The Black Adder - Complete Season 3 - SD 480 de Aquellas_Maravillosas_Series - Dailymotion

Aquellas_Maravillosas_Series

Blackadder the Third is vaguely set in the late 18th and early 19th century period known as the Regency, although it is not possible to precisely date any episode as the historical events and persons depicted and referenced are (perhaps intentionally) anachronistic. For example, the formal Regency (during which King George III was incapacitated due to poor mental health and his son, George, Prince of Wales, served as regent) was in place between 1811 and 1820, and the series repeatedly refers to George as "Prince Regent". However, the second episode depicts Samuel Johnson (who died in 1784) working on his groundbreaking dictionary (which was published in 1755). Likewise, the final episode is set just before the Battle of Trafalgar (1805), but refers to George as Prince Regent, depicts George III as suffering from mental illness, and refers to Arthur Wellesley, who was not created "Viscount Wellington" until 1809, as "Wellington".

Transcript

00:00I'll see you next time.

00:30Oh! Oh! Oh! Blackadder! Blackadder!

00:39Your Highness.

00:40What time is it?

00:42Three o'clock in the afternoon, Your Highness.

00:44Oh, thank God for that. I thought I'd overslept.

00:46I trust you had a pleasant evening, sir.

00:49Well, no, actually. The most extraordinary thing happened.

00:53Last night, I was having a bit of a snack at the naughty Hellfire Club,

00:56and some fellow said that I had the wit and sophistication of a donkey.

01:01Oh, an absurd suggestion, sir.

01:03You're right, it is absurd.

01:04Unless, of course, it was a particularly stupid donkey.

01:09See, if only I'd thought of saying that.

01:11Well, that is so often the way, sir, too late one thinks of what one should have said.

01:15Sir Thomas More, for instance, burned alive for refusing to recant his Catholicism.

01:20Must have been kicking himself as the flames licked higher,

01:23that it never occurred to him to say, I recant my Catholicism.

01:28Well, yes, you see.

01:29Only the other day, Prime Minister Pitt called me an idle scrounger.

01:33And it wasn't until ages later that I thought how clever it would have been

01:36to have said, oh, bugger off, you old fart!

01:39I need to imprint my mind, Blackadder.

01:42I want people to say, that George, why,

01:45he's as clever as a stick in a bucket of pig swill.

01:47And how do you suggest this miracle is to be achieved, Your Highness?

01:51Easy!

01:52I shall become best friends with the cleverest man in England.

01:56That renowned brain box, Dr Samuel Johnson,

01:58has asked me to be patron of this new book that I intend to accept.

02:02Would this be the long-awaited dictionary, sir?

02:05Who cares about the title, as long as there's plenty of juicy murders in it?

02:08I hear it's a masterpiece.

02:09No, sir, it is not.

02:11It's the most pointless book since How to Learn French was translated into French.

02:16You haven't got anything personal against Johnson, have you, Blackadder?

02:22Good Lord, sir, not at all.

02:24In fact, I'd never heard of him until you mentioned him just now.

02:27But you do think he's a genius?

02:29No, sir, I do not.

02:31Unless, of course, the definition of genius in his ridiculous dictionary

02:34is a fat dullard or wobble-bottomed,

02:37a pompous ass with sweaty dewflap.

02:43Well, close shave there, then.

02:45Lucky you warned me.

02:47I was about to embrace this unholy arse to the royal bosom.

02:50I'm delighted to have been instrumental in keeping your bosom free of arses.

02:55Bravo!

02:56Don't want to waste my valuable time with wobble-bottoms.

02:59Fetch some tea, will you, Blackadder?

03:01Certainly, sir.

03:01Oh, and make it two cups, will you?

03:03That splendid brain box, Dr Johnson's coming round.

03:05Ha!

03:11Something wrong, Mr B?

03:12Oh, something's always wrong, Balders.

03:16The fact that I'm not a millionaire aristocrat

03:19with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant nigger.

03:23But today, something's even wronger.

03:26That globulus fraud, Dr Johnson, is coming to tea.

03:29I thought he was the cleverest man in England.

03:31Baldrick, I'd bump into cleverer people

03:33at a lodge meeting of the Guild of Village Idiots.

03:37That's not what you said when you sent him your navel.

03:40Novel, Baldrick, not navel.

03:43I sent him my novel.

