- hace 7 semanas
After a visit from Lord Flashheart, Blackadder, Baldrick and George intend on joining the "Twenty Minuters" of the Royal Flying Corps in order to go to Paris. After Blackadder and Baldrick crash their plane behind enemy lines, they are captured by the Germans.
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00:00Fire! Fire! Strike!
00:16Fire! Strike!
00:25Fire! Strike!
00:30Oh, God, why are they bothered?
00:57Oh, it's to kill Jerry, isn't it, sir?
00:58Yes, but Jerry is safe underground in concrete bunkers.
01:02We've shot off over a million cannon shells, and what's the result?
01:06One Dachshund with a slight limp.
01:09Shut up!
01:13Right, I'm off to bed where I intend to sleep until my name changes to Rip Van Adder.
01:17I'm off to bed where I can see you all of mine.
01:21Oh, the bloody Germans, they can't take a joke, can they?
01:38Let's only take a few potshots at them.
01:40They have to have an air raid to get their own back.
01:42Where are our air force?
01:44The men that defend us against this sort of thing.
01:46Right, that's it.
01:53Hello?
01:54Yes, yes, I'd like to leave a message for the head of the Flying Corps, please.
01:58To Air Chief Marshal Sir Hugh Massingbird, Massingbird, VC, DFC and Barr.
02:04Message reads, where are you, you bastard?
02:07Here I am, sir.
02:08For God's sake, Baldrick, take cover.
02:10Why's that, sir?
02:11Because there's an air raid going on, and I don't want to have to write to your mother at London soon.
02:16I'd tell her that her only human child is dead.
02:20All right, sir, it's just that I didn't know there was an air raid on.
02:23Couldn't hear anything over the noise of the terrific display by our wonderful boys of the Royal Flying Corps, sir.
02:30What?
02:30I say, those chaps can't have thunder in their airball steeds, can't they, just?
02:36Hello, what's going on here?
02:37Game of hide and seek.
02:38Excellent.
02:39Right, sir, I'll go and count to 100.
02:41No, better make it five, actually.
02:42George.
02:43Oh, it's sardines.
02:44Oh, excellent, that's my favourite one, then.
02:46George.
02:47Yes, sir?
02:48Shut up and never say anything again as long as you live.
02:50Right, sir.
02:52Crikey, but what a show it was, sir.
02:54Lord Flasharch's Flying Aces.
02:56How he cheered when they spun.
02:58How he shouted when they dived.
03:00How he applauded when one chap got sliced in half by his own propeller.
03:04Oh, it's all part of the joke for those magnificent men and their flying machines.
03:10For magnificent men, read biggest show-offs since Lady Godiva entered the royal enclosure at Ascot,
03:15claiming she had literally nothing to wear.
03:18I don't care how many times they go up a diddly-up-up, they're still gits.
03:22Oh, come on, sir.
03:24I'd love to be a flyer up there where the air is clear.
03:28The chances of the air being clear anywhere near you, Bullrich, are zero.
03:33Oh, sir, it'll be great swooping and diving.
03:37Bollerick.
03:42Bollerick.
03:44Bollerick.
03:46What are you doing?
03:48I'm a sop-woof camel, sir.
03:50Oh, it is a sop-woof camel.
03:52Ah, right, I always get confused between the sound of a sop-woof camel
03:55and the sound of a malodorous runt wasting everybody's time.
03:58Now, if you can do without me in the nursery for a while,
04:00I'm going to get some fresher.
04:02Ha!
04:07Eat knuckle, Fritz!
04:09How disgusting!
04:11A bosh on the sole of my boot.
04:13I just have to find a patch of grass to wipe it on.
04:15Probably get shunned in the officer's mess.
04:17Sorry about the pong, you fellows.
04:19Trod in a bosh and can't get rid of the whiff.
04:21Do you think we could dispense with the hilarious doggy-do metaphor for a moment?
04:26I'm not a bosh, this is a British trench.
04:28Is it?
04:29Oh, that's a piece of luck.
04:30Thought I'd landed sausage side.
04:32Ha!
04:34Might as well use your phone.
04:35If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves.
04:38Yeah, I wouldn't want them on my conscience.
04:40They ought to be on my face.
