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  • 10 hours ago
Angry after another mishap with Parker, Binghamton assigns the Ensign to coast-watching duty in a hazardous location. But he quickly changes his mind.

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Fun
Transcript
00:00Oh, man, I'm sure glad that physical's over.
00:08I'd rather face a nip bayonet than I would than another one of Doc's needles.
00:12I don't know what you're complaining about.
00:13At least you've got your shot in the arm.
00:14Boy, I'll have to stay in for a week.
00:20Ah!
00:23Oh, no, it's my fault.
00:25That's my fault, Tia.
00:25I know it was all my fault.
00:27It's always my fault.
00:28It really is.
00:29Yeah.
00:30Well, I can give you a hand.
00:31Why don't you give me a hand?
00:32Yes.
00:32No, no, no.
00:34Now, that was my fault.
00:35No, no, don't be silly.
00:36Your head was there first, and it's always my fault anyway.
00:39Why don't we just call it a draw, Lieutenant?
00:43Lieutenant?
00:45Oh, yes, Lieutenant.
00:47Lieutenant Benson.
00:49My friends call me Melba.
00:50Melba Benson.
00:51See, it's all there.
00:53Well, I'm Quentin McHale, and this is Ensign Parker.
00:56Oh, how do you do?
00:58Oh, I'm sorry.
00:59Oh, my friends call me Chuck.
01:04Oh, good.
01:05All except Captain Binghamton.
01:06Yeah?
01:07You ought to hear what he calls me.
01:08Captain Binghamton?
01:09Oh, yes.
01:09The girls warned me about him the minute I shipped in yesterday.
01:12Don't they call him old Leadhead or something?
01:14Well, you got the right idea, but the wrong end.
01:18Don't you think we ought to help the young lady pick up some of this stuff?
01:22Yeah.
01:25We did it again.
01:26I guess that makes us nodding acquaintances.
01:28Yeah.
01:28Yeah.
01:33Aha.
01:34Huh?
01:35Caught you red-handed this time, McHale.
01:37Playing craps in the hospital.
01:38Craps?
01:39Oh, for the love of my...
01:40Look, all you were doing is just Captain Binghamton is...
01:43Captain Binghamton?
01:43You mean that's old Leadhead?
01:44Oh, 10 hunts!
01:47Oh, no!
01:52Captain, Captain, are you okay?
01:53Oh, look at us this way.
01:55At least there's no better place to get hurt than in a hospital.
01:58Yeah, you better listen to her.
01:58She makes a lot of sense.
01:59Yeah, listen to me.
02:00She does.
02:01One klutz isn't enough.
02:03Now I got a his and hers.
02:05All right.
02:05Get him up.
02:06Get him up.
02:06Get him up.
02:06Get him up.
02:08Get him up.
02:10Get him up.
02:12Get him up.
02:43Hey, come on, Chuck.
02:44We better get going.
02:45You don't want to keep that new girlfriend of yours waiting, do you?
02:48I'll be with you in a minute, Skip.
02:49I was trying to put a part in my fuzz.
02:51Remember, this is only your second date, lover boy.
02:53You don't want to burn yourself out.
02:55Better watch out for that Melba.
02:57You betcha.
02:58You two were almost gunners on that boat ride yesterday.
03:00Well, it wasn't Melba's fault.
03:02When the gig started acting up, I just tore and checked the fuel level in the gas tank.
03:05Yeah, but with a match?
03:06Look, Chuck, I beg of you, tonight, make a special effort to be extra careful, will you?
03:14The both of you.
03:15You don't have to worry about Melba.
03:16We're going to see that horror movie tonight, Vampire's Revenge.
03:19She'll be so petrified I won't have time to get in trouble.
03:21There they are, at the top of the cliff.
03:51They have killed me, but I shall come back, I swear it.
04:05Until then, farewell Matruska, farewell.
04:15Oh, I sure like those happy enemies.
04:17Well, Matruska, you know, that vampire certainly had a lot of nerve.
04:21Well, if you ask me, the guy who made the picture had all the nerve.
04:26Gosh, what a movie.
04:27They're still screaming.
04:28Still?
04:28Hi, Captain.
04:29How are you?
04:30Nice bloody movie, wasn't it?
04:31I'll show you a nice bloody ensign, you nitwitsy.
04:34Wait a minute, sir.
04:35No way to take anything out.
04:37Oh, there you are.
04:37Please, sir.
04:38No harm done, sir.
04:40What do you mean, no harm done?
04:41I'm probably maimed for life.
04:43Oh, here, let me look at it, sir.
04:44No, it looks all right to me.
04:46Melba, what do you think?
