- 2 days ago
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00:02Benjamin Katz was six years old, and there were a lot of things he didn't understand.
00:09He wasn't sure why the woman you call mommy isn't always your mother.
00:15Or how the man who was always there for him could suddenly be taken away.
00:22Or why you could go for a ride and never come back home.
00:29Yes, there were a lot of things Benjamin Katz couldn't understand.
00:34And no one seemed in a hurry to explain them.
00:39Here they come, finally.
00:41You know, Bree, things will be a little strained at first, so please be on your best behavior.
00:45I do not require lectures on tact.
00:47I know, it's just that we've missed Benji so much and it's taken so many olive branches to get them
00:51to come back.
00:52I'm aware of what's at stake, Orson.
00:53Good. So if you feel an impulse to criticize something, you'll keep the thought to yourself.
00:57Hi!
01:01I've already started.
01:02Danielle, what a delightfully ethnic ensemble.
01:06Hey, Mom.
01:08Where is it?
01:08Hey, Danielle.
01:09Oh, I want to meet my husband, Leo.
01:11It's nice to finally meet both of you in person.
01:13Lovely to meet you, Leo.
01:14Hey, who's this little linebacker, right Benji? Remember me?
01:17I'm not sure.
01:20That's okay.
01:21That's what this visit is for, right? Getting to know each other.
01:24Now we have you for the whole weekend, right?
01:27Yep, whole three days.
01:28Oh, good.
01:29We've made lots of plans.
01:30We're going to take you to the circus if it's okay with your folks.
01:33Can I go, Danielle?
01:35Danielle?
01:36Did he just call you Danielle?
01:37Well, it is my name.
01:39Yes, I'm aware of that. I picked it.
01:42I'm just concerned people might view it as a sign of, um, disrespect.
01:46By people, you mean you?
01:49Uh, Leo.
01:51Get all the luggage you have here on me.
01:52Oh, thanks.
01:53Okay.
01:54Um, let me be clear.
01:57I do not want you calling me Bree.
01:59Oh, don't worry. I told him to call you Granny.
02:04Yes, Benjamin Katz was only six years old.
02:08But even he could understand.
02:10This is going to be a long weekend.
02:17Any child will tell you that where you find a playground,
02:21you will also find bullies,
02:24young tyrants who bring pain,
02:29intimidation,
02:31and violence.
02:33What can children do in the face of such torment?
02:37Well, there is one obvious option.
02:40But not every child is eager to go running home.
02:44To mother.
02:45Oh, hey hon, how was the park?
02:47Wait, hold on.
02:49Mommy just found her first gray hair.
02:50I need you to grab it, yank it, and never speak of it again.
02:55Oh, look at your face.
02:57It's scratched.
02:58What happened?
03:01Nothing.
03:03And your shirt is ripped.
03:05It's the second time this week.
03:06Is someone picking on you?
03:12Who is it?
03:14Is it Jeffrey Hickson, that weird kid who eats paper?
03:18Is it Timmy Crowley?
03:20His mom slept in her car last night,
03:22who knows what's going on there.
03:25Is it that boy from your birthday?
03:27The one who slugged the pony?
03:31Oh, sweetie.
03:32I know you're upset,
03:34but you'll feel better if you talk about it.
03:35And there's nothing you can't tell me.
03:37I'm your mommy.
03:39I want to talk to daddy.
03:43Oh.
03:45Okay.
03:47We'll give him a call?
03:55You're not going to find another one in this condition.
03:56I mean, the car is a classic.
03:58Well, what do you think, Navila?
04:01I like it.
04:02I don't love it.
04:03I tell you what.
04:04Gabby and I want to find our car a nice home.
04:06So I'm prepared to knock a grand off.
04:07What do you say?
04:08I say knock off five grand and we'll talk.
04:10Oh, come on.
04:11It's already priced way below Blue Book.
04:13Not to mention it's mint.
04:13This is not mint.
04:15Can you not see this ding in the bumper here?
04:19Okay, this car goes zero to sixty in five seconds.
04:22By the time someone says, wow, a ding, you're in the next county.
04:25Four grand, you got yourself a deal.
04:27Deal.
