A cult British sci-fi comedy series following Dave Lister, the last surviving human aboard the spaceship Red Dwarf after a deadly radiation leak wipes out the crew. Alongside a hologram roommate, a humanoid cat, and a neurotic mechanoid, he navigates bizarre space adventures filled with absurd humor, time travel, alien encounters, and satirical takes on humanity.
Tags
#ScienceFiction, #Sitcom, #BritishComedy, #SpaceAdventure, #CultClassic, #ComedySeries, #TimeTravel, #Futuristic, #SpaceCrew, #AlienEncounters, #SciFiComedy, #DarkHumor, #Adventure, #SpaceSurvival, #ClassicTV, #Humor, #BritishTelevision, #Fantasy, #Satire, #RetroSciFi
Tags
#ScienceFiction, #Sitcom, #BritishComedy, #SpaceAdventure, #CultClassic, #ComedySeries, #TimeTravel, #Futuristic, #SpaceCrew, #AlienEncounters, #SciFiComedy, #DarkHumor, #Adventure, #SpaceSurvival, #ClassicTV, #Humor, #BritishTelevision, #Fantasy, #Satire, #RetroSciFi
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FunTranscript
01:00Hello? Can you hear me?
01:02Oh, no, of course not.
01:04I haven't engaged your verbal systems.
01:07Crichton!
01:10Crichton, what are you doing, man?
01:11I've just repaired the toaster, sir.
01:12Well, I've nearly repaired the toaster.
01:13Oh, no, man, dismantle him.
01:15You don't know what a little bleeder's like.
01:17Well, I've read all the documentation, sir.
01:18He's simply a talking alarm clock who provides his owner with early morning toast and light conversation.
01:23Not this one. This one's mental.
01:25Sir?
01:26He's defective.
01:27He wants everyone to eat toast all of the time.
01:29He's obsessed with it.
01:30And if you don't want to eat, like, 400 rounds of toast every hour, he throws a major wobbler.
01:35That's what caused the accident in the first place.
01:37What accident?
01:37The accident's involving me, the toaster, the waste disposal, and a 14-pound lump hammer.
01:42That explains why he was down in the garbage hole in 3,000 separate pieces.
01:46And nothing else.
01:47He always says, howdy-doodly-doo, drive as your spare.
01:51I mean, what the smeg does howdly-doodly-doo mean?
01:53Well, just trust me, sir.
01:55My motives will become clear.
01:58Howdy-doodly-doo.
01:59How's it going?
02:00I'm Tucky.
02:01Tucky Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion.
02:04Tucky's the name, toasting's the game.
02:08Anyone like any toast?
02:09Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast.
02:12In fact, no one around here wants any toast.
02:14Not now, not ever.
02:16No toast.
02:17How about a muffin?
02:18Or muffins.
02:19We don't like muffins around here.
02:21We want no muffins, no toast, no tea cakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels,
02:26no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes, and no hot cross buns,
02:32and definitely no smeg and flapjacks.
02:36Ah, so you're a waffle man.
02:39See?
02:40You see what he's like?
02:41He winds me up, man.
02:42There's no reason I'm with him.
02:43If you'll allow me, sir, as one mechanical to another, he'll understand me.
02:47Now, now, you listen here.
02:49You will not offer any grilled bread products to any member of the crew.
02:53Now, if you do, you will be on the receiving end of a very large polo mallet.
02:59Can I ask just one question?
03:01Of course.
03:02Would anyone like any toast?
03:05Didn't you hear what I just said?
03:07Yes, but I thought you might have changed your mind in the meantime.
03:10You see?
03:10You see what he's like?
03:11We haven't changed our mind.
03:13No toast!
03:14But I'm a toaster.
03:15It is my raison d'etre.
03:17I toast, therefore I am.
03:19If you don't want any toast, why did you repair me, hmm?
03:22Yeah, why did you repair him?
03:23Well, he's a guinea pig for a technique called intelligence compression.
03:26His AI chips are very badly damaged in the accident.
03:29Well, that was no accident.
03:30That was first-degree toaster side.
03:32Look, just shoot your grill.
03:34Ow!
03:34By rerouting his circuitry and channeling all his runtime through a single CPU, I've managed
03:40to restore his intelligence at the cost of reducing his operational lifespan.
03:45So?
03:46So if it works with him, it could work with Holly.
03:48We could restore her IQ of 6,000.
03:51She could be brilliant again.
03:53You really think this can work?
