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On this episode of Dear Black Love we meet YouTube darlings Josh and Isi. From friends to sweethearts, this newly engaged couple have grown up online sharing their story along the way.

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Transcript
00:00It's like you wanted...
00:01No, I did not.
00:03I just did not know what was happening.
00:05You didn't know you wanted me.
00:07But I knew you wanted me.
00:09I knew it for both of us.
00:18Do you want to explain freshman year?
00:20You just want me to tell you that I had a crush on you.
00:23So the thing is, you, as you know,
00:26were like the first guy and only guy on that campus
00:30where I was like, oh, who is that?
00:33But I didn't go anywhere with it
00:34because I was in a relationship.
00:36There's a catch.
00:37And then you were on your hot boy stuff.
00:40Freshman year.
00:41I think everybody should be single the freshman year.
00:43So we just developed a friendship.
00:45As a matter of fact, I think you were sort of...
00:47I was your wing girl.
00:48I was putting you on the girls at parties and stuff.
00:51Yeah.
00:52Sophomore year comes back around.
00:54And I was looking what?
00:55When you showed up,
00:57when you showed up that first day,
00:59black leather outfit,
01:01I remember seeing it and I felt different.
01:03I was like, why do I feel weird about seeing
01:06what was supposed to be my friend?
01:08And by then, I think,
01:09do you think we were best friends then?
01:10By that time, yeah.
01:11And then things really got interesting.
01:14My birthday.
01:15Your birthday.
01:15That's when I, that,
01:16see, all the other time that we were talking about,
01:18I had no idea you had any feelings
01:20until my birthday, you tried me.
01:22Yeah, it was multiple carpools.
01:24And then sure enough,
01:25I think one of the parties left early with their car.
01:28Yeah.
01:28And then the numbers just played out
01:29where it's like, okay,
01:30well, someone's going to have to lap up.
01:32And I was like, well, I mean,
01:33you can always sell my lap
01:35if that's okay with you.
01:36You didn't deny it.
01:37So...
01:37I had nowhere else to go.
01:41You could have figured something out.
01:42I don't know.
01:43But you chose my lap
01:45and I was thankful for that.
01:47I had put my hand on your thigh
01:48and I had whispered something like,
01:50ooh, I'm going to get in trouble.
01:51Yeah, you said it.
01:52If I keep this shit on your thigh.
01:55And then you flirted back.
01:57You the one that pulled on my tie.
01:59I like it.
02:00You pulled on my tie to the dance floor.
02:01We had a couple dances.
02:02Did we?
02:03Yes.
02:04Yes.
02:05Oh, we were bold.
02:05Remember it like it was a dream.
02:06I don't remember dancing, babe.
02:08Tried to get a kiss.
02:10No.
02:12And at that moment,
02:13I realized that you liked me,
02:16but you didn't fully trust me yet.
02:18At that moment,
02:18I started playing chess, not checkers.
02:22We've gone in some random earth shop,
02:25whatever,
02:26and I'd seen this gold necklace
02:27with a literal organ heart.
02:29And so I got it.
02:31And then when I gave it to you,
02:33I gave you a whole spiel like,
02:34yo, you're one of the only people
02:36that I know
02:38with a heart made a gold.
02:39And in that moment,
02:40I could see in your eyes
02:42Did you?
02:43Like a barrier.
02:44Finally, I just,
02:45it was me and you in your dorm room,
02:47and I was like,
02:47that's it.
02:49I'm getting a kiss.
02:50That's it.
02:51We can't keep doing this.
02:52It's been too long.
02:53I know you like me.
02:54We like each other.
02:55Let me get a kiss.
02:55And that was probably
02:56the worst kiss we've ever had.
02:58It was the first kiss,
02:59you know?
03:00It was the worst,
03:00but it was the first.
03:01Okay.
03:01We'll get ready.
03:06The first three years
03:08were interesting.
03:09Yes.
03:10What were some things
03:10you feel like
03:11we had to overcome
03:12to get to where we are now?
03:14One thing
03:14that you brought out of me
03:16was my emotional intelligence.
03:17I had two emotions.
