- 23 hours ago
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00:02On this street, the bargaining begins at sunrise.
00:07An old woman offers a paperboy a generous tip if he'll throw the paper onto her porch.
00:14A wife tells her husband she'll make his favorite dinner if he'll bring home roses.
00:22A man tells his neighbor he'll take in his garbage cans the day she finally mows her lawn.
00:29Yes, on Wisteria Lane, everyone knows how to bargain.
00:35Absolutely everyone.
00:37I don't want oatmeal. Can I have pancakes?
00:40Catherine's not a short order cook, buddy. If she made oatmeal for breakfast, we're having oatmeal.
00:45Tell you what, MJ, if you finish just half of it, I will make candied apples for your sleepover.
00:50I love candied apples.
00:51She's letting you off easy. You should thank her.
00:54Thank you, Catherine.
00:55You are so welcome, you sweet thing.
00:59Dad, are you going to marry Catherine?
01:04Um, that's, um, I don't know.
01:10Why not?
01:11Well, because we haven't talked about marriage.
01:16Why not?
01:18MJ, you're being rude.
01:20Oh, I'm not offended.
01:24Don't you want to marry Catherine?
01:27Well, I love her. She's absolutely fantastic.
01:32So why don't you marry her?
01:34Can you help me out here?
01:36Are you kidding?
01:39Buddy, um, when it comes to marriage, the truth is...
01:43Wow, would you look at the time. I'm late for work.
01:47We're gonna have to talk about this later.
01:49Coward. You got that right.
01:55Dad, I do.
01:56You were great.
01:57But you didn't answer me.
01:59Doesn't matter.
02:01Issues on the table.
02:02Mm-hmm.
02:03Yes.
02:04On this street, the bargaining begins at sunrise.
02:07And it doesn't end...
02:09Here's the ice cream I promised you.
02:11...until someone gets exactly what they want.
02:17Walter Bergen was a divorce lawyer.
02:19And the women who hired him always had something to say about the men they were divorcing.
02:25He's always talking to his grandmother, who died six years ago.
02:30He spends all his money on hookers, who may or may not be women.
02:34He says he needs more money for the children.
02:37And by children, I mean racehorses.
02:41Yes, Walter Bergen thought he had heard it all.
02:45Until the day when one of his clients actually said...
02:49My husband is a decent man, and I want to do right by him.
02:52Hmm.
02:53Women who seek my services rarely take that attitude.
02:56Well, I like to think of myself as a good person.
02:59I'm sure you are.
03:00And I wouldn't worry about your husband.
03:02The income he'll derive from his half of the catering business alone should...
03:06Wait!
03:06I'm not planning on giving him half.
03:08It's my business.
03:10Which you started after you were married.
03:12That entitles him to half.
03:15I may have overstated things when I described my husband as a decent man.
03:19He actually has a wide variety of psychological problems.
03:22Mrs. Hodge, it's state law.
03:23What do you want me to say?
03:24I want you to say that for $300 an hour, you have some lawyer tricks up your sleeve to help
03:29me protect my business.
03:31Surely you're not asking me to do something criminal.
03:37Mrs. Hodge, didn't you say you like to think of yourself as a good person?
03:42Well, clearly I like to think of myself as a rich person even more.
03:51Oh, full house.
03:52Free takes the high, Gabby gets the low.
03:54Split the pot.
03:55Oh, I hate splitting the pot.
03:57Well, that's the rule.
03:58There's nothing you can do about it, so stop itching.
04:00Well, you can't talk to me like that.
04:02I am the wife of Fairview's Latino Businessman of the Year.
04:05Yay!
04:06So we finally won?
04:07Yeah.
04:08There's gonna be a huge dinner, and we're taking a picture with the mayor and his wife.
04:12Oh, not necessarily.
04:13I hear they're getting divorced, and it's gonna get ugly.
04:16Really?
04:17How do you know?
04:17The wife...
04:23Who's that?
04:25My ex-husband.
04:26Oh, right.
04:27Carl's a divorce lawyer.
04:28Yeah, and a total shark.
04:30The worst thing about our divorce was that I couldn't hire him to represent me.
04:33But I thought you just split everything down the middle.
04:35Oh, not with Carl.
04:36By the time he's done finding loopholes and hiding assets, there's nothing left to split.
04:42You don't say.
04:43Hey, ladies.
