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00:00Every morning, millions of New Yorkers leave their crowded apartments and head out to the even more crowded streets on
00:06their way to work.
00:07Today, I was one of them.
00:09Sometimes, a girl just needs a new start.
00:11I had a new due, a new mortgage, and therefore, a new job.
00:17I had just submitted my first freelance article for one of the most relevant and provocative magazines on the newsstands
00:23today, at least to me.
00:26Vogue, also known as Mecca, where I belong.
00:30This isn't Vogue.
00:32Oh, you didn't like it?
00:34No, no one is saying that.
00:36Well, I am, I'll say it. I didn't like it there, I said it.
00:38No, what Enid is trying to say, Carrie, is that you wrote a wonderful first draft.
00:42It isn't Vogue.
00:43There it was, the article I'd put my heart and soul into, and it was bleeding.
00:47Your spin on the idea, Carrie, is very clever.
00:50Different types of men as the new accessories for fall.
00:53A Prada, a Prada dress should always be worn with an investment banker.
00:58I mean, it's wonderful.
00:59Julian, the assignment was 500 words on accessories, not men.
01:03And I'm not convinced she knows anything about purses, or for that matter, men.
01:07Enid, for the love of God.
01:09Miss Bradshaw, what you've handed us here is essentially just your newspaper column with the word style jammed in where
01:14the word sex used to be.
01:15We're not looking for Vogue according to your agenda.
01:18No one cares about your agenda.
01:20That's not true.
01:21Oh, forgive me.
01:21I don't care about your agenda.
01:23I care about designers.
01:25Oscar de la Renta.
01:26Chanel.
01:27Dior.
01:28I want less Carrie Bradshaw and more Carrie this bag with these shoes.
01:33Do you see what I mean?
01:33You're a writer.
01:34You should be writing this down.
01:36I was trying to find a way to introduce the bags and the bracelets with a little humor.
01:40Kind of men are the new black.
01:44It was supposed to be funny.
01:46It was supposed to be bags.
01:57An hour later, Enid had to leave for a lunch date, presumably to devour another writer.
02:03Don't let Enid get to you.
02:04She just came back from Paris, and apparently humor and irony are out this season.
02:12Billie Holiday.
02:13The only woman I could think of in more pain than you right now.
02:17Come on, cookie.
02:19Chin out.
02:21Publishing, you need two things.
02:23A tough hide.
02:25And a dry martini.
02:27Martinis in the morning?
02:29Is this allowed?
02:30Is it vogue?
02:31Only in absolute emergencies.
02:33Last time I broke this out was when I heard that Fun Fur was making a comeback.
02:41Look at this mess.
02:45Why was I even hired?
02:46Well, I'm afraid you have me to blame for that.
02:49My daughter introduced me to your column about a year ago.
02:53I thought you'd be a natural at vogue.
02:55Well, I guess you thought wrong.
02:56Haven't been wrong yet.
02:58Vogue is all about vision.
02:59You, cookie, have got vision.
03:01You just have to find a way to hide your vision.
03:03For me, that's vision.
03:04A little less you.
03:06A little more purse.
03:08Come on.
03:10Drink.
03:12Cheers.
03:15One and a half martinis later.
03:17And the sad thing is, this is what I do best.
03:21And look at it.
03:22Cookie, you're drunk.
03:24Yeah.
03:25Cookie's drunk.
03:27I'm drunk at vogue.
03:29How can anyone get so drunk on one and a half martinis?
03:33I didn't eat breakfast and I'm a size two, which would make me perfect for vogue.
03:37But nope.
03:37I'm drunk and a failure at vogue.
03:41I feel awful.
03:42This is my fault.
03:42Oh, Julian, I came in here today so cocky.
03:47I thought I knew it all.
03:48I had my man jokes and my purse puns and you heard her.
03:54What do I know about purses?
03:56Nothing.
03:57What do I know about men?
04:00Oops.
04:03I spilled.
04:05I spilled vogue.
04:07Okay.
04:07Okay.
04:08Baby, we better just take you home.
04:12I can't go out there.
04:13I'm drunk.
04:16I'm drunk at vogue.
04:20Oh.
04:25Right.
04:26Left.
04:27Now look at me.
04:29Pretend I'm saying something fantastic about corsets.
04:31Left the corset.
04:32Excuse me.
04:33Please tell me that wasn't Anna Wintour.
04:35It wasn't.
04:36Just left.
04:37Right.
04:38Right.
04:38Left.
04:41Left.
04:47That night, at a more appropriate cocktail hour.
04:50Oh, come on.
04:51There must be something you want for your birthday.
04:53What I want for my birthday is not to celebrate it this year.
04:56What if I want to celebrate it?
04:58Celebration enough.
04:59Besides, I have everything I need.
05:01It's not about needing something.
05:02It's about wanting something just for fun.
05:05Something decadent.
05:06Something naughty even.
05:08May I tempt you with dessert?
05:09How is everything safe, Mr. Ryan?
05:11Delicious, thank you.
05:12Alexa, I took the liberty of pre-ordering our chocolate souffle for you and Miss Jones if
05:17you're in the room for something sweet.
05:19Always.
05:19Thank you for keeping an eye on us.
05:21I couldn't help it.
05:22You're the most attractive couple in the restaurant.
05:24Mm-hmm.
05:29I know what I'd like for my birthday.
05:31An all-night, non-stop championship fuckfest with you.
05:35Then consider your candles blown.
05:37And Alexa.
05:39Oh, you asked.
05:41Is a three-way with a 21-year-old a bad idea for Richard's birthday?
05:45What are you going to get him next year, a four-way?
05:46Look, he doesn't want to be monogamous, so he'll either cheat with me or without me.
05:49Well, happy birthday to you.
05:50It's not like he asked me to get him a hooker.
05:52These are the options?
05:53It's someone we know, and at least this way, I'm part of the fantasy.
05:56Yeah, the fantasy being that he's attractive to someone young enough to be his daughter.
06:00He is, Charlotte.
06:01That's the problem.
06:02Richard's in his fucking prime.
06:04Men get better looking as they get older, and women get three-ways, apparently.
06:07Or a Marc Jacobs ultra-mod little notebook, huh?
06:12Evidently, I'm recommending it to Vogue shoppers.
