00:00If my 15-year-old self saw myself at my doble quince, they'd be like, bitch, what the fuck?
00:16My name is Sidlali Celeste. I am also known as Sandinero, and I am having my doble quince this Friday.
00:26From the right, five, six, seven, eight, one, two, three, four, ooh, slow down, baby.
00:34It's the day before my doble quince, and we're here at my friend Amelia's house, who's choreographing El Baile Secreto,
00:41and we're just doing a little bit of practicing before the big day tomorrow.
00:45We've been rehearsing for like two weeks, but a total of like four times with our given schedule, so it's
00:53like it's not as much.
00:53time as I want to spend because I'm a perfectionist, but it's like, I think for the most part we
00:59have it all down.
01:0030 for me marks 15 years of being out as a queer person. 30 is also the year that I
01:08fully began transitioning.
01:10There's something to be said about celebrating these milestones, because if we learn anything, that's a lot of our queer
01:17ancestors and elders didn't make it this far.
01:20Five, six, seven, eight, out, in, one, two, three.
01:25I did tell my chambalana and dama to incorporate some sort of pastel in their look, and then in the
01:31invites, I said, just come in your best definition of drag, because drag is different for everyone.
01:38Period, that's it, that's it. You got it. Okay, bitch.
01:40I'm sweaty. I'm tired.
01:42I guess I think I have, like, those good nerves
01:44right before a big show,
01:45which is a good thing, because that means, for me,
01:47that's just a sign that I care about what I'm doing.
01:49I'm going to rest my feet.
01:50Tomorrow's going to be a long day in heels,
01:52and then I'll see you tomorrow.
01:54Una, dos, tres, sorpresa!
02:11I am a first-generation child of immigrant parents,
02:16oldest of three siblings.
02:18My mom found the church and found God,
02:21and we converted to Pentecostal Christian.
02:24It was a pretty sheltered upbringing.
02:27Like, I was not allowed to listen to secular music.
02:31Everything I did was policed and controlled.
02:33And it was, like, around 13 that I really started
02:35having to come to terms with, like, my feelings
02:38that weren't normal at that time.
02:42And in high school, just, like, battling them
02:44and, like, saying no to them.
02:46Until one day, in the middle of a sermon,
02:48the pastor, in front of the entire congregation,
02:52outed me and, like, told everyone to, like,
02:54put their hands on me and prayed for me.
02:55That was my joker moment.
02:57That was literally the moment where I was like,
02:59this is fucking stupid.
03:02Why am I living this way?
03:04And I was like, you know what? I'm gay.
03:08All right, well, I got my wig cap on and my hair prepped,
03:11so now it's time to get ready and get into drag.
03:15So it's primarily a fundraiser for two creative projects
03:20I have going, Drag Me To Life, which is a drag incubator,
03:23and the Front Porch Oracles, which is a performance collective.
03:27I'm going for, like, my signature look that I usually do.
03:29I'm gonna go for, like, a little cunty pastel moment
03:35in the eyes.
03:37Austin Dinero is, I would say,
03:40an important part of my identity.
03:42She is a character, but at the same time, she is me.
03:45And I think she basically moves my spiritual practice
03:49and art practice in a way that has allowed me room
03:53to explore that femininity that I couldn't explore before,
03:56that gives me room to imagine those worlds
03:59where I want to live and how I want to treat others.
04:01I think the ritual of putting on that makeup is, like, armor.
04:06When I'm her, I know my boundaries.
04:08I can say, no, I have my power.
04:11I feel protected.
04:13And from there, allowing her to basically be a blueprint
04:16for who I want to be.
04:18It's starting to surge through my body.
04:21It's definitely starting to feel it more and more.
04:24I think as I put on my lashes and the last finishing touches,
04:28I think I'll definitely, I'll be a completely different person
04:31when you see me at the venue, basically.
04:36There's, like, this religious Christian ceremony to most quince's
04:41where there's, like, an hour-long service that you all go to
04:44and then there's, like, a ceremony to dignify yourself
04:47as, like, a woman where you were, like, a girl when this first started.
04:51When planning my double quince, something felt right
04:55that I had to have, like, a ceremony for it,
04:57but I didn't want it to be, like, a Christian ceremony.
05:02I brainstormed, like, what can I do that's ritualistic
05:05and ceremonial but still honors where I'm at now?
05:18So when I told Victor about wanting to incorporate that,
05:22they were, like, oh, perfect.
05:23We can do a ceremony for you.
05:25And I had no idea what it was going to be,
05:27but I just knew, like, their practices
05:29are very much rooted in indigenous practices.
05:31This comes from the tradition of Mexica.
05:34This is something that I've learned in the Mexica dance,
05:37a tradition that I follow,
05:39and it is also something that I learned from my grandmother.
05:56As someone trying to also reconcile my indigenous ancestors
06:00and trying to honor that part of myself.
06:12It felt right.
06:13It felt like this is where I'm supposed to be in this time.
06:16It just felt aligned with who I am becoming.
06:20Me, myself, my family, my community will have love.
06:25Me, myself, my family, my community will have joy.
06:30And me, myself, my family, my community will have abundance.
06:44A way to honor and close your 20s or close any cycle
06:48is to be in community and with ritual and with intention.
06:52I think it's beautiful to see a lot of queer folks,
06:56trans folks reclaiming that and celebrating it
06:59in a way that's ours.
07:03Another key element of most quinces is the baile sorpresa,
07:07one of the most iconic parts of the night.
07:09It just really show that transition from, like, a niña
07:11to, like, real, like, their womanhood,
07:14which I think is what quinceañeras are about,
07:16like, that transition.
07:17But I wanted to include a baile sorpresa
07:18because, A, I just want that spotlight,
07:20and, two, I'm not a dancer.
07:22I just want to push myself out of my comfort zone
07:24because it's, like, if I'm going to do anything
07:27on my 30th birthday is bring in that energy to learn new things
07:31and be comfortable with things I'm not used to.
07:34If there's anything I want whoever watches this
07:37to take something out of,
07:38I think it's just to, like, celebrate yourself,
07:41let yourself be seen, let yourself be heard.
07:43I think everyone deserves that.
07:45Pay attention to your inner child,
07:47and if your inner child says,
07:48I wish I had a quince, just throw that doble quince.
07:50Create the world that you want to create,
07:52and hopefully through there,
07:53you'll trickle your values onto others,
07:56and then you'll be surrounded by the community
07:58and the world that you want to be seen in and live in.
08:02Any celebration is worth you.
Comments