- 2 days ago
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00:00In every relationship, there comes a time when you take that next important step.
00:05Do I look alright?
00:06Don't worry, they'll love you.
00:08I just want to make the right impression.
00:10They'll love you because I love you.
00:13Here we are.
00:14For some couples, that step is meeting the parents.
00:17For me, it's meeting the Prada.
00:19Holy shit.
00:21You know, on my planet, the clothing stores have clothes.
00:26Ladies.
00:29So, how have any shop here?
00:30Carrie!
00:31Hi!
00:32I'm going to guess more than once.
00:34I found my customers worth this beautiful, yeah?
00:38Tony, this is my boyfriend, Jack Berger.
00:40Hey, how are you?
00:41Oh, okay.
00:42Oh, two.
00:43Bonus round, I'm down with that.
00:44He's funny, yes?
00:46Yes, and this is his first time at Prada.
00:49Well, we have some amazing new things for me.
00:51Oh, I'm just here for my amazing new girlfriend.
00:52Can I get you something to drink?
00:54Cappuccino, bottled water, champagne.
00:56Champagne?
00:56Yes.
00:57Yes?
00:57Some couples spend Saturday afternoon shopping.
01:00Hold everybody, it's Carrie!
01:01Other couples spend it sexing.
01:05Aren't you going to shower?
01:07Nope.
01:08I want to smell you on me all night.
01:11Dirty boy.
01:14So, how's Friday at nine?
01:18I can't do Friday.
01:19But we always do Friday.
01:20It's TGI fuck day.
01:21My play starts previews this week.
01:23Play?
01:27I was thinking you could come check it out.
01:30It's a kick-ass play.
01:32Kick-ass play.
01:33Three words I hope never to hear again.
01:35Come on.
01:36It's in Brooklyn.
01:37It's in Brooklyn.
01:37I don't do burrow.
01:39Oh, don't give me that look.
01:41I'm the one who should be hurt.
01:43You always spend Fridays in me.
01:45Okay, here's the deal.
01:48You come see me in Brooklyn.
01:50And afterwards, I'll make sure you come and come and come in the bedroom.
02:02Hey, what do you think?
02:04Oh, two things.
02:06One, you look damn fine.
02:08Two, I'm a little hammered.
02:11Here, for you.
02:13Try it.
02:13Now that is fabulous.
02:15Yeah, you know, I never say fabulous, but if I did, I would.
02:18That's what a real shirt looks like, huh?
02:22Oh!
02:23But you will wear it forever.
02:24Yeah, I'd have to.
02:25Does it also somehow open into a small studio apartment?
02:28Gary, tell him.
02:30My girlfriend used to talk me into things, and I am a better man for it.
02:33This is our first shopping trip together.
02:34I want to take it slow.
02:36So how is Claudia?
02:38We broke up.
02:39Oh.
02:39Yeah, this is tragic.
02:41Only thing more tragic is Jack Berger not having Prada.
02:43Oh, what can I say except thanks for the hooch.
02:45Fine.
02:47So, Gary, do you know any fantastic, gorgeous, single woman like yourself I could go out with?
02:54Cheer up, sweetie.
02:56I may have found you the impossible dreamboat.
02:58Straight, single, and works for Prada.
03:03What?
03:04Did you think I was going to throw away all my new religious beliefs just because Harry and
03:07I are no longer together?
03:08Um, yeah.
03:10I'm not a fair-weather Jew.
03:12Besides, I can't even think about dating again.
03:14I'm way too sad about losing Harry.
03:16Now, Charlotte, honey, you will start dating eventually, and by then this Prada item may
03:21be off the rack.
03:22If she's not ready to move on, she's not ready to move on.
03:24People can't move on before they're ready.
03:27I'm just saying.
03:28I can't even imagine dating again.
03:30I mean, what would I say about myself?
03:32I was married, and then I got divorced.
03:34And then I fell in love with my divorced lawyer, and we were going to get married, but then
03:37I blew it, and we split up, too.
03:40It's depressing.
03:43Oh, now you went and told the truth.
03:45Hmm.
03:47Okay, what are we going to do about it?
03:49I say we get all dressed up.
03:50We go out for drinks Friday night.
03:52I'll wear my new Prada.
03:53Oh!
03:54I'm in!
03:54Oh, excellent.
03:56Shit, motherfucker, fuck shit.
03:58There's a shit, motherfucker, fuck shit situation?
04:00I have to go to the theater.
04:02They finally made that mandatory?
04:03A new play in Brooklyn.
04:05Jerry's in it.
04:05So it's children's theater.
04:06Oh, I think that's sweet.
04:08It's not sweet.
04:09It's pathetic how far a gal will go for a good fuck.
04:14Disguising that wood paneling is going to take a lot of filling.
04:17And speaking of the theater, that night, Miranda continued performing her one-woman show,
04:23I'm Not In Love With Steve.
04:25Hey!
04:26Hey!
04:27How was life on the playground?
04:30Oh, the little bratty girl had a birthday.
04:32Bratty had a birthday?
04:34Yep.
04:35Here.
04:35I scammed you a cupcake.
04:36It's chocolate.
04:37I had to fight for it.
04:39For me?
04:41Thanks.
04:42Yeah, I'm getting a gut from all the cupcake action on that playground.
04:47You don't have a gut.
04:49Gut!
04:52Okay, so I gotta run, I wanna get home, and see the next game.
04:56Why don't you watch it here?
04:58I mean, I pay for the ESPN and all, and I've got all this extra food and all.
05:03That is, unless you have plans with someone, in which case...
05:05No, Debbie's got shit to do.