04:46Hi, Flash out here.
04:47Yeah.
04:48Cancel the state funeral.
04:49Tell the king to stop blubbing.
04:50Flash is not dead.
04:52I simply ran out of juice.
04:55Yeah, and before all the girls start saying,
04:56Oh, what's the point living anymore?
04:58I'm talking about petrol.
04:59Woof!
05:00Woof!
05:01Yeah, I dumped the kite on the parole, so send a car.
05:03General Melchett's driver should do.
05:05She hangs around with a big knob, so she'd be used to a fellow like me.
05:07Woof!
05:08Woof!
05:09Look, do you think you can make your obscene phone calls somewhere else?
05:13No, not in half an hour, you rubber desk Johnny!
05:16Send the bitch with the wheels right now or I'll fly back to England and give your wife something to hang her towels on.
05:25Okay, dig out your best booze and let's talk about me till the car comes.
05:29You must be pretty impressed having Squadron Commander the Lord Flash Heart drop in on your squalid bit of line.
05:35Actually, no.
05:36I was more impressed by the contents of my handkerchief the last time I blew my nose.
05:40Yeah, like how.
05:43You've probably got little pickers of me on the walls of your dugout, haven't you?
05:47I bet you go all girly and giggly every time you...
05:49No, no, no, I'm afraid not.
05:52Unfortunately, most of the infantry think you're a prat.
05:55Ask them who they'd prefer to meet.
05:57Squadron Commander Flash Heart and the man who cleans out the public toilets in Aberdeen.
06:02You may go for Wee Jock Poo Pong McClop every time.
06:12So when that fellow looped the loop, I honestly thought that...
06:16My God!
06:18Yes, I suppose I am.
06:20Lord Flash Heart, this is the greatest honour of my life.
06:24I hope I snuff it right now to preserve this moment forever.
06:27It could be arranged.
06:29Lord Flash Heart, I want to learn to write so I can send a letter home about this golden moment.
06:36So all the fellas hate me, eh?
06:38Not a bit of it. I'm your bloody hero, eh, old scat?
06:41Jesus!
06:43Now, Lord, I've got every cigarette card they ever printed of you.
06:47My whole family took up smoking just so that we could get the whole set.
06:52My grandmother smoked herself to death so we could afford the album.
06:57Of course she did, of course she did, the poor love-crazed old Octogenarian.
07:02Well, all right, you fellas, let's sit us down and yawn about how amazingly attractive I am.
07:06Yes, would you excuse me for a moment? I've got some urgent business. There's a bucket outside I've got to be sickened to.
07:12Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
07:15All right, you chaps, let's get comfy.
07:18You look like a decent British bloke. I'll park the old booties on you if that's okay.
07:23It would be an honour, my lord.
07:25Of course it would.
07:26Have you any idea what it's like to have the wind rushing through your hair?
07:32No, sir.
07:36He has.
07:38Lucky devil.
07:40So I flew straight through a bedroom window, popped a box of chops on the dressing table,
07:44machined my telephone number into the wall, and then shut off and shagged a sister.
07:47Driver Parkhurst reporting for duty, my lord.
07:52Well, well, well, if it isn't little Bobby Parkhurst, saucier than a direct hit on a Heinz factory.
07:58I've come to pick you up.
07:59Well, that's how I like my girls. Direct and to my point.
08:02Woof!
08:03Woof!
08:04Woof!
08:05Woof!
08:06Woof!
08:07Woof!
08:08Woof!
08:09Woof!
08:11Tally-ho then, back to the bar.
08:13You should join the Flying Corps, George.
08:15That's the way to fight a war.
08:16Tasty tuck, soft beds and a uniform so smart it's got a PhD from Cambridge.
08:21You could even bring the breath monster here.
08:24Anyone can be a navigator if he can tell his arse from his elbow.
08:27Well, that's ball rig out, I say.
08:29We're always looking for talented types to join the 20 Miniters.
08:32And there goes George.
08:34Tally-ho then, Bobby.
08:36Hush, here comes a whiz-bang.
08:37And I think you know what I'm talking about.
08:39Woof!
08:40Woof!
08:42God, it's like crufts in here.
08:44Say, what a splendid notion.
08:46The 20 Miniters.
