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Jeeves and Wooster S02E04 Chuffy
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00:00I love you
01:24You know the trouble with the trombone, Jeeze?
01:26So?
01:27After half an hour or so, one's lips get incredibly numb.
01:30Perhaps it would be wiser not to persist with the instrument, sir.
01:34Oh, nonsense, Jeeves.
01:36I'm only concerned with your health, sir.
01:39The numbness of which you speak may be a symptom of some deeper malady brought on by overexertion of the
01:45labial and maxillary muscles.
01:47My Uncle Ernest was...
01:48Oh, never mind your Uncle Ernest, Jeeves.
01:50Generations of Worcesters have soldiered on with much worse than numb lips.
01:53I'm sure that is so, sir.
02:03Mr. Manglehoffer, sir.
02:05Good morning, Mr. Wooster.
02:07Ah, good morning, Mr. Manglehoffer.
02:09Not behind me with the rent, are we?
02:11No, Mr. Wooster.
02:13But I'm sorry to say that I've had several complaints from other tenants.
02:18Complaints?
02:18What about?
02:19That, Mr. Wooster.
02:21This?
02:22Colonel Bastard in 5B keeps asking me if this is what he fought for.
02:27And Sir Everard and Lady Blennerhasset say they are driven to distraction by the infernal din.
02:34Did you say infernal din?
02:36I did.
02:38Well, let me tell you, Mr. Manglehoffer, that the man that hath no music in himself is fit for...
02:45Hang on a minute.
02:49Jeeves, what was it Shakespeare said the man that hath no music in himself was fit for?
02:54Uh, treasons, stratagems, and spoils, sir.
02:59Treasons, stratagems, and spoils.
03:02What?
03:02That's what he's fit for.
03:03The man that hath no music in himself.
03:06Mr. Wooster, I will speak plainly.
03:09Either you cease playing that instrument, or you must leave.
03:18Jeeves, unpleasantness has reared its ugly head in the West One Postal District.
03:21Indeed, sir.
03:22Also a notable lack of give and take, and a complete absence of the neighbourly spirit.
03:26Complaints, Jeeves, have been lodged about my trombone.
03:28Good heavens, sir.
03:30The ultimatum is either I chuck playing it, or leave.
03:33Very well, then.
03:34We shall be well rid of these bustards and Blennerhassets.
03:37I shall leave them without a pang.
03:40You are proposing to move, sir?
03:42It is my intention to retire to the depths of the country for the summer.
03:45There, in some old, well-sequestered nook,
03:48I shall find a cottage and resume my studies.
03:55In that case, sir, I fear I must give my notice.
04:01Jeeves, did I hear you correctly?
04:04Yes, sir.
04:06You would actually consider leaving my entourage?
04:09Only with the greatest reluctance, sir.
04:11But if it is your intention to continue with that instrument within the narrow confines of a country cottage...
04:18Jeeves, you say that instrument in an unpleasant, soupy voice.
04:22Do I take it that you dislike the trombone?
04:24Well, it has well been said, sir, that the trombone is not an instrument for a gentleman.
04:29I rue the day when you first saw Ben Bloom and his 16 Baltimore buddies at the Alhambra Theatre.
04:37I see.
04:38And you are resolved to leave if I continue to play it?
04:41Yes, sir.
04:44Well, then.
04:46Leave, dash it.
04:48Very good, sir.
04:58I know you and most of Devon, Chubby.
05:00Not for long, I hope.
05:02Chuffnell Hall is up for sale.
05:05Good Lord, Chuffy.
05:06The old homestead, but why?
05:08I'm broke, Bertie.
05:09Completely and utterly bought and sold and done for.
05:13Came up third class this morning.
05:15Good Lord.
05:16But you still own the village.
05:17Yes.
05:18Cost me a fortune.
05:20Well, then, the reason I ask, Chuffy, is that I want to take a cottage in the country somewhere.
05:24Can you let me have one?
05:25I'll give you a choice of half a dozen.
05:27Oh, that's wonderful, Chuffy.
05:28Well, we'll be able to see something of each other for a change.
05:31Too low for lunch, most days.
05:33Yeah, thanks.
05:35What has Jeeves got to say about all this?
05:37Shouldn't have thought he wanted to leave London.
05:39Jeeves has nothing to say on this or any other subject.
05:41We have parted brass rags.
05:44What?
05:45From now on, Jeeves will take the high road and I will take the other one.
05:48He had the immortal rhyme to tell me that if I didn't give up my trombone, he would resign.
05:52Well, I accepted his portfolio.
05:54Well, well, well.
05:56You can push a Worcester just so far, Chuffy.
05:58Very good, Jeeves, I said to him.
05:59I shall watch your future career with considerable interest.
06:02And that was then.
06:03Well, well, well.
06:05Good Lord, look at the time.
06:07Got to see my bank manager at four o'clock.
06:10Um, any objection to my looking in on Jeeves on the way?
06:14Just to say goodbye.
06:15No, none, whatever.
06:16Just follow the green line.
06:21It's a bad time of year for Valleys, Mr. Worcester.
06:25Really?
06:28Ah, Duxbury.
06:30Oh, no.
06:31Must be musical, you said.
06:33Mm.
06:34Duxbury left Lord Belstead's employ when his lordship got a kazoo from a Christmas cracker.
