A cult British sci-fi comedy series following Dave Lister, the last surviving human aboard the spaceship Red Dwarf after a deadly radiation leak wipes out the crew. Alongside a hologram roommate, a humanoid cat, and a neurotic mechanoid, he navigates bizarre space adventures filled with absurd humor, time travel, alien encounters, and satirical takes on humanity.
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#ScienceFiction, #Sitcom, #BritishComedy, #SpaceAdventure, #CultClassic, #ComedySeries, #TimeTravel, #Futuristic, #SpaceCrew, #AlienEncounters, #SciFiComedy, #DarkHumor, #Adventure, #SpaceSurvival, #ClassicTV, #Humor, #BritishTelevision, #Fantasy, #Satire, #RetroSciFi
Tags
#ScienceFiction, #Sitcom, #BritishComedy, #SpaceAdventure, #CultClassic, #ComedySeries, #TimeTravel, #Futuristic, #SpaceCrew, #AlienEncounters, #SciFiComedy, #DarkHumor, #Adventure, #SpaceSurvival, #ClassicTV, #Humor, #BritishTelevision, #Fantasy, #Satire, #RetroSciFi
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FunTranscript
00:37Amazing. The last strawberry in the universe.
00:44Calibrator locked and set. Organic infrastructure recorded and stored.
00:49Engage the triplicator.
00:53It works.
00:55What works?
00:56Well, we've adapted the matter paddle. Only now the returning signal is split three ways.
01:01So as well as receiving the original object, we also get two identical copies.
01:06This is going to solve all our supply problems.
01:08Taking into account the computations for recalibration, I think we can produce four, perhaps even five strawberries a week.
01:16Well, I don't know if the Nobel Prize people run a fruit section, but if they do, you've got to
01:20be this year's hot tip.
01:22Gentlemen, history beckons. You'll be famous. They'll build your statues. They'll even name towns after you.
01:29Dorksville springs instantly to mind.
01:32This machine could revolutionise our lives.
01:35Absolutely. With this little baby running at full pelt, I confidently predict we could have a full fruit salad by
01:40the end of the year.
01:42It's not just strawberries. This machine can duplicate anything. It can...
01:48Sir, what's wrong?
01:50Strawberry's incredible. It's so succulent. It's divine.
01:56Is that the same?
01:58Oh, no, no.
01:59Oh, how's it different?
02:01Bitter.
02:02Rancid.
02:04Kind of tangy.
02:05Sir, crunchy.
02:07Sir, tangy.
02:08Kind of chewy.
02:10Meaty even.
02:11Funny kind of wriggly texture.
02:16Oh, smelly.
02:18It's as if the triplicator has extracted all the very best elements out of one duplicate and all the very
02:22worst out of the other.
02:24So what would happen if we reversed the process?
02:27Oh, yes.
02:42Nice experiment, guys. What do you do for an encore? Neutron bomb juggling?
02:47Rude alert. Rude alert. An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle.
02:52Many whorlits are missing from my database. Abandoned shop. This is not a daffodil. Repeat. This is not a daffodil.
03:01Well, thankfully, Holly's unaffected.
03:05Right. The engine core is approaching critical mass. We'll have meltdown in less than 15 minutes.
03:10I think a brisk stroll in the direction of the cargo bay could be an outstanding career move at this
03:14point.
03:15What do you really say? Red floor's going to blow.
03:17In less time than it takes a Norwegian to buy skeebles.
03:20Hey, guys, I think they're playing our tune, the Awooga Waltz.
03:22Anyone care to join me in a quick step?
03:24Let's go.
03:34Holly, open cargo bay doors.
03:37Holly, those cargo bay doors we talked about earlier. Would you mind opening them, please?
03:42Holly, the doors, Holly!
03:43The phrase cargo bay doors does not appear to be in my Mexican.
03:47Manual override.
03:48The phrase manual override.
03:49Oh, forget it!
04:00That's 80 clicks. We should be clear of any possible blast zone.
04:05You really think it's going to blow?
04:07This can't be happening.
04:09Look, nothing's going to happen.
