- 19 minutes ago
Fashion Victims
Jen is putting some old clothes up for the mall clothing donation drive, but Jonesy sees that the donated clothes were from his father and uses the donated wardrobe for himself in an attempt to act cool. He is discovered by a mysterious man who claims he is the latest teen-trend finder, and offers Jonesy a job. Jonesy gladly accepts and attempts to find hot new trends.
Jen is putting some old clothes up for the mall clothing donation drive, but Jonesy sees that the donated clothes were from his father and uses the donated wardrobe for himself in an attempt to act cool. He is discovered by a mysterious man who claims he is the latest teen-trend finder, and offers Jonesy a job. Jonesy gladly accepts and attempts to find hot new trends.
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TVTranscript
00:00Time's less!
00:14Sissy soccer cleats, don't go up front and center.
00:17I happen to like soccer.
00:19Five minute foul.
00:23Ugh, stupid coach.
00:30Hi, I'm Griffin.
00:32Jen, so what did you do to end up in the penalty box on your first day?
00:36It was probably the unsanctioned breath I took earlier.
00:40Oops, there's another.
00:42Oh, but it's so worth it for the big minimum wage bucks we make.
00:47You mean it's worth it for all the hot chicks.
00:51Oh, you mean me.
00:55I know we don't really know each other, but maybe we could hang out sometime.
01:00How's tonight?
01:01Too eager?
01:02No, no.
01:03I like a girl who knows what she wants.
01:05Pick you up at eight?
01:06Eight it is.
01:07Later!
01:09I rock, I rock, I rock, I ro-
01:12I'm still here.
01:15Ugh, can we pretend I didn't just do that?
01:18No, you definitely did it.
01:20Uh, nice moves.
01:21But we can pretend I didn't see it.
01:23That works, too.
01:28And then, even though I did a stupidly embarrassing dance, Griffin still asked me out.
01:34Sounds like a keeper.
01:36Where are you guys going?
01:36A stroll around the fake lake?
01:38Oh, maybe some nosh at that French cafe?
01:41Or a midnight make-out session under the stars?
01:45No clue.
01:46Guess my date with Griffin will be a total surprise.
01:49Got a date?
01:51At eight.
01:52That'll give you time to do something with that hair.
01:54What's wrong with my hair?
01:56Guess the guy's beyond looks.
01:58Ow!
01:59I'm going home to change.
02:00A little lipstick and mascara wouldn't hurt either.
02:07Mmm.
02:10Dude, what are you doing?
02:12You hold it in your mouth for a bit, then you swallow, dude.
02:19Ah, unlocks the flavor.
02:21Please, Jude, stop swishing.
02:23I have to pee so badly.
02:26I've got a suggestion.
02:27Go to the bathroom.
02:29And use the gross washrooms?
02:31No way.
02:32I can hold it.
02:33Have I ever told you guys how much I love water slides?
02:37Whoosh.
02:38Whoosh.
02:39Jonesy.
02:40Almost as much as I love Niagara Falls.
02:42Whoosh.
02:43Quiet.
02:43Personally, I love sprinklers.
02:51Oh, I can't hold it any longer.
02:54Hey, what do you need me for?
02:56You did this to me.
02:57I'm not going into those sickle washrooms alone.
03:01Uh, dude?
03:03Caitlyn's gone.
03:06Oops.
03:07I could haul you in for liquid littering, maggots.
03:12What's with the weird glasses, mall cop dude?
03:15They're infrared goggles.
03:17The latest in crime-fighting technology.
03:20Infrared goggles?
03:21Cool.
03:22Can they see through clothing?
03:24Huh?
03:24Goggles are not a toy street meat.
03:26They detect heat, and red is the color of guilt.
03:30Innocent people, don't sweat.
03:34Hmm.
03:39Stop!
03:39You're clearly guilty of something!
03:42Ah!
03:42I just came from the gym!
03:46Are you done yet?
03:47I have to get to work.
03:49What am I saying?
03:51Take all the time you need.
03:52Thanks for coming with me, Nikki.
03:54The moral support makes it not so gross.
03:59Oh, no!
04:00I can't wash my hands!
04:02Relax.
04:02I've got some hand sanitizer.
04:04I knew I brought you here for a reason.
04:07Bebe?
04:08Bebe!
04:09Te quiero, te necesito.
04:10Tienes que creerme.
04:12Oh, I've always wanted to date a Spanish guy.
04:15You're so lucky.
04:16Mmm, you've lost me.
04:18Jonesy is a Garcia.
