- 2 days ago
When Binghamton refuses permission for McHale and The Crew to put on a big show, to raise funds for the local Orphanage, Parker uses his newly-acquired skill as a Hypnotist, to make The Captain more agreeable. But the scheme is complicated by the visit of a Senator from the Armed Services Committee.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Happy.
00:02Oh, thanks, Willie.
00:04Christy.
00:07Virgil.
00:09One for me, one for you, Skip.
00:12Oh, thanks, Willie.
00:14And a package for Mr. Parker.
00:16What?
00:17And a package for Gruber.
00:18Ah.
00:20And Mom's been in the kitchen again.
00:22Okay, guys, Gruber's Gurumet Shop is open for business.
00:25Hot diggity.
00:26I hope she sends more matzo balls.
00:28That's my paisan.
00:30What have you got, Mr. Parker?
00:31It's that first lesson in the correspondence course I sent away for.
00:34What kind of course?
00:35I don't know.
00:35You take an aptitude test and they send you whatever you're best suited for.
00:39Hypnosis, the power of suggestion.
00:42For those with a forceful and dominating mind?
00:45Boy, I must have done better than a test than I thought.
00:48Forceful and dominating mind, boy.
00:50Hey, hey, you guys, listen to this.
00:52We got a letter from Miss Parfrey at that mission orphanage over on Buena Loa.
00:57She says it seems they got hit pretty bad by that last tropical storm.
01:01Gee, the poor kids.
01:02What a rough break.
01:03Anybody get hurt, Skip?
01:04No, but according to her, the place is a shambles.
01:07And she's kind of counting on us to help them get back on their feet.
01:11That means they need dough, boys, and lots of it.
01:13So come on, start digging.
01:15Come on.
01:15Dig deep.
01:16Ah, Skip, what lousy timing.
01:18We got clean out in a crap game with the Marines yesterday.
01:20Ah, you and your Marines.
01:22Come on, boys.
01:23They made a beachhead out of our wallets.
01:25We're broke, busted, flat.
01:27Sorry, Skip, my mother's two weeks behind my allowance.
01:30Don't look at me, Skip.
01:33And I'm down on my last sawbuck.
01:35Ah, those kids are expecting an answer to their mayday signal on the double.
01:39Say, we can always try to unload a piece of hot merchandise.
01:42What hot merchandise?
01:44I don't know.
01:44I haven't swiped it yet.
01:45I don't know if we can get some gopitos, Skip.
01:47All right, all right.
01:48Knock it off, you thieving pirates.
01:50We're going to get dough, but we're going to do it legit.
01:52Hey, Skip, I got an idea.
01:54Why don't we put on a little benefit show?
01:56That's how they hustle dough for charities back in the States.
01:59Oh, now listen to this.
02:01Not only beauty, but brains.
02:02Huh?
02:03Show's a good idea.
02:04And you know something?
02:05Even Binghamton wouldn't turn down that finger.
02:08Yeah, boy, and this arrived just in time.
02:10I can put on a hypnotism act.
02:11A hypno-who act?
02:13Hypnotism, it's simple, Skip.
02:14All you need is a dominating mind and a bright and shiny object.
02:17We can make a pile of dough.
02:18Yeah, we can put on a heck of a show.
02:20Everybody can do so.
02:21We got no steps.
02:22Yeah, come on, Skip.
02:25Going to sleep.
02:26Watch the watch.
02:27You're getting very tired.
02:28You're going to sleep.
02:29You're going to sleep.
02:31Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
02:36Look, you guys will all get a chance to try out for the show.
02:39But in the first place, we got to go in Asphampton for the use of the recreation hall.
02:43So come on, Chuck, let's go.
02:45Chuck?
02:47Hey, Chuck.
02:48Come on, let's go, will you?
02:49Okay, man, let's hit it.
02:50Come on, let's move out.
02:52Hey, Skip, we overslept.
02:53It's four o'clock.
02:53It's four o'clock.
03:23Yes, sir.
03:44Yes, sir, Admiral.
03:45I realize how important this is to you, sir.
03:47We'll all be on our toes here.
03:48Yes, sir.
03:50Carpenter.
03:52Carpenter.
03:54Oh, yes, sir.
03:57Did you want me, sir?
