- 1 day ago
First broadcast 12th October 2012.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Bill Bailey
Sandi Toksvig
Susan Calman
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Bill Bailey
Sandi Toksvig
Susan Calman
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, and it's the fewest times I've ever said good evening, and welcome
00:09to QI, where tonight we'll be journeying to jetstinations, beginning with J, and joining me are the jet-skiing, Sandy
00:19Tuxvig,
00:23the jet-setting, Susan Kalman,
00:30the jet-engined Bill Bailey,
00:37and still being probed by Gatwick Security, Alan Davies.
00:47Now let's hear your buzzers, and Sandy goes,
00:53Susan goes,
00:58Bill goes,
01:04and Alan goes,
01:09try that again,
01:13it's never going to work, is it?
01:14Yeah, absolutely, well let's have an easy one to start with, strictly speaking, where does the phrase chariots of fire
01:21come from?
01:22It's a film.
01:24Where does it originate?
01:26It's something to do with this.
01:28Where does the, where does the phrase originate?
01:32It's a quotation.
01:33It's a quotation.
01:34From what?
01:35Shakespeare, must be Shakespeare.
01:37And, oh, those chariots of fire.
01:39Well, Jerusalem, the hymn Jerusalem.
01:40Oh, no.
01:42Oh, no.
01:44You fell, finally, into our trap.
01:46Finally, Phil.
01:47Sorry, it's a slight question.
01:48It's embarrassing how long it took you to get the wrong answer.
01:52Yes, I did start by saying, strictly speaking.
01:55Strictly speaking comes from a poem by William Blake called...
02:00Chariots of Fire.
02:03I'm ashamed of you.
02:06You must know the first line of...
02:09I must, but I can't be asked to tell you.
02:11Well, you're not.
02:13That's fair.
02:14And.
02:15And.
02:16Did.
02:16Those feet in ancient times.
02:19Oh, I know that.
02:21Yes.
02:22That's the name of the poem from which the line chariots of fire comes.
02:28The tune is called Jerusalem.
02:29And it's referred mistakenly as an ancient time.
02:34Thank you for starting in my key.
02:36Love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
02:40Come on!
02:44Oh, clouds unfold.
02:46Yes, really what I'm after is, what does it mean?
02:49And whose feet?
02:50And did those feet in ancient times appear on England's mountain screen?
02:54Whose feet?
02:55Jesus, surely.
02:56Right, so what is the story of Jesus coming to England?
02:59Is there a film about it?
03:01Yes.
03:02Not to my knowledge.
03:04Well, then I'm in trouble.
03:06This is what people say now, when they don't know the answer, they say,
03:09I'm out of my comfort zone.
03:12You have been the equivalent of sitting on spikes for the last ten years.
03:17Yet to discover your comfort zone.
03:20OK, listen, there is a legend that Jesus came to England.
03:25Yes.
03:25And did those feet, i.e. those feet, his feet, in ancient times.
03:28Yes.
03:29And he was said to have gone to a particular place.
03:32Was it Glastonbury?
03:33The audience knows.
03:34Ah, thank you.
03:36Glastonbury.
03:36Glastonbury.
03:37Glastonbury tore.
03:38And he went with his uncle.
03:39What was his uncle's name?
03:41Bob.
03:41Um.
03:43Uncle Bob Christ.
03:44Bob Christ.
03:48They were a bit more, surely, they were more informal in those times, surely, Bob Christ.
03:53His uncle's name was the same as his father's name.
03:56Joseph.
03:57Joseph.
03:57And he was named after a place.
03:59Um, um.
04:00Is it like working with very slow children?
04:04Thank you, say it again so the camera can get it.
04:06Oh, right.
04:07Uh-oh.
04:08This is a new thing we're doing.
04:09Hang on a second.
04:09Um, let's see.
04:11Hey!
04:14I was just...
04:15I was exposing my face.
04:17Joseph Avara for fear.
04:18No, I'll tell you.
04:20I'll tell you.
04:22Joseph Avara for fear.
04:23I'm going to throw cold water at you both in a minute.
04:27Don't live in Arimathea!
04:28Don't live in Arimathea!
04:28All right.
04:29Don't live in Arimathea!
04:30It was the first ever Glastonbury festival, if you will.
04:34It was, yes.
04:35That was that Jesus supposedly came with his uncle, Joseph of Arimathea, who is mentioned
04:39in the Gospels.
04:41Right.
04:41Although, it has to be said, Arimathea is only mentioned once, and that is in relation
04:46to the place Joseph came from.
04:48No one knows where it is, where it was, where it could have been.
04:50Anyway.
04:51It could have been a falafel tent.
04:52Exactly.
04:54But Jesus was effectively the first act then.
04:57He was the first act ever to appear at Glastonbury.
05:00Was he a juggler?
05:00Did he have bongos?
05:01Yeah.
05:01Was he doing the Diablo thing?
05:03No, he wouldn't do the Diablo thing.
05:05No, no, no.
05:05He did holistic balancing.
05:07Three rooms of banging scripture.
05:09All right.
05:10Okay.
05:10So there was a myth.
05:12Yes.
05:12That Jesus and Joseph of Arimathea kept...
05:14Supposedly Joseph of Arimathea was after tin.
05:17Ah.
05:17And he came with Jesus, and he went to Glastonbury tour, and there's a tree.
05:21Tree, isn't there?
05:21The Glastonbury tree.
05:22It's about the Glastonbury.
05:23Should Mary come?
05:24Was planted.
05:25Sorry?
05:25Mary, the mother.
05:26I just wondered if mum came as well.
05:27I don't think she did.