03:19I was either good,
03:20happy,
03:20or mad,
03:21and upset.
03:22Yeah.
03:23And there was a bunch of,
03:24You pissed.
03:24Yeah, it was pissed.
03:25I think what really got me
03:27to look myself in the mirror
03:29about the way
03:30I expressed my frustrations
03:31was when you,
03:32you said it scared you.
03:34Mm.
03:36And that hit different.
03:38I feel like it hit different
03:39because it wasn't,
03:41I don't like this.
03:42Because it's like,
03:43okay, well,
03:43there's some things
03:44I don't like too.
03:45But when you said
03:46it scared you,
03:46I was like,
03:46I never want to scare you.
03:47I don't want you
03:48to be afraid of me.
03:49So.
03:49Because whenever you
03:50would like hit the wall
03:51and it wouldn't be
03:51anything between us.
03:52Like one of your boys
03:53would make you mad
03:54and like that's how
03:55you resolve.
03:55Yeah.
03:56But just even seeing that,
03:57I'm like,
03:57eh,
03:58that could possibly,
03:59I could one day
04:00do something
04:00that'll make you upset
04:01and I don't want that energy
04:02to trickle into our relationship.
04:03So yeah,
04:04I remember saying that to you.
04:05But me individually,
04:07and I don't even know
04:07if this was one through three
04:09or year four
04:09when you finally called me out
04:11on the fact that
04:11I didn't know how to apologize.
04:13Like I never said sorry
04:14when I did something wrong
04:16or like offended you
04:18or hurt your feelings
04:18or whatever.
04:20And that,
04:21yeah,
04:21it hit me.
04:21It was one day
04:22you were very clear
04:23about it too.
04:24You were like,
04:25basically,
04:25I'm used to being the person
04:26like if this doesn't change,
04:27I can't be in this.
04:28And that was the first time
04:29you took that stance
04:30like if you can't change this,
04:31I can't be in this relationship.
04:37So post-college.
04:39Yeah.
04:40Now,
04:40what did that look like for you?
04:41Because this is a different,
04:42this is two different worlds.
04:43We had completely different worlds.
04:44Two different out the gates.
04:46So because I started
04:46my YouTube channel
04:48junior year of college,
04:50I was already,
04:51I guess you could say
04:52like successful enough
04:53where post-graduation,
04:55that was what I was doing
04:56full-time.
04:57You hit the ground running.
04:58Now me.
04:59Yeah.
05:01Mr. 4.0.
05:02That was so interesting.
05:03Mr. 4.0,
05:04top of the class,
05:05summa cum laude.
05:06Man.
05:07I thought that it had
05:08everything together.
05:09Right.
05:09But I was just very ill-prepared
05:11for what post-college looked like.
05:13Yeah.
05:13I ended up
05:14saving up
05:15about $2,000
05:18or something like that
05:19buying a car
05:20and then that was my home
05:22until finally
05:24I just
05:25basically broke down
05:27and like came to you
05:28and was like,
05:29yo,
05:29I'm really down and out.
05:31I've been lying this whole time.
05:32I'm down and out
05:33and I need help.
05:34I saw you in your
05:35social media space
05:36being an entrepreneur,
05:37doing all that stuff.
05:38Yeah.
05:39And I was searching for a job
05:40but in the back of my head
05:41I was like,
05:42well,
05:42I want to be on that
05:43entrepreneurship,
05:43you know,
05:44phase with you.
05:45And you were all over the place.
05:46All over the place.
05:47Business venture
05:48after business venture
05:49I brought across your door.
05:50Yeah.
05:50At that point
05:51you sat me down
05:51and you're like,
05:52look,
05:53I see
05:54that you're working hard
05:56but you're not working smart.
05:58For yourself.
05:58For yourself.
05:59It's not even for like
06:00this relationship.
06:01Just for you.
06:01For you.
06:02Yeah.
06:02You were like,
06:03I'm not saying
06:04this is over.
06:06I basically said
06:07you got a year.
06:08They're saying
06:08this time next year
06:10we're going to have
06:11this conversation again.
