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00:03Everyone who met Orson Hodge knew he believed in being polite.
00:09He greeted his neighbors each day with a sunny...
00:12Good morning.
00:15He opened doors for young women with a gallant...
00:18Allow me.
00:21If he bumped into a stranger on the street, he'd cheerfully say...
00:25I beg your pardon.
00:27And if one of his friends was having a hard time, Orson was the first to say...
00:33You need some help there?
00:34...whether his friend wanted his help or not.
00:38Orson, what are you doing here?
00:40Well, I heard about your going out of business sale, and I thought you could use a hand.
00:45I'm good. Thanks.
00:50Oh, this is charming.
00:52Oh, this all-shaker my grandfather gave me used to display it on the shelf.
00:57How much you want for it?
00:58It's not for sale.
01:00Everything in that box is stuff I'm taking with me.
01:03Oh, okay.
01:04Just trying to help out.
01:06I know it's a difficult day, and I think I, of all people, understand what it is you're going through.
01:13Why you, of all people?
01:15Well, I know what it's like to have your livelihood suddenly vanish.
01:19Remember, I used to be a dentist.
01:20Oh, right.
01:23Right.
01:25Of course, it's not really the same, is it?
01:29What's not?
01:30My business started going south because of a bad economy.
01:33It got worse when my son was accused of a crime that he didn't commit.
01:36But you lost your license because you went to prison for a crime you did commit.
01:42Why are you being this way?
01:44Because what's happening to me is unfair.
01:45What happened to you was...
01:47Justice?
01:47Justice.
01:48Yeah, and to compare my situation with yours on a day like this, I gotta tell you, it's
01:54a little insulting.
01:56Then I apologize.
01:57My intention was never to insult you.
02:00I wanted to support you in your hour of need.
02:04Um, vultures are starting to arrive.
02:07I'll leave you to it, then.
02:11Yes, everyone who met Orson Hodge knew he believed in being polite.
02:16What they didn't know is that he also believed in punishing those who weren't.
02:28The day after Mike Delfino moved in with Catherine Mayfair, she thought it would be nice to share
02:34her happiness.
02:37So she decided to throw a housewarming party for her friends and neighbors.
02:44But from the moment the first invitation was delivered, her friends began making assumptions about those who had been invited
02:54and about those who hadn't.
02:58I know it's late notice, but I do hope you'll all be able to make it.
03:01Now, does this really mean no gifts?
03:03Or is it like when Gabby says no gifts and she means no cheap gifts?
03:07You know, Catherine, if you need any help, I would be happy to make my thing.
03:10Hey, guys.
03:11What are we talking about?
03:16The federal deficit.
03:17Woo, that sucker's big.
03:21Actually, Susan, we were talking about my housewarming party.
03:25Oh, yeah, I'm so excited.
03:27You got my RSVP right?
03:28Yes, I'm so glad you're coming.
03:30Oh, um, by the way, can you bring your blue punch bowl?
03:32Absolutely.
03:33Anything else you need?
03:34Whoa, whoa, whoa.
03:35What's happening here?
03:36Why isn't the hair being pulled?
03:39Why would we do that?
03:40Um, let's see.
03:41She's shacking up with your ex?
03:43Something which, when I do it, I get an angry mob on my front lawn.
03:47I mean, let's be honest, Susan.
03:48You weren't exactly over the moon when you heard they were going to live together.
03:51Well, yes.
03:52I was upset at first.
03:54But, you know, Mike was going to be with someone eventually.
03:57And I consider myself lucky that it was someone who, after all is said and done,
04:01has always been my true friend.
04:04Susan, that's very sweet.
04:05And admirable.
04:06And abnormal.
04:07Normal.
04:09Hey, Gabby, remember when I was with Carlos?
04:11Shut it, bitch.
04:12See?
04:13That's normal.
04:22I'll give you $6,000 for it.
04:25What?
04:26It's a $12,000 oven.
04:27There's a dent in the door.
04:28Not a dent, a fist print.
04:32My husband's been a little frustrated lately.
04:34On the plus side, it matches the shoe print on the dishwasher.
04:37Uh-uh.
