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  • 4 days ago
Minder S02E01 National Pelmet

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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Six to board, sir. Six to board.
00:04What are you talking? What do you want? Twenty to one?
00:06You want twenty to one? You got twenty to one.
00:10Yes.
00:11That'd be.
00:17Yeah, eight to one.
00:19Here's a special announcement for the owner and rider of number two, Lily Law.
00:23Will you make your way to the parade ring as soon as possible?
00:30Anybody who wants to buy a ticket and win the chance of winning thirty pounds, or the other prizes, you
00:37should buy them quickly, even from the sellers who are wearing special vouchers, or from the all-cocks.
00:56I don't know what I'm doing here. I could be doing that.
01:00I could be doing other things, you know.
01:01They're dogs.
01:02Acne.
01:03Dogs? Terry, this is where it's at.
01:06Your own county set.
01:08Your Mark Phillips lot.
01:09Contacts, innit?
01:11Combined business with pleasure.
01:13I've got a smashing lance here I'm trying to unload.
01:161979 log book.
01:18Only 14th hour on the clock.
01:20Not a trace of rust.
01:21Got a bomb with a chin.
01:23It's wondering, I should think.
01:24God, I smell the affluence.
01:26You don't get that at acne, dog track.
01:29No.
01:30It's done.
01:32You're standing in it.
01:42Declarations for the next race, the adjacent Hans Mayden race, close in ten minutes' time.
01:48Declarations for the next race, the adjacent Hans Mayden race, close in ten minutes' time.
01:55And the runners for the open race will shortly be leaving the parade ring.
01:58Would the public please clear the crawl?
02:00That's my one.
02:01It's got a pin on it.
02:02So?
02:03Wouldn't say no to her either, as Hans.
02:05Lily Law?
02:07You can't fancy that.
02:08Who's with a name like that?
02:10You of all people.
02:11I fancy it.
02:14No chance.
02:14No chance at all.
02:15Look at his legs.
02:16Yeah, look at his own quarters.
02:20What are you going on about his pins for?
02:21Want to stick them once on its nose, not give it one?
02:23Yeah, stick a fibre on the other grave and me.
02:26Be advised, Terry.
02:27Stand on me.
02:29Lily Law.
02:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
02:32LA.
02:33690.
02:34LA.
02:357.
02:366, being LA.
02:3820.
02:3920, you're going for it.
02:4120, LA.
02:41What is this cock, Dusty?
02:44There, we've got seven quid on spring return.
02:4628 pound for seven spring return.
02:48Ticket number 301.
02:52LA.
02:54Excuse me.
02:57There you go.
02:58Four to one.
02:59Four to one?
03:00He must have seen you coming.
03:02Some of the others added at seven to two.
03:04The horses are down at the start.
03:05Do it yourself.
03:06Couple quid, yeah.
03:07A couple quid, yeah.
03:15Right, form a line.
03:16Just there, jockeys.
03:22Now, just walk up, slowly, slowly.
03:26Slowly on the line.
03:28There, understater's orders.
03:30Stand there off for the open race.
03:31And settling down, going to the first.
03:34Lily Law goes into the lead.
03:36And at the rear, spring return has started slowly.
03:38Lily Law clear in the lead.
03:40Phone Bill, Lanthorn and Flying Station.
03:42I'm on my side.
03:42Going to the permit display.
03:44Phone Bill second and Flying Station.
03:46Four, there he is.
03:47And at the rear, spring return has refused.
03:50Spring return, a refuser.
03:51The bug has balked at the first.
03:52Lily Law goes clear, going to the second.
03:55And on the run in, it's Lily Law winning easily from Flying Stations and Phone Bill.
04:00Here is the result of the open race.
04:02The one I fancy pissed it.
04:04That's always been your problem, Terry, isn't it?
04:06What has?
04:07Dithering about, chopping and changing.
04:09What's known in the psychiatric profession is a grasshopper mind.
04:12In the good old days, you could get treatment for it.
04:15Pelmanism.
04:15If you have a fancy, a feeling in your water, stick to it.
04:19But it was you who talked me out of it.
04:21That's the point I'm trying to make, isn't it?
04:22You shouldn't have listened to me.
04:23You've got to be strong-willed in this world, Terry.
04:26Implacable, like me.
04:27Now come on, twist me arm and take me for a drink.
04:36Listen, if you're going point-to-pointing again, let me know.
04:40I'll arrange to be busy.
04:45Hang about, Terry.
04:46We may have done our bread.
04:48But maybe it's only cast on the waters.
04:51Eh?
04:52Clock the geyser in the wind in the Willows waistcoat and snap you felt that over there.
04:58That's Watson Everett.
05:00Who?
05:00Watson Everett.
05:02Stroll on.
05:03Come in, Terry.