04:44Uh, Lynette.
04:45It's getting kinda late.
04:48Are you kicking us out, Tom?
04:50Uh, no.
04:51No, just reminding Lynette that it's ten minutes till midnight, which means ten minutes till tomorrow.
04:56I got it.
04:57I'll be right up.
05:01What was that about?
05:04Tom and I are reading this book that suggests couples make a pact to have sex every night for a
05:08month.
05:09Let me guess.
05:09Written by a guy?
05:10Was his name Carlos Solis?
05:13We've been having some problems, so the theory is it creates intimacy and brings you closer.
05:18Is it working?
05:19I gotta say it is.
05:21You become more attuned to each other's needs and more sensitive to-
05:25Geez!
05:25Two seconds!
05:28We should go.
05:29No!
05:29We're in our third meet.
05:30We got this down to a science.
05:32Just feel me out a few hands.
05:51One of you to hurry up! The bus will be here any minute!
05:54Be right down!
05:59There's an extra piece of cinnamon toast on the table.
06:01Not hungry, bye!
06:16Susan!
06:17It's Dave!
06:19Hey, remember I was telling you about my buddy that owns that boat on Bass Lake?
06:23Yeah, well he's not using it this weekend.
06:25So I thought maybe I'd take you and MJ fishing.
06:28Yeah, I know it's short notice.
06:30But I really wanted to do something to thank you.
06:33You've been so good to me since Edie died.
06:35Plus, I know MJ would love it.
06:39Great!
06:40I'm really looking forward to it.
06:42Bye.
06:57Hello?
06:59Oh, hi Principal Hardy, what's up?
07:03She's wearing what?
07:05Now march in there and wipe that stuff off!
07:07You don't have to yell yet!
07:09I do!
07:09Do you have any idea how humiliating it was for me to get that call today?
07:13Now every parent in town is going to think that I let my six-year-old wear makeup to school!
07:18Then I want my makeup back.
07:20Is it in here?
07:24Why do you have this?
07:28Juanita!
07:29I was trying to look like you.
07:32Why?
07:34Some girls at school saw you picking me up yesterday and told me I must be adopted.
07:39They said I wasn't pretty enough to be your daughter.
07:48How's it feeling?
07:49It's really...
07:51It's rubbing.
07:51Please hurry.
08:01Hi there.
08:03Jackson, hey.
08:05You're back.
08:07I needed to talk to you.
08:09Why didn't you call?
08:12I wanted to surprise you.
08:13Well, you did.
08:15Uh-huh.
08:16Oh, uh, right.
08:17Jackson, you remember Mrs. McCluskey, don't you?
08:19Sure.
08:20How are you, Mrs. McCluskey?
08:21Oh, I'm in agonizing pain.
08:23Thanks for asking.
08:24I'm taking her to the doctor so he can perform a little procedure.
08:27He's got a lance of boil on my backside.
08:30It may rupture any second.
08:32Okay.
08:33I just had my car detailed, so I should probably go.
08:37No problem.
08:39When can I see you?
08:42Um...
08:43How about dinner tomorrow night?
08:45Sounds great.
08:48If you two want to keep staring at each other, I can just go lay down on the lawn and
08:52die.
08:53I don't mind.
08:55I'll see you, Mom.
09:03Carl.
09:04Hey, Mike.
09:05Heard MJ's having a sleepover.
09:06I thought I'd hit you up for an invitation.
09:09Aren't you all a little old for sleepovers?
09:11Cards on the table.
09:13I need your help.
09:14Evan's one of the only boys in class who wasn't invited, and he's really upset.
09:18Okay.
09:19Cards on the table.
09:20MJ says Evan's a bully.
09:21And he doesn't want him in a sleepover.
09:23Well, what if I promise Evan will be on his best behavior?
09:26I'm sorry. It's out of my hands.
09:27MJ finalized his guest list.
09:30Well, I think if you check that list again, you'll notice Evan's name's on there.
09:36I'm MJ's dad.
09:37Not his bouncer.
09:41But...
09:42Thanks.
09:44Hey, honey, how's your day going?
09:46Very exciting.
09:47Just got back from the grocery store.
09:48It is double coupon day.
09:49Sort of like the Oscars and the Super Bowl.
09:52All rolled into one.
09:53Did you remember to get my special deodorant?
09:57I sure did.
