00:00.
00:26Steve?
00:27Oh, my God.
00:41Steve?
00:42Harriet.
00:43Harriet.
00:44No, Carl, it's a weeknight.
00:51Harriet, wake up.
00:53What?
00:54Harriet!
00:55Steve Urkel just walked into our bedroom
00:57and bopped me on the head with the newspaper.
01:01Carl, you're dreaming.
01:03Go back to sleep.
01:04But Harriet...
01:05Carl, I need eight hours of sleep
01:07and I need them in a row.
01:08Go back to sleep.
01:46Harriet.
01:47Harriet.
01:49Harriet.
01:49Harriet.
01:51Will you stop hitting me?
01:52I'm born asleep, Carl.
01:54Harriet, look.
02:13Now do you believe me?
02:16Steve?
02:21I'm gonna kill that kid.
02:22Carl, Carl, Carl.
02:23Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
02:25I think he's sleepwalking.
02:26Really?
02:31Steve?
02:34Carl, Carl, Carl, don't.
02:37It's dangerous to wake a sleepwalker.
02:39Oh, no problem.
02:40I think that I could kill him
02:42without waking him up.
02:44You don't mean that.
02:45Oh, yes, I do.
02:49See the plans.
02:51This kid...
02:52Wait, oh!
02:54Let me go!
02:55Let me go!
02:56Let me go!
02:57Let me go!
02:57Let me go!
03:08It's a rare condition
03:10This day and age
03:12To read any good news
03:14On the newspaper page
03:16And love and tradition
03:17Of the grand design
03:19Some people say
03:20It's even harder to find
03:23Well, then there must be
03:25Some magic clue
03:27Inside these gentle walls
03:31Cause all I see
03:32Is a tower of dreams
03:34Real love bursting
03:36After every scene
03:39As days go by
03:42We're gonna fill our house
03:45With happiness
03:46The moon may dry
03:49But we'll smother the blues
03:51With tenderness
03:53As days go by
03:56There's room for you
03:58Room for me
04:00For gentle hearts
04:02And opportunity
04:03It stays go by
04:07It's the bigger love
04:09Of the family
04:36What's the matter, big guy?
04:38I just wanted to give you your paper.
04:42Steve, late last night you walked into our bedroom.
04:46In your hand was a rolled-up newspaper, and you repeatedly hit Carl over the head with
04:52it.
04:53Let me get this straight.
04:58I walked into your bedroom in the middle of the night.
05:01That's right.
05:02With a rolled-up newspaper.
05:04That's right.
05:05And did this.
05:09That's right.
05:11Oh, poppycock.
05:14Why am I fast the father of the woman I love?
05:18Touching.
05:18Sorry.
05:22Steve, you were sleepwalking.
05:24Hmm.
05:26Well, that might explain why I woke up this morning in the dairy case at the 7-Eleven.
05:33Well, apparently I require professional help from a qualified therapist.
05:39Carl, I'm really sorry.
05:41I had absolutely no idea I was doing this.
06:02How much longer are they going to be in that kitchen?
06:04As long as it takes, Carl.
06:06Chill out.
06:09Dr. Goodrich said that he can't put Steve under hypnosis until he gets some sense of
06:13his psychological makeup.
06:15Huh.
06:16That's easy.
06:17The kid is nutso.
06:19Oh, Carl.
06:20Dr. Goodrich was nice enough to come over here, so let's just leave the diagnosis up
06:24to him.
06:24After all, he is one of the most brilliant and highly respected therapists in the country.
06:28He will definitely be able to help Steve.
06:30And then, when I was seven, I started stealing candy bars.
06:39Of course.
06:40You were compensating for a lack of attention from your mother.
06:43A cry for help.
06:44Yes.
06:45And as you growled her, it manifested in other ways.
06:47And that would explain your compulsion for nude skydiving.
06:54Yes.
06:56Oh, yes.
07:01We're ready now.
07:04Steve, if you'll take a seat, we'll put you under hypnosis.
07:07All righty.
07:09Doctor, can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings?
07:13Yes, Crawford.
07:14I am a medical doctor, not a carnival act.
07:19He's not going to make him quack.
07:24Ready, Steve?
07:25Give it your best shot.
07:27But I've got to warn you, you won't be able to hypnotize me.
07:30Oh?
07:31Oh, yes.
07:32I'm far too intelligent to fall for the old keep your eye on the watch routine.
07:36Actually, the higher the intelligence, the easier it is to be hypnotized.