04:28What? No, no, no deal.
04:30The non-driving blind guy does not speak for me.
04:33Would you excuse us?
04:44We're old.
04:45I'm better than you.
04:46Sorry, babe.
04:47We have to pay the mortgage.
04:49We can't afford to be better than anyone.
04:57Here.
04:59Take good care of her.
05:01Actually, it's not for us.
05:02It's for our nanny.
05:07Okay, that one hurt.
05:13Hey, so what'd you dig up on Mr. X?
05:16You mean Dave?
05:17Yeah.
05:17Nothing yet.
05:18In two days, what gives?
05:20Well, for starters, when I search for Dave Williams, I get a million and a half hits.
05:24To narrow it down, I'm gonna need more information, like where he was born, where he went to school, did
05:29he serve time in the military?
05:30Well, believe me, if he served time, it was in the state pen.
05:34Hey, Dave!
05:36Morning, ladies.
05:38Sick bastard.
05:39How are you?
05:40Hey, Katherine, your sprinkler system working okay now?
05:42Like a charm.
05:43And thanks again.
05:45Never been able to get that to work.
05:47Oh, I hear ya.
05:48To program those things, you need an engineering degree.
05:50Oh yeah? You got one of those?
05:52Anyway, really appreciate it.
05:55Take care.
05:57Ugh.
05:59I just can't go through with this.
06:01He just strikes me as so nice.
06:04That's supposed to comfort me, giving your track record with men?
06:09Katherine, please.
06:11The guy is bad news, I can't prove it, but I feel it in my bones.
06:14And I can't sit around doing nothing when I know that Edie's waking up every morning next to him.
06:21If anyone finds out we're doing this, no one will know.
06:25And when they do, they'll probably thank us.
06:28Because I'm telling ya, this guy's up to something.
06:35Cleaning out the old garage.
06:37My deepest sympathy.
06:38Hey, Dave.
06:39Are you settling in okay?
06:40Yeah.
06:41Yeah.
06:42Well, they finally delivered my flat screen.
06:44I was dying without it.
06:45I mean, it is 65 inches.
06:47Wow.
06:48Sweet.
06:49Hey, what?
06:50The playoffs are on.
06:51You should come check it out.
06:52It's like being right on the field.
06:54Yeah.
06:55Um, that's really busting my hump about clearing this place out, so.
06:58Well, maybe later.
07:00The game doesn't start for a couple hours.
07:01We could order one of those giant sandwiches.
07:03Sorry, but you know, check back with me.
07:04Make sure I survive this whole thing.
07:06Okay.
07:07Hi, Dave.
07:08Hi.
07:09Hey, Tom.
07:10Yeah?
07:12Why are there two piles?
07:14That's the pile that I'm throwing away, and this is the stuff I still need.
07:19You need unopened mountain climbing equipment from 1986?
07:23You don't climb mountains.
07:25Not yet, but someday.
07:26I mean, you know, who knows?
07:28I know.
07:29You get winded just climbing out of the tub.
07:31You're never gonna climb a mountain.
07:33You know what else you're never gonna do?
07:34Learn German, make your own beer, or have eight minute abs.
07:39Come on.
07:39Not the aftastic.
07:40Toss it.
07:41And keep tossing until this two-car garage can hold at least one car.
07:50Please tell me you're not getting rid of your bass.
07:52No point in hanging on to it.
07:54I mean, being in a band is just one more thing I'll never do.
07:57Before he moved, Mike and I, we used to get together on Saturdays and jam.
08:02Man, that was fun.
08:05You know, I play the drums.
08:07Maybe you and I should jam sometime.
08:12I guess we could.
08:13Maybe even later today.
08:15Yeah.
08:16Yeah.
08:16You know what?
08:17Just give me a couple of hours.
08:18I've got statues.
08:18I'll play boys.
08:19I'll see you later.
08:38Now remember, you can't just start grilling Edie or she'll get suspicious.
08:42You have to be subtle.
08:44I'll just follow your lead.
08:47Okay.
08:49Sorry I'm late.
08:51What a great idea.
08:53I haven't done this in ages.
08:55Fun lunch with the girls.
