- 4 days ago
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00:08I don't know this all right now listen you go upstairs and wash your faces we
00:20don't have to have this cowboy party on Saturday no I'll get my scissors and
00:24cut your birthday right out of the calendar oh come on maybe this is a
00:31bourbon salesman
00:38you know you're early the birthday parties not for two days no I know I came today
00:43because I wanted to talk to you okay but why didn't you call your father and I
00:47have separated I saw you drive up was I given the wrong day for the party what
01:02what's going on did I miss something I think I missed something it's it's okay
01:28what are you talking about what do you mean you've separated well I don't suppose
01:33it's any secret that your father and I have had our problems we even tried that
01:38marriage counseling thing in New Jersey okay wait a minute one week of
01:42counseling and this is what you come up with this is how you work things out oh
01:45honey this can't be a complete surprise you know we were never truly compatible
01:51and New Jersey actually made us see that oh yeah that's right New Jersey the just
01:57give up state well it was 41 years so you can't say we didn't give it a shot now
02:04please don't be upset because I'm not really I feel wonderful and free
02:12you're unbelievable and what about dad well he's fine too and we'll stay close we'll probably be better
02:20friends than before and you know Pat and Cyril went through this and they're much happier now they share
02:26custody of the dogs this is just like you know your hip and trendy lifestyle it's chic to get
02:37separated now so that's what you do instead of putting any effort oh come on Debra now
02:41that's not fair it's been nothing but effort and I have tried you have never
02:46tried anything for longer than it was on a magazine cover
03:00Marie
03:03hello
03:12hi Lois
03:16I uh I was looking for Marie oh yeah for me just the opposite
03:27juice no thank you would you mind if I just hung out here for a bit
03:43nothing's going on
03:47what are you put on some clothes with company in the house what company she's family hey there's
03:54nothing here she ain't seen on Warren am I wrong hey where is Warren Abu Dhabi or something it could
04:02be that's why I came over I want to tell you that Warren and I are splitting up
04:15I'll put pants on
04:23you poor dear no no it's okay Marie it's okay he's leaving you no it's completely mutual we're both quite
04:35happy honestly you don't have to pretend with me you can tell me all the awful details please
04:45no not those pants they go to goodwill hey I love these pants who the hell are you to give
04:50them to goodwill
04:51there are holes in the seat you worn through them then you can't give them to goodwill that's bad will
04:57there are other pants in the dryer put on one of those
05:00no these are the pants you are not wearing those pants Frank you're just like an animal
05:05animals don't even like pants you did that on purpose oh I did not you're the animal
05:19go on dude
05:23well it's it's really very simple it's been over 40 years and we needed a change
05:31you don't seem very upset well actually I'm more upset and surprised that Deborah seems so upset
05:39well I must say I I completely understand Deborah here I mean I I was brought up to consider it
05:46a sin to
05:49and here you are talking about it so casually how long have you and Warren been separated about two weeks
06:09hey cheese doodle oh I ordered a moon bounce for the kids party Saturday it's a corral goes
06:18with your whole cowboy theme they said you gotta be under 80 pounds to jump in there but screw that
06:23guy I'm going in
06:30um listen Ray what I have to tell you something yeah it's pretty big oh boy my parents have separated
06:53they're on the path to divorce
07:02it was just it's one of those moments you know it's too serious or something
07:06just I wasn't ready for it this is terrible
07:27there's nothing funny here this is awful it's awful you know what it is it's just it's the way that
07:32you
07:32said it they're on the path to divorce I'm not smiling I didn't smile I'm not smiling you know it
07:38is I just
07:38it's the image I have I pictured that there was a path in the forest with like one of those
07:42wooden
07:42signs divorce this way and I don't know what like three little pigs this way and then your face when
07:50you said it it was just a little serious that's all no I think I had too much fun at
07:57work today
07:58that's what it is you don't have in the vending machine the door to the vending machine was it was
08:02broken see and free candy these are my favorites Twix
08:22oh
09:25Hey, hungry?