06:15Just be careful, Samantha.
06:17When a man has a fantasy and you fulfill it, there's always the chance that the relationship could blow up,
06:21and then you're just the idiot who did it with him on the golf course or something.
06:25Was it you and Troy?
06:26No, no, Alexa, for instance.
06:28Sorry, I'm late.
06:29I was shopping for a stroller.
06:31I shouldn't even be here.
06:32I should be out doing all the things I'm supposed to do before the baby comes,
06:35and I'm unable to leave my apartment ever again.
06:38Like what, jiu-jitsu and off-track bedding?
06:40Like buying a crib.
06:42Evidently, I'm to go to Crib World because it's a whole world of cribs.
06:44I guess Crib City wasn't big enough.
06:46Why isn't there a store called This is the Crib for You?
06:49And they just have one great crib, and they deliver it and assemble it and help you raise your child.
06:53You don't have a crib yet?
06:54No, Charlotte.
06:54I have a job instead.
06:56I'm sorry, but when am I supposed to find time to prepare for this baby?
07:00I don't have a vague idea how I'm going to do any of this.
07:02Well, I don't have a vogue idea, so hello.
07:04Why don't you let a one bowl help you?
07:05Yeah, I tried that.
07:06And he starts acting all father figure, and I get territorial, and the salespeople get confused,
07:11and trust me, it's too complicated for Crib World.
07:13Let me help you.
07:15I mean, I know you said you didn't want a baby shower, but it's not too late to change your
07:17mind.
07:18I hate baby showers.
07:19Ugh, who doesn't?
07:20The games, the finger sandwiches, all that enforced oohing and aahing.
07:23I don't know when I don't care who's having a baby.
07:25But think of the gifts.
07:26It would be a great way to get all the stuff you need.
07:28Without having to go to Crib World.
07:30But who would I invite besides you guys?
07:31All the bitches that made you go to theirs.
07:33Well, it's your shower, and you can invite or not invite whoever you choose.
07:37Would you really want to throw me a baby shower after all you've been through this year?
07:41Yeah.
07:43I think it would be good for me.
07:46Okay.
07:47But no cutesy, storky shit.
07:50Just an adult, dignified lunch with presents, which I will open after everyone leaves.
07:54You have to open presents.
07:56No opening of presents, no games, no crustless bread.
07:59And I want fried chicken.
08:00Fried chicken?
08:01But it's not Super Bowl Sunday.
08:02It's my shower, and I'll fry if I want to.
08:06What should we do for our gifts?
08:07Let's just stick to the registry three-way.
08:10The next day, Charlotte decided if she was going to host a baby shower,
08:14she should hide the evidence that she had wanted one of her own.
08:23Later that week, I had a meal with the perfect dinner accessory, Julian.
08:27So my wife is a former dancer.
08:29She was with the Martha Graham Company, and the first time I saw her on stage, I fell in love
08:33with her.
08:34She plied and I plodged.
08:39It'll be 24 years next September.
08:41So you got married right out of grade school?
08:43I knew there was something about you that I liked a lot.
08:46What about your life?
08:48Was there a man in your life?
08:49Was it a great love?
08:51Um, I just broke up with somebody.
08:56And, yes, it was a great love.
09:00But he went there.
09:03I went there.
09:05And there you have it.
09:08So, Julian, the reason that I asked you to dinner tonight...
09:11Is it because you knew I would pay?
09:12This slide, sir.
09:14Um, I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate your interest in my article,
09:19but I've decided not to finish it.
09:21So what are you going to do?
09:21Are you just going to quit?
09:22No, no, no, no.
09:23I don't let my kids quit.
09:24Well, technically, I'm not one of your kids.
09:26I'm just a girl.
09:27You get drunk sometimes.
09:28All right, forget about me.
09:30What would your father say about you quitting?
09:32Well, my father wouldn't have a whole lot to say about quitting.
09:34He quit my mother and me when I was little.
09:37Sorry.
09:38Oh, thanks.
09:38No, I mean a long time ago.
09:39I was five.
09:40Why'd he leave?
09:42No idea.
09:43Never said.
09:45And that's the name of that tune.
09:47Hmm.
09:51What?
09:52No, no, it's interesting.
09:55And your father leaves without any answers,
09:56and you spend your life asking questions about men.
10:00Well, it's 20 years of analysis.
10:02Forgive me?
10:03Yes.
10:04Okay, Vogue.
10:05Vogue?
10:05What if I could fix it so that you only deal with me,
10:08and Enid spends less time hating your writing
10:09and more time hating Tom Ford's line?
10:12Julian.
10:13Oh, come on, Cookie.
10:14You're no quitter.
10:16We get to work on this together.
10:17What do you say?
10:18Why are you being so sweet?
10:20Martini guilt.
10:23Later that night,
10:24I got to thinking about fathers,
10:26or the lack of them.
10:27Some say a daughter's relationship with her father
10:30is the model for all her subsequent relationships with men.
10:33Is that just pop psychology,
10:35or is there some truth to it?
10:37And if you were given a less-than-perfect model,
10:39does it mean a life of less-than-perfect relationships?
10:42I couldn't help but wonder,
10:44how much does a father figure figure?
10:47Gentlemen, I understand your concern,
10:49but I'm looking at the contract right now.
10:52I'm sorry.
10:53Could you hold for a moment?
10:55I'm on a conference call here.
10:57Charlotte York says it's an emergency.
11:02Charlotte, what's wrong?
11:02You okay?
11:03I'm fine.
11:04I'm just looking over your registry,
11:05and there's some things you forgot to include,
11:07like a Manhattan Who's It.
11:08A what?
11:08It's a learning toy.
11:09Active toys make for passive children.
11:11There's a whole philosophy behind it.
11:12I don't have time for philosophy.
11:13I'm on a conference call with our London office.
11:15What about a peek-a-ball?
11:17Peek-a-ball!
11:17Peek-a-ball Miranda!
11:18Jesus, Charlotte, I have to get back.
11:20Just one more quick thing.
11:21I know you said no storks,
11:22but I saw the most gorgeous centerpiece
11:24in the shape of a stork.
11:24I'm at work.
11:25Well, we have to order it by noon.