08:57Yes, fun.
08:58Where was Dave born?
09:00What?
09:02We were just wondering where he got his great manners.
09:06He's got that gentle bearing of a southern gentleman.
09:11No, he's from somewhere in the Midwest.
09:14Somewhere?
09:15You don't know where your husband grew up?
09:16Well, he showed me a picture of his childhood home once.
09:19It had a cow in it.
09:20I lost interest.
09:23Honestly, Edie, how can you be married to a guy and not know these things?
09:26You know what?
09:27I think it's time to order.
09:29Where's our waitress?
09:30I'll be right with you, Mrs. Mayfair.
09:32Oh, no problem, Debbie.
09:33You take your time.
09:35She's such a sweet girl.
09:36She's saving money for college.
09:40Speaking of which, where did Dave go to college?
09:42Come on, Debbie.
09:44While we're young.
09:45I don't know.
09:46All right.
09:48What about high school?
09:49Why are you asking me all these questions?
09:51I just think it's odd that you're married to some guy and you don't know anything about him.
09:54Other than the fact that he's a lovely man.
09:59He fixed my sprinkler.
10:04I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm going to the ladies' room.
10:11Well, your subtle approach got us nowhere.
10:15I've been through a lot with this baby.
10:17I hate to sell her, but, you know, with my new sports car coming, I don't really need it.
10:21Here she is.
10:26How's it look?
10:28Be glad you're blind.
10:30We have to be practical.
10:31We just need something to get us from point A to point B.
10:33Let's buy the thing.
10:34Okay, just let me handle this.
10:37So, do we have a sale?
10:40I don't know, Andrew. I mean, we like it. We don't love it.
10:45Yeah, well, no one buys a car like this and loves it.
10:47It's all about the price.
10:49And you're not going to do better.
10:51Yeah, about that price.
10:53You're going to have to drop it.
10:54I mean, look at all these dents.
10:56Yeah, it's also missing three hubcaps and it's got a hanger for an antenna.
11:00Full disclosure. It's a piece of crap.
11:02You want it or not.
11:05Well, I'll tell you what.
11:06Since your mom and I are dear friends, I'll take it off your hands if you knock off 300.
11:10And since my mom and you are dear friends, I'll resist the urge to flip you the bird.
11:16Andrew, unless you lower this price, we're walking. Right now.
11:20See ya.
11:22I mean it. This is it.
11:25Fine.
11:26Fine?
11:33Okay, fine. Knock off 200 and we'll give you cash.
11:37No.
11:38100?
11:39No.
11:40What? You at least have it washed?
11:42I'll empty the ashtray. Final offer.
11:46Damn you.
11:55You beat me again.
11:57Curse you and your diabolical checkers prowess.
12:01All right, Orson. Don't overexcite him on the upholstery.
12:05So, Danielle, what would you like me to make as a side dish for your welcome home party?
12:10I can do anything so long as it complements beef tenderloin.
12:13Actually, we don't eat meat. We're vegetarians.
12:17Excuse me?
12:18So is Benjamin.
12:25Oh, well, since when?
12:28Since I realized that meat was a byproduct of murder.
12:32Would it be more acceptable if I shopped for a suicidal pork loin?
12:36Free.
12:37Free.
12:37It's no big deal.
12:38I'll just make a nice risotto.
12:40This isn't about dinner.
12:41This is about her nutty liberal politics getting in the way of our grandson's nutrition.
12:46He gets all the protein he needs from cheese and beans and tofu.
12:49Well, this isn't just about nutrition.
12:51Do you want him to be teased at school every time he pulls tofu out of his lunchbox?
12:58Actually, that won't be an issue. Danielle is homeschooling him.
13:03Excuse me? You're teaching him?
13:06Yes, I take it you have an opinion?
13:08So, instead of sending him to a proper school, you're going to give him the benefit of your straight C
13:13average?
13:13Hey, he's only six and he's already reading at a third grade level.
13:16Well, what happens next year when he overtakes you?
13:20Free. Best behavior, remember?
13:22I am sorry, but am I supposed to sit by while she degrades his body and his mind?
13:27Fine.
13:30Criticize my parenting all you want. I don't care.