03:58No, I didn't want you.
03:59I was just practicing for the fleet yodeling contest.
04:02Well, I hope you win, sir.
04:04Come back here.
04:05Of course I wanted you.
04:06That was the Admiral on the phone.
04:08Senator Block is due here Saturday on an inspection tour.
04:11Old watchdog Block, sir?
04:12Chairman of the armed service committee?
04:13I hear he's a rough one.
04:14Oh, rough.
04:15Compared to him, Jack the Ripper looks like a choir boy.
04:18All he's interested in is efficiency, economy.
04:21Cut the budget.
04:22No waste.
04:22No relaxation.
04:23No frivolity.
04:24Well, what should we do, sir?
04:26What should we do?
04:27What should we do?
04:27We'll throw a big Mardi Gras for him.
04:29That's what we'll do.
04:31We're going to close the service club.
04:32We're going to close down the PX.
04:34We're going to close the officer's club.
04:36Notify all hands to be on a round-the-clock combat alert.
04:40Good afternoon, Captain.
04:42Not anymore, it isn't.
04:44Now, come on.
04:45Come on.
04:45I don't have time for a lot of idle chatter.
04:47What do you want?
04:47What is it?
04:48What?
04:48Well, sir, we'd like permission to use the recreation hall.
04:51You see, the men want to put on a little show.
04:52Oh, is that what the men want?
04:55They want to put on a little show?
04:56Yes, sir.
04:57A little show like the singing and dancing, that kind of thing.
04:59That's right.
05:00You see, there's this little old orphanage over in Bernaloe.
05:03Well, I'm a jabber, McHale.
05:04What in the name of Nimitz do you think I'm running?
05:07Well, you don't understand, sir.
05:09See, the proceeds are going to go to...
05:10Be quiet.
05:11To your...
05:12I said be quiet, and when I say be quiet, you freeze.
05:16Yes, sir.
05:17Now, as for you, McHale, there will be no show here.
05:20This is a combat base.
05:22Do you read me?
05:22No show.
05:23Oh, but, Captain...
05:25Don't you butt Captain me.
05:27I'm expecting a visit from Senator Block Saturday.
05:30And if that rat pack of yours isn't in shape, believe me,
05:33you'll be getting your social security checks from Leavenworth.
05:36Now, get out of here.
05:36Out, out, out, out!
05:39Aye, aye, sir.
05:42Permission to defrost, sir?
05:43Out!
05:47You certainly told them off, sir.
05:49Shut up, birdbrain.
05:50We'll be late for rehearsal.
05:51Yes, sir.
05:52Rehearsal?
05:52But, sir, you just gave McHale a direct order.
05:54No show.
05:55You know, Carpenter, with a little effort,
05:57you could make full-fledged halfwit.
05:59Well, thank you, sir.
05:59Shut up.
06:00Get my hat.
06:01Yes, sir.
06:01McHale couldn't follow an order
06:03if it had a big white line
06:04painted right down the middle of it.
06:06Well?
06:06Well?
06:07Well!
06:07Oh, yes!
06:08Something to earn your pay.
06:11Yeah, depriving a bunch of needy kids
06:13of food and clothing.
06:14Yeah.
06:15All right, all right.
06:16Hold it, you guys.
06:17Nobody's going to deprive any kids of anything.
06:19Well, as far as we're concerned,
06:20we're going to go full steam ahead.
06:22What do you mean, Skip?
06:23What's the plan, Skip?
06:24Yeah, what about that senator coming?
06:25No sweat.
06:26Look, as far as we're concerned,
06:28the senator comes on Saturday, right?
06:29Right.
06:30We put on the show Friday night
06:31on the other side of the island
06:33where Captain Binghamton can't spot us.
06:36And by Saturday, the decks are all cleared.
06:38Oh, Skipper, you're beautiful.
06:40Right.
06:40Oh, no, wait a minute, Gruber.
06:41Rugged, maybe, but not beautiful.
06:45Oh!
06:46I tripped, sir.
06:48I don't care what you did.
06:49You want them to hear us?
06:50Now, tippy-toe, tippy-toe.
06:57Now, is it clear to you?
06:59I want these pirates in the brig
07:01before Senator Block sets a foot on Tarotupa.