05:08And wouldn't be crowding you?
05:11For the guy who scammed me the chocolate cupcake?
05:15It's cool.
05:25The Knicks' overtime turned into Steve's overnighter.
05:49Hey, hey, hey!
05:51Hey!
05:53All right, now I have to call somebody.
05:55You have a crowd of abuse problems.
05:56Oh, I do, do I?
05:59Here, for you.
06:01It's the I Never Say Fabulous, Fabulous shirt.
06:06Well, Carrie, you know, thanks, but you can't afford this.
06:09You can't afford that stuff you bought yourself.
06:11Last week, I couldn't, but voila.
06:15It's a check from our publishers.
06:16They sold my book in Paris.
06:17It's an advance from France.
06:19Wow, that's quite an advance.
06:21I know, I can't believe it.
06:23Half off at home, big deal in France.
06:25I'm the literary Jerry Lewis.
06:26So, you see, you have to have the I Never Say Fabulous, Fabulous shirt,
06:30because you are the most fabulous of all the fabulous men who never say fabulous.
06:38That's okay.
06:41I'm starving.
06:42What looks good?
06:45The next day, I met Miranda and Little Lord Brady for an early evening walk.
06:49Hey, if I get tired in about a block, can you push me around the next?
06:53Sure.
06:55Steve slept over the other night.
06:57Pardonne-moi?
06:58On the couch.
06:59We were watching the Knicks game, and it got late.
07:02Someone's gonna get hurt.
07:04Carrie, I can't help it.
07:05It was the most fun I've had in a long time.
07:08I like being around him.
07:10Then tell him that.
07:11I beg of you.
07:12He has a girlfriend.
07:12Did you forget?
07:13No, did you?
07:15No.
07:16Well, he probably already knows how you feel.
07:18No way.
07:19I'm acting my ass off.
07:20There is no Academy Award for that, just so you know.
07:23Oh, my God.
07:24Hey, Courtney.
07:26Hi.
07:27Carrie Bradshaw, the Toast of Europe.
07:29Oh, hardly.
07:30Oh, Miranda, this is Courtney, my publisher.
07:32Ex.
07:32Ex-publisher.
07:33I just got the boot.
07:35Hence the gin.
07:35I'm gonna go home and make myself a welfare martini.
07:38Wait, why?
07:40Uh, quote, disappointing sales in my sector, end quote.
07:43Oh, I'm sorry.
07:44Oh, fuck them, end quote.
07:46If it weren't for the European interest in your book, I probably would have gotten the
07:49boot a week ago when they started dropping all my authors.
07:51How's Berger handling it?
07:52He's so friggin' talented, I can't stand it.
07:54They should have never dropped a second book option.
07:56Short-sighted a-holes.
07:58You know what?
07:59You tell him to get the phone book out and give me a call if he needs a drinkin' buddy.
08:03Cute kid.
08:06Berger never said anything to me.
08:09Oh, my God.
08:11And I'm running around, buying him shirts and shoving my big check in his face.
08:16Well, you didn't know.
08:17Oh, God, I feel awful.
08:19Why did I have to parade in and brag about that check?
08:22Because you're proud of it.
08:23And you earned it.
08:24It's okay to be proud of it.
08:26Oh, this is not good.
08:28So what now?
08:29Should I tell him that I know?
08:31Maybe you should wait till he brings it up.
08:35Oh, move over, Brady.
08:36I'm getting tired.
08:38And in Central Park.
08:40Not him.
08:41Gay.
08:42Gay and doesn't know it.
08:44Here.
08:44Pale, with no arms, straight and jahoo-ish.
08:47Please.
08:48Harry and I just broke up.
08:50Sure.
08:50You loved Harry.
08:51I loved Harry.
08:52We all loved Harry.
08:53But it's been two weeks.
08:54Next.
08:55No next.
08:56It doesn't work like that.
08:57Oh, yes, it do.
08:58And it better because you are knock, knock, knocking on sad gal door.
09:01And nobody loves a sad gal.
09:03You don't understand what this feels like.
09:05You never...
09:07Never mind.
09:08What?
09:09I've never what?
09:10Lost the love of my life?
09:12Wrong.
09:13Paolo.
09:14Brazilian.
09:15Broke my heart.
09:16I've never gotten over him.
09:18Anthony.
09:19Had an ass like two scoops of butter pecan ice cream.
09:23Him.
09:23I could see you with him.
09:24I'm not interested.
09:25Well, you better get interested, or you're going to end up all alone and with no mans.
09:29Well, maybe I am.
09:31Would that be the worst thing that could happen?
09:33Uh-huh.
09:36Nice day to get laid.
09:43The corn.
09:45Harvested.
09:48The hay.
09:50Harvested.
09:52My youth.
09:54My youth.
09:57My youth.
10:17Samantha wondered if perhaps she had judged the arts too quickly.
10:24So, was it worth the trip?
10:25I'm not usually a fan of the theater, but get your cock out.
10:33Did you like the play?
10:34I felt like I was hit with a tranquilizer dart.
10:37Did you at least like my monologue?
10:39What monologue?
10:40After you dropped Trow, all I could think was, I gotta get me some of that.
10:45And this.
10:47Well, I hope the critics like it more than you.
10:50I quit my restaurant job today.
10:53Yeah, they wouldn't let me off to do the play, so...
10:55Fuck them.
10:56Maybe it'll be a big hit.
10:58How?
10:58The promotion of this thing is all out of whack.
11:01I mean, you have this pathetic, sad little flyer, and nowhere on it does it say the most important thing
11:05about the play.
11:06What's that?