03:46Well, novel or navel,

03:47it sounds a bit like a bag of grapefruits to me.

03:50The phrase, Baldrick,

03:51is a case of sour grapes.

03:53And yes, it bloody well is.

03:55I mean, he might at least have written back,

03:56but no, nothing.

03:58Not even a dear Gertrude Perkins,

04:00thank you for your book,

04:01gets stuffed Samuel Johnson.

04:04Gertrude Perkins?

04:05Yes, I gave myself a female pseudonym.

04:08Everybody's doing it these days.

04:10Mrs Radcliffe,

04:11Jane Austen.

04:12What, Jane Austen's a man?

04:14Of course.

04:15A huge Yorkshireman

04:16with a beard like a rhododendron.

04:19Oh, quite a small one, then.

04:21Well, compared to Dorothy Wordsworth,

04:23certainly.

04:24James Boswell is the only real woman

04:26writing at the moment,

04:27and that's just because

04:28she wants to get inside Johnson's britches.

04:31Perhaps your book really isn't any good.

04:33No, codwollop.

04:34It's taken me seven years,

04:36and it's perfect.

04:37Edmund,

04:38a butler's tale.

04:39A giant rollercoaster of a novel

04:42in 400 sizzling chapters.

04:45A searing indictment

04:46of domestic servitude

04:47in the 18th century

04:48with some hot gypsies thrown in.

04:51My magnum opus, Boric.

04:53Everybody has one novel in them,

04:55and this is mine.

04:56And this is mine.

04:59My magnificent octopus.

05:02This is your novel, Boric.

05:04Yeah, I can't stand long books.

05:07Once upon a time,

05:08there was a lovely little sausage

05:09called Boric.

05:12And it lived happily ever after.

05:16It's semi-autobiographical.

05:18And it's completely, utterly awful.

05:21Dr Johnson will probably love it.

05:24Oh, speak of the devil.

05:27Well, I'd better go

05:28and make the great doctor comfortable.

05:31Let's just see how damn smart

05:33Dr Fatty know-it-all really is.

05:36Oh, and prepare a fire

05:37for the prince, will you, Boric.

05:38What shall I use?

05:39Oh, any old rubbish will do.

05:41The paper's quite good.

05:42Here, try this for starters.

05:47Enter.

05:49Dr Johnson, Your Highness.

05:50Ah, Dr Johnson.

05:52Damn cold day.

05:53Indeed it is, sir,

05:54but a verified one.

05:55For I celebrated last night

05:57the encyclopedic implementation

05:58of my premeditated orchestration

06:00of Dermotic Anglo-Saxon.

06:05Nope, didn't catch any of that.

06:07Well, I simply observed, sir,

06:08that I'm felicitous,

06:09since during the course

06:10of the penultimate solar sojourn,

06:12I terminated my uninterrupted categorisation

06:15of the vocabulary

06:16of our post-Normantime.

06:19Oh, I don't know what you're talking about,

06:23but it sounds damn saucy,

06:24you wicked thing.

06:25I know some fairly liberal-minded girls,

06:27but I've never penultimated

06:28any of them in that solar sojourn.

06:31If I had to have been given

06:31any Norman tongue.

06:36I believe, sir,

06:37that the doctor is trying to tell you

06:39that he is happy

06:39because he has finished his book.

06:41It has apparently taken him

06:43ten years.

06:44Yes, well,

06:45I'm a slow reader myself.

06:46Here it is, sir,

06:52the very cornerstone

06:53of English scholarship.

06:55This book, sir,

06:56contains every word

06:57in our beloved language.

06:59Oh, every single one, sir?

07:01Every single word, sir.

07:03Well, in that case, sir,

07:04I hope you will not object

07:05if I also offer the doctor

07:07my most enthusiastic

07:08contrafamiliarities.

07:11What?

07:13Contrafamiliarities, sir?

07:14It is a common word

07:15down our way.

07:17Damn!

07:18Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

07:20I'm an aspeptic,

07:22phrasmotic,

07:23even compunctuous

07:26to have caused you

07:26such pericombobulation.

07:29What?

07:30What?

07:31What are you all about, Blackadder?

07:32This is all beginning to sound

07:33a bit like Dago talk to me.

07:35I'm sorry, sir.

07:36I merely wished

07:37to congratulate the doctor

07:38on not having left out

07:39a single word.

07:42Shall I fetch the tea,

07:43Your Highness?

