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00:00Sabrina 90's show episode 1. It starts with Sabrina asleep and floating, which your aunts both go in to witness right on schedule because she turned 16.
00:10And I assume the reason her arm isn't hanging below her is also a result of the magic.
00:15I don't like this. It doesn't make any sense.
00:18Not only this doesn't, because what is the point of magic revealing itself if it's not going to wake that person up in the process or wake up everyone in the house too?
00:27So if it's there to tell people that the magic can be used now, it doesn't do a very good job.
00:33And also it's stupid that magic could be used without the consent of its user when it usually only happens because the user chose to cast his spell.
00:41Because magic users would have either gone extinct from magic being used automatically, or otherwise been badly affected from it a lot,
00:50and then decided to put magical restrictions on its powers so that this could never happen anyway.
00:55What if a witch slept under something hanging on the ceiling and bumped against it?
01:00What if that was a spinning fan?
01:02Also, I guess witches are raised to make sure one of their own, who is about to turn 16, isn't sleeping in the same room as a mortal.
01:10Just in case the witnesses are floating and assumes there's a ghost or calls an exorcist.
01:15And in general, why would magic be able to happen without the user's consent?
01:18Magic is a tool meant to input cheat codes into reality like it has programming, so why would a cheating device be able to turn itself on?
01:28And I know there's an excuse that it's a fantasy series about a type of being we don't think exists,
01:33but that doesn't excuse magic having stupid arbitrary rules.
01:37I never liked that the show kept going with this idea that witches are alien on the inside, human on the outside,
01:44out of complete nowhere for the franchise.
01:47That's why this was written, and it's just dumb, because not only is it the first time witches were like this in the series,
01:53but also in general.
01:55Witches as the concept started out as,
01:57they're just humans who found a way to use magic.
01:59So why would they be alien on the inside?
02:03Why would they have a literal biological clock you could take out of them with magic, for example?
02:08Those aren't witches, then.
02:10I guess you could say the same about witchcrafts being genetic,
02:12but if we're accepting the idea that humans could cast spells,
02:15why could they also not cast a spell to make magic genetic for their group?
02:19And why would they not find some other universe and take it over and call it the other realm?
02:24And so witches could come to Earth from there and be technically aliens without not being real witches.
02:30But this goes too far away from what witches always were,
02:33and just flat out makes them not human at all.
02:36Only a spell could cause witches to be like this,
02:40and why would witches cast that on all witchkind?
02:44Even without all of that, it's also a pointless scene.
02:48It's necessary to say that she just let Sabrina sleep,
02:51while Hilda wants to wake her up and freak her out because she's just so desperate to stop hiding it from her.
02:57Because she's selfish.
02:59Their personalities would be established later anyway, so it's still a padding scene.
03:04Since Hilda would only want to wake her up out of excitement and impatience,
03:08why would she not be looking happy when she says this?
03:11I guess it's the actor being new to the show.
03:14She's emotionless about it.
03:16It's convenient for Sabrina that she's such a deep sleeper that the ants constantly talking at full volume doesn't wake her up.
03:24I love the intro sequence for the early episodes.
03:26It's kind of nostalgic, and shows Sabrina being competent with her powers over and over again.
03:32Wouldn't it be nice if that was the norm?
03:33It's so nice of Sabrina to say morning to Zelda, and for Zelda to say morning when she walks into the kitchen for breakfast.
03:41Because I guess they do this every day.
03:44I say this because it doesn't seem like it's normal.
03:47She ends up getting given a cauldron for a birthday gift before she was told she was a witch.
03:53So that wasn't very emotionally intelligent of her ants, because she's got no reason to want that yet.
03:59It's creative that it's a tiny cauldron, though.
04:03It's void of Sabrina to thank them anyway and try to come up with a way it could be useful to her because she could put pens in it.
04:10Which is creative.
04:13Zelda starts with this long explanation to her that there's two different realms.
04:17Already she's failing because the word realm is too vague compared to the word universe,
04:22which would get that point across perfectly.
04:24And more importantly, Sabrina would never believe her, and she should know that.
04:29So Hilda's smart enough to just interrupt her and tell her she's a witch.
04:33Of course Sabrina would doubt that too, and asks what she means, as if that isn't self-explanatory.
04:38But it's still better than if they just used magic in front of her because that would terrify her.
04:43Better to just tell her how to use magic so that her first experience with it can be empowering.
04:48I like the idea that witches only get told about their powers at 16, because it's safer that way.
04:54But the entire show repeatedly went on to prove that for some people, even 16 is too young for them to be responsible enough to have powers.
05:03So if witches were really this cautious about magic, they wouldn't have the age be 16.
05:09They would have it be 18.
05:11You learn better when young, so they might not have to wait take so long that learning a new skill would be hard.
05:17Hilda repeats to her that she's a witch, instead of being smart enough to actually clarify what she means for her and the audience.
05:24Hilda keeps going between being selfish or having no emotional intelligence and being the opposite,
05:30which makes it hard to understand what her character is supposed to be.
05:34If she was completely selfish, she would instantly show her magic even though it would scare her.
05:39That's what she'd do if she was accurate to the source material.
05:45But if she didn't want to scare her, why did she say they should wake her up when she's floating?
05:50So she's just stupid.
05:52And so is Hilda, because instead of immediately telling Sabrina how to use magic in order to prove it,
05:58she tells her witch members of her family are also witches when she's still skeptical.