06:41The tootling was unbearable, he said.
06:44Perhaps something has come in this morning.
06:48Yes, Mr. Henberry.
06:49Mr. Worcester requires a new valet, Miss Daly.
06:52Has anything recently come in?
06:54No, Mr. Henberry, I'm sorry.
07:00There is Mr. Brinkley, of course.
07:09Mr. Worcester, you're in luck.
07:11Oh, God.
07:21I'm Brinkley, the new valet.
07:25Mr. Worcester likes to be wakened at ten with tea.
07:28Oh, I'm sure he does.
07:31Darjeeling in the morning.
07:33Oh, Gray, should he be at home in the afternoon?
07:36Oh, dear, oh, dear.
07:39Evening-wear formal, evening-wear informal tweed jackets.
07:46But enough clothes, hasn't he?
07:49Very nearly.
07:50And Mr. Worcester is most particular that they be kept pressed, clean, and mended at all times.
07:56I'm not a machine, you know.
07:58I hope he realizes that.
08:10I was just about to depart, Mr. Worcester.
08:13Oh, ah, right.
08:14Your new man is here, sir.
08:16I have been explaining his duties to him.
08:19Excellent, good.
08:20Um, all right as it is.
08:22I think you may be surprised, sir.
08:25Mr. Brinkley?
08:28Well, this is a sad day, Jeeves.
08:30Indeed it is, sir.
08:32We shall meet at Philippi, I dare say.
08:34No doubt, sir.
08:39Ah, here is your new man, sir.
08:42What-o, Brinkley?
08:43So, do you think we're going to get along together?
08:45I don't know yet.
08:48Oh, I will say goodbye now, sir.
08:50Thanks, well, uh, goodbye, Jeeves.
08:54So, Jeeves has shown you everything, has he?
08:56I told him.
08:57I'm not a machine, you know.
08:59Machine?
09:00Uh, well, no, I didn't imagine.
09:04Well, anyway, we shall be going down to Devon for a couple of weeks this afternoon.
09:08Brinkley, I hope that meets with your approval.
09:10I don't have any say, do I?
09:12Yes, yes, yes, I see what you mean.
09:14Well, let's get packed and high-ass liver, shall we?
10:42Who are you?
10:44Seabury Pongleton.
10:45My uncle says you're to come to lunch.
10:48And who is your uncle?
10:49Uncle Chuffy.
10:50Oh, Chuffy.
10:51Well, well.
10:53Shall we be lunching alone?
10:55No.
10:55There's Mother and me and some American people.
10:57Oh, well, perhaps I'd better go and put on a suit.
11:00No.
11:01What, you think I look all right?
11:02No.
11:03I think you look rotten, but there isn't time.
11:18Can you give me five shillings?
11:21What do you mean, five shillings?
11:23I mean, five shillings.
11:26Yes, but what I want to know is how we've got on to the subject.
11:30I mean, we were having a nice, quiet drive, and you suddenly go and introduce this five
11:34shillings motif.
11:35I want five shillings for protection.
11:38What?
11:40Don't get five shillings out of me.
11:59Hello, Bertie.
12:00Hello, Chuffy.
12:09I think your nephew may have gone off his rocker, Chuffy.
12:11He's been trying to touch me for five, Bob, and babbling on about protection.
12:15He's been watching gangster films.
12:17Goes around collecting protection money from everyone.
12:19I don't know what the use of today is coming to, Chuffy.
12:21Ah, well, here's his mother.
12:22My sister, Myrtle Pongleton.
12:25Myrtle, this is Bertie Worcester.
12:27Seabury's been trying to confide Bob out of it.
12:29Oh, he means well, Mr. Worcester.
12:31He only takes from each according to his means.
12:39Chuffy's found an American he thinks he can sell the hall to.
12:43He's also terribly in love with the American's beautiful daughter.
12:47Oh, never mind about that.
12:49All I've got to do is get his signature on the dotted line.
12:52And that's what this lunch is for.
12:54Soften him up.
12:54He wants to turn it into a hotel.
12:58Take millions, won't it?
12:59Well, that's what Elftaker's got.
13:02Stoker?
13:02Hello, hello, hello.
13:11What a duck!
13:13How's the matter with that Dwight?
13:16Hello, Mr. Stoker.
13:18Dwight.
13:20Mr. Stoker.
13:21You know my sister, Mrs. Pongleton.
13:24And this is my friend, Bertie Worcester.
13:28Worcester!
13:30Well, well, well.
13:31Oh, Colonel Worcester in person.
13:34Well, you know.
13:35Well, sir, this has certainly made my day, you little blob of sunshine.
13:41Isn't he looking lovely, Father?
13:42Come away from that man, Pauline.
13:45That man is bad news.
13:47Let's all go into the house, shall we?
13:49Come along, Dwight.
13:51I want you to be sea free.
13:52You're going to be such pals.
13:59This way, Mr. Stoker.
14:01Sea free!
14:02I didn't know you knew these people, Bertie.
14:05Yes, I met them in New York, just casually.
14:08I thought Pauline's manner was rather warm.
14:11Oh, really?
14:12Well, that's the American way, you know.
14:14Well, I mean, she behaved as if you were great friends.
14:17No, no, no, no.
