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Houston-based content creator, Brandy Gueary and her husband, Mike, have been together since middle school. In fact, Brandy was Mike's first date — ever. Now, 10 years, two kids, and countless major life pivots later, they're still together, still deeply in love, and still doing their best to support one another like teammates.

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Transcript
00:00I remember being like, I am not going to be your girlfriend forever, so whatever that means.
00:07So come on with it.
00:09Right.
00:17We first met in middle school.
00:19We actually talked on the phone one time.
00:21I called you and you acted like you were so busy.
00:24I was. I was watching wrestling at that time.
00:27You can't call on Monday nights.
00:29I honestly just kind of like to pick on you because you were so quiet.
00:35Oh, yeah. This was like junior year.
00:37By that time, I was fully invested into football and you were twirling.
00:41We had a class together and that's when I was like, he's quiet.
00:44Let me bother him.
00:46Right. I remember those days.
00:48Do you remember our first date?
00:49I borrowed my mom's car and I took you to Chili's.
00:53I remember picking you up and you wasn't quite ready yet.
00:56Your dad opened the door and I vividly remember him asking me where I was taking you.
01:02He asked for my driver's license.
01:03He asked for my insurance card.
01:05He did it. He's supposed to.
01:05He asked for like a hair sample.
01:07He did not.
01:07A urine sample.
01:08He asked for like everything.
01:10And then I'm looking at your mom.
01:12She's looking at me like, hand it over.
01:14I'm like, dang.
01:17So, I knew then that, you know, you coming from a good household.
01:22After that, we just kind of stayed hanging out and we almost didn't make it to the same
01:28school and college.
01:29Like, I had like a potential, you know, scholarship somewhere else.
01:32You kind of told me like that you wanted us to go to school together and like stay together.
01:37And I was like, hmm, okay.
01:38At that time, I was just, I was just young.
01:42I wasn't afraid, but I didn't like change.
01:44You know, I felt like what we had going was pretty cool.
01:47And I knew like me going to school six hours west of Texas and not knowing anybody, you
01:53know, for any 18-year-old, it just felt weird at the time.
01:58We both moved back to Houston and it was like a really nice kind of time period in our lives.
02:03It was like, I had so much time on my hands back then, just like living the responsibilities.
02:09We got back from college, got our first jobs.
02:11And then I finally was like, I think I'm ready to move out on my own.
02:15And you didn't believe me for the longest time.
02:17Oh yeah, I thought it was the biggest prank ever.
02:20Whatever.
02:21So, I finally moved out and I went to Costa Rica with Christine for like two weeks.
02:28Like that was probably like the longest we've been apart.
02:30And then, of course, when I came back, I got pregnant with Grant.
02:34Right.
02:35And I was like, oh shit.
02:38It's really real now.
02:40I remember taking a pregnancy test and like the way we looked at each other.
02:44It was so emotional.
02:46I was sitting there right on the tub.
02:47It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
02:49I was like, are you sure?
02:50We were both looking at each other just like, we wanted to get married first.
02:54Like, oh my gosh, we have a baby on the way.
02:57Like, it wasn't the happiest moment.
03:00No, it probably wasn't.
03:02It definitely accelerated things.
03:04Yeah.
03:04And it's like, okay.
03:06We decided to get married before Grant was born, which was, I think, a great idea.
03:11Because they take over everything.
03:14And I wouldn't have been able to plan a wedding or anything like that.
03:19It just made me like grow up like this quick.
03:23When did you notice that I was messy?
03:25Well, I noticed that when you first invited me over to your house back.
03:29This is like senior high school.
03:30She got clothes right here.
03:32It's a closet right there.
03:34Why aren't the clothes in the closet?
03:36And I was like, okay.
03:38This is different from how I do it.
03:40Woo!
03:41You know, she's still cool.
03:42I still like her.
03:43She's dirty, but she's cool.
03:46Dirty is a strong word.
03:47Dirty is a strong word.
03:49I feel like the high points are like when we just really get to relax into like our family life.
03:56I think those are good.
03:58I think a low would be, you know, sometimes when we get too busy with your business and, you know,
04:04when I'm training or whatever, we don't really get that time to connect.
04:09And so we lose that, you know, that connection.
04:12Right, the connection, the physical touch or whatever.
04:14We just go about our day to day and just like, next thing you know, a week and a half,
04:18two weeks go by and like, man, like, haven't seen you this much or whatever.
04:21We haven't talked this much.
04:22We haven't connected.
04:23We haven't checked in.
04:24Learning.
04:25We're still learning.
04:25You never stop learning.
04:27You can never get too comfortable.
04:29When Sloan was born, Grant was already, what, seven years old.
04:33So we've done so much with him.
04:34I thought for a long time, you know, we maybe just be one and done.
04:392019, man, I remember we got pregnant with Sloan.
04:42And then I'm like, man, what the hell?
04:44What's going on?
04:45It didn't help, too, that that was like a really rough time in our relationship.
04:49Right, right, right.
04:49Having such an independent child already in Grant and then going back to having a newborn was extremely rough.
04:56Absolutely.
04:57The level of exhaustion was one that I had not felt in a very long time.
05:03I was used to getting a full eight hours.
05:04It was a vast difference between being in your 20s, having a kid, and then now you're in your 30s.
05:1027 and, like, 30-whatever I was.
05:1334, 35, man, it's a whole different game.
05:17I think we got back to better places by, we are married.
05:21Like, we are on the same team.
05:23We have to treat each other like teammates and arguing about, like, things that don't matter.
05:29Is that how you win or is that how you, like, lose as a team?
05:33The more we communicated and realized, like, what winning feels like for us, it's like, oh, okay.
05:40This is what it feels like to win together.
05:42This is what it feels like to truly work together and have each other's back and think about the other
05:47person.
05:47You know, sometimes you get comfortable when, you know, people don't realize being in a relationship is a constant effort.
05:55It's a constant fight, you know, to make things, to make that shit go.
05:58So, like, just having, like, that midweek or, like, the end of the week check-in, I think, has been,
06:04like, very beneficial for us.
06:07We literally lay in bed and literally, like, just look at each other like, so, how's it going?
06:13What's going on at work? What's going on with this? What's going on with that?
06:20How does it feel to be in love with a black man?
06:25To love a black man is to experience a level of understanding that can't be found anywhere else.
06:34It's comfort. It's like, it's like home.
06:37It's just, like, all the good things in life wrapped up into one package.
06:41Being in love with a black woman, it's like, it's amazing to know that you can continue to build your
06:47legacy with someone who comes from the same root as you.
06:50A teammate, a soulmate, a partner.
06:53Here we go.
06:55Everything and above, you know, because we got our backs.
07:00Mm-hmm.
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