Chappelle's Show changed comedy forever 😂🔥 Created by and starring Dave Chappelle, this groundbreaking sketch comedy series delivered unforgettable characters, sharp social satire, and some of the most quoted comedy moments in television history. A true comedy classic that remains influential years later.
#chappelleshow #davechappelle #comedy #sketchcomedy #comedygold #classiccomedy #funnyclips #tvseries #cultclassic #comedymoments #satire #standupcomedy #comedyshow #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #legendarycomedy #tvclassics #iconicshows #retrohumor #entertainment #comedyfans #laughoutloud #throwbacktv #dailymotion #comedylegend #funnytv #classicseries #popculture #mustwatchcomedy
#chappelleshow #davechappelle #comedy #sketchcomedy #comedygold #classiccomedy #funnyclips #tvseries #cultclassic #comedymoments #satire #standupcomedy #comedyshow #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #legendarycomedy #tvclassics #iconicshows #retrohumor #entertainment #comedyfans #laughoutloud #throwbacktv #dailymotion #comedylegend #funnytv #classicseries #popculture #mustwatchcomedy
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:01Chapelle Show, Chapelle Show, Chapelle Show, Chapelle Show, Chapelle Show, Chapelle Show.
00:06Oh!
00:08Woo-hoo-hoo!
00:10Woo-hoo-hoo!
00:12Yeah, yeah.
00:15Let's start the show.
00:21Damn!
00:23Chapelle!
00:29Good evening.
00:31Welcome back, guys. How you been?
00:33Guys, I was out last night.
00:36Had a pretty good time, and I saw that mad dash.
00:39You know the mad dash at the end of the night when guys are really scrambling to get some booty?
00:45It's like a game in the shot clock, just running out.
00:50It's like football or something.
00:51Well, if you come up under incredible odds, that means that you've had a great moment in hookup history.
00:59And I salute you.
01:01And I salute all who have had a great moment in hookup history.
01:081983, historic apple crumbies. The setting for yet another classic standoff between sworn rivals.
01:16Just the sort of standoff that creates classic hookup moments.
01:29Bobby Hutchinson had spent the night trying to rush his way to pay dirt, Gina Morris.
01:37Both prior attempts by Bobby were stuffed by the tough defensive line that Morris traveled with.
01:42Left guard Carol Dietrich and right guard Denisha Bear Bryant.
01:47A tandem that had racked up 14 cock blocks just a year earlier.
01:58With the defense momentarily sidelined, Bobby struck quickly, approaching the coveted Morris and winning her over with one of his
02:06hysterical video game references.
02:08You're giving me Pac-Man fever.
02:16With the defense returning and time running out, Bobby went into his hurry-up offense.
02:25Slowly but surely, Hutchinson wore down the defensive line with shots up the gut.
02:33With time running out, Hutchinson went for the game-winning score.
02:40Gina, why don't you just come home with me?
02:43No, we promised each other we'd all leave her together.
02:46His attempt was blocked.
02:48But Hutchinson recovered the block and exploited the defense's biggest weakness.
02:53You know, I got some pizzas at the crib.
02:56All right.
02:57Pizza.
02:59I don't want no pizza.
03:01And some weed, too.
03:04Weed?
03:05All right.
03:06Yeah.
03:07Hutchinson knew he was home free.
03:10Victory was assured.
03:14That night, Bobby and Gina had drunken sex on top of her two passed out friends, technically making it a
03:21four-way.
03:23Bobby Hutchinson, yet another great player responsible for a great moment in hookup history.
03:32Them clothes were a throwback.
03:35It looked like Turbo from Breaking.
03:38I really got into that character, too.
03:41Because after he was done shooting, I cleaned up the set.
03:44I'm serious.
03:45They wrote a camera on it.
04:09And now, folks, it's time for a segment that I like to call Real Movies, where you show the real
04:15version of what would happen in some of our favorite movies.
04:18You know, a lot of these movies get to be a little fake and phony like you see Home Alone.
04:24And Macaulay Culkin is tricking these bad guys when you know any real robber would have shot the little dude.
04:28And the first five minutes, roll credits, the end.
04:33So we like to show what would really happen in some of our favorite movies, starting tonight with The Matrix.
05:06Hello?
05:07Hello, Leo.
05:09Do you know who this is?
05:10Hello?
05:11Hello, Leo.
05:16I've been looking for you, Leo.
05:18I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you, but unfortunately, you and I have
05:23run out of time.
05:24They're coming for you, Leo, and I don't know what they're going to do.
05:28Who's coming for me?
05:30Stand up and see for yourself.
05:39Shoot me.
