- 15 hours ago
The New Jonesy
Jen starts dating a guy named Smithy (last seen in the season 2 episode "Losing Your Lemon"). The gang realizes that Smithy acts and looks just like Jonesy, but Jen doesn't believe them until she gets a closer look at Smithy. Meanwhile, Jude races his Zamboni against Ron the Rent-a-cop to see which vehicle will stay at the mall. And later on, Jonesy wears a wig that looks like Smithy's hair and then Jen accidentally kisses Jonesy for looking like Smithy.
Jen starts dating a guy named Smithy (last seen in the season 2 episode "Losing Your Lemon"). The gang realizes that Smithy acts and looks just like Jonesy, but Jen doesn't believe them until she gets a closer look at Smithy. Meanwhile, Jude races his Zamboni against Ron the Rent-a-cop to see which vehicle will stay at the mall. And later on, Jonesy wears a wig that looks like Smithy's hair and then Jen accidentally kisses Jonesy for looking like Smithy.
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TVTranscript
00:00Times Less
00:24Oh dear
00:30Whoa
00:31Easy now
00:33Easy
00:34Why is Caitlin skating like that?
00:36Beats me
00:38Not another step
00:39I spent the entire afternoon at the salon
00:42And my hair is perfection
00:44I want to enjoy it while it
00:46How bad is it?
00:53Pretty bad
00:54I think they call that the dandelion effect
00:58Nice coif
01:05Caitlin's having a hair meltdown
01:06And you're applying face cream?
01:08Not face cream
01:09Man gel
01:10Part of Huntington's new line of mail products
01:13They're launching a before and after campaign
01:15And I landed the gig as the after
01:18Natch
01:19More like the morning after
01:22What?
01:23Sorry
01:24I was just looking for Smithy
01:26Ooh
01:26Is this the new boyfriend?
01:28Uh-huh
01:29He's so cute and funny
01:30And totally crazy about me
01:32He calls me
01:35Jenner
01:38It's adorable when Smithy says it
01:40Trust me
01:41Smithy?
01:42What kind of name is Smithy?
01:44Is it a first name or a last name?
01:46Make up your mind
01:47I have no idea
01:48Jonesy
01:51There he is
01:52Smithy!
01:53Over here!
01:54Yahoo!
01:57Hey, I'm Smithy
01:58Nice to meet you
01:59Whoa!
02:00Better jet
02:01Or we'll miss the movie
02:05That was...
02:07Freaky
02:08Smithy could be
02:08Jonesy's identical twin
02:10Except with better hair
02:12You should talk
02:14Guess Jen still has feelings for me
02:16If you can't go Jonesy
02:18You gotta go Clonesy
02:25Rock hard Zamboni dude!
02:28Thanks little dude
02:29Fans like you make it all worthwhile
02:32Fans?
02:34Since when do you have fans?
02:35Jude!
02:36I think you missed a spot
02:38Thanks brah
02:39You have groupies too?
02:41Chicks can't deny
02:42The call of the Zamboni
02:44Looks like nobody can
02:51No Zamboni!
02:52You don't know your own powers
02:55It's so obvious
02:57How can Jen not see it?
02:59I know!
03:00Even this stupid lemon hat
03:01Can't tame my unmanageable hair
03:03I was talking about Smithy
03:05Right
03:05I read about this in Teen Glam
03:07It's called Mr. Replacement
03:10Jen's subconscious
03:11It just still hasn't worked through her crush on Jonesy from the 7th grade
03:14Now it's manifesting in a replacement crush
03:17So Jen does like Jonesy?
03:19Jen's brain won't let her see that Smithy looks exactly like Jonesy
03:23Not until she works through her feelings
03:25You got all that from Teen Glam
03:27Mm-hmm
03:27They branched out after the demise of the boy band
03:30What are we gonna do?
03:32We just have to jolt Jen's subconscious into communicating with her conscious again
03:35Uh-huh
03:39Luckily I'm a trained professional
03:47Dudes
03:48Say hello to my sweet bride
03:51I'm pretty sure Zambonis aren't allowed in the mall, Jude
03:55The ice needed a break from all the fans
03:58So I figured why not take Zamboni dude off-roading?
04:02Yeah, Jude, all right!
04:04See?
04:05It's my duty, nay
04:07My ice polishing obligation
04:10To give the people what they want
04:13What I want, maggot, is justice
04:16I'm giving you a citation for illegal parking of an amphibious vehicle
04:22Heavy
04:22Do you stay up late at night making these up?