09:29You know, if you're interested, I got a little candy left upstairs.
09:44It's okay. I got my candy.
09:50What happened to your parents?
09:53Why? You want another good laugh?
09:57I didn't laugh.
09:58I'm sorry.
09:59I'm sorry. Come on. I'm sorry about your parents.
10:02It's very bad.
10:10I'm sorry. All right. We have to talk about this.
10:13I want to talk about this with you.
10:16Come on. We have to discuss this.
10:19So, your parents.
10:21Boy.
10:25Go ahead.
10:27Well, I don't...
10:27What do you say?
10:29I'm sorry.
10:32But, I mean,
10:33I have to say this.
10:35I think everybody could have seen this coming,
10:38right? I mean,
10:39remember Thanksgiving?
10:40How they yelled?
10:41It was terrible.
10:43I had a hard time finishing my pie.
10:47I know they had problems, Ray.
10:50Okay, so then why are you so surprised?
10:51Because they're my parents.
10:53They're splitting up.
10:55What I can't believe is that
10:56they're the ones getting a divorce.
10:57It should be your parents.
11:05I don't think that's a particularly nice thing to say.
11:08I'm sorry.
11:08I think someone's awfully competitive.
11:10Right. I'm sorry.
11:13No, that's fine.
11:15Say what you want about my parents.
11:17You usually do.
11:20But,
11:21I will say this.
11:22Maybe,
11:24maybe your parents are splitting up
11:26because they kept everything inside
11:27for so long
11:29that they finally just exploded.
11:32Like when you put a pudding cup
11:34in the microwave.
11:39Which was not me, by the way.
11:44So this doesn't worry you?
11:47What?
11:48What about us?
11:50What do you mean?
11:53What if we're headed that way?
11:55I keep a lot of stuff inside, too.
11:59No, you don't.
12:02I drop a sock on the floor,
12:03you scream like a horror movie.
12:11There's plenty more I keep inside,
12:13believe me.
12:15There can't be a lot left in there.
12:20I hate my mother.
12:22Oh, no, you don't.
12:23How do you know this is your mother's fault?
12:25Oh, it's her fault.
12:26She's so...
12:29Why is she doing this?
12:31I mean,
12:32my parents being together,
12:34I mean, I have counted on that
12:36my whole life.
12:38Through school and college
12:39and then struggling after college
12:41and, you know,
12:42when I didn't know what I was doing
12:43or where I was going,
12:44at least I had...
12:46their marriage was like a rock.
12:49The one solid rock for me.
12:53Oh?
12:54Well, maybe it was more like a stone.
12:57Huh?
12:59And now it has passed.
13:08That's enough.
13:09What?
13:09What did I do?
13:09No, just enough.
13:10You can't have a real conversation.
13:12You've got to be funny, idiot.
13:14Wasn't that funny?
13:15Hey, no, come on.
13:16Look, I'm trying to be understanding here, okay?
13:18I'm not the one who said idiot.
13:19All right?
13:20But I'm willing to overlook it
13:21because I understand.
13:24You're the child of a broken home.
13:40Oh, hi.
13:43Oh, hi.
13:47Allie's kerchief tour.
13:49Yeah?
13:52Well, she needs another one
13:54to go with her cowgirl ensemble.
13:58Okay, I'll get it.
14:00Deborah, wait.
14:02What?
14:03Oh, I don't know.
14:04I was just hoping that maybe
14:06you could have tried to come to terms
14:09with the situation over the last couple of days.
14:11No, I'm fine, Mom.
14:12But thanks for the couple of days
14:14to come to terms with it.
14:17I got to get that kerchief.
14:21Leave me alone!
14:25Come on!
14:27We said it before.
14:29I'm the bad guy.
14:30You said that.
14:30I did not agree to that.
14:32Well, there can't be two bad guys, okay?
14:34That doesn't make sense.
14:35Look, I want to be the bad guy, Raymond, okay?
14:37I'm always a good guy.
14:38I'm a cop.
14:41It's monotonous.
14:44Listen, I bought the mustache.
