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00:12hey Ray I was cleaning out the basement and it by the way did you know your
00:16family's downstairs why do you think I'm upstairs why do you think I'm cleaning
00:23out the basement anyway I was down there and I came across a box of your old
00:27trophies my foosball trophies no your Nobel Prizes and look at this I found this in
00:36there what this tape says Karen 1982 on it I don't know what that is sounds like
00:50something from your college days who's Karen 1982 I don't know just some girl
00:55some nobody from the early 80s nobody you have to worry about let's play it no no
01:00no no you don't play it already what you worry listen to it when that seems like
01:07an invasion of everything I know I'm sorry I'm sorry here we go hi this is Ray if I'm
01:16not here I'm probably hanging at the quad with my girl Karen you know it Ray it's Karen listen there's
01:25something I need to say I wanted to tell you at the Capitol hoedown but you were having so
01:30much fun playing foosball so well I'll just say it I was thinking that maybe we should start seeing
01:38other people and you know not each other I'm sorry to kind of break up and everything on the phone
01:46but I
01:47didn't want to anyway okay I gotta go and you should change your outgoing message okay bye I was wondering
02:00why she hadn't called I don't get it Ray why would you keep a tape of a girl breaking up
02:10with you I
02:10didn't keep it no it's okay I mean you can keep whatever you want I'm just curious I didn't keep
02:15it
02:20come on Ray you kept it you took it out of the answering machine you labeled it and you placed
02:25it in a
02:25box along with a bunch of lame foosball trophies blame I was playing at a level that you will never
02:32understand and I noticed you took the time to pop out the tabs which you neglected to do with our
02:43wedding video all right so you're jealous I'm not jealous no I just think it's a little weird that
02:51you would keep a breakup tape for 20 years I don't see how that's weird a breakup tape that's like
02:57keeping a hangnail no it's not okay there's plenty of people that would keep this anybody nobody not
03:05nobody because I body I body you know the hardest thing to believe about this tape is that you went
03:13to
03:13college when you tell me why you keep no I don't have to tell you anything all right what you
03:19did is
03:20unconscionable that's right there's your college why are we yelling oh geez mom nobody's yelling then
03:30why am I up here yeah I don't know hey what's with the yelling yeah what's with the yelling come
03:36on
03:37could everybody please go why are you in your underwear because this is my bedroom you know
03:44what I'm glad you're out here let me ask you something do you think it's weird that someone
03:47would keep a tape of someone breaking up with them for 20 years Karen 1982 how the hell you know
03:55about
03:56that I came across it one day when I was drawing genitals on your foosball trophies you really are a
04:03mental case you know this so this Karen broad dumped you over the phone on a tape you never told
04:11me
04:12anything about a Karen how long did you two date I don't know like five months you went together five
04:19months and and this is how I find out about oh come on it was 20 years ago what were
04:24you doing with her
04:26nothing that kept her happy I gotta tell you breaking up on the answering machine is the way to go
04:36if those
04:37things were around in my day I wouldn't have had to move so much but nobody thinks it's odd that
04:47someone would keep a tape like this I'll tell you what it is it's dumb you should get rid of
04:52all
04:53evidence of the past I kept everything from my past relationships she had to it's tough to throw out a
05:00cave painting I mean I keep things too but they're they're happy things no letter pictures someone wrote me a
05:14poem once poem from home what poem who writes you poems a guy I knew in the 10th grade but
05:21it's a happy
05:21poem makes me smile when I read it you still read it I have once or twice you never told
05:31me about a
05:32poem burn everything I tell you such secrets from your husband I'm not keeping secrets Ray I didn't
05:41tell you because every time I mention an old boyfriend you say I don't want to hear it he
05:44doesn't want to know about it look look this is not unusual everybody keeps nice stuff what they
05:50don't keep our breakup tapes forget it just forget it you know where it's nice in the basement can I
06:00hear
06:01that Karen no no no it's not your business I have a copy okay Debra I was thinking I now
06:22understand that
06:22it is kind of weird to keep that tape right can we just drop the whole thing no no no
06:26no no I wish that I