05:28Boys weekend.
05:30Boys weekend.
05:31That's right.
05:32But I would give you 20 points each, if you could mention the two other places that
05:36the myth says they went to.
05:37Glastonbury is one.
05:38But they were said to have gone to two other places.
05:40Oh, wait.
05:41I know this.
05:41Talking.
05:42No.
05:42Because there's a group called the Aetherius Society.
05:45Right.
05:45And they believe...
05:46Oh, they're your neighbours, aren't they?
05:47They're my neighbours in Devon.
05:49And they believe that Christ appeared to them on the top of this hill.
05:53And the founder of the Aetherius Society said...
05:57He was doing the washing up in his flat, and he heard a voice, said,
06:00you have been chosen as the planetary representative of Earth.
06:07Right.
06:08And so immediately he went, oh, right, I better do that then.
06:11Oh, yeah.
06:12So he left the drying up.
06:14Left the drying up for someone else.
06:16Can I just ask how much Bill knows about washing up?
06:19Because you do it like you're typing.
06:20You did that for washing up.
06:22Yeah.
06:24A little gentle caress of each thing, and then it's done.
06:29He eats his dinner with old keyboards.
06:33That's my life.
06:34Anyway, the places where, in fact, Penzance was one,
06:37and the other was Falmouth.
06:40Oh, I see.
06:40And I'm sure he had a lovely time.
06:41A pasty.
06:42Did he have a pasty?
06:42He would have had a pasty.
06:44Now, what can you tell me, as we were on the subject of Jerusalem,
06:48about the Jerusalem artichoke?
06:50Well, it isn't.
06:51It isn't what?
06:52From Jerusalem.
06:54It's not from Jerusalem.
06:55Right.
06:55That's absolutely correct.
06:56What else can you tell me?
06:57You said it's not from Jerusalem.
06:59It's not an artichoke.
07:00And it's not an artichoke.
07:02Do you know why?
07:03It's just a lie.
07:04The whole thing's a lie.
07:05Oh, exactly.
07:06Jerusalem artichoke.
07:07Not from Jerusalem.
07:08Not an artichoke.
07:09You don't know who you are.
07:09The word Jerusalem is a corruption of what it actually is.
07:13We used to grow them in America.
07:15We used to grow them when I grew up in New York.
07:16We used to grow them, and they looked like sunflowers.
07:17You know, oddly enough, you say America, it is the only endemic, original, natural vegetable
07:25from North America.
07:26Is that right?
07:27There is none other.
07:28What's that?
07:28Potatoes come from Central and Southern America, as do tomatoes and chilies.
07:32There are some wild rices that come from Canada and North America, but that is the only.
07:38Isn't that bizarre?
07:39That's a whole landmass.
07:40That's extraordinary.
07:40There are squashes and all those other things, but not.
07:42Yes, but they're not.
07:43So if it looks like a sunflower, and you say it's...
07:44No, say sunflower in Italian.
07:48Girasole.
07:49Girasole.
07:49Girasole.
07:50Girasole.
07:50Gira, turn, as in gyroscope, to the sun.
07:53Girasole.
07:54Girasole.
07:54And Girasole became Jerusalem.
07:57Oh, yes.
07:57It's the same thing.
07:58We call that a sun, because they turned.
08:00And the Greek, I'd be very impressed if you know what's Greek for sun, turn.
08:03If I knew what it was, you'd be more than impressed.
08:05Sun.
08:06Sun.
08:07Sun.
08:07Sun.
08:07Sun.
08:08But you know what the Greek for sun is?
08:12Helios.
08:13Helios, okay.
08:14Helios.
08:14Helios.
08:16Heliotrope.
08:17Helios.
08:19Girasole is the right answer.
08:20Girasole is the right answer.
08:21We got there.
08:23Girasole and heliotrope, and they all mean the same thing, because it was noted that the
08:27members of the sunflower family, following the course of the sun, is the sun.
08:30That's right.
08:31A lot of lizards are heliotropic as well.
08:32Indeed they are.
08:33Absolutely right.
08:34Because they're cold-blooded and they need the sun to warm them.
08:37Katie Price is heliotropic.
08:39She is.
08:41I think, I think, I think, I think, I think Harrow Road, I think Harrow Road sun parlour
08:54tropic is not quite the same.
08:56I met her once, we were on the same breakfast television programme, and I said, what are you
09:01here to talk about yourself, just to publish my autobiography?
09:05Oh.
09:05And I said, oh, well done.
09:06She said, yes, I'm looking forward to reading it.
09:13It's an odd thing about Jerusalem.
09:14For some reason it seems to attract things that really just, just don't seem to be particularly
09:19connected.
09:20The Jerusalem cherry is not a cherry.
09:22It's actually a poisonous nightshade.
09:24Wow.
09:25The Jerusalem cricket is not a cricket, it's another kind of insect.
09:29Yeah.
09:30Jerusalem sage is not a proper sage.
09:32What?
09:33None of them is from Jerusalem.
09:34So essentially you can put Jerusalem next to anything that isn't actually what it is and
09:38then it just becomes fact.
09:39Exactly.
09:40I'm wearing Jerusalem glasses.
09:41And I'm a Jerusalem model.
09:43Yes.
09:45Mountain also has that, you've got mountain lions.
09:48The mountain cow is in fact a...
09:51Katie Price.
09:54What is it?
09:57It's actually a tapir, one of those long-nosed South American...
10:00Oh, yes, yes.
10:01The tapir.
10:02Anyway, we're ready to move on.
10:03So, why might my pocket smell of fish?
10:19They've done that thing where they take my body and they put it on the head of someone
10:23who was a big one.
