- 15 hours ago
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FunTranscript
00:03Come on, guys. No, no, no. Baths are fun. You love baths. There's water. You get to be naked.
00:11Jimmy, Jimmy. No, Allie. Listen, the only reason I let you get older is so you could help me.
00:19Awful cup. Awful cup. Don't be drunk.
00:21I told you I might be a little crazy. I did.
00:26Hi, Marie. I just brought Hilda and Arnie over because I wanted them to see the kids do their knock
00:34-knock joke.
00:34We hear it's a hoot. Okay, well, you know, now's not the best time. I'm trying to get them up.
00:39Knock-knock. Marie. No, no, no. Let Michael say knock-knock.
00:44No, no, no. No knock-knock jokes right now. We're going upstairs.
00:48Lauren, Jeffrey, say Lauren. Marie, please stop. We are not telling knock-knock jokes right now.
00:54We are going upstairs for our baths, all right? Thank you.
00:57Let's go.
01:00Come on.
01:14Come on.
01:19Well.
01:20Well.
01:27Hello, Raymond, dear. I just dropped by to pick up my big spoon. Are you finished with it?
01:34Me?
01:35I was the one that borrowed it. Remember, Marie?
01:38Well, if you're not done with it, Raymond, I could come back.
01:44Mom, what's going on?
01:45Nothing. I'm making sauce, and I just wanted my big spoon.
01:50Yeah. So, ask Deborah.
01:56Um, you know, I'm finished with it, Marie. So...
02:02Here.
02:17Thank you, Raymond.
02:19Bye-bye.
02:20Bye-bye.
02:25What...
02:27What's going on?
02:28How should I know?
02:30You two have a little rowdy-dow?
02:34No.
02:36The last time I saw her was yesterday, when she just dropped by with Hilda and Artie, and I was
02:40trying to get the kids upstairs.
02:41Yeah.
02:43What?
02:44She wanted to hear the twins tell their knock-knock joke, and I told her it was a bad time,
02:48and we went upstairs.
02:49Ha! Did they do the Goliath one?
02:51No, I...
02:52Because that's a good one. Knock-knock.
02:54Say, who's there?
02:55What is with your family?
02:58Come on.
03:00Say, who's there?
03:01Who's there?
03:02Goliath.
03:03Goliath who?
03:03Goliath down. You look-a-tired.
03:15You're wonderful.
03:18I mean, that couldn't be why she's mad at me. Because I told her it was a bad time? She
03:23couldn't be mad about that, could she?
03:26I think it's cute how you're still a little naive.
03:30Oh, my God. I mean, God, she's a lunatic.
03:33So why didn't you just let her hear the joke? It only takes, like, two seconds. Here, let's do Goliath
03:37again. Knock-knock.
03:37No, no, no, no, no. That is not the point.
03:40Okay?
03:40Things have to screech to a halt because Marie's gonna waltz over here with her friends to put on the
03:45grandma show?
03:49Yeah. You know what? You should go over and apologize.
03:54What? Are you kidding? You're taking her side?
03:58I'm not taking any side. It's too small to have sides.
04:03No, I let so much go with her, Ray. I mean, I'm always letting things roll off my back. The
04:08woman ruins my life, and I'm supposed to pretend everything is fine and dandy.
04:12But your life isn't ruined. Everything is fine and dandy.
04:15I am not apologizing for this. Your mother is acting like a child giving me the silent treatment. Do you
04:21realize how passive-aggressive that is?
04:22But, but... No, no. She doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't have to. That's fine and dandy.
04:28So, oh, what are you? You're just gonna pout and go, she started it. I think that's a little passive
04:32-aggressive.
04:33Oh, yeah?
04:33Which I still prefer to aggressive-aggressive.
04:39So, how are things?
04:42Yeah, fine.
04:43That's nice. And how's Debra?
04:47Oh, okay. I see. You lured me over with cake so you could pump me for information about Debra.
04:53And feed you cake?
04:55Feed me cake.
04:58I mean, I was just wondering if Debra picked up on my little signal yesterday.
05:02What, when you gave her the silent treatment?
05:05Oh, good. You noticed it, too.
05:08I was worried that I... Maybe it was too subtle.
05:12Yeah, that's your problem. Too subtle.
05:20Eat your cake.
05:32How did Debra react?
05:35I don't know, ma. I don't want to...
05:36Just stay out of it, Ray.
05:37I am, Dad.
05:38Frank, you don't even know what we're talking about.
05:41That's right. Because I stay out of it.
05:44The fact is that your wife happened to be rude.
05:48She humiliated me.
05:50And what's worse, it was in front of my dear friend, Hilda and Artie.
05:53You don't like Hilda and Artie.
05:55That's not the point.
05:57I mean, Hilda had just been telling me about how close she is with her daughter-in-law.
06:01And that for Mother's Day this weekend, they were going to a spa to have massages together
06:07with steam baths and body lotions.