06:27had told you about okay I should have been more open we should be more open I think from now
06:32on we
06:32should both be open okay let's consider this opening night in this shoe box I have everything from my
06:40past relationships yeah yeah and I'm gonna show it to you just to show you that you know I can
06:46show
06:48great if you want yes I do I do I really do you first what oh you got a poem
06:59you said there's some
07:00other stuff I want to see what you got why are we gonna be open or not yeah I mean
07:07of course I
07:08want to be open but I don't think you're doing this for the right reason is wanting to be closer
07:14to
07:14you not the right you are so full of it but I do want to be more open and I
07:21would like to be closer
07:22what am I saying here okay you're sure yes let's do this show me your stuff good this is good
07:29I'm glad
07:30we're doing this this is gonna be good for our marriage Wow got in there a poem or the guy
07:46who
07:46wrote it what can I say I've inspired some writing okay go ahead no no no no you heard my
07:55tape it's
07:56your turn go ahead let's start with the poem all right that was fast what he got it alphabetized you
08:09want to hear the poem or not yeah this is from Chad Chad Deborah's eyes brown as earth giveth life
08:23to
08:24tree and brush speckled green like the breast of a thrush yellow ring does the Sun on a web so
08:31many
08:32colors in thine eye my dad oh my god that's the phone don't make fun of it I don't have
08:52to read it
08:52it happens to be very romantic yeah yeah yeah read it again no you don't appreciate it for your
08:59information he wrote this in the 10th grade and he ended up going to Yale not on a poetry scholarship
09:05well I don't see you write me any poems I can't now Chad killed poetry so that's all you got
09:14some rhymes
09:15about your many colored eyeball no there are letters and gifts gifts what you didn't tell me
09:23about any gifts what show me a gift they're not in the box where are they around around where I
09:30don't
09:30know I got that bird feeder out in back that was from a boyfriend it's great gift guarantees the birds
09:39are nice and full when they fly over my car boy but Chad's a real winner it wasn't from Chad
09:47that
09:47was from Gary Gary no not a guy hmm what's Gary's deal huh a good kisser okay listen you know
09:56what I'm
09:57sorry I brought this up come on is he a good kisser I don't remember well come on I just
10:02want to know
10:02when I'm hosing off my windshield that the kissing was good right I really don't remember none of these
10:08guys mean anything to me now what other gifts do you have I don't know the pepper grinder the pepper
10:15grinder our pepper grinder the grinder I pepper my food with
10:26come what else Ali's doll with the blue dress Susanna some boyfriend gave Ali the Susanna doll oh he
10:37gave it to me well why did you let her play with it she saw it and she wanted it
10:40she didn't know
10:41where it was from so she just saw some boyfriend doll well you have it out when you were reading
10:46poetry and feeding the birds with pepper you know maybe I don't want to be closer to you yeah well
10:58it's
10:58too late now we're close my friend okay what else no no no come on I want to know about
11:04all your other
11:05lover gifts
11:07go ahead
11:18are you gonna write these down yeah for insurance purposes let's go okay all right the leaky cooler in
11:26garage sucky cooler yeah I got my own system what else the lamp with the horses horses ass lamp
11:42keep going no there are some other things but I don't want to play this anymore what what other
11:47things God these things must be everywhere right what about in here huh anything in our bedroom from
11:53your past no there is there is isn't there what what is it am I wearing any of us the
12:11white picture
12:12frame that's around a picture of our children you sure that they weren't a gift calm down oh all right
12:37come on come here come here no no no you can't lure me with your sex that's how you do
12:44it right
12:46I come over there the next thing you know I'm in a cage with Chad and Gary going I hope
12:50Debra comes
13:01back yeah where you been what's all this stuff I bought some things I thought it was time to get
13:07some new better things
13:13what'd you get what'd I get I got some great stuff I got a cooler a lamp a picture frame
13:18and a pepper mill that has been chef recommended
13:34some new better things oh and I almost forgot Debra's ears
13:47one on each side like a dainty cup so gently they hold thine sunglasses up so round and nice with
13:58a subtle ridge there's no bone in there it's cartilage
14:10okay very nice so now that we have all these things you can get rid of all the other stuff