05:04He's only one of your genuine NH trainers.
05:06He's not rubbish.
05:07Hey.
05:08I know a bloke who's got a couple of jumpers with him.
05:11The Honourable Jeremy Burnham Jones.
05:14Have you swallowed the uzu or something?
05:16What's a Jeremy Burnham Jones when it's at home?
05:19It's contact, isn't it, Terry?
05:21Only one of your bright and true blue jet set.
05:24Everly into antique commemorative pottery.
05:26I'd forgotten he was also everly into Gigi's.
05:29So what good's that going to do us?
05:31Because, Terry, as well as being everly into Gigi's,
05:34I am not entirely disassociated with antique statue wear.
05:38Since when?
05:40Subsequent to a favour, I did a geyser yesterday.
05:44Antique statue wear?
05:46You!
05:46Why not?
05:48Is there anything you're not into?
05:51Yeah, that's one of two things.
05:53Still, you never know your luck.
05:56Oh.
06:03An honest opinion.
06:04A connoisseur's assessment.
06:07Me?
06:08You?
06:09What it's worth, you mean?
06:11Yeah.
06:14All right.
06:18Well, for a start, is it nicked?
06:22Terry.
06:24It's old, isn't it?
06:25Yeah, mid-19th century, yeah.
06:27Well, it's an ornament.
06:29It's a statue.
06:31It's a geyser.
06:33I don't think Arthur Negus could have nailed it better.
06:35It's China, Terry.
06:36Is it?
06:37You ain't got slant eyes.
06:39Not Chinese China.
06:41Not bamboo shoots and prawn ball China.
06:44Staffordshire China.
06:45Oh.
06:46A fine, unrecorded Staffordshire figure holding a book and resting his elbow on a pedestal.
06:52That is how your bona fide art world auctioneer will classify it.
06:56It's Milton.
06:57Milton who?
06:59Milton.
07:00False teeth merchant.
07:01The poet Milton.
07:03Paradise lost, Paradise got back, all that.
07:05Go on, go on.
07:06Put the price on it.
07:08Yeah, but am I buying or selling?
07:11To the punter, what you are holding, Terry, is worth 80 quid.
07:1595, top whack.
07:17Is it really?
07:19Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?
07:21Handsome.
07:22Bet you wish you had 100.
07:25Too gross.
07:28God blimey.
07:30Fakes.
07:30They are 100% genuine reproductions.
07:33Well, you're holding then, aren't you, son?
07:35All you need now is some punter to get rid of them for you.
07:37That is where my friend Jeremy Burnham Jones comes in.
07:41What, the geese are from Brighton who's into pottery and horses?
07:44Contacts, Terry.
07:45That is what life is all about.
07:47I've been on a blowout to him.
07:49He does me a favour, I do him a favour in return.
07:52Oh, yeah?
07:53And what favour are you doing him?
07:57Oh, be fair, Arthur.
07:59I mean, credit where credit's due.
08:01Your average punter is not going to stand for it.
08:03Terry, your average punter is going to stand what he's told to stand for
08:07because your average punter is a monk.
08:10All right, all right.
08:11I won't argue with that.
08:12Your average punter is a monk.
08:14But he's not a bleeding lunatic, is he?
08:16How come?
08:17Look, your average punter is not going to lob out 85 or 90 sods
08:24on an antique Staffordshire statue that was manufactured by a factory full of Pakistanis
08:29round the back of Orient football ground, aren't they?
08:31Think not?
08:32No, Arthur.
08:34Highbury may be.
08:35Orient, no.
08:37Terry, I'll mark your card of your average punter for you.
08:40He goes into an antique shop, picks up a little piece of pottery.
08:43He's got a sticker on its bottom saying 350.
08:46He is astute enough to know a piece of rubbish when it's put in front of him.
08:49Vodka and tonic.
08:51No, only light ales.
08:52Two light ales, then.
08:55If, contrary-wise, the sticker says 90 nikka, he knows enough about the subject to know
09:01a bargain when it's put in front of him.
09:04Hello, hello, hello, says your Mr. Average, nice guy punter.
09:0790 nikka, this can't be rubbish.
09:09Ipso facto, we've got a result, Terence.
09:12£1.60.
09:16288 times 90 is...
09:18No, no, no, it's not all profit, Terry.
09:21They are genuine reproductions.
09:23Pakistani craftsmen, I know Pakistani craftsmen.
09:25Oh, yeah.
09:26They'd cost me six quid apiece.
09:28And there's overheads, travelling exes.
09:31Meals.
09:31Exactly.
09:33And what little I do come out on top with.
09:35I've got to split down the middle, haven't I?
09:42Jeremy Burnham Watson's going to want a cup of coffee, isn't he?
09:44Sad but true.
09:46But life isn't just material possessions, Terry.
