- 46 minutes ago
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00:02What are you watching?
00:04You.
00:05Oh.
00:07Hey, hey, you know what?
00:09How about tomorrow?
00:10How about we start today and go till tomorrow?
00:15Oh, we'd have to start at 11.59 then.
00:20No, honey, you know what?
00:21You know what?
00:21Really, definitely tomorrow, okay?
00:24The kids will be on their play date.
00:25We'll be all alone.
00:28Interesting.
00:32During the daytime, you're saying?
00:36I am.
00:38Well, you sound very sincere,
00:40so I guess you'll have no trouble signing this.
00:47I agree to have daytime sex with Ray Barone
00:52tomorrow, May 23rd of this year.
01:06Can I go to sleep now?
01:08Yes, you may.
01:12But in case you have any ideas of ripping this up in the middle of the night,
01:25I win either way.
01:33Hey.
01:34Hey, Frank.
01:34How are you?
01:35Here.
01:37What's this?
01:38I don't know.
01:39Some porcelain thing you gave us for our 30th anniversary
01:42or some other terrible occasion.
01:48Why are you giving it back to me?
01:50Marie says she doesn't like it and she never did.
01:54So she sent you over here with this?
01:57That's right.
01:59I'm Marie's stinking messenger service
02:00since you two stopped talking to each other.
02:02Okay, Frank.
02:03All right.
02:03Okay.
02:04You know who she does talk to?
02:06Me.
02:07Non-stop.
02:08So do me a favor.
02:10Trevor, if you're upset, please shoot the messenger.
02:28Hello.
02:31Where?
02:34Just dropped the kids off at their play date
02:37and now it's time for mine.
02:39Okay.
02:39Not now, Ray.
02:40Oh, I beg to differ.
02:42Ray!
02:45I had a feeling you might change your mind
02:46and that's why, if you remember,
02:49I had you sign a certain document.
02:52Do you know what just happened?
02:54I must tell you, I do not care.
03:01Your signature?
03:02What is wrong with you?
03:04You can't tell I'm upset?
03:06I mean, after how many years?
03:07You can't tell I'm not in the mood right now?
03:10All right, now I'm starting to get it.
03:14I'm sorry, Ray.
03:15I know we had a deal
03:17and it's just that this thing with your mother,
03:21she just sent over...
03:24You know, I just don't feel like it right now.
03:29All right.
03:31All right, I'm sorry.
03:34I didn't know you just had a thing.
03:39You know I'm not good at reading your signals.
03:44Yeah.
03:48Was I always this bad?
03:50Yeah.
03:55No, you picked the movie, Deb.
03:56I always like what you pick.
03:58Oh, well, that one.
04:00I only fell asleep in that one
04:01because it was so...
04:04warm and cozy sitting next to you.
04:06Raven, your friends are here.
04:08Hey, Ray.
04:09You ready to go?
04:09Hey, guys, I'm on the phone.
04:10All right, just give me a second.
04:11No problem.
04:12All right.
04:15All right, Deb.
04:16I better go.
04:17Oh, it's Deborah.
04:18Mom.
04:18Hello, Deborah.
04:20Hi.
04:20How are you?
04:22Oh, good.
04:23No, I'm fine.
04:24Yeah.
04:24I'm just doing a load of Raymond's dirty underwear.
04:27Mom!
04:29Yes, ma'am.
04:30Where did you buy that blouse?
04:31Do you remember?
04:32Is your mother going to wash these
04:33or send them to the lab?
04:37Oh, Jez.
04:38Oh, thanks, darling.
04:40Here's your boyfriend.
04:42Hey, sorry about that.
04:45Oh, yeah, yeah, she is great.
04:47Yeah.
04:49Okay, listen, I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?
04:52All right.
04:53Bye.
04:55All right, guys, come on.
04:57I'm coming.
04:57You know, we got a poker game tomorrow night.
04:59Oh, yeah.
05:00Oh, you heard me.
05:01I can't go.
05:02Deborah wants to rent a movie.
05:03And, oh, where do I buy candles?
05:05She wants a candle for, like, dinner.
05:08Candlelight dinner and a movie?
05:10Forget the card game.
05:11Our little Raymond's having sex.
05:15No.
05:16No, no.
05:17You guys, you know we haven't, you know.
05:20She doesn't want to rush the physical part
05:23and, you know, whatever.
05:24Hey, she wants a candle.
05:25It's either sex or your smell.