13:33Because you don't get to decide how he's raised anymore.
13:37I'm his mother.
13:41Oh!
13:42And by the way, mark your calendars, cause seven years from next Saturday, Benjamin's Bar Mitzvah.
14:02Hey!
14:06Isn't this cool? Dave brought his drums over so we could jam.
14:09Your boy's pretty good.
14:10Yeah, and we figured out we got bass, we got drums, Mike plays guitar, I think Orson plays keyboard.
14:15Do you see where I am going with this?
14:16I do, but I'm hoping I'm wrong.
14:18We're going to start a garage band!
14:20And I wasn't!
14:21Maybe if we get good enough, we could even get like a couple of gigs. How fun would that be?
14:26Gigs? Did you just say gigs?
14:29All we need is a little time to practice. A few nights a week, some weekends.
14:33What?
14:33Well, just until we get the rhythm section all dialed in.
14:37Okay, I need to dial you into some gigs you already have, which are running a restaurant, being a husband
14:43and a father.
14:43And I thought you were the one who said you want to spend more time with your family.
14:48But we could play clubs.
14:50I mean, he's just having a little fun, Lynette.
14:53Guys need to blow off steam.
14:55Could you just, for a sec, come on.
14:58You know I'm right, you're far too busy for this.
15:06Whoa.
15:07You can't just decide for me like that.
15:10I mean, if I want to play bass, I will play bass.
15:14I'm not hurting anybody.
15:16Those of us with hearing beg to differ.
15:18Okay, you know what?
15:19Please leave our rehearsal space.
15:21Oh, come on, Tom. This is not your...
15:33No!
15:35No!!
15:35Get out zrobić reallyuge gas!
15:54Ah, it's it, now!
15:56You want me to do it now?
16:05Oh, hey. What's up?
16:09You sold me a lemon. That's what's up.
16:11What are you talking about?
16:13Your car! I took it to a mechanic who told me the radiator shot.
16:17Oh, that, yeah. It's been giving me trouble for years. Just use the jug.
16:22What jug?
16:23It's in the trunk. You just keep it full of water, and when the radiator overheats, you fill it up.
16:27Oh, and try not going up hills and stay in the shade as much as possible.
16:32Okay. I can't drive around avoiding gravity and the sun.
16:36Sorry. If you want a car with no flaws, buy a new one.
16:40Or I could get the radiator fixed, which is going to cost $300, which you are paying for.
16:45Whoa, whoa, whoa. Remember full disclosure? Crap. This is your car. It's your problem.
16:51Okay, you know what? That's it. I want to talk to your mother.
16:53Where? Well, she's in a meeting right now. Can I take a message?
16:58Damn it, Andrew. You tell Bree to call me by the end of the day.
17:02May I ask what it's regarding?
17:08All right, we'll talk about it more later, buddy. Why don't you go on outside and play for a while?
17:11Okay.
17:15Well, what did he say?
17:17Well, he still won't tell me who's picking on him, but he did ask me to teach him how to
17:19fight.
17:20He's only five. I don't want him fighting.
17:23I'm sorry, but every boy has to learn how to throw a punch eventually.
17:25Oh.
17:26You know, if you want to give him a leg up, you could teach him a little capoeira.
17:30Capoeira what?
17:30It's Brazilian martial art that incorporates dance.
17:35Yeah, because there's nothing scarier than a guy coming at you with jazz hands.
17:39It's funny, but actually, the dance part's to catch your opponent off guard.
17:43Like that?
17:44No. There's a little more nuance to it.
17:46Like that.
17:47Where's the dance part?
17:50Oh, there it is, Ginger.
17:52You know what, boys? Not in the house.
17:57Oh, my God.
18:00Give it back. It's my ball now.
18:02It's my ball now.
18:02Hey, you leave him alone.
18:05Oh, honey.
18:08Is that who's been picking on you, Juanita Solis?
18:11Mm-hmm.
18:12Well, she is going to get a big surprise because your daddy is about to turn you into a killing
18:17machine.
18:18MJ, can I talk to your mom for a second?
18:21Mm-hmm.
18:26What?