04:10They're just here as a precaution.
04:13The whole ship's full of fail-safes anyway.
04:15Coolant systems, containment panels, vacuum shields.
04:19The actual chances of it blowing are about one in...
04:28One.
04:39Well, according to the charts,
04:40the nearest asteroid with an S3 atmosphere is six hours away.
04:44The trouble is we only have enough fuel for five hours' flight.
04:48I don't think that's going to prove to be a major problem, though,
04:51because we only have enough oxygen for seven minutes.
04:59Well, that doesn't really affect us, does it?
05:02Sorry, sir.
05:03We don't need oxygen.
05:05Now, here's a thought.
05:06If we ejected their corpses into outer space,
05:10would the weight reduction allow us to reach the asteroid?
05:20Come on, Rimmie, that's what the attitude...
05:22Sorry?
05:22It's not the Red Dwarf way.
05:24Born in trouble, all in trouble.
05:26The posse!
05:27The boys from the Dwarf!
05:28If one of us is in a fix, the homeboys band together!
05:31It's the way it is!
05:32Have you got anything in writing?
05:36You're a toad, Rimmie.
05:38You're a weasel.
05:39You're a slimy, river-dwelling rodent with the models of a praying mantis.
05:43I'm just being a realist.
05:44Look, you only have seven minutes left to live.
05:47That's tragic.
05:48God, it's tragic!
05:50But for the rest of us, life must go on.
05:52If I may interject, sir, in your case, that's not exactly true.
05:57Remember, you are operating on emergency battery supplies.
06:00We have no spares.
06:02In fact, you yourself, sir, will expire in a little under four minutes.
06:09OK, homeboys, let's posse!
06:14Right, right, get a radar scope.
06:15Scan the wreckage.
06:16Straight away, sir.
06:16Cat, get suited up.
06:18Maybe some oxygen tanks have survived.
06:20Maybe some fuel tanks.
06:21If I can get a fix, I can get out there and bring them on board.
06:25Meanwhile, turn Rimmie down to minimum power.
06:27That way, it'll triple his running time.
06:30Sirs, there's something out there.
06:32Two objects far too vast to be debris.
06:35According to the backlog, they materialise just before the explosion.
06:39Can we get in any closer?
06:40Same.
06:40Enhance maximum.
06:46Of course, the triplicator has made two copies of Red Dwarf.
06:50How?
06:51Well, presumably, when I threw the triplicator into reverse,
06:54it didn't reverse the process, it reversed the field of the beam,
06:57projecting it out, not in.
06:58So instead of copying the strawberries, it copied the entire ship?
07:02Precisely.
07:03And presumably, the resultant power drain exposed the engine's core
07:06and caused the original to blow.
07:08Oh, so like the strawberries, there are two new Red Dwarfs.
07:12One succulent and divine, the other fish bait.
07:16So what's the problem?
07:18We've got us a ship.
07:19And from what you're saying, it should be better than the original.
07:21Well, not quite.
07:23In the lab, the triplicated copies had a limited lifespan.
07:26How limited?
07:27About an hour.
07:29Well, there may be a solution.
07:31The contents of the ship should be triplicated too.
07:34So there will be a working triplicator on board whichever of the ships is the superior.
07:38You see, theoretically, we should be able to reverse the reversal
07:41and replicate the original Red Dwarf by amalgamating the two copies.
07:45He makes it sound so simple.
07:57We have to find a terminal to reboost Mr. Rimmer's battery pack.
08:01We'll catch you up.
08:09Check that music.
08:11It's magnificent.
08:12I've never heard anything like it before.
08:16Oh, get a lungful of that air, man.
08:19Makes you feel good to be alive.
08:21Everything about this ship is, well, it's divine.
08:26Hey, let's check the food.
08:30What did you order?
08:31Ultimate test.
08:32Pop noodle.
08:37Mmm.
08:40I'll tell you one thing.
08:41I've been to a parallel universe,
08:43I've seen time running backwards,
08:45I've played pool with planets,
08:46and I've given birth to twins,
08:48but I never thought in my entire life
08:50I'd taste an edible pop noodle.