07:43Yes, yes.

07:44And get that damn fire up here,

07:45will you?

07:46Certainly, sir.

07:47I shall return

07:48interfrastically.

07:53So, Dr. Johnson,

07:55sit you down.

07:56Now, this book of yours,

07:57tell me,

07:58what's it all about?

07:59It is a book

08:00about the English language, sir.

08:02I see.

08:03And the hero's name is what?

08:04There is no hero, sir.

08:07No hero?

08:09Well, lucky I reminded you.

08:10Better put one in pronto.

08:12Call him George.

08:13George is a good name for a hero.

08:15Now, what about heroines?

08:16There is no heroine, sir,

08:18unless it is our mother tongue.

08:20The mother's the heroine.

08:22Nice twist.

08:23How far have we got, then?

08:24Old mother tongue

08:25is in love with George, the hero.

08:27Now, what about murders?

08:28Mother tongue doesn't get murdered,

08:29does she?

08:30No, she doesn't.

08:31No one gets murdered

08:32or married

08:32or in a tricky situation

08:34over a pound note.

08:35Well, now, look, Dr. Johnson,

08:38I may be as thick

08:39as a whale omelette,

08:40but even I know

08:41a book's got to have a plot.

08:44Not this one, sir.

08:45It is a book

08:46that tells you

08:46what English words mean.

08:48I know what English words mean.

08:50I speak English.

08:52You must be a bit of a thicko.

08:54Perhaps you would rather

08:54not be patron of my book

08:56if you can see no value

08:57in it whatsoever, sir.

08:58Well, perhaps so, sir,

08:59as it sounds to me

09:00as if my being patron

09:01of this complete cowpat

09:03of a book

09:03will set the seal

09:04once and for all

09:05on my reputation

09:06as an utter turnip head.

09:08Well, it is a reputation

09:10well dessert, sir.

09:11Farewell.

09:15Leaving already, Doctor?

09:17Not staying for your

09:18appendage-statery interludesville?

09:22No, sir.

09:22Show me out.

09:24Certainly, sir.

09:25Anything I can do

09:26to facilitate

09:26your velocitous extramuralisation.

09:29You will regret this doubly, sir.

09:32Not only have you

09:33impeculiated

09:34my dictionary,

09:35but you have also

09:36lost the chance

09:37to act as patron

09:38to the only book

09:39in the world

09:39that is even better.

09:41Oh.

09:41And what is that, sir?

09:43Dictionary 2?

09:45The return

09:46of the killer dictionary?

09:48No, sir.

09:49It is Edmund,

09:50a butler's tale

09:51by Gertrude's parents.

09:53A huge rollercoaster

09:54of a novel

09:55crammed with sizzling gypsies.

09:59Had you supported it, sir,

10:00it would have made you

10:01and me

10:02and Gertrude

10:03millionaires.

10:05Millionaires.

10:07But it was not for me, sir.

10:09I fare you well,

10:10I shall not return.

10:12Excuse me, sir.

10:13Uh, Dr. Johnson.

10:16A word, I beg you.

10:18A word with you, sir,

10:19can mean

10:19seven million syllables.

10:21You might start now

10:22and not be finished

10:22by bedtime.

10:23Oh!

10:24Blast my eyes!

10:25In my fury

10:26I have left my dictionary

10:27with your foolish master.

10:28Go fetch it, will you?

10:29Sir,

10:30the prince is young

10:31and foolish

10:32and has a peanut

10:33for a bread.

10:35Give me just a few minutes

10:36and I will deliver

10:37both the book

10:37and his patronage.

10:39Oh, will you, sir?

10:40I very much doubt it.

10:42A servant who was

10:43an influence for the good

10:44is like a dog

10:45who speaks

10:46very rare.

10:47I think I can change

10:48his mind.

10:49Well, I doubt it, sir.

10:51A man who can change

10:51a prince's mind

10:52is like a dog

10:53who speaks Norwegian

10:54even rarer.

10:56I shall be at

10:57Mrs. Miggins'

10:57literary salon

10:58in 20 minutes.

11:00Bring the book there.

11:02Your Highness,

11:03may I offer

11:03my congratulations?

11:04Well, thanks, Black Adam.

11:05That pompous baboon

11:07won't be back in a hurry.

11:08Oh, on the contrary, sir.

11:10Dr. Johnson left

11:11in the highest of spirits.