06:02So of course Sabrina doesn't believe her and just thanks them for almost making her forget about her first day at school.
06:08Well, that was nice of her.
06:10I thought she'd be mad because she thinks they're lying to her for no apparent reason.
06:15Or scared because she'd think they went crazy.
06:19This isn't a believable reaction.
06:21Sabrina leaves the house and her aunts just say bye and uselessly tell her not to make hand gestures.
06:28I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
06:31I already watched the whole show years ago, but I didn't have it memorized.
06:34Why would they even start to tell her she's a witch if they aren't going to insist on having her cast a spell in that same scene to prove it?
06:43Why would they just leave it at bye when she proved she didn't believe them?
06:48If they don't want to leave it at that because the reason she's with them is to be taught magic.
06:52If one of them thought that she might risk making too many hand gestures and cast a spell, she would have put a lock on her powers.
07:01Or make her incapable of making hand gestures and not want to do it.
07:06Sabrina hears Salem make normal cat noises, which is pretty unusual of him for the show, and it's sweet of her to pet him.
07:12And it's also unusually nice of Salem to not talk to her.
07:17Instead, the aunts and them have the same apparent agreement with each other to not scare her.
07:22Even though he's not exactly in sync with them in most of the show.
07:27Then the story goes on to a really boring scene for a while.
07:31It has some physical comedy with Harvey because he gets hit by a door.
07:35However, it's still not entirely understanding it because he wasn't the one who got himself hurt.
07:40But right now, it looks like they understand the character from the old comics.
07:44So far.
07:45And saw from him not already being Sabrina's boyfriend.
07:48For no reason.
07:50And eventually the students get talked to by an implausibly cynical and rude teacher.
07:54Because that's the story's idea of having teachers not bore you.
07:58As opposed to just giving up and barely having them have any lines.
08:02Somehow, even though it's the first day, the students get told to pick a lab partner.
08:09Instead of the whole first day wasting their time with the teachers telling them the classroom rules.
08:14Like in real life.
08:16Somehow, none of them pick a partner and have to be threatened into it by being told that they could just be paired off by height.
08:23They would have known that if they didn't pick a partner, they would be given one they didn't want.
08:27And people liked feeling like they had choices, so they would have picked partners right away.
08:34Sabrina thanks her partner, Jenny, for giving her a chance as a lab partner.
08:38Which is unusually nice of her to the point of being unrealistic.
08:41Because at the same time, half the people in the classroom are also being given a chance as lab partners.
08:48Some by people they never met before.
08:49So why does Sabrina feel like she is an outcast?
08:54She says that sometimes she feels like she doesn't fit in.
08:58This doesn't make any sense because she didn't grow up knowing she was a witch.
09:02And she's normal in every other way.
09:05And so she'd never be able to tell she wasn't normal.
09:08And most importantly, because her character is played by a pretty actress.
09:12I want to rank her a 9 out of 10, but she's not plain looking either.
09:17So expecting me to believe that this pretty, normal-seeming nice girl always felt like she didn't fit in is ludicrous.
09:25And it's just a cheap way to try to get sympathy from the audience, when she was already polite enough times to do that.
09:32I guess my point is that they should have hired an actress who, while not ugly,
09:36would also not be so pretty that you'd wonder why she's going to get bullied later.
09:42Jenny's right when she says that awkward people are more likely to find success in life.
09:47But I think she's wrong when she says that all she sees from me and people like Libby is tragedy in the future.
09:53Because social paths are overrepresented as CEOs.
09:56Sometimes people who were bossy jerks as kids grow up to be bossy jerks in management positions
10:02because those kinds of jobs naturally attract those people.
10:05That Sabrina is somehow looking at having to dissect a frog on her first day of high school.
10:12When I can tell you from personal experience that it would take longer than that,
10:16she wishes that the frogs were back to life.
10:20And she says she thinks his heart is somewhere around here.
10:23And that explains why she pointed at it.
10:26So she brings it back to life.
10:28And she and Jenny are just delighted that it came back to life instead of freaking out.
10:33I guess that makes sense because Jenny's already a note count,
10:36so she doesn't think like a normal girl.
10:38And all the teacher says is that he's going to call out the person in charge of frog cadavers for this.
10:44So Sabrina's wish had a consequence.
10:47Maybe it could have gotten a fire, but I doubt it.
10:49Sabrina goes into the bathroom wanting to wash her hands.
10:52Anyways, Libby asks how she may help her,
10:57and asks to get told why she wants the bathroom.
11:00Even though they went through the same class as her,
11:03so she should know that she wants to wash her hands of the frog juice.
11:08Out of nowhere, Libby says that if you stink,
11:10it's not fair to blame the frog.
11:12I have to assume that Libby already knew her from her previous school,
11:16because it comes out of nowhere,
11:17and if Sabrina stanked,
11:19then other people would have told her beforehand
11:20and caused her to do something about it.
11:23I can't blame the other girls for laughing at that joke,
11:26because it was actually kind of funny in a shock humor way of
11:28I can't believe she said this out loud.
11:31So laughing at it doesn't necessarily make them monsters.
11:34Because we can't really control what we laugh at,
11:37it just comes out sometimes.
11:39They could be feeling guilty about it for all we know.
11:43Sabrina claps back at her that at least she doesn't wear the aftershave
11:46of the boy you dumped her last summer.