04:20Oh, yeah.
04:21The only thing Spanish about Jonesy is his love of salsa.
04:24As in the condiment, not the dance.
04:26Dime lo que tengo que hacer y lo haré.
04:28Dime algo, bebe.
04:29Maybe now's your chance.
04:31Get out there and beg that Spanish hottie.
04:34You are the best washer-wing woman ever!
04:41Oh, he's so dark and mysterious.
04:45Only a hot Euro guy could pull off such tight pants.
04:50Can you imagine the guys in those?
05:02Ow!
05:06Ooh, ooh.
05:08I need to sanitize my brain.
05:10Okay, now's your chance.
05:11Go talk to him.
05:12Not yet, Nikki.
05:13First, I'm going to learn Spanish so we can speak the language of love.
05:17Wait, you're going to learn an entire language just so you can date a guy?
05:20I've already dated all the eligible English-speaking ones.
05:23True.
05:27Man, would I ever like to ask that cute blonde out.
05:31Si, you must.
05:32La vida es corta.
05:34Life is short.
05:35I'll do it.
05:36Uh, tomorrow.
05:39You're stupid, huh?
05:40Hey, I understood that.
05:43I can't wait for my Spanish language tapes to arrive.
05:47Then I can ask out my Spanish hottie.
05:49Tell me one thing Spanish people have ever done for the world.
05:53Hmm, let's see.
05:54Well, they discovered America, created some of the world's most recognized dances, and revolutionized modern art.
06:01Hello, Picasso.
06:02I said name one thing.
06:04Doesn't your dad speak Spanish?
06:06You should ask him to teach you.
06:07I already know all the Spanish I'll ever need.
06:09Oh, teach me, teach me.
06:11Repeat after me, idiota.
06:14Don't listen to Jonesy.
06:15He only knows swear words.
06:23Whoa, brah.
06:24You look sm-oken.
06:28You're one hot mama.
06:29I mean, stepsis.
06:32What?
06:32Too weird?
06:33Yep.
06:34Definitely.
06:35Affirmative, bro.
06:36You and Griffin are gonna have the best first date ever.
06:39Hi, Jen.
06:41Wow.
06:41You look amazing.
06:44Ready to go?
06:45Definitely.
06:48Griffin sure has all the right moves.
06:51That is one good-looking fellow.
06:54Too weird?
06:55Yep.
06:56Affirmative, bro.
06:57Definitely.
07:01I've been waiting all week to see Minor Movie Star.
07:04It got three popcorn tubs out of five.
07:07I hear Jessica Stinson's acting range went from flirty to flirty and bouncy.
07:13Oh, I seem to be a little short.
07:16No worries.
07:17You can pay me back.
07:20Oh, no.
07:21They're sold out.
07:23Forget the movie.
07:24I have an even better idea.
07:26You are so beautiful in this light.
07:30Remind me to thank my friend for sneaking us in.
07:33Who knew a window display could be so romantic?
07:38Plus, it's a great deal.
07:3950% off.
07:41Are you still hungry?
07:42Got any more free samples of that great soup from Soup's On?
07:46No, but can I interest you in a biscotti chunk and a coffee sample from Grimey?
07:50Thanks.
07:58My name is Caitlin.
08:01Me llamo Caitlin.
08:03But this isn't what I ordered.
08:04I am injured.
08:05Where is the nearest hospital?
08:07I didn't order this.
08:08I didn't order this.
08:17The movie was sold out, so Griffin and I spent the whole night on the porch swinging Willow and William,
08:22swinging and talking.
08:25That is so romantic.
08:27Then, Griffin got us free food samples and we had a window display picnic.
08:31He's so sweet.
08:33When are you guys going out again?
08:35Not sure.
08:36He hasn't called yet.
08:37Don't worry.
08:38He will.
08:38There's definitely a next day calling rule for great first dates.
08:42See?
08:43Told ya.
08:45Hello?
08:46Hey, Jen.
08:47I had a great time last night.
08:49Want to do it again tonight?
08:50Okay.
08:51Can't wait.
08:51Bye.
08:52Bye.
08:53Oh, no.
08:54What have I done?
08:55Uh, you agreed to go out with a guy you really like?
08:58But I don't know if I can follow up with last night's perfect date.
09:01What if the next one's a flop?
09:03I guess Jonesy and I could tag along.
09:06A little double dating action to take the pressure off?
09:09Whoa.
09:10You're the bestest.
09:12Oh, I'll take that as a yes.
09:16Hmm.
09:19Slow down, maggot.