18:26I can't teach him to hit a girl.
18:29That's not just any girl. You saw her. She could take down a small deer.
18:33It doesn't matter. If it wears a skirt, it's off limits.
18:36That is sexist.
18:37If feminism means anything, it's that it's okay for a big, mean girl to get her butt kicked.
18:42You, teach him one of those Brazilian kung fu cha-cha things.
18:47I'm with Mike.
18:48You can't hit girls.
18:50Oh, a couple of wusses.
18:52I'll handle it myself.
18:56Oops. Didn't see that coming.
18:58Just for that, you're breaking my rule about not hitting girls.
19:03Gabby, we have a problem.
19:05I just saw Juanita push MJ down.
19:08Really?
19:09Really. It's not the first time. Juanita's been bullying him.
19:13Wow. I'm sorry. I'll talk to her.
19:17And don't worry. No one will hear about this from me.
19:20Hear what?
19:22That MJ's getting beat up by a little girl.
19:26Well, a girl.
19:28Are you suggesting that Juanita is fat for her age?
19:32Gabby, Juanita's fat for your age.
19:35Yeah, well, let's face it. MJ could get beaten up by a kitten.
19:38You know what?
19:40Maybe you could teach your daughter how to use her words and not her fists.
19:46Yeah, or maybe you could teach your son to grow a pair.
19:58What's she looking at?
19:59Oh, just some old pictures.
20:02Can you guess who that little girl is?
20:07That's your mom way back when she was your age.
20:10What's she eating?
20:11Oh, a hot dog.
20:14No way.
20:15Oh, yes. Your mother loved hot dogs.
20:17Every day at lunchtime, she'd say to me,
20:20Mommy, I want a hot dog.
20:22How come she doesn't eat them now?
20:24Well, because she's all grown up.
20:26You see, hot dogs and hamburgers are what make little boys and girls grow up to be big and strong.
20:31And now that she's grown up, she doesn't need them anymore.
20:34Doesn't Mommy want me to be big and strong?
20:36I've been asking myself that all day.
20:40Maybe she's afraid if you get big, you'll leave home and go play for the Red Sox.
20:45But I want to get big. I want to play baseball.
20:48Oh. Well, in that case...
20:57Can I?
20:58You have to promise not to tell your mommy.
21:01Okay.
21:07Well, what do you think?
21:09It's like tofu, only better.
21:12Yes.
21:13Yes, it is.
21:18Two, three, four.
21:22When Tom Scobo threw himself into his new hobby,
21:28his wife told herself it was a phase and it would pass quickly.
21:35But three hours later, she realized it could not pass quickly enough.
21:44So, Lynette began to plot against her husband's instrument of torture.
21:52Careful, honey!
21:53Sorry.
21:54You could break your dad's guitar and...
21:56It was at that moment, her daughter provided her an idea for a simple accident.
22:06And...
22:07A clean alibi.
22:17Damn it!
22:20Hey!
22:21Is everybody alright?
22:22Oh my...
22:22It was lying in the middle of the floor!
22:25How in the world did that happen?
22:26Has Penny been playing in here again?
22:28I've told her a million times!
22:29No, I'm sure it was an accident, Tom.
22:31Please don't yell at her.
22:32This was a $1,600 base.
22:34I can't afford to replace it!
22:36Penny Lynn Scobo!
22:39Where is she?
22:40Oh, Tom!
22:43She's up in her room.
22:51I'm gonna go play outside!
22:53Oh, wait!
22:54You forgot your whistle.
22:56Okay, sweetie.
22:57This is just to be on the safe side.
22:59If Juanita comes around, you just blow it.
23:01I'll be right there.
23:03Okay.
23:04Good boy.
23:17Hey, give me back my whistle!
23:20Juanita Solis, don't you move!
23:22You are in big trouble!
23:27Never mind.
23:28What did you do to MJ?
23:30He wouldn't let me blow his whistle!
23:32So your solution was to push him down?
23:35Do you think that's nice?
23:36How would you feel if someone did that to you?
23:38I wouldn't care.
23:40Oh, really?
23:41You don't think it would hurt?
23:42Even if it did,
23:43I'm not a crybaby like MJ!