11:49Which tells the audience that she's not just
11:52a perfectly nice girl with no flaws,
11:55she's also realistic.
11:58Libby asks her how she knew that,
12:00Sam's finally being embarrassed,
12:02and Sabrina looks completely confused,
12:04even as she says that maybe her incredible sense of smell told her.
12:09Witches are never psychic.
12:11Not in the franchise,
12:13and not in the show.
12:13And she didn't point on camera.
12:17I can only make sense of this by assuming that she did point offscreen
12:21while wishing she'd know something to say to embarrass Libby.
12:24But because of this nonsense,
12:27Sabrina would only get herself in worse social status
12:30because Libby would assume Sabrina stalked her.
12:33How else would she know that?
12:35She said incredible sense of smell.
12:38So this means no one around her can smell it.
12:41And it'd make more sense for her to wish that she knew how to embarrass Libby
12:44than to wish she had an incredible sense of smell.
12:47Naturally, Libby doesn't believe her.
12:50Sabrina tries to leave,
12:51and Libby tells her to wait.
12:54There's no reason that Sabrina would follow the order of someone who's mean to her
12:58for no apparent reason.
13:01I wouldn't have.
13:02But Sabrina was forced by the writer to do so.
13:05I guess she hoped Libby would apologize,
13:09even though she's known her for quite a while,
13:11because she's a massive idiot.
13:13So she just got the humiliation of being told to not come in here anymore,
13:17and instead use a freak's bathroom.
13:20I don't remember that being a thing in my high school.
13:23Sabrina makes a hand gesture that doesn't look just like the one she did to the frog,
13:27but still has her fingers pointed to her.
13:29I guess it makes sense that she did that out of spite,
13:32but I've never seen that done for that reason.
13:36This causes Libby's hand to forcibly cover her face with lipstick as she freaks out,
13:41which was funny enough to get a little giggle from me.
13:44I remember seeing people complain on TV tropes
13:46that Sabrina shouldn't abuse her powers against Libby
13:49just because witches are more powerful than mortals,
13:52and so it's unfair,
13:53and that completely misses the point of how you're supposed to watch the show.
13:56You were meant to laugh at these moments as a bully getting her comeuppance
14:00after she started it.
14:02Sabrina's just evening the power balance
14:04because Libby has power over it psychologically and socially.
14:08At least it looks like it,
14:09but her friends didn't do anything to Sabrina,
14:11just didn't stick up for it.
14:12But the way Sabrina feels about the situation,
14:16Libby is just as powerful as her,
14:18if not more so.
14:20So Sabrina evens the odds by using power of her own
14:23that she otherwise would have never had,
14:24which works as escape is fantasy for bullied people.
14:28And Sabrina still has to hide being a witch
14:30while Libby doesn't have to hide anything,
14:33so it's not like she's totally got the upper hand.
14:36She's still not able to abuse magic against her repeatedly
14:39because then people will put two and two together.
14:42And I have to assume the reason she gets away with it,
14:44aside from the obvious reason she always does
14:46that nobody believes in witches,
14:48is that the people in the bathroom assume Libby's doing this to herself
14:51as a minor mental breakdown out of guilt.
14:53Even Libby would have no other choice but to assume this.
14:57And that would only make her more mad at Sabrina
14:59because guilt isn't a nice feeling to have,
15:01and she'd be mad at herself for that moment of weakness,
15:04and would want to come up with justifications
15:05for why she shouldn't do that to herself.
15:08Realistically, she would have gone to therapy
15:10because of the events of the show,
15:11which would be worth it for the sake of her own self-improvement.
15:14The only way that she wouldn't have gotten less popular because of this
15:19would be that they're taking advantage of her because of her wealth.
15:23If there's not a very good reason for why these people are hanging out with her,
15:26you'd think she would have lost her friends because of this?
15:30As for why Sabrina won't get punished by the witches spying on her for all of this,
15:34I assume they're smart enough not to care as long as nobody figures out it was her,
15:38and they're racist against mortals for not being gifted,
15:41so they just find it funny when she abuses her power on them.
15:44Which is worth it for the show getting to have these jokes.
15:48Instead of taking itself way too seriously.
15:51Sabrina goes home and loves her family enough to say,
15:53Hi, I'm home, as soon as she goes home.
15:56She appreciates seeing her aunts wait for her in the kitchen
15:59and give some affection to Salem.
16:01Once again, her idiot aunts don't tell her to use magic
16:04and instead of just give her a spell book from her dad
16:07and don't open it up for her right away.
16:09They know she doesn't believe them.
16:12She opens the book and sees an old-fashioned photo of her dad in it
16:16that you'd think witches would magically call her in,
16:20and it talks to her saying it is her dad.
16:23Then after being told happy birthday,
16:25she realistically says that it's high tech,
16:28and so it makes sense that she doesn't catch on
16:30when her dad responds to her in a way that makes it obvious
16:33that he understood what she was saying.
16:35She thinks she's talking to a holographic camera connected to Skype now,
16:40which is sort of true because her dad says she's talking to her from a different realm
16:44and she thought he was from the Toronto Midway Motor Lodge.
16:48Why did she get shown proof that she's a witch
16:50that would freak her out if she believed it was magical?
16:53I thought the whole point was to have her first experience with magic feel empowering instead of scary.
16:59So now they have no excuse for mishandling it.
17:02I'm glad when George Gladder wrote a story about Sabrina finding out she's a witch of 16 outside of the show,
17:08her aunts just proved it to her right away.
