- 1 day ago
- #johncleese
- #fawltytowers
- #bbc
#johncleese #fawltytowers #bbc https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5domZkB-eRa6BuFOO8OXaQ
A Touch of Class: Basil is delighted when a member of the aristocracy chooses to stay at the Fawlty Towers, snubbing the normal guests who frequent the hotel. What Basil does not know, however, is that the man is not a Lord but a confidence trickster who attempts to steal his collection of rare coins. As Basil's desperation to keep such an 'upstanding' guest increases, he becomes increasingly tolerant towards the man's behavior, only to have the guest arrested in a police raid on the hotel.
Starring: John Cleese, Prunella Scales, Andrew Sachs, Connie Booth
A Touch of Class: Basil is delighted when a member of the aristocracy chooses to stay at the Fawlty Towers, snubbing the normal guests who frequent the hotel. What Basil does not know, however, is that the man is not a Lord but a confidence trickster who attempts to steal his collection of rare coins. As Basil's desperation to keep such an 'upstanding' guest increases, he becomes increasingly tolerant towards the man's behavior, only to have the guest arrested in a police raid on the hotel.
Starring: John Cleese, Prunella Scales, Andrew Sachs, Connie Booth
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The End
00:24One double room without Bath, the 16th, 17th and 18th.
00:27Yes, and if you be so good as to confirm by letter,
00:29thank you so much.
00:31Goodbye.
00:32Have you made up the bill for room 12, Basil?
00:33No, I haven't yet, no.
00:34Well, they're in a hurry.
00:35Polly says they didn't get their alarm call.
00:38And, Basil, please get that picture up. It's been there for a week.
00:41It's been there since Monday, Sybil.
00:42Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
00:44Good morning.
00:45Friday...
00:52Manuel, there is too much butter on those trays.
00:57There is too much butter on those trays.
01:01No, no, no, senor.
01:02What?
01:03Not on those trays.
01:05No, sir.
01:06Uno, dos, tres.
01:08No, dos, tres.
01:10No, hay mucho burro ali.
01:13Okay?
01:14Hay mucho burro ali.
01:16Ah, mantequilla.
01:17What?
01:18Okay?
01:19Mantequilla. Burro is...
01:20Is...
01:21Is...
01:22E o.
01:23Burro.
01:24Burro.
01:25E o.
01:26E o.
01:27Manuel, por favor, momento.
01:28Si, si, si.
01:29I...
01:30Nothing, dear.
01:31I'm just dealing with it.
01:32He's speak good, how you say.
01:34English.
01:35Mantequilla.
01:36Solamente dos.
01:38Dos.
01:39Dos.
01:40Well, don't look at me.
01:41You're the one who's supposed to be able to speak it.
01:43Don't.
01:44Two pieces.
01:45Two each.
01:46Arriba, arriba.
01:49I don't know why you wanted to hire him, Basil.
01:51Because he's cheap and keen to learn, dear.
01:53And in this day and age...
01:55But why did you say you could speak the language?
01:57I learned classical Spanish, not the strange dialect he seems to have picked up.
02:00Be quicker.
02:01Be quicker to train a monkey.
02:03Morning, Miss Gatsby.
02:04Morning, Miss Tibbs.
02:05Good morning.
02:06Good morning.
02:07Good morning.
02:10Basil.
02:11Yes, dear?
02:12Are you going to hang the picture?
02:13Yes, I am, dear.
02:14Yes, yes.
02:15When?
02:16Well, when I've...
02:17Well, why don't you do it now?
02:18Well, I'm doing this, dear.
02:19I'm doing the menu.
02:20Well, you've got all morning to do the menu.
02:21Why don't you hang the picture now?
02:22Well?
02:23Yes, all right.
02:24I won't do the menu.
02:25I don't think you realise how long it takes to do the menu.
02:27But no, it doesn't matter.
02:28I'll hang the picture now.
02:29If the menus are late for lunch, it doesn't matter.
02:30The guests can all come and look at the picture until they are ready, right?
02:34Lower.
02:37Lower.
02:38Up a bit.
02:40Thank you, dear.
02:41Thank you so much.
02:42I don't know where I'd be without you.
02:44Land of the living, probably.
02:50Yes?
02:52Could we have our bill, please?
02:54Well, can you wait a minute?
02:55Well, I'm afraid we're a bit late for our train.
02:57We didn't get our alarm call.
02:59Right!
