00:00And I mean, I won't, I'll say it because we're not arguing, but your gut is always right.
00:05Woo!
00:07Wow.
00:10I should take a picture of this moment.
00:12You know what? Leave me alone.
00:14Enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
00:22We've been together for 16 or 17 years. Sometimes we forget.
00:26It feels like six years though. Other times it feels like 40.
00:29Yeah.
00:32Jerk.
00:33So how did I meet you?
00:35Well, we had, we had mutual friends.
00:38And I knew of you, but I didn't know that we would have all of this.
00:43We were both in relationships and we became friends.
00:47And holy cow, did friendship ever turn into something else?
00:52I didn't know we would make it this far.
00:54It's funny, I remember there was a particular night at a club.
01:01And where we, we made out.
01:04It almost felt like a movie.
01:06And like, you know, you're making out, you're having a kiss, you're looking into each other's eyes.
01:10And then the kiss seemed to last forever.
01:12And then we opened our eyes.
01:13That might have also been a bit of liquid courage as well.
01:17Liquid courage.
01:17Yeah.
01:18And then they were like, it's time to go.
01:20Yeah.
01:21There was a flashlight in our face saying, hey guys, pack it up.
01:24Get a room.
01:27I feel like the years have gone by so quickly.
01:32So after that night on the rooftop at the club, I think the best way I can describe it is
01:39my brain exploded.
01:42Because of me.
01:44Because of you.
01:45It had been a bit of a build up.
01:47And then it's like, holy crap.
01:49I have to confront this the next day.
01:51I think the next day I just sort of sat there thinking.
01:55Like, it's not a fling.
01:56It's not, oh, you know, Jill, fun Jill.
02:00Oh yeah, Jill thinks girls are cute.
02:02Like, it wasn't a joke.
02:03This was real.
02:04I think for me, after the kiss, I wasn't sure.
02:10Yeah, you kissed me, right?
02:11Just so you know that.
02:12Let's just put that out there.
02:14Okay.
02:14Yeah.
02:15Did I kiss?
02:16Are you sure?
02:17Yeah, I remember that.
02:18Are you sure I kissed you?
02:18Yeah, you lunged.
02:20Are you sure?
02:20Okay, did you really?
02:21We were actually sitting this way.
02:23What else?
02:23Whatever.
02:24Well, oh.
02:26No, I...
02:27Stop.
02:29I was excited, but I was nervous, and I didn't know.
02:32Like, I didn't know.
02:33Like, I'm usually a private person, so it's not like I'm going to be like,
02:36ooh, I'm going to tell so-and-so.
02:37But I didn't know, I didn't know where I was going to go.
02:40I didn't know where I was going to go, and we took it really slow.
02:42And we were private, and I was nervous.
02:46It felt different than my previous relationships, and I didn't want to mess up.
02:50And you were patient with me.
02:52Our love story, it's not your typical love story.
02:55You know, it's also a story that was filled with loss of friends when I came out,
03:00when I admitted that it wasn't just some little cute sexy girl crush.
03:05It was a lot, having to deal with family.
03:07Oh my gosh, homophobia.
03:09Having to deal with friends, losing friends.
03:11Losing family.
03:13So it's not the classic, oh yeah, I met at the bus stop at having Tim Hortons.
03:17It's not that.
03:19Definitely not that.
03:20But it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.
03:23You're smart.
03:26I chose me first.
03:29And choosing me meant being true to myself.
03:34It meant pursuing whatever this wild friendship-turned love of my life was going to look like.
03:44You know, whether it was going to be a month, a year, a decade, nearly two decades.
03:51Choosing me meant choosing our journey.
03:54And I think you chose you first too.
03:56I think it was a bit from column A and a bit from column B.
04:01I chose myself, but it was better to try than not fail.
04:05And I didn't want to be one of those people that we've kind of talked about.
04:10Where you're like, oh yeah, I'm married to X, but I really want to be with this person.
04:16I've never wanted to call it quits.
04:18But I think one of our biggest obstacles, the difficult part of this love, has been family.
04:27Has been, you know, the ups and downs.
04:29I can tell you, I know you love holidays.
04:32And I love them too.
04:33But in the beginning of our relationship, I hated them.
04:38I hated them.
04:39And it's going to make me cry, but I hated them because I had to choose.
04:44I couldn't bring the people that I love the most in the world together.
04:49So instead of enjoying the occasion, it was like, okay, who am I not going to hurt?
04:55And who am I going to hurt?
04:57Obviously it's better now.
04:58It's not perfect because we are still working at it.
05:01But I am in a better place.
05:03And we're in a better place for that.
05:05I think I understand more.
05:07Because my family was me and my mom, for the most part.
05:11My mom was shocked, of course.
05:13And she had to get over her own internal wrestlings, you know, of being a religious woman.
05:20You know, and what that meant for her, what me coming out meant for her.
05:25You know, but after a year or so, she was good.
05:29You were patient.
05:31Hell, I don't even know if I could do that.
05:32You know, I wouldn't give me so much credit.