11:12What?

11:13He is utterly thrilled

11:14at your promise

11:14to patronise

11:16his dictionary.

11:17Told him to sod off,

11:18didn't I?

11:20Yes, sir,

11:20but that was a joke.

11:22Surely.

11:23Was it?

11:24Certainly.

11:25And a brilliant one,

11:26what's more?

11:28Yes, yes.

11:29I, you know,

11:30I suppose it was rather,

11:31wasn't it?

11:32So may I deliver

11:33your note of patronage

11:34to Dr. Johnson,

11:35as promised?

11:36Well, of course.

11:37If that's what I promised,

11:37then that's what I must do.

11:39And I remember

11:39promising it distinctly.

11:41Excellent.

11:42Nice fire, Baldrick.

11:43Thank you, Mr. B.

11:44Right.

11:44Let's get the book.

11:46Now, Baldrick,

11:47where's the manuscript?

11:49You mean the big papery thing

11:51tied up with string?

11:52Yes, Baldrick,

11:52the manuscript

11:53belonging to Dr. Johnson.

11:55You mean the baity fellow

11:56in the black coat

11:57who just left?

11:58Yes, Baldrick,

11:59Dr. Johnson.

12:00So you're asking

12:01where the big papery thing

12:03tied up with string

12:04belonging to the

12:05baity fellow

12:05in the black coat

12:06who just left is?

12:08Yes, Baldrick,

12:09I am.

12:10And if you don't answer,

12:11then the booted,

12:12bony thing

12:13with five toes

12:14on the end of my leg

12:15will soon connect sharply

12:17with a soft,

12:18dangly collection

12:19of objects

12:19in your shape.

12:22For the last time,

12:24Baldrick,

12:24where is Dr. Johnson's

12:26manuscript?

12:27On the fire.

12:29What the what?

12:29The hot, orangey thing

12:31under the stony

12:32magnet.

12:34You've burnt

12:35the dictionary?

12:36Yes.

12:37You've burnt

12:38the life's work

12:39of England's

12:39foremost man of letters?

12:41Well, you did say

12:42burn any old rubbish.

12:44Yes, fine.

12:45Isn't it a bit difficult

12:47for me to patronise

12:48this book

12:49if we burnt it?

12:51Yes, it is.

12:53If you would

12:53excuse me a moment.

12:54Of course, of course.

12:55Now I've got my lovely fire,

12:57I'm as happy

12:57as a Frenchman

12:58who's invented

12:58a pair of self-removing

13:00trousers.

13:01Baldrick,

13:01would you join me

13:02in the vestibule?

13:08We are going

13:09to go to Mrs. McGinn's.

13:10We're going to find out

13:11where Dr. Johnson

13:12keeps a copy

13:12of that dictionary

13:13and then you

13:14are going to steal it.

13:15Me?

13:15Yes, you.

13:16Why me?

13:17Because you burnt it,

13:18Baldrick.

13:18But then I'll go to hell

13:20forever for stealing.

13:21Baldrick.

13:22Believe me,

13:23eternity

13:24and the company

13:25of Beelzebub

13:26and all his

13:26hellish instruments

13:27of death

13:28will be a picnic

13:29compared to five minutes

13:30with me

13:31and this pencil.

13:34If we can't

13:35replace this dictionary.

13:37Now, come on.

13:37Oh, love-lorn ecstasy

13:40that is Mrs. McGinn's.

13:42Will thou bring me

13:43but one cup

13:43of the brownie juicings

13:45of that naughty bean

13:46we call coffee

13:47ere I die?

13:48Oh!

13:50Oh, you do have a way

13:51of words with you,

13:52Mr. Shelley.

13:53To hell with this

13:54fine-talking coffee woman.

13:56My consumption

13:57grows ever more acute

13:58and Coleridge's drugs

14:00are wearing off.

14:01Oh, Mr. Byron,

14:03don't be such a big

14:03girl's blouse.

14:07Don't forget

14:08the pencil board.

14:09Oh, I certainly won't, sir.

14:13Ah, good day

14:14to you, Mrs. Mickens.

14:16A cup of your best

14:17hot water

14:18with brown grit in it.

14:20Unless, of course,

14:21by some miracle

14:21your coffee shop

14:22has started selling coffee.

14:24Be quiet, sir!

14:25Can't you see we're dying?

