Goodness Gracious Me brought iconic British-Asian comedy to TV with hilarious sketches, unforgettable characters, and sharp cultural satire 😂🔥 From “Going for an English” to legendary family moments, the show became a comedy classic that still feels ahead of its time. A true gem of British television and South Asian humor 🇬🇧🇮🇳
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#goodnessgraciousme #britishcomedy #asiancomedy #southasian #classiccomedy #ukcomedy #comedysketch #cultclassic #britishtv #funnyclips #comedyshow #90scomedy #satire #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #legendarycomedy #retrohumor #tvclassics #desihumor #bbccomedy #iconicshows #comedygold #nostalgiatv #britishasian #dailymotion #comedymoments #sketchcomedy #retroshows #classicbritishtv
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FunTranscript
00:25Goodness gracious me!
00:36Just four of you travelling, is it?
00:38Yes.
00:39Right, that's fine.
00:40Is there any baggage you want to check in?
00:41You just pop it on the conveyor belt for me, please.
01:02I think you're going to have to pay some excess baggage.
01:12Oh, I didn't know you were invited.
01:16I wasn't.
01:18No.
01:18You think I want to be invited to such a low-class party as this?
01:22Yes.
01:22I nearly a gatecrash to spit in the samosas.
01:28Well, they weren't expecting me either.
01:30In fact, I climbed in through the bathroom window and told everyone I was a mate of Kevin's.
01:36I've been sick in a bedroom.
01:37Me too.
01:38And I got off with someone under the courts.
01:42Still, very brave of you to show your face.
01:46Why?
01:47Oh, I just hear that your son is living with his girlfriend.
01:52I'm surprised the news is being discussed down at the dog track.
01:57Ah!
01:58So, living with a woman and not married.
02:01Funny, I don't remember anything in the Gita about that one.
02:05Very new labour, very anti-fox hunting.
02:08Hmm.
02:09Your information is incorrect, as per usual.
02:12My son is not living with his girlfriend.
02:14He's living with several girlfriends.
02:16My son is a stud.
02:21Is that so?
02:23Mm-hmm.
02:23And he's dripping with honeys.
02:27Well, of course.
02:29Honeys.
02:30My son has his fair share of skirt, too, and no mistake.
02:34Hmm.
02:34So, he talks the talk, but does he walk the walk?
02:38I don't think so.
02:39I bet he doesn't have a shag palace like myself.
02:43No, he doesn't.
02:44He doesn't need one,
02:45because he usually does the beast with two backs round at their place.
02:49So, they don't know where he lives,
02:52and he can leave before they wake up.
02:53Ooh!
02:54Wake up?
02:56My son doesn't let them go to sleep.
03:00He bounds away at them through the night,
03:03one hand breaking down their sweaty back,
03:05the other speed-dialing a cab.
03:10Ah, only one cab.
03:13Tch, tch, tch.
03:14My son requires a fleet of cabs
03:16to transport the sweaty mass of sticky bodies
03:19that nightly cling to his waterbed,
03:21like survivors from some erotic shipwreck.
03:24Well, dadi dadi.
03:26Have you heard about Sky's new television series?
03:28My son's bedroom uncovered.
03:31My son is known as the Prince of Punani.
03:36And his little black book was used by BT to compile their last phone directory.
03:42Well, according to the latest census, my son has officially slept with every single girl in the whole of Great
03:48Britain.
03:48Really?
03:49Well, how big is his Dundas?
03:51You tell me!
04:01This house, near Calcutta, India, is home to one of the greatest filmmakers of the 20th century.
04:07Rachajit Tse's work has been recognised by film academics the world over for its incisive but complex portrayal of a
04:15society in decline.
04:20But we began our conversation on a contentious note.
04:26Rachajit, your films are incredibly powerful and cerebral tour de force.
04:31Yes, they are.
04:34But how do you counter critics who claim that your films are inaccessible and even obscure?
04:41I say...
04:42No! They're not!
04:47Perhaps your most famous film is The Drafts Game.
04:51Now, you once said that this film documented the decline in post-partition India.
04:56Now, how does it do that exactly?
04:58Well, what you have to remember is that the game of drafts is symbolic.
05:03The decline in Indian society happens in the backdrop.
05:08It occurs in the background.
05:10So, it's in the subtext?
05:12No!
05:13In the background, you pagal!
05:16The two people in the background.
