- 9 hours ago
In response to a letter from Gruber and the guys, a glamorous movie star makes the trip to Taratupa, with a plan to create some publicity for herself.
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00:00The End
00:301943
00:30Sounds like I was washed up on some
00:33Shipwrecked
00:35Wait a minute
00:36What if I were really shipwrecked
00:38But all they asked for were some pictures
00:41Just see the headlines
00:43Movie star marooned with love-starved sailors
00:46Oh, that's perfect, Frances
00:48Had the studio call the Navy and tell them I want to visit this
00:51This terra tupa as soon as possible
00:53Well, Miss St. Clair, it could be dangerous
00:55I've read how sailors are with girls
00:57Dangerous?
00:59This bunch? Why, they look about as dangerous as the seven dwarves
01:02Besides, they worship me
01:05Why else would they beg me to send them 200 pictures?
01:09All right, Groove, I got a hand of you
01:11This is the greatest racket we've had yet
01:12Yeah, personally autographed pictures of movie stars
01:14Is a buck a throw
01:15Why, it's a gold mine
01:15How's this sound?
01:17To Corporal Stanley Dombrowski
01:19My favorite Marine
01:21I await you passionately
01:23Love, Mimi
01:25Beautiful, beautiful
01:28Now let's finish her up
01:29Fuji
01:29Front and center
01:31What a prisoner of war has to go through
01:35All right
01:36Put it on
01:37Kiss, kiss, kiss
01:39Arm,ięcy, man
01:41Shall we
01:56Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll
02:27Here we go again, Samurai Pucker Up.
02:29Okay, but this last one, Pat Rose needs a little love, too.
02:35Give a little kiss.
02:37Good.
02:38Hurry back, hot lips.
02:40All right, let's move it, guys.
02:41We got orders to fill.
02:42Let me see.
02:42We got orders for six Rita Haywards, four Ginger Rogers, a dozen pictures of Trigger.
02:47Trigger?
02:47Yeah, from that Army Cavalry Unit.
02:49I've been out here a long time.
02:51Get in, Hutton.
02:52Get in, Hutton.
02:54All right, your bandits freeze.
02:55All right, what are these?
02:56The secret photographs you're selling to the Nips?
02:58To Private Irving Schwinn, yours till VJ Day.
03:02I adore you, Rita Hayworth.
03:04What is that, a secret code?
03:06I ask, what's wrong with the boys collecting autographed pictures of their favorite motion picture stars, huh?
03:11Hey, wow, a genuine Mimi St. Clair autograph.
03:15Let me see that.
03:15To Corporal Stanley Dombrowski.
03:18That, well, that's wet.
03:22They're all wet.
03:23These are forgeries.
03:24Oh, now, now, ease off, will you, Captain?
03:26You're making a mountain out of a molehill here.
03:28No, I'm making jailbirds out of these saves.
03:30Get your gear together.
03:32Jailbirds?
03:33Now, wait a minute, Captain.
03:34On what charges?
03:35Marjorie.
03:36Bilking innocent servicemen.
03:37Wartime profiteering.
03:39Now, you say your tender goodbyes to them, and you ferry these goons over to the brig by 1,500 hours.
03:44They're finished.
03:45Kaput.
03:46All right, you drop your evidence, sir.
03:47Here, I'll get it.
03:48Thank you, sir.
03:59This is graceful, although I imagine those con artists defiling a picture of Miss Mimi St. Clair.
04:04Oh, you're so right, sir.
04:05The nerve of them treating America's sweetheart like a cheap, ordinary pin-up girl.
04:10Although she does have a rather nice figure, sir.
04:13Yes, she does, don't she?
04:15Got curves she hasn't even used yet.
04:17Oh, shut up, you swallowing Mimi.
04:22Binghamton here.
04:24Oh, Admiral Rogers.
04:25Yes, how sweet of you to call.
04:27You, lucky dog, I've got great news for you.
04:30My promotion, it came through?