11:07Full frontal.
11:08You.
11:09Naked.
11:09Now that's a reason to go to the theater.
11:12Who's doing the PR?
11:13No one.
11:14They don't have money for that kind of thing.
11:16We're getting paid like 30 bucks.
11:19Is this really what you want to do with your life?
11:22Stand in an empty theater, talking some harvest-harvest bullshit?
11:26Yeah.
11:27I love it.
11:28I'm an actor.
11:30Then I'm gonna help you.
11:34You're gonna help me be an actor?
11:36No, I'm gonna help you be a star.
11:38Look, if I have to go see you act, there better be a red carpet involved.
11:42I don't need help.
11:43All I gotta do is work on my craft.
11:45All you have to do is work on your ads.
11:49But we have to do something about your name.
11:52Jerry Jarrett.
11:53Awful.
11:54Stop talking.
11:55Whatever you say.
11:56Mad.
11:58Toby.
12:00Ryan.
12:09Is something wrong?
12:11No.
12:12No, I'm...
12:13I'm...
12:13I'm just preoccupied.
12:19Hey, Burger, it's okay.
12:20I know.
12:22About the book option.
12:27I bumped into Courtney a few days ago.
12:30Why didn't you say anything sooner?
12:32Because I just...
12:32I didn't know if...
12:33Does anyone else know?
12:34Like who?
12:36Any of your friends?
12:37Well, Miranda was with me, but you...
12:38No, I don't want her to know.
12:40She's fine.
12:40It's no big deal.
12:41It is to me.
12:42No.
12:43No, I...
12:44I meant to her.
12:51I'm sorry.
12:54What do you have to be sorry about?
12:55The shirt and the check.
12:57I just...
12:57I feel awful.
12:58I would never have...
12:59Hey, hey.
12:59This has nothing to do with that.
13:01All right?
13:01I think that that check is great.
13:03Don't feel bad about that.
13:04You earned that.
13:06Good for you.
13:08I'm proud of you.
13:20Drop the option.
13:22I'll be fine.
13:26Yes, you will be.
13:28I guess you're great.
13:30Hmm.
13:33He grunted.
13:35Ugh.
13:35End of discussion.
13:36I shouldn't have said anything.
13:38Look, when men are failing...
13:39Burger is not failing.
13:40Fine.
13:40When men are flailing.
13:42Okay, yes.
13:42There...
13:43There's a bit of a flail.
13:44They need strong women to charge in there and help.
13:47Like I did with Smith Jared.
13:49Who?
13:49Jared.
13:50I changed his name.
13:51Oh.
13:52I'm helping him with his career.
13:53And Smith is the perfect name for the next big thing.
13:58Wow.
13:59Hmm.
14:00Smith Jared, the next it boy, is so it that the glitterati are migrating to Brooklyn to see him act.
14:07Are the glitterati migrating to Brooklyn?
14:09Yes, you are.
14:10I got tickets for his all opening night.
14:13Invite everyone fabulous you know and dress up.
14:15I got a whole red carpet thing happening.
14:17Why are you doing all this?
14:19Well, he's 28 and making 30 bucks a week.
14:21The poor guy was dying.
14:23I could help.
14:24So I did.
14:25And he isn't threatened by you offering to help?
14:27Oh, no.
14:28He's a whole different generation.
14:30Younger guys aren't threatened by strong women having power.
14:34Is it a whole generation or just him?
14:38As women's roles evolve and change, we assume that men's do as well.
14:41There are hundreds upon hundreds of articles written about the new man.
14:45But does this new man really exist?
14:47Perhaps he's just the old man renamed and repackaged by some clever PR woman.
14:52Are the men of today less threatened by a woman's power or are they just acting?
15:10Hang on.
15:11Hey, you're early.
15:13Am I?
15:14Yeah.
15:14You look nice.
15:16Do I?
15:17Hey, Brady.
15:19Uh-oh.
15:21It looks like it's someone else's turn to make cupcakes.
15:24That is so cute.
15:25I never did it before, but it can't be that hard, right?
15:28Do I look like the baking type?
15:30Right.
15:32Uh, mix batter in a large bowl.
15:36Okay.
15:37Here's the bowl.
15:39Look at me.
15:40I'm baking.
15:42Miranda, you don't have to do that.
15:43Well, someone needs to help you, and Brady really has no motor skills.
15:47One condition, I get to lick the bowl.
15:50Deal.
15:51I have the milk and eggs right here.
15:53Wow, you really are going to score points on the playground this week.
15:56It's not for the playground.
15:58They're birthday cupcakes for Debbie.
16:01Fun.
16:02We're having a party, and she said she didn't want a cake.
16:05But she didn't say anything about cupcakes.
16:09So, how many cupcakes are we making?
16:12H-A-P-P-Y-B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y-D-E-B-B-I-E.
16:18Twenty.
16:19Twenty.
16:20Great.
16:25Twenty little Debbie cakes later.
16:27Bad.
16:28That's bad.
16:29That's bad, right?
16:30Here, let me do it.
16:32Shit.
16:32Ah, it's 6.30?
16:34Shit.
16:34I gotta go to work.
16:36So, okay, let's just, um, I'll finish those later.
16:39Go.
16:40Just go.
16:40I'll do it.
16:41You can't do letters anyway.
16:42Really?
16:43You sure?
16:43Go.
16:46Go.
16:47Go.
16:47Go.
16:48Thanks.
16:50Miranda, you're the best!
17:07Jenna!
17:08I'm not going.
17:09I'm not up for it.
17:11Oh, if I'm going to the theater, you're going to the theater.
17:13I can't.