10:24They hate when they do that.
10:26God, that's like a dream I had last night.
10:30It's not like a dream I've ever had.
10:34Obviously, if you're a fisherman, if you're...
10:36Yeah.
10:37But if you were a person of high rank in society, particular society, your pockets might smell
10:42of fish.
10:43Oh.
10:43The fishmonger society.
10:45Well, no, that's what I mean.
10:47Aside from the obvious professional reasons why you might smell them, it's a society in which
10:52it was considered polite, not to eat, but to pocket the fish at a banquet.
10:58Is it Japanese?
10:59Yes!
11:00Oh, fish, fish, they love fish.
11:01Japanese, that's exactly right.
11:02Medieval Japanese society, at weddings and banquets and other sorts of things, it was
11:07right to drink the drink you were given, but that you should take the fish, bring it
11:11up to your mouth, and then tuck it away into your pocket.
11:14I know it seems very odd.
11:16What?
11:16It's just a social...
11:17I've done that with sausage rolls for the dogs later.
11:20We've all done it with certain things, I agree.
11:23But it is an interesting thing, and they still have a tradition in Japan, when a baby is a
11:28hundred days old, is to take food, sea bream and beans and soya and rice, and wave it in
11:34front of the baby's face, but not let the baby eat it.
11:38Don't do it, so there's people dangling fish in front of babies, this is...
11:43Right, okay, on what, on a fishing line?
11:46No, no.
11:48From the food cupboard or the fridge, which in Japan would be filled with all kinds of
11:53different fish, as you could imagine.
11:54I see, I see.
11:55Sashimi.
11:55Sashimi and sushi and all kinds of other such things.
11:58Yeah, in fact, while on the subject of sashimi, what is the difference in sushi and sashimi?
12:02Sashimi is raw fish, and sushi is rice and seaweed.
12:07Yes, it's rolled in rice.
12:08And the particular thing about sashimi is not just that it's raw fish, but that it's...
12:12It's sliced.
12:13Sliced.
12:13Sliced.
12:13Sliced.
12:14Cutting.
12:15Huge knife skills are incredibly important in Japanese cuisine.
12:20And this particularly used to be true in the medieval period.
12:22And in carp, for example, there were at least 47 different ways of cutting carp, which
12:29represented different aspects of human life or activity.
12:33For example, there was departing for battle carp.
12:36So soldiers would have carp carved in a certain way before they went to battle.
12:41They weren't told they were going to battle.
12:42The carp was the giveaway.
12:44Yeah, exactly.
12:45There was celebratory carp, who was taking a bride carp.
12:51Ooh.
12:53Flower viewing carp.
12:54No.
12:55Oh.
12:57Warning, warning carp.
12:59Look out, carp.
13:00Moon, moon viewing carp.
13:02And so it was a very important part, obviously, of Japanese life, was the way they prepared fish.
13:06It's a wonderful art, obviously, and it's a very popular cuisine now around the world.
13:11I have an amusing joke that I always say when I'm in a Japanese restaurant.
13:15Bring me a various selection of things to drink, waiter, and don't get all sake.
13:19Oh, yes.
13:19Hey!
13:20Hey!
13:21What actually is sake?
13:22What is sake?
13:23Rice...
13:24Rice wine.
13:25Rice wine, you said, Alan.
13:26Yeah.
13:27Rice wine.
13:27Alan came in first with rice wine.
13:28Hey!
13:29Eat it!
13:32It is not rice wine.
13:33Oh, no.
13:34No.
13:34Is it from Jerusalem?
13:38The word sake simply means alcoholic drink.
13:40But the sake we think of as sake is, in fact, a kind of beer.
13:44Oh.
13:46The word they use for the drink we call sake is nihonshu, which means Japanese liquor.
13:52Nihon, as in Nippon.
13:53Nihon, yes.
13:53Anyway, originally, people would just chew rice and spit into a large container, and the
13:58enzymes from the spittle would cause the breakdown of starch into sugars, which would
14:03cause the fermentation which would make the sake.
14:06So it is actually a strong beer, not a wine.
14:09A wine is a fruit-based drink, usually grape, obviously.
14:12What other kinds of particularly Japanese things can you do to food, make it Japanese?
14:19You can put it in tempura.
14:21Tempura.
14:22Funny you should say that, because tempura was actually introduced to Japan.
14:25And I would give you ten points if you can tell me which nation taught the Japanese to
14:30batter things, which is essentially...
14:31Scottish.
14:33You'd think, wouldn't you?
14:35You would think...
14:36Surely there's a ginger-haired man somewhere.
14:38I mean, one of those medieval scrolls.
14:41You want to deep fry that?
14:43Yeah.
14:44I mean, what's it?
14:45Can you give me roots?
14:46Have you got any eggs?
14:46Oddly enough, no.
14:47It was the Portuguese.
14:49Portuguese.
14:51They also go Vindaloo.
14:52The name Vindaloo is originally from Portuguese origin, from Goa.
14:55Yup.
14:56I thought that was a French...
14:57Vindaloo, toilet water.
14:58Goa, as you know.
15:01But there you go.
15:02Anyway, so lots of interesting things about Japanese food.
15:06Now, what do people in Java use for a quick pick-me-up?
15:12Right now.
15:13Well...
15:14That's a happy-looking man.
15:15Not going to say.
15:17Go on.
15:17Okay.
15:18In for a penny.
15:19Go on.
15:21What was it?
15:23Uh...
15:23Oh, you are so...
15:25Coffee.
15:26Coffee.
15:27Yay!
15:28Coffee.
15:29There we are.
