00:00DCX-Sonic Metal Legion 1
00:03It starts out by surprisingly explaining that the worlds of Superman and Sonic were linked by some portals after last
00:11time, even though there was no hint of that.
00:14It actually shows some IDW Sonic characters in this, proving that it really was just an IDW Sonic crossover.
00:22And thankfully they don't annoy me by talking and waste my time.
00:26But the story does waste my time by showing Sonic and Flash racing, since they already did this a bunch,
00:34and it's not doing anything new with it.
00:37So it's just a bunch of filler with one line saying that the portals showed up overnight, which is why
00:43we only just found out about them.
00:47Then it goes to a scene with Diana wanting to fight.
00:50And it's extremely boring if you don't already care about these characters.
00:56Even if you do, we all know Diana's got plot armor.
01:01She's an important character, and the dialogue's so formal it's boring as hell.
01:07If you don't know who these villains are, you're not really given a reason to be invested in the heroes
01:13opposing them,
01:15because you aren't told they're going to do anything bad after they take over her territory, which we already knew
01:20would be bad.
01:22I just assume they would be bad rulers.
01:27Finally, one of the bad guys gets hit with a hammer by Amy, who immediately gets caught and carried like
01:32a child because she's so much shorter than her.
01:35It couldn't even keep up making her badass for two panels.
01:41It's still just as boring after this with nothing new going on because characters are just talking without acting.
01:49You'd think Amy would be fighting bad guys the whole time she was talking to her instead of looking like
01:54she doesn't actually care about doing good and is easily distracted.
01:58I can only think of one time she was easily distracted in the games, but that was by something that
02:05was related to her attraction to Sonic.
02:08Then it wastes my time showing Superman and Knuckles having the kind of dialogue you'd expect and going to visit
02:14Cream as if that's an exciting new plot development the audience was waiting for.
02:20This is what fanfiction is for, and it'd be easy to write too, because it's just the characters talking to
02:27each other and in the kinds of scenarios that they'd gone through a million times, aside from this.
02:34It turns out Cream and Superman already know each other because Superman helped Chao in her Chao Garden in issue
02:40one.
02:42So apparently Cream has her own personal Chao Garden out of nowhere.
02:46At least it's not out of character and it's sorta new, but why should I care?
02:52It doesn't impact the plot.
02:55Aren't her original two Chao good enough for her?
02:58I'm not going to look at Supergirl and think that alone makes the story good.
03:03It wastes my time with nothing good or important until Silver gets given a green lantern ring again and then
03:09goes back to being boring.
03:12Silver's good enough on his own.
03:14The novelty value was there the first time it happened.
03:19It feels patronizing to have Silver's name in bold in his first panel as if they think if you aren't
03:24a Sonic fan you'll need your attention directed to it that way to remember his name.
03:30It makes it feel like too much of a kid's story.
03:34If the story wasn't so boring I wouldn't feel so impatient with it.
03:39Someone makes fun of Silver who whispers to Cyborg that he should kill him as if he thinks he'll do
03:45it, which is confusing because not only is it not like Silver to be so petty and casually murderous, but
03:53I did think it was like Cyborg to be so casual about this that he wouldn't scold him for it.
03:59Because even I know that the Punisher is treated like him not being a pacifist is a big deal.
04:06Silver finds out some superheroes are being fought with and might need his help and the guy who's a jerk
04:11doesn't take the enemies of those people seriously.
04:15After padding where he explains why he's up here instead of fighting, I see some more heroes fighting even more
04:22ridiculous cartoon villains, so I get to see Tails fire a laser with a wearable arm cannon.
04:30Somehow Beast Boy's shape-shifting into Tails also gives him the magic power to fly and the fact that it
04:36hurts his lower back doesn't make sense if he was still made strong enough to lift his own weight with
04:41such small Tails compared to the rest of his body.
04:44Most of this scene also feels like a boring waste of time.
04:49It was a little interesting that Charmy was with the bad guy because he doesn't know better and thinks it's
04:54a bug-themed club he's in.
04:57Blaze tells him he's with a bad guy and her and Charmy have some redundant extra dialogue before Charmy gets
05:03back at him, but I don't even get to see him impact him with his stinger anyway.
05:09Nothing's made the scene worth it.
05:11I haven't described any characters having impact shown when they're fighting even once so far.
05:18I've seen more satisfying dealing with the villains in Jetsons comics where constantly thieves get what's coming to them and
05:29so on.
05:30Once again, I wasn't told what the bad guys' plan is for being here other than they're trying to kill
05:35the heroes.
05:38I see Batman make a signal and eventually, after Robin does some whining, Shadow shows up, which only makes sense
05:45because only Batman, as far as he thinks, would make a signal for him.
05:49Because nothing about the shape of that signal makes me think that it's talking to Shadow.
05:54At least it's creative looking, but it doesn't look like his head.
06:01And there's a whole bunch of boring talking.
06:04Why can't the whole comic be about the characters punching bad guys who did something to deserve it first, when
06:11most of the time it doesn't do that, it's just dull padding?
06:15It wasn't necessary for the writers to have Shadow get made fun of for losing a Batmobile on them.
06:22When Batman's rich anyway, he could very easily, quickly buy another vehicle.
06:28And that would just benefit the person receiving the money for the thing being bought.
