00:00Your dad when he met me and he found out my birthday because our birthdays are
00:03one day apart he's July 9th of July 10th and he told me I've never met a man
00:07more than July than I ever liked hi I'm Naomi Graham I'm 27 and I'm an
00:19elementary school French immersion teacher my name is Jesse Obeng I'm 29
00:23and I'm a data analyst and consultant we're newly married I'm Naomi Obeng
00:33babes how did we meet we met on hinge our first date was like not good it was good it
00:41wasn't great
00:42I wasn't hungry so I got an appetizer and then I got a pizza you ate some of it and
00:46then I ordered
00:46another round of calamari and two glasses of wine it wasn't a good first date it was delicious you're
00:59it was so ugly I still have it I love that jacket I love that jacket I've never seen and
01:07hope to
01:08never again see a fuzzy gray jacket on an adult mat but how I saw the potential you're always handsome
01:15but I think you've definitely become more handsome you're always handsome babes even when you had no
01:20locks and no mustache and no beard my whole life I never grew my hair it wasn't until you met
01:26a
01:27Jamaican she said Rasta I'm still not down for the the hair but she's very down for you
01:36when did we define the relationship we had had like constant dialogue we were just kind of like
01:41checking in on like where we were at what we wanted and then the pandemic came and it was actually
01:47a real
01:47like external assessment like oh so is this really where you're at because I think we were progressing
01:53yeah spending that time together I think accelerated things for me we started staying in each other's
01:59bubbles yeah and then we started making patties since we couldn't like hang out with our friends
02:03we just delivered patties to their door and that's when all of our friends were like yo these are kind
02:07of fire and neither of us have done a food business before and so it was just like okay this
02:12is a good
02:13foray into trying to get into some level of entrepreneurship I love all this stuff but my
02:19favorite thing it's us before the business it's always us yeah we're not gonna let this destroy us
02:24yeah and if it comes down to it if we have to choose we got to choose we throw it
02:27away and I love that
02:28yeah because it felt safe it felt like you prioritized me and us I remember also being like nervous about
02:36dating
02:37the past hinge dates before you were not good you were third hinge guy nice and third and last
02:44thankfully I was like telling my friends it wasn't that serious at first yeah I said no this is the
02:50love of my life I've seen her love at first sight yeah even though you kept seeing other people after
02:56our first date I did because at the time we were both saying that we weren't sure what we were
03:00ready
03:01for it's true because we were both coming out of situations where we weren't sure if uh we wanted to
03:06just make sure we took the time to evaluate what we wanted what we wanted and so I remember talking
03:11to my friends about it and they're like nah she sounds great I guess like whenever I was describing you
03:17like there's so much good to say like you were super sweet nice you had a little attitude but it
03:25was
03:25kind of okay you know it's kind of spicy I liked it it's not like the girls so they met
03:30you and heard
03:31what you think a little bit later but they were like pro jesse I met your family pretty early on
03:35yeah your mom sweetest lady you know like that's my mother me while my dad your dad is like snap
03:42a scotto sorry sir I didn't need the wine I mean him taking some time to warm up it's true
03:47your dad
03:48when he met me and he found out my birthday because our birthdays are one day apart he's July 9th
03:52of
03:52July 10th and he told me I've never met a man born in July that I ever liked
04:00but there's so many instances where we were supposed to run into each other but I think we came to
04:04each other
04:04at the right time I 100% agree like I like the person who I was when I met you
04:08and I think that
04:10that person was ready for the relationship that we have now I agree anybody other than the person
04:15that I was when we met wouldn't have been prepared sometimes when I think about like
04:22instances in our relationship I always remember that conversation that we had and I was so scared
04:27about having with you when like because you know when we first met everything was super chill and I
04:32was like feeling like kind of like ambivalent in terms of like religion when my church did the fast
04:39for 21 days and I just told you about it and I was scared because I never wanted you to
04:43feel like I was
04:44pressuring you but I also didn't want to not tell you because we were at that point we were telling