15:29So...
15:31Coffee does not pick you up.
15:33You may think it does.
15:34If you drink coffee regularly, you get withdrawal symptoms, and all coffee does is put you back
15:40on the same level that a non-coffee drinker is on.
15:43It doesn't speed your reflexes.
15:45It doesn't help you concentrate.
15:47It doesn't do anything.
15:48It can cause anxiety.
15:50Yeah.
15:51That's the worst of it.
15:52It's a shocker.
15:52It's a kind of wired anxiety, but what it isn't is a pick-me-up or an energizer.
15:56No.
15:57It's not a stimulant, in that sense.
15:59In fact, what most scientists recommend is you either drink coffee regularly, in which
16:03case you satisfy your body's need and withdrawal symptoms, or you don't drink it at all.
16:08The problem most people who have...
16:09They're not getting on, are they?
16:10...with coffee...
16:12...is when they suddenly go on a bit of a coffee jag, they go to a country that does
16:16very good coffee, so they have a lot of restrict or whatever in Italy, and then
16:20they come back to it, and then don't have any, and then they have one again, and that's
16:24what screws you up.
16:25Anyway.
16:26Yes, my dear?
16:27Cocaine.
16:30I think you probably know that in Indonesia, the price for drug trafficking or being found
16:37is essentially death.
16:39Death.
16:40There is a strange habit of doing something which is supposed to pick you up, supposed
16:45to cure you.
16:46What happened was somebody tried to commit suicide because they had an illness, so they
16:50laid themselves down in a particular place in order to try and end their own lives.
16:56What?
16:56Railway line.
16:57A railway line is the right answer, and they suddenly found that their illness went away,
17:02and this caused a wrath of Javanese people lying on railways.
17:07On the railways.
17:08How irritating.
17:09Yes, like so.
17:10Very irritating.
17:12I know.
17:14The joke is that the power comes from the overhead lines.
17:19There is no electricity in the rails at all.
17:22I don't know that.
17:22I've never seen anyone look more serious than the woman in the...
17:27So presumably the pick-me-up part depends on how fast the train's going.
17:31Whenever I see women like that, I always want to have a moustache and twirl it.
17:35Like a proper melodramatic woman.
17:38Yeah, just with a cape.
17:39And just...
17:39Curl your moustache.
17:41And we know the music that goes with it, don't we?
17:43Yeah.
17:45That's the same as the washing up.
17:46Yes, it is, yes.
17:49Multitasking.
17:51I could be washing up.
17:52I could be washing up whilst Tiger's wife to the door.
17:55Don't play the track.
17:56On the very liquid.
17:59Oh, tricky one.
18:00Cheese grater, tricky one.
18:03Cheese grater, they're tricky.
18:04Oh, they are.
18:05What?
18:06No, no, no.
18:07Not your fingers.
18:07I take them with a car wash and hold them out the windows.
18:12Let their brushes take the strain.
18:15Anyway, there's another thing they do in Java, which they do in other parts of the world.
18:19Dangerous sport involving trains.
18:22Chicken?
18:22Playing chicken?
18:23Not quite playing chicken.
18:25Running on the roof.
18:26Roof surfing, as it's known.
18:27There you can see.
18:29That's not so much running as having a picnic, really.
18:32That's true.
18:32There are so many of them.
18:34What they started to do was suspending, just at human head height, grapefruit sized concrete balls.
18:40So that people would just pack a bag like that.
18:42So, in order to stop them, they would also...
18:44Start with a grapefruit.
18:46And then say, you know...
18:47No, they're tough in Java, believe me.
18:49Oh, God.
18:50They are tough.
18:51They are, but not that bright.
18:53I'm having a senior moment.
18:54The famous volcano near Java that gave...
18:57Krakatoa.
18:58Krakatoa.
18:59Krakatoa.
18:59What's the name of the movie?
19:01Erm...
19:01Krakatoa.
19:03Krakatoa.
19:03East of Java.
19:04East of Java, yes.
19:05And oddly enough, it's actually west of Java.
19:08Oh, west of Java, yes.
19:09It is an odd thing, but it was one of the first big cinerama kind of movies called Krakatoa East
19:14of Java.
19:15It was just a bizarre lie, because it's Krakatoa West of Java.
19:18So some producer must have thought, I don't like the sound of west of Java.
19:21It's not going to sell.
19:22It's not going to sell.
19:23What can we do?
19:23We can take it north.
19:24North.
19:25South.
19:25East.
19:26East.
19:26It's going to be fantastic.
19:27So, within 10 years, tell me when this great, huge explosion.
19:331883.
19:341883?
19:37Erm...
19:3818...
19:3918...
19:4082.
19:43Right.
19:44Ladies and gentlemen, viewers at home, brace yourselves.
19:49Oh, I know.
19:51The explosion, the great, enormous, gigantic eruption of Krakatoa, was in 1883.
19:57Oh, thank you.
20:02I thought I dropped the next one after.
20:04May I just say, WTS.
20:10There was a documentary about it on the BBC and they re-enacted it.
20:14Well, well-remembered.
20:15I mean, it's not an easily, I mean, not particularly...
20:17I don't normally remember anything.
20:18Right.
20:18It was the loudest sound, apparently, that has ever existed, or at least as far as we know.
20:24Certainly within human reckoning.
20:25So, four atomic bombs that sort of re-enacted?
20:27Oh, oh, oh, no, no.
20:28It was 13 times greater than the Hiroshima bomb.
20:31Was it?
20:44It sounded like in Australia.
20:47It reverberated around the world, the ripples of it, seven times.
20:51It was an almost extraordinary...