09:58My lady's armpits will be aluminum free.
10:00How is your day?
10:02I'm totally slammed, which is why I'm calling.
10:04It looks like I'm going to be here late tonight.
10:06And by late, I mean past midnight.
10:08What about our pack?
10:10We'll double up tomorrow.
10:12Look at that.
10:12I have been looking forward to this all day.
10:14I know, and I'm really sorry.
10:16Listen, I gotta go. I will call you later.
10:18Love you, bye.
10:27Tom.
10:28What are you doing here?
10:29Is everything alright?
10:30Everything's fine.
10:31Well then, what are you doing?
10:34Here.
10:38Oh, no.
10:40Are you crazy?
10:41Crazy about you, baby.
10:44But I have so much to do, and I'm not going to be done until 2am.
10:50Possibly 3.
10:51Come on.
10:52This is important.
10:53Remember what the book said?
10:54Every night, no matter what.
10:56No.
10:57This is a really bad time for me.
11:05Well, you did buy me that deodorant.
11:08Whoop!
11:12Lynette, I have Carlos on line 2.
11:15Uh, tell him I'll call right back.
11:17He says it's really important.
11:21Hello?
11:22Hey, Lynette, I'm over here at Capital Consultant.
11:24The guys have a question.
11:25I need you to pull up their account.
11:27Now? I'm kind of busy.
11:29Well, the ad has to be at the printers by noon, so yeah, now.
11:31Let's go.
11:41Lynette.
11:43Lynette!
11:45Yes?
11:47What's going on? You all right?
11:49Sorry.
11:50Just had the handyman in here, but he's finished.
11:54Thank you, handyman.
11:56You're welcome, ma'am.
12:00So, Carlos, where were we?
12:05Can I get you something?
12:06No, thanks. I don't drink.
12:09Oh, that's right.
12:10Glug, glug. I remember now.
12:12I'm bringing you business, Carl. Try not to insult me.
12:16Sorry.
12:17So you want a divorce or...
12:19Yes, I know that comes as a surprise.
12:21Not really. I've met him. The guy's a stiff.
12:24Carl, if we move forward, I will insist you handle our divorce with dignity.
12:30You sure?
12:32I don't know of a dignified way to screw a spouse out of money that they, by law, are entitled
12:37to.
12:37That is why you're hiring me, right?
12:39I just want to protect what is rightfully mine.
12:42Can you help me?
12:44Sure.
12:46Lovely. I'll make out a check.
12:48Not so fast. I said I could do it. Not that I would.
12:53I need a favor.
12:55Well, what kind of a favor?
12:59MJ Delfina was having a sleepover at his house in two days.
13:02My son wasn't invited. Now his feelings are hurting.
13:05So?
13:06So. I want you to get my son into that sleepover.
13:09How would I go about doing that?
13:11Gosh, I don't know. How would I go about hiding your assets from Orson?
13:15I need your help, Carl. I really do. But I am not comfortable manipulating a six-year-old.
13:23You know, I had this one client.
13:26His wife had been with him since junior high.
13:28She supported him through med school, gave him three kids and the best years of her life.
13:32Once I had done my particular brand of legal magic.
13:36He ended up with 90% of the money and she ended up in a studio apartment.
13:40With a roommate.
13:48Then again, MJ does love my macaroons.
13:58Sweetie, don't listen to those kids. They're idiots. You are a gorgeous little girl.
14:01You have to say that. You're my dad.
14:03No, it's the truth. You are naturally beautiful. Makeup just covers that up.
14:06He's right, sweetie. You don't need all that gunk on your face.
14:09Then why do you wear it?
14:10Because I'm an adult. And besides, I hardly wear any.
14:14Come on, Gabby. Let's try to keep this real.
14:17Are you gonna wear makeup and Daddy gets his big award?
14:21Well, it's a big fancy dinner, of course.
14:23But that's not fair.
14:24Sweetie, you're six. There's a lot of things I can do that you don't.
14:27So you get to look pretty at Daddy's party and I have to look like this.
14:32Hey, I have a great idea.
14:33Okay, see? Your Daddy's got a great idea.
14:35How about if neither one of you wears makeup to the dinner?
14:39Okay.
14:41No, no, no. Your Daddy's just being silly.
14:45Can I talk to you for a second? Silly Daddy?
14:50Are you a lunatic? I am not walking into a ballroom full of people without my face on.