04:38$6,200, take it or leave it.
04:42Fine.
04:43Congratulations.
04:43You just stole a pizza oven.
04:47Hey, I got $6,200 for the oven.
04:50That guy is ripping us off.
04:51Yeah, well, putting in everything must go...
05:02...that we owe her and have enough to live on for 45 minutes.
05:08Forget I asked.
05:09I don't want to talk about it now.
05:12Look, I know this is a crappy day for you,
05:14but we need to start thinking about what our plans are going to be.
05:17I told you, I'm going to get a job.
05:19And that is so great.
05:21So when do you think that great thing might happen?
05:23Linda, don't.
05:24It's taking everything I got not to lose it right now.
05:27You honestly think you're going to get $200 for that cappuccino machine?
05:30I'll give you $50.
05:32$50?
05:33Do you...
05:33Hey.
05:35I think you better stop with the bargain hunting
05:38unless you want your face to match the oven and the dishwasher.
05:45Hey, guys.
05:47What the hell are they doing here?
05:49They had theater tickets and their sitter canceled.
05:51We're only going to watch their kids for a couple hours.
05:53Good idea, Gabby.
05:54We're hoping to slimeball cheat on his wife.
05:55Why not babysit for him, too?
05:57Hi.
05:59Oh, you guys are angels for doing this.
06:01Well, what are friends for?
06:02Speaking of which, thanks for hooking Brad up with his new girl.
06:05Uh, Shayla, right?
06:08You know, that hairstylist you recommended.
06:10I was at the mall making an appointment and Maria walked by.
06:13Oh, that Shayla.
06:15How many Shailas do you know?
06:18Two.
06:18Two.
06:19There's, uh, Shayla the hairstylist,
06:21and then there's this other Shayla I know who's a homewrecking whore.
06:25Hey, Carlos, why don't you take, uh, Maria and the kids inside
06:28and introduce them to the girls?
06:29Guys, come on in.
06:30All right.
06:31Let's go.
06:35You're using me as an alibi now?
06:37I paid you 30 grand.
06:39I want my money's worth.
06:40And by the way, you're at tennis game with Maria tomorrow.
06:42You need to move it to noon.
06:43Why?
06:43So you can go get another haircut?
06:45Shayla's got a couple hours off,
06:46and I'm going to spend them with her.
06:48Well, Bradley, we all want things.
06:51For instance, I would like Carlos to have a week off next month.
06:54Impossible.
06:55It's our busiest time.
06:56Come on, Bradley.
06:56We don't want to be late.
06:59Oh, Gabby, we're still on for tennis tomorrow, right?
07:02Four o'clock?
07:04Four.
07:04Let me think.
07:14Actually, noon would be better for me.
07:15Could you do noon?
07:17I was supposed to have lunch with Brad.
07:19Do you mind, sweetie?
07:21Well, I was really looking forward to it,
07:22but, uh, go ahead.
07:24You girls have fun.
07:25Listen to him.
07:26Can you believe this guy?
07:28Nope.
07:28He is not to be believed.
07:40My, what an interesting coat hanger.
07:42It's shaped like a sofa.
07:43Please put it in the closet.
07:46Sorry, Gabby.
07:49Mm-hmm.
07:55Person, why do you have a salt shaker from Scavo's Pizzeria?
08:00Oh, I stopped by to express my sympathies with Tom,
08:03and I remember looking at it,
08:05and I guess I absentmindedly put it in my pocket.
08:08Well, take it back now.
08:10They're liquidating,
08:10and they're going to need every penny they can get.
08:12Emma, ma, I want to stay here with you.
08:15Mi no like a Scavo so much.
08:19No?
08:20No.
08:21Very well.
08:22No, I'm not looking forward to going down there again.
08:24Really?
08:25Yes, I only went down there to commiserate,
08:26and he was very dismissive.
08:29Tom has a lot on his mind.
08:30I'm sure he didn't mean it.
08:31You weren't there, Brie.
08:32He was downright rude.
08:35You know, it would serve him right if I kept this.
08:38Don't be ridiculous.
08:39Tom's rudeness does not give you license to steal.
08:42Return it immediately.