17:14Are you all right?
17:15What's wrong?
17:15Oh, I'm at Steve's, and he had to go to work, and I got stuck helping him make twenty
17:22cupcakes for his girlfriend's birthday.
17:25Why would he ask you to do that?
17:27He didn't.
17:28I thought they were for the playground, and it was too late to back out, and it's my own
17:33fault.
17:34What did I think would happen?
17:36He would see how great I make cupcakes and be back in love with me.
17:39Damn it!
17:40I fucked up Debbie's bee!
17:42Put down the icing.
17:43I have to finish.
17:44Debbie cannot have your tears.
17:47No way.
17:48If I don't finish, Steve will know something's up.
17:51Miranda, you can't make those cupcakes and live with yourself.
17:54Move away from the icing.
17:56What'll I tell Steve?
17:57Blame the baby.
17:59That's what they're there for.
18:03I put it down.
18:04Good girl.
18:06Oh, God, that's burger and a cab.
18:08I'm not dressed yet.
18:08Listen to me.
18:09You get out of there, you go home, and I'll call you later, okay?
18:13Okay, I love you.
18:14Bye-bye.
18:15Me too.
18:15Bye.
18:17Bye.
18:24Surprise!
18:28That's not a cab.
18:30Nah, this will be much more fun.
18:31I haven't had her out on the open road for a long time.
18:34Well, I'm not really dressed very biker chick.
18:39Prada and all.
18:40Ah, it'll be fine.
18:41Come on.
18:41Not to be a total girl about it, but I really can't have the helmet hair when there's a
18:47red carpet situation.
18:49You know, we haven't been out on this thing the whole time we've been dating.
18:52I really want to take the bike tonight.
18:54Think how much fun it's going to be going over the Brooklyn Bridge.
18:56Huh?
18:57Come on, Carrie.
18:59For me?
19:04All right, just don't go fast.
19:06Do that, huh?
19:10There is a little-known relationship law.
19:13When your man is down and out, you have to get up and on.
19:41I told you not to go fast.
19:45Wasn't that fast.
19:46It just feels fast, because you're on the bike.
19:50Bullshit!
19:51Couldn't you feel my hands digging into you?
19:53Yeah, I thought you were excited.
19:55I was terrified!
19:57All right, well, calm down.
19:58You're safe.
20:00Look, I am not going to die on a bridge so that you can feel like some big man on
20:03a bike.
20:04What the fuck does that mean?
20:06You know exactly what it means.
20:08And I'm sorry, but I am not sorry I made that money.
20:11I worked really hard for it.
20:13And I never thought that you would be the type of guy that would have a problem with that.
20:16Well, neither did I, but I guess I do, don't I?
20:31I'm sorry about the bike.
20:34Are you going to look at me?
20:42I didn't think I was going that fast.
20:43I'm sorry.
20:44I'll never do it again.
20:46Yeah, well, I'll never get on that bike again.
20:49Look, I don't want to be this guy.
20:51I don't want to be the guy that's threatened by your success.
20:54I swear to God, I will do anything.
20:56I'll do whatever it takes.
20:57I don't want to be this guy.
21:02I think you are magnificent.
21:04I do.
21:31That is for the helmet.
21:34Come on, let's get this over with.
21:59I used to be a party girl.
22:05Can we get one along?
22:06Hello?
22:09Hello?
22:10Hello?
22:11No, no, no, no, no, no.
22:13We're together.
22:15What's his name?
22:15Jack Berger.
22:16He's a writer, too.
22:18That's great.
22:18Love it.
22:19Thanks a lot, mate.
22:19Cheers.
22:20That's wonderful.
22:27Look, just do that so we can get it right for the papers.
22:31Just isn't my night.
22:34Look, I'm really not up to going in.
22:36I'll just wreck it for everybody.
22:37You okay if I took off?
22:40You can get home with the girls, right?
22:44You okay?
22:59Hello, gorgeous.
23:02That is the worst Barbra Streisand I've ever heard.
23:04When in Brooklyn, do as the Brooklyn's do.
23:07And speaking of the worst, I have like the worst seat I've ever had.
23:10Not anymore you don't.
23:12You're sitting with me.
23:14And speaking of one alone, Charlotte sat in the theater surrounded by couples.
23:19And in one clear, crystallized moment, she felt what her life would be like with no man's.
23:26Excuse me.
23:27Okay?
23:28Miranda's not coming, so my friend Tony from Prada is sitting next to you.
23:34What's up?
23:35Hello.
23:37After all, what single girl in New York would turn down a gift from Prada?
23:44All of Manhattan is here.
23:47Who's watching the island?
23:50Benjamin.
23:51Shh.
23:53My youth.
23:55My youth.
24:14The rain came down.
24:17Hard.
24:18And soft.
24:20It hit the grass.
24:22Green.
24:23And wet.
24:26Wet.
24:28So wet.
24:30It reminded me of you.
24:33You always smelled like the rain.
24:36A stud is born.
24:47A stud is born.
24:50That night, Smith Jared's full moon became a sensation.
25:00Full frontal and he can act.
25:02Who knew?
25:04Where's Berger?
25:05Oh, he left.
25:06She's coming down with a cold.
25:08Aw.
25:09I'll see you later.
25:09Okay.
25:10Okay.
25:10Good night.
25:11Good night.
25:12Yes.
25:14Are you?
25:15Do you want to come out?
25:16Sure.
25:17Okay.
25:17Maybe we were all acting.
25:19All the time.
25:20And tonight, I was playing the part of the woman in the great relationship whose boyfriend
25:25was coming down with a cold.