04:25I'm usually in bed by ten-ish
04:27No worries, mall cop dude
04:29This should totally cover the charges
04:31You got off lucky this time, punk
04:34But I'll be watching you
04:35Whoa!
04:37Where'd you get all that cheddar?
04:38I gave a couple bras a lift and they slipped me a tip
04:42Nice
04:42Yo, soft skin
04:44Aren't you supposed to be working at Huntington's?
04:47Yeah, yeah, yeah
04:49If I help, will you cut me in for half the tips?
04:52Couldn't do it without you, bro
04:59You dragged me away from work
05:01So I could watch Smithy eat a hot dog?
05:03Shh
05:04Just pay attention
05:07Bummer
05:09Bummer
05:09So Jonesy and Smithy are both slobs, so what?
05:12How can you not see it?
05:14Jonesy and Smithy are practically clones
05:19All guys are sloppy eaters
05:22Resistance is normal
05:23Keep exposing subject to stimuli
05:26Hey, where's our stimuli?
05:39You guys are acting weirder than usual
05:41This will only take a sec, Jen
05:45Nice
05:46Whoa!
05:47Oof!
05:48Nice
05:49Whoa!
05:50Oof!
05:51That's what we've been trying to tell you
05:53Smithy and Jonesy are identical
05:56Yeah, identical pigs
05:58I can't believe my boyfriend checked out the Betty
06:00Yeah, remind me to kill Jonesy later
06:06All is quiet in sector 16
06:12That thief stole my purse
06:14What?
06:15Oh, right
06:16Don't worry, man
06:17I've got the perp in my sights
06:36Zamboni dude
06:37Zamboni dude
06:38Zamboni dude
06:39Interfering with official mall business is a major offense
06:42Your days are numbered, Zamboni dude
06:47Thank you, young man
06:50This ain't over
06:56Our intervention obviously isn't working
06:58I'm just gonna march in there
07:00And ask Jen how she feels about Jonesy
07:02Break it to her gently
07:04And don't be surprised if Jen doesn't take it well
07:07Hey, Nikki
07:08What's up?
07:10Do you...
07:11Um...
07:12How do I put this?
07:13Uh
07:14Do you have a thing for Jonesy?
07:22Well, I-I just...
07:23What I meant was...
07:33She's taking it pretty well
07:35This is it!
07:36You are not paid to laugh
07:38Get back to work!
07:39Hey, was that a chuckle?
07:40All right, I'll let it go this time.
07:42This isn't about my stupid journal entry from the seventh grade, is it?
07:46No, it's about you dating Jonesy's clone.
07:49What are you talking about?
07:51Smithy is nothing like Jonesy.
07:53He likes opera.
07:54He speaks French.
07:55He hates organized sports.
07:59But...
07:59But...
08:00No buts.
08:01This conversation is over.
08:03Told you she wouldn't take it well.
08:09And to your right is meat chunklet.
08:12It's chunky going down and coming back up.
08:19What seems to be the problem, mall cop dude?
08:23Failure to signal.
08:24Illegal dumping of ice rink ice.
08:27Ow!
08:28Ow!
08:29And overzealous use of mood music.
08:34These fines are seriously harshing our profit margin.
08:38Zamboni bylaws do not lie.
08:41There's no such thing as Zamboni bylaws.
08:43You're just jealous that Jude's better at protecting the mall than you are.
08:46Face it, you can't compete with Zamboni, dude.
08:49Oh, I can compete, son.
08:51And I can win your Zamboni against my golf cart.
08:55If you win, you are the run of them all.
08:58But if I win, you have to give up the Zamboni for good.
09:02We got a deal, maggots.
09:05Deal.
09:06I'll see you punks at 3 p.m.
09:09Shop.
09:10Hooray!
09:11Hooray!
09:17Hey, Jonesy.
09:18Is this where I apply to be the aftermodel for Huntington's new men's line?
09:22Sorry, but you're already looking at him.
09:24If you want, I can put in a good word for you as the before.
09:27Cool.
09:27I could really use the job.
09:29It's almost as if I get fired every week.
09:31It's like Jonesy's looking in a mirror.
09:34It's obvious to everyone except poor sick Jen.
09:39Jason and Joanie taking a ride on the love Zamboni.
09:48Together forever.
09:52Dude.
09:54Dude!
09:58There's like two Jonesy's.
10:02Dude, what's out?
10:03Oh!
10:05Oh!
10:06Oh!
10:07Oh!
10:08Oh!
10:11Oh!
10:12Oh!
10:13Oh!
10:14Oh!
10:17Dude!
10:19Two dudes!
10:21Before and after, twins?