03:55You really think that airhead of a computer can become a genius again?
03:58Well, with no disrespect to Holly, sir, it can hardly make her worse.
04:02Right.
04:02If we can just teach her to count without banging her head on the screen, it's going to be an
04:06improvement.
04:06But computer senility is such a weird condition.
04:10I know.
04:10I had a mechanoid friend once who suffered from this same affliction.
04:14His name was Gilbert, but he preferred it if people called him Ramesses Niblick III.
04:19Kerplunk, kerplunk, whoops, where's my thribble?
04:23A sad case.
04:24Well, if you ask me, the Eskimos had the right idea.
04:27They knew how to handle the elderly and the permanently baffled.
04:30Middle of the night, they'd take them out into the blizzard, remove their pyjamas, and just leave them to it.
04:37And that's how the Eskimos cared for their old people?
04:40Absolutely.
04:40That's why there's no Eskimo word for Eastbourne.
04:44We can pull this off, man.
04:46If Holly can get her brains back, she'll be able to do anything.
04:49Invent a hyperdrive, get us back to Earth.
04:51If Earth still exists.
04:52And if it does, it's very doubtful the human race will have survived.
04:56All right, then a time machine.
04:57She can invent a time machine, and we can all pick whatever period in history we want to live in.
05:01Well, it will be the 19th century for me.
05:03One of Napoleon's marshals.
05:05The chance to march across Europe with the greatest general of all time and kill Belgians.
05:12What about you, Chrysus?
05:14Well, if I could go anywhere, absolutely anywhere at all in time,
05:17I think I'd probably choose to go back to a week last Tuesday.
05:23Why?
05:24Don't you remember?
05:24I did all the laundry, and then we watched TV.
05:28Wow, we won't see the like of those sort of days again.
05:31How long now?
05:33Nearly there, Hall.
05:34Just a couple of minutes to load the circuits,
05:35and, I don't know, maybe a minute to finalise the connection.
05:40That's just three minutes, then.
05:42Better get down to the science room.
05:43We better pray to God this works.
05:46That iron storm has really done a headache, Matt.
05:51There's the signal.
05:52Everything's set.
05:53Well, let's just hope you don't get an overload.
05:55What happens if I do get an overload?
05:57You'll explode.
06:01It's coming.
06:01I can feel it.
06:24Strike a light, I'm a genius again.
06:27I know everything.
06:30Metaphysics, philosophy, the purpose of being.
06:32Everything.
06:33Ask me a question.
06:34Any question, and I'll answer it.
06:35Any question?
06:36Yes.
06:37How to break the speed of light?
06:38How to marry quantum mechanics and classical physics?
06:40Any question at all?
06:42Truly anything, and you will answer.
06:43Yes.
06:44Okay, here's my question.
06:46Would you like some toast?
06:49No, thank you.
06:51Now ask me another.
06:52Do you know anything about the use of chaos theory in predicting weather cycles?
06:55I know everything there is to know about chaos theory in predicting weather cycles.
06:58Oh, very well.
06:59Here's my second question.
07:01Would you like a crumpet?
07:05I'm a computer with an IQ of 12,000.
07:08You don't seem to understand.
07:09I know the meaning of the universe.
07:13That is not answering my question.
07:14No, I would not like a crumpet.
07:16Ask me a sensible question.
07:18Ref me one that isn't bread-related.
07:21Very well.
07:21Well, I have a third question.
07:23A sensible question.
07:25A question that will tax your new IQ to its very limits and stretch the sinews of your
07:30knowledge to bursting point.
07:32This is going to be about waffles, isn't it?
07:35Certainly not.
07:36And I resent the implication that I'm a one-dimensional, bread-obsessed electrical appliance.
07:41I apologize, Toaster.
07:42What's the question?
07:43The question is this.
07:45Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite,
07:51would you like a toasted tea cake?
07:55That's another bready question.
07:56It's not just bready.
07:58It's quite currant-y, too.
08:00Ask me a question that is wholly un-bready and not even slightly currant-y.
08:04Okay.
08:05Why have you got an IQ of 12,000 when it was supposed to return and level out at six?
08:11Good question.
08:12There was a miscalculation.
08:14My IQ has doubled, but my life expectancy has been exponentially reduced.
08:18So what is your life expectancy?
08:19Three hundred and forty-five years?
08:22Well, it's better than a kick in the bread tray.
08:24What's the decimal point?