04:46You're a nurse.
04:47Oh!
04:48Get away from me, you.
04:51If I know one of you menaces so much as touches me again, I'd...
04:55Oh, what's the use?
04:56Come on, Carpenter.
04:57Let's get out of here while I'm all in one piece.
04:59Yes.
05:00Nice.
05:00Nice.
05:00Nice.
05:01Nice.
05:07Yeah, let me get in there.
05:09There we go.
05:11Oh, I still have the shivers.
05:12That monster really gave me the creep.
05:14Boy, that vampire was really scary, wasn't it?
05:16No, no, I was talking about Captain Binghamton.
05:19Yeah, I guess you can't tell the monsters without a scorecard.
05:22Well, go on.
05:23You kids have fun, huh?
05:25Oh, my purse.
05:26Oh, here, I'll get it.
05:27Oh.
05:28Oh, yeah.
05:29Yeah, I missed it.
05:33Chuck, no, stop!
05:35Oh, my, what?
05:37Oh, my, hey!
05:38Parker, I sit alone.
05:51Of all the low-down, hot-rodding,
05:53you deliberately try to cripple your cripple commanding officer, you...
05:57Uh, well, you better watch the language, sir.
05:59Uh, lady present.
06:01Hi.
06:02Wait a minute, Captain.
06:03We'll get you out, sir.
06:04Oh!
06:06Parker, this doesn't.
06:07I'm...
06:08Oh!
06:09I'm gonna ship you so far away,
06:11so help me, Halsey,
06:14that a seagull is gonna need a map to find you.
06:17Now, now, now, now, Captain,
06:18don't get so excited.
06:19Remember your high blood pressure,
06:20and I'll take it easy.
06:21We'll get you out.
06:22We'll have you out of here in no time.
06:23Halboa, you better give us a hand.
06:24Wait, I better.
06:25Oh, no, no!
06:27Oh!
06:30I guess I'd better find a seagull with a map.
06:32I'll help you.
06:33Look.
06:36Well, Scottie, howdy.
06:40How bad was it, Skip?
06:41The worst.
06:43He assigned him to Iragabe as a coast watcher.
06:46Iragabe?
06:46Is that a suicide hole?
06:47The Nip Navy shells it every day.
06:50Oh, I'm so sorry, Chuckie.
06:51It's all my fault.
06:53If only I was a man,
06:54then my purse wouldn't have gotten caught
06:56on your gear shaft.
06:56Oh, I feel awful.
06:58Don't feel so bad, Halboa.
07:00I mean, after all,
07:00if you were a man,
07:01well, look at all your uniforms
07:02that'd go to waste.
07:03Yeah, I never thought of that.
07:05Speaking of waste,
07:06we're wasting a lot of time.
07:08Come on, boys.
07:08We gotta figure a way
07:09out of this cotton-picking mess.
07:11Ah, just think, Elroy,
07:12in exactly 23 minutes,
07:14I'll be rid of that bird-brained Parker.
07:16He'll be out of my hair forever
07:18off to Iragabe.
07:19Sir,
07:20a toast
07:21to your eternal happiness.
07:23Oh!
07:25Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
07:26I'll go get another glass.
07:28Never mind, you dodo.
07:29Never mind.
07:30Cheers!
07:31I'd rather have had a glass, sir.
07:34Come in.
07:34Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.
07:37The idea of bursting in here
07:38in the middle of business hours.
07:40Well, sorry, sir,
07:41but this is business.
07:42The hospital has to know
07:43Ensign Parker's next duty station
07:44so we can keep tabs on him.
07:46You see,
07:46he's a very rare blood type.
07:48A rare blood...
07:49Are you trying to tell me
07:51he's a rare blood...
07:52The only thing that that man
07:53has got flowing through his veins
07:55is pure, unadulterated sap.
07:57That is very funny.
08:00No, sir.
08:01He's type double A6 negative.
08:03And to the best of our knowledge,
08:04there's only one other like it
08:05in the entire South Pacific.
08:07Mm-hmm.
08:08And who is that?
08:09An orangutan
08:09from lower Borneo?
08:11Sir, you...
08:12No, sir.
08:15As a matter of fact,
08:16it's yours.
08:17Mine.
08:18Yours.
08:19Yours.
08:19Well, he certainly has my sympathy
08:21because he...
08:23Mine.
08:24Have you got the unmitigated gall
08:29to come in here
08:30and tell me
08:30that I've got the same blood
08:31flowing through my veins
08:33as that balding baboon?
08:35Yes, sir.
08:36Type double A6 negative.
08:38Here it is in the medical reports
08:39of yesterday's physicals.