07:40Ah, so you say, but don't.
07:49Now, Steve.
07:50Hmm?
07:51You are sitting in a chair in the Winslow living room.
07:55Oh.
07:55You're here with wonderful friends.
08:00Hi, sugar.
08:02Estelle, my belle.
08:06Hi, Steve.
08:08Rachel.
08:09The world's most beautiful boss.
08:15Hi, Steve.
08:22Mm, interesting.
08:25Steve, it's me, Carl.
08:30Big guy.
08:34Doc, I think he's mad at me.
08:41Well, yes.
08:42The question is, why?
08:43Steve, why are you angry at Carl?
08:47Because he hates me.
08:49And he wants me to move away and never come back.
09:08Is he making this up?
09:10Oh, no.
09:11Most people under hypnosis don't lie.
09:14But I never told Steve that I hate him.
09:18Well, he got that idea somehow.
09:20Can you find out what happened?
09:22We can try.
09:24Steve, I want you to go back in time.
09:27Do you understand?
09:28Yes.
09:31I'm...
09:32I'm being born.
09:37My head pops out.
09:41I can see my dad.
09:44Whoa, I'm being pushed back in.
09:57Steve.
09:58Steve.
10:00Steve.
10:01Steve.
10:02Steve.
10:02You went too far back.
10:05Go back to the time when you felt angry at Carl Winslow.
10:13It was about a month ago.
10:17A couple of hours before the costume party.
10:21Costume party.
10:24Costume party.
10:31Laura, I'm Maxine's parents chaperoning this party tonight.
10:35Oh, no, Mom.
10:35They're out of town.
10:36But don't worry.
10:37Three kids are dressing up as responsible adults.
10:41I'm just kidding, Mom.
10:43Max's parents will be there.
10:44Good.
10:45And if I were you, I wouldn't tease me while I'm holding a needle.
10:51Yes!
10:53What is it, Dad?
10:54I finally finished my clipper ship.
10:56It took me four and a half months to do it, but I finally did it.
11:00Oh.
11:03Oh?
11:05That's all you can say?
11:06Uh, uh, it's nice, Daddy.
11:10Hear ye! Hear ye!
11:12Make way of, for sure, Steve, the Earl of Urkel.
11:20Giddy up! Giddy up!
11:29Hail Winslow!
11:31Well met.
11:33Cute horse.
11:34Get it out.
11:36Oh, very well.
11:53Giddy up!
11:54Oh!
11:57Giddy up!
11:57Fires!
11:58Hey, Sheriff Winifred, it's well-fanned.
12:02Come on, horsey. Giddy up! Giddy up!
12:04No! Giddy out! Giddy out!
12:08Ooh!
12:09Oh, boss boat, big guy.
12:10Oh, look out.
12:10Thank you very much.
12:11Stay away from it.
12:15M'lady, thy beauty doth stun me.
12:22Though bards wobble praises of thy loveliness,
12:25truly they doth not doest thee justice.
12:30Okay, who told you about the party?
12:33Freddy Mama.
12:34What? He swore he wouldn't tell.
12:36Oh, come on. He'd sell his sister for a Mars bar.
12:43Steve, I'm not going to the party with you.
12:45Well, okay. I'll meet you there.
12:48But hey, save a dance for me.
12:57Hey, where's my lamp?
13:03Oh!
13:05Ah!
13:23Oh, did I do that?
13:29I-I'm really sorry, Carl.
13:32Yeah!
13:36Steve?
13:39I'm very upset right now.
13:42So I think that you just better leave.
13:44Okay?
13:45Oh, yes.
13:46Mm-hmm.
13:47Yes.
13:47Mm-hmm.
13:54Mm-hmm.
13:55Would you look?
13:59Pieces, my boat, my poor little boat.
14:01Can you fix it, Dale?
14:03No.
14:05Four and a half months of work, and now this is junk.
14:11You know, I hate that kid.
14:15I-I wish he would just move away and never, never come back.
14:21Yeah.
14:33Oh, well, hey, I was upset.
14:37I mean, I worked hard on that clipper ship.
14:39And I didn't even realize he was in the room when I said it.
14:42Well, he was.
14:44And it hurt him.
14:45Way to go, Carl.
14:50Steve, when I snap my fingers, you will awaken.
14:53You will remember everything you told us.
14:55You will no longer sleepwalk because you will no longer be suppressing painful memories.
15:00Three, two, one.