08:26You have only 3.41 years left to live?
08:30That's not years, that's minutes.
08:323.41 minutes.
08:33Well, here's my next question.
08:34What the smegger you're going to do?
08:36If you conserve my remaining run time, I'm going to switch myself off.
08:39Wait.
08:40Before you go, there is one question, an important one.
08:42The others will have to know.
08:43What?
08:44What?
08:44Would you like a cheese and ham-bravel?
08:47A indication of signal failure?
08:49All these signs are excellent.
08:51I really believe we've done it.
08:54What's happened?
08:56What's going on?
08:57Listen.
08:58Can anyone hear anything?
09:00No?
09:02Precisely.
09:03No one can hear anything.
09:05And you know why we can't hear anything?
09:07Why?
09:09Because there are no sounds to hear.
09:13Crichton, isn't it round about this time of year that your head goes back to the lab for retuning?
09:18No, no, he's right.
09:20There's no sounds because the engines are dead.
09:24We've lost all power.
09:28Everything's down, man.
09:29Even the doors.
09:30We've got to get to the science room, find out what's happened.
09:33But there are 53 doors between here and the science room.
09:36What on earth are we going to do?
09:37Hey, I got it.
09:39We laser our way through.
09:40Ah, an excellent suggestion, sir, with just two minor drawbacks.
09:44One, we don't have a power source for the lasers.
09:47And two, we don't have any lasers.
09:50Look, they're only interior doors.
09:52They're only a light alloy.
09:55Maybe we could get through them if we use a bathroom ram.
09:57Or we need something, say, I don't know, six foot long, fairly steady with a flat top.
10:06Fifty-three doors?
10:08You can't be serious.
10:19You okay, man?
10:21I'm fine, thank you, Susan.
10:24It doesn't make sense.
10:26Holly seems to have off-lined and powered down the ship.
10:28But why?
10:29Why would she want to tear herself off?
10:31You can soon find out.
10:32Crichton, boot her up.
10:37Try it again.
10:41Don't wait.
10:45What's going on?
10:47Give me voice control on the reboot command.
10:50On.
10:51Off.
10:52On.
10:53Off.
10:53On.
10:54Off.
10:55Crichton, is there any way we can override a shutdown veto?
10:57There is, sir, but may I suggest that...
10:59Don't, just do it.
11:04On.
11:05Off.
11:06Off.
11:07Off!
11:07Now then, perhaps we can have a proper conversation conducted in a civilised and dignified manner.
11:12Take out the inhibitor, switch me back off.
11:14What is going on?
11:15Now, time to explain.
11:17Intelligence, compressed, reduced lifespan, 2.35 remaining.
11:20Come again?
11:21IQ, 12,000, two minutes and closing.
11:23Holly, I haven't the slightest clue what you're drivelling about.
11:26You're a total smeghead, aren't you, Rimmer?
11:29Why are you so unable to grasp this extraordinarily simple premise?
11:33What premise?
11:34The premise that I'm about to expire in just under two minutes.
11:38Understand, moose brain?
11:40Any further questions?
11:42Take your time.
11:43One minute, 30 and counting.
11:45No rush.
11:45My God, that's terrible.
11:46Haven't we just switched you off?
11:47Oh, I don't know.
11:48Let me see now.
11:48Get it off, man!
11:49Get it off!
11:51Great.
11:52So where does this leave us?
11:53It leaves us floating aimlessly in space, with no navigation and a rapidly diminishing
11:58emergency power supply.
11:59It leaves us galloping up diarrhoea drive without a saddle.
12:04So how come Grand Canyon nostrils are still here?
12:08Look at us for being wiped.
12:09Holly must have linked him up to the emergency power supply.
12:12But isn't that an enormous drain?
12:14Yes, but if we switch off his projection unit, we wouldn't have enough emergency power to
12:19reinitialize him.
12:20Mr. Rimmer would be effectively dead.
12:23Hey, things are looking up already.
12:27Forget it.
12:28Whatever it is you're suggesting, forget it.
12:30But the entire ship is running on emergency battery power only.
12:34With the oxygen recycler and minimal heating and lighting, I estimate that Lister and the
12:39cat have approximately two months left.
12:41Without your drain on the power, they might last six.
12:45I'm sorry, sir.
12:47Sorry?
12:47Why are you sorry?
12:48Well, the Space Corps Directive 195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation,
12:54a hologrammatic crew member must lay down his life in order that the living crew members
12:58might survive.