09:20This isn't a speedway.
09:23Whoa.
09:23Oh!
09:26Oh!
09:32That's it!
09:34Stealing tacos, I see.
09:35You're coming with me, mister.
09:39Uh...
09:40Take cover!
09:46There's gotta be a mall ordinance against unlawful gas emissions.
09:50Dude, can you see farts with those things?
09:53Yes, soldier!
09:54You want the goggles!
09:56Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you can't handle the goggles!
10:01Would you like to go to the movies?
10:03Te gustaria il al cine?
10:06How about dinner?
10:08Te gustaria sinal?
10:10You must not let amor sleep away.
10:13Embrace it while you can.
10:15Hola, me llamo Caitlyn.
10:18Te gustaria il al cine?
10:24Te gustaria sinal?
10:30Disastre.
10:31What did she say?
10:32I didn't understand a word she said.
10:34Because she's Spanish!
10:36Lucky for you, so am I.
10:39I can't decide between the NFL fries or the NHL nachos.
10:43He'll have the fries.
10:45I'm not sitting through an entire movie with your heinous jalapeno breath.
10:48I'll have the World Cup Tostitos.
10:51How about you, Griffin?
10:53Uh, just water for me.
10:56I'm not hungry.
10:59I can loan you some money.
11:01Being with you is all the sustenance I need.
11:04Ha, ha, ha.
11:06Mmm.
11:11I'll just enjoy my nice, cold tomato soup.
11:19Oh, well, what's mine is yours.
11:22I'll never be able to finish.
11:26Are you gonna eat all those?
11:28I'm gonna try.
11:35I gotta have those goggles.
11:37Wherever there's gas to pass, the Fartman will be there.
11:48Mommy, sing me a lullaby.
11:53Rock-a-bye, rent a cop in his golf cart.
11:59When the fire blows, Jude's world will rock.
12:06Don't worry, mall cop dude.
12:09I'll bring them back good as new.
12:20Oh, sorry, Jen.
12:22Did you want it?
12:24It's okay.
12:25I like to leave room for movie popcorn.
12:30Oh, I gotta use the facilities.
12:32Not like I ordered anything anyway.
12:35No, you just ate all our food.
12:37Thanks for roping us into an evening with El Cheapo.
12:40Griffin's not cheap.
12:42Whatever.
12:43Let's pay and get out of here.
12:44Movie starts in ten.
12:47Okay, there are two extra loonies.
12:49Who needs bus fare?
12:50If no one else wants it.
12:55Hey, aren't you our new bus boy?
12:59Who, me?
13:01Maybe.
13:02I'm on break.
13:07How come seniors get a discount and students don't?
13:10Ah, this is a gross social injustice.
13:14You know what?
13:15Let's sneak in the back way.
13:17That'll teach them to overcharge.
13:18Sorry, but I've been waiting all week to see Karate Kaya.
13:22Yeah, I'm not in the mood to spend the night in Ron's jail cell.
13:25You're not going to let these buzz kills ruin it, are you?
13:28I feel so dangerous.
13:33No fair!
13:34We paid!
13:36Friends, don't let friends break the mall law.
13:40Now, I've got a goggle-stealing perp to smoke out.
13:47Can I walk you home?
13:48There's a full moon tonight.
13:50Home?
13:50But it's over an hour's walk.
13:52Hope you brought your walking shoes.
13:54Griffin stole our bus fare.
14:04¿Qué pasa?
14:06Could ask you the same thing.
14:07Wearing tassels makes me feel more Spanish.
14:10And these salsa shoes are surprisingly comfortable.
14:13Wish I could say the same thing about mine.
14:16Oh, yeah.
14:18Jen, what happened to your hideous feet?
14:22Griffin and I walked home from the mall last night.
14:24But that's over an hour's walk.
14:26Believe me, we know.
14:27It was all worth it.
14:29I think Griffin's...
14:30The one?
14:32The bandages you ordered, my lady?
14:35And a coffee to numb the pain.
14:37Aw, thanks, Griffin.
14:49The glue's all dried up.
14:50Maybe you should return the bandages to the pharmacy and get your money back.
14:53I could.
14:54Except I bought them a cheapo bin for a buck.
14:56Why pay retail when you can go wholesale, right, Griffin?
14:59Right you are, my man.
15:02Whoa.
15:03Lemon squishies are pricey.
15:04What drink has the most lemon for my money?
15:07Lemonade.
15:08That'll be $3.50.
15:10Uh-huh.
15:12Hey, Jen, did you bought me a fiver?