04:33Oh, stop with the jokes, Binghamton.
04:35It's about Miss Mimi St. Clair.
04:37I just heard from the Navy Department she's flying down to Tarotuba.
04:41Well, I thought at least this time for sure.
04:44All right, Mimi St. Clair is coming here.
04:48Oh, you sly bird. How did you manage it?
04:51Well, um...
04:52Well, you just make sure that Miss St. Clair has a terrific time.
04:56I only wish I could be there with you.
04:58Oh, you do?
05:00Well, why don't I bring her up to Comfleet and introduce you to her, Admiral?
05:04Usually she just loves to meet all of my friends.
05:07Sir, you don't even know Miss St. Clair.
05:10Hey, that sounds marvelous.
05:12We might even have a little cocktail party.
05:15Invite all the other admirals.
05:17Oh, Wally?
05:19All the other ad...
05:21Yes, that'd be marvelous, Bruce.
05:24Oh, what a star has to go through these days to get her face on the front page.
05:39Hey, hey, hey.
05:40Oh, hello.
05:41Woo-hoo!
05:43Hey!
05:44Hey, boy, look at the way.
05:46Hey, look at the way.
05:46Hey, look at the way.
05:47Oh, sure, she's here.
05:50She's here, sir, Miss St. Clair.
05:51She's here.
05:52All right.
05:52Mr. Zanifoy, with the hat.
05:54Now, the makeup case are going to break the bottle.
05:55Now, just drop them pretty gently.
05:57Put them down.
05:58Just put your scrap...
05:59Oh, against the door.
06:00Oh, good.
06:00Oh, please, don't do that.
06:01Just gently.
06:02Just gently.
06:02I'll do that.
06:03Just put them down gently.
06:05Oh, boy.
06:05Just put them down gently.
06:05Captain, go.
06:06Go.
06:07Oh, Miss St. Clair.
06:10Oh, go, boys, go.
06:13Welcome to our little fortress in the South Pacific.
06:16I'm Captain Wally Binghamton, and if I may say so, you are even more lovely in person
06:22than you are on the silver screen.
06:25Thank you, Captain.
06:26And I'm Lieutenant Elroy Carpenter, and may I say, I thought you were just terrific in
06:29Passion Takes a Holiday.
06:31Oh, Passion Takes a Holiday.
06:32Oh, you were.
06:33Well, I tell you, when I said...
06:35Well, you stole the whole picture.
06:37Stole it, Captain?
06:38I don't know how.
06:39I wasn't even in it.
06:40That's what I mean.
06:42When you...
06:42You weren't in there.
06:44She wasn't.
06:45What's the matter with you?
06:46She doesn't make those two-bit quickies, you dope.
06:49Oh, he's...
06:50Now, Miss St. Clair, we planned a very exciting day for you.
06:54Mimi, if I may.
06:56We were going to start off with a tour of the base laundry.
07:02That's all very nice, Captain, but when do I get to meet the boys from PT-73?
07:08Well, first we're going to go to the Admiral's party.
07:10See, now, all the big brass is going to be there.
07:13They're all the boys on the 73.
07:18You can't mean that.
07:20But I do, Captain.
07:21They're wonderful boys.
07:22Fans of mine keep sending for my pictures.
07:25Fine bunch of men.
07:26True credit to our country.
07:28Oh, sir, that's why she's...
07:29Interrupting a big movie star like Miss St. Clair.
07:33Oh, what's wrong, Captain?
07:36Nothing's happened to the boys from the 73, has it?
07:39Happened to the boys.
07:41Yes, yes.
07:42As a matter of fact, something did happen to them.
07:44They had a little mishap.
07:47They were all lost at sea.
07:51Lost at sea?
07:52But, look, sir, we just saw them.
07:54That could be...
07:55We just saw them.
07:56We just saw them go down.
07:57No, it was...
07:58They hit a whale.
08:00You see, all hands were lost.