14:18No, she goes on like that with everyone.
14:20Big-hearted, you see.
14:21Well, she does have a delightful, generous, spontaneous, impulsive sort of nature, doesn't she?
14:27Absolutely, yes.
14:28And, um, beautiful, too.
14:30Is she?
14:31Is she really?
14:32Well, I hadn't noticed, Chuffy.
14:34Do you know, I think it might be best if I didn't join the strong at the luncheon table.
14:38Got a bit of a headache.
14:39Are you sure?
14:40Well, um, I'd better go in.
14:42Right.
14:51You must have been surprised to see us, Bertie.
14:54What?
14:55Uh, oh, yes, yes.
14:57More surprised than pleased, eh?
14:58No, no, not at all, no.
15:00Well, it's obviously tickled pink to see you, old thing, but I can't deny that when it comes
15:04to seeing your father...
15:06Oh, he's convinced I'm still pining for you, you know.
15:09You don't mean that.
15:10Hmm.
15:11He thinks he's part of the young lovers and has got to exercise ceaseless vigilance to
15:15keep them from getting together again.
15:17Little knowing, you never had a happier moment in your life than when you got my letter.
15:22No, dash it, really.
15:23No, I always esteem you most highly.
15:25There's just about 200 acres, if you don't include the village.
15:29Hmm.
15:30Enough for a golf course, tennis courts, swimming pool.
15:34Oh, yes.
15:35Hmm.
15:43I've got three like this at home.
15:46Give me five shillings.
15:48Why should I give you five stupid shillings?
15:51Protection.
15:52Tell me about Marmaduke.
15:55Marmaduke?
15:55I don't think I know him.
15:56Lord Chutnall, idiot.
15:58Marmaduke.
15:59It's a beautiful name.
16:02Hello, hello, hello, hello.
16:04What do you mean?
16:06Well, no one would say that Marmaduke was a beautiful name wantonly and without good reason.
16:12All right.
16:14Less of the Sherlock stuff.
16:16I'm not trying to hide anything.
16:18Uh-huh.
16:18You love this, um, excuse me, this Marmaduke?
16:22I'm dippy about him, Bertie.
16:25Don't you just worship the way his hair sort of fluffs up at the back?
16:28My dear girl, I have better things to do than go about staring at the back of Chuffy's head.
16:33The front's bad enough.
16:35However, be prepared for tidings of great joy.
16:38I'm a pretty close observer.
16:39And a certain bulbous look in the old boy's eyes when a recent conversation happened to turn in your direction
16:45convinces me that he is deeply dippy about you, too.
16:47I know that, you chump.
16:49Do you think a girl can't tell?
16:51He's obviously crazy about me, but not a yip from him.
16:55I sometimes feel that he was a king in Babylon when I was a Christian slave.
17:00Really?
17:02Well, you know best, of course.
17:03Very doubtful, I'd have said it myself.
17:05You're a friend of his.
17:06You could give him a hint.
17:08Tell him there's no need for cold feet.
17:10It is not cold feet.
17:13It's a matter of delicacy.
17:14We may not have our code in these matters.
17:16We feel that it all beseems us to make a beeline for a girl like a man charging into a
17:20railway restaurant for a boat of soup.
17:22What nonsense!
17:24You asked me to marry you after you'd known me two weeks.
17:26Oh, but there you were dealing with one of the wild Worcesters.
17:30Yes, it reminded me of a time when...
17:31Excuse me, miss.
17:33Yes, Jeeves, what is it?
17:36Jeeves!
17:38You've come back!
17:41Yes, well, Jeeves, you acted rashly, but I shan't hold it against you.
17:45The new man, Brinkley, is not entirely satisfactory.
17:48Beg pardon, sir.
17:49I came to tell you that luncheon will shortly be served, and to say that Mr. Stoker was inquiring about
17:54Miss Stoker's whereabouts.
17:56Oh, Lord.
17:57Yes, but I'm here in the capacity of Lord Chuffnell's personal gentleman, sir.
18:04What?
18:05You mean...
18:07I...
18:07You're working for Chuffey?
18:10Yes, sir.
18:10His Lordship engaged me after you had informed him of my availability.
18:15Good Lord, Jeeves.
18:17Quick off the mark.
18:18Look, his Lordship was kind enough to say that a good man is hard to find, so...
18:22That's true, God knows.
18:24Look, I'd better push along before my father starts getting suspicious.
18:28Don't forget, Bertie, will you?
18:30A little hint in a certain person's ear?
18:32The matter shall receive my promptest attention.
18:37I don't know where that girl got to.
18:40You don't suppose she's with that Worcester, do you?
18:43Oh, Bertie?
18:44No, no, I shouldn't think so.
18:46No, he's gone.
18:47Asked me to apologise.
18:49Um, she knew him in New York, did she?
18:51Knew him?
18:52Ha!
18:53Pauline only went and got herself engaged to him.
18:56And if I ever see that degenerate hanging around her again, I will not be responsible for my actions.
19:08You'll agree with me that something must be done about the fifth baron, I take it?
19:11I beg your pardon, sir?
19:13Oh, come, come, Jeeves.
19:14You know what I mean as well as I do.
19:15He's potty about her.
19:16I am, of course, aware that his lordship is experiencing a sentiment deeper and warmer than that of ordinary friendship
19:23for the young lady, sir.
