- 2 days ago
Binghamton tries to impress Parker's Uncle, an Admiral, but the Admiral is uncomfortable with Parker's combat role and orders him to pack his bags.
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00:00Well, mates, we should be ready for action by Saturday, huh?
00:06Ah, yes. Let's make it a heartwarming experience for those sea-weary, homesick boys at the task force.
00:13Rest assured, Tink, every man that comes ashore will be leaving a little bit of himself on McHale's Island.
00:20Hey!
00:22Seven!
00:23Get rid of them, Hap, will ya?
00:27What do they want?
00:30Mr. Marcus, sir, I told you once, I told you a dozen times, you can't come in here.
00:36Now, look, Gruber, while the skipper's in New Caledonia, I'm the commanding officer here, and I have a right to beat.
00:45Hey! Air raid! Enemy attack!
00:47Get the show ahead on the double!
00:51Hey, you guys! Hold it!
00:55Wait for me!
01:00There goes all our equipment.
01:11Ah, you foreign devils!
01:12You'll pay for this atrocity!
01:14How could you?
01:16My own people.
01:17What are you?
01:18How could you say?
01:47Come in.
02:03I beg your pardon, sir, but this signal just came in from Pearl Harbor.
02:06Sir, you're going to have a very distinguished visitor tomorrow.
02:08Vice Admiral T.J. Parker of Naval Operations, sir.
02:12Uh-oh.
02:13Vice Admiral Parker is the one they call Bulldog Parker.
02:16They tell me he's a holy terror on inspection to us.
02:20Well, at least with McHale away, I've got a fighting chance to keep the Admiral from declaring this base a slum area.
02:27But, sir, I don't think you have to worry about any inspection.
02:30He's just stopping off here briefly on his way to Comfleet, sir.
02:32Why is he stopping here?
02:34Sir, Admiral Parker is a ranking member of the promotion board.
02:39That's right, he is, isn't he?
02:40Yes, sir.
02:41Yeah, think he's coming here to look me over?
02:44And why not, sir?
02:45Taratuba has the best combat record of any PT base in the South Pacific.
02:48Uh-huh, it does, doesn't it?
02:49Yes, sir.
02:52Rear Admiral Wallace B. Binghamton has a nice ring to it.
02:55Yes, sir.
02:56You have a ring?
02:56Oh, I do.
02:57All right.
02:58Tell all hands.
02:59I want this base to shine like the eagle on my collar, which may soon turn into two stars, sir.
03:05Aye, aye, sir.
03:06Aye.
03:06What about McHale's Island, sir?
03:08Oh, McHale's Island.
03:09I ought to blow it up.
03:10That's what I ought to do with McHale's Island, but I don't have time.
03:13So I'll go over there personally.
03:14I'll tell Ensign Parker that he's...
03:16Oh, sir, I just had a thought.
03:17Well, that's a switch.
03:18Sir, I was just thinking.
03:19Ensign Parker?
03:20Admiral Parker?
03:21Do you think by any chance they could be related, sir?
03:23That was your thought, was it?
03:28A bubble head like Ensign Parker related to Bulldog Parker.
03:32Why, before he'd put up with a pea brain like that in his family, he'd go down with his ship if he had to sink it himself.
03:38Yes, Parker related to...
03:40They're a bubble head, too.
03:45You think you can fix it?
03:47I don't know.
03:48Has to be balanced just right, or this crazy gizmo's liable to pay off every time.
03:52Pay off?
03:53Watch your language.
03:54You wish that even if we get this stuff fixed by Saturday, where are we going to put it?
03:57Now, you've got to think positive, man.
03:59All we've got to do is find a new location for our casino.
04:03Now, fellas, Parker says all hands report on the double.
04:07Report?
04:07What for?
04:08We're busy, man.
04:09Oh, weapons drill, he say.
04:11Weapons drill?
04:12What's the matter with him?
04:12He acts like there's a war on him.
04:14Yeah, that's right.
04:19Excuse me, sir.
04:20Last a minute, carpenter.
04:21Sir, that's another word for numbskull.
04:24I'm writing my report on Ensign Parker.
04:27Sir, perhaps you'd better read this message first, because it's about Ensign Parker.