08:40Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:42Here, B.
08:42Oh, yes.
08:44Double A.
08:44Well, that's the way it is.
08:46That's why we have to find out
08:47where to reach Mr. Parker
08:48in case you happen to need a transfusion.
08:51After all, this is a combat zone and...
08:53Oh, please, nurse, please, please.
08:55Please, don't say it.
08:56Oh, sir, if anything should happen to you,
08:59I just don't think that
09:00I could bear up under the laws.
09:02I wouldn't like it, is it?
09:04Well, I wouldn't panic, Captain.
09:06As long as Mr. Parker is safe,
09:07you have nothing to worry about.
09:09Oh, yeah, well, that's right.
09:11You're a grape-hanging ninny.
09:12As long as he's safe,
09:13I don't have anything.
09:15Well, he's not safe.
09:17Well, he's...
09:17He's going to Irigabi.
09:19I mean, that's the suicide spot
09:20of the South Pacific.
09:22Thank you for the information.
09:23That ought to do it.
09:23No, no, no, wait a minute.
09:25I can't be that rare.
09:26Nurse.
09:28All right, let's go.
09:29Where are we going, sir?
09:30We're going to get Parker
09:31to make sure he doesn't do anything foolish
09:32with my blood.
09:33Well, before I go, you guys,
09:34I want you to have a few things.
09:36Tinker,
09:37my Parcheesi board.
09:39Burge,
09:40my pet frog, Albert.
09:42Exercise him three times a day
09:43in a bowl of water.
09:44I always wanted a frog.
09:46Well, that's why I gave him to you.
09:47Bye, Albert.
09:48Willie,
09:49I want you to have
09:50this souvenir hand grenade.
09:53Hey, dry truck,
09:54you pull the pen!
10:02Oh, no.
10:03Tell me,
10:04am I bleeding?
10:05Quick, tell me,
10:05am I bleeding?
10:06Oh, no, no, no, sir,
10:07you look fine.
10:08Your uniform for you
10:08is a little tidying up,
10:09but that's all, yes, sir?
10:10And now, look, sir,
10:11since it was my fault,
10:12I'm going to share
10:12the cost of dry cleaning with you.
10:14Hey, hey, hey,
10:14Captain,
10:15before you blow your stack down,
10:16now, now, please,
10:16Mr. Parker,
10:17I didn't mean to pull the pen.
10:18Honest.
10:19Oh, no, no, no,
10:20I can understand.
10:21I know,
10:21it's just an accident.
10:22A little accident can happen
10:23among the best friends.
10:26You mean you're not mad at him
10:27after what just happened?
10:28Yeah,
10:29no way should I be mad.
10:30I love the feel of fresh air
10:32on my skin.
10:33Don't you like that?
10:34As a matter of fact,
10:35I should apologize to you
10:36for all the mean and nasty things
10:38I've done lately.
10:40Apologize?
10:41Well,
10:41you better hurry up.
10:42My boat for Erigabe
10:43leaves in 15 minutes.
10:44Oh, Erigabe,
10:45oh, no, no, no,
10:46you're not going to Erigabe.
10:47That was just a little joke,
10:48Erigabe.
10:49Oh, yeah,
10:49that's right.
10:50The captain wants you
10:51to go main side
10:51so that he can look after you.
10:54You're going to look after him?
10:56You want me to go main side?
10:58The main side,
10:58look after you.
10:59I'm going to treat him
10:59like he's one of my own family.
11:01Yeah,
11:01just like a blood brother.
11:03Just like,
11:04shut up with the blood brother.
11:05Oh,
11:06if this boob gets any boobier,
11:07I'm going to make you
11:08my new exec.
11:09Now,
11:10wait just a minute,
11:11captain.
11:12I don't know
11:12what you've got up your sleeve,
11:14but you can't take him
11:15away like this.
11:16After all,
11:16he's our exec
11:17and we need him.
11:19Let's not have any arguments.
11:21I'm going to take him with me
11:22where it's neat
11:23and clean and safe.
11:25Well,
11:25okay,
11:26seems a lot easier
11:26if you just apologize,
11:27but I guess...
11:28Wow!
11:30Don't bruise anything.
11:31Are you all right?
11:31All right,
11:32get a tourniquet.
11:33Oh,
11:33don't worry,
11:33sir.
11:33I think he's already...
11:34Yes,
11:35he's just a little
11:35shook up,
11:36sir,
11:36don't worry.
11:36All right.
11:36Easy.
11:37Here you go,
11:37boy.
11:37That's it.
11:38Gently,
11:38gently,
11:39gently.
11:40Goodbye,
11:40Quinn.