08:01It was terrible.
08:02Oh, my.
08:03This is terrible.
08:04How awful.
08:05Those poor men.
08:08Holy shit.
08:10Why, excuse me, Captain.
08:11I can't just see I'm busy here.
08:14I can't.
08:14Oh, look, Captain.
08:16Now, the crew of the 73 is reporting the main side like you wanted.
08:19But I'd like to ask you to reconsider, sir.
08:21You see, our problem...
08:23The 73?
08:23Are you men from the 73?
08:26My, Captain, I thought you said they drowned.
08:28Oh, did I say that?
08:30Did I?
08:30The captain said we drowned?
08:32What's going on here, Captain?
08:33Well, I can see you've been rescued.
08:36Congratulations, Michael.
08:36Good to see you got dry uniforms and everything.
08:39Captain, call the chaplain and have them cancel the service.
08:41Hey, you're Mimi St. Clair.
08:45Oh, boy.
08:46Oh, I don't have an autograph.
08:47Could you autograph my shirt, Taylor?
08:50Put that away, will you?
08:51Now, look, Captain.
08:53What's going on here?
08:54Shame on you, Captain.
08:56Trying to keep me all to yourself.
08:58Hi, you fellas.
08:59Let's go.
09:00I'm just dying to meet the rest of the crew.
09:02Oh, but you can't do that, Miss St. Clair.
09:04You see, the captain just ordered them into the brig.
09:06What about that, Captain?
09:09Well, I was too embarrassed to tell you.
09:11But you see, the truth of the matter is they're just a bunch of robbers and cheaters.
09:14That's all they do all the time.
09:15They just rob, rob, rob, cheat, cheat, cheat.
09:17Now, now, hold it, Captain.
09:18Hold it.
09:18Now, don't you believe it, Miss?
09:20There's not a word of it.
09:20There's not a word of it.
09:21There's not a word of it.
09:21There's true.
09:22Yeah, he's just jealous because we know how to make the most out of a war.
09:24All the nerve making such awful accusations on such a fine bunch of men.
09:29Why, it makes me want to pick up the phone and call my good friend FDR.
09:32FDR, you mean Mr. President?
09:38Good, then it's settled.
09:39Not another word against the 73 crew, shall we?
09:42Who am I to argue?
09:44Well, look at the admiral and his party.
09:46Forget the admiral.
09:47I want to be with the boys.
09:48Let's go, Commander.
09:49I'm just dying to raise a little morale around here.
09:53Be my guest.
09:55Cheaters never prosper.
09:56It must be a mirage.
10:06Oh, it couldn't be.
10:08But it is.
10:09Mimi St. Clair.
10:10In the flesh.
10:11And what flesh?
10:13Well, here you are, Miss St. Clair.
10:17The boys of the 73.
10:19Please take us there.
10:20Hold it, hold it, hold it.
10:22Fellas, thanks to Mimi here,
10:24and the Captain has dropped all charges against you.
10:27Yay!
10:29Gee, thanks, fellas.
10:30Anything to help our little old war effort.
10:33What am I going to do, Elroy?
10:36I've got all of this brass waiting to meet Mimi.
10:40If I don't get that vixen away from Mikhail,
10:42I tell you, she's going to ruin my career.
10:45Well, sir, why don't you just give her an order?
10:47After all, you're a Captain and you do outrun her.
10:50Why don't I just give her an order?
10:51Yes, sir.
10:52Oh, they're going to come and get you, one of these.
10:54I can't order a movie star.
10:56All I can order is...
10:58Well, wait a minute.
10:59I can order Mikhail.
11:01I can order him to sea.
11:03I can order him far, far, far away to sea.
11:05I'm going to get to the radio.
11:07All right, hold it.
11:08All I can see, D-73.
11:10Now, hear this.
11:11This is your Captain speaking.
11:13Hey, that's old Ludbottom on the radio.
11:14What the heck does he want?
11:16Are we hooked in?