09:49Do you know what life is really all about?
09:52Contacts.
09:53Right.
09:54Brighton is mecca for your antique tourist punter.
09:57Jeremy has friends at court.
09:58What I was thinking, what keeps going through my mind, is that while you're buzzing around
10:03all these antique merchants, what am I going to be doing?
10:08I'm not surprised they turned it in, you know.
10:11Your theatrical night, shut up, market lot.
10:13Turn what?
10:15Commuting.
10:16London to Brighton, Brighton to London.
10:18Regular as clockwork.
10:20Before it was Elbow.
10:21What was Elbow?
10:23Brighton Bell.
10:25Champagne and Kippers.
10:26They all did it.
10:27Johnny Gilgour, Ralphie Richardson, David Sexton.
10:32Every morning of the week, we had Pullman cars then.
10:36They had vintage cars and all, didn't they?
10:38London to Brighton.
10:42I mean, can you see Johnny Gilgour, Sir Johnny Gilgour, no less, with his light ale slopping
10:47around in his plastic beaker while he stuffs an individual fruit pie into his north and
10:51south?
10:52That's not on, is it, mate?
10:53What, sitting here like this, he wouldn't stand for it.
10:57See, what I keep thinking is, why do you need the heavy brigade?
11:02Heavy brigade?
11:04Yours truly.
11:05Who down there needs leaning on?
11:09Nobody.
11:10A little seaside trip for you, ain't it?
11:12Fresh air, all that.
11:13Put money on it?
11:15Much as you like, my son.
11:17You'll find you're on a loser.
11:37Yes, that was great.
11:39He worked well on the bridle over six furlongs.
11:41He'll be there in time for Plummick.
11:43Oh, he'll be all right in time for the race, all right.
11:45No fear on that score.
11:46Rankin.
11:47Yes, Governor.
11:48Make sure he's done up properly.
11:49See, he eats up.
11:50Right, I'll do that right enough.
12:18A rare 19th-century commemorative scene.
12:21Staffordshire equestrian figure you've got there, Terry.
12:24Worth a bob or two, I can tell you that.
12:26Well, more than milk.
12:27What?
12:28Your pottery equestrian's a different class to your pottery poet, ain't he?
12:31I mean, that's really kosher.
12:32You're into the ton and a half club there, I should say.
12:34Really?
12:35Let's have a look.
12:36Rather more than that, Arthur.
12:37Yes.
12:38Hello, Jeremy.
12:39How nice to see you again.
12:43So, this is the friend you were telling me about, Arthur?
12:45Yeah, Terence McCann, the Honorable Jeremy Burnham Jones.
12:51Pleased to meet you.
12:52Hello, Terence.
12:53You like the Archer?
12:56The what?
12:57Fred Archer, Mr. McCann, he rode over 2,750 winners.
13:02Six ledgers, five derbies, four oaks.
13:05The 2,000 guineas four times.
13:07The 1,000 guineas twice.
13:09Greatest there was.
13:12You haven't heard of him?
13:13No, it's not up my street.
13:14No, no, it's not his strongest subject, a history of the turf, Jeremy.
13:18Now, that, that's more like it, innit?
13:20What?
13:23Master McGrath.
13:25Winner of the Brownlow, Starry's Brick and Douglas Cups.
13:28The only dog ever to win the Waterloo three times.
13:32Hardly the sport of kings.
13:35How about queens, Jeremy?
13:40Royal Command was presented to Queen Victoria at court.
13:44Well, he will have his little joke.
13:47And all the same, one hopes that Mr. McCann will prove rather better than useless when it comes to earning
13:52his keep.
13:53I want a word with you.
13:55Yeah, of course.
13:56Outside.
13:58Don't worry, Jeremy.
14:00Underneath all that solid gold.
14:03All that glisters, Arthur.
14:04Exactly.
14:08Since when have I been on his payroll?
14:10You know, I was going to tell you, Terry, but I was just waiting for the opportune moment, you know.
14:14Right now?
14:15Yeah, well, look, as I explained to you, Jeremy is doing me a favour apropos to Milks, right?
14:20Yeah, all right, yeah.
14:21And I, in return, and by courtesy of you, am doing him a favour back.
14:26What sort of favour?
14:27No, no, don't lose your bottle.
14:28Nothing big, nothing you haven't handled before.
14:31Sort of, um, watchdogging type of thing, you know.
14:35What sort of watchdogging?
14:38Well, watch-horsing, really.
14:40I mean, to be absolutely clinical.
14:46Me, sleeping there, leaving out.
14:49But, Terry...
14:49No, no, no, it's not nice, is it?
14:51What do you mean, it's not nice?
14:54Me, keeping down with a bleeding nag.
14:56No, I'm sorry, mate, it's not on.
14:58Terry, this is the countryside.