04:30Yeah, what does it say about him?
04:31Wow, wow, wow.
04:31I don't believe it, sir.
04:32I read it over and over, and it just doesn't make sense.
04:33Could you stop mumbling and tell me what it says?
04:36He's Vice Admiral Parker's nephew, sir.
04:38Well, naturally.
04:39Anybody can tell to look at him.
04:43He's the Admiral's nephew, sir.
04:44And this message requests that the Ensign be available when the Admiral arrives.
04:47It's as you said, sir.
04:48It just doesn't seem possible that a man like Admiral Parker could be a blood relative to that...
04:52that little numbskull.
04:54Carpenter, are you insinuating that I would say anything derogatory about an esteemed fellow officer?
05:01Oh, but sir, you just asked me a minute ago.
05:03If I said anything at all, I said that Parker has certain qualifications that can take him a long way in this man's Navy.
05:12Oh, come on, you guys.
05:28You're supposed to be painy.
05:29Any minute now, Skipper.
05:30As soon as Tinker gets the hose hooked up to the bilge pump, we spray the joint.
05:33Yeah, well, hurry up.
05:34I'm in enough trouble with the captain as it is.
05:36Okay, gang.
05:37She's ready.
05:38Now, how do you know that thing's gonna work?
05:40Oh, here.
05:40You're our leader.
05:41Try it.
05:42Well, hold it.
05:47Hey, that's not bad.
05:49Give me a little more pressure, Tank.
05:54Hold the pressure.
05:57Sorry, sir.
05:58I'll report right to the brig as soon as I get your brush off.
06:02Oh, it's you, Parker.
06:03Yes, sir.
06:04You couldn't help that boy, could you?
06:06That was just an accident.
06:08And as soon as I serve my duty as semen second class, sir, I'd sure appreciate it.
06:11If you'd just...
06:12What'd you say, sir?
06:15I said I was an accident, Parker.
06:17You couldn't help it.
06:18As my old New England grandmother used to say, no offense intended, no offense taken.
06:22He's flipped.
06:26Your old grandmother.
06:27You mean, sir, you're not mad at me?
06:31I'm mad at you, boy.
06:33I like you.
06:34I like you, boy.
06:35I've had my eye on you for a long time.
06:37As a matter of fact, I said to myself this morning, I said, oh, Parker, I said, it's a promotion, I said.
06:44Promotion?
06:45Me?
06:47Promotion?
06:48Well, maybe not in rank right away, boy, but eventually, as my new aide, you'll have the appropriate stripes.
06:56Uh, sir, why don't you let me take you over to sick bay, sir?
07:00Now, many men crack up under these conditions.
07:02It's nothing to be ashamed of.
07:03I mean, that's what I like about you, boy, you're humble.
07:06You're humble, you're humble, and I like that.
07:08Now, let's go in my office, which you'll share with me, of course, and I'll explain all your new duties to you.
07:13First of all, you're going to be in charge of the preparations for the visit tomorrow of Vice Admiral Parker.
07:19Vice Admiral Parker, yes.
07:20You mean Uncle Tim's coming here?
07:22Uncle, where did you go?
07:23Uncle Tim?
07:24Uncle, he's your, Vice Admiral Parker, and you're pulling my leg.
07:29My uncle on my father's side, that's why we have the same name.
07:32Heavens to Fred, what a small world this is, boy.
07:36Now, you come along, Charles, and I'll explain your new duties to you.
07:39Don't stumble or anything.
07:43His uncle's an admiral.
07:46What, good old Parker, is the captain's aide?
07:47It's like having a license to steal.
07:49You mean we're back in business?
07:51Of course.
07:52We'll set up a casino right here on the base.
07:54What about those shore patrol guys?
07:56Yeah.
07:57What about those guys, huh?
08:02I don't know, you guys.
08:06I want this to be a pleasant assignment for you, but golly, shore patrol?
08:09We're only doing it in your interest, sir.
08:11Just the captain's aide.
08:12You need men you can count on.
08:14Yeah, but shore patrol?
08:15Oh, that's right, sir.
08:16Listen, we stayed up all night sewing on these armbands.