11:41Now,
11:42I've picked up
11:42your vitamin pills.
11:44I want you to walk
11:44very slowly now
11:46because I don't want
11:47you to over-exert
11:48yourself.
11:49Why can't I?
11:50I mean,
11:50after all,
11:50you've been practically
11:51curing me ever since
11:52you got out of the gig,
11:52sir.
11:53Sir,
11:53oh,
11:53no,
11:53no,
11:54let's drop the
11:54formalities because
11:55we're going to be
11:56good friends from now
11:57on.
11:57Why don't you just
11:58call me Walt?
11:58And call me...
11:59Oh,
12:00I'm sorry,
12:03Captain,
12:04really,
12:04it's all my fault.
12:05Oh,
12:05my goodness,
12:06what did I do
12:06to your uniform?
12:07There's women
12:08drivers before.
12:09This one can't
12:09even walk straight
12:10out to Chuckie,
12:11all right?
12:11Oh,
12:13I'm sorry,
12:15Captain.
12:15I didn't mean it
12:16either time.
12:17My bleeding
12:17or I used to bleed
12:18anywhere.
12:19There must be
12:19some bleed.
12:20No,
12:20no,
12:20no,
12:20I don't think
12:21so,
12:21sir,
12:21but don't
12:21worry,
12:21Ensign Parker's
12:22here in case
12:22you need a
12:23transfusion.
12:23That's right,
12:24Captain.
12:25Isn't it amazing?
12:26Mr. Parker here
12:27is the only one
12:27in the entire
12:28South Pacific
12:28with the same
12:29blood type as
12:29you.
12:30The girls
12:31here in the
12:31hospital are
12:32just buzzing
12:32about it.
12:34Hey,
12:34how about that?
12:35Shut up.
12:36Why don't you
12:36go roll yourself
12:37a bandage or
12:37something?
12:37Hey,
12:38boy,
12:38that's...
12:39Hey,
12:40wait a minute.
12:41I get it.
12:41You only love me
12:47I'm sure I'll
12:48find something
12:49else to like
12:50you for.
12:50One little bit.
12:52But in the meantime,
12:52you're coming
12:53with me.
12:53Now,
12:53wait a minute.
12:54I don't want
12:55to go with you.
12:56I mean,
12:56after all of it,
12:56it's only in my
12:57blood you want.
12:58Why can't I
12:58stay back in the
12:59island?
12:59You can phone me
13:00every time you
13:00cut yourself.
13:01Oh,
13:01that's a wonderful
13:02idea.
13:02Hush,
13:03hush,
13:03sweet Melba.
13:04No,
13:04no,
13:04you'll come
13:05with me
13:05so you'll
13:05love it.
13:06You're just
13:06going to love
13:06it.
13:06You're going
13:07to have
13:07your own
13:07room.
13:07It's
13:08very cozy.
13:08You're going
13:09to have
13:09a new
13:09radio and
13:10you can
13:10have steak
13:11every night.
13:11Hey,
13:12can I
13:13have
13:13chip beef?
13:14You want
13:15chip beef?
13:16Oh,
13:16yeah,
13:16I'll even
13:17put on a
13:17shingle for
13:18you.
13:18Get with
13:19the bag.
13:19Get with
13:19the bag.
13:20Mosh,
13:20mosh,
13:21mosh.
13:21Isn't it
13:21great,
13:22Melba?
13:22Hey,
13:23can Melba
13:24come to
13:24dinner once
13:24in a while?
13:25Oh,
13:25you want her?
13:26Yes,
13:26come to
13:26dinner once
13:27in a while,
13:27Melba.
13:27Now,
13:28let's go,
13:29boy,
13:29before you
13:29pick up
13:29some disease
13:30here.
13:31Gently.
13:31Gently.
13:32Gently.
13:33Don't work
13:34too hard.
13:34Hi.
13:38All right,
13:39now,
13:40Daisy does
13:40it there,
13:41Chuck.
13:41All right,
13:43the carpenter,
13:43put the
13:44things down
13:44over there.
13:44Yes,
13:45sir.
13:45Here we
13:45go,
13:46boy.
13:47Here we
13:47go.
13:48All right,
13:48now,
13:49Chuck,
13:49you take
13:49the couch
13:50here and
13:51I'll keep
13:51the bedroom.
13:52Oh,
13:52right,
13:53well,
13:54boy,
13:54it's yours.
13:56Uh,
13:56look,
13:57uh,
13:58why don't
13:58you take
13:59the couch
13:59and I'll
13:59take the
14:00bedroom?