11:26Now, its feathers are white Fiji mums.
11:29What did I say?
11:30No storks.
11:31But these people are giving you expensive gifts,
11:33and they're going to want to see a little baby.
11:34No storks, no present opening,
11:36no cutesy baby stuff.
11:37We agreed.
11:38What about a marzipan baby carriage?
11:40Charlotte!
11:41It has a white chocolate peanut butter baby inside,
11:43and you can eat the baby.
11:45Miranda?
11:47Miranda!
11:49The next day,
11:50Samantha made a conference call of her own.
11:53Miss Jones, welcome.
11:55Will Mr. Wright be joining you for lunch?
11:56No, actually.
11:57It's Richard's birthday this weekend,
11:59and I'm trying to put together
12:01a little celebration for him.
12:03Certainly.
12:03Would you like to reserve
12:04one of our banquet rooms, or...?
12:05Oh, that won't be necessary.
12:07It's a very small party.
12:09A very small private party of three.
12:12Just Richard, myself, and a third.
12:16If you have any openings.
12:18I'm wide open.
12:20Lucky me.
12:22And now that Charlotte's house was ready for the baby shower,
12:25she wanted to make sure Miranda's house was ready for the baby.
12:28So the bassinet can go over here by the bed...
12:31Uh-huh.
12:31...so that when you have to get up for feedings,
12:32he's right there, see?
12:33Yeah.
12:34Unless you're planning to have him sleep in the bed with you.
12:36Can I go to jail for that?
12:38No.
12:38In fact, many cultures believe that it's safer for the baby's breathing.
12:42Although you do run the risk of rolling over and smooshing him in your sleep,
12:45but that almost never happens.
12:46But almost isn't never,
12:47so if you want to err on the side of safety...
12:48Um, I'll just put him in the thing.
12:50The bassinet.
12:51Me.
12:52Great!
12:53And then when he's big enough,
12:55you can put the crib here.
12:57Is that what you were thinking?
12:58Oh, I hadn't thought about that yet.
13:00Well, you need to start thinking about these things
13:02because there are a million questions to answer
13:04before the baby ever gets here.
13:05Do you have a birthing plan?
13:06Do you know what kind of a mother you want to be?
13:08Yes, I plan to be a good mother.
13:11But a marsupial mom or a stroller mom?
13:14Will you be breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
13:16And what about baby-proofing?
13:18Because with all the sharp edges around here,
13:20I mean, this place is a death trap.
13:22Okay, you need to back off.
13:24I'm just trying to help.
13:26This is your idea of helping?
13:27Pointing out all the things I do badly?
13:29I'm not pointing out.
13:30Yes, you are.
13:33You need to try to let other people in a little.
13:36Because once you have that baby,
13:37it's not just you anymore.
13:38You're not going to be able to control everything.
13:41Look, I just want to enjoy the fried chicken
13:43and be done with it.
13:44Oh, um, well, I had to rethink the fried chicken
13:49because you were the only one who wanted all that breading.
13:51So instead, we're having masculine greens
13:52and a lovely putinesca with a Fiji mom centerpiece.
13:56A Fiji mom stork centerpiece?
13:58One stork.
13:59I think you can deal with one stork.
14:00Two storks.
14:01I saw the invitation.
14:02There's a stork on the invitation.
14:03That's not a stork.
14:04That is a duck.
14:05And that duck is smoking,
14:06and it's a boy's cigar.
14:08That duck's not for children.
14:09That duck is fucked.
14:10This whole shower is fucked.
14:11You can't have a shower without some baby stuff.
14:13You keep this up,
14:14you're going to have a shower without a mommy.
14:15Fine.
14:15Fine.
14:19Miranda, you better show up.
14:21I am not getting stuck with a bunch of lawyers
14:23who, if they're anything like you,
14:24won't even appreciate a beautiful putinesca.
14:27Watch out for the sharp edges.
14:32Thanks for coming down and talking.
14:34Well, I really didn't have a choice.
14:35You couldn't make it up the stairs.
14:38There.
14:39You feel better?
14:40The back, yes.
14:41The other stuff, no.
14:42I'm going to be a terrible mother.
14:44Miranda.
14:45I am.
14:46I have no maternal instincts,
14:47no patience,
14:48the way I yelled at Charlotte.
14:50She was just trying to point out
14:51what needed to be childproofed.
14:53Oh, my God.
14:55What?
14:55I'm what needs to be childproofed.
14:58You want to quit?
15:00Come on, I'll quit the magazine.
15:01You quit the baby, we'll be two quitters.
15:03We'll live happily ever after.
15:05Can I tell you a secret?
15:06You're not really pregnant?
15:08It's water weight?
15:08I dropped my niece on her head.
15:10I was babysitting when I was 13,
15:12and I got bored.
15:13I got bored, Karen.
15:15I was doing my homework.
15:16She slid down the couch.
15:18Two stitches.
15:19Get off my stoop.
15:22How is this kid ever going to make it?
15:25A type A mother who works 50 hours a week
15:27and no father figure.
15:28He has a father figure.
15:30Steve.
15:31I meant you.
15:33Oh, really?
15:34Yeah.
15:35I do like those Yankees.
15:36My parents have a high fare.
15:38No, I mean, it's just a few details,
15:40but we used to spend a lot of high fare.
15:42Second date, dinner and a movie.
15:44Yeah, I hate them.
15:47Hey.
15:48Do you think it really can be as simple
15:50as my father walked out there
15:51for I'll always be messed up about men?
15:54My father came home every night at 7 on the dot,
15:56and I have no clue about men either.
15:58So it's a crap shoot.
15:59Yeah.
16:00Do I have to go to my own baby shower?
16:02I RSVP'd to a duck with a cigar.
16:05All right.
16:06You're going.
16:06Okay, it's late.
16:07I'm going to catch a cab.
16:09Wait, let me get you a forklift.
16:12Are you ready?
16:13Yeah.
16:14Okay.
16:14Go, go, go, go.
16:16Go, go, go.
16:18Oh, cute.
16:19You're the girl.
16:19You're the girl.
16:21The next day, Miranda decided not to dock her own shower.
16:24Hey, you showed up.
16:25Yeah, yeah.
16:26Bring on the ladies in hats,
16:28and let's get this over with.