10:23Great idea!
10:25You're hired!
10:27There you are.
10:28You'll never believe what Nikki just said to me.
10:33What'd you do that for?
10:35Is something wrong, Smithy?
10:36Yeah, cause I'm Jonesy!
10:41That's called a first base breakthrough.
10:45Yeah, with my boyfriend. Great.
10:54I can't believe I could... Jonesy!
11:00You're totally Jonesing for Jonesy!
11:03Once you've got it, there's no cure for Jonesy fever.
11:07How about penicillin?
11:08It's okay, Jen. We all know you used to crush on Jonesy.
11:11I also used to wet the bed. People change.
11:13I only kissed Jonesy because he was wearing that stupid wig.
11:17Why are you still wearing that thing?
11:19I have to for the Huntington's campaign.
11:21They want me and Smithy to look identical.
11:23See? Even Huntington's thinks they look alike.
11:26You're all wrong. Smithy is one of a kind.
11:30Guess who? It's Smithy.
11:32I know who it is. Hey, sweetie.
11:35Look what I have.
11:38Two tickets to the White Hot Alabino Peppers concert!
11:41Woo!
11:42Only the best for my Jenner.
11:44How thoughtful and so unlike something Jonesy would do.
11:48Hey!
11:49Think the tickets deserve a kiss?
11:56No!
11:58Is something wrong?
11:59I meant...
12:00No way I can wait for this concert!
12:03Lucas!
12:04I mean...
12:05You're the best, Smithy!
12:08Poor kid. She's really got it bad for me.
12:12Watch it, Jonesy.
12:19That's it, Jude.
12:20You need to be in top shape for this race with Ron.
12:23Be the Zamboni.
12:25Become one with the machine.
12:27What's this move called?
12:29Crouching Zamboni.
12:31Broken Mall Cop.
12:33Ron doesn't stand a chance.
12:36I'm really excited about the concert.
12:39Thanks again for the tickets.
12:40Anything for you, Jenner.
12:45Are you okay?
12:52You know what you need?
12:53A makeover.
12:54I don't know.
12:56Here, this hat is so cool.
12:57And these sunglasses.
12:59And this jacket.
13:00Make sure to do it all the way up.
13:02There.
13:02Perfect.
13:03I'm starting to think you don't like me the way I am.
13:08What gave you that idea, silly?
13:13Maybe I should go to the concert alone.
13:15I like you, Smithy.
13:16Really, I do.
13:17It's just, I'm...
13:20I'm...
13:21I'm not attracted to you anymore.
13:24Gee, thanks.
13:24No!
13:25I mean, you remind me of my brother.
13:27I mean, my step-brother.
13:29I mean...
13:29I'm not explaining this right.
13:31You've explained it just fine.
13:41My relationship with Smithy is over.
13:44Jen?
13:45Where are you?
13:47Down here.
13:48You haven't hidden from boys since Junior Cardoza threatened to cut off your ponytail in kindergarten.
13:53I know.
13:54This is so bad.
13:56Oh, come up here.
13:57You don't want to sit on that floor.
13:59It hasn't been cleaned in months.
14:01Isn't that your job?
14:02Let's focus on Jen, shall we?
14:06Mmm...
14:06Whoa!
14:07Careful!
14:08Hands off, Jen.
14:10You may have the hots for the Jones Meister, but the slab of gorgeous man meat you see before you
14:15is taken.
14:16And there goes my lunch.
14:18It's not your fault, Jen.
14:20No chick is safe from my raw animal magnetism.
14:23For Nikki's sake, I'll do my best to dial it down, but I can't promise anything.
14:27What are you talking about?
14:29I don't have...
14:29Shh!
14:30You don't need to tell me.
14:32I can feel your pain.
14:33Ow!
14:34Now you can feel your pain.
14:35Good to see heartbreak hasn't affected your aim.
14:38Jen!
14:38Oops!
14:40I...
14:40I gotta run!
14:41Jen, wait!
14:43Your stuff!
14:44I came to give Jen her stuff back.
14:47Ow!
14:47What was that?
14:48I wanted to see if you get hurt.
14:51Does Jonesy feel pain?
14:52Nope.
14:53Nothing.
14:53Maybe you have to really hurt him.
15:00Drivers, start your engines!
15:02Isn't this a girl's job?
15:06You're going down, maggot.
15:09Eat my ice chips, small cop dude!
15:14On your mark, get set, go!
15:20Go!
15:21Go!
15:21Come on, Jude!
15:22We're all counting on you!
15:29That music's really distracting.
15:32Sorry.
15:42Go!