08:43Ma, you, you such a pretty girl.
08:46I want to live here with you.
08:47Mwah, mwah.
08:54Hey.
08:55Oh, great.
08:56On the punch ball.
08:57Washed, clean, ready to go.
08:59Sorry about the mess.
09:00Like, still unpacking.
09:02Hey, did you manage to keep that antler chandelier out of here?
09:05Yeah, that went right to the garage.
09:07The tough one was the framed towel with some football guy sweat on it.
09:11That football guy is Peyton Manning.
09:13You would do well to learn that name.
09:16Oh.
09:17Wow.
09:19Oh, now that I really love.
09:22I almost couldn't believe he had something that nice.
09:25For what?
09:26I painted it.
09:27It was a gift for him.
09:29Really?
09:32You painted that.
09:34You didn't mention it.
09:35Yeah.
09:36It was a little beach we went to for our honeymoon.
09:39I mean, you know how much Mike loves the ocean.
09:42Yeah.
09:44Now I can see it every day.
09:47Anyway, um, can't wait for the party.
09:49It's gonna be fun.
09:51Yep.
10:04I'm sorry I have to go through this.
10:06It must be so hard.
10:07The hard part was when my friend tried to help me with a loan,
10:10and I thanked her by becoming a lunatic and denting her car.
10:13Now that you brought it up.
10:15Lynette, I've been feeling just awful about the way I took over your restaurant and insulted you.
10:21What can I say?
10:22I think we have the kind of friendship where you don't have to say anything.
10:25Let's just hug and move on.
10:28Okay?
10:32What's Tom holding up?
10:34He's doing great.
10:38Isn't it noon?
10:40Yeah, he's up early today.
10:43He just doesn't know what he's doing next.
10:47Maybe I can help.
10:48My publisher is thinking about doing his advertising in-house,
10:51and he's been looking for someone.
10:53Seriously?
10:54Yeah.
10:55Oh, my God, that would be great.
10:57And if he gets the job, you can actually cash the check.
11:00I tell you what, I will invite Bruce over for dinner.
11:02You and Tom can join us, and we'll turn it into a low-pressure job interview.
11:07This will really cheer Tom up.
11:09Great.
11:09I'll call Bruce this afternoon.
11:17Could you call him now?
11:23Hey, Mike.
11:24Oh, I'm looking forward to one of your world-famous martinis.
11:26Yeah, so was Miss McCluskey.
11:28She got here early.
11:30Ah, but don't panic.
11:31I sent Edie out for more booze.
11:32Ah, so you sent the mouse to buy the cheese.
11:34Well done.
11:36Well, look who's here.
11:37Somebody owes me $20.
11:39How about we let it ride?
11:40Double or nothing, McCluskey slugged someone by five.
11:42Catherine and I told you guys we were taking the high road.
11:45Why won't you believe us?
11:46Because I vividly remember yesterday, and I wasn't born during it.
11:50Okay, you know what?
11:50Let me show you something I think might change your mind.
11:53So, Catherine has a picture that I painted for Mike, hanging over her mantelpiece.
11:57Does she know you painted it?
11:58Yes, and we talked all about it.
12:00She loves it.
12:04You painted that?
12:05Wow, you're good.
12:06What?
12:07Where the hell is it?
12:08Bye-bye high, Roden.
12:10What's with the puss?
12:11Catherine hung one of Mike's paintings over the mantel
12:13until she found out Susan painted it, then she took it down.
12:15Ooh, something tells me this party's about to get good.
12:19You know, there could be a perfectly innocent explanation.
12:22Hey, Kathy, what happened to Susan's painting?
12:27Oh, I am such a klutz.
12:29I was dusting yesterday, and, well, it just fell.
12:34The glass shattered, and I took it to the framer.
12:37I looked it back in a jiffy.
12:40Oh, excuse me.
12:43See?
12:44A perfectly innocent, bald-faced lie.
12:49It is possible.
12:51I just read the picture of Martini's, and I'm not buying it.
12:54Really, Susan, there's not a woman in the world
12:55who doesn't know what I broke it, dusting, means.