16:30Where did you put all the storks?
16:32Well, you said you didn't want any storks.
16:33Yeah, I know, but...
16:38Charlotte, what did you do?
16:40Well, it's your shower.
16:43Oh, can you get that?
16:44Because I have to get the rest of the sandwiches,
16:45which have all of their crusts.
16:46Nothing cute.
16:47No ridiculous over-the-top baby stuff allowed.
16:50Oh.
16:52Hey, Mama.
16:53Why are you opening the door?
16:54Aren't you supposed to be sitting on a lily pad being worshipped?
16:57What is that?
16:58It's a four-tiered baby cake made entirely of diapers.
17:02I baked it myself.
17:03We ordered it online.
17:04What am I supposed to do with it?
17:05How the hell should we know?
17:06Didn't you want one?
17:07No.
17:08Well, we're not taking it back.
17:09We've already been seen carrying it down Park Avenue.
17:12Definitely not Vogue.
17:13Charlotte said it was the shower gift.
17:15Hey, I told you we should have gotten a massage or tip.
17:18One hour, two platters of chicken,
17:20and 13 lawyers later,
17:22all talk had turned to babies.
17:24Well, almost all.
17:25She may be 21, but I have 21 years of experience.
17:27I could fuck her under the table.
17:29Well, that's good to know,
17:30because in a three-way situation,
17:31it could come to that.
17:32Oh, hi.
17:33I have tricks she hasn't even seen.
17:34And those tricks aren't for kids.
17:36And no matter what happens,
17:37she's just renting them.
17:38I own.
17:39Exactly.
17:40Although I don't really own.
17:42So it's more of an illegal sublet type of thing?
17:44Yeah.
17:45Yeah.
17:45Wow.
17:49It's a breast pump.
17:51Oh.
17:52Well, you know,
17:53I didn't want you coming to my office to borrow mine.
17:56You know what?
17:57I have to pee.
17:59Oh, no, no.
18:00Wait a minute.
18:00Here.
18:01You take Charles.
18:03Oh.
18:03At Bon Mall.
18:04Okay.
18:05All right.
18:07Uh, keep coming, ladies.
18:08Let's keep pressing.
18:09Miranda.
18:10Yeah?
18:11Oh, yeah.
18:11Nothing.
18:13Something tells me this one's Tiffany.
18:16That's for me.
18:18Oh.
18:20That is elegant.
18:21Oh, my God.
18:23It's exactly like the rattle
18:24Trey gave me when we went first.
18:27Oh.
18:28You okay?
18:29I'm fine.
18:30I'm fine.
18:30I'm sorry, everybody.
18:33I scared me.
18:35Oh.
18:38What did I do?
18:44Charlotte?
18:45I just need to be alone right now.
18:48Okay.
18:50Except, you know,
18:52you got 20 people in the other room.
19:05I'm sorry I ruined your shower.
19:07You didn't.
19:08And there wouldn't even be a shower to ruin
19:10if it weren't for you.
19:13Look,
19:14I know this is hard.
19:16And I really appreciate
19:18you trying to be okay
19:20with me having this baby.
19:22because I need you.
19:25I mean,
19:26let's face it,
19:26you're the only person in my life
19:27who
19:30knows how important it is
19:31to have a cake
19:32made entirely out of diapers.
19:36There's lotion in there, too.
19:38Oh, yeah?
19:41And, um,
19:43baby bottles.
19:44And a receiving blanket.
19:47See?
19:50I would never have known that.
19:52You would have figured it out.
19:54And just like that,
19:56Miranda realized
19:57she might be
19:58a good mother figure as well.
20:02Ah, hello.
20:05Somebody better go check on
20:06Mommy in the guest bath
20:07because little Fitz here
20:09has wet himself.
20:10And myself,
20:11I might add.
20:12Oh.
20:13Well,
20:13I happen to have
20:14four tiers of diapers.
20:15Oh, good.
20:16Ladies,
20:17can we cut the cake
20:17and get out of here?
20:18I have a three-way to go to.
20:20Yeah?
20:21That's my earring.
20:22That night
20:23at the birthday three-way,
20:25Samantha made sure
20:25it happened her way.
20:27Just so we're clear,
20:28tonight is just about sex,
20:31not love.
20:32So,
20:33there will be no kissing
20:34on the mouth.
20:35Richard's lips
20:36are off limits
20:36to anyone but me.
20:38What if he kisses me?
20:40Who's up for champagne?
20:41I'm up for anything.
20:51Oh.
20:59Easy, Sam.
21:00There's more than enough
21:01of you to go around.
21:02Tell her, Daddy.
21:04The one thing
21:05Richard didn't want
21:06for his birthday
21:06was to feel older.
21:08Get rid of her.
21:09I don't know that.
21:11Ooh.
21:12Hey.
21:13It was time
21:14for the fledgling
21:15to leave the love nest.
21:19Anything else
21:20you want
21:20for your birthday?
21:22No, this is great.
21:25Just you and me.
21:28What about
21:29my three-way?
21:31I have a busboy
21:32arriving at midnight.
21:35Seriously,
21:36let's try this.
21:38Just you and me.
21:40Nobody else.
21:43Oh.
21:45Okay.
21:47By giving Richard
21:48what he thought
21:48he wanted,
21:49Samantha finally got
21:51what she needed.
21:52Monogamy.
21:54The following night,
21:55with a little after-hours help
21:56from my favorite editor,
21:57I finished
21:58The Impossible,
21:59my first Vogue piece.
22:01And now,
22:01my favorite part
22:02of the writing process,
22:04print.
22:06congratulations, cookie.
22:08500 beautifully written words,
22:09and some of them
22:10even include
22:10the Carrie Bradshaw agenda.
22:12Cleverly hidden,
22:13of course.
22:13It's a literary,
22:14Where's Waldo?
22:16When I finish
22:16your new piece,
22:17I usually celebrate
22:18by opening a bottle
22:18of Chateau Latour.
22:20How do you celebrate?
22:21By buying shoes
22:22and purses.
22:24Well,
22:24in that case,
22:25have you ever heard
22:25of the Vogue
22:26accessories closet?
22:32Oh, my God.
22:34It's too good.