17:11Sabrina's dad is annoyed with her aunts because Sabrina doesn't know she's a witch
17:15when he really should have assumed that she wouldn't believe them.
17:19And the scene goes just like you'd expect annoyingly,
17:22as I'm wishing someone would just use magic.
17:25Sabrina asks them if they wanted to believe that she and her aunts aren't who she thought they were,
17:30and instead of one of them reassuring her that they still are and just also have powers,
17:35Hilda says she finally gets it like a moron,
17:39while Zelda was also too stupid to reassure her after that red flag,
17:43implying that she thinks that if they turn out to be witches,
17:46then they actually were completely different people somehow.
17:49In the source material, Zelda is the ditzy one,
17:52and Hilda is the, in her opinion, responsible one.
17:57She plans to go to her room, and finally Salem talks to her,
18:02which is also not something that happened in the source material.
18:05But he's entertaining enough to be worth it.
18:08And now she doesn't blame technology,
18:11and immediately asks if the cat just talked.
18:14This is the 90s, so cell phones with video and Skype access aren't common yet.
18:20Wouldn't you just assume this was another talking hologram?
18:23It's explained later in the show why her father couldn't be in the room with her
18:27and didn't keep warping to her to have raised her.
18:29It's not because he's a coward.
18:31It's because he's not allowed to be with her because he had a kid with a mortal,
18:34and then she divorced him.
18:36Sabrina should have been told about this right in this episode.
18:40Because you think she would ask why if her father can teleport,
18:42he doesn't spend any time with her.
18:44Or that she would have tried to warp to her mom,
18:46or warp her mom to her in this very first episode.
18:50And so the ants would want to prevent that.
18:53Sabrina says, oh my god, and runs into her room.
18:57Zelda uses magic to make the book float over to Sabrina out of laziness,
19:00which is kind of smart of her, but it freaks Sabrina out.
19:04So first she refuses to open the book.
19:07And I guess she only did so because she hurt her dad.
19:10She somehow still is in denial at first that she's a witch.
19:14She somehow wants to be normal instead of simply wishing she had magical powers without being a witch.
19:20Like a normal person.
19:23She talks to her father and gets told that he was in the foreign service,
19:26but it's more foreign than she thought.
19:28And she says she wants to go live with her mother instead,
19:31so just the idea that her aunts are witches already makes her consider rejecting them.
19:37So you'd think she'd still hate her aunts for the rest of the show.
19:40Or at least for a couple episodes.
19:42Her dad has the common sense to tell her right now that if she sees her mom in the next two years,
19:47her mom will turn into a ball of wax.
19:50So since he said this, there would be no excuse for it happening to her.
19:54Especially not if it happens more than two years later.
19:57Because then he retroactively lied for no reason.
20:00Or the Witch's Council lied to him for no reason.
20:04And you'd think the internet would have told him that that's the kind of thing that gets lied about.
20:08As in the witch internet.
20:10It makes sense that it'd be more than just a two year limit.
20:13Because racism against mortals is the only reason this would be a rule.
20:18And with that logic, why would Sabrina ever be allowed to see her mom again?
20:21So if they undid that two year limit later in the show, that's better writing.
20:26He tells her it's the way they discourage witch and mortal marriages.
20:30He says that if she ever needs him, he's in the index.
20:34And yet somehow she never talks to her own dad for the rest of the show.
20:38Or if she does, she barely ever does it.
20:40Somehow.
20:40I guess it's because she resents him for never being there for her.
20:45Sabrina's told to turn orange into an apple.
20:48And somehow she turns it into a pineapple.
20:51So that's dog shit writing.
20:54She would have been imagining an apple.
20:56She certainly wouldn't end up making tons of pineapples.
21:00I guess I'm glad her aunts didn't get rid of the pineapples with magic right away.
21:05They could use them.
21:06Somehow, Sabrina still considers trying to turn Salem into an apple.
21:11And her aunts of course tell her to stop and warn her to be careful as she points her finger at it.
21:17When she tells Hilda she's doing that to her, she says she's got the safety on.
21:21Then if witches can do that for themselves,
21:23why won't either of her aunts put the safety on her fingers every time she goes to school?
21:28Either they're impossibly stupid, or it's impossible to do that,
21:33which could only be the case if the Witches Council casts a spell to make that impossible because it could be abused.
21:39Muggers could cast a safety spell to make mugging a breeze.
21:43Etc.
21:44So even though it would only be very rare,
21:47there would be enough fear mongering to have such a spell banned.
21:50I wish this was explained because without me stopping the episode to figure this out,
21:55her aunts continue looking like complete idiots who are indirectly responsible for the whole conflict.
22:01As for why they don't tell her to cast a safety lock on her fingers,
22:05she's impossibly bad at magic right now.
22:07And even when she gets good at it,
22:09she can't be trusted to actually keep the spell on the whole time she's at school.
22:12And it's already stressful enough on her living with witches,
22:16so maybe it'd be the last straw if she was told Zelda or someone else would be spying on her the whole time she's at school.
22:23As an incentive to not abuse her magic too much.
22:27So that's why they don't tell her that.
22:30Oh yeah, the reason her aunts couldn't just give her a potion to drink or a magic artifact to keep to temporarily make her mortal at school
22:36would be that those would have been banned too from criminals abusing them.