14:00Right,
14:00you expect
14:01me to
14:02sleep on
14:02this
14:02four-legged
14:03rock pile?
14:04Boy,
14:04you wouldn't
14:04want me
14:04to bruise
14:04my
14:05corpuscles,
14:05would you?
14:05Well,
14:06here,
14:06just try it,
14:06look at that.
14:08See what I mean?
14:09You goofy little
14:10shot.
14:10Go ahead and
14:11hit me,
14:11see if I
14:11care,
14:12but I
14:12warn you,
14:12I bleed
14:13easy.
14:14Ha-ha,
14:14thought that
14:15would stop
14:15you.
14:17Well,
14:18I'm gonna
14:19need a lot
14:19of closet
14:19space,
14:20so might
14:21as well
14:22get this
14:22junk out
14:22of here.
14:25Kind of
14:25cheap clothes.
14:27Well,
14:27here,
14:28get that
14:28cleaned up,
14:29and,
14:29I think
14:30you better
14:30draw my
14:30bath and
14:31turn my
14:31bed down.
14:32Boy,
14:32this is
14:32gonna be
14:33the life.
14:37Why?
14:38Why was
14:39I born
14:39so rare?
14:40I know
14:41just how
14:41you feel,
14:41sir,
14:41but don't
14:42you worry.
14:43I'll be
14:43by your
14:43side
14:44every step
14:44of the
14:44way.
14:45I hope
14:46so,
14:46Elroy,
14:46I hope
14:47so,
14:48because you
14:48I can
14:49hit.
14:52Excuse
14:52me,
14:53sir,
14:53here's the
14:53reports on
14:54the 73.
14:55Oh,
14:55by the way,
14:56how is
14:56Mr.
14:57Parkes?
14:57None of
14:57your business
14:58how he is.
14:58Now,
14:58get out of
14:59here,
14:59Scat.
15:03Hey,
15:03Skip!
15:04Well,
15:04am I glad
15:04to see you.
15:06Okay,
15:06driver,
15:06you can
15:07wait outside.
15:08What are you
15:08doing in that
15:09thing?
15:09Are you
15:09okay?
15:10Oh,
15:11yeah,
15:11yeah.
15:12This is just
15:12his idea.
15:13He doesn't
15:14want me to
15:14exert myself.
15:14You know,
15:15I get tired
15:15blood.
15:16Tired
15:17blood?
15:17What's that?
15:18All right,
15:19all right,
15:19enough this
15:19idle talk.
15:20Skip,
15:20you're never
15:21gonna believe
15:21this.
15:22He and I
15:22had the
15:23same rare
15:23blood type.
15:24Why,
15:24if anything
15:25were to
15:25happen to
15:25me,
15:25he'd never
15:26get a
15:26refill.
15:28So that's
15:29your angle.
15:30Now,
15:30look,
15:31Captain,
15:31you can't
15:32keep him
15:32cooped up
15:32like this.
15:33By golly,
15:34he's going
15:34back to
15:3473 where
15:35he belongs.
15:36Yeah,
15:37the skipper's
15:37right.
15:38There's just
15:38so much
15:38pampering we
15:39freaks of
15:39nature can
15:40take.
15:40So if
15:42you think
15:42I'm gonna
15:42let you
15:43out on
15:43the high
15:43seas
15:43where
15:44they're
15:44firing
15:44real
15:44bullets,
15:45you're
15:45batty.
15:46Well,
15:46if you
15:46think
15:46I'm
15:47staying
15:47here,
15:47you're
15:48batty.
15:48I'm
15:48going
15:49back
15:49to
15:4973.
15:50Not as
15:50much
15:50as I
15:51need you.
15:51Now,
15:51you get
15:52this
15:52through
15:52your
15:52head,
15:53mister.
15:53You're
15:53confined to
15:54my quarters
15:54for the
15:55duration.
15:55Give me this.
15:56I'll drive.
15:56Now,
15:57wait a minute,
15:57Captain,
15:57you can't
15:58get away
15:58with this.
15:58Yes,
15:58I can.
15:59Oh,
15:59no,
15:59you can't.
16:00No,
16:00you cannot.
16:01No,
16:02you cannot.
16:03Get it.
16:04No.
16:05Captain.
16:06Captain.
16:08Man,
16:13what a
16:13crummy deal.
16:15Leadbottom
16:15can't
16:15get away
16:16with this.
16:16Sure,
16:16he can't
16:17keep
16:17Mr.
16:17Parker
16:18locked up
16:18like this.
16:19Well,
16:19how do you
16:19think I feel?
16:20I'm gonna
16:20have to
16:20sit here
16:20and twiddle
16:21my thumbs
16:21for the
16:21rest
16:21of the
16:22war.