03:01Paris, I'm a tribe, you know.
03:03We do have staff problems.
03:04I'm so sorry it's not all done by magic.
03:06Basil, are you doing the menu?
03:07No, I'm not doing the menu, dear.
03:08I'm doing the bill for these charming people who are in a hurry.
03:11I'm sorry to cause all this trouble,
03:13but the reason we're late is we didn't get our alarm call.
03:15Oh, dear, I am sorry.
03:17Basil, why didn't they get their alarm call?
03:19Because I forgot.
03:20I am so sorry I am not perfect.
03:24There you are.
03:25There's the bill.
03:26Perhaps you'll pay my wife.
03:27I have to put the picture up.
03:28There aren't any dustbins to be cleaned out.
03:30Newspapers!
03:31Good-bye.
03:32See you again.
03:33Don't forget the picture, Basil.
03:34I won't, dear.
03:35Leave it to me.
03:36I'm going out now.
03:37I expect it to be out when I come back.
03:38Drive carefully, dear.
03:39Good morning, Major.
03:40Good morning, Volta.
03:41I do apologise for the tardiness at the arrival of your newspaper this morning, Major.
03:44I will speak to them again, see if something can be done.
03:46Ah, more strikes.
03:47Dustman, post office...
03:48Oh, makes you want to cry, doesn't it?
03:49What's happened to the old idea of doing something for your fellow man?
03:52What's happened to the old idea of doing something for your fellow man?
03:55Of service!
03:56I mean, today, people just...
03:57Mr. Paul...
03:58Yes, I'm coming!
03:59I'm coming!
04:00Wait a moment!
04:01They treat you like dirt, you know.
04:02Of course, it's pure ignorance.
04:03What's happened to the old idea of doing something for your fellow man?
04:06Of service!
04:07I mean, today, people just...
04:08Mr. Paul...
04:09I'm coming!
04:10I'm coming!
04:11Wait a moment!
04:12Don't you?
04:13They treat you like dirt, you know.
04:15Of course, it's pure ignorance.
04:16We're the class of guests...
04:17Ah!
04:18Dolly Vera made a hundred.
04:19Did he?
04:20Yes.
04:21Did he, really?
04:22Good for him.
04:23Good old Dolly.
04:24Well, well, well.
04:25Ah, thank you, Paulie.
04:26We'll only stay until Sunday.
04:29Right.
04:42Oh, I thought you were going out, dear.
04:58What's this?
04:59I decided, Sybil, to advertise...
05:01How much did it cost?
05:03Oh, I...
05:04Fifteen.
05:05Forty.
05:06Forty?
05:07I have told you where we advertise.
05:10Sybil, I know the hotel business.
05:11No, you don't, Basil.
05:13Sybil, we've got to try and attract a better class of person.
05:16Why?
05:17Well, we're losing tone.
05:18You're making money.
05:19Yes, yes.
05:20Just?
05:21Yes, but now we can try and build up a higher class of clientele.
05:25Turn away some of that riff-raff.
05:27So long as they pay their bills, Basil.
05:29It's not all that matters to you, Sybil. Money!
05:31This advertisement is a waste of forty pounds.
05:34One moment.
05:35One moment, please.
05:38Well?
05:39Well?
05:40My dear woman, Sir Richard and Lady Morris arriving this evening for two nights.
05:43You see, they saw our advertisement in Country Life.
05:45I wish they were staying a week.
05:47Well, so do I.
05:48Might pay for the ad, then.
05:49Sybil, look.
05:50If we can attract this class of customer, I mean, the sky's the limit.
05:54Basil, twenty-two rooms is the limit.
05:57Have you seen the people in room six?
05:59They've never even sat on chairs before.
06:01They're the commonest, vulgarest, most of...
06:04Hello.
06:18I've got a room.
06:19I beg your pardon?
06:20I've got a room for tonight, mate.
06:21How shall I have to see, sir?
06:22A single?
06:23Yeah.
06:24No, make it a double.
06:25I feel lucky today.
06:26Hello.
06:27Good morning.
06:28Only joking.
06:29No, we haven't...
06:30What?
06:31We haven't any rooms.
06:32Good day.
06:33Number seven is free, Basil.
06:34No, Mr. Tone is in number seven, dear.
06:35No, he left while you were putting the picture up, Basil.
06:36You had like each, sir?
06:37Just one case.
06:38In the car.
06:39The white sports.