14:27Don't you worry

14:28about my poets,

14:29Mr. Blackadder.

14:29They're not dead.

14:31They're just being

14:31intellectual.

14:33Mrs. Mickens,

14:34there's nothing intellectual

14:35about wandering around

14:36Italy in a big shirt

14:37trying to get laid.

14:38Why are they here

14:39of all places?

14:40We are here, sir,

14:41to pay homage

14:42to the great Dr. Johnson,

14:44as, sir, should you.

14:45Oh, well, absolutely.

14:46Um, I intend to.

14:48Uh, you wouldn't happen

14:49to have a copy

14:49of his dictionary

14:50on you, would you,

14:50so I can do some revising

14:52before he gets here.

14:53Friends!

14:54I am returned.

14:56Hooray!

14:57So, sir,

14:58how was the prince?

14:59The prince was

15:00and is an utter fool

15:02and his household

15:03filled with

15:03cretinous servants.

15:07Good afternoon, sir.

15:08And you are

15:09the worst of them, sir.

15:10After all your boasting,

15:12have you my dictionary

15:12and my patronage?

15:14Not quite.

15:15The prince begs

15:16just a few more hours

15:17to really get

15:18to grips with it.

15:19Bah!

15:20Bah!

15:21However,

15:21I was wondering

15:22if a lowly servant

15:23such as I

15:23might be permitted

15:24to glance at a copy.

15:26Copy?

15:27Copy?

15:28There is no copy, sir.

15:30No copy?

15:30No, sir.

15:32Making a copy

15:32is like fitting

15:33wheels to a tomato.

15:34Time-consuming

15:35and completely unnecessary.

15:38But what if the book

15:39got lost?

15:40I should not lose

15:41the book, sir.

15:42And if any other man

15:43should,

15:44I would tear off

15:45his head

15:45with my bare hands

15:46and feed it

15:47to the cat!

15:50Well,

15:50that's nice and clear.

15:52And I,

15:53Lord Byron,

15:54would summon

15:54a fifty of my men,

15:56lay siege

15:57to the pharaoh's house

15:57and do bloody

15:58murder on him.

16:00And I would not rest

16:01until the criminal

16:02was hanging by his hair

16:03with an oriental

16:04disemboweling cutlass

16:05thrust up his ignoble

16:07behind.

16:09I hope you're listening

16:09to all this boring.

16:15Sir,

16:16I have been unable

16:17to replace

16:17the dictionary.

16:18I am therefore

16:19leaving immediately

16:20for Nepal,

16:21where I intend

16:22to live as a goat.

16:25Why?

16:26Because if I stay here,

16:29Dr Johnson's companions

16:30will have me

16:30brutally murdered, sir.

16:32Good God, Blackadder,

16:33that's terrible!

16:34Do you know

16:35any other butlers?

16:37And of course,

16:38when the people discover

16:38that you have burnt

16:39Dr Johnson's dictionary,

16:41they may go around

16:42saying,

16:42look,

16:43there's thick George,

16:44he's got a brain

16:45the size of a weasel's

16:46wedding tackle.

16:47Well, in that case,

16:50something must be done.

16:52I have a cunning plan, sir.

16:55Hurrah!

16:56Well, that's that, then.

16:57I wouldn't get

16:58over-excited, sir.

17:00I have a hard suspicion

17:01that Baldrick's plan

17:02will be the stupidest

17:03thing we've heard

17:04since Lord Nelson's

17:06famous signal

17:07at the Battle of the Nile.

17:09England knows

17:10Lady Hamilton

17:10is a virgin.

17:12Poke my eye out

17:13and cut off my arm

17:14if I'm wrong.

17:15Oh, great!

17:18Let's hear it, then.

17:20It's brilliant.

17:22You take the string,

17:24that's still not

17:24completely burnt,

17:26you scrape off the soot

17:27and you shove

17:29the pages in again.

17:31Which pages?

17:32Well, not the same ones,

17:34of course.

17:34Yes, I think I'm on the point

17:35of spotting the flaw

17:36in this plan.

17:38But do go on.

17:40Which pages are they?

17:41Well, this is the brilliant bit.

17:43You write some new ones.

17:46Some new ones.

17:47You mean rewrite

17:48the dictionary.

17:49I sit down tonight

17:50and rewrite

17:51the dictionary

17:52that took Dr. Johnson

17:53ten years.