12:57That's how I got rid of Tom's last bottle of musk,
12:59the cologne for men.
13:01All right, you guys, think what you want.
13:03I'm going to choose to believe her.
13:29All right, so we have whiskey and bourbon.
13:31What else does Mike want?
13:32Buh, buh, buh, we need a system.
13:34Let's start over there in Scotland,
13:36head over to Russia, and work our way around the globe.
13:40Wow, it's crowded in here.
13:41I buy a lottery ticket, so jackpot's a hundred million.
13:44Look, there's a priest.
13:46I knew that vow of poverty was a crock.
13:52Hello!
13:55You remember me?
13:57Father Drance.
14:00I didn't know you'd move back to the area.
14:04Oh, I just remembered.
14:05Mike wants vermouth.
14:06Can you grab that before we forget?
14:09Sure.
14:10Right away.
14:13It's wonderful to see you looking so well.
14:15Shut up.
14:17I'm only going to say this once.
14:19I've moved on.
14:23I've remarried.
14:24I have a new life, and it's the way I'd want to stay.
14:25New.
14:27Of course.
14:36So, uh, what was that about?
14:38Uh, he said we sat together once on an airplane.
14:40Apparently he's less memorable than he thinks he is.
14:43Come on.
14:43I don't want to miss the party.
14:54Fine.
14:56Fine.
14:58Fine.
14:58I won't do it, but you owe me.
15:01I gotta go.
15:03Let me guess.
15:04Brad.
15:04Yes, he wants me to take Maria shopping tomorrow.
15:06Yeah, so I can grab a quickie.
15:08You know, this whole thing is disgusting.
15:09I can't take it anymore.
15:11I know.
15:11Just keep reminding yourself that we're getting things out of it, too.
15:14Things I don't want.
15:15Things I haven't earned.
15:18Nah.
15:18I'm going to tell Bradley we're out.
15:19What?
15:20You can't do that.
15:21You'll lose your job and all that money.
15:23I don't care about the money.
15:25I do.
15:26And so does my personal shopper and Pilates instructor.
15:28Gabby, no.
15:29We're doing the right thing.
15:33Or we can make someone else do the right thing.
15:38Gabby, what does that mean?
15:39It means tomorrow I'm going to the mall.
15:43To get my hair cut by a slut.
15:53Hey.
15:54Uh, look what I found.
15:55My beach painting.
15:56Oh, yeah.
15:57Catherine told me it broke.
15:59Sorry about that.
16:00Yeah, that's what she told me, too.
16:01Only, uh, it didn't.
16:10What's weird?
16:11Why would she...
16:12I don't know.
16:13She seemed to love the painting.
16:16Until I told her that I painted it.
16:21Excuse me, just a minute.
16:25I'm not making a big deal.
16:27I just want to know why you lied.
16:28Please, not now.
16:29We have a house full of guests.
16:31We'll talk about this now.
16:32What are you doing?
16:33Uh, nothing.
16:35Susan showed you the painting.
16:36There's not a scratch on it.
16:37She what?
16:39You did it.
16:42Susan.
16:50I hope you enjoyed that.
16:52I didn't.
16:57I didn't.
17:03So, what are we thinking?
17:04Well, Shayla, it is Shayla, right?
17:07Mm-hmm.
17:08I need a fresh look.
17:10I've been going through some pretty intense personal stuff lately.
17:14Oh, really?
17:16Fine, I'll tell you.
17:18I have been having an affair with a married man.
17:21And it's come to that point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
17:25So, I want a new style that says I'm not a giant turd of sin.
17:29Well, that's not your fault that you fell in love with a married man.
17:32Yeah, that's what I thought at first, and then I realized that's stupid.
17:35I mean, what about his poor wife?
17:37Maybe she doesn't love him enough.
17:39Oh, no, she does.
17:40She loves him plenty.
17:41So, you want to take the bangs up a little bit?
17:43And his kids.
17:45Two adorable little kids.
17:47That's sad, but sometimes you just have to look out for yourself.
17:50Well, maybe I am tired of being that kind of selfish bitch.
17:53Shh. Have you ever considered, uh, highlights?
17:55Focus, Shayla.