05:43I can guide you out of there, but you must do exactly as I say.
05:47Okay.
05:48The cubicle across from me was empty.
05:54Go. Now.
06:04Stay there.
06:14When I tell you, go to the end of the hall.
06:17Stay as low as you can.
06:18Now.
06:34There's a black man sitting at a desk directly to your right.
06:38Look at him.
06:39Morpheus?
06:41Psych!
06:43It's Earl, nigga.
06:44I need your stapler.
06:45I can't find that.
06:48Hello, dum-dum.
06:49Do you know who this is?
06:52Dude, you totally got me.
06:56Well.
07:07All right, gang, we're going to take a quick commercial break.
07:10We'll be right back with Chappelle's show.
07:22You know, folks, in the early episode, we were talking about just the entrepreneurship of all these hip-hop cats,
07:29man.
07:29These rappers got their hands in everything.
07:32So I'm home the other day, and I caught this commercial.
07:35I don't know if y'all have seen it, but this bugged me out.
07:39The most precious thing in the world is the financial security and well-being of your family.
07:45You want to send your little ones to the best schools, and in the end, know that you've left them
07:50with peace of mind.
07:52Nowadays, we all know that cash rules everything around us.
07:56Cream, get the money, dollar-dollar bill, y'all.
08:00That's why it's time to enter the 36th chamber and step to the woo.
08:05Wu-Tang Financial.
08:07At Wu-Tang Financial, we'll work with you to devise the best plan for you and your fam.
08:14I mean, Smith, Barney, bunch of bitches, old-time bots and shit.
08:18You got to know how to jack this shit.
08:20You got to play this game rough, you know what I mean?
08:21In, out, get, grab, bonk.
08:24You need to diversify your bonds, nigga.
08:27The military shit was blowing up.
08:29You're about to go to war, invest in some nuclear bombs.
08:32This ain't trading places, nigga.
08:33This is real fucking life.
08:35Protect your goddamn night, all right?
08:39Wu-Tang Financial, the place for you and your kids.
08:42All of our trusted consultants are here to meet your needs.
08:45Unfortunately, the old dirty bastard couldn't make it today, but he sent his regards.
08:49Do-do-do-do-do-do.
08:52So call us.
08:54Because at the end of the day, Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.
08:58Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.
09:01Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.
09:03Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.
09:05Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.
09:10Step to the womb.
09:11Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.
09:19Now, who could forget the timeless classic Pretty Woman?
09:24Where Julia Roberts plays a prostitute that lux up and meets a millionaire and they fall in love.
09:32Well, let's see what would happen in the real version of Pretty Woman.
09:38I worked at a couple of fast food places.
09:43Parked cars at wrestling.
09:48I couldn't pay the rent.
09:50And I was too ashamed to go home.
09:55That's when I met Kit.
09:57She was a hooker and made it sound so great.
10:02Okay.
10:04You've got to get the fuck out of here.
10:09Hey.
10:11We're going to take a quick commercial break and I promise we'll be right back with more Chappelle Show.
10:18The greatest show.
10:21Hey, gang.
10:23Hey, hey.
10:24Welcome back.
10:28You know, folks, I'm really trying to encourage dialogue amongst the diverse array of people in America.
10:34So, it's time again for Ask a Black Dude with none other than comedian Paul Mooney.
10:48Why in the movies is the black guy the first guy killed?
10:52That happy nigga that's in that movie where he heals all white people.
10:56The big black runaway.
10:58He was throughout the whole movie.
11:00He only got killed at the end.
11:02Which I hated.
11:03I hated that movie.
11:04Because I hated him and I hated everybody that wrote that movie.
11:07Black people were always worried about liking barbershop.
11:10They were worried about what they say in white films.
11:12White films go all over the world.
11:14Because I remember The Godfather.
11:15And I won't forget when they had the drug scene.
11:18And they said, well, we don't do that.
11:19Sell it to the niggas.
11:21They should have had something to say about that.
11:26Are your camera still on?
11:29Black people want to go to black dentists.
11:31Listen, do black people want to get buried by black undertakers?
11:35Undertakers.
11:37That's funny.
11:38Stephen King.
11:39He almost said nigger.
11:40I read every time.
11:42I always saw Dennis with Dennis.
11:43I wasn't into black and white.
11:44Dennis, please.
11:45They can fix the teeth?
11:46Cool.
11:47They can't.
11:47That's cool, too.
11:49That's kind of a weird question.
11:51And coming from Stephen King, that was very strange.
11:54Kind of a horror man come on and ask the question about a nigger.
11:56That was already scary.
11:58I've wrote a script for Stephen King.