25:29In New York City, where no good event gets going before 9pm, it's a very bad sign when
25:35you get invited to something that starts at 9am.
25:40What are you going to say?
25:41I'm just going to tell them that before 10am, as far as I'm concerned, everybody's guilty.
25:46I figure I'll be out in no time.
25:48Well, as long as I'm down here, I'm going to head over to J&R to look at some computer
25:51shit.
25:52When you get off, call me.
25:53We'll meet up.
25:53Do something.
25:54Well, aren't you going to write today?
25:56What does that mean?
25:57It doesn't mean anything.
25:58It was just a question.
26:00What did you think I was going to do?
26:01Sit on my ass all day and slack off?
26:03No, I didn't mean it like that.
26:07Look, it's early.
26:09Right.
26:10It's early.
26:11And it's also a very bad sign when a couple is fighting before 9am.
26:16You know what we need right now?
26:18A Hollywood kiss.
26:20Here?
26:21We have coffee.
26:24Come on.
26:26Hollywood kiss.
26:32Better?
26:34Better.
26:37I'll see you later.
26:38Love you.
26:39Love you too.
26:40Wish me luck.
26:42Hang them high.
26:48Hi.
26:49I hope you can help me with this.
26:51I feel terrible, but I don't think that I can serve jury duty today.
26:55You see, I work for myself as a freelance writer and no one can cover for me.
27:02Welcome to jury duty.
27:18I'm going to be a little late tonight.
27:21I'm going to be a little late tonight.
27:26I'm going to be a little late tonight.
27:35Let's go.
27:36I mean, how am I going to be a little late tonight?
27:37Oh, look.
27:39Say bye-bye.
27:41Bye-bye, mommy.
27:42No, no.
27:43Bye-bye, Brady.
27:44Oh, no.
27:45It's all right.
27:46Along with her coffee, feeling guilty had become a part of Miranda's daily routine.
27:51Let me help you, darling.
27:53Thanks, Lenore.
27:54You have done such a wonderful job with this event.
27:57Macaroons on the outside, dear.
27:59Oh, I just hope people enjoy it.
28:01I'm sure they will.
28:03Charlotte had been guilted into joining the synagogue's sisterhood society.
28:07Now, I know since Harry, you've been coming to Temple alone.
28:12The breakup was bad news for you, but good news for me.
28:16Hence, good news for you.
28:18Lenore, what are you saying over there?
28:20I have someone for you.
28:23Now, I know I don't look old enough to have a son your age, but...
28:26I do.
28:27Charlotte, darling, I have two single sons, both perfect for you.
28:32Uh-uh-uh, Barbara, I told you I wanted to fix her up with my david.
28:37Charlotte may have been there to arrange the cookies,
28:40but Barbara, Elaine, and Lenore were there to arrange her next marriage.
28:44Meanwhile, Samantha had used her pushiness to parlay her new man's hit off-Broadway show
28:49into a hot on-Broadway poster.
28:52Fuck me.
28:53Well, that's the first thing every woman in town will be saying after she sees it.
28:57It's huge.
28:58And that's the second.
29:00And honey, I'm not even sure the poster does your justice.
29:03Come on, my dick's like three stories long.
29:05The way God and Madison Avenue intended.
29:11Sometimes, when you're sitting on a jury,
29:13it may seem as if all you're doing is a lot of waiting around.
29:16But to the contrary, the catalyst for the resolution of the lawsuit
29:20is the fact that you were there, ready to hear the evidence and render a verdict.
29:25You are not just sitting around,
29:26but rather playing an indispensable role in our justice system.
29:30But now, let's take a look at the flow of a typical trial.
29:34Whether you're serving on a civil or criminal trial,
29:37there's a general procedure that is followed.
29:39You may hear opening statements by the opposing attorneys,
29:42each presenting their sides of the dispute.
29:44This is not evidence.
29:46It's just so weird.
29:48I mean, a mango isn't even a fruit you can bite into.
29:51I do believe it is the oddest thing you can pull out of a briefcase.
29:55Except for a pineapple.
29:56Oh.
29:57The moment he pulls out a pineapple, I want you to call me.
30:05Charlotte, what are you doing?
30:08Where are we hiding?
30:09I'm on the worst date of my life.
30:11Oh, oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
30:14This woman from the temple sent me out with her son, and he's awful.
30:17You have to help me?
30:18Okay.
30:19Pull on your cell phone.
30:20Tell me something bad happened.
30:22Then I'll rush out.
30:23Okay, then when the guy leaves, we'll call you.
30:24He'll come back and eat with us.
30:25Yes.
30:25Okay.
30:25Okay.
30:29We've been dating a long time.
30:30We have contingency plans.
30:37I asked for more bread, but they haven't brought it yet.
30:42Okay.
30:46Oh, I'm sorry.
30:47I wouldn't normally get that, but maybe something bad happened.
30:53Hello?
30:53Hey, Charlotte, it's me.
30:54Something bad happened.
30:55Something bad happened?
30:58I knew it was going to be terrible.
31:00The man brought me carnations.
31:01I see.
31:02Wait, hold up.
31:03The man brought you flowers?
31:04What an asshole.
31:06Not flowers, carnations.
31:08What's wrong with carnations?
31:09Ugh, they're filler flowers.
31:11Would you dump the guy if he brought you carnations?
31:12Me?
31:13No, but I happen to like carnations, especially the pink ones.
31:16In fact, I think they're making a comeback.
31:18I would, however, throw away a guy for wearing docksiders or topsiders or any of the above.
31:22No, those are cute.
31:23So, basically, guys are just fucked.
31:25No, that's not true.