08:53Brothers, we bid you welcome.
08:56There must be much you do not understand.
08:59Come.
09:04You're me, but you're not me.
09:06I am part of you,
09:07your higher self,
09:08your spiritual side.
09:09I exist in you as potential,
09:11but now I'm here,
09:13extrapolated from your being.
09:14Extrapolated?
09:15But there is no way you are part of me.
09:17No part of me would ever be seen alive in sandals.
09:21I find clothes a distraction
09:23from the pursuit
09:24of spiritual and intellectual fulfillment.
09:27That's weird,
09:28because I find spiritual and intellectual fulfillment
09:30a distraction from the pursuit of clothes.
09:33Let us join our friends in a meditation chamber.
09:36Perhaps then we can spend a profitable evening
09:38seeking out answers to the metaphysical conundra
09:41that have plagued mankind since time began.
09:43Sounds wild.
09:44Hold me back.
09:47Philosophé, poetry, music, and study.
09:49That is how we spend our time,
09:51trying to expand our minds
09:53and unlock our full potential
09:54in the service of humankind.
09:56What a pair of losers.
09:58Ah, more visitors.
10:00Come, soul sibling,
10:01let us prepare some refreshments.
10:03May your path lead to wisdom,
10:05and in wisdom know ye peace.
10:14These guys are supposed to be part of us.
10:16I don't buy it.
10:18These are our higher selves.
10:19They are the people we could have become
10:20if all the negative aspects
10:22of our characters were removed.
10:24You mean hippies?
10:25Oh, well, with respect, sir,
10:26you think Jesus was a hippie.
10:28Well, he was.
10:29He had long hair,
10:29he didn't have a job.
10:30What more do you want?
10:32You're so much smarter than real.
10:35This is my guess.
10:36Your mind records everything.
10:37Everything you see, hear,
10:38every word you read,
10:39every conversation.
10:40It's all stored in your subconscious.
10:43Somehow, our higher selves
10:45have access to that knowledge.
10:46Look, I'm getting itchy feet here.
10:48You got the gizmo,
10:49let's scram before the mad monk brothers
10:50rope us into an evening
10:51of philosophical musings
10:52and self-flagellation.
10:54It's not that simple.
10:56This triplicator has only half
10:57the vital components.
10:58We need the second triplicator
11:00from the low ship.
11:06Let the entertainment begin.
11:08There will be haiku readings,
11:10poetry recitals,
11:11and musings on the inner soul.
11:13But first, music and dance.
11:16Brother Rimmer is portraying agony.
11:19The agony of the soul
11:20that searches out the truth.
11:22The truth danced by Brother Cat.
11:31It flicks like a firefly
11:33through the cold night
11:34of the soul.
11:36Teasing, confusing.
11:38And agony in torment
11:39searches forever in vain.
11:44Brothers, I am compelled to intrude.
11:47What is it, sister?
11:48I am receiving a weak
11:50but plaintive distress call
11:51from a ship which appears
11:52to be identical to our own.
11:53Then we must help them.
11:55With haste, brothers.
12:08Approach pattern blotters.
12:10Okay, let's just take her
12:11in nice and easy.
12:29Okay, keep them peeled, guys.
12:44Welcome, brothers.
12:45We bring food and medical supplies.
12:50For a devil,
12:51his gun must have gone off
12:52accidentally.
12:53Welcome, my children.
12:55We bring you balms and tinctures.
12:58I come at peace
12:59to sing you healing hymns.
13:04Is he dead?
13:05I can only hope.
13:07Oh, you poor wretch.
13:09There's a faulty gun.
13:11He's accidentally shot me
13:12five times.
13:13Oh, how I love them.
13:14Brother,
13:16there is a grievous fault
13:17with thine weapon.
13:18It keepeth shooting people.
13:21You see?
13:22There it goes again.
13:25What is this?
13:26It's a greeting gift.
13:27Sparkling.
13:28Welcome on.
13:29Come, let us embrace
13:30its splendid beauty
13:31and share in its vibrations.
13:33Oh, it's exquisite.