15:00This is your great outdoors.
15:02Look, you could be sitting behind a desk in a solo club,
15:06breathing in all that ciggy smoke and all that rubbish,
15:08grappling with legless marauders from Man United's far-flung legions.
15:13Having aggro, this is Shangri-La.
15:35No, Arthur, it's not on.
15:37Oh, stone me.
15:38Even the old pals act has its limits.
15:40Yeah, but it's only for a few days, just for the off.
15:43Make sure we don't get nobbled.
15:44I'm not kipping on straw, finito.
15:47That was good enough for our saviour, Terry.
15:49But you wouldn't have to be kipping down on the straw, Patrick.
15:51We've an armchair, especially for that specific purpose.
15:54They've got an armchair.
15:55Well, that's terrific, innit?
15:56I'll tell you what, Paddy, you get your head down.
15:58Go on, be my guest.
15:59You sleep with Pelmet.
16:00I mean, Pelmet!
16:01What's wrong with Pelmet for a name?
16:03Nothing on a curtain rail.
16:05Well, listen, you, there is no way
16:07I'm going case with several hundredweight of unprocessed dogmates.
16:10That is one of the country's foremost chasers.
16:13No, Arthur.
16:15Well, if you want to, Patrick, there's always them that will.
16:18Yeah, well, you'd better get hold of them.
16:19Listen, wouldn't be the first time
16:21that a stable lass has stood guard all night lying down with a racehorse.
16:24A bird?
16:25Yeah.
16:26The mind boggles, doesn't it?
16:28I mean, what sort of scruffy scrubber have you got to get
16:30who's going to sleep with a horse in a stable, eh?
16:32Eh?
16:32Hello.
16:33I'm Jocelyn Maxwell Saunders.
16:36Oh, I'm Arthur Edward Daly.
16:38Oh, you must be the good Samaritan
16:39who's volunteered to give a watchful eye on this chap.
16:42Um, well, no, actually.
16:44No, it's, uh, it's me.
16:47Terry McCann.
16:48Oh, hello.
16:49It really is awfully kind of you.
16:51Absolutely.
16:52Any friend of Arthur?
16:53We're awfully grateful, Pel and I.
16:55Pel's his stable name.
16:57I'm riding him next week.
16:58I'm Rita.
17:00I was going to get landed with the job of spending me nights in there,
17:02so you've done me a right good favour.
17:04I've given up all hope of getting any beauty sleep.
17:07Yeah, well, your need is greater.
17:10Any road.
17:10If there's anything I can do for you,
17:12you only have to ask.
17:14No, I'll, uh, do my utmost, not to be a bother.
17:34No, I'll, uh, do my best.
18:09Oh, you're a tough, you are.
18:14God, dear old Lord.
18:17Oh, that's nice, isn't it?
18:19Oh.
18:20Oh.
18:21Oh.
18:38Don't ever do that again.
18:39I mean, why couldn't you knock?
18:40I didn't like to knock.
18:42I thought you might have had your head down.
18:43Only I fetched you a cup of cocoa.
18:46Oh, tough.
18:47Do you take sugar?
18:49No, no.
18:50Oh, I thought you would.
18:51You look as if you do.
18:53Only you've put three spoonfuls in.
18:56Well, I won't stir it then, eh?
18:59Nothing else you want?
19:02No, no.
19:03Oh.
19:05Right.
19:06Well, I'll say goodnight then, Terry.
19:09Okay.
19:11Goodnight then, Terry.
19:16Bye.
19:21Bye.
19:22Oh, no.
19:23Oh, no.
19:24Oh, no.
19:31Oh, no.
19:34Oh, no.
20:02I think you can do with that cork up your bum.
20:05Work day to day, Rita.
20:06As soon as you can.
20:07Let's have them tacked up early.
20:13Morning, Terry.
20:14Have a nice night.
20:15Terrific.
20:17Oi, Paddy.
20:18Yes, Paddy.
20:19I want to wash you my shave.
20:21Well, you're easily taken care of.
20:23There's a standpipe right behind me.
20:24Well, no hot water.
20:26No hot water.
20:27How do you shave, then?
20:28Electric razor.
20:30That's what I've got.
20:31Where'd you plug it in?
20:32I didn't plug it in.
20:33Works on a battery.
20:38Morning.
20:39Oh, morning, Josh.
20:41Morning.
20:42Morning.
20:45Any chance of a cup of tea or something?
20:47Oh, there was a cup of tea for them that was up in time for it,
20:49but, uh, there'll be nothing now till after the gallops.
20:53What, no breakfast?
21:17Morning, Miltons.
21:18Morning, Miltons.
21:19Morning, Miltons.
21:32Oh, my good God.