17:56We are talking about how I'm ruining innocent people's lives.
17:59Gabby, you seem like a lovely, warm person.
18:03Stop beating yourself up.
18:04Oh, God's sake, you bleached blonde twit.
18:07I'm not talking about me.
18:08I'm talking about you and Bradley.
18:10What? What?
18:11What is this?
18:11Who are you?
18:12I'm a friend of Maria's, who, by the way, happens to be a warm and lovely person.
18:16Well, maybe she is, but Brad doesn't love her.
18:18He says he's going to leave her.
18:20Oh, Shayla, he's lying.
18:22She's pregnant.
18:23That's impossible.
18:24They haven't had sex in over a year.
18:26Well, call the Vatican, because we're going to need a manger and some hay.
18:30Get out.
18:31I'm just trying to protect you here.
18:33I said get out now.
18:38Okay, let's just take a deep breath here.
18:40Let's not do anything we're going to regret.
18:43Now.
18:53This is why people should never get their hair cut in a mall.
19:06You couldn't shave?
19:09Come on, Tom.
19:10You need to look nice.
19:11Bree's going to a lot of trouble for this dinner.
19:13What?
19:13Is she debuting in her salmon puff?
19:16Okay.
19:17I was going to wait to tell you this when you were in a good mood, but I realized that's
19:21not going to happen.
19:21So, Bree has a special guest tonight.
19:24Her publisher.
19:25And as luck would have it, he's looking to hire a new marketing executive.
19:28Oh, my God.
19:30Are you tricking me into a job interview?
19:32I'll find something, okay?
19:34I just need some time.
19:36You're grieving.
19:36I get it.
19:38But this sounds like a fantastic job.
19:40Please, just hear the guy out and make a nice impression.
19:45Fine.
19:46I'll shave.
19:47And brush your teeth.
19:48My eyes are watering.
19:49Oh.
19:51And don't just wet the toothbrush.
19:53I can tell.
20:01Bruce!
20:01Hello.
20:02Hi.
20:03Come on in.
20:04Thank you so much for joining us tonight.
20:07May I take your coat?
20:08Sure.
20:10Oh, wait.
20:10Let me get my brain out of there.
20:12I never go anywhere without this.
20:14That way, when I get a bright idea, wham, right into the tape recorder.
20:18Oh, sounds like quite a handy gizmo.
20:19Thank you, Orville.
20:21It's Orson.
20:22Orville, Orson.
20:23Either way, he came home from the playground covered in bruises.
20:26Am I right?
20:28Idea for children's book.
20:30Kid who gets the crap kicked out of him because he has a goofy name.
20:32Could be Orson.
20:34Oh, that's them.
20:35Wait till you meet Tom.
20:36You'll be so glad you had that tape recorder.
20:38He's just bursting with ideas.
20:41Hi.
20:42Tom, hi.
20:43I'd like you to meet my publisher, Bruce.
20:45It's nice to meet you.
20:46Hey.
20:47Marie, I'm getting beer if you don't mind.
20:56Hey, Catherine.
20:57Mike is standing across the street watching to make sure I apologize, even though it's
21:01clear to me you're the one who should be apologizing for the way you ruined my party.
21:06Well, that should be long enough, so here.
21:09Kiss my ass.
21:10Bye.
21:11Hold on.
21:14I'm sorry.
21:16But neither of us exactly gets a gold star for model behavior.
21:20It's not the same.
21:22Why not?
21:23You loved that painting until you found out that I did it, and then you acted totally petty.
21:28So why am I the only bad guy here?
21:35Let me ask you something, okay?
21:38Didn't it give you just the tiniest little thrill to tell me that that painting that I
21:42was so happy about was yours?
21:45That I had something in my house that represented the love between you and Mike?
21:50No.
21:51Then what are you doing, Susan?
21:54Can't you see how hard this is for me?
21:56You live right across the street.
21:58You guys share a kid.
22:01Do I have to have a painting of your honeymoon, too?
22:05Look, I knew I wasn't going to get a clean slate with Mike, okay?
22:09I just wanted a clean mantelpiece.
22:22Oh.
22:24Fantastic dinner, Brie.