06:40Fill this in, would you, sir?
06:41If you can.
06:42Hello, sir.
06:43Hello.
06:44Hello.
06:45Good morning.
06:46Good morning.
06:47Only joking.
06:48Only joking.
06:49No, we haven't...
06:50What?
06:51We haven't any rooms, could there?
06:52Number seven is free, Basil.
06:53No, Mr. Tone is in number seven, dear.
06:54No, he left while you were putting a picture up, Basil.
06:57You had like each, sir?
06:59Just one case.
07:00In the car.
07:01The white sports.
07:02Fill this in, would you, sir?
07:03I hope you enjoy your stay, Mr. Brown.
07:06Ah, Manuel, would you fetch this gentleman's case
07:10from the car outside to take to room seven?
07:13Oh, he's not easy for me.
07:15What?
07:16He's not easy for me, entender.
07:18Ah, it's not easy for you to understand.
07:20Manuel, we're training him.
07:22He's from Barcelona.
07:24In Spain.
07:26Oh, to me, la valisa.
07:27Okay?
07:28La valisa.
07:29Okay?
07:30La valisa.
07:31Uh, auto, bianco, uh, sportif.
07:34Y, uh, a la sala, uh, uh, siete, por favor.
07:38Tonto?
07:39He's impossible.
07:40What?
07:41He's impossible.
07:42He's impossible.
07:43It's perfectly simple!
07:44Manuel, si va, si.
07:45Busca mi equipaje que esté en el automóvil blanco y lo trae a la sala número siete.
07:53Señor, habla español.
07:54Oh, solo un poco, lo siento.
07:56Pero he olvidado mucho.
07:58No, Señor, habla muy bien.
07:59Muy, muy bien.
08:00Formidable.
08:01Oh, gracias, gracias.
08:02Lo voy a coger ahora, si.
08:09Well, if there's anything else, I'm sure Manuel will be able to tell you.
08:12Unless you seem to get on so well together.
08:14Uh, ¿qué?
08:26Hello, dear.
08:27Just doing the picture.
08:41Don't forget the menu.
08:44I beg your pardon?
08:47Don't forget the menu.
08:49I thought you said you want...
08:50Right, I'll do the menu!
08:51You could have had them both come by now if you hadn't spent the whole morning skulking in there listening to that racket.
08:58The racket?
09:00That's Brahms!
09:02Brahms' third racket!
09:05The whole morning?
09:10Uh, two bars.
09:12Ready to order?
09:14Uh, yeah.
09:15Uh, what's, uh, a grey or frit?
09:17Grapefruit.
09:18Oh.
09:19Oh.
09:20And, uh, crème, pot, pot rouge.
09:22Oh, Portuguese.
09:23Tomato soup.
09:24I'll have the grail for it.
09:26Uh, now.
09:27Balm, carousel.
09:29Lamb?
09:30Casserole.
09:31Oh, sounds good.
09:32Does it come with a smile?
09:33Comes with sprouts or carrots?
09:34Oh, a smile's extra, is it?
09:35You'll get one if you eat up all your sprouts.
09:38Waiter!
09:40Waiter!
09:41I beg your pardon?
09:50Oh, hello.
09:51Uh, can I have some wine, please?
09:53The waiter is busy, sir, but I will bring you the carte de vin when I've finished attending to this gentleman.
09:58Oh, fine.
09:59Oh, fine.
10:00No worry.
10:01Oh, good.
10:02How nice.
10:03I trust the beer is to your satisfaction, sir?
10:05Yeah.
10:06Fine.
10:07Ah, good.
10:08May I wish you bon appetit?
10:11Manuel?
10:12Senor.
10:13Would you fetch the wine list, please?
10:16Si, senor.
10:17The wine list.
10:18Si?
10:19The wine list.
10:20The wine list.
10:21See?
10:22The wine.
10:23Vino.
10:24Senor.
10:25No, no, no, no.
10:26The list.
10:27There, there, the list.
10:30The list there.
10:32The red rust.
10:33Look there.
10:35There.
10:36Ah.
10:41I'm away.
10:42I'm away.
10:44Have you got half a bottle of the Beaujolais?
10:47Yes.
10:48Oh, fine.
10:50Right.
10:51Give him a wine.
10:52Manuel?
10:53Another grapefruit for table twelve, please.
10:54Manuel?
10:55I do a beg of a pardon.
10:56I apologize.