31:27None of that matters with the right guy.
31:28Harry was bald, and he talked with his mouth full.
31:32But I loved him anyway.
31:33Right, because he didn't bring you filler flowers.
31:35No, because I loved him.
31:37Of course you did, sweetie.
31:38You don't say that to her.
31:40I'm sorry.
31:41I was just trying to be funny.
31:42Well, it wasn't funny.
31:44Yeah, it wasn't funny.
31:45I'm a slacker.
31:46I guess if I were wearing top-siders, I wouldn't be here.
31:51Good evening.
31:52You folks ready to order?
31:53Um, yes.
31:54Uh, let's see.
31:55Um, I'm gonna start with the goat cheese salad, and then I'll have the tuna.
31:59But, um, sir, can you make sure there's no parsley on anything?
32:02I'm just really allergic.
32:04Not even a sprinkling of it on the plate.
32:05Yeah, you got it.
32:06No parsley.
32:06And can, actually, can, um, can you ask the chef if the marinade for the tuna has parsley in it?
32:12Because if it does, I should probably change my order.
32:14I'll go check.
32:16You're not allergic.
32:18What?
32:18You're not allergic.
32:19I don't like it.
32:20Why don't you just say that?
32:21Because when I say that, parsley somehow magically appears on the plate, and I feel bad because I have to
32:27send it back.
32:28You didn't even order something that usually comes with parsley.
32:31It comes with everything.
32:32You know what, guys?
32:33I actually have to, I, I totally forgot.
32:35I'm glad I, I, I, I have to, I, go.
32:38Bye.
32:40Charlotte decided to leave her second bad date of the night.
32:49Uh, you can just drop us at the corner of, uh, 73rd and Madison.
32:53Thanks.
32:54Well, actually, can you go around?
32:56It's 73rd between Park and Madison.
33:00I'm in heels.
33:06I can't believe you put me down in front of your friend.
33:09I didn't put you down.
33:11Okay, great.
33:12Now you're going to tell me what I feel?
33:14I'm not telling you what you feel.
33:16Here we go again.
33:20What's going on with us?
33:23When did you stop being on my side?
33:25When did you stop being on my side?
33:34This isn't working.
33:36You're right.
33:37I think we should take a break.
33:38Are you serious?
33:39I think we need some time apart.
33:42Well, I know things haven't been great, but...
33:47How long have you been thinking about this?
33:49Right up here is fine.
33:50Our third brown's down on the right.
33:59Uh, no, actually, wait.
34:00There's going to be two stops.
34:02Wait, you want to take the break starting now?
34:05I thought you would at least come up.
34:06I mean, we need to talk.
34:07No, I, I don't need to talk.
34:09Okay, I need some time to think.
34:12Well, how much time?
34:14About a week.
34:16I'm going to go out to my Hampton's house.
34:17I just need some distance.
34:20Sort through stuff.
34:21Is that okay?
34:22What?
34:23I'm just, I'm supposed to decide what I feel about this with the meter running?
34:30Yeah, okay, go.
34:32I'll call you when I get back.
34:38Well, thanks for dinner.
34:49I knew we were having problems, but a break?
34:51What am I, some horrible job he needs to get away from?
34:54A break isn't always a bad thing.
34:56Oh, come on.
34:57It's a hop, skip, and a week from a breakup.
34:59Or it's the thing that saves you from saying the things that you wish you could take back, but you
35:02can't.
35:03If Harry and I had taken a break, then maybe I wouldn't be out on blind dates again.
35:07Hey, remember when a break was a good thing?
35:09Spring break, coffee break.
35:11Now it's break up, break down.
35:14They keep getting worse.
35:15What's next?
35:16Hip break?
35:17You know what I think?
35:18I think don't do that.
35:21Do what?
35:23Well, I'm sorry, I'm upset.
35:26Well, don't be.
35:27You'll be even more upset when your face is all lined.
35:30As far as I'm concerned, the test of a good relationship is, are you like this?
35:35Or like this?
35:38That is the test of a good relationship?
35:41Or a good dermatologist.
35:42Make fun.
35:43But a bump in the road is never good, and you shouldn't bother staying around to find
35:47out how not good.
35:48Well, it's not all frowns.
35:49Burger and I have a lot of good stuff, too.
35:51It's complicated.
35:52Complicated by the fact that the man had to go all the way to Long Island to think this
35:56through.
35:56Maybe you can send him a postcard.
36:00That is the most blatant agenda pushing I have ever seen.
36:03And the most effective.
36:05Wow.
36:06I just wish I knew what he was thinking.
36:08Oh, who cares?
36:09Look at his pecs.
36:11I meant burger.
36:12It's so frustrating.
36:13What am I supposed to do?
36:14Just sit around, waiting to find out whether he chooses me?
36:17I'm doing that all day at jury duty, and it sucks.
36:20Here's an idea.
36:21Why don't you use this time to think about what you want?
36:24Remember you?
36:25What do you want?
36:26Up.
36:32The next day, I got to thinking about trials and trial separations.
36:36In a courtroom, a jury decides the outcome.
36:39In a relationship, the victims have to decide their own fate.
36:43How can two people mired in the mess ever figure it out?
36:47Do we need distance to get close?
36:52Uh, sorry.
36:53Cab gridlock situation.
36:55They should rename the West Side Highway the No Way Highway.
36:58Uh, let me just pull out my files on the McKenzie case.
37:00We're not here to discuss the McKenzie case.
37:02Oh!
37:03I'm sorry, then.
37:04What is this meeting about?
37:05You.
37:07We're concerned.