05:34I don't think it's that I was patient.
05:36I think it's that...
05:37What, you understood?
05:38I understood it.
05:39After a while, you know, once you put your ego out of the way of the equation,
05:44you then realize, oh shit, this is someone's family.
05:50That they've had all their life.
05:52Yes, you love me and that was never questioned.
05:54But you can't just uproot yourself overnight.
05:58If anything, I just used to feel sad for you.
06:02Because I saw the juggling and I know it was hard.
06:06What do you think my greatest strengths and weaknesses are?
06:10Gosh, that's a pretty loaded question.
06:14Like, do I want to sleep in the bed tonight or on the couch?
06:18I'm trying to figure out according to what I answer.
06:23Your biggest strength is how you show up for people who you care about.
06:27You are one of the most kind, generous people I know.
06:32Loving people I know.
06:34You've gotten better.
06:35So I'm going to put that caveat out there.
06:37But you weren't able to see your shine as much as myself and others would.
06:43Sometimes you don't need to tell.
06:44Sometimes you need to tell the right people.
06:45Yeah, that's true too.
06:46It's not the whole world it needs to know.
06:47No, that's true.
06:48Like, I know that, you know, social media, blah, blah, blah, toot our horn, blah.
06:51Yeah, yeah, we have to do that.
06:52But sometimes people just don't need to know.
06:55Well, another one of your weaknesses.
07:01You didn't think I was only just going to give you one, did you?
07:04God, I know you have them.
07:05I just can't think of it right now.
07:07It sucks.
07:08I'm going to start off with your weaknesses.
07:10You scamp.
07:12I think, well, no, no.
07:13I think the truth is your weakness sometimes with us at times is sometimes.
07:20Talk to the cat.
07:21Talk to the cat.
07:23Sometimes you think you're always right when you are not.
07:26Sometimes you don't like to listen.
07:29Sometimes you think that the more you talk is the more it's going to change my mind.
07:34It's not going to change my mind.
07:36I said what I said and I think what I think.
07:38But we come together and we compromise.
07:41But I think, I mean, you have improved.
07:43Your greatest strength.
07:44There's too many to list.
07:46I think your strength is being unapologetic.
07:49The same Jill that's here is the same Jill that you see at work.
07:54You don't apologize for who you are.
07:56You always go with your gut.
07:58If I feel a little insecure, I channel my inner Jill.
08:02Somebody that has always been there and that is there.
08:05But I channel, I channel you.
08:08And you know what's so funny?
08:10When I am at my most panicked, I channel you.
08:14Because I don't know how you do it, but you are so calm.
08:20I think if I had to give you advice is that, ah, you are everything that you need to be,
08:28honey.
08:29That you don't have to, you don't need external validation.
08:33You are everything that you need to be.
08:38That is the truth.
08:40Goodness gracious.
08:42Goodness gracious.
08:43But it is.
08:44How do you feel our relationship has changed since my last gig that started in 2018?
08:54I have a love-hate relationship.
08:57I love because it represents so much.
09:00So many people now see that they too belong in that space.
09:04Because of you and because of people that have come before you.
09:08But it takes up a lot of time.
09:11And it's not just a 9 to 5.
09:14It's a 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. to 12.
09:19To, I'm about to go to bed and you take up your phone and I'm like, nobody's messaging you right
09:23now.
09:23But they are.
09:24But they are.
09:25You have to check.
09:26I think we're more intentional with our time.
09:28Yes, we're more intentional.
09:30We're more intentional with our time.
09:31Since I got into, you know, office.
09:36Again, we're just very hyper aware of our surroundings.
09:38I think we have to be.
09:40You know, we are black.
09:42We are queer women.
09:43We live in a world that simply does not always cherish who we are.
09:50So we have to be very mindful of how we express our love sometimes in certain spaces.
09:57How does it feel, Aisha, to love a black woman?
10:00And I think there's no other way for me to love.
10:03I think it is magical.
10:06I think it is beautiful.
10:08It's like seeing yourself.
10:10I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
10:13I know that sounds cliche, but it's not for me.
10:15It's my truth.
10:16Loving you.
10:18Seeing you grow.
10:19Gosh.
10:20There are so many mornings when I look at you when you're sleeping.
10:24Sometimes I can just fall into your dimples.
10:28There are unique moments that I could not experience if not with you.
10:35And that's how it feels to love a black woman.
10:39It's beautiful.
10:39It's royalty.
10:41It is magical.
10:43It is our own unique love.
10:47I get to see your strength and your beauty and your vulnerability and your dreams and your hopes.
10:54You know what I mean?
10:54I get to see that every single day.
10:57Oh.
10:58We've been so lucky.
10:59You're so sweet.
11:00And the natural hurdle told me not to alone.
11:05Like that.
11:05Hello.
11:07OK.
11:09You know what I mean?
11:09So once again love, all of you may notice.
11:09Do you want to hear from these mental health effects in the full form?
11:09You are lucky.
11:09Do you worship the bar.
11:09Even the suscriboard, one of you.
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