11:17Yeah.
11:18Yes, sir, Captain.
11:20Mikhail, you and your crew are to move out to sea immediately.
11:24A recon mission to Manacoo Island.
11:27Manacoo Island?
11:28Captain, you must be kidding.
11:29That's a deserted rock.
11:31No one's ever set foot on there.
11:33Well, good.
11:34You can claim it for our country.
11:36Don't forget to plant a flag.
11:38Now, move out.
11:38Out, out, out.
11:39Aye, aye, sir.
11:41Here.
11:43Well, of all that...
11:44That lead bottom is sending us out on a phony reconnaissance mission again.
11:48I knew this was too good to be true.
11:50Oh, Commander, since you're going out to sea, well, I thought maybe that I might just go
11:56along for the ride.
11:57Hey, that's a great idea.
11:58This is going to be a fun war after all.
12:00Hey, Skip, why couldn't we just log her aboard as 108 pounds of dynamite?
12:04Hold it, hold it, hold it, belay it.
12:08Now, you guys know there's still a war out there.
12:10I'm sorry, Miss St. Clair.
12:12Yeah, the Americans versus the Japanese.
12:14It's been in all the papers.
12:14But I won't get in the way, Commander.
12:17I promise.
12:18Why, I'll even pitch in and button down a hatch or whatever it is you do.
12:22Uh, it's, uh, a baton.
12:25Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, but the answer is still no, and that's an order.
12:28All right, boys, come on.
12:29We're a little low on ammunition.
12:30Go over to the ordinance.
12:31Let's draw some.
12:32Let's go.
12:32Bye-bye, ma'am.
12:33I'll send you negative, Miss St. Clair.
12:35All right, ma'am.
12:35Oh, thank you, boys.
12:37You know, Miss St. Clair, actually, I'm glad you're not going out to sea with them.
12:40Oh, but I am, sweetie.
12:41I came 4,000 miles to make the front pages, and nothing is going to stop me.
12:46But you heard them.
12:47They're going on a mission.
12:48Yes, but they're taking the stowaway.
12:50Oh, I wish I could see Joan Crawford's face when she reads that Mimi St. Clair has been shipwrecked.
12:56Shipwrecked?
12:57But you're not really going to...
12:59Oh, this is crazy.
13:01Oh, I'm scared.
13:02That's why you're a secretary and I'm a star.
13:05Help me aboard.
13:11Oh, my dear.
13:32Would you tell Miss St. Clair that I'm here to take her to the Admiral's party?
13:38Well, I'd like to, but at the moment, she's not here.
13:42If you'd like to leave a message.
13:45Leave a message?
13:46I'm a naval officer.
13:47What do I look like to you, a carrier pigeon or something?
13:50You see feathers on me, do you, do you, do you?
13:52Well, no, sir.
13:54Of course you don't, because there aren't any.
13:56If I told her, huh?
13:57All right, where is she?
13:58Where, where, where?
13:58Well, I'd like to tell you, sir, but it's a secret, and I'm not supposed to tell.
14:04Well, you'd better tell, because this is not a Hollywood set, you know.
14:08This is a real naval base, and I'm a real base commander.
14:12Now, where is she?
14:13Where, where, where, where, where?
14:14Well, she's out on the 73.
14:17Better.
14:17Out in the 73, all right.
14:20You mean she's at sea on the 73?
14:23I told her not to go.
14:23I told her.
14:24Oh, this is awful, those cutthroats, those kidnappers.
14:27I'll have to radio McHale and order him to turn around at once.
14:30Oh, I wonder if admirals want to scream as badly as captains do.
14:37All right, come on, you guys, let's get this reconnaissance over with.
14:40Hey, Skip, can you imagine having to leave a doll like that Mimi?
14:43It was worse than saying goodbye to my mother when I was drafted.
14:46All right, all right, stop your griping.
14:48The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we get back.
14:50Now, come on, spread out.