05:28All right, I gotta get to work.
05:29Which one of you bozos park behind you?
05:32Hey, Robert, listen.
05:33We're taking odds.
05:34You think Deborah's gonna have sex with Ray tomorrow night?
05:36Hmm, I don't know.
05:38Has the president declared Ray the last man on Earth?
05:43That doesn't even make sense, all right?
05:45If the president was around to declare it,
05:47then how am I the last man, stupid?
05:49Well, president or no president,
05:51there's no way you're ever having sex with that Deborah.
05:55Look, Ray, it's simple.
05:56When you get over there tomorrow, look for signs.
05:58See if she shaves her legs and you're in.
06:01No, no, no, no, no.
06:01You know what you do?
06:02Ask her if she likes Madonna.
06:05Now, I always ask that, because if she does,
06:07that means she's got a little bit of a wild side.
06:09Oh, sorry.
06:11What would you do with the wild side?
06:12You don't even know what you're talking about.
06:13Hey, I'm trying to do something, man.
06:15I don't have to do anything.
06:16Check her eggs, man.
06:17Check her eggs.
06:21What?
06:21You check her refrigerator to see if she has enough eggs
06:25to make both of you breakfast in the morning.
06:31Oh, really?
06:32Yeah, you know, Mom has two dozen eggs in the fridge right now.
06:35Oh, you got it.
06:37Why do you do that?
06:38I'm just saying.
06:41I'm just saying.
06:43If Deborah's ready, she'll let me know.
06:45Yeah, why don't you sit by the mailbox and wait for that letter?
06:49Yeah.
06:50We'll swing by once a year to cut your beard.
07:03Hey.
07:04Hi.
07:09What is that, cologne?
07:11Uh, no.
07:12That's, uh, that's pretty much high smell.
07:17Come on in.
07:19So, listen, I just ordered the Chinese food,
07:21and it's gonna be a while,
07:22so do you wanna watch the movie now?
07:23All right, yeah.
07:24I got some wine.
07:25Let me put it in the refrigerator.
07:26Okay.
07:28Listen, I rent it out of Africa.
07:30I hope you don't mind.
07:31It's kind of a girly film.
07:33That's right.
07:34I'm kind of a girly guy.
07:37Yeah.
07:41Oh.
07:42What?
07:43Uh, no, it's nothing.
07:44I just noticed that, uh, you're almost out of eggs.
07:52I use that egg substitute.
07:53Have you ever tried it?
07:54It's really great.
07:55I just bought three cartons.
07:57Oh, yeah.
07:58Oh, yeah.
07:59Yeah, I'd like to try that.
08:01Yeah.
08:05Hey, uh, I got a candle.
08:08Why don't we light it?
08:09Okay.
08:10Yeah.
08:11It's called Morning Mist,
08:12but the lady said you could light it at night.
08:14Mm.
08:15Mm.
08:26Oh, here we are.
08:27Oh, smooth.
08:36Who is that, Mel Streep?
08:38Uh-huh.
08:40She reminds me of Madonna.
08:46Really?
08:46I don't see that.
08:49You, uh, you like Madonna?
08:53Yeah, she's okay.
09:03Oh, well, there's the Chinese food.
09:06Damn it.
09:09Are you coming back?
09:11I think so.
09:15Hello.
09:16Mom!
09:22Hi, Marie.
09:24What are you doing here?
09:25Hello, Raymond.
09:26I was baking lasagna,
09:28and I had so much extra,
09:29I thought I'd bring it over to you, too.
09:32Oh, all the way from Long Island.
09:36That's so nice of you.
09:38Yeah, Ma, we got Chinese food coming.
09:40Oh, that's not food.
09:44Oh, no, Marie, I really love your lasagna.
09:47You know, I don't cook a lot,
09:48but you're really starting to inspire me.
09:50I bet you're a natural.
09:54Oh, you know, that's the food, Ma,
09:56so you probably should ski down.
09:58Let's eat.
10:00Max, what are you doing?
10:01I found the broken meter we've got all night.
10:05Where's the lasagna?
10:07You know what?
10:08I wasn't really expecting all this company.
10:10She's right.
10:10Get out.
10:12No, no, no, right?
10:13But I think I have a folding table in the back,
10:15so I'll just get it.
10:16Great.
10:16I'll put on the Yankees.
10:18Now, listen, you guys,
10:20you both got to go home, okay?