04:48each other everything I didn't ask you anything and you're just like oh I can do it with you like
04:52I'll do it too I grew up in church it wasn't until like you were talking to me more about
04:57it how you're
04:58going back to church how you're involved in church and like in the beginning I'm like I wasn't that
05:02interested and then I started to take some time and I was like like praying on my own and reading
05:07my
05:07Bible on my own because you didn't ever like say hey you gotta be like at the pulpit swinging the
05:15Bible to be with me I felt like I had space to like explore yeah and so I did and
05:22I did the Daniel
05:22fast and it was an incredible experience it was challenging but it was good yeah I'm grateful that
05:28that's something that like you were a vehicle for bringing that back to me we were doing our answers
05:34independently and then coming back to share them and I never forget that on that day when it asked
05:40like what did you learn during the year we both wrote that we learned that we could love again
05:47I feel like you've taught me to not be embarrassed and just watching you how comfortable you are in
05:53your skin all the time like you are Jesse 100% of the time you are very dependable everyone in
06:00your
06:00life knows that it's like who you're gonna call Jesse not Ghostbusters whatever it is if it's time if
06:07it's money if it's a brute force if it's advice if it's like counsel if it's support if it's love
06:12you
06:13are like that person that's in someone's corner vocally in their corner all of the time you have
06:20a really good way of articulating your emotions like that's something that I struggled with and
06:26you have a really good way of like communicating your thoughts clearly eloquently so that people
06:31can understand your perspective they walk away questioning their stance and recognizing that there's
06:37more nuance that they were thinking about I think that's something that you helped me do a lot where a
06:42lot of
06:42thoughts that I thought had I'd solidified a very long time ago that I could recognize that there's more to
06:50it we have great dialogue
06:55what's your pet peeves my name let's go laziness laziness laziness is a disease I think that's very ironic coming
07:03from the prime sleeper inner of the house sleeping is not laziness sleeping I'm resting my body so I can
07:09be optimal performing I've never mentioned this to you because I just do it but when uh the toothpaste is
07:14all crinkled up you don't just slide it to the bottom like like a good person should
07:23there's so much that we have planned within the next few years between like buying a home having
07:29children starting businesses it's really hard to place my finger on exactly yeah what I needed to look
07:36like because like what I wanted to look like often changes as I go through the year
07:46I want you to extend yourself more grace and experience more peace that's what I really want
07:54for you more than anything in being that amazing dependable person you really like take on everything
08:00for everyone all at one time and I just want you to know that you're enough as much as we
08:07may want it
08:08to as much as the world might look like that that we're allowed to be patient we're allowed to take
08:15the steps in the right way we're allowed to move through a method you can feel safe takes taking risks
08:26how does it feel to love a black man I personally don't think anyone could love me as well as
08:31a black
08:32man could and it's not just like trauma bonding there's a black man growing up in a black home
08:37with black siblings I think you know hair is always a thing I don't want my hair growing for my
08:42hair to be
08:42political at home I love that we can both tan I love that you started doing a skincare routine with
08:49me and
08:49now you wear sunscreen it feels like the epitome of safety how does it feel being loved by a black
08:54woman
08:54there's an understanding that comes from being loved by a black woman there's a safety in being
09:02loved by a black woman where I'm able to like be vulnerable in a way with you that I couldn't
09:08be
09:08vulnerable outside I'm able to have certain things that I don't even necessarily have to communicate
09:14that you understand like that time in the car with that man so we were driving down Dundas
09:21and I don't know if someone was trying to get past us yeah and you called you the n-word
09:25you called me the n-word out loud out loud at home we're able to have pretty like easy dialogue
09:31there's a cultural understanding there's a social and familial understanding that comes with it and
09:38there's like a familiar type of love feels exactly how I want it to feel you know it's exactly how
09:44I like my love
09:51I'm
09:51I'm
09:52I'm
09:53I'm
09:53I'm
09:53I'm
09:53I'm
09:53I'm
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