10:57I'm so sorry.
11:06Throw it away.
11:07Okay.
11:08Throw it away.
11:09Throw it away.
11:10Throw it away.
11:11No.
11:12Throw it away.
11:13No.
11:14Throw it away.
11:15Sorry.
11:16Sorry.
11:17What do you mean throw?
11:18What do you mean throw?
11:19What do you mean throw?
11:20Oh.
11:21Sorry about that.
11:22No.
11:23I like a bit of cabaret.
11:24You, er, you left your sketch.
11:25Oh, sorry.
11:26Oh, it's very good.
11:27Do you sell any?
11:28Enough to keep me in waitressing.
11:29Ah.
11:30One half bottle of Beaujolais.
11:31Symbol.
11:32Someone at reception, dear.
11:33Yes.
11:34Yes.
11:35Well, yes.
11:36Well, I was wondering if you could offer me accommodation for a few nights.
11:38Well, have you booked?
11:39I'm sorry.
11:40Have you booked?
11:41I know.
11:42Oh, dear.
11:43Why, are you full?
11:44No, no, we're not full.
11:45Not full.
11:46Of course we're not full.
11:47I'd like to...
11:48One moment, one moment, please.
11:49Oh, dear.
11:50Oh, dear.
11:51Oh, dear.
11:52Why, are you full?
11:53Oh, no, we're not full.
11:54Not full?
11:55Of course we're not full.
11:57What?
11:57Oh, no.
11:58Oh, dear.
11:59Why, are you a fool?
12:01No, no, we're not full.
12:02I'm a fool.
12:04Of course we're not full.
12:06But I'd like to...
12:06One moment, one moment, please.
12:10Yes?
12:11A single woman.
12:11Your name, please.
12:12Could I have your name?
12:13A male woman.
12:14One second, please.
12:15Hello?
12:16Ah, yes, Mr. O'Reilly.
12:17Well, it's perfectly simple.
12:19When I asked you to build me a wall,
12:20I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile,
12:23you might have found time to cement them together, you know.
12:27Tire the other in the traditional fashion.
12:29Could you fill it in, please?
12:31Oh, splendid.
12:33Ah, yes, yes, yes.
12:34Ah, but when, Mr. O'Reilly?
12:36There, there, there.
12:39Yes, yes, yes, but when?
12:41Yes, yes, yes, yes.
12:44Ah, the flu.
12:45Yes.
12:46Both names, please.
12:48Yes, I should have guessed, Mr. O'Reilly.
12:49That was the potato famine, I suppose.
12:51Yeah, I beg your pardon.
12:53Would you put both your names, please?
12:55Well, would you give me a date?
12:56No, I only use one.
12:58You don't have a first name.
12:59No, I am Lord Melbury, so I simply sign Melbury.
13:06Go away.
13:07I'm so well sorry to have captured your worship.
13:10I do apologise.
13:11Please do accept my forgiveness.
13:13Now, is there something, something, anything, that I can do for you?
13:16Anything.
13:17Yes, well, I have filled this in.
13:19Oh, please, don't bother with that.
13:19Now, a room, a special room, a single, a double, a suite?
13:23Well, we don't have any sweets, but we have some beautiful doubles.
13:25Oh, no, no, no, just a single.
13:26Just a single, absolutely.
13:28How very wise, if I may say so, Your Honour.
13:30With a bath.
13:31Oh, naturally, naturally.
13:34Naturellement.
13:34Oh, well, I shall, I shall be staying for one or two of the night.
13:40Oh, please, please.
13:40Manuel!
13:46Well, it's rather grey today, isn't it?
13:48Oh, yes, it is rather.
13:49Yes, of course, usually down here, it's quite beautiful,
13:51but today is a real old rotter.
13:56Manuel!
13:57Well, still, it's good for the wheat.
14:00Oh, yes, I suppose, sir.
14:01Oh, yes, I hear it's coming on wonderfully at the moment.
14:03Oh, thank God.
14:05Oh, I love the wheat.
14:06Oh, there's no sight like a field of wheat waving in the...
14:09waving in...
14:10Manuel!
14:14Well, how are you?
14:16I mean, if it's not a personal question, well, it is a personal...
14:18Lord, let me get your cases for you.
14:19Oh, yes, thank you very much.
14:21They're just outside.
14:21Thank you, sir.
14:22I won't be the one, man.
14:27Well, you know, it's really, you know...