14:15Ray what if as you say Chad and Gary and the other givers of
14:21gifts don't mean anything then you should have no reason to keep that stuff so let's just toss it out
14:24don't you think you're going a little overboard no I do not you're a completely
14:29rational person yes I am has anyone seen Susanna
14:39you didn't didn't what how are we supposed to know where your doll is huh maybe this is what happens
14:45when
14:45you don't take care of your things Ray did you look under your bed yes in the rest of your
14:52room yes and
14:53in the trunk of my car no well then maybe before you come in here and start going mommy daddy
15:00I can't find my
15:01things maybe you should look there
15:13what were you gonna do Ray dump the doll's body in Jersey
15:21I was just gonna take it for a ride maybe let's come back with a brand new better doll maybe
15:31a black
15:31one unless maybe you have some kind of problem with that oh you are out of your mind are you
15:35gonna throw
15:36out the stuff or not no I would do it for you I would never ask you to do that
15:41well you wouldn't
15:41have to I never put you in the position of having to here here my entire pre-debra female history
15:47go on
15:48what are you doing I do it for you wait a minute what's in here this is just the tape
15:57and a shoehorn there's
15:58nothing in here what are you bluffing so I'll throw out my stuff I wasn't bluffing Deborah that's all there
16:10is shoehorn came with the box what about that what a hunk mug with the hearts from my mom
16:36oh don't feel sorry for me unless you're feeling sorry for me because I have to live in a museum
16:41of
16:41your erotic past it is not a museum so you admit it was erotic you know what it's time to
16:51clean out
16:51all right okay fine you throw it all out if you want you can throw out all my stuff I
16:56don't care
16:57about that stuff but if you think that you are going to erase my past you are not gonna do
17:02that
17:02and I don't know why you would want to do that because my past has made me who I am
17:13so I can throw it all out
17:22you know you have a problem you know what your problem is that tape no it's not
17:27yes it is you think all these gifts mean as much to me as your precious tape means to you
17:32the tape
17:32doesn't mean anything to me you just saw me throw it in the garbage and I saw your face when
17:36you
17:36listened to it all of a sudden it was 20 years ago and we were back in your dorm room
17:40I didn't make
17:40any face you turn all red and embarrassed like on our first date when you ordered the fillet mignan
17:58so it's a little embarrassing no it's more than that but if you don't want to tell me why Karen
18:061982
18:07still means so much to you I'm not gonna keep asking why did she break up with me what that's
18:24why I kept the tape for so long I just wanted to figure it out could you listen to the
18:30tape maybe
18:30there's some hidden woman thing I'm not hearing I heard the tape she doesn't say why she breaks
18:37up with you why doesn't she I wasn't there what happened I don't know things were going good we've
18:47been going out for a couple months it seemed like she was happy with me then I remember we went
18:53to see
18:54Tootsie I liked it she liked it we had fun next thing I know goodbye forever ray what'd I do
19:01people
19:04like Tootsie right I liked it see so what was it it's like somebody can break up with you at
19:15any time
19:16for no reason I just always wanted to know why so hi ray this is Deborah um I've been doing
19:45some
19:45thinking and these are the reasons why we should break up you're obsessive insecure selfish you don't
19:54always have the best judgment with your children and their dolls and yet I'm never gonna leave you
20:02ever because you happen to be perfect for me and I love you very much you stupid stupid man
20:25that's the best message anybody's ever left
20:35still want to lure me with your sex
20:44did you ever listen to the rest of that tape from college what do you mean sounds like there
20:49were a lot more messages on it no I didn't listen to the camera message all I could listen to
20:55was Dan
20:55Vogelberg ready ready for this hello Raymond it's your mother I haven't heard from you today did you enjoy the
21:13cookies I sent you
21:24Raymond Albert Barone this is your mother you pick up that phone and you call me ray it's your father
21:33Jesus Luke call your mother
21:38friend Ray Robert I was thinking of coming up this weekend Robbie are you talking to Raymond I gotta get
21:43out of this house I can't take it anymore why don't you go to college you gotta help me man
21:48come on come on
21:49give me that phone no no no no no get out of my room
22:23you
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