16:22What
16:22am
16:22gonna
16:23tell
16:23my
16:23grandchildren?
16:24Grandchildren?
16:25Chuck,
16:26you didn't
16:26tell me
16:27you were
16:27married?
16:28And
16:28all
16:28this
16:28time
16:29you
16:29were
16:29taking
16:29me
16:29to
16:29the
16:29movies
16:30and
16:30holding
16:30my
16:30hand
16:31and
16:31letting
16:31my
16:32purse
16:32get
16:32caught
16:32on
16:32your
16:33gear
16:33ship.
16:34What
16:34Mr.
16:35Parker
16:35means
16:35is
16:35there's
16:36certainly
16:36no way
16:37to keep
16:37a
16:37fighting man
16:37cooped up.
16:39I'm beginning
16:39to feel like
16:39a draft
16:40dodger.
16:40You mean
16:41that,
16:41Chucky?
16:42You're
16:42that unhappy?
16:43You bet.
16:44Even Eric
16:44Gobby would
16:45be a picnic
16:46compared to
16:46this.
16:47It would?
16:48But I
16:48thought that
16:49you and
16:49that I
16:50oh,
16:50it's all
16:51my fault.
16:52I just
16:53can't do
16:53anything
16:54right.
16:54It's not
16:55your fault
16:55that Chuck
16:57and Binghamton
16:57have the
16:58same blood
16:58type.
16:59But that's
16:59just it.
17:00They haven't.
17:01I faked
17:02the medical
17:02records.
17:04You what?
17:05Please,
17:06say you
17:06didn't.
17:07I just
17:07couldn't let
17:08him ship
17:08Chucky away
17:09without trying
17:10something.
17:11You mean
17:11that Wally
17:12and I
17:12don't have
17:12the same
17:12blood
17:13type?
17:13Boy,
17:14and I
17:14just told
17:15him to
17:15rinse
17:15out my
17:15skivvies.
17:17Let
17:17bottom
17:17kill
17:18Mr.
17:18Parker.
17:18What
17:19about
17:19Melba?
17:19He'll
17:20really
17:20throw
17:20the
17:20book
17:20at
17:21her.
17:21What
17:21are
17:21we
17:21going
17:21to
17:21do?
17:22I
17:22knew
17:23I
17:23should
17:23have
17:23been
17:23an
17:24aircraft
17:24worker.
17:25Don't cry,
17:26Melba.
17:27We'll figure
17:27out a way.
17:28Sure.
17:28There must
17:28be someone
17:29we can
17:29convince
17:30Binghamton
17:30he doesn't
17:30want
17:31Mr.
17:31Parker's
17:31blood.
17:32I
17:32got it.
17:33Why
17:33don't
17:34we
17:34just
17:34tell
17:34him
17:35Mr.
17:35Parker
17:36has
17:36some
17:36cockamamie
17:37disease.
17:37You
17:38know,
17:38like
17:38we
17:38saw
17:38in
17:38that
17:39movie,
17:39Dr.
17:39Arrowsmith.
17:40Oh,
17:40come on.
17:41You're a kid.
17:42He'd never
17:42go for that.
17:43No,
17:43no,
17:43no,
17:44wait a
17:44minute,
17:44wait a
17:45minute.
17:45Tinker
17:45boy,
17:46you
17:46got
17:46the
17:46right
17:46idea,
17:47but
17:47the
17:47wrong
17:48movie.
17:49Hey,
17:49what
17:49was
17:49the
17:49name
17:50of
17:50that
17:50turkey
17:50we
17:50saw
17:50the
17:51other
17:51night?
17:52Vampire's
17:53Revenge.
17:54Vampire's
17:54Revenge,
17:55that's it.
17:55Yeah,
17:55boy,
17:56how could
17:56I
17:56forget?
17:57That
17:57monster
17:58with the
17:58long
17:58fangs?
17:59Wow,
17:59I was
17:59so scared
17:59I
17:59had to
18:00sleep
18:00with
18:00a
18:00light
18:00on
18:00all
18:00night.
18:01How do
18:02you think
18:02Binghamton
18:03will feel
18:03if somehow
18:04he finds
18:05out that
18:06he is
18:07a vampire?
18:08No,
18:09but
18:09Chucky's
18:09no vampire.
18:11No,
18:11he's sweet
18:12and adorable
18:13and his
18:14teeth are
18:15too short.
18:16Yeah,
18:16besides,
18:17how would
18:17it look?
18:17An Anson
18:17biting his
18:18commanding
18:18officer in
18:19the neck?
18:20He's
18:20got a
18:20point.