17:54Yep.

17:55Baldrick,

17:56that is by far

17:57and away

17:57and without a shadow

17:58of doubt

17:59the worst

18:00and most contemptible

18:01plan in the history

18:02of the universe.

18:04On the other hand,

18:05I hear the sound

18:07of disembowelling

18:08cutlasses

18:08being sharpened.

18:10That's the only plan

18:11we've got.

18:11So if you will

18:12excuse me, gentlemen.

18:13Perhaps you'd like me

18:14to lend a hand, Blackadder.

18:15I'm not as stupid

18:16as I look.

18:17I am as stupid

18:18as I look, sir.

18:20But if I can help,

18:21I will.

18:22Well, it's very kind

18:23of you both,

18:23but I fear

18:24your services

18:24might be as useful

18:25as a barbershop

18:26on the steps

18:27of the guillotine.

18:28Come on, Blackadder.

18:30Give us a try.

18:32Very well, sir.

18:33As you wish.

18:34Let's start

18:34at the beginning,

18:35shall we?

18:35First, A.

18:36How would you define

18:38A?

18:39Oh, I love this.

18:40I love this.

18:41Quizzes.

18:42Hang on, it's coming.

18:43A.

18:44Ooh, crikey.

18:45Um.

18:46Oh, yes, I got it.

18:47What?

18:48Well, it doesn't

18:49really mean anything,

18:50does it?

18:52Good.

18:53So we're well

18:53on the way, then.

18:56A.

18:57Impersonal pronoun

18:58doesn't really mean anything.

19:01Right, next.

19:02A.

19:02A, B.

19:03Um, A, B.

19:05Well, it's a buzzing

19:06thing, isn't it?

19:07A.

19:08Buzzing thing.

19:10I mean, something

19:12that starts with A, B.

19:14Honey?

19:15Honey starts with A, B.

19:17You're right, you know,

19:18Blackadder, honey

19:19does start with a B.

19:20And a flower, too.

19:21Yes, look,

19:21this really isn't

19:22getting anywhere.

19:23And besides,

19:24I've left out aardvark.

19:26Oh, well,

19:26can't say we didn't

19:27give it a try.

19:28No, Your Highness,

19:28it was a brave stab,

19:30but I fear I must

19:31proceed on my own.

19:32Now, Baldrick,

19:33go to the kitchen

19:33and make me something

19:34quick and simple

19:35to eat, would you?

19:35Two slices of bread

19:36with something in between.

19:37What, like Gerald

19:38Lord Sandwich

19:39had the other day?

19:40Yes, a few rounds

19:41of Gerald's.

19:51How goes it, Blackadder?

19:52Not all that well, sir.

19:54Well, let's have a look.

19:56Medium-sized insectivore

19:58with protruding nasal implement.

20:03Doesn't sound much

20:03like a B to me.

20:05It's an aardvark!

20:06Can't you see that,

20:06Your Highness?

20:07It's a bloody aardvark!

20:10Dear,

20:10still on aardvark, are we?

20:12Yes, I'm afraid we are.

20:13And if I ever meet

20:14an aardvark,

20:15I'm going to step on

20:16its damn protruding

20:17nasal implement

20:18until it couldn't suck up

20:19an insectivore

20:20and its life depended on it.

20:21A bit stuck, have you?

20:23I'm sorry, sir.

20:24It's five hours later

20:25and I've got

20:26every word in the English language

20:27except A in aardvark

20:29still to do.

20:30And I'm not very happy

20:31with my definition of either.

20:34Well, don't panic, Blackadder,

20:35because

20:35I have some rather good news.

20:38Oh.

20:39What?

20:39Well, we didn't take no

20:41for an answer

20:41and have, in fact,

20:42been working all night.

20:44I've done B.

20:45Really?

20:46And how have you got on?

20:47Well, I had a bit of trouble

20:48with belching,

20:50but I think I got it

20:51sorted out in the end.

20:53Oh, no!

20:54There I go again!

20:59You've been working

21:00on that joke for some time,

21:01haven't you?

21:02Well, yes, I have,

21:04as a matter of fact, yes.

21:04Since you started, in fact.

21:05Basically.

21:06So, in fact,

21:06you haven't done any work at all?

21:07Not as such, no.

21:09Right.

21:10Baldrick,

21:11what have you done?

21:12I've done C and D.

21:14Right, let's have it, then.