23:53I'm sorry.
23:54Juanita, I just wanted you to see how it felt.
23:57Are you okay?
23:59Susan!
23:59I assaulted her!
24:01Okay, first off, it wasn't as bad as it looked.
24:05Really?
24:05Because it looked like your body's now my daughter.
24:07I barely tapped her.
24:09She was milking it.
24:09That's your defense?
24:11You were only assaulting her a little?
24:12I was trying to teach her not to be a bully,
24:15something she should have learned from her mother.
24:17Well, I'm sorry.
24:18I was too busy trying to explain to her
24:20why MJ doesn't wear a dress like all the other little girls.
24:23This conversation is over.
24:25Tell Bob and Lee that I'll pay for the dent in their lawn.
24:29Oh, you did not!
24:32I did.
24:35You know what?
24:37We've both been incredibly childish here,
24:39and it is time one of us took the high road,
24:41so I am now going to walk away.
24:43Please take note of this conflict resolution
24:46and try to pass the lesson on to your daughter.
24:49You can dye that hair all you want,
24:50but the gray's just gonna keep coming.
24:54Ow!
24:56Ow!
24:57Ow!
24:58Ow!
24:59Ow!
24:59Ow!
25:00Ow!
25:00Ow!
25:02They call me one trash.
25:10Hey!
25:11You got a minute?
25:12Yeah, sure.
25:13Come on in.
25:16I, uh,
25:17I heard there was a little accident.
25:18Oh.
25:19So,
25:20I got this for Tom.
25:23You bought Tom a new base?
25:25It's not as smooth as his old one,
25:27but it's good.
25:28We can't accept this.
25:29It's mostly selfish on my part.
25:31I was having too much fun.
25:32Well, sorry,
25:34but maybe you could go skateboarding with Orson.
25:37All right.
25:38Forget about me.
25:41Tom was having fun.
25:42And from what I've seen,
25:44he needs it.
25:46Uh-huh.
25:47And what makes you think you know what my husband needs?
25:51Just something that I saw the other day
25:52when you were making him get rid of all his things.
25:55You mean his junk?
25:57It may be junk to you,
25:58but to Tom,
26:00well, that was stuff he was gonna get around to.
26:06You know what a midlife crisis is?
26:08I'm married to a 45-year-old man
26:09who has a red convertible.
26:11Yeah, I think I know.
26:12But you know how it happens?
26:14A man gets a certain age,
26:15and he realizes
26:18he's gonna die someday.
26:20Really die.
26:22And what's worse
26:23is that he's everything he's ever gonna be.
26:27He's never gonna be rich.
26:30He's never gonna climb a mountain.
26:34Now, some guys do
26:36bad things
26:37when they get those thoughts in their hands.
26:40By comparison,
26:41playing in a garage band,
26:42well,
26:43seems pretty harmless.
26:48Ah.
26:50So,
26:51now my marriage is in trouble,
26:53and you're gonna save it
26:54by giving Tom a base?
26:55No.
26:56No.
26:56I'm not.
27:01You are.
27:18Most of the guys in my class
27:19went into corporate law,
27:20but I wanted to do something
27:21that would influence environmental policy.
27:23That's how he ended up at the EPA.
27:25Oh.
27:26Hmm.
27:30Okay.
27:32So, Leo,
27:33where did you study law?
27:34Cornell.
27:35Now I'm jealous.
27:36I always wished
27:37that I'd gone to a school like Cornell,
27:38but
27:39it just
27:40wasn't in the cards for me.
27:42How about you, Dave?
27:43Me?
27:44No.
27:45It wasn't in my cards, either.
27:46So where did you go?
27:48After listening to Leo,
27:49I'd be embarrassed to tell you.
27:50So, EPA,
27:52what's your opinion
27:53on global warming?
27:54Fact or fiction?
27:55Hold on, darling.
27:56Mrs. McCluskey asked you a question.
27:59Tell her where you went to school.
28:04Oh, Edie,
28:05I think she was just making a conversation.
28:07So...
28:07Okay, then why didn't you tell me where you went?
28:09After all,
28:10I am your wife.
28:11Shouldn't I know?