08:19Yeah, but you wouldn't want Commander McHale to think you weren't loyal to your old shipmates.
08:23He'd think you want Navy on us.
08:25Yeah.
08:25I've got the orders all made out, sir.
08:27Well, here, use my chest.
08:31Thank you, sir.
08:32The captain's a lucky man having an aide like you.
08:36Right face.
08:38Come on.
08:38Hatch.
08:47Afternoon, sir.
08:49Chuck, how's my aide this fine day?
08:52Just fine, sir.
08:53Just fine.
08:53Oh, that's fine, fine.
08:54I brought you a little present, Chuck.
08:57It's sort of a welcome to the staff gift.
08:59Oh, thank you, sir.
09:01That's real salty.
09:03Salty.
09:03Oh, dear.
09:05Allow me, uh, would you, Chuck?
09:07There we go.
09:09Oh, there you are.
09:11What are you laughing about, boy?
09:13What's the...
09:13You're tickling me, sir.
09:14Oh.
09:15I'm sorry about that.
09:17Excuse me, sir.
09:18Message just received from Vice Admiral Parker's plane, sir.
09:20Message just received from Vice Admiral Parker's plane.
09:22What is the message?
09:24What, what, what, what?
09:24What's the message?
09:25Come on, speak up.
09:26Boy, the evidence is waiting here.
09:27What, what, what, what?
09:27Come on.
09:27The Admiral's plane will be landing in ten minutes, sir.
09:31The Admiral will be landing in ten minutes, sir.
09:32Hey, no, I heard him.
09:34He heard you.
09:35Yes, I heard him.
09:36I mean, thank you, boy.
09:40When you aide, you really aide, don't you?
09:42Oh, that's a good one, Wally.
09:45Good, I guess.
09:46You told the Admiral I'll meet his plane.
09:48I want to bring him over here and introduce him to my new aide.
09:51Yes, he did.
09:52Why don't get the captain's hat?
09:53Come on, boy.
09:53Come on, come on.
09:54Snap it up.
09:54Open the door.
09:55Let's go.
09:55Let's move, man.
09:56I'll never be an aide, sir.
09:58Whoa.
09:58Well, so that's Taratupa, huh?
10:08I'm surprised it's still there, knowing my nephew's talent for catastrophe.
10:13Now, sir, aren't you being a little hard on the boy just because he's a relative?
10:17Well, now, Bill, you're forcing me to say it, so I'll say it.
10:19My nephew is a blithering nitwit.
10:21Well, they say there's one in every family, but believe me, not like little Charlie.
10:26Well, surely, sir, you must have some feeling for the boy.
10:29After all, you're making a special stop to see him.
10:31I promised his mother she's worried about him.
10:34But not half as worried as I am.
10:37Bill, it's foul-ups like little Charlie who could lose this war for us.
10:45Captain, just what is all the mystery here?
10:47Why didn't Denson Parker meet the plane?
10:50Just what kind of trouble is the boy in?
10:52Not trouble.
10:53On the contrary, sir, I couldn't operate this base without him.
10:56You couldn't?
10:57If you could just step in here, sir.
10:59I'd like to have him meet my aide.
11:03Hi, Uncle Tim.
11:06What's this?
11:07I mean, Uncle Admo.
11:09He's your aide?
11:10Yes, affirmative, sir.
11:12And I must say he is one of the most conscientious and loyal staff officers I've ever had.
11:18Well, you know how we Parkers are, sir.
11:20We give everything we have to the Navy.
11:22How's Aunt Clara, Cousin Humphrey?
11:23Oh, Aunt Clara's just fine.
11:25Cousin Humphrey?
11:26That's it.
11:27Well, yeah.
11:28Well, my boy, I must say that I'm relieved.
11:31I mean, happy that you have a desk job.
11:33Oh, correction, if I may, sir.
11:35He also functions as a combat officer.
11:37He's the executive officer of PT-73.
11:39I signed in there myself, purely on merit, you understand?
11:45You're a combat officer?
11:46Oh, yes, sir, yes, sir.
11:47You see, while Commander McHale's away, well, I'm the skipper.
11:50Yes, sir.