20:53And it was winter for years, wasn't it?
20:54No, the winter for years was actually another.
20:57That was an 1815 volcano, and it was known as the winter of 1815.
21:02And you might know, as I can tell, those who don't know, that Bill Bailey is a great friend of
21:07Indonesia.
21:08Lives there, works there, plays Gamelan's, does the whole thing.
21:12So, you might...
21:12Before Gamelan...
21:13You might know this mountain.
21:15It might have been Tambora.
21:16It was Mount Tambora.
21:18Ah, bravo.
21:18There you go.
21:23It was called The Year Without a Summer in 1815, and in fact, about 100,000 people died of disease
21:30and famine.
21:31Whereas the explosion of Krakatoa killed 36,000 people because it was an eruption.
21:37And wasn't Krakatoa was like the first global event that sort of was the news of which spread around the
21:46world.
21:46We can see behind us Harper's Weekly.
21:48It was a media event for the first time.
21:50Yeah.
21:50The island and volcano of Krakatoa, Strait of Sunda, submerged during the late eruption.
21:55Yes.
21:55When eventually a human party of people arrived at the site, what was once a gigantic volcano that had just
22:03exploded, they found, and I'm including both vegetable and animal matter here, one living creature.
22:11And I will give you ten points if you can tell me the species.
22:14It was a...was it a spider that they found?
22:16Yes!
22:16It was a spider.
22:17What's going on with these friends?
22:21Well, really.
22:25Absolutely marvellous.
22:26Everybody's on cracking for me.
22:28Wow.
22:28You really are doing superbly well.
22:30What's the spider going?
22:31Oh, it's hot.
22:33Just walk by some teeth using two legs at a time.
22:38Like this?
22:39Oww!
22:40Oww!
22:41Oww!
22:43So he was doing the washing up?
22:45Yes, he was.
22:46He was the Jerusalem washing up spider.
22:49Anyway, moving on.
22:50So what was the most hurtful thing Rambo's boyfriend did to him?
22:58I've seen this film, it's a bootleg.
23:03Well, I'm being very naughty of course the picture is being very naughty when I say Rambo. I really mean
23:09Rambo, oh
23:11So when I say Rambo, who do I mean you mean of course him?
23:19Body French
23:20Arthur, Arthur Rambo, Arthur Rambo, who was? No, he was a great writer. He was a poet, he was a
23:27great poet, but he was very rare in as much as we're used to Beethoven and Mozart and other musicians
23:33being extraordinarily prodigious at an early age. It's a very rare for a poet. The greatest work that Rambo wrote,
23:40and he was a great poet, was between the ages of 17 and 21. He was extraordinarily beautiful. According to
23:48a school friend, he had eyes.
23:50Of pale blue, irradiated with dark blue, the loveliest eyes I've ever seen. He was a brilliant student. He won
23:56a regional poetry competition in spite of sleeping through the first three hours of the exam.
24:01At 16, he ran away from home with no money, and then between the ages of 17 and 21, just
24:08four years, he had this extraordinary flowering as a poet, but in doing so he shared his life with someone.
24:14He had a passionate tumultuous affair with dot, dot, dot.
24:18Katie Price.
24:21His dates were 1854 to 1891. So he died in 36, 37. And he was of a homosexual association. A
24:28child prodigy, he was gay. Oh, well, I don't know anything about those people. And in fact, there is a
24:32plaque, a blue plaque to him in London, where he shared a shortish time with his lover, who was also
24:38a poet, a famous poet.
24:40Oh, Gerard de Nerval.
24:42No, Gerard de Nerval. No, Gerard de Nerval was a fascinating man. He was. Very much enjoyed the way he
24:48said that.
24:48He was. Very much enjoyed the way he said that. I don't know. I don't know. Je suis le veuf.
24:50L'encontre. And he also famously had a pet lobster, Gerard de Nerval. He did indeed.
24:55He used to take for walks on a lead.
24:57Vite, vite. Monsieur.
25:01Monsieur, cliquey.
25:01Stay with it. Stay with it. Stay with it.
25:03Stay with it.
25:04All right.
25:05Stay with it.
25:08I don't want to be hungry.
25:10No.
25:11You don't want to be hungry.
25:13You want to eat something?
25:15Water.
25:16Please, water.
25:17No.
25:18No, not water.
25:20No, the artichoke of Gerard de Salaam.
25:23Oh, my God.
25:29I never thought I'd see the day when Bill Bailey force fed
25:34Jean de Nerval's lobster with Jerusalem artichokes.
25:39Anyway, let's just return to this other poet who was the lover of the young Verlaine.
25:44Oh, sorry.
25:45Verlaine.
25:55Now, there on the left is Verlaine, the one who looks slightly like John Malkovich.
25:59Oh.
26:00In the middle is the boy wonder.
26:02Rambo.
26:03Rambo.
26:04And on the right is, I can't remember his name.
26:06That's Robert De Niro, isn't it?
26:07It is Robert De Niro, yes.
26:09It is a bitch, isn't it, on the right?
26:11It's Robert De Niro.
26:12It's like a 19th century ad for a hairdresser.
26:15Yeah.
26:15All the different styles.
26:17That's the same person in that picture.
26:19It is.
26:19It wasn't the one before.
26:20It is.
26:20Geez.
26:21Earbrushing.
26:22I know.
26:23Thanks.
26:24But they went to live in Camden for a short while, and there is a blue plaque in Camden
26:28that says, Arthur Rambo and Paul Verlaine, poets and lovers lived here.
26:33It's the first blue plaque ever to celebrate.
26:35Okay.
26:36A couple is rather sweet.