14:54Come on. This is the perfect opportunity to teach her that beauty is only skin deep.
14:57Yeah, well, once you see the skin without foundation, you may want to rethink that.
15:01Gabby, your daughter is in pain.
15:03And don't you love her enough to put your vanity aside for one night?
15:05I was in labor for 20 hours. She still owes me for that.
15:11Oh, fine.
15:13I will make the ultimate sacrifice and I will be ugly for my daughter.
15:18But if she ever needs a kidney...
15:26Wow, you're really going all out on this sleepover.
15:29Well, I'm not sure that tons of sugar and whistles are a good combination.
15:32Oh, good point.
15:34I'll make up some goodie bags filled with earplugs and vodka.
15:37That's great. I'm sure MJ will appreciate it.
15:39I'm sure he will. He's a great kid.
15:44Funny.
15:45That was hilarious the other day when he asked us when we were getting married.
15:49I'm glad you thought it was funny. I was tab dancing my ass off.
15:53No, you were great.
15:56Although, someday you'll probably have danced to the question.
15:59I'm sure he's forgotten by now. You know kids.
16:02Kids are like that. Grown-ups, on the other hand.
16:07Not so much.
16:09We're not talking about MJ anymore, are we?
16:13Oh, you want to go run and get your tap shoes?
16:15No, no. I'll be completely honest here.
16:18Moving in with you is one of the best decisions I ever made.
16:21You'd make me really, really happy.
16:25What?
16:27I've been married before.
16:29And I just don't see myself getting married again.
16:35Okay.
16:39Probably not what you wanted to hear.
16:41I wanted the truth. It's not your fault the truth sucks.
16:47So, could you get the streamers out of the car?
16:50Sure.
16:53By the way, for what it's worth, I do love you.
17:08I've only been working there two months, but I love it.
17:11And the kids are so cute.
17:13And I get to see MJ during the day, which is nice.
17:19You know, for a guy that just had to see me so bad, you seem awfully far away.
17:28I'm sorry.
17:30I'm just a little nervous.
17:34I have something to ask you, and I don't know how you're going to react.
17:40What is it?
17:45This is going to come out of nowhere, but...
17:52I want you to marry me.
17:56And here's how I came to this.
17:58The other day...
18:01What are you doing?
18:02I have to go upstairs.
18:05Now?
18:12Susan, are you okay?
18:14I'm fine. I just didn't want you to see me crying.
18:18Honey, you didn't let me finish.
18:19Oh, I'm sorry.
18:22Just, um...
18:23All these months...
18:24I've been telling myself that I didn't really care about you.
18:27Which was easy to do because you left so suddenly.
18:31But I am so lonely.
18:35And as much as I tell myself that I like being the strong, single woman on her own...
18:42The truth is...
18:44I think about you all the time.
18:47And I wanted to call you.
18:49But I thought you'd gotten over me.
18:53And to hear that you still love me.
18:57That is just something that I really need to hear right now.
19:02And I want you to know...
19:04Oh, God, I want you to know I love you too.
19:07Jackson, I love you.
19:23Oh, God.
19:25I really wish you'd let me finish.
19:29Finish what?
19:32Susan, I need you to marry me so that immigration doesn't deport me back to Canada.
19:39The one thing I didn't tell you is that I'm here on a student visa that expired six years ago.
19:46And I got a call from the authorities, so unless I can find somebody that will marry me, I'm going
19:50to be in really big trouble.
19:55Susan?
19:56Susan, did you hear me?
20:00I hurt.
20:04So...
20:05What do you say?
20:09Okay!
20:10Okay, it was a bad idea!
20:12Get out!
20:13Or I will kick your ass back to the Canadian border!
20:16Ow!
20:19Took a shower, brushed my teeth, we are good to go.
20:28Linda.
20:33What are you doing?
20:35You know, the pact.
20:37Didn't we already do it tonight?
20:40No.
20:41Oh, they're all starting to blur.
20:44Look, I worked till 3am last night. I'm exhausted. How about we take a rain check?
20:50A rain check? This isn't baseball!
20:53Every night for 30 days. That's the law.
20:56Tom, I have a 7am meeting.
21:00How about I take a long lunch and you do me twice at work tomorrow?
21:05Come on.
21:06This is important.
21:09Okay.
21:10Okay.
21:12I'll have sex.