15:43Go!
15:43Go!
15:44Go!
15:46Go!
15:47Go!
15:56Is the coast clear?
16:00Smithy isn't here, if that's what you mean.
16:02Don't you think you're taking this too far?
16:04What if you're right, Nikki?
16:05If I wasn't still hung up on Jonesy, why would I fall for a guy who looks exactly like him?
16:11Hmm.
16:11Maybe you didn't fall for Smithy because he looks like Jonesy.
16:15Maybe you fell for him in spite of it.
16:17Interesting.
16:18Keep talking.
16:19As soon as you realized Smithy looks like Jonesy, you didn't want to kiss him anymore, right?
16:24Ew!
16:25No way!
16:25And you didn't think they looked alike until Nikki pointed it out, right?
16:29Yeah, so?
16:30Maybe you have a case of the look-alikes.
16:32Much less serious than Mr. Replacement.
16:35Well, Smithy does like poetry.
16:37He even wrote me a love poem.
16:39The closest I ever got to a love poem was when Jonesy burped there once was a man from Nantucket.
16:44See?
16:45Different.
16:46What else?
16:47Smithy loves cooking.
16:49He made me my favorite pasta dinner from scratch.
16:52Jonesy ordered us his favorite pizza once.
16:54I paid for it.
16:55Smithy calls me Jenner in that most adorable way.
16:59On our last date, Jonesy called me Hey You.
17:01Are you sure you don't want Jonesy?
17:03Cause I might want to trade up.
17:05You guys are so right.
17:07I do like Smithy.
17:08Thanks, Caitlyn.
17:11A case of the look-alikes?
17:13Did you get that from Teen Glam too?
17:15Teen Pulse.
17:16Trump's Teen Glam every time.
17:18Basic magazine hierarchy.
17:20I'm learning so much.
17:24Smithy!
17:26I'm sorry, Jen.
17:28It's over.
17:29But, um, Jenner!
17:31I thought you were too, but all you've been trying to do lately is change me.
17:35Jenner loves me the way I am.
17:37We could really have something special now that I've stopped picturing kissing my brother!
17:45Go Zamboni Dude!
17:48Go Zamboni Dude!
17:49Go Zamboni Dude!
18:03Go Zamboni Dude!
18:05Go Zamboni Dude!
18:07Can I have your autograph?
18:09Sure thing, little bro!
18:12Jude!
18:13Maybe you should finish the race before you start signing autographs?
18:16Chill.
18:17I'm seriously in the lead.
18:23Uh, Jude?
18:26Uh, Jude?
18:26Not now, bro.
18:28Zamboni Dude doesn't turn his back on his awesome fans.
18:32Zamboni Dude likes to walk among the little bros and bras
18:36who dream of one day riding that big Zamboni
18:40across the rink of life.
18:43Does Zamboni Dude like to lose?
18:47Ooh!
18:51Goodbye to Zamboni Dude, maggot.
19:04Your hair looks great, Kate. No more puffball.
19:07Thanks.
19:09Still bummed about the Zamboni?
19:11Maybe it's for the best.
19:14That fame corrupt me.
19:15I forgot what Zamboni Dude was really about.
19:19The ice.
19:21Oh.
19:22Let me guess.
19:23You lost your job?
19:24Turns out nine out of ten shoppers thought Smithy's before
19:27looked better than my after.
19:29So the line tanked.
19:31Mmm.
19:31Don't worry, Jen.
19:33I'll find another job.
19:34Ugh.
19:35Like I care about that.
19:36I just got dumped.
19:38Smithy didn't even give me a second chance.
19:40He'll never find another Jenner.
19:43Mmm.
19:44Something tells me he'll be just fine.
19:46Whoa.
19:47She's a dead ringer for Jen.
19:49Really?
19:49Sorry.
19:50I just don't see it.
19:52Not like him.
19:53Yeah.
19:53Attention soldier.
19:55Report back to the ice rink at 1700 hours.
19:58You're giving me back my Zamboni?
20:01How come?
20:03An old army Zamboni injury has prevented me from fulfilling my rink duties.
20:07What army owns a Zamboni?
20:10Unless you were invading Finland?
20:11That information was supposed to be classified.
20:14All right.
20:15Zamboni dude is back.
20:18And this time, he's totally gonna shun fame and focus on the ice.
20:23Zamboni dude, can I have your autograph?
20:25No problem, brah.
20:27Grab him, guys.
20:29Hey.
20:30Just one more.
20:32Then I'll stop.
20:34Promise.
20:35Bye.
20:36Bye.
20:36Bye.
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