08:48Soft tucker, tasty beds, fluffy uniforms.
08:51Begging your permission, sir, but why do they call them the 20 Miniters?
08:54Ah, now, yes.
08:55Now, this one is in my Brook Bond book of the air.
08:58Now, you have to collect all the cards and then stick them into this wonderful presentation booklet.
09:03Ah, here we are, 20 Miniters.
09:06Oh, damn, I haven't got the card yet.
09:08Ah, but the caption says,
09:1020 minutes is the average amount of time new pilots spend in the air.
09:1420 minutes.
09:15I had a 20-hour watch yesterday with four hours overtime in two feet of water.
09:20Well, then for goodness sake, sir, why do we join?
09:22Yeah, be better than just sitting around here all day on our elbows.
09:27No, thank you.
09:29No, thank you.
09:30I have no desire to hang around with a bunch of upper-class delinquents,
09:33do 20 minutes work and then spend the rest of the day loafing about in Paris,
09:37drinking gallons of champagne and having dozens of moist pink,
09:42highly experienced young French peasant girls galloping up and down my...
09:47Hang on.
09:48Cut!
09:54Ah, Captain Blackadder.
09:55Good morning, Captain, darling.
09:56What do you want?
09:58You're looking so well.
10:00I'm a busy man, Blackadder, let's hear it, whatever it is.
10:03Well, you know, darling,
10:04every man has a dream.
10:08And when I was a small boy,
10:10I used to watch the marsh warblers swooping in my mother's undercroft.
10:14And I remember thinking,
10:15will men ever dare do the same?
10:18And you know...
10:19Oh, you want to join the Royal Flying Corps?
10:21Oh, that's a thought.
10:23Could I?
10:24No, you couldn't.
10:25Goodbye.
10:27Oh, come on, darling, just give me an application form.
10:29It's out of the question.
10:30This is simply a ruse to waste five months of training,
10:33after which you'll claim you can't fly after all
10:35because it makes your ears go pop.
10:37Come on, I wasn't born yesterday, Blackadder.
10:39More's the pity we could have started your personality from scratch.
10:43So, the training period is five months, is it?
10:46It's no concern of yours if it's five years
10:48and comes with a free holiday in Tunisia, contraceptive supplied.
10:52Besides, they wouldn't admit you.
10:53It's not easy getting transfers, you know.
10:55No, you've tried it yourself, have you?
10:57No, I haven't.
10:58Trust you to try and skive off to some cushier option.
11:01There's nothing cushier about life in the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corp.
11:07So then, the bishop said,
11:08I'm awfully sorry I didn't realise you meant organist.
11:11Hey!
11:14Thank you, George.
11:16At ease, everybody. Now, where's my map?
11:17Come on, sir.
11:22God, it's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?
11:25The other side, sir.
11:29Hello, George.
11:30What are you doing here?
11:31Me, sir?
11:32I just popped in to join the Royal Flying Corps.
11:34Hello, Blackadder.
11:35What are you doing here?
11:36Me, sir?
11:37I just popped in to join the Royal Flying Corps.
11:39And, of course, I said...
11:40Bravo!
11:41I hope, darling.
11:42Because, you know, I've always had my doubts about you trenchy-type fellows.
11:45I've always suspected there might be a bit too much of the battle-dodging, nappy-wearing
11:50I'd rather have a cup of tea than charred stark naked at Jerry about you.
11:54If you're willing to join the 20 Miniters, then you're all right by me
11:57and welcome to marry my sister any day.
12:00Are you sure about this, sir?
12:01Certainly. You should hear the noise she makes when she eats a boiled egg.
12:05Glad to get her out of the house.
12:06So, report back here 0900 hours for your basic training.
12:10Crikey!
12:11I'm looking forward to today.
12:12Up, diddly up, down, diddly down.
12:14Whoops, poop, twiddly-dee.
12:17Decent scrap with a fiendish Red Baron,
12:19bit of a jolly old crash-landing behind enemy lines.
12:21Capture, torture, escape, and then back home in time for tea and medals.
12:26George, who's using the family brain cell at the moment?
12:31This is just the beginning of the training.
12:33The beginning of five long months of very clever, very dull men looking at machinery.