37:09It's been noted recently that you've been late to important meetings and are struggling to handle your caseload.
37:15I'm sorry, Maurice.
37:17I don't know what you mean.
37:18I was late today, but...
37:19Actually, you've been late rather frequently.
37:21There was the deposition last Tuesday and the motion hearing last Friday, and you left early on Monday.
37:27Way to watch my back, Fern.
37:29I understand.
37:30It's been difficult.
37:30With the new baby and all.
37:32Got it.
37:34No problem.
37:35Won't happen again.
37:36But let me say, as far as the McKenzie brief, Miranda Hobbs is kicking ass.
37:41Where I'm doing a bad job is at home.
37:43So, if you'll excuse me.
37:45I have work to do.
37:49And may I remind you that when my mother died, I was back in the office on Monday.
37:54Can you help me?
38:05Guess what I'm drinking.
38:06An absolute hunk.
38:07You're a drink.
38:10And you are delish.
38:12Take off that ski cap.
38:14Let people see you.
38:15I don't want people to see me.
38:17Everybody's giving me shit about the poster.
38:19Oh, you're insane.
38:20People love it.
38:21Not my people.
38:22My sober buddies are pissed that I'm shelling for a liquor company.
38:25My acting class thinks I'm a sellout.
38:27My ma's running around every grocery store in Seattle hiding magazines so my 96-year-old grandmother doesn't see my
38:31dick.
38:32Drunks, nobody's, prudes.
38:35I just don't see where this is going.
38:37It would be one thing if I was getting auditions.
38:39But nothing's happening.
38:41I'm sorry to bother you, but are you the absolute hunk?
38:44Yes, he is.
38:46Well, I just wanted to say that my friends and I are huge, huge fans.
38:50Oh, my God.
38:51Bye.
38:54It's working.
38:55What did I tell you?
38:56How does those guys toasting me mean my acting career is happening?
38:59First come the gays, then the girls, then the industry.
39:05Cheers.
39:08And speaking of absolute gay, Charlotte was on a lunch date with Yunta No. 2's son.
39:13So, I mean, I guess I just knew it wasn't going to work out.
39:16I mean, I like practicing Pilates, but I don't want to talk about it all day with my significant other.
39:21I mean, what are you looking for exactly in a significant other?
39:27Look, we don't need to do this.
39:29I mean, you know I'm gay.
39:30I know I'm gay.
39:31The only person who doesn't know I'm gay is my mother.
39:34So, if you really want to know what my type is, that's it.
39:38I know him.
39:40Get out.
39:41Get out!
39:42Could you introduce me?
39:44Actually, he's straight.
39:46Oh.
39:47My brother will be so disappointed.
39:49We're obsessed with him.
39:54Charlotte, honey.
39:55Hi, Elaine.
39:56You went out with a faggala and a miscud and you can't go out with my David.
40:00It's just those blind dates are so...
40:02Wait, not so blind.
40:03I showed David your picture from the last newsletter and he thought you were a knockout.
40:07Well, that's nice.
40:09I told him you'd be at the next single and mingle night at the temple.
40:11You could meet there.
40:12He's a looker, my David.
40:15Now, I know most people say that about their children, but he is.
40:19Oh.
40:19And he's even better looking in person.
40:21So, you'll meet him.
40:24Never had braces.
40:25Can you imagine?
40:27Some people are bullied into blind dating.
40:29Charlotte was bubbied.
40:32I'm here.
40:33I'm here.
40:35Is he still awake?
40:36Oh, no, no.
40:37A boy got to sleep an hour ago.
40:41Great.
40:42It's great.
40:47Well, I just guess I can just get back to my work then.
40:56That night, the only thing Miranda put to bed was the McKenzie brief.
41:02The next day, the verdict was in.
41:05Century 21, the downtown discount store was the best part of jury duty.
41:12Hello.
41:12I'm with two men in plaid pants, and I'm carrying a nine iron.
41:16Greetings from California.
41:18Oh, you think that's bad?
41:19I'm discount shopping.
41:20What are you doing golfing?
41:22I'm just in it for the scotch afterwards.
41:24How are things?
41:26Pretty good.
41:27So far, I've found the most unbelievable animal in our address, and a dolce kimono.
41:31I'm ending your life.
41:34How's tricks?
41:35Tricks are for kids.
41:36Okay, kid.
41:38So how's it going with that guy, uh, hot dog?
41:40Burger.
41:41Why do you ask?
41:42Because we're friends, and friends ask other friends how things are in their lives.
41:46Besides, I don't tee off for another ten minutes.
41:49Uh, we're great.
41:50Great.
41:51Moved in together yet?
41:52Um, actually, we're taking it slow.
41:56What's that mean?
41:57Well, we're kind of taking a break.
41:59You're taking a break?
42:00A little break.
42:01I don't know why I told him.
42:02I think I crumbled under questioning.
42:04You haven't been together that long.
42:05Where are you taking a break from?
42:06Well, sometimes a person needs a little space.
42:08From you?
42:09This guy must be crazy.
42:11Spoken by the man who moved 3,000 miles away.
42:15You know, a break can be a very good thing.
42:17As long as you're all right with it.
42:19I am very okay with it.
42:20In fact...
42:21Here, you're breaking up.
42:22No, we're not.
42:23Burger and I will figure...
42:24No, your cell phone is breaking up.
42:25I can hardly hear you.
42:26Hello?
42:28With an armful of discount clothing, I realized I could no longer discount my felines.
42:33I decided to rent a car and drive the distance to get closer to Burger.
42:45I paid $187 to drive 40 feet.
42:48What did I think I was going to do?