14:30Why can't you just put your address...
14:31Ah, Melbury, um, may I introduce my wife?
14:35Yes, we have, Mayor.
14:36Ah, my wife, may I introduce his lordship?
14:38Thank you, Basil, we've sorted it out now.
14:40Splendid, splendid.
14:41Now, I wonder, could I deposit this case with you?
14:44It's just a few valuables.
14:45Valuables, mate?
14:46Of course, please, let me take it now
14:48and have it put in the safe straightaway.
14:49Sybil, would you put this in the safe, please?
14:51I'm just off to the kitchens, Basil.
14:52Yes, well, if you're too busy.
14:54Nice to have met you, Lord Melbury.
14:55Hope you enjoy your stay.
14:56Thank you so much.
14:56I'll do it then, and I'll do the picture.
14:58I'll put this away in one moment, you lord.
14:59Manuel, would you take these cases to room 21?
15:04Okay.
15:05Take to room 21.
15:10No, I'm tender.
15:12Trende las casas, in all...
15:14It doesn't matter, I'll do it.
15:15Right, thank you, thank you, Manuel.
15:17Oh, I take them.
15:17No, no, no, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
15:20Wait, wait, go and wait.
15:21Wait.
15:22Wait.
15:23Wait.
15:23In there.
15:24Don't wait in there.
15:25Don't be a waiter in there!
15:31I do apologise, Your Lordship. I'm afraid he's only just joined us.
15:35A bit quicker to train a monkey.
15:49Do please follow me.
15:51I mean, if you're ready. There's no hurry.
15:53Yes, yes, no. Fine.
16:00Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you.
16:02Would you mind moving to that table?
16:04Can I ask you, please, to move to that table over there?
16:06I'm so sorry to trouble you.
16:08We're halfway through.
16:10This is Lord Melbury's table, you see.
16:12Lord Melbury, when he stays with us, he always sits at this table.
16:15Why did they put us here?
16:16An oversight on my wife's part.
16:18I'm so sorry. He's only just arrived, you see.
16:20Would you mind, Polly?
16:21Would you help these people move to that table?
16:22Great food round your ears.
16:23Thank you. Thank you so much.
16:24Come on. Come on.
16:36Ah, Lord Melbury, do please come this way, Your Lordship.
16:39I have your table over here by the window, as usual.
16:45Thank you. Thank you.
16:46Thank you. Thank you very much.
16:47Yes, welcome.
16:48Oh!
16:49Oh!
16:50Oh!
16:51Oh, my God!
16:52Oh, my God!
16:53What?
16:54Get off of your mule!
16:56Thank you so much.
16:57Lord Melbury, I really must apologize again.
17:08Oh, no, no.
17:09Please, please.
17:10Think nothing of it.
17:11Oh, but it was...
17:12No, no, no.
17:13Smallest of accidents could have occurred anywhere.
17:15Yes, but I mean...
17:16No, no.
17:17I've forgotten all about it.
17:18You're really...
17:19Your Lordship.
17:20Would you allow me to offer you dinner here tonight as our guest?
17:24Oh, that's extremely kind of you.
17:26Unfortunately, I have an engagement tonight.
17:28Oh, actually...
17:29Yes.
17:30There is one thing.
17:31Oh, good.
17:32I was wondering, can you cash me a small cheque?
17:36I'm playing goth this afternoon.
17:37Oh, delighting!
17:38I'd rather not go into the town.
17:40Absolutely!
17:41I mean, how much?
17:42If it's not a rude question.
17:43No, well, could you manage...
17:45Fif...
17:46Oh.
17:47A hundred?
17:48A hundred?
17:49Oh!
17:50Ha, ha, ha, ha!
17:51Absolutely!
17:52Oh, yes.
17:53I mean, will a hundred be enough?
17:55I mean, a hundred and fifty?
17:56Two hundred?
17:57A hundred and sixty?
17:58Or...
17:59Oh, yeah.
18:00Well, now, let's see.
18:01It's dinner tonight.
18:02Few tips.
18:03Oh, and it's weekend, isn't it?
18:04Would two hundred be all right?
18:05Oh!
18:06Ha, ha, ha, ha!
18:07Oh, please!
18:08Oh, tremendous!
18:09Oh!
18:10I'm so happy!
18:11Oh!
18:12I'll send someone down to the town straight away
18:14and have it for you here when you get back.