19:24Yes, and she has specifically confessed herself to being dippy about him.
19:28But she's upset the poor fish.
19:30She detects the love light in his eyes.
19:32She's all for it.
19:33What worries her is he doesn't do anything about it.
19:35A not uncommon dilemma, sir.
19:37What's it all about, James?
19:39I mean, he loves her, she loves him.
19:40So what's the snag?
19:42His lordship is a gentleman of scruples.
19:45He feels that being of straightened means himself.
19:48He has not the right to propose to a young lady as wealthy as Miss Stoker.
19:52Oh, I see.
19:54So unless old man Stoker buys the haul, poor old Chuffey will continue to be Kid Lazarus, the man without
19:59a bean.
20:00And yet why, Jeeves?
20:01I mean, plenty of bus blokes have married oofy girls before now.
20:05His lordship is a gentleman who feels strongly on this particular point, sir.
20:09Well, there's only one thing for it, Jeeves.
20:11Chuffey must be shoved over the brink.
20:14I do not quite follow you, sir.
20:16What he needs is a jolt.
20:17Have he thought that there was a grave danger of some other bloke scooping her up?
20:21Well, wouldn't that make him forget those dashed silly ideas of his and charge ahead, breathing fire through the nostrils?
20:27Jealousy is undoubtedly a powerful motivating energy, sir.
20:31Do you know what I'm going to do, Jeeves?
20:34No, sir.
20:35I'm going to kiss Miss Stoker and take care that Chuffey sees me do it.
20:39Really, sir, I could not...
20:40Please, Jeeves, I have the whole thing taped out.
20:43After lunch, I shall draw Miss Stoker aside into the seat in the shrubbery.
20:47You will then arrange for Chuffey to follow her.
20:50Waiting until I see the whites of his eyes, I shall then fold her in a close embrace.
20:54If that doesn't work, nothing will.
20:55I consider that you would be taking a decided risk, sir.
20:59His lordship is in an extremely and highly emotional state.
21:03You know, Jeeves, I desire no further discussion.
21:05At 2.30, inform Miss Stoker that I would like a word with her at the stone bench in the
21:10shrubbery.
21:10At 2.31, inform Lord Chuffey that she would like a word with him.
21:14The rest, you can leave to me.
21:17Very good, sir.
21:24And the propeller is going to take about a week to repair.
21:27So it looks like we're going to be stuck down in a little harbor down there.
21:31What a damn nuisance for you.
21:33Tell you what we'll do.
21:34Why don't you folks come on out to the Gypsy Queen and I'll show you around.
21:38Oh, your yacht.
21:40That would be very nice.
21:42I bet you've never been on a yacht before even.
21:44I have.
21:45I've been on trillions of yachts.
21:47Hey, Dwight, is that a way to behave?
21:58Give me five shillings.
21:59I won't give you five stupid shillings.
22:01Don't run, Zeevery dear.
22:03You might hurt yourself.
22:17Do you said you wanted to talk to me?
22:19Oh, well, quite.
22:21Let's sit on the bench, whole thing.
22:25Right.
22:29That fellow Jeeves.
22:31Does he come with a house?
22:32I sure would like a fellow like that to look after me.
22:35Well, you haven't agreed about the house yet.
22:37Oh, sure we have.
22:38You got yourself a deal.
22:40You're going to buy it?
22:41Absolutely.
22:45Where's Pauline?
22:48I don't know.
22:50You sure that Worcester fellow has left?
22:52Absolutely.
22:55Pardon me, your lordship, but Miss Stoker was asking for you.
22:58She's in the shrubbery.
22:59Oh, I'll go.
23:00It was Lord Chuffnell she particularly asked for.
23:04Oh, nonsense.
23:05Of course she'll want to see her old daddy.
23:09Um, dashed funny thing, love.
23:13Did you bring me all the way out here to tell me that love's a dashed funny thing?
23:17Uh, well, no.
23:19Um.
23:20What I want to know is why did that child demand ten shillings from me?
23:24Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
23:27Right, this is it.
23:34What are you doing?
23:36Bertie?
23:37Worcester!
23:40Ah!
23:41What in Hades do you think you're doing?
23:44Well...
23:45I think he's got a touch of the sun, daddy.
23:47You'll have a touch of my boot if he starts all this again.
23:51Uh, look, I can explain.
23:53Pauline, go back to the house.
23:54Uh, you come too, daddy.
23:56Let me tell you, Worcester, one more stunt like this and you'll find yourself in need of serious repair.
24:02Oh, look, obviously, I wouldn't dream of that.
24:04Enough, I say.
24:05No, all I was trying to do...
24:07Quiet!
24:08Right.
24:22So, all in all, Brinkley, not the most successful of Bertram's stratagems.
24:26How do you mean?
24:28Well, it, uh, it didn't work.
24:31Here he is now, anyway.
24:33Stoker?
24:33No, your so-called Lord Chuffnall.
24:36I'm off.
24:41Ah, Chuffy, enter old sport.
24:43Hello, Bertie.
24:47Something amiss, Chuffy?
24:51Why didn't you tell me you've been engaged to Pauline Stoker?
24:55What?
24:57Oh, now, look here, Chuffy.
24:59The whole thing didn't last more than 48 hours from kick-off to final whistle.