11:51Respectfully request next dangerous mission, sir.
11:53Oh, gentlemen, I think we ought to sit down and talk this over quietly.
12:01I don't want to interfere, Captain.
12:06Excuse me, sir.
12:07Yes, Commander.
12:07Just had word from Conflict.
12:08They've set the meeting up and request you proceed immediately.
12:11Oh, well, very well.
12:13That little talk will have to wait until I've returned.
12:16In the meantime, Captain, carry on.
12:19We'll be looking forward to it, sir.
12:20Bye-bye, Uncle Admiral.
12:21Anchors away!
12:25All right, we have to push off, sir.
12:26How'd it go?
12:26Well, Bill, let me put it this way.
12:29Either a miracle has happened to my nephew, or that Captain Binghamton is a bigger pea
12:33brain than he is.
12:40Duty raster, sir.
12:41What the devil are you doing with it?
12:43Just acting as your right hand, sir.
12:45Oh, yes, yes, of course, that's right.
12:47Thank you, boy, thank you.
12:49Chuck, before I sign this, I know you're very busy and have a lot of things to do before
12:54your uncle gets back, but why don't you sit down there, boy, and we'll have a little
12:59chat, huh?
13:00Certainly, sir.
13:00Yes, sir.
13:02Now, I know when your uncle gets...
13:04Why don't you sit over here, boy?
13:06Don't be afraid.
13:10Now, when your uncle gets back, I know that he'll have a lot of questions to ask you,
13:15things about our base, about me.
13:19Get you, sir.
13:20Yes, sir.
13:20Oh, I'm sure he will, sir.
13:21He's what we refer to as a nosy Parker.
13:24It's a family joke, sir.
13:26Family joke.
13:28So are you.
13:29I say, when your uncle comes back, I want to be sure that you mention to him in passing
13:34that I'm ready and able to move up in rank to bigger things.
13:38Okay.
13:39Yes, sir.
13:40Ready and able.
13:41Yes, sir.
13:41I have it, sir.
13:41If you just sign the duty raster, I'll get back to work, sir.
13:44Oh, anything that's okay with my trusted aid is okay with me.
13:47What is that?
13:50Gruber and the rest of those pirates on shore patrol?
13:53Well, that's like giving the Dillinger mob the key to Fort Knox.
13:56Now, wait a minute, sir.
13:57Don't get excited.
13:57I've figured this out.
13:58I used my noggin on this one, sir.
13:59Do what?
14:00Well, now, you see, Gruber and the boys know every trade in the book, so I just figure,
14:04set a thief to catch a thief.
14:06You know, in a weird sort of way, that almost makes sense.
14:13You mean, set a thief to catch a thief?
14:15Yes, sir.
14:15Well, you can tell your old New England grandmother that one, sir.
14:17Get him.
14:19Thanks.
14:19Hey, sailor.
14:40Yeah?
14:41You on duty?
14:42No, I'm on my way to the PX.
14:43I just drew my page.
14:44Oh, yeah?
14:45Well, in that case, come on.
14:48No, no, no.
14:58Paint for juice, messieurs.
14:59Paint for juice.
15:00That's French for put your money where your mouth is.
15:03That's everybody, paint his juice.
15:08Join yourself, sailor.
15:09Hey, what is set up?
15:11Aren't you guys worried about the shore patrol?
15:12What's the worry?
15:15Beautiful.
15:26Important messages received, Wally.
15:30Are you comfortable?
15:31Oh, yeah, yeah.
15:32Good.
15:33Yeah, what is the message, Chucky boy?
15:34Well, right at this moment, Uncle Tim is on the way back to our base.
15:37Oh, is he?
15:38Good, good.
15:39Did he give you his ETA?
15:40No, he gave me a Boy Scout knife for the once.
15:45You know, it had 18 tools on it.
15:46It had a screwdriver and a corkscrew.
15:48Chuck?
15:49Chuck?
15:50Yes, sir?
15:51ETA, that's estimated time of arrival.
15:56Estimated time of arrival.
15:58Wouldn't that be E-T-O-A?
16:01I believe you've got a point there, boy.
16:02And you haven't told me the time, though, oh, trusted right hand.