28:21Actually, I didn't go to college.
28:26I took a job out of high school
28:27because my family was having
28:29a hard time.
28:33Not having a degree
28:34is something that has always
28:34been embarrassing to me,
28:36especially when I'm with people
28:38who do.
28:44So, my darling,
28:44is there anything else
28:45you'd like to quiz me about
28:46in public?
28:47My childhood stuttering,
28:49my dad's drinking problems?
28:55No, I'm good.
29:03I came to say I'm sorry.
29:05You attacked my child
29:07and then me.
29:07Why should I even listen to you?
29:10I brought booze.
29:12Come on in.
29:16Like, I have this rule.
29:18No toy guns.
29:19Except everything
29:21that MJ picks up,
29:22whether it's a hairbrush,
29:23a hanger,
29:24everything,
29:25he pretends it's a gun.
29:27What do you expect?
29:28He's a boy.
29:29That's my point.
29:30I know nothing
29:31about raising boys
29:32and I think MJ
29:33has figured this out.
29:34So he goes straight to Mike
29:36whenever there's a problem.
29:38But that's okay.
29:38Mike's a great dad.
29:40Yeah, sure.
29:41On alternate weekends,
29:43it's fine.
29:45Until MJ needs his daddy
29:46and his daddy's not there.
29:49Susan, it's not your fault.
29:53Well, we split up.
29:54So it's at least
29:55half my fault
29:56anyway you slice it.
29:58Well, if it's any consolation,
30:00Carlos is a hands-on,
30:02full-time dad
30:02and I still feel like
30:04I'm not getting the job done.
30:06Like, I'm not preparing them enough.
30:10Preparing them for what?
30:11For how hard life is.
30:12I mean, I have to admit,
30:14when you told me
30:15Juanita was bullying MJ,
30:16my first thought was,
30:17thank God!
30:18let her do the pushing,
30:20just as long as
30:20she's not a victim.
30:23Well, I don't see
30:24any kid of yours
30:25being a victim.
30:26You're the strongest
30:27person I know.
30:30I used to be.
30:34Look at my life, Susan.
30:36I...
30:38I've been beaten down.
30:44I've been beaten down.
30:45Today, and the next thing
30:45I knew, I was eating grass.
30:50Today doesn't count.
30:51Today I was mad.
30:53Well,
30:54maybe you need to get mad
30:56more often.
31:00Maybe you're right.
31:03This is nice.
31:04We should rumble
31:05all the time.
31:08To Susan Meyer,
31:10good mom.
31:12To Gabrielle Solis,
31:14another good mom.
31:17Mommy, we're hungry!
31:19So?
31:20There's waffles in the freezer!
31:23And give Mommy some ice!
31:28Isn't this nice?
31:30For the first time in years,
31:31my family is all here
31:32under the same roof.
31:34Here's to many more meals
31:36together.
31:36Hi.
31:37Welcome home.
31:38Cheers.
31:39I don't feel good, Danielle.
31:42Danielle?
31:44I think I'm gonna be sick.
31:46Let's get you
31:46to the powder room.
31:54Here we are.
31:55Mushroom risotto.
31:57There's an unfortunate
31:58coincidence.
31:59I'm so sorry, Mom.
32:01I'll clean it up.
32:01No, um,
32:02you take Benji upstairs.
32:03I'll get it.
32:04Orson, could you get a mop?
32:06Please?
32:09Oh my God.
32:10Is that meat?
32:12No!
32:13Of course not.
32:14Does this look like meat to you?
32:16It's hard to tell.
32:18Just so we're clear,
32:19what I'm about to throw up
32:20is a Western omelet.
32:22That is not meat.
32:23That piece right there,
32:24that's definitely meat!
32:26Still waiting on that mop!
32:28What did Grandma give you to eat?
32:30She said not to tell.
32:35You gave him meat
32:37and then told him to lie?
32:40I gave him a hot dog,
32:42all right.
32:42He liked it so much
32:43he asked for another.
32:45Two hot dogs?
32:46All right,
32:47I can see the second one
32:48was clearly a mistake.
32:52Come on,
32:52we're leaving.
32:54No!