18:16Yes, well, that'll be splendid.
18:17Oh, thank you.
18:18Thank you a lot.
18:19Thank you so much.
18:20Oh, not at all.
18:21I mean, my privilege.
18:23Really, I mean...
18:25Sure.
18:26Oh!
18:27Well...
18:28Hello, dear.
18:29What are you doing?
18:31I'm kissing you, dear.
18:32Well, don't.
18:33I thought it might be nice.
18:35I'm sure it's some small sign.
18:36I heard about lunch.
18:37What?
18:38Oh, that!
18:39Oh, think nothing of it.
18:40What?
18:41It was the smallest of accidents.
18:42It could have happened anywhere.
18:43Anywhere?
18:44First, you move that nice family in the middle of their meal
18:46and then you attack Lord Melbury with a chair.
18:49Look, Seville.
18:50I've had a word with Lord Melbury about it.
18:52He was quite charming.
18:53Oh!
18:54It's delightful to have people, I bet, staying here.
18:56Sheer class.
18:57Golf.
18:58Bath.
18:59There's engagements.
19:00Couple of hundred...
19:01Ha, ha, ha, ha, horses.
19:03Well, I've never seen such tatty cases.
19:05Of course you haven't!
19:06It's only a true upper class that would have tapped like that.
19:09It's the whole point!
19:10Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about.
19:12No, I don't.
19:13But don't ever move guests in the middle of a meal again
19:15and get that picture off.
19:17Oh, darling.
19:18Son of a rat.
19:22Ah!
19:23Um, would you do me a favour?
19:25Uh, when you're down in the town this afternoon,
19:27uh, would you just pop...
19:29just between ourselves, don't mention quite,
19:31pop into the bank and just...
19:33and just...
19:34It goes in the outwardير.
19:35Uh, can you have him there?
19:36Get down the street.
19:37Uncle Steve!
19:38Ce quiquette da enzole!
20:09Come on, come on.
20:39Could somebody answer that, please?
20:47Hello?
20:49Is there nobody who can answer that?
20:51There must be someone.
20:54Not you.
20:57I'll never get it up.
20:59Answer my whole day, do it then.
21:00Hello, 40 Towers?
21:01Hello, 40 Towers.
21:05Hello, Brenda.
21:07Basil, it's six o'clock.
21:09Ah, Polly, did you cash it?
21:12Yes, Mr Fawlty.
21:13Good, good.
21:13Could I have a word with you?
21:14What?
21:15Could I speak to you in the office for just a minute?
21:16Polly.
21:17It's very important.
21:17Later, later.
21:18Yes, I'm just going, dear.
21:20Thank you so much, Polly.
21:21Why don't you move to that, please?
21:28Ah, good evening, Major.
21:29Evening, Fawlty.
21:31Ah, the usual.
21:32Er, oh, oh, why not indeed, yes.
21:35Why not?
21:36I've just been watching one of those nature films on television.
21:40Oh, yes?
21:41Did you know the female gibbon gestates for seven months?
21:45Seven months?
21:46Yeah.
21:47Well, I never.
21:48Here you are, Major.
21:50Seven.
21:50Oh, my word.
21:52Ah, good evening, Mr Waring.
21:53A gin and orange, a lemon squash and a scotch and water, please.
21:57Seven, now.
21:58Oh.
22:00Is there any part of the room you would like us to keep in mind?
22:03Oh.
22:03We'll be over there, then.
22:08Seven.
22:09Well, well.
22:09Evening, Fawlty.
22:10Ah, good evening, Lord Melbury.
22:12Anywhere.
22:12Yes, anywhere.
22:15Lord Melbury, may I offer you a little aperitif as our guest?
22:18Oh, that's very kind of you.
22:19Dry sherry, if you please.
22:21What else?
22:23Ah, such, oh, I don't know what.
22:26Je ne sais quoi.
22:28Exactly, exactly.
22:30Ah, there you are, Sybil.
22:31Good evening, Major.
22:32Good evening, Mrs Fawlty.
22:33there you are your lordship. oh thank you very much. I see my little collection of
22:38coins tickles your interest. what? oh oh yes yes. old British Empire of course.
22:43used to be quite a hobby of mine. little investment too. yeah quite. I'm talking
22:48about did you manage? oh yes yes. there you are your lordship.