06:10Hey, I'm eating here.
06:19And my own daughter-in-law can't tolerate me in her house for a knock-knock joke.
06:24I find that cruel.
06:26Look, my Debra's sorry, okay?
06:29She is?
06:31Really?
06:35Yeah.
06:37Yes.
06:38I mean, she just...
06:39She has a hard time saying it.
06:40That's all.
06:40And aren't you the mature one?
06:44That's true.
06:46I've always been mature.
06:48She's as mature as the hills.
06:56All I'm saying is, what if you were the one who went over and apologized?
07:01Let me finish.
07:04What if you apologized because you're the mature, reasonable, responsible,
07:10beautiful one?
07:14You're suggesting I apologize?
07:16Me?
07:17Yes.
07:19Because you're beautiful.
07:25Shame on you, Raymond.
07:33Guess which word you lost me on.
07:46Hey, is that last cookie mine or yours?
07:49I don't know.
07:50You can have it.
07:51Because I think it's mine.
07:54Okay.
07:55Fine.
07:56Go ahead.
07:57No, no, not go ahead.
07:58Like, you're giving it to me because I think it really is mine.
08:02You know what?
08:03Rickman.
08:07I just can't get it.
08:09Give me that cookie.
08:12Come on, Deborah.
08:13Come on, Deborah.
08:31Deborah, may I talk to you?
08:34Sure, Murray.
08:36What happened the other day has really weighed on me.
08:40And I did some serious thinking.
08:43So, Deborah, I was wrong.
08:47Please forgive me.
08:49Oh, wow.
08:51Marie, thank you.
08:52Oh, you don't have to apologize.
08:53I'm fine, really.
08:55No, no, no, Deborah.
08:56I want to.
08:57First of all, I'm sorry I came over when I did.
09:00I should know by now, by late afternoon, you've lost complete control of the case.
09:10And then I brought company, which must have embarrassed you, since obviously you hadn't
09:15tidied up.
09:18So, I understand why you felt the need to snap at me some way.
09:25For all that, I'm sorry.
09:29All right?
09:31All right?
09:45So, she's talking to you again.
09:50Well, she can do whatever she wants, because I'm done talking to her.
10:04This is what I get for trying to be nice.
10:16Come on, guys.
10:17Please.
10:17You're supposed to be helping me make a nice Mommy's Day brunch to make Mommy nice again,
10:22all right?
10:22So, come on, huh?
10:24Please.
10:25Let's not bust Daddy's hump.
10:27I've been getting enough of that.
10:28Hey, Mommy is here.
10:30Hey, happy Mother's Day.
10:31Hi, Mommy.
10:32You're supposed to be upstairs waiting for breakfast in bed.
10:34What are you doing down here?
10:35I smell something burning.
10:37Yes.
10:38It's all under control, okay?
10:40So, go back upstairs and get psyched for toast.
10:44Right.
10:45I've been up there for two hours.
10:46Can we just go out to breakfast or lunch?
10:51Well, listen, if some people were talking to other people, we could be at other people's
10:56house right now, having our annual, very nice, not cranky, Mother's Day brunch.
11:03I thought one of the requirements for a happy Mother's Day was a happy mother.
11:09Listen, all in one...
11:10Toast is here.
11:11Hey, guys, who wants to get Mommy breakfast in bed?
11:13I do.
11:14I do.
11:15Okay, here.
11:16Here you go.
11:16Come on.
11:17Come on.
11:17Here you go.
11:18Take care.
11:25Okay, let's go.
11:26Come on.
11:27Everybody upstairs.
11:28Good body.
11:30Great.
11:31Oh, aren't they adorable?
11:32Look at them.
11:34Let's go, Mommy.
11:37Enjoy your first course.
11:59Hey, what are you doing?
12:00Why aren't you with Mom?
12:01Evidently, it's simply not Mother's Day without Raymond.
12:14She's been a miserable wretch all week long.
12:17I mean, on top of the usual.
12:20How's it going over here?
12:21Yeah, well, it's not good.
12:22She's in a bad mood, too.
12:23I'm just gonna run these over and drop them off for Mom.
12:26Drop these off.
12:27You'll never get out of there.
12:29She's got your baby book out, and she's humming lullabies.
12:35She sent us over to get you.
12:37What she doesn't know is we're never going back.
12:43All right, Logan, keep it down.
12:45She can sense happiness.
12:53I don't like them not talking to each other.
12:55It makes me nervous.
12:58It's like in Korea.
13:01It was most scary when it was quiet.
13:05I hate seeing them like this.
13:06I can't take it anymore.
13:08You know what?
13:09The three of us should go to Florida.
13:17Just what every mother wants to do on Mother's Day.
13:19Wash the butter out of her sheets.
13:29What are you doing, Mom?
13:30Hello.
13:32I was just flipping through your baby books.
13:38Recalling the agony of your delivery.
13:45And I was wondering if I was going to get a visit from you on Mother's Day.