22:36I'm sorry,
22:37but it's,
22:38oh,
22:39it's too good.
22:40Just like a kid
22:41in a couture candy store.
22:43This is too much.
22:45How can this be?
22:47Well,
22:47designers send us things
22:48and we photograph them.
22:51Oh, my God.
22:53Shh,
22:53Carrie.
22:54Do you,
22:54do you know
22:55what these are?
22:55We're not even
22:56supposed to be in here.
22:57Manolo,
22:58Blahnik,
22:59Mary James.
23:00I thought these
23:01were an urban
23:02shoe myth.
23:03Now,
23:03if you'll excuse me,
23:04I'll be pillaging
23:05the men's side.
23:06Oh, my God.
23:09These are authentic,
23:11patent leather.
23:12And if they don't fit,
23:14someone help me,
23:14I'm going to wear them
23:15anyway.
23:16Oh,
23:17what?
23:19Oh,
23:19they almost fit.
23:22Carrie.
23:22Yeah?
23:23Tell me what you think
23:23about these Versace.
23:25Okay.
23:25All right.
23:29Oh.
23:31Oh.
23:33What do you think?
23:34Oh,
23:34what are you doing?
23:37I'm just showing you
23:38these briefs.
23:38Well,
23:39don't.
23:41Julian,
23:41put your pants up.
23:43Oof.
23:43Look at you
23:44and those Mary Janes.
23:45Stop.
23:47What happened
23:48to your wife,
23:49the dancer?
23:50She's having an affair
23:50with our friend,
23:51the chiropractor.
23:52Carrie.
23:53Oh, God.
23:53What?
23:54I find you adorable.
23:55You're old enough
23:56to be my father.
23:57Carrie,
23:58would your father
23:59wear Versace's?
24:00Put your pants up now.
24:02All right.
24:03Cookie,
24:03as someone who really
24:04cares about you,
24:05let me just say,
24:05I think you'll have
24:06some serious issues
24:06with men.
24:07I do right now,
24:08yes.
24:08An older man
24:09can help you
24:10work through
24:10some of those
24:11father issues,
24:12Cookie.
24:12Okay,
24:13don't cookie me,
24:14Freud.
24:14Pants up.
24:16Show some respect.
24:18This is Vogue.
24:19Turns out,
24:19Julian had an agenda
24:21as well,
24:21but it was cleverly
24:22hidden.
24:23Of course.
24:25From then on,
24:26once a month,
24:26when I went to Vogue,
24:27I thought it best
24:28to work exclusively
24:29with Enid.
24:30All right,
24:30this new piece
24:31shows improvement
24:32but still positively
24:33reeks of you.
24:34This magazine doesn't
24:34care what Carrie Bradshaw
24:35has to say about shoes.
24:36What does Carrie Bradshaw
24:38know about shoes?
24:39Enid,
24:40with all due respect,
24:41men I may not know,
24:44but shoes,
24:46shoes I know.
24:51I'm walking.
24:52I'm walking.
24:53I admit it's tempting
24:55to wish for the
24:55perfect boss
24:56or the perfect parent
24:58or the perfect outfit,
24:59but maybe the best
25:00any of us can do
25:01is not quit,
25:02play the hand
25:03we've been given
25:03and accessorize
25:05the outfit we've got.
25:10There is a time
25:11of year in New York
25:12when even before
25:13the first leaf falls,
25:15you can feel
25:15the seasons click.
25:18The air is crisp,
25:20the summer is gone,
25:21and for the first night
25:22in a long time,
25:23you need a blanket
25:24on your bed.
25:33It brings up other needs
25:35as well.
25:48Hello?
25:49What are you doing?
25:50Is this who I think it is?
25:52Who do you think it is?
25:53Princess Grace of Monaco.
25:55She's dead.
25:56So you can understand
25:57my surprise.
25:59What's shaking, kid?
26:01It's fall.
26:02I thought it was
26:03still Indian summer.
26:05Uh-uh.
26:06Well, then I guess
26:07I should take off
26:08my moccasins.
26:09Are you still smoking?
26:13Yes and no.
26:15I'm bad.
26:17Are you alone?
26:19Yes, ma'am.
26:21I can't sleep.
26:22I'm feeling a little lonely.
26:25Do you ever feel lonely?
26:27No.
26:31Can I come over?
26:33Sure.
26:37To be clear,
26:39it's just to keep
26:40each other company.
26:41Well, I always enjoy company.
26:50Get it while it's hot!
26:52I thought it was
26:53just a company visit.
27:10All your furniture
27:11is gone.
27:12See?
27:13This is why
27:14I'm leaving New York.
27:15The crime.
27:16Leaving New York?
27:18I'm moving.
27:20You are not moving.
27:21Tell that to my realtor
27:23in Napa.
27:24Napa as...
27:26as...
27:26in California?
27:28I bought a vineyard.
27:30Well, half a vineyard.
27:31Technically,
27:32it's three quarters
27:32of a vineyard,
27:33but there's a dispute
27:34over a hillside.
27:37Take this pizza
27:38and put it someplace.
27:43Wait.
27:45Move.
27:48Moving when?
27:50Monday at five.
27:51And what?
27:52If I hadn't
27:53happened to call tonight,
27:54you were just gonna
27:55quietly go away
27:56without telling me?
27:57I'm not big on goodbyes.
28:00Who would have called you?
28:02From where?
28:03A wine vat somewhere?
28:08You can't leave New York.
28:10You're the Chrysler Building.
28:12The Chrysler Building
28:13would be all wrong
28:14in a vineyard.
28:15You're River Danchi, baby.
28:18But...
28:20why?
28:21I'm tired of old New York.
28:23Well, if you're tired,
28:24you take a napa.
28:25You don't move to Napa.
28:37I need a cocktail.
28:43And downtown,
28:45another woman
28:46was feeling deserted.
28:50Hey, gorgeous.
28:51Don't gorgeous me.
28:52You're three hours late
28:53and I've eaten
28:53half a box of chocolates.
28:55When I get cellulite,
28:56you'll have no one
28:56to blame but yourself.
28:57I got held up
28:58at the hotel.
28:59Richard Wright,
28:59the telephone.
29:00Have you two met?
29:01I was busy.
29:08What's up?
29:09I mean, besides me.