22:40And you never know who might turn out to want to abuse them,
22:44so it'd be banned from everybody.
22:46And as for why those criminals can't just zap them up anyway,
22:50I guess whenever you zap them up, they don't have magic in them,
22:53so they can't be used.
22:55Because that would be creating magic out of nothing.
22:58That would be pretty overpowered.
23:00The only reason the Witches Council not making her immortal whenever she's at school could be believable
23:04would be that they think mortals deserve magic abuse,
23:07and that Witches should learn the consequences of selfish or stupid magic use,
23:12because it'll make them more mature.
23:14This is one of the only justifications aside from her aunts are massive idiots
23:18for why aunts don't just tell her to put her magic in a jar every time she's gonna go to school.
23:23That might be more realistic,
23:25and probably would be what most Witches would do if they lived in the real world.
23:30But that'd make for a very boring show.
23:32Why did Sabrina float in her sleep again when she didn't want to?
23:36Why'd she fall down?
23:38She'd feel that she was floating,
23:40so she'd want to try to just roll out of bed.
23:43And all she'd have to do is imagine that she's not floating anymore.
23:46I feel to accept that all she can do is make pineapples.
23:50How else would magic work if not
23:52you visualize and it happens?
23:54Or you make a wish and it happens?
23:56Which is literally what the show already told you is how it worked.
24:01So she just wished to not be floating anymore.
24:05She ends up not caring if she's late for school,
24:07because she naturally assumes she can just turn back time.
24:10Like she did in the 70s comics.
24:13She's told she can't,
24:15but only because that's against the rules.
24:17All of a sudden.
24:19Realistically, she would have been told what the punishment for breaking the rule was
24:22just to make sure.
24:24But it's realistic that there is a rule against it,
24:26and I guess it's believable that her aunts would think that's enough,
24:28because her imagination could run wild
24:30thinking of all the different punishments witches could give her.
24:33For God forbid, turning back time a few minutes,
24:36which nobody but her would ever notice.
24:39That's the nature of the spell, infant.
24:42That rule would be unenforceable.
24:45I guess the logic is,
24:47if you didn't ban it,
24:49time would never progress,
24:50because there would always be some witch turning back time.
24:53But they would only turn it back from their perspective.
24:57Actually, they would be sending their consciousness back in time,
25:00not literally turning back time for everybody.
25:04So nobody would notice.
25:05It would literally be a victimless crime.
25:08Naturally, Sabrina says,
25:10you're kidding.
25:11She's told she also can't get rid of cellulite.
25:14That's ridiculous.
25:16Witches can transform anything to anything.
25:18Cellulite is deposits of fat within tissue
25:25that give a puckered and dimpled appearance to the skin surface.
25:30So yeah, there's absolutely no reason of which one to be able to get rid of that.
25:35Witches can shapeshift themselves,
25:36and I'm sure they've done it in the show,
25:39so that would require getting rid of fat as well.
25:43It should have explained that
25:45the only reason she said this
25:47was that she was lying to her
25:48so she wouldn't overdo it
25:50and look too skinny.
25:53The story gets boring for a while.
25:55There's no reason there would be a pop quiz
25:57on the second day of school.
26:00If you're not going to make high school believable,
26:02and it's not even a remotely comedic way,
26:04don't even try to show them in the classrooms
26:06at times like this.
26:08This wasn't mandatory for the plot progression at all.
26:11So more boring mortal life stuff for a while.
26:15If there's nothing to talk about,
26:17I won't even discuss it.
26:19I'm glad Harvey apologizes to Sabrina
26:21for hurting her with a football by accident.
26:24That is something a comic Harvey would do.
26:27Accidentally hurt someone.
26:29When Libby spills something on Sabrina on purpose,
26:32Sabrina ends up causing a tornado or earthquake
26:34that makes everybody hide under the tables
26:37and send stuff onto the floor.
26:39Which proves she can do stuff
26:40other than make people turn into pineapples.
26:43That was a pretty badass moment.
26:46She tells Hilda she turned the most popular girl
26:48in school into a pineapple.
26:50She somehow didn't just turn her back to normal
26:52by imagining she wasn't a pineapple anymore.
26:56Again,
26:57her just wishing something
26:59caused it to happen.
27:00So she would have just wished
27:02she wasn't a pineapple anymore
27:04and she'd immediately go back to normal.
27:07And I don't even know why
27:08I have to make this distinction.
27:09If you wish something,
27:11then you're even for a tiny instant
27:13visualizing.
27:15So it's visualization anyway.
27:17She somehow blames her aunts for this
27:19by saying that's the only thing
27:21they taught her how to do
27:22when what they tried to teach her
27:24was to turn things into apples.
27:27Why does she think
27:27she can't turn it back to normal?
27:29She made some scary weather happen.
27:32She already proved she can do more
27:34than just making people pineapples
27:35without even trying.
27:37She just made it happen
27:38because she must have wanted it to happen
27:40to have the weather sympathize with her mood
27:42and make her look badass.
27:44So if she can make specific stuff happen
27:47just because she wanted to,
27:49why does she think she can't just point
27:50and make Libby normal again
27:51because she wanted to?
27:53Hilda's first instinct
27:55is to try to cut up the pineapple.
27:57Even though she wasn't told
27:58that the person turned into a pineapple
28:00was Libby
28:00or even a bad person.
