00:00You had all the great qualities that I want in a woman and the funny thing was that I kept
00:05trying to find something wrong with her.
00:11So, how did we meet?
00:14We actually met through a lie.
00:17Yeah, it was.
00:19My friend told me that you were interested in me.
00:25Mm-hmm.
00:26And your associate told you that I was interested in you and neither one was true.
00:33This is where you come in at because you hit me up on Instagram.
00:36Right.
00:36When I hit you up, I thought that you already knew who I was.
00:39And so, that's why I said, hey, you know, what's up?
00:42And you was kind of like, hi, you know, a little dry.
00:45I was.
00:46I thought you was trying to play hard to get.
00:49Like, you know, you're on a cat and mouse game.
00:52No.
00:52So, I'm like, hey, I'll play with her.
00:54That's what you want me to do.
00:55So, that's how I really thought.
00:56No.
00:57I was in a different space at that time because we met when, what, we were 38?
01:04By that time, I had done a lot of dating, you know?
01:07I was just a little more cautious.
01:09You wanted to go on, like, a real date.
01:12And I said, in order for us to go on a real date, I want you to read this book.
01:18Remember what book it was?
01:19The Coldest Winter Ever.
01:20Yep.
01:21And you finished it, but you finished it because you really liked it.
01:24I really liked it.
01:24And I knew you would like it.
01:25Yeah, I liked the book.
01:26Like, I would call you and you'd be like, I'm going to call you right back.
01:28I'm reading the book.
01:29And I'm like, well, damn, it wasn't supposed to happen like that.
01:32I saw how much you made me better and how you pushed me and how you was on me about
01:36certain
01:36things and how you, like, not tough love, but, like, you know, pick your head up, let's go.
01:42The thing is, too, and you say that I do, I give you the tough love, like, come on, pick
01:46your head up, let's go.
01:47And what I'm working on, because, of course, I'm not perfect, but what I'm working on is soft love, too.
01:53You know, because tough love is not the only thing that can push a person.
01:57Sometimes soft love helps, as well.
01:59You need those moments where you can just cry and be vulnerable.
02:02And I'm working on accepting that.
02:04My night is definitely an investment in our relationship.
02:08Us and different couples have open discussions about different relationship topics, problems that each other might deal with in a
02:15relationship.
02:16And the thing I really love about it is that nobody's biased.
02:19It's a safe space for everybody that's not judgmental, you know?
02:23Mm-hmm.
02:23We discuss stuff like being present with your mate and actively planning date nights.
02:29Yeah.
02:29How do you handle maybe exes from the past?
02:34And roles, too, as far as, like...
02:36Gender roles?
02:37Yeah, gender roles.
02:38We talk about gender roles and what do you expect from your partner?
02:42Refresh me, refresh you, and we just ready to take on another three months.
02:48Yep, right, until the next one.
02:50Until the next one, yeah.
02:53Well, a little moment that we done had probably was, like...
02:56Yeah, we got through it.
02:57When you had your miscarriage.
02:58Mm-hmm.
02:59I have never felt like that.
03:01I was really hurt.
03:02Mm-hmm.
03:02Like, I remember you asking, like, you all right?
03:05Mm-hmm.
03:05I'm like, no, I'm not okay.
03:07Mm-hmm.
03:07Like, it really had touched me for some reason.
03:09And I'm like, dang, like, because I knew you were happy, I was happy, and we had finally told our
03:15parents.
03:15Mm-hmm.
03:16Mm-hmm.
03:16And then to go in the doctor, and the doctor said, I'm sorry.
03:20Mm-hmm.
03:20No heart beating.
03:21Mm-hmm.
03:22I'm like, dang.
03:24I just felt like I lost.
03:25And that was a low moment, and we, I don't know how we got through it.
03:29We got through it together.
03:30Mm-hmm.
03:30Mm-hmm.
03:31And then, next thing you know, Cruz is here.
03:33Cruz is here.
03:34Yeah.
03:35I was pregnant and didn't know it when you proposed.
03:39I had Cruz inside of me and did not know it.
03:43Cruz was actually engaged for, like, 540 days.
03:46Something days.
03:47Uh-huh.
03:47Yeah, we were engaged for a minute.
03:48And I started the countdown.
03:49I could appreciate that because we had to, you know, basically get Cruz here, you know, and get him flourishing
03:56and everything.
03:56We have a wedding next week and a nine-month-old.
04:00Thank God we haven't had too many low moments.
04:03Yeah, we've had challenges, though, with me dealing with postpartum.
04:08Not, not really postpartum depression, but just postpartum.
04:11After having a baby, your body is trying to go back to, I would say, its normal state.
04:17Your hormones are trying to balance out again.
04:19And that takes you through a lot of up and down, up and down, up and down.
04:23We're, like, still in the midst of trying to deal with that, with my hormones regulating on top of planning
04:29a wedding.
04:30I think the best thing that we have been doing is just investing in us.
04:35If it's talking, if it's sitting on the porch and having a glass of wine.
04:39Or walking.
04:40We've been taking walks around the neighborhood.
04:42That really helps, you know, things like that.
04:46How does it feel to love a black man?
04:48It's a blessing to love a black man.
04:51It's a true blessing to love a black man, because I believe black men are king.
04:55They are amazing.
04:58How does it feel to love a black queen?
05:02It's power.
05:03You know what I'm saying?
05:03It's like a sense of power that you get, the love of a black queen.
05:07One thing I say about a black woman, she just keeps rolling with the punches.
05:10Which, it shouldn't be that way.
05:11You know, we should be helpmates and better each other, too.
05:15The love of a black queen is, like, so much honor and respect that I give them.
05:22And it's like a breath of fresh air.
05:26One of your strengths that I admire and I try to do every day is, you're a great listener.
05:33I want to do that.
05:34And you love to read.
05:36Like, I need to learn how to do that.
05:37I know how to read, of course.
05:39I ain't saying I know how to read, but I want to love it.
05:40You want to love it.
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