13:51Yeah, Mom, I'm taking care of a few things here, that's all.
13:55Well, of course.
13:56By all means, take your time.
13:58You obviously have other priorities on Mother's Day.
14:04Here you go, Mom.
14:05These are for you.
14:07Hey, what are you talking about?
14:08What are you talking about?
14:09Happy Mother's Day.
14:14Happy Mother's Day.
14:15Mother and I, you're not from here, you're stupid.
14:17Okay, listen, Ray, I...
14:35Korea.
14:44Okay, well, I'm going back across the street.
14:47Who's coming with me?
14:52I'll go with you, Mom.
14:55Anyone else?
14:58She ain't my mother.
15:12Go ahead, Ray.
15:17Raymond?
15:18Look, I shouldn't have to choose, okay?
15:21This is not my fight.
15:23Can't you two just start talking already?
15:25Come on, it's Mother's Day.
15:27Hey, can't one of you two mothers just say something?
15:42Dad, please, can you help me out here?
15:44What, are you kidding me?
15:45Maybe Debra will come around at some point, but we'll never get anything out of old sitting bull over there.
15:54Debra, please, come on.
15:56All right, just, just do it for me.
16:00Great.
16:01Great, great.
16:02You see?
16:02You see?
16:03Here's the problem, okay?
16:04You, you, you think it's just hard.
16:05Well, I'm going to say it.
16:06We all know that if, if my wife wasn't so snippy all the time, yes, I said snippy, none of
16:10this would have happened.
16:18You'd be snippy, too, if this woman was yammering at you all day long.
16:22You got nothing to complain about.
16:23Hey, how do you know what I've been going through over here, okay?
16:25I actually have to live with her, all right?
16:27So don't, don't start with me, because you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
16:40Whoa.
16:50Let me ask you something, pal.
16:52What have you had, a tough week?
16:55Well, I've been living with your mother since before you were born.
16:59Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a knock-knock joke.
17:02She's right.
17:03Knock-knock jokes stink.
17:05Look, that's not the point.
17:07Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are, tell a knock-knock joke,
17:10and Debra couldn't even give her that little bit of joy.
17:12Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
17:18She didn't have to be so rude.
17:19Rude is the only thing that gets through to her.
17:22How do you think I got the way I am?
17:25I used to be a gentleman!
17:34Debra!
17:34You were never a gentleman.
17:36You never gave Mom any respect.
17:37You're just as bad as Debra.
17:38Hey, it's a fine way to talk to our father.
17:40You don't like it?
17:41I don't talk to you at all.
17:41I don't talk to you at all.
17:43Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
17:45Sit down!
17:46I will sit down!
17:48Hi!
17:57Look what your fight is doing to the family.
17:59It's Mother's Day, and you're ruining it.
18:04This day is supposed to be for appreciating each other, not shutting each other out.
18:09We should not be wallowing in hate.
18:11We should be wallowing in a beautiful brunch of Belgian waffles and berries and sausages
18:18of both Link and Patty.
18:31Now, I know when we're angry and hurt, we can only see the negative in the other person.
18:36But you two people know deep down how you feel about each other, how you care about each
18:43other, and how much you love each other.
18:54I'm sorry, Ray.
18:55Me too, Dad.
18:56Not you guys!
19:00Yeah.
19:01Yeah, yeah.
19:02Yeah, come on.
19:04How about it, Debra?
19:06Yeah, what do you say, Marie?
19:07Can we eat?
19:10Can we eat?
19:35Why is there butter on your sheets?
19:55Oh, my God.
19:58Happy Mother's Day.
20:02Ray, there was only one bigger bouquet in the store, but it was for dead people.
20:10They're beautiful, Ray.
20:14Listen, you deserve them.
20:19I'm sorry about what I said about you, about you being snippy and all of it.
20:22Oh, that's okay.
20:24I'm sorry I was snippy to you.
20:27Yeah?
20:28So, what do you think?
20:31What do you say we end this?
20:33Huh?
20:35Let's push speed dial number one, and just tell her Happy Mother's Day from you.
20:44No.
20:45No?
20:45No?
20:46What?
20:46No?
20:47Not no.
20:48Yes.
20:49You don't really want to stay mad, do you?
20:51No, I'm not mad at her anymore.
20:52Yeah, but...
20:53I'm just going to live my life.
20:54And you know what?
20:55I think my life is going to be better from now on.
20:58But it won't.
21:01How could it be?
21:01There's going to be tension.
21:03I think what I've done is actually remove the source of the tension.
21:06You mean my mom?
21:08I think so, yes.
21:10Oh!
21:17Good night.
21:44Knock, knock.
21:48Who's there?
21:50Ivan.
21:51Ivan who?
21:53I have an idea.
21:54Talk to my mother.
21:56laughs
22:00Dave and fairy
22:23We'll be here.
22:23You mean me?
22:23Well done.
22:24What's yourış?
22:25I'll let you introduce yourself.
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