06:12If we're in the same spot
06:13it would probably be best
06:14for us to just go
06:15our separate ways.
06:16The amount of effort,
06:17time,
06:18consistency,
06:18like we were working
06:19through our problems,
06:20learning my emotions,
06:21all this stuff.
06:21So I was like,
06:22there's no way
06:24that she going to leave me.
06:26There's no way.
06:27I was leaving.
06:29Okay,
06:30let's correct that.
06:31I was going to be gone.
06:32And then I started serving
06:34tables like my life
06:35depended on it.
06:36I was rolling out stops,
06:37smiling, cracking jokes,
06:38trying to get as many tips
06:39as possible.
06:40And after that,
06:41three months later,
06:42I got a little call back
06:43to the office.
06:44It was like,
06:45you want to be a manager?
06:46And I called you
06:47right after that.
06:48I was like,
06:49babe,
06:49they want me to be a manager.
06:50I don't know if I should do it.
06:51And you're like,
06:51are you kidding me?
06:52Right, I was like...
06:53Are you kidding?
06:54Hold on,
06:54I'm cutting my eyes.
06:55Something's in my eyes.
06:57Every once in a while
06:58I'll have you on my channel
06:59and people be like,
06:59oh,
06:59you should just turn your channel
07:01into a couple's channel.
07:02And I'm like,
07:02nah,
07:03this is mine.
07:04So how about we make
07:05a channel separate?
07:06I think there was also
07:08a smidge of jealousy,
07:10again,
07:10that there was a you thing,
07:13an us thing,
07:14no me thing.
07:15Yeah.
07:16And you're like,
07:17right now,
07:18we need to do what we have to
07:19so we can do what we want to.
07:20Yeah.
07:26I think something
07:27that we've seen
07:28in a lot of our culture
07:31is when people get money,
07:33they tend to blow it.
07:35Yeah.
07:36Fast.
07:36Yeah.
07:36We've always been
07:37very focused on,
07:38you know,
07:39building generational wealth,
07:40something that we can
07:41substantially pass down
07:42to our children,
07:43that can be passed down
07:44for generations.
07:45I think a big generational curse
07:46that I'm trying to break
07:47on my end of things
07:48is toxic masculinity.
07:50It's just been a thing.
07:52Guys not being able
07:53to express themselves,
07:54guys not being able
07:55to talk about their
07:56feelings.
07:57The concept of like
07:58an independent,
07:59strong black woman,
08:00I think it's amazing.
08:02But I think it can
08:03sometimes have
08:04its toxic traits
08:05because at least for me,
08:07I was just raised
08:08with saying that,
08:09like that was my paradigm.
08:10My dad passed
08:10when I was young.
08:11So in a lot of cases,
08:13it's been like
08:14my mom handling everything
08:15by herself,
08:16doesn't need anybody.
08:17And sometimes that can be toxic
08:18and I can see that,
08:20you know,
08:21in myself sometimes too.
08:28So we are getting married
08:30next year.
08:30Got the rings to prove it.
08:32Are you excited?
08:33How excited are you
08:34on a scale of 1 to 10?
08:35What?
08:36On a scale of 1 to 10.
08:38Quality?
08:40Scale of 1 to 10,
08:41quality.
08:42You've changed my life.
08:43You've opened doors
08:44and opened parts of me
08:48that I didn't know existed.
08:49The way we just laugh
08:50every single day.
08:52Every day.
08:52Sometimes there's cons to it
08:54because we have like
08:54business or whatever
08:55we need to be taking care of
08:56and we're just goofing off
08:57entirely too much.
08:58But I think
08:58just the way we laugh together,
09:00how we play off
09:01of each other's like energies
09:02and like ultimately
09:03I think it's just the friendship.
09:05Like us being best friends
09:07platonically
09:08during those years in college
09:09heavily carried over
09:10into our relationship
09:11and stayed.
09:12I don't know.
09:13Something about you
09:14and this beautiful melanin
09:16has changed my life
09:18indefinitely.
09:19Which is why I put a ring on it
09:20and I knew from the start
09:21that this is exactly
09:22what I wanted.
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