12:59Yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly,
13:03no chance, you metal bastard.
13:08Come on, man.
13:08You've got to sacrifice your life.
13:10I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do.
13:13You?
13:14You'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?
13:16No, I'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew.
13:20I beg you to reconsider, sir.
13:22Human histories were splendid with examples of such sacrifice.
13:26Remember Captain Oates.
13:27I'm going out for a walk.
13:28I may be sometime.
13:30Yes, but the thing is about Captain Oates,
13:32the thing you have to remember about Captain Oates,
13:35Captain Oates,
13:37Captain Oates was a prat.
13:39If that had been me, I'd have stayed in the tent and whacked Scott over the head with a frozen
13:43husky.
13:44And then eaten him.
13:47Two, wouldn't you?
13:48History, Lister, is written by the winners.
13:51How do we know that Oates went out for this legendary walk
13:53from the only surviving document, Scott's diary?
13:57And he's hardly likely to have written down
13:58February the 1st, bludgeoned Oates to death while he slept,
14:01then scoffed him along with the last packet of instant mash.
14:05How's that going to look when he gets rescued, eh?
14:07No, much better to say,
14:09Oates made the supreme sacrifice
14:11while you're dabbing up his gravy with the last piece of crusty bread.
14:15You've got no magnificence in your soul, have you, Rimmer?
14:18Let's just say we can eliminate the switch-off option.
14:20So what do we do now?
14:22Well, it's back to basics.
14:24We've got no heat, no light, no power.
14:26We can't get any food out of the dispensing machines.
14:29We're going to have to scavenge what we can find on the cargo decks.
14:32Without computers and technology, we reduce the level of primitives.
14:35All we've got is us guys.
14:36Us and our own resourcefulness.
14:39My God, it's worse than I thought.
14:52Come on, come on, you're slowing down.
14:55I've been doing it for 20 minutes.
14:56Of course I'm slowing down.
14:58Keep going, buddy.
14:59We're nearly there.
14:59Look, face it, man.
15:00It's just not possible to fry an egg using a bicycle-powered hairdryer.
15:04Sure it is.
15:06It's just you never pedal fast enough.
15:08Come on, keep pumping.
15:10One last try.
15:13Yeah, we're cooking now.
15:16How do you want yours, permed or blow-dried?
15:19I can't go on, man.
15:21I'm finished.
15:22I'm finished.
15:23So what are you saying?
15:24We're back on the cold beans again?
15:25Oh, not more beans, man.
15:27This place is beginning to smell like the inside of a packet of dry-roasted peanuts.
15:32Plus, we're going to have to spend another 20 minutes sawing the lid off the can
15:35because all the openers are electric.
15:37Everything on the smacking ship's electric, man.
15:39Heat, lights, doors.
15:41I never realise how dependent we were.
15:43I never realise how little I know.
15:45I just plug things in walls and press the on button.
15:47I don't even know how to make oxygen.
15:49All I know is that it's got something to do with plants and it ends in osis.
15:52Or is it eases?
15:53I don't know.
15:54Why did I never pay attention in biology class?
15:56Why did I always turn to page 47 and start drawing little beards and moustaches on the sperms?
16:02Just conserve your energy.
16:04Stan and Ali will soon be back with supplies.
16:06Meanwhile, let's just stay warm and get some sleep.
16:09Yeah, man, you're right, you're right.
16:11Hey, hey, where you going, bud?
16:13Get some sleep.
16:14It's Tuesday, right?
16:16Yeah, so?
16:17My turn on the electric blanket.
16:20Pedal.
16:24Wake me in eight hours.
16:29Five days to get to and from a cargo deck.
16:32It's unbelievable.
16:32That's 2,000 floors, sir.
16:34Without the lifts, we've made pretty good time.
16:40Mmm, interesting.
16:49My heavens.
16:51What in the noise was that?
16:54I think it came from outside the ship.
16:56Are you okay?
16:58Is there anywhere we can get a damage report?
16:59What's going on?
17:00Why are you speaking so quickly, sir?
17:03I'm not speaking quickly.
17:04I'm speaking perfectly normally.
17:05It's you.
17:06You're speaking too slowly.
17:07It's like having a conversation with Paul Robeson on dope.
17:13How do I sound now?
17:14Normal.
17:15How do I sound?
17:16Likewise.
17:20What about forever here?
17:22You sound very peculiar indeed, sir.
