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  • 13 hours ago
These New York natives connected over the Memorial Day long weekend in 2021. Both adamant that they didn’t want (or were ready for) anything serious they were both shocked when they fell in love. Now located in Houston, TX they share a dog, Ziggy, and have big plans for their future.

Dear, Black Love #r29unbothered is celebrating relationships through the lens of Blackness and intersectionality. Whether your love is monogamous, polyamorous, interracial, or heteronormative, this is #BlackLove

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Transcript
00:00I feel like when we really started to date,
00:02I didn't really broadcast it too much.
00:04I posted little subtle things like,
00:06when you took me, took it.
00:07Crab legs, because you know, I love crab legs.
00:13It's kind of hard to say how we met or when we met,
00:15because I was definitely in a relationship when we met.
00:18Even though I might have found you attractive
00:20or found any type of interest in you,
00:22there was no pursuing it.
00:23I feel like Snapchat was the kickoff.
00:25At the time, I didn't know if you were in a relationship or not.
00:28I remember writing you.
00:29I think I was like, hey, what's up?
00:31And then when you responded, I just went ghost.
00:33I didn't know what to say back.
00:34I'm like, what's next?
00:35From there, that Memorial Day weekend.
00:38Yeah, that's when it kicked off,
00:41because I was in Cancun with a few of my friends,
00:45and we were out there having a blast.
00:47And I was packing to go on a trip,
00:49and then our flights got canceled for that trip,
00:51so my friends and I rerouted to Cancun,
00:54which was completely random.
00:56Like, it wasn't following you.
00:57It wasn't following you.
00:58It was random.
01:00And then when I got there, I'm like asking my friends,
01:03like, yo, should I hit him up?
01:04Like, this is really not me.
01:05Like, just shoot my shot.
01:07So I was like, you know what?
01:08Let me just send a mystery message,
01:10and I'll have you figure it out.
01:11And then I sent it to you.
01:13Yeah, I was like, so what's up?
01:14Look up.
01:14Right.
01:15I was like, where are you staying?
01:16And then you sent me your location,
01:17and then I sent you my location,
01:19and it was five minutes away from each other.
01:21So I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm licking.
01:23It's lit.
01:24Yeah, so...
01:24And once you got back to New York, you called me,
01:27and I'm like, did he leave a shirt?
01:30Did he leave, like, his passport?
01:32Why are you calling me?
01:32He just wanted to have a conversation.
01:34What's wrong with that?
01:35I don't know. It was just so weird.
01:37I'm like, this is supposed to be chilling.
01:38Like, why are you calling me?
01:40The place that I was in mentally and emotionally,
01:42I wasn't ready for a long-term,
01:44fully invested emotional relationship.
01:46Right.
01:47And I don't think that was your intention.
01:48Yeah, and I made that clear from the beginning.
01:50Like, I was super transparent.
01:52Right.
01:53Like, I made sure that it was known that,
01:56listen, I just got out of a three-year relationship.
01:59Mm-hmm.
02:00I'm trying to chill for a little bit.
02:01Mm-hmm.
02:02But we didn't deny the vibe from there.
02:04We were just hanging out.
02:05I've been to my channel, like, two, three times a week.
02:07It was more of a sneaky link type of thing.
02:10It wasn't really, we weren't really outside.
02:12Mm-hmm.
02:12It finally got to a point where it was like,
02:14yo, let's go.
02:15Let's go on a date.
02:16So we went.
02:17It was kind of awkward.
02:19It was weird.
02:19Because now we outside.
02:20Right.
02:21Then it got sticky.
02:24Yeah.
02:24Then feelings got involved a little bit.
02:26I feel like at that time, it was like,
02:28neither one of us really wanted to say
02:29that we were catching feelings
02:30because in the beginning, we were so adamant about, like,
02:33we are just chilling.
02:34Just chilling.
02:35Then we took a step back from each other for a little bit,
02:37because it was starting to get sticky, like you said.
02:38And then you said,
02:39I don't know what's stopping me from making my girlfriend.
02:42And I'm looking at you like,
02:43what would you think you got access like that?
02:45Like, I haven't talked to you in a whole month,
02:47and you think I'm just going to be like,
02:48yeah, I'll be your girlfriend.
02:49Yeah.
02:50Actually, yeah.
02:50Was I right?
02:51I mean, now, but...
02:54I think that that's what I love most about the fact
02:56that we even decided to take the next step
02:59because we didn't rush it.
03:00There was no pressure applied to it.
