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00:00Sabrina 90's show, Cat Showdown.
00:04Sabrina calls Hilda and hopes she'll be home.
00:07She should just use telepathy.
00:09She wouldn't be worried because she could use telepathy anyway.
00:14This would only make sense if she's out of magic.
00:17She tells Hilda she left her homework at home.
00:19Speaking of that, she's definitely out of magic.
00:23My problem is, I don't feel like I'm supposed to think that
00:26because the show hasn't told me that witches can run out of magic yet
00:30and it's not going to assume everyone knows that about Sabrina comics
00:36because it's mostly aimed at people who didn't read the comics.
00:40You can tell because the ants aren't dressed like witches
00:42because they had no faith in the average person to still like the show.
00:46Even though they liked the comics.
00:49So it's really just the writer disrespectfully making Sabrina somehow too dumb to do this herself.
00:54since she was panicked when calling home
00:57which implies that she thought she needed her.
01:00Hilda casts and then sneezes
01:02and somehow the cause of the book to get sent to a desert
01:05even though she wouldn't have imagined that.
01:08This would only make sense if she caught a man-made airborne computer virus
01:12in the witch realm that messes up spells.
01:15But since that's not explained and she's healthy in the next scene
01:18it's just the writer kicking Sabrina in the gut to be spiteful.
01:22To be fair, she is risking someone in the hallway seeing the book warp to her
01:27which would require her to make him doubt his own sanity
01:29so that'd be a dick move.
01:31But it's safe to say someone as nice as her
01:33was counting on nobody seeing the book appear.
01:36She was next to a wall
01:37so she could have just faced it to block the book.
01:40This was an especially terrible start
01:42but at least Hilda did try to help her with no strings attached.
01:47If this was the 2000s comic she'd refuse
01:50because you can't use magic for everything
01:52and to teach you that
01:54you're not even allowed to use it for a few things.
01:57Somehow Sabrina doesn't get what she's expected to read a book called 1984
02:01when that's not what 1984 ended up like.
02:05Someone tells Harvey and Sabrina
02:07they could pay money to go to a fun place
02:09but it's too much for Harvey
02:11and Sabrina hates that she can't ask her aunt for the money
02:14because they want to teach her the value of a dollar.
02:17It's convenient for the sake of inflation
02:19that she doesn't zap up money
02:21like other versions of Sabrina.
02:24Salem maxed out his credit card
02:25and Zelda has to deal with a mailman
02:27who's jealous of some other potential rival for his affection.
02:31So Hilda gives her a book of potions
02:33to show her a revulsion perfume.
02:36It does save on magic to use a perfume
02:39instead of just pointing
02:40which could also solve the problem.
02:43Sabrina looks at the newspaper
02:45to find a way to make money
02:46and Salem tells her to enter a cat show.
02:49He says he's not her pets
02:51and tells her not to write down her own last name on Salem
02:54even though the judges would question that
02:56because pets have the same last names as their owners.
03:00This is the first time the series gives him his own last name.
03:04Saberhagen.
03:05Which sounds cool
03:06but it's trying too hard.
03:08So it would have been a good joke if he was lying.
03:11Why does she have to ask him what breed he is?
03:13She's known him for a while.
03:15I knew what breed each of my dogs was.
03:19Harvey sounds confused when saying
03:21Saberhagen, right?
03:23Exactly.
03:24Salem talks in the cage
03:27before the cat show
03:28in a room full of people.
03:30To be fair
03:31the show does try to have
03:32crowd murmuring noises
03:34to imply that he'd be drowned out.
03:36But she's still near people
03:38who would know what direction
03:40the voice is coming from.
03:42Someone calls Salem pretty.
03:44Won't she notice that the sound
03:45of throat clearing from a man
03:47came from Salem?
03:48Harvey got Sabrina a good number.
03:51How do you determine a good number?
03:52How does the judge know Salem's expression?
03:56Cats are expressionless.
03:58He says he's one of America's top shorthairs.
04:01The cat owners have to walk in a circle
04:03carrying their cats.
04:05And Sabrina thankfully laughs
04:06she said this is the cheesiest thing
04:08she ever did.
04:09Sabrina lets Harvey leave
04:11since he's relatably bored.
04:13She tells the judge to ask Salem
04:15a simple multiplication question.
04:17He answers right.
04:19To be fair
04:20he is extremely restricted
04:22in what he gets to do as a cat.
04:24And he'd have self esteem issues
04:25because of his situation.
04:27So that would motivate him
04:28to memorize the times tables
04:29for the sake of an ego boost.
04:32Sometimes people have hidden depths.
04:35The judge says amazing
04:36but they do judge
04:37only based on appearance.
04:40There's a boring montage
04:41that just shows cats
04:43while nice music plays.
04:45And already we see Salem
04:47get first prize.
04:49First off
04:49it's so lazy of the writer
04:51to not show any interesting events
04:52in the cat show.
04:54This is the laziest version
04:55of this plot I've ever seen.
04:57Even the Sonic X comic
04:59did a better job.