25:04And since then, absolutely nothing.
25:06Do you swear that?
25:07And there's nothing between you now?
25:08Nothing whatever.
25:09So, charge in, old man.
25:11The girl's absolutely potty about you.
25:13Who told you that?
25:15Well, she did.
25:17She really does love me.
25:20Passionately, I gather.
25:21Oh.
25:23Well.
25:24Well, I'm, uh, sorry if I, uh, seem a bit rattled for a moment.
25:28You see, when a chap's just about to get engaged to a gal, it's, uh, it's rather ajar to find
25:33she was engaged to someone else just a few months before.
25:36So, you've, you've proposed to her, then?
25:38Not yet, but I'm going to.
25:40Uh-huh.
25:40And what about the off situation?
25:42The what?
25:43The off, the dibs, the do-re-mi, the, the, the happy cabbage, the oil of palm.
25:47Yes, yes, I do speak English.
25:49It's all right.
25:50Stoker's agreed to buy the haul.
25:52Really?
25:53Oh, well, Chuffy, that is good news.
26:08I'm going to pop the question tomorrow.
26:10We've been invited out to the yacht.
26:12Wonderful.
26:12Well, Chuffy, I hope you'll be very, very happy.
26:15I can honestly say that Pauline is one of the nicest girls I've ever been engaged to.
26:19I wish you'd stop harping on about that engagement.
26:21I'll never lose sight of the fact, Chuffy, that the betrothal only lasted two days, during both of which I
26:26was in bed with a nasty cold.
26:28Yes, she must have had a wonderful time being engaged to you.
26:31What on earth made her accept you, I wonder?
26:33I don't know.
26:33I once consulted a knowledgeable pal, and his theory was that the sight of me hanging around like a loony
26:38sheep awoke the maternal instinct in woman.
26:42There may be something in this.
26:48I'd like to propose a toast.
26:51Ladies and gentlemen, to the Chuffnell Hall Hotel.
26:55Chuffnell Hall Hotel.
26:56This is just my room.
26:58There's loads more.
27:00Mom could give me a horse for Christmas.
27:02We had a dance once, in the main saloon.
27:05It's so big.
27:06Thousands of people dancing.
27:08Give me five shillings.
27:12Hey, who's that?
27:13What do you think?
27:15Oh, get us!
27:17Oh, stop it!
27:18Get us!
27:19I've got it!
27:20Come on!
27:22Oh, my God!
27:23Hey!
27:24Give us a kissy.
27:25Give you a kissy, all right, then.
27:30Oh, that was right on the end of my nose.
27:33Oh, what do you want to do?
27:34You bent over.
27:35Oh, it's a weeb.
27:38Oh, it's a weeb.
27:38Oh, it's a weeb.
27:39Oh, it's a weeb.
27:40Bye-bye.
27:41Boy, boy, oh, it's a weeb.
27:44Boo!
27:45Oh, it's a weeb.
27:46Boo-dee, boo-dee, boo.
27:48Boo-dee, boo-dee, boo-dee, boo.
27:51Boo-dee, boo-dee, boo-dee, boo.
27:54Boo-dee, boo-dee, boo-dee, boo.
27:58It's a weeb.
27:59I've got...
28:00I say jeez.
28:02Good afternoon, sir.
28:04Sir...
28:04Is something amiss?
28:05The chapels look like a French army who just got to Moscow and discovered its early closing day.
28:11The simile is an apt one, sir.
28:14Go straight to your room and stay there, you horrible little tyrant.
28:18But he was only...
28:27Upon witnessing the position of affairs,
28:29Mrs. Pongleton uttered a sharp cry and struck Master Dwight with considerable force on the right ear, sir.
28:35Upon which, of course?
28:37Precisely, sir.
28:38Mr. Stoker, espousing the cause of his son, aimed a powerful kick at Master Seabury.
28:43Oh, jeez, tell me you got him.
28:45Yes, sir.
28:46Oh, jeez, have a prawn.
28:48Thank you, no, sir.
28:50A heated altercation then broke out between Mrs. Pongleton and Mr. Stoker.
28:54She called on Lord Chufnel for support and he proceeded to take Mr. Stoker to task for the assault.
29:00And then?
29:02High words ensued, sir.
29:04The upshot being that Mr. Stoker, with considerable warmth, informed Lord Chufnel that if he supposed
29:10that he, Mr. Stoker, intended to purchase Chufnel Hall after what had occurred,
29:14then he, Lord Chufnel, was in grave error.
29:17Upon this...
29:18Get it over, jeez.
29:19I can see what's coming.
29:21Yes, sir.
29:21I agree with you that the whole affair does have something of the dark inevitability of
29:25Greek tragedy.
29:27His lordship, I regret to say, became somewhat unguarded in his speech.
29:32He ticked Stoker off.
29:34With considerable vigour, sir, stating in an extremely candid manner his opinion of the
29:40latter's character, commercial probity, and even appearance.
29:45Well, that must have put the lid on it.
29:46It did create a coolness, sir.
29:53Before all this happened, had Chufny said anything to Stoker about wanting to marry Miss Stoker?
29:57No, sir.
29:59Well, I don't see how he can do it now.
30:00They'll have to meet by stealth.