21:16Right.

21:17Big blue wobbly thing

21:19that mermaids live in.

21:23C.

21:26Yes.

21:28Tiny misunderstanding, still.

21:31My hopes weren't high.

21:33No, and what about D?

21:34I'm quite pleased with dog.

21:36Yes, and your definition of dog is?

21:38Not a cat.

21:42Excellent.

21:46Excellent.

21:47Your Highness,

21:48may I have a word?

21:49Certainly.

21:50As you know, sir,

21:51it has always been my intention

21:52to stay with you

21:53until you had a strapping son

21:54and I one likewise

21:55to take over the burdens

21:57of my duties.

21:57That's right, Blackadder,

21:58and I thank you for it.

21:59But I'm afraid, sir,

22:00that there's been a change of plan.

22:01I'm off to the kitchen

22:02to hack my head off

22:03with a big knife.

22:05Oh, come on, Blackadder.

22:07It's only a book.

22:09Let's just damn the fellow's eyes,

22:11strip the britches from his backside,

22:13and warm his heels to Putney Bridge.

22:15Hurrah!

22:16Sir, these are not the days

22:18of Alfred the Great.

22:19You can't just lop someone's head off

22:20and blame it on the Vikings.

22:22Can't I, my God?

22:23No.

22:25Oh, well, all right,

22:25then we'll just get on with it.

22:26I mean, boil my brains.

22:28It's only a dictionary.

22:29No one's asked us

22:30to eat ten raw pigs for breakfast.

22:33Good Lord, I mean,

22:34we're British, aren't we?

22:36You're not, you're German.

22:39Get me some coffee, boy.

22:41If I fall asleep before Monday,

22:43we're doomed.

22:47Mr Blackadder,

22:49time to wake up.

22:50What time is it?

22:51Monday morning.

22:53Monday morning?

22:54Oh, my God, I've overslept.

22:56Where's the quill?

22:56Where's the parchment?

22:57I don't know.

22:58Maybe Dr Johnson's got some with him.

23:00What?

23:01He's outside.

23:02Ow!

23:03Are you ill, sir?

23:04No, you can't have it.

23:05I know I said Monday,

23:06but I want Baldrick to read it,

23:08which, unfortunately,

23:09will mean teaching him to read.

23:11Which will take about ten years.

23:13But time well spent, I think,

23:14because it's such a very good dictionary.

23:16I don't think so.

23:17Oh, God, we've been burgled!

23:20What?

23:21I think it's an awful dictionary,

23:23full of feeble definitions

23:24and ridiculous verbiage.

23:26I've come to ask you

23:26to chuck that damn thing in the fire.

23:29Are you sure?

23:30I've never been more sure

23:31of anything in my life, sir.

23:32I love you, Dr Johnson,

23:34and I want to have your babies.

23:35Sorry, excuse me, Dr Johnson,

23:41but my Auntie Marjorie's just arrived.

23:44Baldrick,

23:44who gave you permission

23:45to turn into an Alsatian?

23:48Oh, God,

23:49it's a dream, isn't it?

23:51It's a bloody dream.

23:54Dr Johnson doesn't want us

23:55to burn his dictionary at all.

23:58Monday morning.

24:09Monday morning?

24:10Oh, my God, I've overslept.

24:11Where's the quill?

24:12Where's the parchment?

24:13I don't know.

24:14Maybe Dr Johnson's got some with him.

24:16What?

24:16He's outside.

24:18No, hang on.

24:20Hang on.

24:20If we go on like this,

24:22you're going to turn into an Alsatian again.

24:23Oh, my God.

24:27Quick, Baldrick,

24:28we've got to escape.

24:29No, sir,

24:29without the dictionary at once.

24:31Bring it out, sir.

24:32In my passion,

24:33I shall kill everyone

24:34by giving them syphilis.

24:35Bring it out, sir.

24:36And also any opium plants

24:38you may have around there.

24:39Bring it out, sir.

24:40We shall break down the door.

24:42Hi, good morning.

24:43Dr Johnson?

24:44Where is my dictionary?

24:46And what dictionary would this be?

24:48The one that has taken 18 hours

24:49of every day

24:50for the last 10 years.

24:52My mother died,

24:53I hardly noticed.

24:54My father cut off his head

24:55and fried it in garlic

24:56in the hope of attracting my attention.

24:58I scarcely looked up from my work.