10:21Debra and I were here.
10:23We're trying to watch a movie.
10:25You're not fooling anyone, young man.
10:27What?
10:29You don't think I know
10:30what's going to take place here tonight?
10:32You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
10:43I know exactly what you and Debra
10:45are planning for tonight, Raymond.
10:47What?
10:47How do you know anything?
10:50Believe me, I would rather not know.
10:52But when you talk in your room,
10:54it carries through the whole house.
10:58Especially when your mother stands on the dresser
11:00so she can listen through the vent.
11:04Oh, my God, Bob!
11:07You two have to leave, okay?
11:08Debra and I would like to be alone.
11:15Oh, hello, Raymond.
11:18Hello, Raymond.
11:22Oh, Father Hubby, come in.
11:24Thanks for the ride, Robert.
11:25I've been looking forward to this lasagna all day.
11:30Hi.
11:31Oh, Debra, this is our family priest, Father Hubby.
11:35And if it's all right with you,
11:37he's going to join us for dinner.
11:39Hello.
11:40Oh, why don't we all sit down
11:42and get to know one another?
11:43Come on, sweetie.
11:44Okay.
11:45Yes, come on, sweetie.
11:47Oh, it's going to be fun.
11:49Oh, Father, please sit.
11:51Please, Father.
12:00Father Hubby,
12:01did you know that Debra and Raymond
12:03have been dating for a few months now?
12:06Ma, you know something?
12:06Maybe this is a bad time
12:07because I don't think we have enough lasagna here.
12:10Hey, Ray's right.
12:10We may be in trouble here
12:12because with all due respect, Father,
12:15I saw what you did to that cheesecake
12:16at the church bake sale.
12:26Father Hubby,
12:27I'd like your opinion on the commandments.
12:30Do you have to follow all
12:31or can you just pick and choose?
12:38Ray?
12:40What's the matter?
12:41I'll tell you what's the matter.
12:42My mother is trying to prevent you and me
12:44from having Chinese food.
12:51Oh, you got Chinese coming.
12:54We're good, Father.
12:57Oh, Frank,
12:57would you stop thinking about food for a second?
12:59Your son's moral health is in jeopardy.
13:02What?
13:03Oh, for crying out loud, Marie.
13:04Why don't you just fit her for a chastity belt
13:06and be done with it?
13:12Oh, my God.
13:15Is that why you're all here?
13:18Because of sex?
13:22I was only told about the lasagna.
13:39I don't understand.
13:41Well, if I may, Deborah,
13:43the worst thing for a relationship
13:45is to give in to one's desires.
13:48Now, I know in this case it may be difficult
13:50because Rabin is such a cute boy.
13:52Oh, my God.
13:58But when I heard him talking to his friends
14:01about buying candles
14:02and counting your eggs,
14:05I knew it was time to call Father Hubley.
14:08What?
14:09Wait a minute.
14:10Is there even a lasagna here?
14:19Well,
14:20I don't know what you've heard, Marie,
14:22but no one is coming near my eggs.
14:26Tough break, Raymond.
14:31Believe me, everybody,
14:32we're not having sex.
14:37Well, then I guess we can eat.
14:40Marie,
14:41if I may,
14:43I'd be happy to discuss all these matters,
14:46but I don't think this is the time or the place.
14:49Yes, and I must say
14:50that I am appalled
14:51to turn this evening this day.
14:54I think we should all go.
14:56Well, we haven't eaten yet.
14:57When I say we,
14:58I'm including the lasagna.
15:01Lovely meeting you, Deborah.
15:03And let me tell you,
15:04as someone who has known
15:05the Barone family a long time,
15:08this actually went quite well.
15:12We'll meet, Matt.
15:13Oh, yeah.
15:14Good, let's go.
15:21Enjoy the movie.
15:23And, Raymond,
15:24that cologne smells better on you
15:26than it does on your father.
15:32You gotta believe me,
15:33I didn't tell my friends anything.
15:34All right, hold on.
15:35I'll be right back.
15:36Wait, Marie.
15:38Marie.
15:44If you felt so strongly about this,
15:47why didn't you just come talk to me?
15:49I mean,
15:50I feel like there's something else going on.
15:53Do you not like me or something?
15:55Oh, no.
15:57It's not that at all.
16:00Oh, Deborah.
16:03I see the way Raymond
16:05acts around you
16:07and how he looks at you
16:09and how he talks about you to everybody.