14:46Yeah, well, it's my kid's party, okay?
14:48And they all hate the good guys.
14:49So you could use a little hate.
14:52You know what?
14:57It's rotten Raymond!
15:02He's so funny.
15:04Yeah, he's a pip.
15:13Listen, I was sorry to hear about you and Warren.
15:18I've been there.
15:21Well, that's right.
15:23What was your wife's name again?
15:25Joanne.
15:26She was actually quite horrible.
15:30Right.
15:31I remember.
15:33Hey, just so you know,
15:34it gets better as time passes.
15:36You know?
15:38Thank you, Robert.
15:40Actually, we're pretty okay with it now.
15:44Yeah.
15:45So was Joanne.
15:47She had a party.
15:50Oh?
15:51At her old strip club.
15:54All her friends were there.
15:56Satin.
15:58Bubbles.
15:59Lick, lick.
16:01Lick, lick.
16:12People make mistakes.
16:16I would say she's the one that made the mistake.
16:36Oh, listen.
16:37Oh, oh, oh, no, no.
16:38See, I was just trying to be consoled.
16:40No, good luck to you.
16:41No, no, I didn't mean...
16:42Good luck to you!
16:44Good luck to you!
16:54Damn, stupid, damn friggin' thing.
16:57Debra?
17:01Your mom said you were up here.
17:05Hi, Dad.
17:13I can't find a kerchief.
17:23What are you doing here?
17:27Well, the invitation said round him up birthday party.
17:30It promised a rootin' tootin' time.
17:33I'm so sorry, Dad.
17:36Yeah, me too.
17:37I'm sorry she's doing this to you.
17:39What do you mean?
17:40I know how she is.
17:47Here, sit down.
17:51This is not your mother's fault.
17:53Don't you defend her.
17:54Listen to me.
17:56We have both been unhappy for some time.
18:00Now, you know that.
18:01All right, but you're the one who at least tries to make an effort,
18:03like wanting to go to that marriage counseling.
18:06Can I tell you something?
18:07I never really wanted to go to New Jersey.
18:09You want to know why I picked that place?
18:11Because I was looking forward to how much your mother would hate it.
18:18Well, she loved it,
18:19and I was the one bored out of my freakin' skull.
18:23Those workshops.
18:25Polishing your soulmate's soul.
18:30So, you really mustn't blame your mother, honey.
18:32I'm the one who actually said it was over.
18:37I don't believe it.
18:39It's true.
18:41And what did she say?
18:44Well, she knew.
18:46We both knew.
18:52Don't cry, honey.
18:54I can't help it.
18:56I mean, why the hell do you take vows if they don't mean anything?
19:01We meant it then.
19:03We meant it when you were kids.
19:07But when your sister and then you went off to college,
19:11it kept getting harder.
19:13What about all the kissing and the traveling together
19:17and the Pookums one and two license plates?
19:20What was that?
19:22I know.
19:24I know.
19:24Well, I guess
19:27by the end,
19:28most of that was just
19:30a show.
19:33And we had enough.
19:35We both had enough.
19:42It's not like Ray's parents.
19:47What?
19:48They seem to have the secret.
19:51What?
19:55They know how to do it.
19:57It's not a facade for them.
19:59But they're maniacs.
20:04Yes, but they're honest with each other.
20:08Everything's out in the open with them.
20:10Eggs, Marie, and hold a chatter.
20:13I love that.
20:17I'll tell you,
20:18they're the ones who ought to be giving the seminar.
20:49They're the ones who ought to be giving the seminar.
20:50Howdy.
20:53Would you take that off, please?
20:56Yes, ma'am.
21:10You want any better?
21:12I guess.
21:17Sorry about your parents.
21:20I know.
21:23But, you know, that's not us.
21:28Because I think we kind of get everything out in the open.
21:40Tighter.
21:46Tighter.
21:54You want me to put on the mustache?
21:56I'm going to put on the mustache.
21:58I'm going to put on the mustache.
22:04I'm going to put on the mustache.
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