07:04Now, the only way we can do this
07:06is to catch them disobeying a direct order.
07:09Do you understand that?
07:10Oh, yes, sir.
07:10And if they're putting on a show,
07:12they're a goners.
07:13Yes, that's correct.
07:14Now, let's split up.
07:16You catch them with any evidence,
07:17sing out.
07:18Yes, sir.
07:20Oh, sir.
07:20What is it?
07:21What shall I sing?
07:23Oh, I know what you should sing.
07:25Sing the beer bell polka.
07:26I don't know it.
07:27Get out.
07:28Out!
07:29I don't know.
07:31Why is it me?
07:32Why is it always me?
07:40That's not it.
07:41Here it is.
07:41I say, now, ladies and gentlemen,
07:43here's the trick.
07:44Watch very closely.
07:44I say, here's a trick
07:45that's out of this world.
07:49It's also out of this act.
07:51Here's another one.
07:51This one should work.
07:52It better or you won't.
07:54Have a little compassion, please, will you?
07:56Something you might have kids of your own.
07:57All right, all right, Groover.
07:59Your act is in,
08:00but please try to keep it down to an hour,
08:01will you?
08:02I'll try, sir.
08:03All right, Chuck.
08:03Who's next?
08:05Parker the Great.
08:06Hypnotism and fancy chatter.
08:08Okay, come on, boys.
08:09We got it.
08:10Oh, that's me.
08:12Uh, now, let's see.
08:15You're going to sleep.
08:17Uh, I need a subject.
08:19Uh, Willie, volunteer.
08:20Hey, I ain't no volunteer.
08:22Oh, my mistake.
08:23You're drafted.
08:24Sit down over here.
08:25Come on.
08:26Let's go.
08:27Proceed, oh, noble one.
08:31Concentrate on the watch.
08:34Concentrate on the watch.
08:36Relax your body.
08:39You're getting sleepy.
08:41He's getting sleepy.
08:43You're getting sleepy.
08:45The only voice you hear is mine.
08:49You'll obey my every command.
08:53Do you understand?
08:55My voice is the only voice you hear.
08:59You'll obey my every command.
09:03Hey, it worked.
09:03It worked.
09:04He's out like a light.
09:05You're kidding.
09:07Oh, if you don't believe me,
09:07somebody give me a sharp pin.
09:09Oh, no, you don't.
09:11You mean you weren't even under?
09:12Nope.
09:12Weren't you even a little drowsy?
09:13Uh-uh.
09:14I will always say,
09:15if it's any consolation,
09:16Chuck, my foot fell asleep
09:18for a little while.
09:19Maybe I didn't do so bad after all.
09:21Take a look.
09:26Captain, before you blow your stack,
09:27let me explain.
09:29I know you said we couldn't put on a show,
09:31but knock it off, McHale.
09:33Well, now, look, Captain,
09:33those kids over at the orphanage,
09:35need to buy...
09:35Okay, I'll freeze.
09:37Who said anything about freezing, Chuck?
09:39You want to put on a show?
09:41We'll put on a show.
09:43Huh?
09:44Anything you want to do.
09:46It's all right with me.
09:47Well, I'm a seventh son of a seventh son.
09:50Chuck, you did it.
09:51You hypnotized old lead bottom.
09:53Aren't you going to ask me in, Chuckie?
09:56I put...
09:57Yeah!
09:57Come on in, Wally.
09:59Now, look, when he comes in,
10:00you pinch him and see what happens.
10:02Oh, Skip, I can't pitch him.
10:03He's a captain.
10:04Wait, you cut it out.
10:05Go ahead and do it.
10:06There I am, Chuck.
10:07Uh, hiya, Wally.
10:14Hi, Chuck.
10:17Chuck, you really got him under your power.
10:20Yeah, uh, look, Captain,
10:21why don't you sit down a minute?
10:23Uh, oh, here, listen to the ocean.
10:27Oh, can I wear your hat?
10:29No!
10:31This is just great, great.
10:33I don't know, Skip.
10:34I gotta bring him out.
10:35It's just not right.
10:36Uh, yeah, here it is.
10:37Bring him out.
10:38Just snap your fingers.
10:39Don't you dare.
10:41This is the break we've been looking for.
10:43With Binghamton willing to do anything you say way.