06:33It's just off-putting to most people to see Robin get depicted as a root of Batman 100% of
06:39the time,
06:39when anybody outside of this fanbase would think of Robin as respectful to him all of the time.
06:45Like in Batman and Robin, in that old, silly Batman show.
06:51I know there's been a bunch of different Robins because the Batman comics went on too long and got desperate
06:57for new ideas,
06:58but I don't feel like Batman fans wanted someone who used to be depicted as polite being made unlikable,
07:05because people don't tend to like when characters get completely changed against their wishes.
07:12There's way too much boring blathering where they talk about how their worlds are connected because of Eggman and Lex
07:19Luthor.
07:20Something we'll find out later anyways, and would prefer to just see it.
07:25Shadow could have easily run off instead of saying he'll handle things from here,
07:29and then Batman would have gotten the chance to tell him he needs help.
07:32Something he should have already known anyways, because he is facing multiple fronts of threats.
07:39He agreed to be part of a team in Sonic Heroes and Free Riders.
07:43But because of Sega changing its CEO to the writer of Shadow's own game,
07:48he's been the same antisocial moron he was in that ever since.
07:53And now the comic writers think they should imitate that just to parody it.
07:59And somehow Shadow doesn't get his argument, and has to be told the obvious thing he was getting at before.
08:05Like he didn't know what multiple fronts meant.
08:09I mean, he has a point that Lex and Eggman are mortal,
08:14and he has incredible magical powers, like the ability to go really fast.
08:20So if just him was dealing with just those two, he would instantly break all their bones.
08:26And he could just run past or jump over anybody that they would use as bodyguards.
08:33So he doesn't technically need anybody's help.
08:37Sure, there's multiple fronts, but all he wants to deal with are Eggman and Lex Luthor who are in one
08:44place.
08:45I thought Shadow already got taught the lesson that he could use some help.
08:50And he already learned it in the games.
08:53Then there's even more dialogue that's excessive, pointless, and boring while nothing's happening,
08:58and the only thing interesting and new going on is Eggman's holding a wine glass full of yellow wine.
09:04If it never explains that it's actually not alcohol,
09:09then that'll be impressively gutsy for a kid's story.
09:12I like that Eggman's being shown being okay with wine,
09:16because it explains why the metal virus was something he was surprised by the behavior of.
09:22If he drinks a lot, that explains why he was surprised that the metal virus made somebody aggressive.
09:29And he's an adult and a human, so it feels right.
09:34It is smart of Lex to make money off of tourism packages.
09:39There's no way Eggman wouldn't see the point in making even more gateways to Earth to make more money.
09:45He's supposed to be a genius.
09:48I shouldn't even have to say this.
09:50He owned a corporation at one point.
09:54After more padding, where Lex ends up assaulting Eggman for making it too obvious that the gateways are his because
10:01of their name,
10:01eventually the story ends by showing the ridiculous-looking kiddie cartoon bad guys that we'd see fighting the heroes for
10:10them later anyways.
10:12I know they look like this to be interesting-looking, but see, this is why I like anthropomorphic animal characters.
10:18If you have a character that's an anthropomorphic animal character, you can have an interesting character design
10:24without making them look completely ridiculous with stuff like jumpsuits and capes.
10:31Whatever.
10:32I couldn't wait for this scene to end because it was so boring.
10:37I don't know why the same guy who wrote Worlds Collide couldn't write this dialogue to have the same entertainment
10:43level as Eggman and Wily.
10:46It's, like, mostly exposition.
10:48I want to like their dynamic, but it's mostly just either them acting like they always do,
10:54but stating exposition they already know with the occasional Lex insulting someone who's supposed to be too arrogant to be
11:00able to stand criticism from anyone.
11:02I've seen someone arrogant get criticized, and he just always gets annoyed by it.
11:08But it just barely makes sense that he puts up with it with Lex, because Lex is a genius too.
11:15I just don't like that the exclusive criticism of Eggman treats him as a lower-status character, which isn't necessary.
11:26This story by Ian Flynn was very boring because most of its excessive dialogue was boring,
11:33and there wasn't any plot progress, and there was almost no impact with the bad guys shown whenever it did
11:39have a fight.
11:40And I was given no reason to be invested in any of the fights, because all of the characters in
11:45them have plot armor because they're important and it's a kid's story,
11:49and I wasn't told what exact bad things any of the bad guys that wanted to take over territory would
11:55do afterwards.
11:56So it seemed like they were only there to fight the heroes, who didn't get to save anyone.
12:02Most of these heroes didn't get to do anything heroic, so what's the point of using heroes?
12:07None of the bad guys got to accomplish anything bad, so what's the point of using bad guys?
12:15They're trying to, but they're failing.
12:18It expects me to think the story is good just because there's a bunch of characters that aren't usually in
12:23a Sonic story here,
12:24but that hardly takes any effort to come up with, and most of them are written out of the same
12:29one-note personality as the generic bad guy anyways,
12:32and their impact on the plot is the same.
12:35So combine that with the extremely excessive, boring dialogue, you've really got to be easily impressed to be impressed with
12:43this.
12:44There are plenty of Sonic comics with just as good art, but better writing.
12:50And all I care about is writing.
12:52As long as I can tell what the characters and stuff are supposed to be,
12:57most of the stories in Sonic the Comic are great.
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