12:00I have a Stephen King horror movie.
12:02Nigger with a brain.
12:03We'll see how that scares people.
12:04Niggas in school.
12:05How about that, Stephen?
12:15Sex, sex, sex.
12:17See, the thing about sex is there's good sex and there's bad sex.
12:22This next piece is a special report on some bad sex.
12:28And I mean bad like Catholic priest R. Kelly bad.
12:36And now, a new Centerville special report with Chuck Taylor.
12:39Good evening.
12:40I'm Chuck Taylor.
12:41Tonight's top story, outrage throughout the community, is yet another sex scandal involving
12:46boys and men of authority.
12:48Who is it this time, you ask?
12:50Jedi knights in a galaxy far, far away.
12:53Many of them are coming forward with allegations that the Jedi masters they studied under repeatedly
12:58sexually molested them over a number of years.
13:00And that the Jedi Council knew about it all along.
13:03In some cases, encouraging the abuse.
13:07To clarify, Jedi knights like young Luke Skywalker being sexually abused by Jedi is like Obi-Wan
13:13Kenobi.
13:15Okay, we're getting word that Council Leader Yoda is having a press conference right now
13:20at Skywalker Ranch.
13:22We go there now.
13:24A question here.
13:25Yoda.
13:25Yoda.
13:26Yoda.
13:27Yoda.
13:28Yoda, isn't it true you knew of these abuses in 1977?
13:32Know about sex with boys.
13:34Yoda did not.
13:37Tired Yoda is.
13:40Resign.
13:41He will.
13:42Yoda.
13:43Yoda.
13:44Yoda.
13:45Yoda.
13:46Yoda.
13:46Yoda.
13:47Yoda.
13:47Yoda.
13:48How do you explain the recently uncovered tape that seems to implicate you in a cover-up
13:52of Jedi boy touching?
13:55Yoda, that was not.
13:57Then who was it?
13:59Mickey Rooney, maybe?
14:02Over this interview is.
14:07Can we roll the footage of that tape in question?
14:11Well, if he didn't want it, he shouldn't have worn that fancy braid.
14:15Oh, how about it?
14:16Tell me.
14:20Transferred you are.
14:26Oh.
14:27Oh.
14:30Get down, do you?
14:31Yes, I should do.
14:38Good blow this is.
14:41Horny it makes me.
14:51Appalling Yoda's behavior was.
14:54Damn it.
14:55Now that freak has me talking like him.
14:58Okay, okay, I'm being told now that Mace Window, Yoda's replacement, is now at the podium.
15:04We go live.
15:05I would just like to say that this council will have zero tolerance for any sexual deviancy
15:11regarding our Jedi Knights.
15:13Mace, Mace, Mace.
15:16Question here.
15:16Mace, do you feel that the Jedis who committed these kind of crimes deserve to die?
15:21Yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell.
15:27Strong words from Mr. Window.
15:29News Center 3 has been covering this story for some time, and earlier today I caught it
15:33with the former Jedi Knight who first made these allegations.
15:38My master said the force was strong in me, and gave me a wine cooler.
15:48Then he made me wear a blindfold and reach into his pants to look for the force.
16:02Are you sighing, or are you just breathing normally?
16:06I don't even know anymore.
16:11Son, I know this is difficult for you, but could you show me on the doll where he touched you?
16:20Point it.
16:20Point it.
16:23Point it.
16:25Point it.
16:25Point it.
16:27Point it.
16:28Let me cut tape.
16:31Miguel, you heard the man.
16:33Cut the goddamn tape.
16:34Just cut it.
16:40I was just young and curious.
16:46We may never know what really happened, but people on the street have been reacting to
16:51this news all day.
16:53This never would have happened in the world of Star Trek, because the fleet commanders
16:56would not have allowed...
16:57You can't prove that.
17:01A simple statement of protest from an angry young geek.
17:05When we come back, gay droid marriage, should it be legalized?
17:10This queer couple says yes.
17:17We're going to take a quick commercial break.
17:19We'll be right back with more Chappelle's show.
17:22Please, don't go anywhere.
17:28Chappelle's show.
17:29Oh!
17:30Hey, guys, I want to thank you all for being with me tonight.
17:34I'd like to thank you at home for tuning in.
17:36You guys are the greatest.
17:37I'll see you next week, God willing.
17:39I'm out.
17:48Congrats, Björk!
17:50Hi, thank you.
18:21I'll be right back.
18:23Bye.
18:25Bye.
18:26Bye.
18:26Bye.
18:27Bye.
18:27Bye.
18:28Bye.
18:28You
Comments