10:45Shucks, we can hold that show right out in the open.
10:47The show?
10:48What about poker?
10:49Crap games?
10:49You like it.
10:50This could be the Monte Carlo to Pacific.
10:51Hold that, Uber.
10:52This is strictly for the kiddies at the mission,
10:54and don't you forget it.
10:56Captain Binghamton!
10:56Captain...
10:57Oh, there you are, sir.
10:58Sir, look, I found the evidence just as you thought.
11:01Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
11:02I see you've nailed them already.
11:03Oh, wonderful work.
11:04So wonderful.
11:04I'll go get the S.P.'s.
11:05Well, hold it, Carpe.
11:07Oh, the captain wants the show to go on.
11:09Doesn't he, Chuck?
11:10He sure does.
11:11He's doing it for me, you know.
11:12Now, listen here, Ensign.
11:13You mind your P's and Q's.
11:14What are you doing with that?
11:15Chuck, he wants the show to go on,
11:17and if that's what he wants, that's what I want.
11:20So bye-bye, Carpe.
11:21But, sir, in your office and on the way over here,
11:23I distinctly heard you say you did not want a show...
11:25Carpe, you've been drinking again.
11:26He's a terrible person, Chuck.
11:28He's drinking all the time.
11:28I don't...
11:29Ah, I've got a wonderful idea for the show, Chuck.
11:33Why don't you let me be in it?
11:34I do a snazzy little soft shoe.
11:36Get a load of this.
11:37Huh?
11:40Huh?
11:43Sir, what about Senator Block?
11:44Old watchdog Block?
11:45You know how he feels.
11:46Quiet, Carpe.
11:47Can't you see the captains dance and dance?
11:49Dance, count, dance.
11:52How about that?
11:53See, I've got a great idea, Chuck.
11:54Why don't we do a duet?
11:56Binghamton and Parker, huh?
11:58Oh, I don't know, boy.
11:58Oh, I'm sorry.
11:59Parker and Binghamton.
12:01Come on, boy.
12:02It's not part of his handwork, you know.
12:04Look who's dancing.
12:07Come on, Captain.
12:08Another boy.
12:15It's the greatest little show on earth.
12:17It's McHale's Follies.
12:19This is Friday night, boys.
12:20There's going to be acts, big acts, eight acts, boys.
12:22All kinds of acts.
12:23Wait a minute, seven.
12:24Girls, girls.
12:25Girls dancing just the way you like to see them, you know what I mean?
12:29How we doing, Chuckie?
12:32Fine, Wally.
12:33Just fine.
12:35Nothing, he calls it.
12:36Mr. Parker, the entire Pacific fleet couldn't have taken this island as fast as you did.
12:41Gentlemen, a toast to Mr. Parker and his forceful, dominating mind.
12:47Here, here, here.
12:48Yeah, Mr. Parker.
12:49Huh?
12:50Oh, sorry, girl.
12:51Carpenter!
12:52Ensign, this is the last bottle of the captain's private stock.
12:58Now, see here, Lieutenant.
12:59You wouldn't want us to tell the captain that you refused Mr. Parker and his friends.
13:03Fill her up.
13:07All right.
13:09Now, just what's going on here?
13:11Oh, hi, Skip.
13:11Money and wine's fine.
13:13Oh, it is, is it?
13:15Copy?
13:16Hi, you'll excuse us if we have a little private matter to take care of.
13:20Now, you listen to me, you bunch of nutheads!
13:25Gosh, Skip, what are you getting mad at?
13:27Why did I get...
13:29Look, we're supposed to be putting on a show, or did you forget?
13:32No, Skip.
13:32I got Binghamton, and he assigned some details to paint the scenery and pick up the costumes.
13:37He's even bringing over beer from the supply hall.
13:39Oh?
13:40And who did you send over to rehearse your act for you, huh?
13:43All right, you miserable playboys.
13:45Come on, get out of there.
13:46Get out!
13:46Out!
13:47Out!
13:47You got rehearsals to do.
13:49Outside!
13:50Get out of here!
13:55Commander McHale, I don't know what...
13:57Copy.
13:58Didn't the captain give you something special to do?
14:02Huh?
14:03Huh?
14:03Huh?
14:03Huh?
14:04Huh?
14:04Huh?