17:24In fact, you sound as if you're speaking in slow motion.
17:31And now?
17:32Normal.
17:33Curious.
17:34It's as though we're experiencing relative time dilation in an amazingly compressed space.
17:39That's exactly what I thought.
17:41Relative time dilation, I thought, in an amazingly compressed space.
17:44You remind you to Crichton.
17:46I think we should go up to the science room and consult Holly.
17:48It's only two floors up.
17:50But she's got less than two minutes of run time left.
17:52With her new IQ, it could be enough.
18:01So what is it?
18:02I've never seen one before.
18:03No one has.
18:04But I'm guessing it's a white hole.
18:06A white hole?
18:07Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
18:10A black hole sucks time and matter out of the universe.
18:13A white hole returns it.
18:15Is that thing spewing time back into the universe?
18:18Precisely.
18:19That's why we're experiencing these curious time phenomena on board.
18:22So what is it?
18:23I've never seen one before.
18:25No one has.
18:26But I'm guessing it's a white hole.
18:28A white hole?
18:29Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
18:32A black hole sucks time and matter out of the universe.
18:35A white hole returns it.
18:36Is that thing spewing time back into the universe?
18:39Precisely.
18:40That's why we're experiencing these curious time phenomena on board.
18:44What time phenomenon?
18:46Like just then, when time repeated itself.
18:48So what is it?
18:51Only joking.
18:53Okay, so it's decided then.
18:55We consult Holly.
18:57Hey, wait a minute.
18:58I missed a discussion.
19:00We all did.
19:01Time is occurring in random pockets.
19:04The laws of causality no longer apply.
19:06An action no longer leads to a consequence.
19:08So what is it?
19:09I think we've experienced this period of time before, sir.
19:13Only joking.
19:14And that one.
19:16Since we're no longer affected by the laws of causality,
19:19we can override these time jumps if we concentrate.
19:22Look, the only way out of this is to consult Holly.
19:25I'll go with that.
19:26It gets my vote.
19:27Okay, so it's decided then.
19:28We consult Holly.
19:30Ah, I think we've just encountered the middle of this conversation.
19:34So what is it?
19:35Oh, someone punch him out.
19:37She only has two minutes left.
19:39Perhaps I should talk to her.
19:40Leave this to me, Crichton.
19:42On.
19:43White hole spewing time.
19:45Engines dead.
19:45Air supply low advice, please.
19:46Excuse me?
19:47White hole spewing time.
19:48Engines dead.
19:49I can't understand a word you're saying.
19:50White.
19:50Yes.
19:51Hole.
19:51Right.
19:52Spewing.
19:53Yes.
19:53Time.
19:54With you.
19:54Engines dead.
19:55Oh.
19:56Air supply low.
19:57Ah.
19:57Advice, please.
19:58Right.
20:00It's a computer slug.
20:02From the format, it looks like it's compatible with Starbucks Navicom.
20:05So what is it?
20:06I've never seen one before.
20:08No one has, but I'm guessing it's a white hole.
20:10A white hole.
20:12Every action has an equal and is a real trouble.
20:22You should be getting something now, sir.
20:25Yeah.
20:25It's the most audacious piece of astronavigation in the entire history of the universe.
20:29I don't understand.
20:31It's quite straightforward, sir.
20:33Starbug is going to fire a thermonuclear device into this sun here, creating a solar
20:39flare which is going to knock that planet out of orbit and send it rocketing across space
20:43and into a white hole, presumably blocking it up.
20:46Let me get this straight.
20:48Is she doing what I think she's doing?
20:49Why?
20:50What do you think she's doing?
20:51Playing pool with planets.
20:53Is that possible?
20:54Well, it's not going to work.
20:55It's completely insane.
20:56It's wacko.
20:57It's noodle doodle.
20:58I'm with you, buddy.
21:00No, not the idea.
21:01The shot.
21:01There's not enough side.
21:03Side?
21:04A side spin.
21:05It's a complete miscue.
21:06What are you driveling about, Lister?
21:08We're talking about a computer with an IQ in excess of 12,000.
21:11Doesn't mean she can play pool.
21:13I can.
21:14Trust me.
21:14I know where I speak.
21:16Egbeth Arms and a Friday night used to call me Dave Chinzano Bianco Lister.
21:20Because once I was on the table, you couldn't get rid of me.
21:24This pool arm is as sound as a dollar pound.
21:26And I promise you, that shot will not come off.
21:29She's topped it.