21:55honey what's that well don't make it obvious but if you look to your right
22:01I keep seeing something glint in those trees can't see anything
22:10no you're right it's gone probably not important
22:15no maybe not possibly kids from the village fooling around
22:20it's a bit early in the day for kids innit anyway they're always on the go aren't they
22:24always dodging about that's the third time I've seen something in the same place in the last 10
22:29minutes do you think someone's trying to novel Pell what do you think all things are possible as the
22:36poet said what poet Milton didn't think you ought to stroll up there and take a look no no no
22:43no if
22:44he sees me coming he'll just leg it somewhere else won't he he'll also know I know where he is
22:48nope
22:50always allow the enemy to believe he's two moves ahead right but always be one move ahead of him
22:55who said that certainly not Milton Wellington at Waterloo no Alexandra Deliria
23:03no Joe C Scott
23:09yeah get my rub over let him down will you
23:19hey I'll give you odds you've never done a day's work like this before
23:21hmm been a bodyguard to a gg
23:25I spent a fortnight once before Christmas being a nurse mate to a load of residents of a turkey colt
23:31they're not very much alike though I wouldn't think you know turkeys and racehorses
23:36you'd be surprised you know yeah
23:37I mean once they're boned and rolled you know sage and onion stuffing of course and lashings of thick brown
23:43gravy
23:43it's smashing
23:44hey listen you're not one of them heathens that eats horse flesh are you
23:48I get it it's a joke yeah roast racehors
23:51that's really good
23:55did you hear that huh roast racehors
23:59come on
24:02that tickled you didn't it
24:03oh my god
24:05Rita no no Rita
24:06get out you diglo get out
24:16sorry Terry
24:21god you're a terrible man
24:29right what sort of menu then
24:32uh what day is it
24:33Thursday then
24:34oh it's a Thursday already
24:35oh in that case it'll be um
24:38beef bourguignon
24:39eh
24:39beef bourguignon you see Thursday is Joss's day to put the chef's hat on
24:44now if it was Rita's day he'd be egging chips
24:46it was egg and chips yesterday wasn't it
24:47yeah
24:48yeah I must say I prefer the beef bourguignon
24:50you're supposed to like my egg and chips
24:52I've nothing against egg and chips in principle but you see beef bourguignon has got more protein
24:57have you got a minute Langton
24:59oh I'm totally committed to the washing up
25:01oh yeah it looks like it
25:02well if you finish Rita
25:04shoot across and give Joss a hand in the tap room
25:06I'm going down to the village
25:17here Paddy
25:19Patrick your honor
25:21have you seen this geezer who's creating all the fuss
25:23oh the phantom knobbler
25:25yeah I've seen somebody a time or two up in them woods
25:28is that what you think it is
25:29somebody trying to knob all the honorables Gigi
25:32well he's hardly bird watching up there
25:33and listen there's a rumor going around
25:35someone's trying to get at the horse
25:37and Jeremy would lose a few bob right
25:39if his horse was got there
25:40yeah well he loses prize money
25:42600 quid first past the post
25:44600
25:45yeah
25:45oh dear old lord
25:46I've seen more in the pontoon kitty at the Fulham Conservative Club
25:49oh yeah but there's a cut glass to canter goes with it
25:52really
25:54must be hoping to make a killing with the bookies then eh
25:56no he won't do that
25:58why not
25:58well you see he'll start off as a red hot favorite
26:01way out odds on
26:01he's not worth a bet
26:03that much of certainty
26:04yeah
26:05sure thing
26:06all he has to do is to turn up at Plummic on the day
26:08and he's as good as past the post
26:10and he'll turn up all right
26:12fit as a fiddle
26:13we've got you to see to that
26:17what'd you say this was
26:18hmm
26:20oh it's beef bourguignon
26:22it's French
26:23it's horrible
26:25huh
26:28hey that's not
26:29that's not beef bourguignon you've got there Patrick
26:31where'd you get that from
26:32got a pan over there
26:36oh that explains it
26:38explains what
26:39well you see your beef bourguignon is in the oven
26:41and what you've got there is a
26:43special diet that I was heating up for the three year old
26:47horse food
26:48well what's wrong with that
26:50I'm eating horse food
26:51listen there's nothing wrong with the food we give the horses
26:53there's nothing in there you couldn't eat yourself
26:55you sure of that
26:56sure I'm sure
26:57mix it up myself personally
26:58it's got oats and it's got bran
27:00and it's
27:03well there's just one little problem that you've got there Patrick
27:06good
27:07but see the three year old was on a diet for constipation
27:09and I put some jollop in there to
27:11give the horse the trots
27:14so if I was here I'd keep me
27:16climp cells on for the rest of the day
27:18you know what I mean
27:29you can't have out Terry
27:31if it were humanly possible you could
27:33but I have given my word to Jeremy
27:35and in his circle your word is thingy
27:37isn't it
27:37you know
27:37sacrosanct
27:39I've eaten horse food
27:41during the war we ate all sorts of things
27:43we ate whales
27:44even the odd snook
27:47no I'm not spending another night with that horse
27:49it farts
27:51we're none of us perfect Terry
27:53oh and that silly cow she's after me
