look in high school.
49:08But it's good to remember love is possible.
49:11Oh, baby, please don't know.
49:13Anything is possible.
49:15This is New York.
49:17This is New York.