30:02Even that will prove a little difficult, I fear, sir.
30:04Mr. Stoker announced that he was not permitting Miss Pauline to go ashore during the remainder
30:08of their enforced stay in the harbour.
30:10I thought you said he didn't know anything about the engagement.
30:13Mr. Stoker's motive in immuring Miss Stoker on the vessel, sir, is not to prevent her
30:18from encountering his lordship.
30:19His exact words were, she's not going to go getting kissed by that imbecile friend of hers
30:24again.
30:26Meaning me?
30:27It seems likely, sir.
30:29He said all Mr. Chufny, you say?
30:31Yes, sir.
30:32About this imbecile friend kissing Miss Stoker.
30:35Yes, sir.
30:36Lord Chufny appeared somewhat put out by the information.
30:39What did he say?
30:41He mentioned something about scooping out your insides, sir.
30:47What do you advise, Jeeves?
30:48I can only suggest, sir, that should his lordship tax you with the matter, you try to persuade
30:53him that the spirit in which you embraced Miss Stoker was purely a brotherly one.
30:58Brotherly?
31:00Brotherly?
31:01Yes.
31:07Here!
31:07Where is he?
31:08Who?
31:09Your master.
31:10Master?
31:11I'm going to kick him from here to Newton Ferries and back again.
31:15Do what you like.
31:16I haven't seen him.
31:17Ha!
31:24Ah, good afternoon, my lord.
31:25You haven't seen a rather...
31:28Ah, there he is.
31:30Ah!
31:31Ah!
31:32Chuffy, old man!
31:33Stalking in here, eh?
31:35Stalking?
31:35Watch out, no.
31:36Far from it.
31:37Oh, Jeeves told me all too bad.
31:39Too bad.
31:39No.
31:40I little thought when I bestowed a brotherly kiss on Pauline Stoker by way of congratulating
31:45her on your engagement...
31:46No, we weren't engaged then.
31:48No, no.
31:49Quite, no.
31:49Well, I'm aware of that, Chuffy.
31:50Your putative engagement, I should have said.
31:53No, I little thought what trouble would come bobbing along so soon afterwards.
31:56What do you mean, brotherly?
31:58Oh, well, brotherly.
32:00Well, Stoker didn't think it was brotherly.
32:03No, well, we all know what sort of mind Stoker's got, don't we?
32:06Had you been there, you'd have seen exactly how brotherly it was and given it the Chufnell's
32:11seal of approval, I'm sure.
32:13Well, all right.
32:15But in future, a little less of this fraternal stuff.
32:20Just so.
32:21I don't want to feel when I'm married that at any moment I might come into the room and
32:24find a brother and sister act in progress.
32:28You still intend to marry this Pauline, then?
32:30Well, of course I intend to marry her.
32:32But what about the Chufnell's scruples?
32:34I mean, if old Stoker doesn't buy the hall, aren't you rather by way of being back in
32:38the position you were before?
32:39Not able to marry the oofy girl because you haven't got the Mazuma?
32:42No, that's all changed.
32:43I was a fool.
32:44What does money matter?
32:46I mean, uh, love's love.
32:50Well, you never spoke a truer word, old sport.
32:54If I were you, I'd write her a letter embodying those views, just so she knows what the SP
32:58is.
32:58Bertie, I will.
33:00And what's more, Jeeves shall take it to her.
33:02Well, thus removing any chance of old Stoker intercepting it.
33:07Well, how will Jeeves get it to her?
33:09Stoker wants to employ Jeeves.
33:11Jeeves shall go to him.
33:13Oh, I see.
33:14You mean, operating under the Stoker banner, Jeeves will be free to come and go as he pleases.
33:18Exactly.
33:19Well, this certainly has put the butter on the spinach.
33:22I shall go and tell Jeeves at once.
33:25I suppose she really does love me.
33:29Oh, dash it, old chap.
33:30Didn't she say so?
33:31But it just seems so dashed odd, her letting you kiss her.
33:35Yes, she naturally divined that the embrace was purely brotherly.
33:39Yes.
33:40Yes.
33:41Brotherly.
33:42Yes, of course.
33:44Yes.
34:08Ah, there you are, Chiefs.
34:09You ready for the off?
34:10I've nearly finished the letter.
34:12I've stuck more or less to what you suggested.
34:16More or less, sir?
34:19Well, some of it was a bit too, no, I don't know, soppy.
34:24You'll pardon me for saying so, sir, but soppiness is at the very heart of the successful love letter.
34:30Without a sufficient degree of soppiness, there is a danger of the communication being laid aside by the recipient to
34:35be read at some future date, together with the gas bill, sir.
34:39Well, the only bit I left out was that bit about her name being twined round my heart like roses
34:46round a cottage door.
34:47Oh, pity, sir. An old favourite, perhaps.
34:50But it still has the capacity to move, given the appropriate march of events.
34:54Well, I just couldn't bring myself to it, Chiefs.
34:57Very good, sir.
34:58And, um, I hope you'll be very happy in your new employment.
35:05Thank you, sir.
35:24What time do you want dinner, then?
35:27Dinner!
35:28Ooh, about 8.30, I think. Thank you, Brickley.
35:31Right.
35:32Oh, and light the lamp on me, will you?
35:35What? That thing?
35:37Not supposed to.