26:37Anyway, that's the story of these two.
26:39It so happens that Paul Verlaine wrote a poem of extraordinary international importance,
26:43whose opening the lines are...
26:46I did this.
26:47I did this.
26:48I did this.
26:48I did this.
26:49I did this.
26:51I did this.
26:51No.
26:51I'll tell you about that.
26:52I'll tell you about that.
26:54Les sangles longues des violons de l'autom blesses mon coeur de monotone longueur.
26:59I didn't realize you wanted it.
27:01No, no, no.
27:01It seriously is internationally important, that poem.
27:05How could that be, that those first lines changed history?
27:10It's the international...
27:11I would do it in a voice that might give you a hint.
27:14Les sangles longues des violons de l'autom...
27:17Yes.
27:18It's the start of the Univision Song Contest.
27:20Well, as we know, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony begins that.
27:25No.
27:27It was a code.
27:28A code?
27:28A code to the resistance?
27:29Yes!
27:30Oh.
27:30It was a code to the resistance that the D-Day landings were beginning, and that the resistance
27:34should begin their sabotage.
27:36Oh.
27:36So that was the signal.
27:38So it was rather wonderful.
27:40So to French heart beat a little quicker when they hear those four words.
27:43How a camp person decided that was the code?
27:46It was a very famous poem.
27:48It would be like saying, shall I compare thee to a summer's day or whatever.
27:51Anyway, we thought you'd like to know about it, but why...
27:54Yes.
27:54Quite interesting.
27:55The question was, how did the lover hurt Rambo?
27:59Shat his fingers in the door.
28:00Yeah.
28:00The worst thing, he had a tumultuous, passionate, jealous rage, and he shot him in the wrist.
28:07In the wrist?
28:08Yes.
28:09Whilst he was masturbating.
28:10Oh!
28:12I'm going to move on, because...
28:13Yeah, move on.
28:14Yeah, it's been the best.
28:15Anyway.
28:17I am so out of my comfort zone.
28:22It's all good information that is well worth knowing.
28:25Arthur Rambo was shot in the arm by Paul Verlaine.
28:29Now, on to one of the delicacies of Jamaican cuisine.
28:32I think we all know how to make cock soup.
28:34But how would you make mannish water?
28:36Sorry, I don't know how to make cock soup.
28:39I don't know how to make cock soup.
28:40I don't know.
28:41Really?
28:41Cock-a-leaky.
28:42Chicken soup.
28:43Oh, right.
28:44Oh, okay.
28:44Cock-a-leaky.
28:45Cock-a-leaky.
28:47Chicken soup.
28:48Oh, I see.
28:48Is that what it is?
28:49Cock is not chicken.
28:50Yeah, it's a chicken.
28:53What can you have been saying?
28:54I don't know.
28:56I thought it was some terrible euphemism.
29:00What, a euphemism for pheasant?
29:02I don't...
29:02Yes.
29:03Yes, that's it.
29:04Pheasant.
29:05Well, cock soup is chicken soup.
29:07Cock-a-leaky.
29:07Cock-a-leaky soup.
29:08You've heard cock-a-leaky in Scotland.
29:09I've heard cock-a-leaky.
29:10Yes, you've had a leaky cock.
29:12No such and because.
29:14No, listen, now.
29:15Manish water.
29:18What's that?
29:19Frankie Howard was in the room.
29:22No.
29:23No.
29:24No.
29:24Don't.
29:24Stop.
29:25No.
29:26Don't.
29:27No.
29:27Don't.
29:30Big belly laughter of all the men with big bellies and we'll have little titters from
29:33on...
29:34No.
29:35All right.
29:37Don't you remember that one?
29:39Oh.
29:39Stop it.
29:40Manish water.
29:41Come on.
29:42We're in Jamaica.
29:42Manish water.
29:43Is it some kind of a soupage of some kind?
29:46Yes.
29:46It's a soupage.
29:47It's a soupage.
29:47Jamaican.
29:48Jamaican soupage.
29:49Right.
29:50So what is Jamaican food?
29:51So the most famous...
29:53It's mannish though.
29:54The point is they want to be male so they're going to eat male animals.
29:58Oh, okay.
29:58And what food is common is...
30:00Rice and peas.
30:01Yes.
30:02Rice and peas.
30:02Flying fish.
30:03Anything else?
30:04Goats.
30:05Goats.
30:06Goats.
30:07That's it.
30:07So all the male parts of a goat.
30:09All right.
30:09A male goat is the important thing.
30:11It makes manish water.
30:12It's also called goat's head soup.
30:13Does the phrase goat's head soup mean anything to you?
30:16Ah, yes.
30:17I'm not hungry is what it means.
30:18Yes.
30:20It's an album, isn't it?
30:22Goat's head soup by...
30:24What's his name?
30:25His name?
30:25Their name.
30:27The greatest rock and roll band in the world.
30:28They call themselves.
30:29The Clamers.
30:30The Clamers.
30:33And you can walk another hundred miles.
30:36I suppose I could have a Proclaimers.
30:38No, I'm very fond of the Proclaimers, but...
30:40The Rolling Stones.
30:41The Rolling Stones.
30:41The Rolling Stones.
30:42In 1973 produced an album called Goats Head Soup.
30:46Yes.
30:46And because they recorded the album on Jamaica.
30:49And do you know why they recorded the album on Jamaica?
30:51Because they were mad for the soup.
30:53Nope.
30:54Because it was about the only bloody country on earth where they weren't banned from.
30:58Right.
30:59It was around the time with a lot of the drugs and all the rest of it.
31:02And so they were allowed in Jamaica and they made an album called Goat's Head Soup.