16:07Oh, that he's coming?
16:08Yes.
16:08Yes, his ETA.
16:09Let it be, uh, let's see, he got the message at, uh, oh, 400.
16:12Sorry.
16:13No, wait.
16:14He'd be, uh, at 12, he'd start at 13, 14.
16:17I'm here an hour, sir.
16:19An hour.
16:19Oh, splendid.
16:20Oh, I splendid.
16:21I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that.
16:23Excuse me.
16:23And, oh, in the meantime, Chuck, I'm going to relieve you of all your other duties.
16:27And that'll give you time while your uncle is here to have that heart-to-heart chat with him, huh?
16:31Remember, son?
16:32Remember?
16:33Oh, yeah.
16:33Ready and able.
16:34All right, Wally.
16:35Don't worry about me.
16:36Yes, I will.
16:37Oh, don't slam the door.
16:41Well, you can shut it, but you don't have to plan.
16:44Uh, Admiral, sir, if I may suggest, uh, you might postpone your inspection of the base right now,
16:50and we could adjourn to my quarters, and you could have a nice long talk with your nephew.
16:54Yes, well, thank you, Captain, but I'd rather complete my inspection first.
16:58It could have a bearing on my talk with the ensign.
17:00Oh, well, then, shall we proceed, sir?
17:02Well, suppose we check the air raid shelters first, as long as we're here.
17:06Well, uh, they're the captain's pet project, sir.
17:07Yes, sir.
17:08He's always thinking of his men.
17:10They're completely equipped.
17:11Completely equipped.
17:11Yeah.
17:11All right, men, get your pets down.
17:16Come right in, gentlemen.
17:17Yeet!
17:19What the devil is going on in here?
17:22I think that's pretty obvious, Captain.
17:24You're running a gambling casino.
17:26Oh, I assure you, Admiral, I didn't know anything about this.
17:29This is your fault, mister.
17:30I warned you, you put these racketeers on shore patrol and this would happen.
17:35Is that true, Ensign?
17:36Well, but...
17:37Yes, sir.
17:38They're my men, and I'm responsible.
17:39You say that, Admiral, it's his responsibility.
17:41Oh, stop whining, Captain.
17:42In the United States Navy, the commanding officer is responsible for the acts of officers and
17:46men under input.
17:47But I...
17:48But...
17:48All right.
17:49In this case, I'll admit there might be mitigating circumstances.
17:53Captain, if you don't mind, I'd like a word with the Ensign in private.
17:57Boy, I sure fouled up.
18:00I don't blame you for being ashamed of me, Uncle Admiral.
18:03I'm not ashamed of you, Charles.
18:04Every man has his strength and his weaknesses.
18:07But I feel that a command post is not one of your strongest points.
18:11Oh, I realize you're taking away my commission.
18:16No, no, I'm not taking away your commission.
18:19It's just that I feel that you'd do better in a nice, safe job back in the States.
18:24You go back to your quarters and pack your gear.
18:26You'll be leaving with me.
18:27Yes, sir.
18:28And, Charles, no hard feelings?
18:32Oh, no, it's okay, Uncle Admiral.
18:34Charles, please.
18:39Don't call me Uncle Admiral.
18:47Thanks, Boogie.
18:48Here's my home address.
18:49If you get stateside after the war, be sure and look me up.
18:52Will do, Paco-san.
18:54We're going to miss you.
18:55Thanks, Boogie.
19:02Dying our old friend.
19:04Dying our old friend.
19:06Dying our old friend.
19:09Poor Mr. Parker, and it's all our fault.
19:11Yeah, whoever figured this would happen.
19:13What a bum break.
19:14Hey, look, there's a skipper.
19:15Hey, Skip.
19:16Hey, hi, Skip.
19:17Boy, listen, we're glad to see you.
19:19What's going on here?
19:19What are you guys doing over here, anyway?
19:22What kind of trouble are you guys up to now?
19:24Oh, it's not us, Skip.
19:25It's Mr. Parker.
19:26We lost him up.
19:27His uncle, Admiral Parker, is here, and he's shipping him out.
19:30Now, of all the miserable eight balls,
19:32I can't leave you guys for 48 hours without you guys balling up.