13:34Divine.
13:35What does it say to you, brother?
13:36What does it say to you, brother?
14:04It's already been unas desolate.
14:12Oh, my God.
14:36Oh, my God.
15:06Hello, my princess.
15:10What would you mean?
15:13I want to hurt you.
15:15Why?
15:17Because I'm not a very nice person.
15:30I'm going to lash you to within an inch of your life.
15:35And then I'm going to have you.
15:38I'm going to have you.
15:41I'm going to have you.
16:07What's your suggestion, brother?
16:09Perhaps I should go with Brother Cat.
16:10You haven't got a weapon.
16:12We have no need of weapons, feline brother.
16:14We wear protective herbs.
16:16I'm going with butt brace.
16:18As you wish, brother.
16:20Thank you, friend.
16:32It is ready.
16:34Clear his spine.
16:38Wake up.
16:39You don't want to miss the pain.
16:43Can you feel them leaving as they burrow into your spine?
16:51You guys are two letters short of an allotment.
16:55What do you want, then?
16:56We want your vessel.
16:58Nothing works here, man.
16:59Everything is in decay.
17:01And here is how we're going to get it.
17:13I can't move.
17:15Of course not.
17:16He hasn't turned you on yet.
17:19Shower.
17:30He applauds our efforts.
17:33Maybe he'd like to go for a little walk.
17:36Game over now, eh?
17:37Game over.
17:38I wonder what's in that supply cabinet.
17:55I wonder if he'd like a drink
17:58to calm him down.
18:00Shower.
18:01No.
18:08Whoops.
18:14Perhaps he'd like something to eat.
18:20Yes.
18:25Oh.
18:27You guys have got to be yanking my chain.
18:35Bon appetit.
18:46Welcome to our team.
18:48No way are you part of me.
18:50Oh, yes he is.
18:51He's the little boy who used to pull the legs off incense.
18:54He's the little boy who, on a hot summer's day,
18:57held a magnifying glass to his best friend's neck
19:00and watched him.
19:05He's the part of you that wants all your friends to fail.
19:10The part of you that loves to watch horror movies.
19:14The part of you that lusts after meaningless sex.
19:19He's cruel.
19:21He's selfish.
19:22He thinks terrible.
19:23Terrible thing.
19:26He do.
19:28Ah, ah, but he kills.
19:31I'm not capable of that.
19:33We'll soon see about that.
19:37Oh.
19:42Oh.
19:42Phew.
19:46Nice movie collection.
19:48Revenge of the mutant splat gore monster.
19:52Die screaming with sharp things in your head.
19:54Oh.
19:55Gore movies.
19:56Weapons magazines.
19:57Oh, this place is a shrine to everything that's low and base.
20:01Everything that's designed to sicken the soul and shrivel the spirit.
20:06Oh.
20:07Toasty toppers.
20:09Oh.
20:11Cinema hot dogs.
20:13Oh.
20:15Sweaty kebabs with stringy brown lettuce coming out.
20:18Oh.
20:18Look at this music.
20:20Hammond heaven.
20:21Karaoke crazy.
20:23Peter Perfect plays tuneful tunes for elderly ladies.
20:27That way.
20:28Oh, wait.
20:28Here it is.
20:30Oh.
20:30Clearly they have no idea as to its purpose.
20:33How long do we have?
20:34Barely eight minutes, sir.
20:40Have I told today how much I love thee, brother?
20:42How much my heart glimmers like a newborn star when I gaze upon my impeteous countenance.
20:48Thy love refreshes and cleanses me like a babbling mountain stream, brother.
20:57East yonder, your likeness, brother.
21:00Yes.
21:06A knife.
21:08Are you hungry, brother?
21:09I have some pulses and the little curd for your refreshment.
21:17Forgive me, brother.
21:19I appear to have stained thy knife in with my blood.
21:22That's the promise.
21:27Brother, permit me to furnish you with a fresh knife.
21:35Farewell, brother.
21:36My brook is babbled.
21:53I found Goldpool's head.
21:55No sign of Dormouse Cheeks, though.