21:14But can you make it quick?
21:15Annette, please. You can't rush an artist.
21:24Mm.
21:25Mm-hmm.
21:28Mm-hmm.
21:29Mm-hmm.
21:34Morning.
21:35Oh, sorry. I don't have time for breakfast.
21:38Good.
21:38I didn't make you any.
21:39Oh, okay. Uh, coffee will be fine.
21:42Beans are right there. Grab a handful and grind.
21:45Is there a problem?
21:48You don't remember?
21:50Last night, we were having sex.
21:53You fell asleep?
21:56After?
21:57During.
21:59Oh.
22:01Was it good?
22:03I didn't finish.
22:06You ruined our streak, Lynette.
22:08I'm sorry. I was exhausted.
22:11It's not like I was asking you to scrub a floor.
22:13All you had to do was lie there.
22:15Like you usually do.
22:17Okay, I'm gonna let that one go, cause you're upset.
22:21Well, it's true. With you being so tired from work lately,
22:24I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting.
22:25Tom, you're being completely irrational.
22:27We've had sex 23 days straight.
22:29I've seen more sealing than Michelangelo.
22:31We made a commitment, Lynette.
22:32The book says-
22:33Oh, would you stop with the book?
22:34You bought it at a car wash along with a pack of gum and an air freshener.
22:37You're right. It's stupid.
22:39All my ideas are stupid.
22:40I should just stick to doing chores.
22:42Don't just walk away.
22:44You better get to work, Lynette.
22:45You're gonna be late.
22:51Hey, haven't seen you boys in a while.
22:53Well, there's been a break in the club fire case, Miss Williams.
22:56Got him in it?
22:58Do you know this guy?
23:01No. Who is he?
23:02Dr. Samuel Heller, a psychiatrist from Boston.
23:05He's a guy who burned up in the fire.
23:07What's a shrink from Boston doing in Fairview?
23:09No idea, but we'd like to find out if anyone knows him or what he was doing there.
23:15Did you see him backstage?
23:16No, I didn't see anybody.
23:21Except for Scott.
23:23Yeah, but I told you, that was a mistake.
23:28Do you know a guy named Jackson Braddock? He was backstage.
23:32Was he?
23:33Yeah. He got locked in the employee men's room right before the fire started.
23:37Well, I don't know anything about that. Have you talked to him?
23:40We've been trying, but he left town and we've been unable to find him.
23:43That's a shame.
23:44We'll figure it out. Thanks for your time.
23:46You bet.
23:58Hey, Susan, it's Dave.
24:00Yeah, I was thinking I'd pick up you and MJ around 6 a.m. Saturday for the trip.
24:04Yeah.
24:06I figured the earlier we get going, the better.
24:08Okay.
24:13Well, hello there, MJ. I was baking this morning and like an idiot, I made too many macaroons.
24:18Would you be willing to take one? I would hate to see them go to waste.
24:22Macaroons are my favorite.
24:24Oh, really? What a delightful coincidence.
24:27You know, I could bake these for you every week and all I'd need in return is just the tiniest
24:32of favors.
24:33What kind of favor?
24:34Invite Evan Meyer to your sleepover.
24:36I don't like Evan. He's mean.
24:39Oh, no.
24:40Deep down, he's just a fragile little boy who wants to be liked.
24:45He hit me with a dead squirrel.
24:48Now, MJ, we can find faults with all our friends if we nitpick.
24:51What do you say? Will you invite him?
24:56Would you like some ice cream with your macaroons? Because I could make that happen.
25:01Marie, I'm late for my golf game.
25:03I mean, I don't have time to go to the ATM, so I took the cash out of your wallet.
25:10Bye.
25:20MJ, there's someone in my life who hits me with a dead squirrel every single day.
25:28And you are the only one who can help me.
25:32Please, please invite Evan to your party.
25:38Okay.
25:42Thank you, sweetheart.
25:48For the stuff I do for macaroons.
26:00Go away. I don't want to talk to you.
26:03Come on, let me in.
26:04Thanks, but I've reached my maximum allowance for humiliation this week.
26:09Listen, I'm sorry you thought it was a real proposal.
26:12In retrospect, I should have led with deportation.
26:15Maximum allowance exceeded.
26:20What do you want?
26:22I wanted to apologize.
26:23You have every right to be mad at me.