27:56yeah
27:56yeah
27:57she only soaked all my clothes didn't she
27:59really
28:00oh well you seem to be getting some fringe benefits out of it all don't you
28:05I'm not certain I haven't got a little visitor either
28:08if you've got fleas you haven't got them from the horse
28:10and don't go giving them to the horse
28:12or questions they'll be asked in the house
28:15you think you've got problems
28:16you should be where I am
28:18I am where you are
28:19not of this immediate moment you nurk
28:21I mean in a hot seat
28:23wearing out shoe leather
28:24trying to knock out milts
28:27now if I'd been asked to keep in a proper stable
28:29with a derby runner or something
28:32plumwick pelmet
28:33leave me out
28:35milton
28:36brighton
28:37I thought they'd have gone a bomb with your yankee tourist punters
28:40but they're all they're all into royalty
28:43got no literary heritage they can call their own
28:47all they want is pottery kings and queens
28:51she's a pigeon fancier
28:55what the queen
28:56the pigeon fancier
28:58hard to believe really isn't it
29:00no I used to win a few fags with that in the scrubs
29:02used to carry around a clipping from titbits
29:05what a pigeon's got to do with it
29:07I'm talking about American literature before your present 20th century
29:11it's Mark Twain
29:14Moby Dick bloke
29:15Uncle Tom's cabin
29:17and what's that one about the red Indian with his short back and sides
29:20what's his name
29:22Geronimo
29:22no no no no no no
29:24all guys up though
29:26last of the Imini
29:28my organs
29:31oh she's got class
29:34yeah she has as it happens
29:36eh
29:37should see her at the gallops
29:39firm young thighs clasped against the horses flanks
29:42holding it back
29:45you didn't get that bit of purple prose out of titbits
29:50you haven't been given it one have you
29:54nah
29:54all I get from her is double blanks
29:56it's that other silly moo I'm fighting off
29:58trying to buy my body with mugs of cocoa
30:01you could travel further and fair worse Terry
30:05well she must have better manners in the kit than your four-legged friend
30:08oh leave it out Arthur
30:11oh
30:12that'll be one for your memoirs Terry
30:13you'll get a result there
30:17oh well press on
30:19I might have recourse to going back to town
30:22England
30:23yeah London yeah
30:24I've been considering the feasibility
30:25I mean the milk's not doing the hot cakes act down here
30:27I might just want to chase my contacts up west
30:30well it suits me I've had a belly full of this
30:32oh no no no not you
30:33I have given Jeremy my word that you will see this job through
30:36Arthur
30:36and I am a man of my word
30:38and you are a man of my word too
30:40anyway I'll keep in touch
30:41oh she wants you
30:43Terry
30:48Terry
30:49Terry
30:57Terry
30:58Terry
30:59Terry
30:59Terry
30:59Terry
31:02Terry
31:03Terry
31:03Terry
31:04Terry
31:06Terry
31:07Terry
31:10Terry
31:10Terry
31:16Terry
31:18Terry
31:19Terry
31:19be the cocoa queen
31:59oh
32:00oh
32:07grab that finger cap
32:11get down the bucket now
32:12move it
32:23what the hell happened
32:24i had a visitor
32:25he had a gun
32:26get a look at him
32:27do you reckon as a lunatic
32:27no
32:28oh no next time
32:32we'll all have it
33:05enjoy the race to patrick
33:07you're not going
33:09somebody has to mind the shop
33:13anyway i'm not missing much
33:16hey i'll tell you something
33:18she'll eat from the start
33:18and all the rest of the material will be the back of her bomb
33:23mr mccann
33:23yeah well
33:24tell our friend mate
33:25i'll see you
33:26look after you
33:26god bless patrick
33:28hey
33:29keep taking the horse tablets
33:34come on
33:35it's ten o'clock already
33:36i want to get in there and settle down a couple of hours before the office
33:55let him down just before you see the steward
33:57where the hell's wheat i got to
33:59come on
34:14hey up
34:15do you want to have the time on you terry
34:17yes thanks
34:19would you mind telling me i've got a watch but i haven't got it on
34:21just gone twelve
34:23it's at the menders
34:25getting mended
34:27you on your own
34:28you waiting for somebody
34:29yeah something like that
34:30haven't you got things to do
34:32joss will see her into the stable
34:33she doesn't run until the 2.15
34:36only if you are on your own
34:37i'm on me own
34:39so i'll wait for the gates to open
34:40you could buy me a drink
34:43or on the other hand i could buy you a drink
34:52sorry reet got to see a man about horse
34:54see you later
34:55be lucky
35:03never another job like that one
35:04hello young lover
35:05not playing gosbury am i
35:07open the boot
35:10look at that
35:11oh that's a bit tawdry am it
35:13stone me that's it
35:15pardon
35:16geezer who tried to bonfire me
35:42good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the stomach
35:46we hope you have an angel out of the land
35:48successful afternoon racing
35:51close to 20 the states and deep driving forces will not burn
35:55in a boat with this number three soon
35:57five
35:58five
35:58go
36:05go
36:16go
36:17go
36:17go
36:18go
36:18go
36:19go
36:19go
36:20go
36:28go
36:29go
36:33go
36:34go
36:35go
36:35go
36:36say of something. I'll have you put away
36:38again, my lad. Hold thy tongue,
36:41woman. Thou art shapen in
36:42wickedness, and in sin hath thy
36:44mother conceived thee. Build up!