19:37Air raid!
19:37Let's hit the shelter.
19:38You better, because when they've stopped blasting you, I'm going to get you.
19:41Don't cut it.
19:43When did you get back?
19:44I just pulled in, sir.
19:45Hi, Admiral.
19:46I mean, all right, men.
19:47Inside.
19:47Yeah, after you, sir.
19:48After you.
19:56Where's Ensign Parker?
19:57Ah, yeah, you sat on to his quarters to get his gear, sir.
20:00Well, I know that, but what's taking him so long?
20:02To his quarters or holding Toledo?
20:04He may be caught out there in a drink.
20:06What's that, Commander?
20:07Well, sure, our quarters are across the bay,
20:08and if he's on his way back, he'll be a sitting duck.
20:11Sir, request permission to go to his aide, sir.
20:13Yeah, sir.
20:14I can't risk the lives of more men.
20:16Thanks, sir.
20:17I request permission to commit mutiny.
20:19Come on, Captain.
20:21As you are, men.
20:44Come on, take it, get this coffee pot, Birkin.
21:01Come on.
21:02Hey, duck, duck, duck.
21:04No.
21:05No.
21:05No.
21:06No.
21:07No.
21:08No.
21:09No.
21:10No.
21:11No.
21:12No.
21:13No.
21:16No.
21:18No.
21:19No.
21:20No.
21:20No.
21:20No.
21:21There he is.
21:42There he is.
21:42Stand by to pick him up, boys.
21:44Take care.
21:45Start cutting down, baby.
21:51I stand by to pick him up.
22:08He's going under.
22:19Come on, boys.
22:20Come on.
22:21Get him in there.
22:29Oh, thanks, guys.
22:30Hi, Skip.
22:30Hi, boys.
22:31Well, you had us scared there for a minute, boy.
22:33We thought they had you.
22:34Well, you know, Navy's tradition.
22:35I'd have to go down with my dinghy.
22:38Hey, here he comes again.
22:39Come on, boys.
22:40Let's get him this time.
22:41Well, let me at him.
22:42I'll blast him.
22:44I'll get him all and blast him.
22:50Hey, hey, Chuck.
22:58Hey, Chuck.
22:59You got him, Chuck.
23:00You did it.
23:00You got him.
23:01I did?
23:02Yeah.
23:02Well, so long, you guys.
23:11I sure won't forget my old shipmates.
23:13We're sure sorry we foul things up for you, Mr. Parker.
23:15Oh, it's a doggone shame that...
23:17Oh, attention.
23:22Ensign Parker reporting, sir, is ordered.
23:24Uh, only I don't have any gear.
23:26The enemy sank it.
23:27Yes, I know.
23:27Well, it's all right, Charles.
23:28You're not being reassigned anyway.
23:30You mean you're throwing me out of the Navy?
23:33Oh, nothing of the sort.
23:35Any man who could command such affection and loyalty from a wild crew like this that they'd
23:40risk their lives for him.
23:42Well, my boy, you must have the right stuff in you somewhere.
23:47Sir, you mean that the Chuck, I mean, Mr. Parker can stay with the 73, sir?
23:52Yeah!
23:54Yeah!
23:55Yeah, you are.
23:55Yeah, you are.
23:57Now, as for you, McHale.
23:58Yes, sir.
23:59This will be the first time in my career that I've recommended a decoration for a crew
24:04of mutineers.
24:05Yes, sir.
24:06Thank you, sir.
24:08Well, goodbye, gentlemen.
24:09Bye-bye, sir.
24:10Bye, Charles.
24:11Oh, and Charles, don't forget to write to your Aunt Clara.
24:14Yeah.
24:15Bye, Uncle Admiral.
24:19Bye-bye, sir.
24:21Bye.
24:22Bye-bye.
24:23Chuck, you sure got a great uncle.
24:25Yeah.
24:26Oh, darn.
24:27I forgot to tell them that you're ready and able, Wally.
24:29You want me to get him?
24:30Ah, shut up!
24:31I doubt you dare ever call me Wally again.
24:35Yes, sir.
24:36Yes, sir.
24:36I don't know.
25:06I don't know.
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