28:02I guess this is just her
28:03being racist against mortals
28:05and attached to Sabrina
28:06as a family member
28:07to the point where she just assumes
28:08anyone Sabrina would want
28:09to use magic on
28:10must deserve to be cut up
28:12as a pineapple.
28:13Or more simply,
28:15she hates her for all the stuff
28:16that she did to her off screen.
28:19It's amazing they were allowed
28:20to get away with such an overly dark joke
28:22for Sabrina in a 90s sitcom.
28:25No wonder they went on
28:25to do that other show.
28:28Well, at least Hilda's faithful
28:29in one aspect.
28:31Zelda completely nonchalantly
28:33tells her not to do that
28:34because it's just a mortal
28:35who she assumes deserved
28:37to be turned into a pineapple,
28:38I guess.
28:39Or else she'd be really mad at her.
28:41It's bad writing that the episode
28:43hasn't proven to us
28:44that she's actually a good person
28:46aside from how she interacts
28:47with other witches.
28:49She somehow has to say a spell
28:52to turn Libby back to normal
28:53that only involves words
28:55that mention a popular girl.
28:57Somehow the spell works.
28:59Sabrina would have told her
29:00exactly who she turned into a pineapple
29:02so she'd know who to imagine.
29:05I'm just forced to assume
29:06that before this,
29:07Sabrina told them that Libby
29:09was the most popular girl in school
29:10off screen so she knew who it was.
29:13How is Libby already
29:14the most popular girl in school
29:16on her first day?
29:18She's even in the same class
29:19as Sabrina.
29:21So she is in the same grade.
29:24Unless she got held back a year.
29:26And yet the girls in the bathroom
29:28with her were talking about
29:29how young some of the freshmen looked
29:30as if they were older than them.
29:33I just have to assume
29:34Libby's already popular
29:35quote unquote
29:36because she's rich.
29:37So she already had a way
29:39of getting the older girls
29:40in her side.
29:41Or those girls are just
29:42not young looking
29:43and still look down
29:44on young looking freshmen
29:45because they're snobs.
29:47As usual,
29:48it's implausible
29:49that a rich person
29:50would be sent to a public school.
29:52And the show's gonna reveal
29:53that no,
29:53her mother isn't the type of person
29:55who would want her kid
29:56to go to a public school
29:57so she wouldn't end up
29:58like a rich snob.
30:00I guess it's her father
30:01who I don't remember.
30:02Or Libby's only in the public school
30:04because her parents don't care
30:05how she'll end up.
30:07It wasn't established
30:07in this episode
30:08that Libby's rich
30:09so it avoids her being
30:11as much of a cartoon cliche
30:12as possible
30:13like with Gem Stone.
30:15But she was still
30:15such a confusing
30:16one note mean girl
30:18for no reason anyways
30:19that she's impossible
30:20to take seriously
30:21as a character for me.
30:22What's so hard
30:23about explaining
30:24why she started
30:25to look down on Sabrina?
30:27When as far as everyone knows
30:28Sabrina's perfect.
30:30At least with the animated series
30:31I eventually got the fan theory
30:33from the subtle moments
30:34of Lizzie
30:34that Gem's just lashing out
30:36at Sabrina
30:37from a crush on her.
30:38When she said a poem
30:39that was supposed to be seen
30:39as a love poem to herself
30:41she talked about
30:42blue eyes like Sabrina's
30:44when she has brown eyes.
30:46So the best I can do
30:47is wonder if Libby's
30:48lashing out at Sabrina
30:49because she's pretty.
30:51Because the way
30:52their dynamics depicted
30:53Sabrina wouldn't have started it.
30:56At least not on purpose.
30:58Maybe Sabrina corrected her
31:00on something she was wrong about
31:01in front of people.
31:03That is something
31:04that an extremely petty
31:05pathetic person
31:07would block someone
31:08on social media over.
31:10Anyway Libby predictably
31:11freaks out about
31:12being in their house.
31:14Realistically she would assume
31:15she got roofied.
31:17Libby somehow remembers
31:18that she was sent to a place
31:19that smells like Hawaii.
31:21But doesn't remember
31:22her entire experience
31:23as a pineapple.
31:25So that's how the nature
31:26of the spell is.
31:28I guess it's made that way
31:30by the witch's council
31:31for sadism.
31:33Sabrina says sorry
31:34and gets threatened
31:35that the whole school
31:36is going to know about it.
31:38Somehow her aunts
31:39let her go
31:39and don't comfort Sabrina
31:41by telling her
31:41that they can just erase
31:42her memory of this
31:43or that no one
31:44will ever believe her
31:45about this anyways.
31:47They could give her
31:48a time to memory
31:49a racing spell
31:49that would activate
31:50as soon as she gets
31:51to the school.
31:53Instead the show
31:53pulls a cop out
31:54by revealing that
31:55they can turn back time
31:56if witches act
31:57as a collective
31:58and that the witch's council
32:00only grants time travel
32:01and emergencies.
32:03Earlier one of them
32:04talked as if
32:05you can turn back time
32:06but you're not allowed to.
32:08The story after this
32:10for a while
32:10is blatant padding
32:11and boring.
32:13She somehow left it
32:14at
32:14I'd like to turn back time
32:16instead of telling them
32:17why she wanted that.
32:19It's just really cringy
32:20to see Sabrina
32:21embarrass herself
32:22in front of the council
32:23by whining about stuff
32:24they don't care about.