36:50Is that a friend of yours? He's no friend of mine.
36:53It was round a bleeding twist. I know.
36:55I must have been off mine when I married the
36:56death-dozy sod.
36:58Generation of vipers!
37:02Who hath warned thee from the wrath
37:04to come? Shut your gob!
37:07Can't you leave me alone?
37:09Can't you let me live my life?
37:11I wouldn't care, for I've been
37:13separated from him two years.
37:14We've been divorced ten months.
37:16I knew it was you. I knew
37:18all along, and you tried to
37:20give myself. I've got a cauldron
37:22on him for molesting.
37:24You know you suffer for it in the long run.
37:26Why carry on?
37:28Let us do evil!
37:30The good may come!
37:32You're not right in the bloody head.
37:34Romans chapter three!
37:36He follows me round the country at a right good living job at a riding stables near Edden Bridge, run
37:42by a married gentleman with a son at university, a Rotarian, who never laid a finger on me, never even
37:49looked at me, and this stupid, senseless article broke three of his ribs.
37:54What do you think? What do you think you'll get for this lot? Bloody arson!
38:00You wouldn't credit this,
38:03but it was as right as rain until one Sunday morning
38:06but a couple of religious maniacs kept him talking on the doorstep.
38:12You're not...
38:13You're not right in the bloody head!
38:45You're not right in the bloody head!
38:55Well, as the man said, it takes all sorts.
38:57Very astutely put, my son.
38:59But if we're going to stand here philosophizing all afternoon, we're not going to earn our wages, are we?
39:03Come on.
39:19Number three, permit, Miss Maxwell Saunders, grey and gold.
39:27Any extras to declare?
39:29No extras.
39:30Allowance, three pounds.
39:30Gaining, three pounds.
39:35And it jumps.
39:37Let's go and get a cup of tea.
39:40Next.
39:44After the steward's inquiry, the place in to main level.
39:48And here are the two dividends for the first race.
39:52Protect them state.
39:54A win on the horse number eight, place 54 best.
39:58Place in number eight, 25 best.
40:00Number two, 14 pence.
40:03At number 13, 32 pence.
40:06For the last number eight, two, in either order, place 96 pence.
40:16The runners are now going down to the start, the second race.
40:21The first to go down is number six on your car.
40:24You know, my son, one ton.
40:25Put yourself a boat, see what you can get.
40:27A hundred?
40:28A hundred?
40:28Yeah.
40:29It's going to be no price, is it?
40:30It's bound to be odds on.
40:32A mackerel will catch a sprat then, innit?
40:34Look, I have it from the horse's mouth.
40:35It's the biggest certainty since a tortoise wallop the air.
40:37And catching a sprat's better than bugger all.
40:41Of course, you'll have.
40:43What's your last servant, Thiel?
40:45Enlarged arteries.
40:50Excuse me.
40:51Excuse me.
40:57Tenner.
40:58Pelman, 62, 62.
41:00Let's go on, then.
41:01Captain Hill.
41:0321, bar two.
41:0421, bar two.
41:05Come on, here.
41:0621, bar two.
41:07Here we are.
41:08Here you go.
41:08Yes, sunshine.
41:09A hundred quid, Pelman.
41:09A hundred and twenty, Pelman.
41:11A hundred and twenty, Pelman.
41:12Ticket, 734.
41:13734.
41:13Oh, God.
41:14Yeah, it's a nice one.
41:14See on the side, there?
41:16There, it's a nice one.
41:16Yeah, it's a nice one.
41:17There, it's a nice one.
41:19All right, don't be it, let's go.
41:21What do you like, here?
41:23All right.
41:23Don't be it.
41:24Don't be it.
41:24Don't be it.
41:24Don't be it.
41:26No, it's a nice one.
41:27Don't be it.