31:05Which is another word for mannish water.
31:07And its ingredients, should you wish to make it, are goat's head, feet and intestines served with bananas and spices.
31:14It's supposed to be an aphrodisiac.
31:15It's supposed to man you up.
31:17That's the point.
31:17Hence mannish soup.
31:19There's also cow cod soup made of bull's penis, chilli peppers and bananas cooked in white rum.
31:25Which sounds rather nice.
31:25That is nice.
31:26I just hopped a little in the morning.
31:31Anyway, that's mannish water for you.
31:33But where are fathers often barely older than their sons?
31:39Barely?
31:40Barely?
31:40And when I say barely older, they can be only a day older than their son.
31:44In the insect world.
31:46It's got to be.
31:46No, I'm talking about humans.
31:48Humans?
31:49Yeah.
31:50Sounds impossible.
31:52Adoptions.
31:53Adoptions.
31:54Adoptions.
31:54And there is a country in which 98% of all adoptions are of adults, not of children.
32:01In which country?
32:03Japan.
32:03And it begins with J and it is Japan.
32:06And in Japan, it is very traditional to adopt an adult young man aged between 25 and 30 is roughly
32:14the average.
32:15So have you got to find one without parents presumably?
32:17No.
32:17Oddly enough, you actually adopt them from their own real parents.
32:21Because you're rich and successful.
32:23It's called stealing.
32:24And the reason...
32:25It sort of is.
32:26It's the transfer system.
32:28It's a transfer.
32:28It is basically an open market transfer system.
32:31Yeah, it's like the Premier League.
32:32Yeah.
32:32And it is for the same reason.
32:33It's business.
32:34If your own son is a bit of a clod, and I'm afraid it is a male business this.
32:38Yes.
32:38And you run a business and you want it to stay a family business, what you tend to do is
32:44adopt
32:44a young man who is very bright and you'll probably marry him to your daughter.
32:49There is a saying, you can't choose your son, but you can choose your son-in-law.
32:53You can adopt somebody, make them your son, and then marry them to your daughter?
32:56Yes, I know.
32:57I know it's weird, but that is the Japanese way.
33:00Wow.
33:00That would take off in Norfolk.
33:04So, for example, the current chairman of Suzuki, one of the largest corporations in
33:09Japan, is the fourth adopted son to have run the company.
33:12So he is a Suzuki, that's to say his father was someone who was adopted by someone who was
33:17adopted by a Suzuki.
33:20And they're not blood related, but they've become an adopted child.
33:24But there you are, so only 2% of adoptees in Japan are infants.
33:29Right.
33:30Only two, the rest, 98% are males.
33:33All males.
33:34All males.
33:35And they're for that reason, to continue the line.
33:38That's ongoing.
33:39It's ongoing to this day, yes, absolutely.
33:41Now, here are two towns behind me.
33:43They both begin with Jay.
33:44Why are they blue?
33:46Oh, now I know this.
33:47Yes.
33:47Well, I know, well, one of them.
33:49Go on then.
33:50I've got a Smurf collection.
33:51I've had it many years.
33:53When I was younger, I used to collect Smurfs.
33:56It was my hobby.
33:57I've got a Smurf village I created.
33:59When I was younger, it's still there.
34:01Reminds me of the bad times.
34:02And the good times.
34:03Right.
34:04Now, and if this is wrong, I'm going to look like a total twat.
34:07Yeah.
34:08The thing is, you're going to look like a twat, even if you're right.
34:12Yeah.
34:15Because knowing this is so deeply sad.
34:18Yeah.
34:18So I love Smurfs, and everything about Smurfs, and Smurfette, and everything else.
34:23When they did the premiere of the Smurf film.
34:26Yes.
34:26They painted a town somewhere, I think it was at Spain, near Marbury, or something like that,
34:32blue for the premiere of the film.
34:34And then afterwards, they said, we'll paint it back.
34:36And the residents had had such a lot of tourism, and they dubbed the mayor Papa Smurf,
34:41which he was delighted about.
34:44But they were having a referendum to see if they wanted to keep their town blue,
34:48because they thought it was quite cool.
34:49And I think, because that Smurf, because it was Smurf town, which sounds amazing,
34:53because I love the Smurfs.
34:54You are 100% correct!
34:57Come on!
34:57Oh, wow!
35:00The only thing...
35:02The only thing that would add 20 points was if you knew the name.
35:0720 points?
35:08Oh!
35:09The only...
35:12You will not destroy the set.
35:15Oh!
35:16There's some group in it.
35:18Just tell me the name of the town.
35:20Was it Juarez?
35:21No, that's in Mexico.
35:22We're talking about Spain.
35:23Er...
35:24Chochoba.
35:25Chochoba.
35:26Chrez.
35:28Chamin.
35:29Chon.
35:30It begins with ch.
35:32I'll give you that.
35:33Chochoba.
35:35Chochoba.
35:36Chochoba.
35:37Chochoba.
35:37Chochoba.
35:37Chochoba.
35:38Chochoba.
35:38Chochoba.
35:39No, it's called...
35:41Chuzca.
35:42Chuzca.
35:43Chuzca.
35:46Chuzca.
35:47Chuzca.
35:50Chochoba.
35:53Chochoba.
35:54Chochoba.
35:55Chochoba.
35:56Chochoba.
35:56Chochoba.
35:57Chochoba.
35:57Chochoba.
35:58Chochoba.
36:00Chochoba.
36:01Chochoba.
36:03Chochoba.
36:04Chochoba.
36:04Chochoba.
36:05Chochoba.
36:05Chochoba.