23:03oh yes you know these sorts of things their values soared this last couple of
23:08years. have they? oh yes now you take my advice. you get them revalued and
23:12insure them for the full amount. yes yes I will. you can't take any risks nowadays I'm
23:18afraid. no no. well I must be off. well thank you very much your lordship. yes I'm just talking to Lord Melvredia.
23:23gin and orange or lemon squash and a scotch. I do apologize. I was um I was thinking
23:32I am having dinner tonight with the Duke of Buckley. do you know him? not not personally no. oh well
23:41he's a great expert. you know Sotheby's and all that. you see well now if you liked I could take
23:47them with me. ask him to have a quick look at them and find their current value. would you? yes yes
23:52certainly yes. now I'll be off in a few moments. you know. really soon. Basil! I'm talking to Lord Melvredia!
23:58a gin and orange, a lemon squash and a scotch and water. all right all right.
24:04oh Mr. Fawlty. was that Lord Melvredia? has he gone? I wrong. Mr. Fawlty I must speak with you. what?
24:13can't you see I'm busy? please. it's very important. can we talk in there? I can't. it's very important. I'm just
24:19uh did him something important out here civil. thank you. yes yes all right. yes yes. well. well. yes yes.
24:25yes. right. yes. it's about Lord Melvredia. yes. he's not Lord Melvredia. he's a confidence trickster.
24:30I beg your pardon? Mr. Brown told me. oh. Mr. Brown's from the CID. they've been watching Melvredia because he's
24:37pulling some big cong trick in the town. they're going to arrest him as soon as he leaves here so as not to
24:41cause you embarrassment. but he asked me to tell you so that you wouldn't. oh how nice of you. oh please Mr. Fawlty. oh I don't know what other tales Mr. Brown of MI5 has been impressing you with.
24:49he's a con man. oh yes of course it stands out a mile doesn't it. he's so common.
24:53unlike that cockney git whose ulterior motives will soon no doubt become apparent to you. poor
24:59innocent misguided child that you are. that's it. what's going on? nothing my dear. nothing at all. mrs. Fawlty. now look. yes Polly. i don't know what she's.
25:06Mr. Brown is from the CID. ah. he showed me identification. they're watching mulberry. he's a confidence trickster. i see.
25:14what do you what do you mean you see? let's have a look at these valuables. what are you doing Sybil? Sybil i forbid you to open that safe.
25:21Sybil i forbid you to take that case home. Sybil do not open that case. i forbid it. i have forbidden it.
25:26i never thought i would live to see the day. when a peer of the rebel trusts to us. case of adams. in trust.
25:36i'll call the police. they're already here. mr brown's outside.
26:02someone at reception basil.
26:16ah um all right uh
26:22good evening. i believe you were expecting us. no i was expecting somebody else. sir richard and lady morris.
26:27yes yes them as well. i'm sorry. how did you know? what? oh you're sir richard and lady morris.
26:32ah i do beg your pardon. i was just the.
26:40ah would you mind uh filling this out please.
26:41ah we've given you room to uh aha. ah 40. mr 40 to you lord mulberry.
26:48i beg your pardon. oh nothing please. forget all about it. ah well see um check for 200 pounds.
26:54ah thank you so much.
26:55ah now about my priceless collection of coins. oh yes do you still. do i still want you to take them to
27:02be valued by the duke of buckley my lord. oh yeah. no i don't. because we just heard that the duke of
27:07buckley is dead. yes. got his head knocked off by golf ball. tragic. tragic. well how are you lord
27:14melbury? how are you then? all right mate? how's me old bucka? any valuables to deposit sir richard? any bricks?
27:25i do apologize. you bastard!
27:3012. if you ever look in the park i'm sure you'll like it. we'll have your bags brought up. oh and may
27:34i introduce your wife? hello lord melbury. bastard! please um think nothing of it please excuse me one moment.
27:52how are you going? we're leaving. oh don't please stay. you'll like it here. i've never been in such a place in my life.
28:22you snobs! you stupid, stuck-up, toffee-nosed, half-footed, upper-class piles of pots!
28:42just one. sorry mr falls. just one. please.
28:52sorry mr faulty.
29:04oh i better put the picture up.
29:09uh thank you polly for the
29:11well done manuel. okay. oh ole. sorry about that mr faulty. can i buy you a drink? no no i better
29:23put this off as well. a gin and orange. a lemon squash and a scotch and water please! right!
29:38oh
29:51oh
29:52oh
29:52oh
29:54oh
29:56oh
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