41:27I'll have 6-1 to 40 quid.
41:29I can't get it.
41:30All right, got it.
41:30Got it?
41:33Number 6, Judith Delight, and Joy Beard, and Dwayne, and Dwayne.
41:36to start, so they will shortly be coming under-started orders.
41:42Duh.
41:43There you go.
41:44Five to one on.
41:46Five to one on?
41:47100-20, is that the best you could get?
41:49Yes.
41:50Do it yourself.
41:51Nah, never do odds-on shots.
41:54Well, I saw I walk away with 20 quid, that can't be bad.
41:56Minus tax.
41:57Yeah.
41:59Nah, I never have done odds-ons.
42:01In any case...
42:02They'll soon be called in the line.
42:04In any case what, Terry?
42:27If come it is such a good thing, how come I saw your oppo Jeremy putting all his dough
42:32on the second favourite, Linda's lunch?
42:36Yeah, six to one.
42:37Not a bad price, that, is it?
42:39From Summerhays, Judith Delight.
43:03She's only done it again.
43:05Unseated his rider.
43:06She got off.
43:08Come on, Linda's lunch.
43:09Come on, my beauty.
43:11What you've done about?
43:14Go on, my son.
43:15Kick her on.
43:15Continuing their run for four.
43:18Linda's lunch.
43:22I never fancied that pelmet anyway.
43:25Even before I saw his wool chick putting all his loot on a second favourite.
43:28Just never fancied it.
43:30Why not?
43:31Feeling in me water.
43:33You might have told me.
43:35What for?
43:35Wouldn't have done any good, would it?
43:37You're a what's name, ain't you?
43:39Implacable.
43:42Here's another thing.
43:44Why?
43:45All that stuff you were giving me before the off.
43:47About it being the greatest racing certainty since I talked to swallow the air.
43:50What about it?
43:52Historically inaccurate, innit?
43:54Before the start of that race, the air was odds on favourite, wasn't it?
43:58Amazing.
43:59Who do you think you are?
44:00Bleed me, Sop.
44:02Oh, dear.
44:06Wait.
44:07Jeremy, you bastard.
44:09You had that race rigged.
44:11Arthur, as if I would.
44:13Jocelyn's foot slipped out of the iron, that's all.
44:16Believe me now, she took a dive I had in me bins.
44:18You might have rode me in.
44:19You did owe me a favour.
44:20I lent you Terry.
44:21Oh, I would have helped you.
44:22But one has to be discreet if one wants to keep the odds out on the second favourite.
44:27How'd you get that bird to sling it, eh?
44:28Break her arm or something.
44:30Hello, darling.
44:32Hello, darling.
44:36Dear, oh dear, Terry.
44:38What is it all about, eh?
44:41Contacts, innit?
44:44Sorry I couldn't help you push the Miltons, Arthur.
44:47Give us a ring if ever I can give you any help again.
44:50I don't know, Terry.
44:52Yeah, go on.
44:53There's a copper.
44:59No, I never had her card marked as being dodgy, I must say.
45:02And Aiton thought he was definitely bent.
45:04He was bent.
45:06Oh, yeah.
45:07Bent crooked.
45:08I thought he was bent peculiar, you know.
45:10We didn't study the form, Terry, did we?
45:12Ah.
45:13And your favourite finished well down the field, didn't he?
45:16What though the field be lost, all is not lost.
45:19The unconquerable will, the study of revenge.
45:24Er, et cetera, et cetera.
45:26Milton?
45:27The lad himself.
45:29Neil Desperandum, that's what I think he's trying to tell us, Terry.
45:32Cop that.
45:34It's a paintbrush.
45:35That is your starter for ten.
45:37This is a pot of blue paint, this is a pot of white paint.
45:39I want them all painted.
45:41Blue shirts, blue breeches, white socks, nice pair of boots.
45:44Do what?
45:46I have another contact in commemorative pottery.
45:49No, no, no, be honest.
45:50I've got a mate who's got a souvenir shop not far from Stanford Bridge.
45:53I'll stand a loss, but you'll knock them out for me as Chelsea footballers.
45:59What?
46:00They fit out.
46:01He can't do that.
46:02He's a famous antique poet.
46:04He's got a book in his hand.
46:07FAM book, innit?
46:08He's wearing a cloak.
46:10Oh, paint it.
46:11Stick a number on the back.
46:12Don't argue with me, Terry.
46:13Exercise your artistic talents.
46:15Here.
46:16You have the blue.
46:21Here's another one for you.
46:23I live in Gaza at a mill with slaves.
46:25Samson Agony Estes.
46:30I've got one for you.
46:32Oh?
46:33When the ball hit the back of the net, I was over the moon, Brian.
46:38Kevin Keegan.
46:42I think you're an inside forward, my son.
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