14:04Huh?
14:05Huh?
14:05Huh?
14:06Huh?
14:06Huh?
14:07Huh?
14:07Huh?
14:08Huh?
14:08Huh?
14:09Huh?
14:09Huh?
14:10Huh?
14:10Huh?
14:11Huh?
14:11Huh?
14:12Huh?
14:12Huh?
14:13Huh?
14:13Huh?
14:14Huh?
14:15Huh?
14:15Huh?
14:16Huh?
14:16Huh?
14:17Huh?
14:17Huh?
14:18Huh?
14:18Huh?
14:22Hey, Hap, where's the captain?
14:23He's taking a rehearsal break with the rest of the guys.
14:26Oh.
14:28Where you got the dice?
14:29Okay, baby, come 7-11.
14:31Hey, Groover.
14:32Hi, Mr. Parker.
14:33Hi, hi, Chucky.
14:34Hi, Wally.
14:36Uh, come here a minute, Groover.
14:37Watch the pot.
14:38Hi.
14:38Hey, Groover.
14:39Hey, Groover.
14:40Have you blown your stack?
14:41Three hours till showtime when you get Binghamton in a crap game.
14:43We told him you said it was okay.
14:44Now, you know what the skipper said about not taking advantage of Binghamton.
14:47What advantage?
14:48He's winning.
14:49Ah, come on, Chucky.
14:50You're holding up the game, buddy.
14:51Uh, Groover, give my old pal the dice.
14:53Do you want to roll, Chuck?
14:54Me?
14:55Oh, I don't, um, well...
14:59Come on, Chuck.
15:00You're covered.
15:01Come on, 7.
15:03Go, Chuck!
15:08Hard in the name of houses going on here.
15:10Where...
15:11Who are these people?
15:12What are they staring at?
15:13I...
15:14How about this in hell?
15:15He's out of it.
15:16All because I snapped my...
15:18Oh, boys.
15:19Aha!
15:20A crap game.
15:21Oh, I've got you pirates this time.
15:24Take it easy, Captain.
15:25Take it easy.
15:26Wally, just watch the watch.
15:27Just watch the watch.
15:28Watch the watch.
15:29Watch the watch.
15:30Watch the watch.
15:31Oh, don't you, Wally.
15:32Get that thing out of my face.
15:33Oh, McHale, I've really got your saltwater tramps this time.
15:36Only a crap game in the wreck hall.
15:38Well, can you think of a better place, sir?
15:40And besides, you were in the game.
15:42Me in a crap?
15:43That's ridiculous.
15:44I've never been in a...
15:46I seem to have a...
15:47I don't...
15:48You're all under arrest.
15:49Carpenter!
15:50Carpenter!
15:51Watch your dog tags, Wally.
15:52See the walk tags.
15:53You're getting sleepier.
15:54You're getting sleepier.
15:55I'm getting sleepier.
15:56You're sleeping.
15:57Would you kick those things out of my face?
15:58Carpenter!
15:59Yes, sir.
16:00I'm right here, Captain.
16:01Well, it's about time you got here.
16:03I want all these men...
16:06What in the blue pacific are you doing in that outfit?
16:10Oh, well, sir, Quint here gave me a specialty.
16:12How do you like my outfit, sir?
16:13How do I like them?
16:14Are you out of your mind?
16:16No, sir.
16:17I'm supposed to be the bird in the gilded cage, sir.
16:19Yes.
16:20You're going to be a dead pigeon in the brig, that's what you're going to be, unless you
16:24explain to me what is going on here.
16:26Oh, we're only putting on the show that you authorized, sir.
16:29Yes.
16:30A show that I authorized?
16:31Are you all out of your minds?
16:32Do you think I would authorize a show like this with Senator Block on his way here?
16:36No, I'm going to book you and your botvillians right into the stock.
16:39Hey, that's what I'm going to do with you.
16:41And it's going to be one of the longest runs in history.
16:43Watch the belt, Captain.
16:44See the belt?
16:45Oh, belt?
16:46You!
16:47Get those things out of my face!
16:49What's that crap when do you get out of that ridiculous outfit?
16:51Yes, sir.
16:53Sir, I'm having a little trouble with my zipper.
16:54Would you help me?
16:55Your zipper? Oh, yes.