05:19And they represent the decline in post-partition India?
05:24Two!
05:25Clever.
05:28Right, well, how do you respond to critics who say that your use of symbolism is also obscure?
05:33Like this.
05:45Hello!
05:46Also good.
05:48Yes.
05:48How many items this time?
05:50Oh, just the two suitcases.
05:51I think you'll find they are underweight.
05:54And what about all that stuff?
05:57And luggage.
06:01I know it's really old-fashioned, but I think it's really important to get to know a girl's
06:05family and that when you're starting a relationship.
06:08Aww!
06:08That's so sweet!
06:10Yeah!
06:11That's why I'm sleeping with your sister, innit?
06:17Check, please.
06:20Mum, Dad, I'm going out with my friends.
06:22I'll see you later, alright?
06:23Okay, beta.
06:24What did you say?
06:26I'm going to hang out with my friends.
06:29Friends?
06:30Why you want to hang out with your friends when I can make them at home for nothing?
06:35Let's go stand in the corner and be sulky.
06:38Mum!
06:39I know.
06:40Let's practice gobbing.
06:43It's not the same.
06:45What?
06:45Not the same, not the same.
06:46Look.
06:46Here, I've got some alco pops.
06:49Let's drink it till we're sick and then go and steal things from your dad's shopper.
06:53I know.
06:54Let's talk like young African-Americans.
06:56Yo, homie, booyaka.
06:59Mama, this is really embarrassing.
07:02Look what I found.
07:04Your porn mag.
07:07Come on.
07:08Oh, look at the bazookas on that.
07:10Mum, will you just... just leave him alone, alright?
07:15Ewww.
07:17You're all dressed up going out with your friends too, huh?
07:21Well, I can make them at home as well.
07:22Oi, my mate fancies you.
07:25No, Mum.
07:26I'm not going out with my friends.
07:29I've come to tell you that I'm leaving home.
07:31I've found a flat and I'm moving in with my boyfriend.
07:34Are you sure, Betty?
07:36Yes, Daddy.
07:36I really need to do this.
07:38But why?
07:40Well, I need my freedom, Mum.
07:41I need to...
07:41No, no, no.
07:42Why move him with your boyfriend when I can make him at home for nothing?
07:46Oh, God.
07:46Come on.
07:47I'll sit here and I'll watch the football on telly while you go and make me my dinner.
07:51And then I'll go upstairs and piss on the toilet seat and fart in bed.
07:55What?
07:56Geoffrey's not like that.
07:57Come on, Betty, let's get you up the duff.
07:59Then I can go down the pub and use the milk tokens to buy lager and crisps.
08:04What more Geoffrey you want?
08:07Dad, can you please do something about her?
08:10Yes, I can.
08:11Come on, kids.
08:12We're all going.
08:13What?
08:13I have a mistress in a love nest in Norwich.
08:16She's Anglian.
08:17And we're going to go and stay with her.
08:19Mistress?
08:21You have a mistress?
08:24Mistress I can make at home.
08:28Come here, big boy.
08:29Oh, you don't get many of them to a pound, huh?
08:31I love you long time.
08:35Okay, kids.
08:36Get your coat.
08:37We're leaving.
08:39Okay, fine.
08:40Go.
08:42See if I care.
08:44I don't need anybody.
08:46I don't need any family.
08:48All I need are three small old veggies.
08:53Come on.
08:54I'm having a banging of an egg.
08:58In the game of drafts, one of your rare comedies, you examine the decline in post-partition India.
09:05Yes, but in a humorous way.
09:07You see, I took the pathos of Chaplin, the slapstick of Bergman, the social satire of the Chuckle Brothers.
09:22So, you see, in the foreground, you have your symbolic game of drafts, while the comedy occurs in the background.
09:31Bloody funny.
09:33Bloody funny.
09:42Big in a wig at four o'clock.
09:45Hey, isn't that Serena Mathura?
09:48Yeah.
09:48The cellulite looks familiar.
09:50Hmm.
09:52Oh, my God.
09:52Has she grown a beard?
09:54No, goddammit bullshit to hell, yeah?
09:56It's not a beard.
09:58That's a facelift that went a little too far.
10:02Ew.
10:03You think Gin Factor or what, yeah?
10:09We'll pass just for flight 297 to Zurich.
10:12Please make their way to Pauling Gates.