14:52All right, you guys, now remember the signal if you see any danger.
14:54Fire three shots in the air, and try not to hit any birds.
14:58Come on.
14:59Well, you don't want to hurt any birds.
15:08There, now.
15:09This thingamajig should keep the engine from starting.
15:13And the New York Times once said I was all body and no brains.
15:17All right, PT-73, come in.
15:19Calling the PT-73, come in.
15:22I know you're out there, you kidnappers.
15:24Now you come in.
15:25Hello?
15:26Testing.
15:27One, two, three.
15:28Testing.
15:29How now, brown cow?
15:33How now, brown...
15:34Some drunken nurse has broken into the radio shack.
15:38You'll get off the line, you wino.
15:39This is an emergency.
15:41Hello, Captain.
15:42It's just little old me.
15:43Little old who, me?
15:46Who, who?
15:48Mimi?
15:48Is that Mimi?
15:49Oh, you poor thing.
15:51What are you doing out there?
15:52What have they done to you?
15:53Oh, now, Captain, don't blame it on the boys.
15:56Why, a shipwreck could happen to anybody.
15:58A shipwreck?
15:59You can't be shipwrecked.
16:01What about the Admiral's Cocktail Party?
16:03Now you turn around, you get back here, I'll put you on report.
16:06Oh, Captain, by all means, do report it.
16:08Call the press, the wire services, the magazines.
16:11Call everybody.
16:14Press, well, if they find out, oh, this is awful.
16:17Put McHale on there, sober him up, put him on.
16:19I'm hanging up now, so, uh, toodaloo.
16:23No, no, no, wait, wait, don't toodaloo.
16:26Don't hang up when you're toodaloo.
16:27What do I tell the Admiral?
16:29Yes, what will you tell the Admiral?
16:31Well, I'll make up some cockamamie story, I don't...
16:34Yes, who was I talking to on the radio?
16:37The radio?
16:38That was, uh, they're talking to the boys.
16:40There's maneuvers, Admiral.
16:41They're on maneuvers.
16:42Keep those ships on a straight course,
16:44and then keep zigzagging them,
16:46and watch out for subs.
16:48Oh, belay the dribble, Begerton.
16:50Now, where is the lovely Miss St. Clair?
16:53I flew down here to surprise her.
16:54I'm going to escort her to the party in style,
16:56in my private plane.
16:59On your private plane, you're going to...
17:01Isn't that nice, Elroy, in private plane?
17:03Oh, yes, sir, but it's a shame
17:04she stuck out on the 73 and won't be...
17:06Yeah, Elroy, you, uh, you talk to this man,
17:08you keep them, uh, zigzagging, sir.
17:10Did he say the 73?
17:12Do you mean you allowed Miss St. Clair
17:14to go out on a PT boat?
17:16Well, I, I, just for a little spin, Admiral.
17:18Oh, yes, sir, just a little trip
17:20over to Manicoe Island, sir.
17:22Manicoe Island?
17:24Binghamton, didn't you read the intelligence report?
17:26A Japanese fleet unit is steaming
17:28toward Manicoe Island right now.
17:29Oh, no, poor Mimi.
17:32A Japanese fleet?
17:34If anything happened to Miss St. Clair,
17:36the whole country will be on our necks.
17:38Oh, I know, this is when we'll have to go
17:39and rescue her, Admiral.
17:40Come on, let's take the 116
17:42and see if we can get the Manicoe
17:44before it's too late.
17:44Oh, Admiral, look, I'm under-secretary,
17:46and let me go with you, please.
17:48She may be hurt, she may need me.
17:49Now, don't be silly, you're just a woman.
17:50The Admiral and I can handle this.
17:52You can't handle anything, Binghamton.
17:53You've done enough already.
17:55Come on, Miss, you could probably be of some help.
17:57Certainly more than the captain here.
17:58She's all soft.
18:00I'm a man, I'm strong.
18:01I can push and lift and pull.