42:50Badger my boyfriend into being with me?
42:52Well, that's one option.
42:53I just keep thinking, you know, if I stick with it, just try it a little harder...
42:59Carrie, you know how much I like Burger, but come on.
43:03No one can accuse you of not having tried.
43:05You did good.
43:06I mean, Burger can be threatened and insecure, and sometimes he shuts down, but he's also smart and funny.
43:15Like, he made up this thing, this Hollywood kiss thing.
43:20Whenever we're being pissy with each other, we do this fake Hollywood kiss bit.
43:24Who makes us laugh?
43:26You guys need a bit?
43:28I know, it isn't working.
43:30Why is it so hard to admit that?
43:33God, I gotta break up with him.
43:36If he ever comes back.
43:37Oh, come in!
43:39Oh, looky, here's the money.
43:40Hey, Guy, where's your bag?
43:42There we go, yeah.
43:44Oh, Magda, I'll see you at eight tomorrow.
43:46Thank you for everything.
43:47It's okay.
43:48Don't cry, Magda, to be back tomorrow, huh?
43:50Hey, I missed you today.
43:53How are you?
43:53Bye-bye, baby.
43:55No, no, cry.
43:56Oh, dear darling.
43:57Bye-bye.
44:00What's wrong with him?
44:02Oh, he'll be fine.
44:03He just misses his mommy.
44:06Magda.
44:07It's okay.
44:08The next day, Miranda decided to do something about that.
44:13We both know that this isn't working.
44:14And as much as I would like it to, it's not just going to magically change.
44:18What are you saying?
44:19I can't keep working like this.
44:21I'm going to have to cut way back.
44:24To 50 hours a week.
44:3055 tops.
44:43That night, Miranda was there to put Brady to bed.
44:46But there would still be times when she wouldn't be around.
44:49So Miranda found a way to be around.
44:53Yeah.
44:55And at bus stops all around town.
44:58Fucking A.
44:59Everybody in New York thinks I'm an asshole.
45:02Listen, Blondie.
45:03If you're going to be in this business, you're going to have to be a lot more thick-skinned than
45:06this.
45:07What business?
45:08The naked hustler business?
45:09Look, I understand you're upset, but you're going to have to take a step backwards and see the big picture.
45:13I need some time to think.
45:15I'll see you later.
45:15Stop right there.
45:18So there's a bump in the road.
45:20You can't bail the minute things get rough.
45:23Now trust me, this will all work out.
45:27What if you're wrong?
45:29There it was.
45:30A frown.
45:31Or as close to a frown as Samantha and her dermatologist, Dr. Peterson, would allow.
45:35Oh my God, look!
45:36There he is!
45:37The absolute hump!
45:38Oh my God!
45:40What did I tell you?
45:41First the gaze, now the gorge.
45:44Oh my God!
45:47A hop, skip, and a week later, the industry followed.
45:51Gus Van Sant offered Smith the part of a model-slash-hustler-slash-junkie in his latest movie, which he
45:56happily accepted.
45:59You grew up in Connecticut.
46:00I went to school there.
46:01Really?
46:02Where'd you go?
46:02Yale.
46:03Oh.
46:05Something wrong with Yale?
46:07No, no, it's just...
46:10Yale.
46:11Charlotte knew how silly she sounded.
46:13The problem wasn't that David went to Yale.
46:15The problem was, he wasn't Harry.
46:18David.
46:20You're really nice.
46:21In fact, you're perfect.
46:23But for where I am right now, you might as well be a gay man with carnations.
46:28I'm sorry?
46:30I'm just not ready to date.
46:32Okay.
46:34Do you want to go back to my apartment and have sex?
46:37No.
46:38I figured it was worth asking.
46:42Okay.
46:44Nothing?
46:44I'm going to head out?
46:45Bye.
46:53This blows.
46:54The only cute guy just left.
46:56All that's left is the fatties and the baldies.
46:59Charlotte could only hope that one of the baldies was her baldy.
47:22Out of all the synagogues and all the cities, you had a walk in a mine.
47:27Harry.
47:29How you been?
47:32Not good.
47:35I miss you.
47:37And being away from you just only made it all the more clear how much I love you.
47:42Charlotte.
47:43Wait.
47:44Let me finish.
47:46I don't care if you ever marry me.
47:49I just want to be with you.
47:52I would be lucky to have you.
47:56So if you can find some way to forgive me, if you could just call me or just ask me
48:01out again.
48:04Well, that's not good enough.
48:14Charlotte York, will you marry me?
48:23Yes.
48:24Yes, I'll marry you.
48:26Oh.
48:30I am so coming back next week.
48:41It wasn't a pineapple, but it was just as weird.
48:44And there was only one other person who would really appreciate it.
48:48At that moment, I knew I wasn't ready to let Burger go.
48:51Okay, people.
48:52You're released.
48:58Who is it?
49:00It's me.
49:01I'm back.
49:03Oh.
49:04Well, come on up.
49:05When it comes to a trial, you have to listen to the evidence.
49:08But when it comes to the trials of love, you have to listen to your heart.
49:12I didn't know what Burger's verdict would be, but I knew mine.
49:22I hear they're making a comeback.
49:31Hey, Burger, I know things have been bad, but I really think...
49:34I know.
49:36I love you, Carrie.
49:38I want to try to make this work.
49:44Hey, you're never going to believe it.
49:46You're not a mango guy?
49:47Hey, he pulled out...
49:48A pineapple?
49:49A coconut.
49:50Oh, so close.
49:52I know.
49:53I know.
49:53I know.
50:10I know.
50:11Let's go.
50:42Let's go.