16:14He has never been this way
16:16with anyone.
16:20So I just thought
16:21that you two should wait
16:23until after you're...
16:26you know.
16:33that's why I came over.
16:36Oh.
16:37Well,
16:39yeah,
16:39that's okay, Marie.
16:42I just hope
16:43that we can always talk like this.
16:47You know,
16:48instead of
16:49bringing over lasagna
16:51and a priest.
16:54of course.
16:55Of course.
16:55I love talking to you.
17:00And, Deborah,
17:02I just want you to know
17:03it's really not like me
17:05to meddle in my son's life.
17:18Listen,
17:18let me explain.
17:19You remember
17:20Bernie and Johnny?
17:21Remember how stupid they are?
17:22They came over.
17:23They were
17:24grabbing my underwear.
17:25They were telling me,
17:26check her eggs,
17:26check her eggs.
17:32Huh?
17:33Come with me.
17:34Wait, but...
17:35what?
17:36I thought you said
17:37that we weren't...
17:38What can I say?
17:39Your mother was right.
17:41You're a very cute boy.
17:53So you ended up
17:55sleeping with me
17:56that night
17:56because of
17:57what my mother said?
17:59I guess so.
18:03Back to therapy.
18:07It ended up being
18:08a pretty good night
18:09though,
18:09didn't it?
18:10Great night?
18:11Mm-hmm.
18:12You know what it
18:12puts me in the mood for?
18:14Chinese food?
18:17Come on,
18:18let's go.
18:20You know,
18:21wait.
18:21What?
18:22Wait, what?
18:22I just...
18:24I want to do
18:25something first.
18:26You go ahead
18:27upstairs.
18:28Well,
18:28hurry though,
18:29you know,
18:29you got to be here
18:30for some of it.
18:34Hey, Frank,
18:36use your napkin
18:37and sit up.
18:41Hi, Frank.
18:42Hi, Robert.
18:43Hi.
18:44Hi, Marie.
18:49Are they talking?
18:50Please, God.
18:55Marie.
18:57Do you remember
18:58that night
18:59that you came over
19:00to my apartment
19:01and tried to stop
19:02Ray and me from...
19:04Do you remember
19:05that night?
19:06Do you remember
19:07in the hallway
19:09how we talked
19:10things out?
19:11How that felt?
19:14Look at us now.
19:16I mean,
19:17what are we doing?
19:17This whole thing
19:18has been so silly.
19:29Why would you say
19:31tried to stop you?
19:34What?
19:36You said
19:37we tried to stop you
19:38and Raymond.
19:39Why would you say
19:41tried?
19:44Well,
19:45I mean...
19:47Wait a minute.
19:48Did you have relations
19:50with Raymond that night?
19:53Marie,
19:54that is not the point.
19:56You lied to me
19:58in front of a priest.
20:01A warrior.
20:05Marie,
20:06what you told me
20:07in that hallway
20:08made me realize
20:09how Ray really felt.
20:11So now you're blaming me
20:13for your premarital sex?
20:19Listen,
20:20I came over here
20:21to...
20:21to...
20:22to try...
20:25Marie,
20:26are you kidding?
20:27There's a little sauce
20:29left.
20:29Would you like some?
20:30No sauce.
20:31Talk.
20:32For God's sake,
20:34talk to her.
20:35Would you like
20:35some raw food?
20:37You take that sauce
20:38and I'll kill you.
20:41No one's having
20:42your sauce
20:43until you talk to her.
20:59Well,
21:00Marie,
21:01I don't know
21:01what I was thinking
21:03coming over here
21:04because this past month
21:05of you not talking to me
21:07has been the best month
21:08of my life.
21:20Robert,
21:21shoot my ears off.
21:36Oh,
21:37Mrs. Barone!
21:40The doctor
21:41will see you now.
21:44I will never
21:45talk to that woman again.
21:47I'm going for a drive.
21:53No,
21:54we have a contract.
21:57I'll see you in court.
21:59I'll see you in court.
22:02I'll see you in court.
22:05I'll see you in court.
22:06I'll see you in court.
22:06I'll see you in court.
22:07I'll see you in court.
22:11I'll see you in court.
22:13I'll see you in court.
22:15I'll see you in court.
22:16I'll see you in court.
22:17I'll see you in court.
22:18I'll see you in court.
22:19I'll see you in court.
22:22I'll see you in court.
22:26I'll see you in court.
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