22:26This was a great idea.
22:27Well, I just wanted to get you together with Tom here.
22:29I thought you two might hit it off.
22:31Yeah, Tom.
22:33Brie says you used to be quite the ad whiz.
22:36Oh, I don't know.
22:37He's being modest.
22:38He was the best.
22:40Good, because I'm looking for someone to head up a new division.
22:44I'm going to put some coffee on, Orson.
22:47Would you give me a hand?
22:48Let these three chat.
22:54So, do you think you have any interest in getting back in the game?
22:58I don't know.
22:59Timing's a little weird.
23:02How so?
23:03I don't know.
23:04Well, Tom was just running a very successful restaurant, and he just sold it at a handsome
23:10profit.
23:11So, he's waiting for the right opportunity.
23:14You might have to do a little selling here, Bruce.
23:16Huh.
23:17I guess the good ones are always the hardest to land.
23:20Yeah.
23:21Let me give it a shot.
23:22We represent a small stable of elite non-fiction authors from all over the world.
23:26So, you'd be working closely with those writers to come up with creative approaches to selling
23:30their books.
23:31That sounds amazing.
23:35I don't know.
23:37Are there more potatoes?
23:38You can have mine.
23:42Stop saying I don't know.
23:46Sounds like there's a lot of travel, and I'm not really big on living out of a suitcase.
23:52Even to do two weeks at the book fair in Paris while you stay at a five-star hotel?
23:57Paris?
23:58Like France?
23:59Yes, like the greatest city in the world.
24:02Gee, I'm getting Lynette excited.
24:04Too bad you don't have any advertising experience.
24:11Well, actually, I have 12 years of experience.
24:16Really?
24:17Yeah.
24:18I was account executive for eight years, VP for four more after that, and, by the way,
24:23I wrote my graduate thesis on the rise of the non-fiction novel.
24:28Wow.
24:29I know.
24:30So, what kind of starting salary are you talking about?
24:32Lynette?
24:33Can I see you for a second?
24:35Okay.
24:36Bruce, could you hold that thought?
24:38I'm going to be right back.
24:42Well, we're on pins and needles.
24:44How's it going?
24:47What the hell are you doing?
24:48I'm getting this job.
24:49That's what I'm doing.
24:50I thought it was my job.
24:51Well, you're not acting like you want it very much, Mr. Uh, I don't know.
24:54Are there any more potatoes?
24:55It's not that I don't want it.
24:57It's just that it's all happening so fast.
24:58I need a little time to lick my wounds.
25:00Okay, you lick.
25:01I'm going to Paris.
25:02You're not taking my job.
25:05Your job?
25:06The one you're magically going to get by sulking and acting like a brat?
25:09You had a shot.
25:10You blew it.
25:11Oh, yeah?
25:12Yeah.
25:12You just messed with the bull, sister.
25:17Prepare to get the horn.
25:23Maybe we should slice the tart in here.
25:25I don't want to bring a large knife into this.
25:36Bruce, I was just saying to Lynette, I gave you my, I don't really care about this job
25:41thing to see if you really care about this job.
25:43And you do.
25:45And I like that.
25:47Clever.
25:48Now, we haven't talked compensation package yet, but I got a good feeling.
25:51You know, Tom, you're right.
25:53Bruce does care about this job.
25:54That's why he wants to make sure he gets the perfect person for it.
25:59Well, Lynette, you yourself said I was the best.
26:02Oh, you were.
26:03And you were the best person who ever worked for me.
26:05Used to be his boss.
26:10This is not what I had in mind.
26:12I don't know why either one of them wants to work for that jackass.
26:15Now, now, he's been very good to me.
26:17Well, of course he has.
26:18Because he knows you make him a lot of money.
26:19Me, on the other hand, he sees as an insignificant little man.
26:24Barely worth mentioning as he talks into his annoying penis-shaped tape recorder.
26:29So I said to him,
26:31And he said to me,
26:40Great story.
26:42I assume.
26:43I don't speak another language.
26:44But I've had ad campaigns translated into 12 different ones.
26:48Including Professor Crispy's potato chips.
26:50I love that campaign.