36:06Chochoba.
36:07Chochoba.
36:11Chochoba.
36:14Chochoba.
36:15Chochoba.
36:16Chochoba.
36:17Chochoba.
36:18indigo being the color of the brahmin the brahmin it's a brahmin it was to distinguish their houses
36:23and then everybody else thought it was a good idea there's also a pink city can you name a pink
36:28city
36:37it was building pink stone and it was indeed painted pink for a very particular reason i
36:42wonder if you can yes prince albert edward who later became edward the seventh he was
36:47coming to visit and they thought he visited in the 1870s painted pink in his honor anyway
36:53there we go jodhpur and huthkar are both painted blue one by tradition the other for a smurfs film
37:00now what would you what would you keep in a 14 ton jar with no lid biscuits yeah biscuits
37:07a lot of biscuits 14 ton jars i have difficulty imagining what that would be how big that is
37:15as fast 14 ton is heavy but i mean it's only um it's a big thing it's only six or
37:20seven lorries
37:21i mean you want six lorries well four lorries depends how big the lorry is yes
37:25i mean you know you get a two ton truck so if you're talking about 14 one it's not a
37:32jam jar
37:33no it's a jar tadpoles they're known as a jar to archaeologists if that's any use
37:38yes i did archaeology at university and there's quite a lot of things that we don't know what
37:43they're for yes and i think this is one of those i think might you be able to place it
37:47on i think
37:47it's in laos you are damn well spot on i'm so impressed with you lot today although you've
37:53been occasionally just a little bit facetious you've also come up with some stonkingly correct
37:59chances these are what they now think is nobody knows what they were for and then marco polo
38:04described to them and we now think they're for making goat's head soup
38:08you're absolutely right though they're on the plains of laos and they're made of granite and
38:13they are human made no one knows how they made them granite is not an easy stone to work with
38:19i mean you make a nice kitchen surface for it oh yes slicing slicing and slicing writing writing
38:28exactly buying kids on ebay anyway there are 90 sites each containing up to 400 of these jars
38:36and as you rightly say we don't really know for it therefore the assumption is dead bodies were
38:41put in there allowed to decompose were then taken out and cremated and it was some something to do
38:47with the journey of the dead yeah but you always have to allow for the soul of even uh very
38:51early
38:51people and maybe it's it's one of those things where they thought if i make a very big container the
38:56gods will fill it for me with yes do you know what i mean we must always allow for the
38:59yes for the
39:00dream element exactly i'm absolutely right there is often a functional fallacy there is always an
39:04assumption that things are done for a very specific practical reason which isn't always true the soul
39:08is a well it's like the cargo cults in papua new guinea who built whole runways the the the missionaries
39:14came and they had all this stuff and the the indigenous people say what is it they said it's cargo
39:17they
39:18said where does it come from it comes from sydney meaning australia and they developed a god called
39:22sydney um and they made whole runways in the jungle uh waiting for sydney to bring them cargo
39:27uh so you might find a runway and think what landed here the answer is nothing landed here except
39:32except your dashed dreams yeah and so perhaps perhaps that's the case with i think that's beautifully
39:38put and the fact is the most honest archaeologists will say they don't know a how they were made
39:41or b exactly what they were for your guess is as good as mine and yours is seems to me
39:46to be a very
39:47rational and realistic one they also may be a corresponding set of stolen lids
39:58anyway do you know the capital of alaska yes you just said it exactly thank you very good
40:04juno is the capital of alaska j-u-n-e-a-u no but that's something unique about it it
40:11rains all
40:11bloody time i know that well it's it's not accessible by road you can only get there by air
40:17or water there is no road to juno sarah palin can get there by walking on the water and can
40:24you tell
40:25me the biggest joke ever to come out of alaska
40:40it was so obvious oh i would have refudiated we would have refudiated
40:49anyway the point is there is actually a famous practical joke an april fool's joke that came
40:54out of alaska it was it took a lot of preparation and was rather extraordinary we'll show you a
40:58photograph that might give you a hint i mean it's not really going to be easy but what's in the
41:02background there this is a volcano based practice yes yes and it's one that that same i read about it
41:09and very much impressed me because if you do a practical joke which is uh you know cling film over
41:14the toilet something simple the person who did this practically it's a good one it doesn't work for
41:23women necessarily because we tend to notice when we sit down that there's some but for men i tell you
41:28it's a hoot there was a volcano um and a gentleman i can't remember his name i apologize decided to
41:36try and
41:37and make it seem as if it was erupting so took loads of tires you and set fire to it
41:43and then everyone
41:43came out of the houses and went the volcanoes are up because absolutely right he waited three years
41:50till there was a clear april the first he took kerosene and smoke bombs and tires and he dropped
41:56them down the crater and set fire to it but in 50-foot letters he did say april fool and
42:03he warned the
42:04federal authority he called them up but he forgot to call the coast guard who did panic a bit but
42:09it
42:09was fortunately all taken in the right spirit and his name is porky bicar porky porky that was his
42:16nickname he was american so it's called porky porky bicar and that is aside from sarah payland the greatest
42:22joke ever to come out of a mascot it is a good one i have to say i am very
42:26impressed again with your
42:27knowledge and as it happens that's the end of tonight's question so let's see how our journey has
42:32panned out what is astonishing her first ever appearance on plus 15 a clear winner susan kalman
42:44and only four inches behind on 11 sandy toxford
42:56impressively the digitally endowed still in the black plus four bill bailey
43:07well perhaps the best we can say is bless him he did try minus 11 alan davis
43:20that's all from sandy susan bill alan and me thank you good night and be wonderful to each other bye
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