10:14Oh, but you!
10:18Lisa!
10:20Lisa!
10:29It's St. John and Vanessa, you frequent flyer.
10:32What are you chaps doing here?
10:34Oh, we've just seen our youngest off to finishing school in Switzerland.
10:38Ah, quite right.
10:39What is he finishing?
10:41She is finishing potty training.
10:44She's almost three.
10:45The English don't like to keep our children clinging to our apron strings, you know.
10:50Oh, quite right. That's why we sent our youngest boy off to Rodine when he was only two.
10:56Rodine? Isn't that a girl's school?
10:58Well, he got in.
11:01So, what are you fellows up to?
11:04I'm waiting for my mamma-ji and papaji to our defense.
11:08He means his mater and pater.
11:11Of course, maker-paper.
11:14Yes, we're a very close family.
11:17Dennis's parents visit at least three times a year.
11:20Well, what a queer lot you are.
11:23Who are you calling queer?
11:27No, it's just that we English are never very close to our families, are we?
11:32That's right. What could be more English than to hate your in-laws?
11:36I mean, Dad, I think that Charlotte's mother is a fat cow.
11:42Dennis's father's a right brat.
11:45Well, I would never dream of visiting Vanessa's mother.
11:47She's a pig!
11:49And she lived in that smelly, horrible little place.
11:52Actually, darling, I think she's bought a new house.
11:56No, I meant India.
11:59That's a gasping place, absolutely.
12:01So, your parents are coming to stay with you in your house.
12:05The extended family.
12:07How very ethnic.
12:10Not at all.
12:11There's nothing ethnic about it.
12:13They will be paying full rent.
12:15That is not included.
12:16Check out by 11.
12:18No petting in the shallow end.
12:20And they're all tickety-boo with that, are they?
12:23Oh, yes.
12:23Dennis's parents are as English as, um, as we are.
12:29I say, there they are.
12:33Yes, there they are.
12:35Come on, Dennis.
12:37Oh, Anita.
12:39Papa, Anita.
12:43You must be Sergita.
13:02Can I help you?
13:03Just wanted you to see your weapons of hate before I set them alight.
13:06What are you talking about?
13:08I should have known it, man.
13:10Pharmacist.
13:11Take the letters F, A and M out and what are you left with?
13:14Racist.
13:15There is no F in Pharmacist.
13:18I know.
13:20And there shouldn't be any F in Pharmacist.
13:23Why do you continue to stop crypto-imperialist skin products?
13:27Is it the Suntime Ocean again?
13:29No.
13:30And you burnt all my skin-coloured sticky plasters.
13:33The white man's skin, Judas Patel.
13:36The white man's skin.
13:37No.
13:38This is another struggle.
13:39These weapons of white supremacy.
13:41These ointments of ethnic cleansing.
13:43These anti-Asian creams.
13:46Maki.
13:47These are anti-aging creams.
13:53Ageing.
13:55Oh, right.
13:57Do you want your hammer-eye don't win or not?
13:59Yes.
14:01Fascist.
14:06Hello.
14:08How many?
14:09One.
14:09Really?
14:10Yeah.
14:17Well, we came from a very traditional community, so we've had lots of pressures throughout our
14:23marriage.
14:24What sort of pressures?
14:26Well, the hardest thing for me, well, for us, is the tradition of no sex for the first
14:33six months of marriage.
14:35Is that really a tradition?
14:40Yes.
14:44Hooray!
14:47Hi, remember us?
14:48The Delhi students?
14:49Only now we're not students anymore.
14:52We've graduated.
14:55I'm an accountant, waiting to start work in my father's business.
14:59I'm a lawyer, waiting to start work in my father's business.
15:02I'm a structural engineer, waiting to start work in my father's business.
15:07I failed all my papers.
15:10I'm going into politics.
15:14But before we all joined the rat race, we decided we wanted to put something back into
15:20society.
15:21Yes, to help those less fortunate than ourselves.
15:25So, we joined the voluntary service of India.
15:28Hooray!
15:32The first problem facing any VSI worker is deciding where to do the most good.
15:38Yes, there are a lot of countries that need help, like South America, you know, where
15:42they've got shanty towns and street urchins.
15:45And Africa, with its terrible droughts and inadequate health care.
15:49And Eastern Europe, with its crumbling infrastructure and stodgy food.
15:55There's one country that has all these problems and more.