16:56I used to do this for Mrs. B...
16:57Oh, get your own zipper, you crammon!
17:00You didn't see that.
17:04What now, Skip?
17:05The show's supposed to go on in an hour.
17:07And we can't get the money back for the tickets if you already shipped it over to the orphanage.
17:10If only Mr. Parr could get another chance at hypnotizing the cabin.
17:13How can we get near him? We're supposed to be on our way to the brig.
17:16Hey, wait a minute, fellas.
17:18I got an idea.
17:27Come here, come here, come here.
17:31Boys, look.
17:32It's a long shot, but it's worth a chance, right?
17:35Chuck, I want you to get on that phone over there by the officers' club.
17:38You know where it's at?
17:39Okay.
17:40Virgil.
17:56Are you watching the light?
18:05You see it swaying to and fro, to and fro.
18:09See here, I...
18:11You're getting sleepy.
18:13You're getting very sleepy.
18:16This is Chuck.
18:18Whatever I tell you to do, you will do.
18:21Do you understand?
18:23Whatever you say, Chuck.
18:25Anything you say.
18:29Okay.
18:37Sir, here are the court-martial papers for Commander McHale and the entire 73 crew, just as you wanted.
18:41Waiting for your signature.
18:42Court-martial McHale and the crew of the 73.
18:44Yes, sir.
18:45My fellow players, Mr. Parker's friends.
18:48But, sir, I don't understand.
18:50You told me to go outside and make up the court-
18:52Captain, it's not yours to reason why.
18:54It's yours to obey your commanding officer.
18:57Sir, I've been trying to do that all day, but you just won't let me.
19:00First you say one thing, and then you say another.
19:02Sir, no matter what I do, I just can't seem to please you.
19:04Pull yourself together, boy.
19:06We have a show to do for Chuck.
19:08Don't let bottom go.
19:23Oh, they're loving it out there.
19:25Keep it up, Wally.
19:26I'm Senator Block.
19:27Is this Captain Binghamton's office?
19:28Yes, sir.
19:29Only the captain isn't in.
19:30He's down at the rec hall, dancing in the show.
19:31Dancing in the show?
19:32He does a mean soft shoe.
19:33My coming a day ahead of time could prove interesting.
19:35Where is this rec hall?
19:37Thank you, thank you, talent worshippers.
19:38I wish I could say I didn't deserve it, but I do.
19:39And now, for the piece de resistance of the evening.
19:40I assume you all know my assistant, Captain Twinkle Toes Binghamton.
19:41Captain Twinkle Toes Binghamton.
19:42Oh, no, go ahead.
19:43Oh, okay.
19:44My coming a day ahead of time could prove interesting.
19:48Where is this rec hall?
19:50Thank you, thank you, talent worshippers.
19:57I wish I could say I didn't deserve it, but I do.
20:00And now, for the piece de resistance of the evening, I assume you all know my assistant,
20:06Captain Twinkle Toes Binghamton.
20:14Well, what a ham. He wants to be in everything.
20:16Thank you. And now, for the big one of the evening,
20:19I shall saw the captain in half.
20:23All right, just a second, Grover. I didn't know about this.
20:26It's not my captain. It's for Chucky.
20:29If you please.
20:31Preparation.
20:35There we go.
20:40Now, don't worry, folks. He's got a 50-50 chance.
20:42Actually, I've done this trick once before.
20:44Poor fellow. Would have been 35 tomorrow.
20:47Well, let's get on with it.
20:49Captain, step right in.
20:50Watch that first step.
20:54There we go. Nice and cozy.
20:58Bye-bye, Captain.
21:05All right, guys. Gently, Grover.
21:07Gently. Gently.
21:09Nothing to worry about, Captain.
21:10I'm bound to be at least half right.
21:17Hey, fellas, pick up the tempo.
21:18We'll get with dying now.
21:18A little faster, like this.
21:19No, not the fingers.
21:21Not the fingers.
21:22Good.
21:23Where am I?
21:29What am I doing up here?
21:31Oh, I'm sewing in half, Captain.
21:33See?
21:34Well, thank heaven for a while there.
21:36I thought you were...
21:37You what?
21:42Good heavens, I'm split.
21:44Put me back together.
21:47Hey, please.