32:26Why would she think
32:27they would care about
32:27the fact that
32:28she wore the wrong
32:29shoes to school?
32:31At least she did get
32:32to make a good case
32:32after that
32:33because she does
32:34get to tell the council
32:35that Livy spilled soda
32:36on her
32:37and she has the power
32:38to turn the whole school
32:39against her.
32:41At least the council
32:41was nice enough
32:42to not outright tell her
32:43she's denied
32:44this time
32:45like he did
32:45the first time.
32:47This time they just say
32:48they might get to it
32:49eventually
32:49but why did they
32:51act completely
32:52differently this time?
32:54I guess he's not
32:54really as evil
32:55as he acted earlier.
32:57She ends up getting
32:58told by Salem
32:59why he was turned
32:59into a cat.
33:00Why wasn't she
33:02told this a lot earlier?
33:04The next day
33:05she gets a toaster mail
33:06telling her
33:06a request denied.
33:09She refuses to go
33:10to school
33:10and the aunts
33:11don't tell her
33:12that they can
33:12erase memories.
33:14Instead Hilda
33:15tells her to
33:15toughen up
33:16twice in a row
33:17uselessly
33:18and Zelda says
33:19who cares
33:20what the other kids
33:21think?
33:22It is good advice
33:23for a person
33:24but she should have
33:24called them out
33:25that they're refusing
33:26to use memory
33:26raising powers
33:27for her.
33:28She already assumed
33:29that a witch
33:30could turn back
33:31time
33:31so she doesn't
33:32think she's
33:33super limited
33:33in her powers
33:34anyways.
33:36Sabrina thankfully
33:37explains that
33:38Libby thought
33:38she was a freak
33:39before this.
33:41I say thankfully
33:41because it's the only
33:42way it could make
33:43sense.
33:44Her aunts feel
33:44sorry for her
33:45and Zelda ends up
33:46encouraging Hilda
33:47to talk to a member
33:48of the witch's council
33:49for Sabrina
33:50because she used
33:50to date him.
33:52This scene shows
33:53how much they care
33:53about her.
33:54We don't get to see
33:55her pulling his mole
33:56even though that'd be
33:57funny.
33:58And also scary
33:59because logically
34:00he would do bad
34:00things to her
34:01and her whole family
34:02because of this.
34:04I guess we're
34:04supposed to assume
34:05that because
34:06they used to date
34:07he's just so
34:08desperate to be
34:09with her again
34:10and so attracted
34:11to her that he's
34:11not gonna get
34:12revenge for this.
34:14So Sabrina doesn't
34:15get to face
34:15the realistic
34:16consequences
34:17and instead
34:18get to see a
34:19fun bunch of
34:20scenes where
34:20Sabrina has a
34:21great day at
34:21school.
34:23This ends up
34:23with Harvey
34:23making plans to
34:24be with her
34:25instead of
34:25going to a party
34:26and Sabrina
34:26using magic
34:27to have liquid
34:28from a cop
34:29spray up at
34:30Livvy's face
34:30to prevent her
34:31from embarrassing
34:32her.
34:32It's nice that
34:33she got away
34:34with that
34:34but there's
34:34no way
34:35this could be
34:36explained away
34:36with science.
34:38The liquid
34:38literally sneezed
34:39itself up onto
34:40Livvy's face
34:41in front of
34:41everyone at the
34:42table.
34:43The only thing
34:43protecting her
34:44is that nobody
34:44believes in
34:45witches so they
34:46doubt she was a
34:46witch if they
34:47suspected it.
34:48I assume they're
34:49all Christian
34:49so they would
34:50just assume that
34:51a demon did
34:51this to her.
34:52Sabrina's friends
34:53would assume
34:53that guardian
34:54angels exist
34:55since that
34:56wouldn't reflect
34:56badly on Sabrina
34:57while Livvy would
34:59either blame devils
35:00or convince herself
35:00she hallucinated it.
35:02The reason I'm not
35:03saying that she
35:04figures her out
35:04from this
35:05is that a later
35:06episode does have
35:07her find out
35:07she's a witch
35:08and she tries to
35:09expose her like
35:10a moron.
35:11So that's not it.
35:13As for why
35:14Sabrina just does
35:15this to Livvy
35:15instead of trying
35:16to make her nice
35:17to her,
35:18she's against
35:18brainwashing like
35:19everyone else.
35:21So she decided
35:21to let her cause
35:22her constant
35:22humiliation and
35:23stress for the
35:24rest of her
35:24school days with
35:25her instead
35:26because in the
35:27moments in between
35:27those ones,
35:29at least she
35:29wouldn't be
35:29feeling guilty.
35:31Even though if
35:32she was brainwashed
35:32she wouldn't be
35:33giving Sabrina
35:33a reason to
35:34torture her with
35:35her magic.
35:36And she'd be
35:36happier that way.
35:38The rest of the
35:39story ends without
35:39what you'd expect
35:40with her being
35:41happy.
35:42And I like that
35:42she gets to make
35:43milk for herself
35:43to drink and
35:44says that she
35:45could get used
35:45to it.
35:47It sucks that in a
35:47show about
35:48depicting a
35:48surprisingly good
35:49hearted modern
35:50teenage witch,
35:51it fails at that
35:52goal in the
35:53sense that at
35:53no point does
35:54she ever use
35:55magic for good.
35:56And most of
35:57the time she
35:57just used it
35:58for evil.