25:00My wife brought armies of lovers

25:01to the house

25:02who worked in droves

25:03so that she might bring up

25:04a huge family of bastards.

25:06I cannot.

25:09Am I to presume

25:09that my elaborate bluff

25:11has not worked?

25:12Dictionary.

25:13Right.

25:13Well, the truth is, doctor,

25:14now, don't get cross,

25:16don't overreact.

25:16The truth is,

25:17we burnt it.

25:18Then you die.

25:21Morning, everyone.

25:22You know,

25:23this dictionary

25:23really is a cracking good read.

25:26It's an absolutely splendid job.

25:28My dictionary?

25:30But you've said you burnt it.

25:32I think it's a splendid book

25:33and I look forward

25:34to patronising it enormously.

25:36Oh, well, thank you, sir.

25:37Well, I think I'm man enough

25:38to sacrifice the pleasure of killing

25:40to maintain the general good humour.

25:42There's to be no murder today.

25:44Yes, monsieur.

25:45But repair to Mrs Miggins.

25:46I shall join you there later

25:48for a roister

25:48you will never forget.

25:51So, tell me, sir,

25:53what words particularly

25:55interested you?

25:56Oh, nothing.

25:58Anything, really.

25:58I see you underlined a few.

26:02Bloomers, bottom, burp.

26:07Fart, fiddle, fornicate.

26:09Sir, I hope you are not using

26:10the first English dictionary

26:11to look up rude words.

26:13I wouldn't be too hopeful.

26:15That's what all the other ones

26:16will be used for.

26:18Sir, can I look up turnip?

26:20Turnip isn't a rude word, Baldrick.

26:22It is if you sit on one.

26:24Really, sir?

26:25Do we have more important

26:26business in hand?

26:27I refer, of course,

26:28to the works of the mysterious

26:30Gertrude Perkins.

26:32Mysterious?

26:32No more, sir.

26:33It is time for the truth.

26:35I can at last reveal

26:36the identity of the great

26:37Gertrude Perkins.

26:39Sir, who is she?

26:40She, sir, is me, sir.

26:42Sir, I am Gertrude Perkins.

26:44Good Lord!

26:45And what's more,

26:46I can prove it.

26:47Bring out the manuscript

26:48and I will show you

26:49that my signature

26:50corresponds exactly

26:51with that on the front.

26:53Why, I must have left it here

26:54when I left the dictionary.

26:55This is terribly exciting.

26:58That's my novel.

27:00Your novel?

27:01Yes, Baldrick,

27:01the big papery thing

27:02tied up with string.

27:03What?

27:04Like the thing we burnt?

27:05Exactly like the thing we burnt.

27:07So, you're asking

27:08for the big papery thing

27:10tied up with string

27:11exactly like the thing we burnt?

27:13Exactly.

27:15We burnt it.

27:17So we did.

27:19Thank you, Baldrick.

27:21Seven years of my life

27:22up in smoke.

27:23Your Highness,

27:24would you excuse me a moment?

27:25By all means.

27:30Oh, God, no!

27:34Thank you, sir.

27:35Burned, you say?

27:36That's most inconvenient.

27:38A burned novel

27:39is like a burned dog.

27:41Oh, shut up!

27:42Sir,

27:43I have a novel.

27:48Once upon a time,

27:49there was a lovely little sausage

27:51called...

27:51Sausage?

27:54Sausage!

27:55Blast your eyes!

27:58Oh.

27:59Well, I didn't think

28:00it was that bad.

28:02I think you'll find

28:03he left sausage

28:03out of his diction.

28:05Oh.

28:08And aardvark.

28:11Oh, come on, Blackadder.

28:12It's not all that bad.

28:13Nothing a nice,

28:14roaring fire can't solve.

28:16Baldrick, do the honours,

28:17will you?

28:17Certainly, Your Majesty.

28:18Oh!

28:19Oh!

28:20Oh!

28:21Oh!

28:22Oh!

28:23Oh!

28:24Oh!

28:25Oh!

28:26Oh!

28:27Oh!

28:28Oh!

28:29Oh!

28:30Oh!

28:31Oh!

28:32Oh!

28:33Oh!

28:34Oh!

28:35Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam,

29:05Black Adam

The Black Adder - 3x02 - Ink and Incapability - SD 480

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The Black Adder - Complete Season 3 - SD 480

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