18:21Well,
18:21Skip,
18:21how are we
18:22going to
18:22work it?
18:23Well,
18:23now,
18:23will you
18:23just stop
18:24worrying and
18:24just leave
18:25it to that
18:25little old
18:25monster
18:26maker?
18:26Me!
18:35Things I
18:36have to
18:36put up
18:37with
18:37just to
18:38stay alive.
18:55Chuck,
18:55you all
18:56right?
18:58I said,
18:58is everything
18:59all right?
18:59Ah!
19:07Did
19:07somebody
19:07call me?
19:13Parker,
19:13what is
19:14this,
19:14some kind
19:14of a
19:14Halloween prank?
19:15What are
19:16you doing
19:16in a
19:16ridiculous
19:17outfit?
19:18Ah,
19:18well,
19:19ridiculous,
19:20I'll have
19:20you know.
19:21This is
19:21the only
19:22way to
19:22fly.
19:23you
19:26keep
19:27away
19:27from
19:27me.
19:28The
19:28word is
19:29vampire.
19:30Vampire?
19:31Is that
19:32the reason
19:32for
19:32ridiculous
19:33teeth?
19:34Ridiculous
19:34teeth?
19:35I'll
19:35have
19:35you
19:35know
19:35that
19:35at
19:36my
19:36class
19:36at
19:36Transylvania U
19:37I have
19:3722%
19:38fewer
19:38cavities.
19:39No,
19:40no,
19:40no,
19:40don't,
19:40don't.
19:41I'm
19:41sorry,
19:42but this
19:42won't
19:42hurt
19:42a bit.
19:43Hold on.
19:44How dare
19:45you try
19:45and bite
19:45your
19:45commanding
19:46officer?
19:47Oh,
19:47thank
19:48goodness,
19:48Captain,
19:48you're...
19:49Oh,
19:49no,
19:50we're
19:50too late.
19:51How did
19:52he get
19:52out of
19:52the
19:52coffin?
19:52I don't
19:52know.
19:53We better
19:53get him
19:54quick.
19:55Yeah,
19:55grab him
19:56quick.
19:56Yes,
19:57sir.
19:57Stand back,
19:58you mortals,
19:59or I'll
19:59cast the
20:00spell of
20:00Dracula
20:01upon you.
20:03What is
20:03this idiotic
20:04talk?
20:05Oh,
20:05sir,
20:06we should
20:06have told
20:06you before,
20:07but we
20:07didn't
20:07want to
20:08alarm the
20:08whole
20:08base.
20:09We've
20:09been living
20:09with this
20:10terrible
20:10secret for
20:10years.
20:11Yes,
20:11that's
20:12right,
20:12sir.
20:12You
20:12see,
20:13he's
20:14a vampire.
20:18It
20:21in his
20:28blood.
20:30In his
20:30blood?
20:31Nobody
20:32believes in
20:32vampires
20:33anymore.
20:34You'll
20:34fly away.
20:35Scoop,
20:36scoot.
20:36I can't
20:36do that.
20:37I invited
20:38some of my
20:38friends to
20:39drop in.
20:40Oh,
20:40no,
20:41Dracula.
20:42You didn't
20:42dig them
20:43up,
20:43too?
20:43Yes,
20:44I did.
20:45Come in,
20:46gang.
20:46It's
20:51the
20:51Phantom of
20:51the
20:51Opera.
20:57And
20:57the
20:57Wolfman.
21:05The
21:05Hunchback
21:06of Notre
21:06Dame,
21:07too.
21:11Oh,
21:12hey,
21:12go ring
21:12your bell.
21:14And
21:14last,
21:14but not
21:15least,
21:15I'd like
21:15you to
21:16meet,
21:16my
21:16mummy.
21:22This
21:22is
21:22your
21:23mummy?
21:27How are
21:28you,
21:28mummy?
21:29You've got
21:29a nice
21:30boy here.
21:30He's a
21:30laugh a
21:31minute.
21:35All
21:35right,
21:35boys,
21:36the
21:36drinks
21:37are
21:37on
21:37me.
21:38Oh,
21:38no,
21:39no,
21:39Dracula,
21:40not in
21:40the
21:40neck.
21:41Please,
21:42what do
21:42you want
21:42from
21:43me?
21:43The
21:43same
21:43thing
21:44you
21:44want
21:44from
21:44me,
21:45a
21:45little
21:45blood?
21:45No,
21:46no,
21:46no,
21:46no,
21:46no.
21:47Just get
21:47away from
21:48me.
21:48Just get
21:48away from
21:49me.
21:49Yo,
21:49move.