12:39Hey, girls, look at my machinery!
12:42Enter the man who has no underwear.
12:44Ask me why.
12:45Why do you have no underwear, Lord Flash?
12:47Because the pants haven't been built yet that'll take the job on.
12:52And that's the type of guy who's doing the training around here.
12:55Sit down.
12:57Well, well, well, well, well, if it isn't old Captain Slack Bladder.
13:01Bladder.
13:03Bladder.
13:04Couldn't resist it, eh, slack bladder.
13:05Told you you thought I was great.
13:07All right, men, let's do it!
13:11The first thing to remember is, always treat your kite like you treat your woman.
13:18How do you mean, sir?
13:19Do you mean take her home at the weekend to meet your mother?
13:21No, I mean, get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back.
13:30I'm beginning to see why the suffragette movement want the vote.
13:33Hey, hey, any bird who wants to chain herself to my railings and suffer a jet movement gets my vote.
13:41Right, well, I'll see you in ten minutes for take-off.
13:44Hang on, hang on!
13:46What about the months of training?
13:48Hey, wet pants!
13:49This isn't the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corps, you're in the 20 Minuters now!
13:54Sir?
13:55Yes, crat at the back.
13:57I think we'd all be intrigued to know why you called the 20 Minuters.
14:01Oh, Mr Thicker, imagine not knowing that!
14:05Well, it's simple!
14:07The average life expectancy for a new pilot is 20 Minutes!
14:10Ah!
14:12Life expectancy...
14:14of 20 Minutes.
14:15That's right!
14:16Goggles on, chocks away, last one backs a homo!
14:19Hooray!
14:23So, we take off in ten minutes,
14:26we're in the air for 20 minutes,
14:28which means we should be dead by 25 to 10.
14:32Hairy blighter, sir!
14:33This is a bit of a turn-up with a plus-four!
14:36You shouldn't worry about it too much if I get up.
14:39Flying's all about navigation.
14:43As long as you've got a good navigator,
14:45I'm sure you'll be fine.
14:46Actually, they're right, this is a double!
14:47Whoops!
14:48Whoops!
14:49A little wobble there!
14:51I'll get the hang of it, don't worry.
14:52All right, Baldick, how many rounds have we got?
14:53Uh, 500, sir.
14:54Cheese and tomato for you, rat!
14:55That's all!
14:56Tally belly hell!
14:57What's this, sir?
14:58This is a little wobble there!
14:59I'll get the hang of it, don't worry.
15:00All right, Baldick, how many rounds have we got?
15:01Uh, 500, sir.
15:02Cheese and tomato for you, rat!
15:03That's all!
15:04Tally belly hell!
15:05What's this, sir?
15:06This is...
15:07No, come on!
15:08Baldick!
15:09Baldick!
15:10Will you stop arsing about and get back in the pocket!
15:12Hey, sir!
15:13Look, I can see a pretty red plane from up here!
15:15Oh!
15:16Oh!
15:17Oh!
15:18Oh!
15:19Oh!
15:20Oh!
15:21Oh!
15:22Oh!
15:23Oh!
15:24Oh!
15:25Oh!
15:26Oh!
15:27Oh!
15:28Oh!
15:29Oh!
15:30Oh!
15:31Oh!
15:32Oh!
15:33Oh!
15:34Oh!
15:35Oh!
15:36Oh!
15:37Oh!
15:38Oh!
15:39Oh!
15:40Oh!
15:41Oh!
15:42Oh!
15:43Oh!
15:44Oh!
15:45Oh, let's hope we fall on something soft!
15:46Fine!
15:47I'll try a name between General Melchard's ears!
15:50I don't believe it!
15:53A German prison cell!
15:55For two and a half years, the Western Front has been as likely to move as a Frenchman who
16:00lives next door to a brothel.
16:01Then last night, the Germans advance a mile and we land on the wrong side!
16:05Oh, dear, Captain B, my tummy's gone all squirty!
16:09That's because you're scared, Baldrick, and you're not the only one.
16:12I couldn't be more petrified if a wild rhinoceros had just come home from a hard day at the swamp
16:17and found me wearing his pyjamas, smoking his cigars, and in bed with his wife.
16:23I've heard what these Germans will do, sir.