29:11I don't appreciate
29:12being kept waiting,
29:13especially when I have
29:14a gift for you.
29:15Is this an actual gift
29:17or are we talking sex?
29:25What's the occasion?
29:26It's National Richards
29:27a prick day.
29:33I saw it
29:33and I thought of you.
29:36Do you like it?
29:37Very much.
29:39It was the closest
29:40Samantha had come
29:41to giving her heart
29:42to a man
29:42in a long, long time.
29:45I think it would be
29:45perfect right there.
29:54You kept nothing
29:55to sit on
29:56but you have your records
29:57and a turntable?
29:58I know what's important.
30:01Blood, sweat, and tears?
30:04Wow.
30:05Shouldn't this be
30:05in a museum?
30:06Be nice.
30:10Henry Mancini.
30:12Exactly how old are you?
30:15It was my parents
30:16and don't knock it
30:16till you've heard it.
30:17Here.
30:20Hey, easy, pops.
30:22Just give me the record.
30:26I've been thinking.
30:29You can't slink
30:30out of town this way.
30:31We have to do it up right.
30:33A proper goodbye.
30:35You mean New York?
30:37You owe it to us.
30:39And by us,
30:40I mean New York
30:41and myself.
30:44How's that wine?
30:51It's from my vineyard.
30:52In that case,
30:53I hate it.
31:02You can't be serious.
31:04Wait, wait.
31:05Wait.
31:06Crossing you inside
31:08someday.
31:09Is this the corny?
31:10Nope.
31:12It's classic.
31:14Listen.
31:17This was my parents' favorite song.
31:20They used to put it on
31:21before they went out of the town.
31:26Listen.
31:29Did you hear that?
31:30Two drifters?
31:32Two drifters.
31:32When I was little,
31:33I thought I was two twisters.
31:34You know,
31:35the twist?
31:37It was the 60s.
31:39And my parents had the moves.
31:42After the same rainbows
31:45rainbows and
31:48waiting around the bed
31:52my heart's very friend
31:55who
31:57and me
32:08See? I've got you.
32:24Thank you for the company.
32:27That's it?
32:29You can stay.
32:31No, I see Sunday night.
32:34Don't disappoint us.
32:36And by us, I mean you and me.
32:42That pizza will be fantastic for breakfast.
32:56The next morning, I broke the big news.
32:58Going, going, gone. It's the end of an era.
33:00I'm always surprised when anyone leaves New York.
33:03I mean, where do they go?
33:04The real world?
33:05A homeless man showed me his dick on the way here.
33:06It doesn't get any realer than that.
33:08Big wasn't even gonna tell you?
33:09No.
33:10He said he'd call, but what if he didn't?
33:12It's like those guys you have the great second date with and then never hear from again.
33:16I pretend they died.
33:17Okay, now the tough question.
33:19Should you sleep with him one last time?
33:20Exactly.
33:22Going out of business sex.
33:24What do we think?
33:24No.
33:25Okay, quick draw.
33:26Give it a second here.
33:27No.
33:28We like each other.
33:29We respect each other.
33:31It could be nice.
33:33Romantic.
33:34Hmm.
33:35No.
33:36You had sex with Steve.
33:38Uh-huh.
33:39Sex with an ex can be depressing.
33:41If it's good, you don't have it anymore.
33:43If it's bad, you just had sex with an ex.
33:45It's gonna be bad.
33:47Ooh.
33:48I'm just saying.
33:50Aren't you afraid that the sheer force of it all will just pull you back into all that
33:53big stuff again?
33:54No.
33:55He's not in Niagara Falls.
33:57Isn't he?
33:58I love you, sweetie, but you're not giving me any credit.
34:00This is not two years ago.
34:02Things have changed.
34:03I'm different now.
34:04Big and I are different.
34:06I feel safe around him.
34:09He's like this...
34:11this great man in my life and he's leaving.
34:14Use a condom.
34:15That's all I'm saying.
34:16Well, I don't know how you survived any of it, Big or Aiden.
34:19This love stuff is a motherfucker.
34:21Did you just say love?
34:23Now what the hell.
34:25My name is Samantha and I'm a loveaholic.
34:27Hi, Samantha.
34:28It's so infuriating.
34:30I mean, where can this possibly go?
34:31No one actually makes these relationship things work, do they?
34:34Sure, I think they're the same people that leave New York.
34:36I'm just really surprised, Big.
34:38It's moving.
34:38I always thought...
34:40Never mind.
34:42You always thought what, never mind?
34:45I just always thought that you two would end up together.
34:48How?
34:48I don't know.
34:50Yes, they made mistakes, but they were never supposed to be together.
34:53If she was going to wind up with anybody, it was Aiden.
34:56This is all very informative.
34:57You don't have enough distance to have sex with your ex.
35:00Okay, thanks for the sound advice, Mommy Biggest.
35:02Well, I haven't had sex since my ex.
35:04Oh, honey, you should get on that.
35:05It's the only way to move on.
35:07Use a condom.
35:10Later that night, I got to thinking about fate.
35:13That crazy concept that we're not really responsible for the course our lives take.
35:18That it's all predestined, written in the stars.
35:21Maybe that explains why, if you live in a city where you can't even see the stars,
35:26your love life tends to feel a little more random.
35:29And even if our every man, every kiss, every heartache is pre-ordered from some cosmic catalog,
35:35can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal Milky Way?
35:39I couldn't help but wonder, can you make a mistake and miss your fate?
35:44If you look at how brilliantly Monet suggested glimpses of sky and the luscious...
35:54...as one of the true poets of nature.
35:57And my personal favorite.
35:58Charlotte's fate led her to the Museum of Modern Art.
36:00Follow me, and we'll move on to the Pollock.
36:05Weren't you here last Sunday?
36:07Yes, I was. I love the Impressionists.
36:10And I'm trying to get up the courage to invite you to dinner.
36:14Oh, that's very sweet, but...
36:17But you have a boyfriend? How could you not?
36:19Oh, actually, no, no boyfriend.
36:21But I was just separated, and I'm not really ready to date yet.
36:26I totally understand. I went through a divorce last year.
36:29I'm Eric, by the way.
36:30Oh.
36:31Oh.