26:51You did that?
26:52I did.
26:53Yes.
26:54Tom was very good at his job.
26:56Right up until he got fired.
26:59Well, actually, I was relieved to get fired.
27:02My boss is kind of a ball buster.
27:04Oops.
27:05She's right here.
27:06Show regret.
27:12Oh, would anyone care for something sweet?
27:15I know I would.
27:24Well, we've all had our troubles as bosses, haven't we, Tom?
27:27I was sort of sugarcoating it when I said his restaurant was very successful.
27:30The truth is, he mismanaged that pizza joint right into the ground.
27:36Let me be very clear.
27:38I think Lynette is fantastic.
27:40She is a great manager.
27:42She's got terrific people skills and is very reliable.
27:45As long as the cancer doesn't flare up again.
27:53You know what?
27:56It's getting late.
27:57I should probably hit the road.
28:01But what about the job?
28:03Yeah.
28:04I just started looking.
28:06I'm sure it's going to be a long process.
28:08But trust me, you've certainly made an impression.
28:12I'll get your coat.
28:16Oh, it's a shame you can't stay for dessert.
28:19I've made tarte tatin.
28:21Idea for novel.
28:22Woman who's married to a gay man and doesn't know it.
28:28Well, thanks again.
28:32I don't know when I've had such an interesting evening.
28:35I'll call you tomorrow.
28:36We'll talk about your friends.
28:40Uh, Bruce.
28:41Why don't I wrap up a piece of that tarte to go?
28:44Yummy.
28:49Give it.
28:50Give what?
28:51Bruce's tape recorder.
28:52I don't know what...
28:53You took it.
28:54I saw you.
28:55Hey, has anybody seen my tape recorder?
28:57It was right here.
28:59I'll look.
29:01Please.
29:02Ah.
29:03Stop.
29:05I don't have it.
29:06What did you call this?
29:08Uh, Bruce is looking for, uh...
29:14Never mind.
29:17We will talk about this later.
29:21Look what got rotten with the dirty napkins.
29:26Thanks.
29:35Hello, Gabby.
29:36Dude!
29:38Jeez, Bradley, you scared me.
29:40You talked to Shayla.
29:42Yeah.
29:42She's a real gem.
29:43You shouldn't have done that.
29:45We have a deal.
29:46Well, I'm tired of the deal.
29:47And what you're doing to Maria is despicable.
29:49Hey.
29:50You're in no position to judge me.
29:52Don't forget, I was working with Carlos when you cheated on him.
29:56Yeah, well, I'm not that person anymore.
29:58I've changed.
29:59Right.
30:00You're worse.
30:01You're so worried about Maria until there's money or vacation time at stake, then you're
30:05only worried about Gabby.
30:07You know what?
30:08You're right.
30:10I'm out.
30:11What do you mean?
30:13Deal's over.
30:14Not covering for your stupid little fling anymore.
30:16It's not a fling.
30:17I love her.
30:18She's the most incredible woman I've ever met.
30:20Shayla?
30:20She has a Hello Kitty tip jar.
30:22Well, she makes me happy.
30:24I can't give her up.
30:25Well, at least be man enough to tell Maria.
30:28Because if you don't, I will.
30:32All right, fine.
30:33I will tell Maria.
30:35And you can tell Carlos to bring a box to work on Monday, because he's fired.
30:51So, dinner.
30:55Wow.
30:57Lynette, I will regret for the rest of my life what I said tonight.
31:00I don't know what's going on with me.
31:03I do.
31:04And it's okay.
31:05Besides, did you hear what came out of my mouth?
31:07Like I said.
31:09Wow.
31:11Wouldn't you love to hear what Bruce sent into his tape recorder on the ride home?
31:17Idea.
31:18Check local mental hospital for escape married couple.
31:32So, were you serious about wanting to go back to work?
31:40I was talking about that job tonight, and trying to convince Bruce I was good, and I remembered
31:45something.
31:46I am good.
31:47And I would like another chance to prove it.
31:52Okay.
31:54Really?
31:56Yeah.
31:56We did my thing for seven years.
32:00Now it's your turn.