16:25They'll have their wicked way with anything a woman born.
16:29Well, in that case, Baldrick, you're quite safe.
16:31However, the Teutonic reputation for brutality is well founded.
16:36Their operas last three or four days.
16:39And they have no word for fluffy.
16:42I want my mum.
16:44Yes, it'd be good to see her.
16:45I should imagine a maternally outraged gorilla could be a useful ally.
16:49Perhaps a kind of scrap.
16:53Prepare to die like a man, Baldrick.
16:55Or as close as you can come to a man without actually shaving the palms of your hands.
17:03Good evening.
17:04I'm Oberloentmann von Gerhard.
17:06I have a message from the Baron von Richthofen.
17:09The greatest living German.
17:12Which, considering his competition consists entirely of very fat men in leather shorts,
17:16burping to the tune of Schubert coming round the mountains,
17:19is no great achievement.
17:21Great!
17:22And what is your message?
17:26It is, prepare for a fate worse than death, English flying fellow.
17:32Well, so it's a traditional warm German welcome.
17:36Also, he is saying, do not try to escape or you will suffer even worse.
17:41A fate worse than a fate worse than death.
17:42That's pretty bad.
17:46I suggest it's a possible lock.
17:47Yes, well, you see, it's all very well for you, isn't it, sitting here behind your, behind your, behind your comfy desk.
17:52Don't you take that tone with me, Lieutenant. I'll have you on a charge for insubordination.
17:55Well, I'd rather be on a charge for insubordination than on a charge of deserting a friend.
17:58How dare you talk to me like that!
18:00How dare!
18:01Now then, now then, now, now, then, now, then, now, then, now, then, now, then, now, then, now, now, then, what's going on here?
18:08That damn fool, Blackadder, has crashed his plane behind enemy lines, sir.
18:11This young idiot wants to go and try and rescue him.
18:13It's a total waste of men and equipment.
18:15He's not a damn fool, sir. He's a body hero.
18:18All right, all right, all right, I'll deal with this, darling.
18:20Delicate touch needed, I fancy.
18:22Now, George, do you remember when I came down to visit you when you were a nipper for your sixth birthday?
18:27You used to have a lovely little rabbit.
18:29Beautiful little thing, do you remember?
18:31Flossie.
18:32That's right, Flossie.
18:33Do you remember what happened to Flossie?
18:35You shot him.
18:37That's right.
18:38It was the kindest thing to do after being run over by that car.
18:42By your car, sir.
18:44Yes, by my car.
18:45But that, too, was an act of mercy when you would remember that that dog had been set on him.
18:49Your dog, sir.
18:51Yes, yes, my dog.
18:53But what I'm trying to say, George, is that the state young Flossie was in
18:56after we'd scraped him off my front tire.
18:59It's very much the state that young Blackadder will be in now.
19:02If not very nearly dead, then very actually dead.
19:06Permission for lip to wobble, sir?
19:09Permission granted.
19:13Stout fellow.
19:14But surely so, you must allow me to at least try and save him.
19:16No, George, it would be as pointless as trying to teach a woman the value of a good forward defensive stroke.
19:22Besides, it would take a superman to get him out of there,
19:25not the kind of weed who blubs just because somebody gives him a slice of rabbit pie instead of birthday cake.
19:32I suppose you're right, sir.
19:33Of course I am.
19:34Now, let's talk about something more jolly, shall we?
19:37Look, this is the amount of land we've recaptured since yesterday.
19:40Oh, excellent.
19:41Um, what is the actual scale of this map, darling?
19:44Um, one to one, sir.
19:47Come again?
19:48Uh, the map is actually life-size, sir.
19:51It's superbly detailed.
19:52Look, there's a little worm.
19:54Oh, yes.
19:55So the actual amount of land retaken is?
19:57Excuse me, sir.
20:0117 square feet, sir.
20:02Ah!
20:03Excellent.
20:04So you see, young Blackadder didn't die horribly in vain after all.
20:07If he did die, sir.
20:09That's the spirit, George.
20:10If nothing else works, then a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.
20:21Sir, I am the Red Baron von Richthofen.
20:25And you are the two English flying aces responsible for the spinning of the precious German blood of many of my finest and my blondest friends.