15:58Which is why we've all come to help out here in England!
16:02Hooray!
16:08We have come here to a ramshackle clinic in the poverty-stricken village of Wolverhampton.
16:14Sadly, over the years, the government have neglected their health care.
16:18And now, for the poorest, health care is rudimentally at best.
16:21In fact, if it wasn't for places like India and Pakistan, there would be no doctors here
16:26at all.
16:29One of the tragedies of this country is that, though for most of the year it rains continuously,
16:34during the hot summer month, there are droughts and water is in short supply.
16:39So, when we saw these poor guys digging a well, we decided to roll up our sleeves and muck in.
16:47It's thirsty work, I can tell you.
16:50Are we nearly there yet?
16:51Bye.
16:53Keep digging.
17:00You know, Britain used to be famous for its green and pleasant lands.
17:05But sadly now, most of it has been bought up by big foreign companies.
17:10Yeah, that's right.
17:11They build their factories here so they can exploit the cheap labour costs.
17:17So, another way that Britain can help itself is to cash in on the eco-tourism boom which
17:23is sweeping the globe.
17:25That's right.
17:26Gordon here is a warden here.
17:29We're at one of the new game reserves, Epping Forest.
17:32Wow!
17:34He's kindly agreed to show us around.
17:36Hurry!
17:41Many of England's endangered species find a haven in this protected woodland here.
17:48That's right.
17:50Gordon here is going to show us some of the rarest.
17:52But we have to be very quiet.
17:54We don't want to startle them.
17:56What exactly should we be looking for, Gordon?
17:59Well, its Latin name is Califora vomitora.
18:04Wow!
18:05And what's that?
18:06It's a type of flower.
18:08Oh!
18:10Uh, what colour is it?
18:13It's blue.
18:17Nope!
18:18Haven't seen one yet!
18:25Come any closer and we'll hurt you.
18:30So, how's it going with Danny Desai?
18:33I hear he's got the most enormous trust fund.
18:38I don't think so, darling.
18:41You don't mean...
18:42Yeah.
18:42Tiniest credit limit I have ever seen.
18:45Do you know the other day he took me out to dinner and...
18:48His card got refused.
18:50Wow.
18:51Well, that happens to some men, apparently, when they're tired and all.
18:55Yeah, I got really confused and embarrassed and...
18:59And I did something really stupid.
19:02You didn't.
19:04Yes.
19:04I paid for my own dinner.
19:08But...
19:10After the game of drafts came a commercial departure for you.
19:15Having previously shunned use of song and dance, you decided in 1958 that it could be a powerful tool.
19:22Well, I realise that there is a long tradition of storytelling through the dance.
19:29In India, one thinks of Bharatnatyam, Kathak.
19:33In Europe, you have your classical ballets like Swan Lake, Giselle.
19:38And in America, of course, Saturday Night Fever.
19:43But John Travolta...
19:44Precisely.
19:46You see, what do you have to remember?
19:47Yeah, the two people are symbolic and in the background, post-partition society declines.
19:53But to a nice deal.
19:56What do you have to remember?
19:57What do you have to remember?
20:05What do you have to remember?
20:08What do you have to remember?
20:11What do you have to remember?
20:11What do you have to remember?
20:13What do you have to remember?
20:13What do you have to remember?
20:14What do you have to remember?
20:14What do you have to remember?
20:14What do you have to remember?
20:14What do you have to remember?
20:15What do you have to remember?
20:18What do you have to remember?
20:19What do you have to remember?
20:24What do you have to remember?
20:29Adulter literacy is a major problem here because of this country's diverse ethnic mix some people
20:35cannot even speak English. We're here at a local education center to see how we can help. Hello
20:43Can you tell me what you did today? Oh I didn't turn out really.
20:56Child labor is a major problem here as in many developing countries. Kids like little Eric here has to work
21:05very long hours in terrible conditions for very low pay. What would you really like to do Eric? I'd like
21:14to be a teacher if I could.
21:18Maybe one day he'll realize his dreams. I hope so. Do you want four hours for that? Oh yes please
21:25and two strobe meters please.
21:27And over your arm.
21:33But it's not all doom and gloom you know. That's right even in these appalling conditions the human spirit still
21:40shines through. These smiling faces are proof of that.
21:47Where's my wallet?
21:50Where's my watch?
21:52And my camera!