18:03Do I feel my muscle, Admiral?
18:05That's just as I expected.
18:07That old lead bottom.
18:08There's no living thing on this crummy island.
18:11Come on, boys, we'll shove off
18:12and get back to Tarotupa.
18:14Hi, you shipmates.
18:16Quiet, will you?
18:17Can't see your skips talking?
18:19For the living.
18:20What are you doing here?
18:22Somebody pinch me quick.
18:23It's Mimi St. Clair.
18:24I don't believe it.
18:25Female first-class Mimi St. Clair
18:27reporting for duty.
18:28All right, Miss Mimi St. Clair, first-class.
18:31Now, what's the big idea?
18:33I thought I told you you couldn't come along.
18:35Tinker, will you?
18:36Get on those engines quick.
18:37Oh, Commander, how could a big, strong man like you
18:40get mad at a little bitty thing like me?
18:43Because poor little itty-bitty thing like you
18:46can get great big ass a big peck of trouble.
18:49That's why.
18:50Now, come on, Tinker, let her rip.
18:52That's Navy talk, but let's get the heck out of here.
18:54Hey, Skip, there's something wrong.
18:56A distributor wire is missing.
18:58What do you mean a distributor wire is missing?
19:01Hey, wait a minute.
19:03You.
19:04Me?
19:04Yeah, you.
19:06Oh, Commander, what in the world would I want with the wire
19:09from your silly little old watcher, McCall?
19:12Actress stranded on island with bunch of sailors.
19:15Huh?
19:16How's that for publicity deal?
19:18Sounds pretty good, doesn't it, Mimi?
19:20Oh, Commander, how could you possibly think such a thing?
19:25Well, I'm really crushed.
19:27Yeah, I'll bet.
19:28Now, come on, hand it over.
19:30Hey, Skip, there's an imp destroyer on there!
19:34Holy jumping hammer, we're sitting ducks.
19:36Now, look, will you give us that wire
19:38or are you going to be blowing a smithereens?
19:39Oh, yes, I never expected here.
19:41Take it.
19:41Come on, here you go.
19:42Take, let's go, buddy.
19:43Hey, come on, you guys, run your battle station.
19:47Mr. Parker, get her below and keep her down there.
19:49Oh, yes, get me below, please.
19:51I had no idea.
19:51Oh, I don't want to get hurt.
19:53Oh!
19:55Boy, we've been around.
19:56Oh, don't worry, Skip.
19:57I got my hand well in the situation.
19:59I got the situation well in hand.
20:02You sure loved your last picture.
20:03Come on, will you give us...
20:13Christy, let's take her home.
20:18Heading 209.
20:19Hey, Skip, message from Admiral Rogers aboard the 116.
20:22Admiral Rogers?
20:23What's he doing out in the 116?
20:25They're heading from Monaco Island to rescue us.
20:27He thinks we're still out there.
20:28Oh, for crying out loud.
20:30Well, radio him back and tell him we're heading home.
20:32Right.
20:33Man, for Pete's sake, will you tell him we got Mimi aboard safe and sound?
20:37Right, Skip.
20:37Movie stars, Ned Bottom, Monaco, brother.
20:42Hi, Skip.
20:43Had a little trouble securing my battle station.
20:52Hey, Skip, look, the 116 boat beat us in.
20:56Yeah.
20:57And, boy, look at that mob scene.
20:59That's no mob scene, Quentin.
21:01That's the press, and they're, oh, waiting for me.
21:03Bless their pointed little pencils.
21:08It's true, it's true, gentlemen.
21:10Every word of it.
21:11While the 116 was being attacked by Japanese Zeros,
21:14this little lady was on board the entire action.
21:16The first American woman ever to participate in a naval engagement.
21:20Yeah.
21:21Well, I really didn't do anything.
21:22I was in the cabin the whole time.
21:24I never stopped knitting the whole time.
21:26I never even helped pass the ammunition.
21:29One more shot.