20:35I have waited many months to do this.
20:46You may have been right, Borders.
20:48Looks like we're going to get Roger to death after all.
20:50Do you want me to go first, sir?
20:55Your English and your sense of humour.
20:58During your brief stay, I look forward to learning more of your wit, your punning, and your amusing jokes about the breaking of the wind.
21:07Well, Bordrick's the expert there.
21:09I certainly am, sir.
21:10How lucky you English are to find the toilet so amusing.
21:16For us, it is a mundane and functional item.
21:19For you, it's the basis of an entire culture.
21:23I must now tell you of the full horror of what evades you.
21:30Ah, you see, Borders, dress it up in any amount of pompous verbal diarrhoea, and the message is,
21:35square heads down for the big Bosch gangbang.
21:38As an officer and a gentleman, you will be looking forward to a quick and noble death.
21:44Well, obviously.
21:45But instead, an even worse fate evades you.
21:49Tomorrow, you will be taken back to Germany.
21:52Here it comes.
21:53To a convent school outside Heidelberg, where you will spend the rest of the war teaching the young girls home economics.
22:05For you, as a man of honour, the humiliation will be unbearable.
22:12I think you'll find we're tougher than you imagine.
22:15I can tell how much you are suffering by your long faeces.
22:19We're not suffering too much to say thank you.
22:24Say thank you, Bordrick.
22:25Thank you, Bordrick.
22:27How amusing!
22:29But now, forgive me.
22:31I must take to the skies once again.
22:34Very funny.
22:34The noble Lord Flashheart still eludes me.
22:37I think you'll find he's overrated.
22:40Bad breath and impotent, they say.
22:43This will end you, Andrew!
22:46But enough of this.
22:48As you say in England,
22:50I must fly.
22:54Perhaps I will master this humour after all, yeah?
22:56I wouldn't be too often, sir.
22:59But there's a little fella.
23:01If you get lonely in the night, I'm in the old chateau.
23:03There's no pressure.
23:08Bratwold!
23:10Is it really true, sir?
23:12Is the war really over for us?
23:14Yep.
23:15Out of the war and teaching nuns how to boil eggs.
23:18For us, the great war is finito.
23:21A war that would be a damn sight simpler
23:23if we just stayed in England
23:24and shot 50,000 of our men a week.
23:27No more mud, death, rats, bombs, shrapnel,
23:30whiz-bangs, barbed wire
23:32and those bloody awful songs
23:33that have the word whoops in the title.
23:37Damn, he's left the door open.
23:38Oh, good we can escape, sir.
23:40Are you mad, Woodbridge?
23:42Now, find someone to look it for us.
23:44Shush!
23:45Kee me!
23:45Mum's the word, not half or what!
23:49Sir, why did you just slam the door on Lieutenant George?
23:52I can't believe it.
23:53Go away!
23:55It's me, it's me!
23:57Well, what the hell are you doing here?
23:58Oh, never mind the howls and the whys
24:00and the...
24:00Do you mind if I don't?
24:02I'll take a superman to get in here.
24:04Well, I swear you should say that
24:05because, as it happens,
24:06I did have some help from a rather spiffing bloke.
24:09He's taken a break from some crucial top-level shagging.
24:16It's me!
24:17Hooray!
24:17Dove's potatoes, George!
24:22You said noble brother flyers were in the lurch.
24:24If I'd known you meant old slack bladder
24:26and the mound of the hound of the Baskervilles,
24:28I'd probably let them stew in their own juice.
24:31And let me tell you,
24:32if I ever tried that,
24:33I'd probably drown.
24:35Hooray!
24:36Hooray!
24:37Hooray!
24:38Sil, since I'm here,
24:39I may as well do it!
24:42As the Bishop said to the netball team.
24:44Come on, Jones!
24:44I'm sorry, chaps,
24:54but I've splintered my pancreas.
24:56I seem to have this terrible cough.
24:59Cards! Cards!
25:00Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
25:04Now, I may be packing the kind of tackle
25:06that you'd normally expect to find
25:08swinging about between the hind legs
25:09of a Grand National winner.
25:12But I'm not totally stupid.
25:14I've got the kind of feeling
25:16you'd rather we hadn't come.