15:04Darn, I could never do that.
15:09See, I told you, Doc, you just can't hypnotize me.
15:13I'm afraid I did, Steve.
15:15Do you remember what Carl said the night of the costume party?
15:22Hmm.
15:25I most certainly do.
15:31Oh, God.
15:40Oh, wait a minute.
15:41Oh, Harriet, if...
15:43Well, where are you guys going?
15:45I'm going to check your birth certificate and make sure you're really my son.
15:56Gee, Doc.
15:58Everybody's mad at me.
15:59A normal psychological reaction.
16:02But I feel terrible about it.
16:05Normal as well.
16:06Well, what I owe you, Doc?
16:08Forget it.
16:09I wouldn't touch your filthy money.
16:23Yeah.
16:24Okay, see you soon.
16:25Bye now.
16:27Good news, Harriet.
16:28I just talked to Steve.
16:30Did you apologize?
16:31Even better.
16:32I asked him to come over so I could apologize face to face.
16:35That's more like it.
16:36Yep.
16:37I'll just tell Steve that I don't really hate him.
16:39In fact, I'll tell him how terrific I think he is.
16:41You know, lay it on real thick.
16:49Hello, Harriet.
16:51Sergeant Winslow.
16:53What is that?
16:55My polygraph.
16:57You brought a lie detector?
17:00Correct.
17:02Why?
17:04Oh, come on.
17:07Who do I look like?
17:09Herbie the Hick?
17:12Why, it would be easy for you to say that you don't hate me.
17:16Why, you could even say I'm terrific.
17:18You know, lay it on real thick.
17:23Oh, I wouldn't do that.
17:25Well, my little buddy here is going to make sure that you don't.
17:30Oh, okay.
17:32Let's get this over with.
17:36Now, Carl, it's only fair to warn you that I have improved this particular polygraph.
17:43What do you mean, improved?
17:45I've adjusted it so that every time you tell a lie, you'll receive a slight electric shock.
17:55Forget it.
17:57Well, what's the matter, Carl?
17:59You'll be fine as long as you tell the truth.
18:02No fibby, no shanky.
18:05That's right.
18:06You don't have anything to hide, do you, Carl?
18:10Okay, okay.
18:13Well, go ahead.
18:15Carl Winslow is an honest man.
18:18Okay.
18:20Here we go.
18:30Is Carl Winslow your real name?
18:33Yes, it is.
18:35Are you happily married?
18:41Yes, I am.
18:46How old are you?
18:4735.
18:53Uh, uh, uh, 38.
18:5538, I'm 38.
18:56All right.
18:57Now you know I mean business.
19:03Now, let's get to the heart of the matter.
19:06Carl Winslow, do you hate me?
19:15No.
19:17Well, are you crazy about me?
19:19Sure.
19:25Well, do you like me a lot?
19:27Absolutely.
19:33Well, do you even care about me at all?
19:38Yes, I do.
19:40Hey, what happened?
19:42It was working great.
19:46Steve, your machine is not broken.
19:49I really do care about you.
19:52I really do care about you.
19:52Yeah?
19:54Yeah.
19:56Look, let's talk for a moment.
19:59When you smashed my ship, I flipped out.
20:03I said what I said out of anger.
20:06Now, that doesn't excuse it, but I hope it explains it.
20:12You know the saying, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
20:17Sure.
20:18Well, it's wrong.
20:20Words do hurt.
20:22They sure do.
20:25You know, when I was your age, I was a tad overweight.
20:41Okay, I was fat, okay?
20:48But, uh, a lot of mean kids said some really mean things that hurt a lot.
20:57Yeah.
21:02Steve, when I said that I hated you, I said it out of anger, and I honestly did not mean
21:10it, and I'm sorry.
21:15Apology accepted.
21:17Thanks, big guy.
21:26Well, Harriet, everything worked out just fine.
21:29I'm glad.
21:31So, Carl, how many women were you serious about before me?
21:38None, dear.
21:44Uh, three.
21:47Steve, get these things off of me!
21:49Oh, come on, Carl.
21:51How many?
21:51Uh, uh, 12.
21:53Oh!
21:54Oh, for God's sake, man, tell me the truth!
21:57Oh!
21:58Hurry up!
21:59Oh, come on, aha!
22:01Ah!
22:02Ah!
22:04Oh!
22:07Oh!
22:10Oh!
22:11Oh!
22:14Oh!
22:17Oh!
22:24Oh!
22:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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