05:00Why even have a plot like this
05:02if you'll do nothing with it?
05:04Second
05:05Salem won first prize
05:06on the first try
05:07even though the cats
05:08are judged strictly on appearance
05:10and Sabrina doesn't have
05:11any experience
05:12in making her cat
05:13look as nice as possible.
05:15So how did she win?
05:17I guess it was just because
05:18he was good at math
05:19and the appeal of a gloomy
05:21black cat
05:22combined with the name Salem.
05:24Because it's a full moon
05:26she can get her magic perfume.
05:28But the full moon
05:29is nothing but an illusion
05:30caused by sunlight
05:31hitting the entirety
05:32of a side of the moon
05:33that's facing the earth.
05:34Why does that matter?
05:36She goes to a full moon salon.
05:39Oh so it makes sense.
05:40It's easy to assume
05:41that the reason it's only open
05:42on a full moon
05:43is that the saleswoman
05:44only wants this
05:45as an occasional job
05:46and usually does
05:47something else for money.
05:49Even real businesses
05:50have inconvenient hours.
05:53The ants get approached
05:54by a very pushy saleswoman.
05:57She tells Zelda
05:57that someone as pretty as her
05:59needs a lot of
06:00revulsion perfume.
06:02Hilda gets warned
06:02not to use a sample.
06:04Somehow does so anyways
06:05like she wouldn't be
06:06caught on camera.
06:08Not to mention
06:08she's in a witch store
06:10and gets shrunken
06:11because of the
06:12anti-sample spell.
06:14Somehow the saleswoman
06:15surprised by the spell
06:17working.
06:18Why did she wait
06:19until today
06:19to cast it?
06:21Seriously
06:21is this the first time
06:22Hilda ever went
06:23to a store
06:24selling these things?
06:25That's weird
06:26considering how old she is.
06:28She was so casual
06:29about calling this.
06:30She complains
06:31about them picking
06:32on the little guy.
06:34That could be funny
06:34if you're in the right mood.
06:35The judge gets a call
06:37that threatens him
06:38with photos
06:39and he promises
06:39the person his cat
06:41would be named
06:41best of the show.
06:43While it was probably
06:44the woman who
06:45bragged about all
06:45the ribbons she got
06:46and had whisker extensions
06:48because the narrative
06:49wanted you to hate her
06:50right away
06:50and didn't call attention
06:51to any of the other people,
06:54he would have had
06:54to deal with this
06:55if they didn't pick
06:55a celebrity
06:56to be the judge.
06:58Salem warns Sabrina
06:59and Sabrina uses magic
07:01to summon the photo.
07:02The judge heads
07:03for Sabrina
07:04and Salem warns her
07:05with a loud
07:06obviously fake meow
07:07that he doesn't question.
07:11Sabrina somehow
07:12decides to disguise
07:13herself as a cat
07:14of all things.
07:15The worst possible thing
07:17to turn herself into.
07:19So of course
07:20she gets put into the cage
07:21by the man
07:23who I guess
07:23convinced himself
07:24he imagined
07:25hearing that fake meow.
07:28She says
07:28if she can't point
07:29she can't change
07:30herself back.
07:32She has paws.
07:33She could point
07:34with that.
07:36She could have
07:36just turned herself
07:37invisible
07:38since she did that
07:39to Joel
07:40in an earlier episode.
07:42The ant's freer
07:43and one of them
07:44somehow only turns
07:45her head back
07:45to normal at first.
07:47Zelda says
07:48a reverse angle spell
07:49will tell them
07:50who's the blackmailer.
07:52He's wearing a loose robe
07:53obscured by shadow
07:54with a cloth
07:55covering him
07:56because he was using
07:57an old fashioned camera.
07:59All Sabrina can see
08:00is the hand
08:01so Zelda finds out
08:02that the blackmailer
08:03is missing
08:03half an index finger.
08:06Why didn't that person
08:06wear a prosthetic?
08:09Sabrina decides
08:10to try to find things out
08:11by being gracious
08:12to the cat owners
08:13and offering handshakes
08:14but two of them
08:15are antisocial freaks
08:16who refuse.
08:18Even I never did that.
08:20Hilda zaps up
08:21many key shoes
08:22to help.
08:23It turns out
08:24all of those people
08:25have half an index finger
08:26missing.
08:27Each for a different reason
08:29realistically.
08:31While crazy coincidences
08:32happen in real life too.
08:35Even if it always
08:36being the same finger
08:37is slightly less believable.
08:39Sabrina tells the judge
08:41she needs to talk to him
08:42and pushes him
08:42but somehow he goes
08:44into the room anyway.
08:46She says she saw the photo
08:47so she knows
08:48what's happened to him.
08:50He's only being blackmailed
08:51over being bald.
08:53I expected something
08:54completely different.
08:56He explains that
08:57they've done studies
08:58and people don't trust
08:59bald people as much.
09:01The judge finds out
09:02about the whisker extensions
09:03which he should have
09:05figured out earlier
09:06because he already
09:08judged every cat.