21:48Not in the middle of my act.
21:48I'm going to have you all shot.
21:50Where are the S.P.'s?
21:51Get that.
21:52Bring back my legs.
21:54Close the curtain.
21:55Fast.
21:55Close it.
21:56All right, folks.
21:58That's all for tonight.
21:59I hope you enjoyed the show.
22:00Good night.
22:03Get me out of this thing.
22:04You're all under arrest.
22:06Now, take it easy, Captain.
22:06Just watch the watch.
22:07Let's see it swing to and fro.
22:09You'll swing to and fro
22:10when I get out of here.
22:12I'll tell you that.
22:12Get that thing out of my face.
22:14He's always stinking.
22:15So now, now, now.
22:16Take it easy, sir.
22:16Don't lose your head.
22:18My head, I got it.
22:19It's my feet I want.
22:20Look at them all.
22:20That's ridiculous.
22:21McGill, I'm warning you.
22:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:23You...
22:23Oh, Senator Block.
22:27Senator Block.
22:28Welcome aboard, sir.
22:29Hi, I'm a hypnotist.
22:30He's a hypnotist.
22:32Pardon me for not getting up, Senator.
22:34It's quite all right, Captain.
22:36I understand.
22:37No, you don't understand, sir.
22:38You don't understand at all.
22:39But I'll explain once I get out of this contraption.
22:41Now, don't be so modest.
22:43I just came backstage to congratulate you.
22:46Yes.
22:47You what?
22:48I said I want to congratulate you.
22:49Putting on a show of your own without any outside help.
22:52You're to be commended for what you've done.
22:54Did you hear that, sir?
22:55We're to be commended for what we did.
22:57Binghamton, you're an efficiency expert after my own heart.
23:00Oh, I'm after you, sir.
23:02Oh, well, we try to do things on our own here, Senator.
23:05That's...
23:06We all pitch in together, don't we?
23:08Yes, sir.
23:08Yes, sir.
23:09Oh, and speaking of togetherness, Groob, yes, sir.
23:13That was quite a stunt you put on there,
23:15pretending that you weren't enjoying yourself.
23:17Made the whole stunt even funnier.
23:19Yeah.
23:19Well, we planned it that way, didn't we, boys?
23:22Yes, Groob.
23:23What's the matter, Groob?
23:24Come on.
23:25I don't know how to say this, Skip,
23:26but for the life of me, I forgot how to...
23:27What?
23:29Think, man.
23:30Think.
23:30I'm thinking.
23:30I'm thinking.
23:32Nah, that's for the flower trick.
23:35No, that's not it.
23:36Yes.
23:38Well, you put me...
23:39Well, I'd be doing down here now.
23:41Put me together.
23:41All right, sir.
23:42All right, sir.
23:43Put me together.
23:43You're all going to be...
23:44Hang on, sir.
23:45I don't want to see the one.
23:47I don't want to see the one.
23:52Mail call.
23:53Happy.
23:54Oh, hi.
23:55Tinker.
23:57Christy.
23:58Yeah, thanks, Willie.
23:59Here's a letter for you, Skip.
24:01Oh, thanks, Willie.
24:03Mr. Parker, here's a package for you
24:04and a letter for me.
24:08Hey, you guys.
24:09This letter's for Miss Poffrey.
24:11She wants to thank us and says
24:12the money we sent
24:13got the orphanage back on its feet
24:15and everything's just like it was.
24:17Oh, except the bedtime prayers
24:19take five minutes longer now
24:21to get all our names in.
24:25What you got, Mr. Parker?
24:26I don't know.
24:27I took another aptitude test
24:28for the home correspondence course.
24:31Brain surgery.
24:32Self-taught?
24:33Yeah.
24:34Brain surgery.
24:35Boy, that's even better
24:36than hypnotism.
24:37And look,
24:38they include a scalpel.
24:39Boy.
24:40I don't know.
24:40I don't know.
24:41I don't know.
24:41I don't know.
24:42I don't know.
24:42I don't know.
24:43I don't know.
24:43I don't know.
24:44I don't know.
24:45I don't know.
24:45I don't know.
24:45I don't know.
24:46I don't know.
24:46I don't know.
24:46I don't know.
24:47I don't know.
24:47I don't know.
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