35:45I'm used to the electric, you know.
35:50Brickley, there's a curious smell.
35:54Smell?
35:57Ah, show me pie.
36:08Brickley, look, there's been a slight change of plan. I've just remembered that my uncle's not very well.
36:13What uncle?
36:15What?
36:16Um, Reginald, if you must know.
36:19Um, so I think I'll just, um...
36:21What about your pie?
36:23Well, I haven't got time for that.
36:24Uh, you, you help yourself.
36:26I've not eaten that.
36:36Ahoy there, Gypsy Queen.
36:39Who's there?
36:40It's Jeeves, sir.
36:42Commission to come aboard?
36:44Oh, come aboard, Jeeves!
36:50So, tired of these English aristocrats, eh, Jeeves?
36:53I wouldn't put it quite like that, sir.
36:55Gally, you got class, Jeeves, you know that?
36:58Good of you to say so, sir.
37:00Who is it, Daddy?
37:02Guess what, honey?
37:03Jeeves has come to work for us.
37:04Hello, Jeeves.
37:05Good evening, miss.
37:19Both the breaths are...
37:21And the legs.
37:27Jeeves.
37:31Oh, it's a wonderful letter, Jeeves.
37:34I'm glad you enjoyed it, miss.
37:36I didn't know Marmaduke had it in him.
37:38But what am I gonna do, Jeeves?
37:41Daddy won't let me go ashore.
37:43If I might make a suggestion, miss.
38:15Ah!
38:20What are you doing here?
38:21Hello, Bertie.
38:23You're...
38:23You're...
38:24You're in my heliotrope pyjamas.
38:26I know.
38:28Well, they suit you, I must say.
38:31What on earth is this?
38:33It's my swimsuit.
38:34You swam ashore from the yacht?
38:36Yes.
38:37Why?
38:37You know, Bertie, you ought to be in some sort of home.
38:41I am.
38:41My own.
38:43The point I would like to thresh out is what on earth are you doing here?
38:45What on earth did you want to kiss me like that for in front of father?
38:48I thought he was Chuffy.
38:50You thought my father was Marmaduke?
38:51The idea was to let Chuffy observe you in my embrace and thereby get him keyed up to propose to
38:55you.
38:58You know, there's a sort of willy-headed duckiness about you, Bertie.
39:02If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could easily marry you.
39:06No, no, no, no.
39:07Don't even dream of it.
39:09No, it's all right.
39:10I'm gonna marry Marmaduke.
39:11Ah, well, now we come right back to it.
39:13You swim ashore from the yacht.
39:15Why?
39:16You break a window and dump yourself in my little home.
39:19Why?
39:20Because I wanted somewhere to lie low till I could get clothes, of course.
39:23I can't go to the hall in a swimsuit.
39:26You came ashore to get to Chuffy?
39:27Your man, Jeeves, said you'd be delighted to help.
39:30Oh, he did, did he?
39:32Bertie, you sound annoyed.
39:34Well, I am annoyed.
39:35A reputable boulevardier like myself, whose license has never been so much as endorsed,
39:40can scarcely be blamed for looking askance at girls in heliotrope pajamas in his bed.
39:44You're making a fuss about nothing.
39:46All I wanted to...
39:48What was that?
39:50It's Chuffy.
39:51It's father.
39:53Well, we'll hide.
39:54No, you best go downstairs.
39:56I'll see the light.
39:57I'll see the light.
39:59I...
40:05If it's my father, be careful.
40:07What do you mean, be careful?
40:09No, it's all right.
40:10He probably won't have a gun.
40:15Go on!
40:21Hello, yes?
40:22It's Sergeant Wool, sir.
40:27Uh, frankly sorry to keep you so long.
40:29I was, uh, just thinking of this and that.
40:32Uh, sort of reverie, if you know what I mean.
40:34Are you aware, sir, there's a window broke?
40:38Constable Dobson here spotted it and thought he'd best wake me up to investigate.
40:42Oh, the broken window, yes, yes.
40:44I know about that.
40:45The problem is, sir, the danger of marauders getting through.
40:49I thought I did see a marauder getting through, Uncle Ted.
40:52What?
40:52You young mutton.
40:53Ned, why didn't you tell me before?
40:55I think we'd best search the house, sir.
40:58Oh, no, no, no, Sergeant.
40:59Quite out of the question.
41:01Well, please yourself, sir.
41:03But you're shackling the police in their duty.
41:06That's what you're doing, shackling us.
41:08The marauders are probably lurking, sir.
41:10I give you my word, Sergeant.
41:11There are no marauders.
41:12I'm sorry.
41:13Come, Dennis.
41:14He's been objuring.
41:29Who was it?
41:30The constabulary.
41:31Apparently, they saw you getting in.
41:32Oh, what a lot of trouble I'm giving you, Bertie.
41:35No, no, only too pleased.
41:37Yeah, well, I'd better be pushing along, then.
41:39I'm going to sleep in the potting shed.
41:41Oh, Bertie, isn't there a sofa downstairs?
41:43There is.
41:43Noah's.
41:44He brought it ashore on Mount Ararat.
41:45No, I might be better off in the potting shed.
41:47Don't worry, old thing.
41:48We Worcesters can rough it
41:49when it comes to giving two fond hearts a leg up.