21:51Mikhail,
21:52don't you
21:52stand there,
21:53call the
21:53supply
21:53officer,
21:54order a
21:54wooden stake
21:55to drive
21:55to his
21:55heart.
21:56Oh,
21:56but it's
21:57too late,
21:57Captain.
21:58Go get
21:58him,
21:58Drack,
21:58baby.
21:59Save a
21:59little
21:59for us.
22:00I'll take
22:00an end
22:01cuss.
22:01Save
22:01me the
22:01giblets.
22:03No,
22:03no,
22:03wait a minute,
22:03Parker,
22:04I'll
22:04make a deal
22:05with you.
22:05I want
22:06your blood.
22:06You keep
22:06your blood.
22:07He's going to
22:07keep mine.
22:08It's too
22:09late,
22:09Captain.
22:10I need
22:10some blood,
22:12and I
22:12go into...
22:13Parker Lieber,
22:15boss is
22:15low.
22:15Oh,
22:16what a
22:16break,
22:17sir.
22:17Yes,
22:18he's
22:18hopeless now.
22:18The vampire's
22:19hopeless without
22:19his wings.
22:20Grab him,
22:21boys,
22:21grab him.
22:21Let's get
22:22out of here.
22:22Yes,
22:23sir.
22:23Hold it.
22:25Hopeless without
22:26his wings,
22:27huh?
22:28Let me see.
22:30U.S.O.
22:31Costume
22:31Department.
22:32Huh?
22:32I suppose
22:33you're going
22:34to tell me
22:34he goes out
22:35and he rents
22:35this outfit
22:36every time
22:37the moon
22:37is full.
22:38Well,
22:38actually,
22:39I mean,
22:39it's very hard
22:40for a vampire
22:41to get a good
22:41tailor nowadays.
22:43Get a good
22:43tailor,
22:44huh?
22:45Or a good
22:47dentist.
22:47Oh,
22:48the dastardly
22:49deeds you've
22:49ever pulled,
22:50McHale.
22:50You men
22:51take those
22:51things off.
22:52Take the
22:52effort.
22:52No,
22:52no,
22:53no,
22:53come on.
22:53Come,
22:54come,
22:54don't blow
22:55your top now,
22:55sir.
22:56We have an
22:56awful good
22:57explanation of
22:57you.
22:57Just listen,
22:58sir.
22:58I bet
22:59you do,
23:02you're not
23:04mad for
23:05what we
23:05just did.
23:06And we
23:06can take
23:07Mr. Parker
23:07back to
23:07the island?
23:08You don't
23:08want him
23:09here anymore?
23:09I don't
23:10want to
23:10spend another
23:11second with
23:12this menace,
23:12not if my
23:13life depends
23:14upon it.
23:14That goes
23:14for your
23:15blood,
23:15too.
23:15Yeah,
23:16well,
23:16a feely's
23:16mutual.
23:17Oh,
23:17thanks a lot,
23:18Captain.
23:18Bye-bye,
23:18Captain.
23:19Come on,
23:19boys,
23:19let's go.
23:20Your witness
23:20is our
23:21command.
23:23Even a
23:24vampire has
23:24his dignity.
23:32Come on,
23:33there we
23:33go.
23:37Chucky,
23:38you did it.
23:39Oh,
23:39that bottom
23:39lets you go.
23:40That's right.
23:41You might
23:41just say he's
23:42no longer
23:42the Captain's
23:43type.
23:44These guys,
23:45boy,
23:45they sure
23:45made great
23:46monsters,
23:46didn't they?
23:47Yeah.
23:47I won't
23:48sleep for
23:48nights.
23:49We sure
23:50had the
23:50Captain
23:50going for
23:51a while.
23:51Imagine a
23:52full-grown
23:52man falling
23:53for that
23:53monster.
23:54How can
23:55anybody be
23:55so stupid?
23:56You know,
23:56the little
23:56kids are,
23:57hey!
23:58Oh,
23:58no!
23:59It can't
24:02be!
24:03It's the
24:03creature
24:03from the
24:04lagoon.
24:04Come on,
24:05get out
24:05of here.
24:06Hold it,
24:06hold it,
24:06hold it.
24:07Banzai!
24:10Fuji,
24:12what are
24:13you doing
24:13here?
24:14Came along
24:15in case
24:15you needed
24:16help.
24:17That's
24:18our samurai.
24:19Oops.
24:20Help!
24:22Come on,
24:23you guys,
24:23the last
24:24one back
24:24to the boat
24:25is a two-headed
24:25monster.
24:26Come on,
24:26get going.
24:27Come on.
24:29Come on,
24:59The End
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