26:25Oh, I'm not mad at you.
26:27I'm just disappointed in myself.
26:31I was a little lonely and a little afraid, and I...
26:35I just did what I'd always do.
26:39Let some silly romantic fantasy take over.
26:44I didn't know you still felt that way about me.
26:48I don't.
26:50This isn't about you.
26:52Not really.
26:55Besides, you moved on.
26:56When?
26:59Well, I had to.
27:00You pushed me away.
27:03I had to...
27:04heal my heart and get over it.
27:12This is really the only thing you can do to stay here and do your work.
27:17Yeah.
27:28I'll help you.
27:30Really?
27:32Yeah.
27:34I'll do it.
27:35But that's it.
27:37No love, no sex.
27:39Just...
27:40marriage.
27:41No sex?
27:43You want people to think this is a real marriage, don't you?
27:57Gabby, come on.
28:01For God's sakes, will you take those off?
28:03It's eight o'clock at night.
28:06As long as you don't mind people thinking you're out from the town with your anemic lesbian sister.
28:10There's our man of honor.
28:13Gabby, this is Stephanie.
28:14She put this whole banquet together.
28:16Hi. Nice to meet you.
28:17You're probably wondering why I look like this.
28:20Excuse me?
28:21I'm not ill.
28:22I'm just not wearing any makeup, so I can teach my daughter that beauty is what's on the inside.
28:25I don't actually look this hideous.
28:29Okay.
28:34Will you please stop explaining yourself?
28:36I mean, it was bad enough when you did it with the valet.
28:38I can't help it.
28:39I don't want people thinking I condone this face.
28:42I'm gonna go find our table.
28:48Champagne?
28:48Oh, thank you.
28:50I'm not ill, I'm just not wearing any makeup.
28:52Gabby!
28:53I gotta go.
28:57Everybody!
28:58Come on guys, no running in the house.
29:02These candy apples are great.
29:04Me and Evan have another one?
29:05Well, we better ask Catherine.
29:06Where is Catherine?
29:12Hey, you're missing all the fun.
29:14I just cut a candied apple out of a kid's hair.
29:18Sounds like you got everything under control.
29:21No, come on down.
29:22It's not as much fun without you.
29:25Okay.
29:27You were honest with me, so I'm gonna be honest with you.
29:32I got scared.
29:36What?
29:38I was hosting a party with this amazing man and his adorable son, and we were like the perfect family.
29:46And then I realized, we're not a family.
29:50It could all go away in an instant.
29:54Catherine, I'm not leaving.
29:56But you're not committing either.
30:00Why not, Mike?
30:02Is it Susan?
30:04You still in love with her?
30:07No.
30:09No, I've told you that.
30:10Then it must be me.
30:13Catherine, I love having you in my life.
30:17I'm just not ready.
30:20I don't know what else to say.
30:23I'm not trying to get you to say anything.
30:26I just have to take care of myself.
30:34I should probably make sure the first floor is still there.
30:45Excuse me, the mayor's about to leave, and the newspaper wants a photo with him and your family.
30:49Oh, that's so sweet.
30:51Tell him no ain't help.
30:52Tell him we'll be right there.
30:55The newspaper? Forget it.
30:57Gabby, I do business with the city. I can't just blow off the mayor.
31:00Seriously, we cannot allow this to be photographed.
31:02Next time there's an epidemic, people are gonna think I'm patient zero.
31:07You're not getting out of this.
31:11Fine.
31:12Just so we're clear, you're also Latino Jerk of the Year.
31:15Come on, let's go.
31:15Well, can I at least use the bathroom first?
31:23Ladies, attention please.
31:25I am in a jam and I need lipstick and eyeliner.
31:29Come on, chop chop.
31:32You can use my makeup.
31:35Oh, that doesn't really go with my skin tone.
31:37What do you mean? We have the same coloring.
31:40Yeah, it doesn't really go with your skin tone either.
31:41But I can only deal with one disaster at a time.
31:44Oh, Asian girl, close enough.
31:47I don't think so.
31:49Was it the chop chop thing?
31:50Fine, I'm sorry.
31:52Now can I borrow some blush?
31:53I don't share cosmetics. I'm sort of a germ freak.
31:56Oh, don't worry, I'm as healthy as a horse.
31:58Really?
31:59You look sick.
32:01That's because I don't have any makeup!