32:54Daniel, please.
32:55I'm sorry, Orson.
32:56She's made it impossible
32:56for us to stay in this house.
32:58Daniel, wait.
32:59Wait!
33:05Well, we can still drink, right?
33:07Oh, yeah.
33:11Well, I've apologized
33:12till I'm blue in the face,
33:14but they're still leaving
33:14in the morning.
33:19Now, you're not speaking
33:20to me either?
33:24They're just mad.
33:25Things will be better next time.
33:28Do you honestly think
33:29they'll be you next time?
33:30It took us three years
33:31to talk them into this visit.
33:33It took you one day
33:34to go in.
33:36Orson, I'm truly sorry.
33:38It's just seeing
33:40all these mistakes
33:42that she's making
33:42with Benjamin,
33:43it's just so hard for me.
33:44Do you know it's hard for me?
33:48When I left for prison,
33:50Benjamin was in my house.
33:52He was in my life.
33:54He called me Daddy.
33:56When I came home,
33:57he was gone.
34:02And you think
34:02that's my fault?
34:04Yes, I do.
34:06Orson, you weren't here.
34:08She came back.
34:09She was married
34:10to a lawyer.
34:11And don't forget,
34:12she is his mother.
34:14I tried to fight, but...
34:16You should have fought harder.
34:19I was on my knees.
34:20I was sobbing.
34:21She said no
34:21and then ripped her
34:22out of my arms.
34:24You have no right
34:25to say that to me.
34:38You kind of blindsided me tonight.
34:41I know.
34:42I am so sorry.
34:46I was clearly uncomfortable.
34:48I don't understand
34:49why you kept pressing me.
34:53Honestly,
34:54it was all
34:54Karen McCluskey's fault.
34:58Really?
34:58How so?
34:59She kept asking me
35:00all this stuff
35:01about your background
35:02and why I don't know
35:03more about you.
35:04And I should have just
35:06never let her get to me.
35:11It's okay, sweetie.
35:13Now I understand.
35:20It's kind of sad
35:20when you think about it.
35:22What do you mean?
35:24Maybe you guys
35:25don't notice
35:25because you're so used to her.
35:28But her behavior
35:29reminds me of my grandmother
35:30when we first started
35:31to notice.
35:33The dementia, that is.
35:38I remember
35:38my poor grandmother.
35:41Started getting so paranoid.
35:44She thought people
35:45were breaking into her house
35:46and stealing her things.
35:51We finally had to
35:51put her in a home.
35:55I just hope
35:56that doesn't happen to Karen.
36:12I want my 300 bucks.
36:14I told you.
36:15It's your car.
36:16You deal with it.
36:17That's it.
36:18No compassion.
36:19No, hey,
36:20let's split the bill
36:20and call it even.
36:22Look at it this way.
36:23You're not losing 300 bucks.
36:25You're gaining a valuable lesson.
36:27Fire beware.
36:28True.
36:29Now, here's a valuable lesson
36:31for you.
36:37Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
36:39What the hell is wrong with you?
36:40Give me my money
36:41or next time
36:41we're trading paint.
36:43Bluffing.
36:44I am tired of being
36:45a victim, Andrew.
36:46And trust me,
36:46that is no bluff.
36:50You touched my car
36:51and you're painful.
36:52Luckily, I'm insured.
36:54Oh, wait.
36:54Our policy lapsed.
36:56Hope you've got good coverage.
37:01Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
37:03I'll get my checkbook.
37:04I prefer cash.
37:11Bullies.
37:13Any adult will tell you
37:15the playground
37:16is not the only place
37:17to find them.
37:19Everywhere you look,
37:21you can find people
37:22unconcerned or unaware
37:24of the pain they inflict.
37:27It might be a neighbor
37:29preying on the suspicions
37:31of her friend.
37:33Or a daughter
37:35punishing the choices
37:36of her mother.
37:42Or a housewife
37:43seeking justice
37:45from the man
37:46who sold her a car.
37:49Yes, there are bullies
37:51everywhere.
37:52And the worst
37:53are the ones
37:55who take advantage of you
37:56without you ever knowing
38:00what they've done.
38:06The End