15:15Guess I'm a little short today.
15:18Here, it's on the house.
15:19Thanks, Kate.
15:20Bye, guys.
15:23I don't get it.
15:24What is Jen seeing that guy?
15:25She's going broke bankrolling his cheap butt.
15:28I saw El Cheapo eating mustard packets for breakfast.
15:31I saw him stealing toilet paper from the washroom.
15:34I saw him ingrind me putting all the leftover coffee into a mug.
15:37Then he asked the barista to nuke it.
15:39Please tell me that's not the coffee he just gave to Jen.
15:42Oh!
15:44Hola, hermosa.
15:47Did that guy just call you a hermosa?
15:49I'll kill him.
15:50Do you even know what that means?
15:53Neither do I.
15:55Jen may be dating El Cheapo, but at least she understands what her guy is saying.
16:03I'll find you, you goggle-stealing no-good!
16:08Whoa!
16:13Awesome!
16:18In Spain, we romance through the dance.
16:21You have learned muy bien.
16:22What if I trip?
16:24What if I forget the steps?
16:25Or worse, step on her toes!
16:27I will be here to coach you the entire time.
16:30See?
16:34Wow!
16:35Ouch!
16:37Sus ojos son tan grandes.
16:40Sus labios están tan echados.
16:43I can't feel my lip.
16:53Wait, dude!
16:55It's all in the name of fart forensics!
16:59Ow!
17:00Ow!
17:01Ouch!
17:02Ow!
17:03Feet bleeding on the jaw.
17:04That's dedication, Masterson.
17:07I've got a romantic date all planned.
17:09Make sure to wear comfortable shoes.
17:11Okay!
17:13Who's hungry?
17:15For free tacos?
17:16Always!
17:18What's with force-feeding us refried beans, Jude?
17:21I gotta see more infrared farts before Ron takes his goggles back.
17:25You wanna watch me fart?
17:27I don't know what to say.
17:30Sit tight, Jude.
17:32You're about to see something special.
17:35This is your idea of a romantic date?
17:38I'm a little short on cash.
17:40Ouch!
17:40Shh!
17:40They're about to start the reading.
17:42The leprechaun searched everywhere for that elusive rainbow.
17:47Ouch!
17:48Loser!
17:49Ah!
17:50I'm beginning to think you're right.
17:55A free pet store tour?
17:58Oh, those bunnies are cute.
18:02Griffin!
18:03What are you doing?
18:05That bird seed is for the parrot!
18:08Don't see the parrot's name on it.
18:16Are we waiting for something?
18:20Oh, people watching really is the best entertainment.
18:25Yeah, I'm a bit hungry.
18:26Maybe we can get something to eat?
18:28Oh, here.
18:29I brought extra for you.
18:32Thanks for the, um, date, Griffin.
18:35But I'm gonna take off.
18:36Wait, you can't leave yet?
18:37There can't possibly be anything free that we haven't already done.
18:41Uh, I need bus fare.
18:43Can I bum some till payday?
18:45Adios, el cheapo.
18:53Esta relación está terminada.
18:56Huh?
18:57Gracias por el baile, Jasper.
19:02It's like watching TV when you accidentally press the SAP button.
19:06What happened?
19:07Unfortunately, we don't speak Spanish.
19:09The dance was nice, but I need someone who understands me in English.
19:15Did you finally dump el cheapo?
19:17Was everyone calling him that?
19:20Oh, I just can't figure el cheapo out.
19:23He makes the same as me at the penalty box.
19:26Where does all his money go?
19:27Maybe he has a sick parent to support?
19:29Maybe he's really bad with his money.
19:31Or maybe el cheapo likes living off the backs of hard-working saps like you and me.
19:37Okay, hard-working saps like you.
19:39My El Sporto busboy days are over.
19:42Perhaps that's because you never went to work.
19:44A definite possibility.
19:46Uh-oh, Jude, it's time!
19:51You with the fart fetish!
19:53I want those goggles back!
19:57Wicked.
19:59That was even better than I expected, dude.
20:03Me!
20:03Me!
20:04I want a turn!
20:05I want a turn!
20:07Just...
20:07Dude!
20:09Dude!
20:10Dude!
20:11Dude!
20:11Dude!
20:12Dude!
20:12Dude!
20:17Ah!
20:18Griffin's totally loaded!
20:20Hey!
20:21I want my 75 bucks back!
20:24Bra!
20:25Come back!
20:26Jonesy's about to blow again!
20:28Any minute now.
20:33Oh, man!
20:35Oh, no!
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