25:18No, no, no.
25:18I'm very grateful.
25:19It says that I'd slow you up.
25:21I think I'm beginning to understand.
25:23Are you?
25:24Huh.
25:24Just because I can give multiple orgasms
25:27to the furniture just by sitting
25:29doesn't mean that I'm not sick
25:31of this damn wall.
25:33The blood, the noise,
25:35the endless poetry.
25:38Tell me really what you think, Fashad.
25:41Of course it's not what I think.
25:42Now, get out that door
25:43before I redecorate that wall
25:44in an interesting new colour
25:45called Hint of Brain.
25:47Yes, sir.
25:47Well, that's clear.
25:48Let's get back to that lovely wall, then.
25:50What?
25:50What?
25:51Oh, Mark.
25:54That was fast, Blackadder.
25:56Oh, damn.
25:57Foiled again.
25:58What bad luck.
25:59Ah, and the Lord Flashheart.
26:01This is indeed an honour.
26:04Finally, the two greatest
26:05gentlemen flyers in the world meet.
26:08Two men of honour
26:09who are justed together
26:10in the cloud-strewn glory of the skies
26:13are face to face at last.
26:15How often I have rehearsed
26:16this moment of destiny
26:18in my dreams.
26:19The vanavie to encapsulate
26:21the unspoken nobility
26:22of our comradeship.
26:26Pause!
26:27Get on!
26:34Oh!
26:34Oh!
26:36Hello, darling.
26:38Good morning.
26:39Captain Blackadder,
26:40I thought you were...
26:41Playing tennis?
26:43Dead?
26:44Well, yes, unfortunately.
26:45Well, I had a lucky escape.
26:47No thanks to you.
26:48This is a friend of mine.
26:50Ah!
26:52Hi, Pete!
26:53Flash out.
26:54This is Captain Darling.
26:55Captain Darling?
26:56Funny name for a guy, isn't it?
26:59Last person I called Darling
27:00was pregnant 20 seconds later.
27:03Hey, you couldn't be bothered
27:04to help old Slacky here.
27:06Oh, well, it wasn't quite that, sir.
27:08It's just that we weighed up
27:08the pros and cons
27:09and decided it wasn't
27:10a reasonable use
27:11of our time and resources.
27:12Well, this isn't a reasonable
27:13use of my time and resources,
27:15but I'm going to do it anyway.
27:16What?
27:17This!
27:18Oh!
27:24All right, Slacky.
27:25All right, Slacky.
27:26I've got to fly.
27:27Two million chicks,
27:28only one flash, Arch.
27:31Remember,
27:31if you want something,
27:32take it.
27:33Bobby!
27:33My Lord.
27:36I want something.
27:37Take it.
27:40Get.
27:42Ah, Black Adder.
27:43So you escaped.
27:44Yes, sir.
27:45Bravo.
27:45Don't slouch, darling.
27:48I was wondering whether,
27:49having been tortured
27:49by the most vicious sadists
27:51of the German army,
27:51I might be allowed
27:52a week's leave
27:53to recuperate, sir.
27:54Excellent idea.
27:55Your commanding officer
27:56would have to be
27:56stark raving mad
27:58to refuse you.
27:59Well,
27:59you are my commanding officer.
28:01Well?
28:02Can I have a week's leave
28:03to recuperate, sir?
28:04Certainly not.
28:05Thank you, sir.
28:06Eh!
28:06Ah!
28:07Ah!
28:32You are my commanding officer.
28:34You are my commanding officer.
28:35You are my commanding officer.
28:36You are my commanding officer.
28:37You are my commanding officer.
28:38You are my commanding officer.
28:39You are my commanding officer.
28:40You are my commanding officer.
28:41You are my commanding officer.
28:42You are my commanding officer.
28:43You are my commanding officer.
28:44You are my commanding officer.
28:45You are my commanding officer.
28:46You are my commanding officer.
28:47You are my commanding officer.
28:48You are my commanding officer.
28:49You are my commanding officer.
28:50You are my commanding officer.
28:51You are my commanding officer.
28:52You are my commanding officer.
28:53You are my commanding officer.
28:54You are my commanding officer.
28:55You are my commanding officer.
28:56You are my commanding officer.
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