35:59This is the
35:59first time she
36:00used it for a
36:01neutral reason.
36:02And it was
36:02still bad because
36:03it kept her from
36:04getting a little
36:04exercise by
36:05walking to the
36:06fridge to pour
36:07herself milk.
36:08So it still
36:09wouldn't convince
36:09anyone to
36:10sympathize with
36:10this type of
36:11magical being.
36:13Like I say
36:14it's neutral
36:14because on the
36:16one hand it
36:16saves your
36:17aunt's money,
36:18on the other
36:18hand that's less
36:19money that could
36:20have gone to
36:21somebody.
36:22This was written
36:23by Barney
36:24Cowan and
36:25Catherine Wallach.
36:28I'm just going
36:28to mention the
36:29writers.
36:30This episode about
36:31Sabrina being
36:32impossibly bad
36:33at magic and
36:34almost ruining her
36:35reputation was
36:36hard to believe
36:36sometimes because
36:37her aunts were
36:38holding massive
36:39idiot balls so
36:40they didn't tell
36:40her how to cast
36:41a spell right
36:42away and also
36:44didn't put a
36:45lock on her
36:45ability to use
36:46magic or turn
36:49the safety
36:49on which
36:50caused her to
36:51accidentally bring
36:52a frog to
36:53life and
36:54instead they
36:54somehow expected
36:55her to believe
36:56them that she's
36:56a witch.
36:58It did feel
36:59realistic though
37:00in how she kept
37:00using magic without
37:01meaning to until
37:02she freaked out
37:03Libby because in
37:04a sense she did
37:05want to even
37:06without knowing
37:07she had magic
37:08and it was just
37:09responding to
37:10wishes she made
37:10in her head.
37:12If magic couldn't
37:13do that then
37:14witches never
37:14would have found
37:15out they had
37:15magic in the
37:16first place.
37:18But it was
37:18impossible to
37:19believe that she
37:19wanted to just
37:20turn Libby back
37:21to normal herself
37:22after the bad
37:22weather she made
37:23would have proven
37:24that she could do
37:24more than just
37:25turn things into
37:26pineapples.
37:28She already knows
37:28magic grants her
37:29wishes without her
37:30even consciously
37:30trying to use it.
37:32Why don't she have
37:33just erased Libby's
37:34memory because she
37:34wished she didn't
37:35remember that
37:36instead of her
37:37aunts getting
37:37guilted into
37:38giving her a
37:39convenient do-over
37:40for the day so
37:40there can be a
37:41happy ending?
37:42But it does
37:43succeed as a pilot
37:44in the sense that
37:45it immerses you
37:45in the world
37:46making you believe
37:47in the reality of
37:48the show and
37:49sympathize with
37:50all of the
37:50characters.
37:51Zelda shows she
37:52loves her from
37:53the first scene
37:54and even Hilda
37:55wants her to
37:55turn out well
37:56and she loves her
37:57enough to go
37:58back to her
37:59ex-boyfriend so
38:00she can have a
38:00do-over for a
38:01day despite
38:03infuriatingly telling
38:04her to topen up.
38:05So that was just
38:06an act.
38:08At least the aunts
38:08aren't malicious
38:09and control freaks
38:10this episode.
38:12And while Sabrina
38:12is still an idiot
38:13most of her
38:14character moments
38:15are still about
38:15her being unusually
38:16nice with her
38:17only meanness
38:18being to a bully
38:19it's later episodes
38:20where the characters
38:21go downhill.
38:23So this is a good
38:23episode by Sabrina
38:24sitcom standards.
38:26It's realistic
38:27for the average
38:28girl that she
38:28ends up just
38:29abusing it without
38:30thinking the
38:30consequences through
38:31using it against
38:32the bully and
38:33the only well
38:34intentioned spell
38:35without an
38:35irrational misplaced
38:37compassion for a
38:37dead frog.
38:39It should have been
38:39compassion for a
38:40fellow student so
38:41she could feel
38:42like an inspiring
38:43superhero that's
38:44most of the appeal
38:45of the 70s comic
38:46in the first place
38:47instead of the
38:49episode ultimately
38:49being about vilifying
38:51witchcraft as usual.
38:53At least the happy
38:53ending has a purpose
38:54by making you glad
38:55Sabrina has access
38:56to magic because
38:57she's a likable
38:58protagonist so far.
39:00My problem is
39:00the show didn't go
39:01far enough because
39:02she never helps
39:03anyone with it.
39:04When with 70s
39:05Sabrina that was
39:06her whole thing.
39:07That was the usual
39:08cause of the plot.
39:09So this misses the
39:11whole point of
39:11the source material
39:12that Sabrina's
39:13a good witch
39:14rebelling against
39:15the other ones
39:15in the process
39:16and Harvey's her
39:18boyfriend from the
39:18start that Hilda
39:19hates.
39:21And he's supposed
39:21to be doing
39:22slapstick to Hilda
39:23not Sabrina.
39:24And this pilot
39:25doesn't actually
39:26showcase what
39:26most of the
39:27show's episodes
39:28are like.
39:29Most of the
39:29show's episodes
39:30are about cramming
39:31a lesson of the
39:31day down your
39:32throat at Sabrina's
39:33expense.
39:34But with this
39:35one the one
39:36time it tries to
39:37teach a lesson
39:38Sabrina doesn't
39:39have to learn it
39:39yet because of
39:40the day do-over.
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