32:07Do you know how embarrassed I would have been if Bruce had seen you take it?
32:10He deserved it.
32:11He insulted me.
32:13So say something.
32:14Stand up to him.
32:15But stealing?
32:16Honestly, Orson, why would you do something like that?
32:18I don't know, Marie.
32:21I don't.
32:22Here's something I do know.
32:23When I was a successful dentist, no one spoke to me to where they do now.
32:28When I lost my practice, I lost people's respect.
32:31And you hoped to earn it back through larceny.
32:33You haven't walked in my shoes.
32:35Tom lost his job.
32:36Everyone jumped to his rescue.
32:39Even you.
32:40Bending over backwards, trying to get him a job.
32:43I don't need to walk in your shoes, Orson.
32:45What you did was embarrassing and childish.
32:48And it's never going to happen again.
32:50Understood?
33:17I don't know.
33:19So, let's go.
33:23There he is.
33:26Father.
33:28Yes, can I help you?
33:29Oh, I hope so.
33:30I saw you the other night when you were buying your lottery ticket.
33:33I was with my husband, Dave.
33:36Ah.
33:38Yes, he said that you barely know each other, but it didn't seem that way to me.
33:43And, well, he refuses to talk about his past.
33:48So if there is anything that you could tell me about him...
33:51I'm not sure I can do that.
33:54Please.
33:55He has so many secrets, and I don't have anyone else to turn to.
33:59I wish I could help you, but...
34:02This is something you need to discuss with your husband.
34:04Well, if it was that easy, do you think that I would be here?
34:07I'm sorry.
34:11Please note that my thoughts are with you both, Mrs. Stache.
34:15It's William's.
34:18I'm too old school for my own good.
34:20I shouldn't just assume that you took your husband's name.
34:25Anyway, good luck, Mrs. Williams.
34:38Hey, Susan.
34:39I thought I had MJ till seven.
34:40You do?
34:41I am here to take my painting back.
34:43But you gave it to me.
34:44It's mine.
34:45Well, now I'm ungiving it.
34:46Try to keep up.
34:47Okay, if this is about what happened at the housewarming...
34:50It is, actually, because that is when I decided that I don't want this piece of art that I slaved
34:58over hanging in the house you are sharing with your new girlfriend.
35:01Capisce?
35:03Okay, so the other night you were mad because it wasn't hanging out, but now you want to
35:06take it.
35:06Yep.
35:06I'm complicated like that.
35:08Aren't you glad you divorced me?
35:09If you two want a painting so bad, paint your own.
35:13Susan.
35:14Mayfair.
35:16Stay out of this.
35:20This is between me and my ex.
35:23Got it?
35:41Unbelievable.
35:46Anyway, I'm thinking a brighter color for the baby's room.
35:48Now I know it's a bit of a stretch, but how do you feel about turquoise?
35:57Sweetheart?
35:59We need to talk.
36:18What are you reading?
36:20The want ads.
36:22Can't decide if I should be a data entry operator or join the Marines.
36:28I'm so sorry.
36:29Don't be.
36:30I told you I hated working for that jackass.
36:32You did the right thing.
36:33I should have done it sooner.
36:33But you did it, even though you knew you were going to lose a lot of money.
36:37I'm a good person, babe.
36:38I'm very proud of you.
36:40Well, that means a lot, coming from a United States Marine.
36:50Hello?
36:51Maria?
36:53Calm down.
36:55Calm down.
36:58Okay, we're coming over.
37:02I guess Riley told her.
37:04I guess Riley told her.
37:10Thanks for coming.
37:11I didn't know who else to call.
37:14It was horrible.
37:16He just kept telling me he loves her.
37:18She's the best thing that ever happened to him.
37:20He finally understands what love means.
37:31I just wanted him to stop talking.
37:42You should never be too impressed by people with good manners.
37:46They're the ones who will give a friendly wave, even when they've stolen from you.
37:54They're the type to sweetly welcome you, even as they try to uncover your secrets.
38:06They're the kind to offer you coffee, even as they report you to the police.
38:16And don't be too offended by someone who's openly rude.
38:21Because they may be that way, for the nicest of reasons.