36:33Viewing Jackson Pollock's one is an almost overwhelming ex...
36:38Read.
36:39And speaking of overwhelming exes, there was...
36:53Okay, enough Pollock.
36:56Follow me as we move on to Paul Gauguin.
36:59Now.
37:00Come on.
37:02I changed my mind. I'll have dinner with you. Yep.
37:04Mm-hmm.
37:05Hurry, everyone. Come on.
37:06In order to avoid her ex, Charlotte ran all the way into the Expressionist era.
37:10And up on the Upper West Side, two other exes were dealing with A, B, and C.
37:16Connect Part C with Bracket B and Bolt 3.
37:19Okay, now you're not even making sense.
37:22I can't be right.
37:23Connect Part C to Bracket B using Bolt 3.
37:29Hand me Bolt 3.
37:35Aren't you gonna point out that you were right?
37:37Nope.
37:38You got 40 pounds on me.
37:46I was thinking of Danny.
37:48Danny who?
37:49For the baby?
37:50Danny?
37:51Pops?
37:52Huh.
37:53Danny.
37:55I like that.
37:57Did you have any other ideas?
37:59Paul.
38:01Paul?
38:02Huh.
38:03Paul's, you know, a big name in the Brady family.
38:05You know, my dad, my granddad.
38:07Well.
38:11Paul.
38:12But yeah, they're dead.
38:14You didn't even know them.
38:16Danny's better.
38:19Hey, Danny, you wanna go shoot some hoops?
38:22Sounds right.
38:25Good.
38:27Wow.
38:29You're making something for little Danny.
38:33Don't cry, Steve.
38:35Sorry.
38:44Gorgeous.
38:45I've got work to do here.
38:48You went out of this, just say it.
38:50I don't wanna have sex once and I want out.
38:52Not just once.
38:52What about yesterday?
38:53We were at the opera.
38:54I was bored.
38:56I fucked you for three hours when we came home.
38:58A big whoop.
39:02Why haven't you hung the hearts?
39:03I will.
39:04It's been laying against that wall for days.
39:07I'm not sure it belongs here.
39:08You mean I don't belong here.
39:09Samantha, a stranger to love, didn't do it very well.
39:13Oh, and I heard the weather this morning, but they didn't say anything about a shit storm.
39:17Where were you on your lunch hour?
39:18I stopped by and you weren't there.
39:21I was eating.
39:21Eating?
39:22Eating who?
39:23I saw you get into a cab with a woman wearing, come fuck me heels!
39:29Listen, Richard.
39:32Just tell me you're sleeping with someone else and we'll call it a day.
39:41The hearts would be better in the den.
39:45I had a salad and salmon.
39:47The woman is a business associate.
39:50I do not want out of this.
39:52But if you do, this is a good way to go.
40:00I'm sorry.
40:02She was an interior designer.
40:04You believe me, right?
40:07Yes.
40:09Yes, I do.
40:11He's plowing someone else.
40:13I know it.
40:13How could he not be?
40:14The man was a trap.
40:15Well, you're not cheating on him.
40:17Miracles happen.
40:18I think he's doing it on his lunch hour.
40:19I'm gonna follow him.
40:20Oh, Jesus.
40:21I'm so worried.
40:22You won't know it's me.
40:22I got a wig from the Raquel Welsh wig line.
40:25The Raquel Welsh wig line?
40:28Sassy shag.
40:29Chestnut brown.
40:30Cute.
40:30Very realistic for synthetic hair.
40:32And why would you be doing this?
40:34I can't go any farther down this love road and have my heart broken.
40:37If he's cheating on me, I have to know now.
40:39Samantha, if you love him, don't you think there's even the slightest chance that he might
40:43really love you too?
40:45Uh-huh.
40:46I stole a key from his cleaning lady.
40:47I'm gonna sneak in and check his answering.
40:49I do not have bail money, just so you know.
40:51Oh!
40:52Oh!
40:54Hello, lover.
40:56Oh, I am needing those for my last midnight on town.
41:00What are you two gonna do?
41:02Drinks, dinner, dancing.
41:04Very old New York.
41:05No, I meant sex or no sex.
41:07Oh, please.
41:07I'm just getting around to picking the shoes.
41:10Our mistake was, we never really agreed on what each other wanted out of the marriage,
41:13so...
41:13No, right.
41:14My wife and I.
41:15Totally different backgrounds.
41:16And you would think that we'd be able to see that was gonna be the problem.
41:21But nope.
41:23We were in love.
41:25Yeah, love, right?
41:27Love is tricky.
41:29I mean, it's just...
41:31so hard to see clearly through it.
41:34Exactly.
41:35It's like a fog or something.
41:41You're very sweet, Eric.
41:44And after dinner, Charlotte invited Eric home for coffee and...
41:49The and being, I'm determined to move on from my ex-sex.
41:54Wow.
41:56This place is huge.
41:58Wow.
41:58You live here alone?
41:59Uh-huh.
42:00It's not that big.
42:03Not that big?
42:04Wow.
42:05Look in there.
42:06Was your ex like a king or something?
42:08Wow.
42:09He was a doctor.
42:10Wow.
42:10Look at the size of this place.
42:13Wow.
42:14I live in a studio.
42:16Wow.
42:16You're rich.
42:19Huh.
42:19My ex-wife was an Orthodox Jew and now you're a rich girl.
42:22Why can't I ever find a woman who's compatible with me?
42:25You know what?
42:27I'm not really feeling that well.
42:29Maybe you should go.
42:31Jesus Christ.
42:31It's huge.
42:32It goes all the way back there.
42:34Wow.
42:35Follow me.
42:36Yeah.
42:36Good idea.
42:38Charlotte realized she may be ready to deal with her marriage past, but not her dating
42:42future.
42:43I had a lovely dinner.
42:44Bye.
42:47Contrary to popular opinion, I have decided to give myself permission to sleep with Big,
42:52if it feels right.
42:54So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
42:56Well, you're a big girl.
42:58Can I get that in writing?
43:01Oh, man.
43:02I've been her stuff for any before tonight.
43:03I have the most amazing shoes and water we'll just not do.
43:06Oh!
43:07What, are you having a baby or something?
43:09Damn.
43:10What?
43:10And that was just a kick.