42:04Jeez.
42:06Miss Pauline's gone.
42:07Gone, sir?
42:08She's not in her room.
42:10She's not anywhere.
42:11Good heavens, sir.
42:14You don't think that she could have gone ashore to see that Mr. Worcester, sir?
42:18Worcester?
42:19Of course.
42:20I knew it.
42:22Perhaps we should go ashore to search for her, sir.
42:25Good idea, Jeeves.
42:26Come on.
42:40We thought he was talking strange, my lord.
42:44He said he'd been in a reverie.
42:47Then Constable Dodson sees him going into the potting shed.
43:00Knowing he was a friend of yours, my lord, we thought we'd best let you know.
43:09What?
43:10What?
43:11What?
43:11It's all right, Bertie.
43:12It's me.
43:13Sergeant Valls is worried about you.
43:15Walk me along to have a look.
43:16Well, Sergeant Valls is an ass.
43:18Begging your pardon, sir.
43:20I thought he was acting peculiar.
43:22You must admit it is a bit peculiar, Bertie.
43:24Sleeping out here, I mean.
43:25Uh, yeah.
43:26Well, there was a spider in my bedroom.
43:29A spider, eh?
43:31Ah.
43:32Pink?
43:34Well, pinkish.
43:35With stripes.
43:37It's all right, Sergeant.
43:38Nothing to worry about.
43:38He's simply as tight as an owl.
43:40We'd better get into bed.
43:41No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
43:44It's all right, Bertie.
43:45We understand.
43:46Look, Sergeant Valls and I will come up with you and kill the nasty old spider.
43:51Come on, then.
44:10Come on.
44:10Come on, Jack.
44:15What happened?
44:15You must have tripped and fallen, sir.
44:18Come on, Jack.
44:19No, no, no, no, no.
44:20Choppy!
44:20Don't open that door.
44:21I know, Bertie, I know.
44:23You'll soon be in beddy-bys now.
44:25No, no, no.
44:26I can't.
44:27No, I...
44:27Oh, please.
44:28No.
44:29Ah.
44:36All right, sir, in the bittybikes.
44:41Yes.
45:11There, sir. That's killed the beastly spider.
45:19I'm arresting you, my lad, on suspicion of being a marauder.
45:22My lad?
45:24I'll have that now.
45:25I'm working. This is my arm.
45:28Come on!
45:29Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
45:30Hey, come out!
45:31Oh! Oh! Oh!
45:44The room downstairs is on fire!
45:46Come on!
45:47I'm coming, my lord!
45:48Go on, Sergeant.
45:50Dennis, if you're down there, fix the fire brigade!
45:58What in Hades is that?
46:00It appears to be a conflagration, sir.
46:03Holy Moses. Come on, Chiefs.
46:08What's going on?
46:10It was him, the marauder!
46:11He knocked the lamp over!
46:13Look!
46:15Help!
46:15Oh, Sammy!
46:16That's my daughter!
46:17You swine!
46:22Oh, you devil!
46:24Ow!
46:28Pauline!
46:28You're downing!
46:29I'm coming, darling!
46:31Oh!
46:32Oh!
46:32That's it!
46:33Hurry!
46:35That's it!
46:36Time!
46:44Oh!
46:46Oh!
46:47Oh!
46:47Oh!
46:48Oh!
46:49Oh!
46:51Oh!
46:52I blame you for this, Chiefs.
46:54With respect, sir, I merely intended Mr. Stoker to discover his daughter at your cottage.
46:59So strongly does he disapprove of you that I expected him to look more kindly on Miss Stoker's putative engagement
47:05to Lord Justenough.
47:06The fact that his lordship should also discover her here, and in mortal peril, was, as the Americans say, pure
47:14gravy.
47:18Well done, sir!
47:20Come on!
47:21Come on!
47:22Come on!
47:24Come on!
47:57Come on!
48:01Come on!
48:19Good morning, sir.
48:24Ouchies.
48:25Your tea, sir.
48:27Oh, thank you, Jeeves.
48:29What sort of a day is it?
48:31Warm, sir.
48:33A slight breeze from the southeast and some high serocumulus to the west.
48:38I've taken the liberty of preparing the car for the journey, sir.
48:42Will you drive or shall I?
48:44Drive, Jeeves' journey?
48:46To London, sir.
48:49Wait a minute.
48:50Are you back with me, Jeeves?
48:52If that's agreeable to you, sir, yes.
48:55Neither Mr. Stoker nor Lord Chufnell feel themselves quite able to measure up to the required standard.
49:09Well, well, well, well, well.
49:11London, eh?
49:12The drones for lunch, dinner at Quag's.
49:14Indeed, sir.
49:17I imagine that you will not be requiring this, sir.
49:21Oh, Jeeves, what might have been?
49:24No, sir.
49:26No.
49:26No, you're quite right.
49:29Well, lead on, Jeeves.
49:30You can drive.
49:33No, you're quite right.
49:35No, you're quite right.
49:49No, you're quite right.
49:49No, you're quite right.
49:49No, you're quite right.
49:49No, you're quite right.
49:50No, you're quite right.
49:50No, you're quite right.
49:51No, you're quite right.
49:51No, you're quite right.
49:51No, you're quite right.
49:52No, you're quite right.
49:55No, you're quite right.
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