21:30Here we go.
21:31All right, let's get a little zing.
21:34A little zing right over here.
21:35Here we are.
21:36All right.
21:38How's this?
21:39Oh, my God.
21:41So, well.
21:44She's a wonderful little lady,
21:45and I'm the one responsible for bringing her here.
21:47You see, my name's Binghamton.
21:48That's with a B.
21:49There's no P in the middle.
21:50It's Captain Wallace Burton Binghamton,
21:52and I was born in a log cabin in Youngstown, Ohio.
21:55Binghamton, will you please stop trying to horn in?
21:57Well, that's good journalism.
21:59Yeah, I know.
22:00I'm sure you gentlemen wanted to ask some questions of our little heroine.
22:03Yes, yes.
22:03All right, Admiral.
22:04Hey, let's get a picture of the Admiral and the doll.
22:06Well, all right.
22:07Oh, sir, look.
22:12Mimi, I've got to get to her quick,
22:18and I can introduce you to the press.
22:20I made her shipwreck possible.
22:21Why shouldn't I share the headlines?
22:25All right, Captain.
22:26What's all the excitement about?
22:28Mimi, Mimi, they're taking pictures.
22:29We're not in them.
22:30Not in them?
22:30What are you talking about?
22:31That secretary of yours, that busybody,
22:34she takes a little boat ride,
22:35she comes back a big celebrity to sneak.
22:37Well, we'll soon see about that.
22:39Oh, boys, it's me, Mimi,
22:41the shipwrecked movie star.
22:43Boy, have I got a story for you.
22:46But now, wait a minute, Mimi.
22:48We don't want any publicity out of this.
22:50McHale, you keep on.
22:51Who said we'd...
22:52Yoo-hoo, boys.
22:53It's me and Mimi.
22:56What in place is that, Binghamton?
22:58He'll do anything to get his picture in the paper.
23:00And the same goes for that Mimi St. Clair.
23:03All right.
23:04Hold it, Francis.
23:05Come on.
23:05Here we go.
23:06There we are.
23:07That's fine.
23:08Yo-ho.
23:10Yeah.
23:11Oh, it's no use.
23:12All I'm interested in
23:13is that darn secretary of yours
23:15to show off.
23:16I'll take care of that.
23:18Here.
23:20Hey!
23:25Hey!
23:25Hey, no!
23:26Don't!
23:27Don't!
23:28Don't!
23:30You better get out of that war
23:31or it's off limits to civilians.
23:33Help!
23:34Save me!
23:35I'm drowning!
23:37One more now.
23:38Well, don't just stand there,
23:39you big clunt.
23:40Save her.
23:40Oh, she's not drowning, Captain.
23:42Can't you see this?
23:43It's just a publicity stunt.
23:44All she wants to do
23:45is to track those reporters.
23:47The reporters?
23:48Is that what she...
23:48Wait for me.
23:50We'll share the headlines.
23:51No, no, no, no!
23:53Captain!
23:54You can't swim!
23:56You're right.
23:56I can't swim.
23:57Help!
23:57Help me!
23:58Help me!
24:00Hiya, Captain.
24:03We just came by
24:04to see how you were feeling.
24:06Oh, I just feel fit as a piddle.
24:08Oh.
24:08How do you think I feel
24:09after nearly drowning?
24:10Yes?
24:11Well, here, sir.
24:12We brought you something
24:13that might cheer you up.
24:14Take a look at that.
24:17That's a picture of me drowning.
24:19Where did you get this?
24:20Oh, Gruber took it
24:21when you're coming up
24:22for the third time.
24:23Would you autograph it, please?
24:25Autograph?
24:25You mean you're selling these, too?
24:28Well, you gotta admit, sir,
24:29a Navy officer can't swim
24:30as a real collector's item.
24:32I'll autograph your nose
24:34with my fist.
24:35Get at it!
24:36No, no!
24:36No!
24:36Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
25:06The End
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