21:54Bosses!
21:57You know I believe that people should get to know as much about each other's little foibles before they make
22:03a long term commitment.
22:03Yeah.
22:04I quite agree.
22:06So tell me. Spit or swallow?
22:12Check please.
22:16Listen Dad. I've got something to tell you. And you're not going to like it.
22:22What is it?
22:24Good.
22:25Well Dad, I've been thinking about this a lot. And um, I've decided to become a Christian.
22:32Good.
22:35Good? I thought you'd be upset.
22:38Beta, why would I be upset at Christianity when it's Indian?
22:44No it's not Dad. Listen, um, I've accepted Jesus as my saviour.
22:50Well of course you have Beta, because he was a nice Indian boy.
22:53Not Jesus!
22:55Ha Beta, he was as Indian as they come.
22:57He worked for his father. Indian.
23:00Parents had children without having sex. Indian.
23:04Fed 5,000 people with two loaves and five fishes. Indian picnic.
23:09That's not true.
23:10Ah Beta, not just him. All people from the Bible, Indians.
23:14Rubbish.
23:15Not rubbish.
23:16Think about it, yaar.
23:17Moses, the people came unto him with their suffering.
23:21He went up the mountain and came back with two tablets.
23:24Because he was a pharmacist.
23:27Noah, came from a land where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights.
23:30He was Bengali.
23:32Walls of Jericho, walk around it seven times, blow a trumpet, the whole thing falls down.
23:36Indian builders.
23:38No!
23:39And that other fellow.
23:40Samson.
23:41Big strong man.
23:42Long hair.
23:43Cut his hair as weak as a child because he was sick.
23:46The Bible's not Indian, Dad.
23:48Read the Gospels.
23:49Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
23:52Mahmood, Malik, Lakshmi and Jaggi.
23:54Beta, Apostles, Indian.
23:56What about Judas?
23:57He betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.
24:01Well, business is business.
24:03No, Dad!
24:04I'm telling you, Beta.
24:06All people from the Bible, Indian.
24:07All except one.
24:09Which one?
24:10God, not Indian.
24:11Why not?
24:12In six days he created the heavens and the earth and everything upon it.
24:16And on the seventh day he rested.
24:18What kind of Indian doesn't work Sundays?
24:20That's it.
24:21I'm off to church.
24:22No, Beta.
24:23Sing with me.
24:23And was Jerusalem builded here?
24:27On Jalanda's brown and black.
24:29Moving on...
24:30No.
24:31No!
24:47There is a gift.
24:49Let me take you to a place where membership's a peaceful face.
24:53Rubbing chakras with the stars
24:56Where strange men take you by the hand
24:59And promise you a wonderland
25:01If you'll just remove your bra
25:05Love nirvana, drink some tea
25:09Pick a mantra
25:11There's enough for everyone
25:14Try some hypnotherapy
25:18But don't worry, I won't be your
25:22Travelers at home stars meet
25:24At a highly overpriced retreat
25:26Trying to change their western ways
25:29I cleanse their souls and make them hum
25:32I stick a hose by butt there
25:34Make sure everybody plays
25:39Love nirvana, nothing's free
25:43Mumbo jumbo, there's enough for everyone
25:47Try aromatherapy
25:50I'll rub oil into your vermiang
26:11Club nirvana join today
26:15It's good karma
26:18And it's tax deductible
26:21There are so many ways to pay
26:24Free for ladies
26:27If they touch my...
26:45Back your bags
26:47And leave your gear
26:49We've been shut down
26:51They'll charge us with indecency
26:54No money back
26:55No guarantee
26:58We've got your cash
27:00And all you got was dysentery
27:05Om...
27:09Om...
27:13Om...
27:17Om...
27:18Om...
27:18...
27:23...
27:51You know the situation.
27:53You're getting ready for a job interview, and you really want the job, but you're nervous, so you have to
27:59go to the toilet.
28:01But you don't like the way that toilet paper chafes and doesn't really get you clean.
28:07That's why I always carry this.
28:12Welcome to Science.
28:14Thanks for their ability to direct water right into the affected areas,
28:18milk bottles have been proved to be twice as effective as even the leading brand of toilet tissue.
28:23So next time you're in the toilet, stick this behind the cistern where the guests won't see it.
28:30Milk bottle.
28:32Because my arse is worth it.
28:39Look at this gracious face.
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