21:56Sir, we were so worried.
21:58What happened?
21:58We were ambushed by a platoon of Lowe's.
22:00I was leading a valiant rearguard action.
22:02I found him shivering in a box.
22:04It was a tactical maneuver to outfox the enemy.
22:07As was using his uniform as a temporary latrine.
22:10So, where is Mr. Lister?
22:12We got jumped and he ran off through the storage bay like a gazelle on steroids.
22:16We'll just have to leave him.
22:17Within four minutes, this ship will no longer exist.
22:20Hey, there he is.
22:24What's up so long?
22:25Ready?
22:26What?
22:27Look out!
22:28I'm going to kill you!
22:30I'm a homicidal maniac!
22:32My body's been remote controlled by the Lowe's!
22:36Cretan, look out!
22:38You've got to stop me!
22:43Shoot him!
22:44What?
22:45Blow his kneecaps off.
22:46It's the only way.
22:47Give me a break, Rimmer.
22:48He's a homicidal maniac.
22:50Put him down!
22:51It must be some other way.
22:52You've got to incapacitate me somehow.
22:55There, Cretan.
22:55Hit him over the head with that axe.
22:56How?
22:57Kill me!
22:58Not if he does it gently.
23:01He's killing the cat.
23:02Oh, what can I do?
23:04Incapacitate me in a painless way.
23:09That was unnecessary.
23:12Unnecessary?
23:12Look what you've done to my neckline.
23:14This stuff never springs back.
23:17Oh, my God!
23:18I think I'm going for the bazookoid.
23:21Look!
23:22Left!
23:24Right!
23:25I'm trying to reload!
23:27Someone get behind me!
23:28I'm going to come around behind you now, sir.
23:30Okay, Cretan, take me by surprise!
23:31I'm coming around behind you to take you by surprise, sir.
23:34Get on with it!
23:34Surprise me!
23:35You may get an unpleasant sensation of chloroform.
23:37Don't be alarmed!
23:37Surprise me now!
23:39Here comes my surprise, sir.
23:47OK, how long before the triplicator activates?
23:50Less than two minutes.
23:58Hurry!
24:09Damn!
24:10A flat battery!
24:11Who let the lights on?
24:12No, it's the magnetic coils.
24:14They've depolarized.
24:15It's as if the decay on this ship is in some way contagious.
24:1835 seconds.
24:19Try the backup.
24:24Let's get out of here.
24:27Yep, all systems check.
24:31Well, we'll be good.
24:37Not again!
24:38It wants me a scary chloroform aim!
24:41Oh, wait!
24:41I think I've located the spinal implant.
24:47Where is it?
24:48I've lost it!
24:49It's in his neck!
24:51Oh!
25:08Holly's back!
25:10Mr. Lister!
25:11Wake up, sir!
25:11It's over!
25:12We're safe now!
25:13Engaging autopilot.
25:14Call zero, zero, mark zero.
25:16I'm taking her home.
25:23See what you did to my blue song?
25:24Look at it!
25:25Plus, you almost killed me three times!
25:26I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault.
25:29Once you get one of them things and you just go kind of...
25:32Sir, what's wrong?
25:32I think he just sat in the spinal implant.
25:35But it doesn't make sense who's controlling him.
25:42I'd better remove these spinal implants and destroy it once and for all.
25:48Wait a minute.
25:49Just give me one week.
25:50That's all I ask.
25:51What are you talking about?
25:57Boy, this is going to be fun.
26:02It's cold outside
26:04There's no kind of atmosphere
26:06I'm all alone
26:07More or less
26:09Let me fly
26:11Far away from here
26:12Fun, fun, fun
26:15It's the sun's fire
26:18I want to lie
26:21Shipwrecked to go my toes
26:23Drinking fresh mango juice
26:26Goldfish joes
26:28Grabbing out my toes
26:29Fun, fun, fun
26:32Is the sun's fire
26:35There's no kind of atmosphere
26:37Fun, fun, fun
26:39Run, fun
26:39In the sun's fire
26:52Rain,ュ mês,
26:57In the sun's fire
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