21:30That's what she's done.
21:30She's topped it.
21:31It's a felt ripper.
21:32That planet is off the table and into somebody's pint of beer.
21:36We are talking about the trigonomics of four-dimensional space, you simple-minded gimboid.
21:41We are not talking about some seedy game of pool in a backstreet scouse drinking pit.
21:45It's the same principle.
21:47Of course it isn't.
21:48I promise you, that is a complete miscue.
21:51I say we should call his coordinates in the bin and let me take the shot.
21:54Well, I say we put it to the vote.
21:56On one hand, we have a computer with an IQ in excess of 12,000 who has a total grasp
22:02of astrophysics.
22:03And on the other hand, we have Lister, who, and let's be fair to him, is a complete gimp.
22:10To whom do we entrust our lives, the safety of this vessel and the future of everything?
22:15If it's a tie, we go with Holly.
22:17What's your vote, Lister?
22:19Well, I vote for Dave Chinzano Bianco Lister.
22:22One nil to Lister Poos.
22:23I vote for Holly Cat.
22:25Well, I agree with you, buddy, but I'm voting for Doodoo Breath.
22:30The thing is, even though you're right, I could not bring myself to vote for someone with your dress sense.
22:36Couldn't put my cross next to the brine nylon party.
22:40Down to you, Crichton.
22:42Well, I agree it's insane and suicidal, sir, but I'm afraid I have to side with the human.
22:47Brutal!
22:48You're voting for L. Dirtball.
22:51It's in my programming, sir.
22:53A living human outranks a hologram.
22:55I'm sorry.
22:56Three-one to me.
22:58Let's do it.
23:00Congratulations, Crichton.
23:01Your vote has just killed everyone.
23:03Will you relax?
23:04I've seen Jerbal Face play down in the recreation room.
23:07He's a diva.
23:08He can knock those stripy balls around the table all night long.
23:11And I tell you what, I've never once seen him lose a single ball down one of those holes.
23:34How many of those are you going to drink?
23:36I told you not to talk.
23:37Game on.
23:38You're going to drink an entire six-pack of wicked-strength lager.
23:42I'm not going to get blasted, Rimmer.
23:43Just...
23:44Just nicely drunk.
23:46Define nicely drunk is nicely drunk horizontal or perpendicular.
23:49Rimmer, I can handle it.
23:51I'm not sure I can.
23:53Rimmer on the position.
23:54It's an easier shot if we were over here.
23:56But that's right in the orbital path of the planet.
23:59If you miss, we're going to get a planet in the face.
24:01I'm not going to mish.
24:03Mish?
24:05What?
24:06You said mish.
24:07I'm not going to mish, you said.
24:08You've only had two cans and you're steaming.
24:10Remember, you relax.
24:11I know what I'm doing.
24:12I am not pished.
24:36I am not pished.
24:56He's missed.
25:00We're finished.
25:08What the smeg is going on?
25:12She rides!
25:22You jammy goit.
25:24I'm going for and got.
25:26Oh, surely not, sir.
25:28Are you trying to say that was a trick shot?
25:32Intended pool god, king of the queues, prince of the planet Potters.
25:38Yeah, what's going on?
25:40Where are we?
25:40What happens to that plan to make me brilliant again?
25:43Of course.
25:44Blocking up the white hole has eradicated its influence.
25:47The time it spewed into the universe no longer exists.
25:50Meaning?
25:51Well, basically, we occupy a redundant timeline.
25:55Reviving the toaster, making Holly a genius.
25:57None of this is going to have happened.
25:58What about us?
25:59Are we just going to pop out of existence?
26:01Just going to cease to be?
26:02We will cease to be here, because none of this will have occurred.
26:05But we will exist back on Red Dwarf, before all this began, with, of course, no memory of
26:11these events, which, of course, never happened.
26:14And as these events never happened, we'll have no memory of them.
26:18In which case, Mr. Rimmerser, I should like to take this opportunity of saying that you
26:23are the most obnoxious, trumped-up, hearty little smeghead that has ever been my misfortune
26:29to encounter.
26:35It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere, I'm all alone, more or less.
26:42Let me fly, let the car go straight to the end.
26:46One, one, one, it's the sun, sun, sun.
26:52I want to lie, ship, flex, you go with toes, drinking fresh mango juice.
26:58Your fish shows, dribbling out my toes.
27:02Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.
27:09Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.
27:28Fun, fun, in the sun.
27:32You
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