32:03I said no. Now leave me alone.
32:05Oh, okay, okay, look.
32:06I'm sorry.
32:07You're right. I never should have asked.
32:12Hey!
32:13Come on now or I'll close the candy!
32:15You know, for a woman who has a purse full of dinner rolls, you sure have a lot of attitude.
32:24Oh, good. We're all here.
32:26By the way, Mrs. Solis, you look absolutely stunning.
32:31Yeah, Mom. You look great.
32:35Okay, big smiles, everyone.
32:44See this? My third espresso.
32:48I'm wired. No way I'm falling asleep tonight.
32:56Hey, how about we throw a pizza on the front lawn and when the kids run out to get it,
33:03we lock the door and do it in every room in the house.
33:05Yes.
33:12Tom, I'm sorry.
33:14I don't know what else to say.
33:15If you want to stay mad, I guess you're gonna stay mad.
33:21I am not mad, Lynette.
33:23Then what's wrong?
33:25You're gonna think it's stupid.
33:27Tell me.
33:30You wanna know why sex has become so important to me lately?
33:34Because you are the only thing in my life that I am passionate about.
33:40That is so sweet.
33:42No, no, it's not good, Lynette. Not for me, not for you.
33:47I need something else to be excited about.
33:50I thought you wanted to do this, to take a break and stay home.
33:53I did. You know, I figured the kids are grown and I can take care of the house and the
33:59errands and it'll be easy. And it is.
34:01It's too damn easy. I am finished with my work by noon. And then I just sit around waiting for
34:10you to come home.
34:10So, what do you want to do? Hmm? What are you passionate about?
34:18I don't know.
34:22I'm a middle-aged guy and I don't know what I want to do with my life.
34:31I told you I was stupid.
34:34I told you I was stupid.
34:36I know.
34:49Hey.
34:54I know I disappointed you tonight and I'm really sorry.
34:57It's okay. I know why you did it.
35:00I need makeup too.
35:03Honey, I know you think being pretty seems like the most important thing in the world right now.
35:09But believe me, it's not.
35:10You were a model.
35:14Yes, I was.
35:17And my whole life, people told me how pretty I was.
35:22So, you know what? I never thought I had to work hard in school or work on friendships or my
35:28personality. None of it.
35:31And then I stopped modeling and I realized I didn't have much on the inside.
35:36I don't want that for you.
35:40I want you to be brave and funny and creative.
35:45To be more than just a shell.
35:48I want you to have the whole rich gooey center.
35:55Will you promise to do that for yourself?
35:59Okay.
36:05When do I get to wear makeup?
36:11I'll tell you what.
36:12You can wear makeup the day you realize you don't really need it.
36:24Hey!
36:25I bought MJ a fishing pole.
36:26Figure I teach the little guy how to cast before we hit the water.
36:29Oh, my God.
36:30We're not going to be able to make it this weekend.
36:32I'm kind of...
36:35getting married.
36:36What?
36:38To who?
36:40Dave Williams.
36:42I thought I heard you out here.
36:44Jackson!
36:45So when you thought I was out of the picture, I'm back.
36:53Since you held up your end of the bargain, I'm going to hold up mine.
36:56I'm going to make sure that you walk away from this marriage with your business and your assets intact.
37:01Now, to accomplish this, I may need you to lie, Stonewall.
37:05Even resort to some outright trickery.
37:08My question is...
37:10Will you be up for that?
37:15I used to think of myself as a good person.
37:18If I had a choice, I would always choose the high road.
37:24Lately, I've begun to realize that...
37:29I'm capable of doing whatever needs to be done.
37:32You know what that makes you?
37:36The perfect client.
37:44On this street, the bargaining is finished by sundown.
37:50A daughter agrees to go to bed early, if her mother lets her dress up in her old gowns.
37:58A woman agrees to let her fiancé spend the night, if he'll agree to sleep on the sofa.
38:05A man allows his lover to get close, as long as they don't discuss the future.
38:14Yes, everyone knows how to bargain on Wisteria Lane.
38:19Hi.
38:21What are you doing up so late?
38:23Well, I have a proposition for you.
38:27I'll make you breakfast in the morning, if you make love to me tonight.
38:33Why not?
38:37But sometimes, they get more than they bargained for.
38:42I'll make you two months later.
38:42I'm so glad that I walk around.
38:43I'll make you two months later.