43:12Wait till the labor starts.
43:14Okay.
43:14I'm getting a little freaked.
43:16Well, yeah.
43:17Carrie, will you be in the room with me?
43:20Steve's a good coach, but he's too emotional.
43:22I'm gonna need something normal to look at.
43:24It'll make me calmer.
43:25Okay, but I'm there purely for decoration.
43:27I'm not cutting any umbilical anything.
43:31Okay.
43:32That night, after the rain, after the dinner, after the dancing, I took Big for a ride.
43:38I can't believe you actually talked me into this.
43:42Buggy ride in Central Park.
43:45Very corny.
43:46Nope.
43:47Wasn't.
43:51So what are you gonna do out there in Napa besides watch great shriveling?
43:56Work.
43:57Smoke cigars.
44:00Look at the stars.
44:01I give it a week.
44:05New York.
44:07New York.
44:10New York.
44:10I'm just gonna miss it.
44:15Bad.
44:18But I will miss you, kid.
44:22Very much.
44:32Your cell phone's ringing.
44:35I don't have your cell phone.
44:37I don't have your cell phone.
44:38Oh, Jesus, that is me.
44:40Oh.
44:41Miranda gave me one, cause you know, you know.
44:47Oh, apparently how the hell does this thing...
44:52Miranda?
44:53Hi.
44:54I'm in labor.
44:55Meet me at Mount Sinai at 99th and 5th.
44:57Okay, is Steve with you?
44:58Uh, no.
44:59He's on his way from the bar.
45:00I didn't think that I should wait.
45:02Are you okay?
45:03So far.
45:03Taxi!
45:04Hey, I got a cab.
45:06I gotta go.
45:07Hi.
45:08Miranda's in labor.
45:09I have to get out of here.
45:09I have to get to Mount Sinai.
45:10Excuse me, sir.
45:11We have an emergency and we need to get to 99th Street and 5th Avenue in a hurry.
45:15I can't leave the park.
45:17I'll get a fine.
45:18What's your name?
45:19Bobo.
45:20Okay, Bobo.
45:22Here is 400 bucks.
45:27See what you can do.
45:29Bobo?
45:30Got him!
45:39One short carriage ride later.
45:48So, you leave tomorrow at 5?
45:51How about lunch?
45:51I'll come over around 2?
45:52I can't believe you're leaving me alone with a horse and buggy.
45:55Thanks for the ride, Prince Charming.
45:57Anytime.
46:01Carrie.
46:0881st and Park, Bobo.
46:15I'll go.
46:23I'll go.
46:24I'll go.
46:24Dr. Tom, Nicole.
46:25I'll go.
46:26Oh, my God.
46:30Boy, you will do anything to stop me from having sex with Big.
46:33You look pretty.
46:34So do you.
46:36Shouldn't you be lying down or biting on a leather strap or something?
46:40I'm moving around, trying to get my water to break.
46:43The doctor says it's better than having them break it for you.
46:48So, what can I do?
46:50When this gets going, don't let anyone get all cheerleadery on me.
46:55I don't want any of that.
46:55You can do it. Push, push it.
46:59And thus, with a destroyed pair of Christian Louboutins,
47:03began Miranda's delivery.
47:05And it would continue well into lunch hour the next day.
47:17There she was, Miss Sassy and her shag,
47:21trying to catch Richard with his lunchtime shag.
47:29It's quite too hard.
47:43Pull with that car!
47:44Are you fucking kidding me?
47:46Just go.
47:50One cab ride and a breaking and entering later,
47:53Samantha found herself at Richard Wright's bedroom door.
48:05You bastard!
48:06Huh?
48:07Who the hell are you?
48:10It's just sex.
48:12I love you.
48:13Turns out she was right about right,
48:15but now she wished she was wrong.
48:19There!
48:20Now your heart's broken, too!
48:25Um, who the fuck was that?
48:27Turns out the baby was almost as stubborn as Miranda.
48:30You're doing good there.
48:31That's right.
48:32She is.
48:33You're almost there.
48:33Now push!
48:34Push!
48:35Push!
48:36Push!
48:37Push!
48:38Nurse!
48:39Don't say that.
48:41Okay, Miranda.
48:42One more deep breath and go.
48:46Carrie?
48:47Carrie?
48:47Yeah.
48:54Oh, my God.
48:56Oh, my God.
48:57There he is.
49:00And he's perfect.
49:01Yes, he is.
49:02He's perfect.
49:03Oh, he's perfect.
49:04He's perfect.
49:05He's perfect.
49:05He's perfect.
49:06Nurse.
49:10Okay, ten toes.
49:14Ten fingers.
49:15Two balls.
49:19Oh, that feels good.
49:21I need it so good.
49:23Okay.
49:27Carrie.
49:32And just like that, life comes in, and things begin to change.
49:45It's weird.
49:48It's like suddenly there's a giraffe in the room.
49:51Hello.
49:54Hey, Danny.
49:56Um, I was thinking Brady.
50:01Brady Hobbs.
50:08Steve.
50:15That's a fabulous hat.
50:17We'll see.
50:19Oh.
50:20What?
50:21Sorry.
50:22Hi.
50:23Well?
50:23Well, he's really teeny, and he has red hair.
50:27Really?
50:28Oh, my God.
50:28That is so cute.
50:30I have to go.
50:30I still have a chance to catch big.
50:33Oh, Jesus.
50:34Here comes Raquel Welsh.
50:35What?
50:35She'll tell you.
50:35I'm late.
50:36She'll tell you.
50:37Why are you wearing that wig?
50:39Because my hair under it looks like shit.
50:41Miranda has a son.
50:42Just what the world needs.
50:43Another man.
50:44Oh, come on.
50:44Let's go see the baby.
50:45Wait.
50:47Okay.
50:47All right.
50:48Wait, wait.
50:49Let's go.
51:00No.
51:04No.
51:05It's not even five.
51:18This is...
51:22If I ever be...
51:36If I ever be alone.
52:09It was official.
52:11A new season had begun.
52:24Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate, without them, what would shape our lives.
52:29Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or
52:34be who we are.
52:36After all, seasons change, so do cities.
52:40People come into your life and people go.
52:42But it's comforting to know, the ones you love are always in your heart.
52:47And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.