03:01Yeah, there was no pressure, no.
03:02I mean, there was after a while, but...
03:04Mm-hmm.
03:04...I think that it was necessary.
03:06My friends kind of knew about you.
03:08They were like, listen, you know you have feelings,
03:10so just, like, accept it and try to really pursue someone
03:13that, you know, seems like he cares.
03:15They really made me feel like I made the right decision
03:18in, like, pursuing it.
03:19It became evident that I was spending more and more time with you
03:23in less and less time with anyone else.
03:25Mm-hmm.
03:26In the beginning, I was very, very hard-headed.
03:29I was full of trauma.
03:31I had, like, relationship, PTSD.
03:33You name it, I had it.
03:35And I think as I got more comfortable with the partner that I have
03:39and just knowing how much you care about me
03:41and how much you wanted to be us versus the problem
03:44rather than us versus each other,
03:45I think it just made it easier for me to really grow as a person,
03:49as a girlfriend, and, like, as a woman, for real.
03:52For real.
03:53Three years is a long time.
03:56It's not that long when you think about it,
03:58but it feels like it's been forever.
04:00Mm-hmm.
04:00During that time, we got the opportunity
04:03to really, really learn...
04:05A lot.
04:05...what makes each other tick,
04:07the best way to handle adversity,
04:09what's the best way to celebrate accomplishments,
04:12what's the best way to give each other what each other desires.
04:16You made me feel comfortable in who I am
04:18and that I don't need to change who I am
04:20just to appease to you or the relationship or, you know, anything like that.
04:25Our growth speaks for itself
04:27because we're not just boyfriend and girlfriend.
04:29Like, we really consider each other partners.
04:32Mm-hmm.
04:32Like, enough for us to make real big-time life decisions together.
04:37Mm-hmm.
04:37Like, we uprooted.
04:39Right.
04:40We're talking about home ownership.
04:41We're talking about marriage.
04:42We're talking about families.
04:43We're talking about marriage.
04:44I don't know.
04:44We're talking about raising a family.
04:47We got a dog now.
04:48So, there's decisions that we have to make together.
04:51Mm-hmm.
04:51We're not always going to see eye to eye.
04:52And I think that we've been able to, for the most part,
04:56find a way to find a common ground on issues that we don't necessarily always have to see eye to
05:01eye.
05:01I think getting Ziggy helped us a lot, too,
05:03because I feel like, for me, I never really, ever, really, ever liked dogs.
05:06Mm-hmm.
05:07And it wasn't until, like, we knew that we were moving
05:10and you knew that you kind of, not caught all the shots,
05:13but that you'd be the man of the house that you knew.
05:15What the hell?
05:16You knew you, like, I want a dog, so we're going to get a dog,
05:20and you're going to learn to love the dog.
05:22That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
05:24No, you were picking dogs out.
05:26No, no.
05:27You wanted a huge dog.
05:28I said, let's compromise.
05:30All right, you're right.
05:31Vegas, we're coming back.
05:33Let's compromise and get a medium-sized dog.
05:35Having him definitely has helped me, like, emotionally, mentally.
05:39Like, just having someone outside of you being super excited for me to come home
05:43has helped just, like, lift my spirit.
05:45So maybe you saw further past what I could see when we chose to get him.
05:49Mm-hmm.
05:49But I love him.
05:51He loves my dog.
05:52He loves you.
05:55How does it feel to love a black man?
05:57I just feel so safe with you.
06:00You make me feel wanted.
06:01You make me feel loved, understood, heard.
06:04When I think of what I would want for my future husband to be,
06:07like, you fit every description.
06:09Damn.
06:09And you're handsome.
06:12I appreciate that.
06:13How does it feel to love a black woman?
06:15You definitely feel like home.
06:17You're definitely somebody that is like a breath of fresh air.
06:20It's like, you know, when you get to your house, you open the door after a long day,
06:24you close the door and you take that deep sigh because you're finally home.
06:29Mm-hmm.
06:29Like, every time I see you, it feels like that.
06:31Especially if we haven't seen each other for an extended period of time for any reason.
06:50Mm-hmm.
06:51Bro, you knew this already, though.
06:54I really love your personality.
06:56It's what drew me to you to begin with, and I love that it hasn't changed.
07:01I did not expect that.
07:03I was like, I'm gonna cry today.
07:04I was like, I'm gonna cry today.
07:04I was like, I'm gonna cry today.
07:04I'm gonna cry.
07:05Adios.
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