09:10And when Salem calls it out
09:11we do see someone
09:12looking around
09:13at confusion.
09:15But the judge
09:15defends the cat.
09:17He says that's
09:17desperate in vain.
09:19But he defends
09:20the cat anyway.
09:21He says it's like
09:22looking into a mirror
09:23and reveals that he's bald.
09:25The whisker
09:26fakers the blackmailer.
09:27The reason this is
09:29disappointing
09:30is that I expected
09:32to learn something
09:33new
09:33when finding out
09:34who the blackmailer was.
09:37Sabrina says
09:37trust should be about
09:38honesty and accurate
09:40reporting.
09:41Hilda warns that
09:42she's talking about
09:43TV news.
09:44The second jab
09:45at how journalism
09:46was degraded.
09:48This aged pretty well
09:49so I like this joke.
09:51When the judge
09:51says Salem
09:52he says something
09:53and somehow
09:54no one reacts.
09:55I just have to assume
09:56everyone who saw
09:57that he was the one
09:58talking convinced
09:58himself he was
09:59hallucinating it.
10:01And anyone who
10:01heard his voice
10:02assumed it wasn't
10:03from him.
10:04It turns out the judge
10:05changed his mind
10:06and actually wants
10:07to make Sabrina
10:08in her cat form
10:09the winner.
10:10But nobody
10:11owns the cat.
10:13Because it was
10:14something that
10:14Sabrina made up
10:16so she was put
10:17in an extra cage.
10:18and the judge
10:20never questioned
10:21that it was a cat
10:22he never saw
10:23before.
10:24For some reason.
10:26This is why
10:27I was being nice
10:28and assuming that
10:28she disguised herself
10:29as a cat
10:30that was already
10:31there.
10:34Hilda holds
10:35the sobbing Salem
10:36to comfort him.
10:38To be fair
10:38he did try to
10:39take over the world
10:40in the past
10:41so it's understandable
10:42that he wouldn't
10:43get a win.
10:45Harvey loves
10:45holding her as a cat
10:46and wishes he could
10:47adopt her
10:48because she's
10:48the most gentle
10:49loving cat ever.
10:51Hilda uses magic
10:52on the judge's mirror
10:54so that he feels
10:54good about his looks.
10:57That was unusually
10:57nice for her to do
10:58for a stranger.
11:00But nobody
11:00would be able
11:01to stand her
11:01if she never
11:02did anything nice.
11:04Sabrina gives Salem
11:05the blue ribbon
11:06saying that he's
11:06the best cat
11:07and uses her finger
11:09on his chin.
11:10The mailman
11:10gets invited
11:11into Zelda's house
11:12and says lamely
11:13that she's not
11:13a mere occupant
11:14to him.
11:16Then he says
11:17a sweet romantic
11:18speech to her
11:18that she's the
11:19bright spot
11:20on his root.
11:21She uses the
11:22magic perfume
11:23which gives her
11:23buck teeth.
11:25I thought it'd work
11:26by making people
11:26repulse
11:27without making
11:28the user ugly.
11:30I guess the point
11:31of the perfume
11:31is that it brainwashes
11:32people into thinking
11:33the user
11:34of it always
11:34looked this way
11:35so that they don't
11:36come to the conclusion
11:37that the user
11:37put on fake teeth.
11:39Why would someone
11:40subject herself
11:41to this?
11:43If you cast a spell
11:44to make someone
11:44not into you
11:45you won't have
11:46to deal with this.
11:48Surely there could
11:49be a magic perfume
11:50that does her
11:50avulsion spell
11:51without the
11:52buck teeth part.
11:54But it turns out
11:55it's true love
11:56because the mailman
11:56just asks her
11:57if she's tired
11:58without being put off.
12:00This story
12:01completely skipped
12:02over the potentially
12:03interesting part
12:04of the cat show
12:04Salem got entered into
12:06making it the worst
12:07one I've ever seen
12:08where the only
12:10interesting part
12:10is how the judge
12:11got blackmailed.
12:13But his baldness
12:14caused them
12:14to relate to the cat
12:15with whisper extensions
12:17and reveals baldness
12:18so that it could
12:19vote truthfully.
12:20And Sabrina gives out
12:21the moral of the story
12:22that honesty is good.
12:24I suppose by making
12:25two different
12:25speed shoots about it
12:26makes it the moral.
12:28I'm glad someone
12:29other than Sabrina
12:30was the one
12:30who needed to learn
12:31the lesson.
12:32It still had her
12:33being possibly stupid
12:34multiple times
12:35from the episode.
12:36But never at a point
12:37that mattered
12:38to the plot.
12:39It was only slightly
12:40engaging as a story.
12:42The plot itself
12:42was boring.
12:44It was a surprisingly
12:45good twist
12:46that magic couldn't
12:46solve who the
12:47blackmailer was.
12:50It's like I'm telling you
12:50that you can't force
12:51the truth to come out
12:52of a liar.
12:53Because he has to make
12:54himself feel bad
12:55about it and be honest.
Recommandations
11:22
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