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Jeeves and Wooster S02E05 Kidnapped
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00:00I love you
00:59This is a big day for the last of the Worcesters, Jeeves.
01:02Indeed, sir.
01:03The drones are electing a new chairman of the dining committee.
01:06Today is the last day for nominations to be in.
01:09Is the post much sought after, sir?
01:11Much sought after, Jeeves.
01:13Suffice it to say that five out of the last seven chairmen have had to spend considerable time in the
01:17gym-jam clinic after their periods in office.
01:20The rigours and responsibilities of the post, sir?
01:23Partly, Jeeves, but mostly the fact that every wine merchant within gargling distance of the metropolis
01:28is so keen to get the drones' order that case after case of their most treasured vintage seems to go
01:33astray and end up at the chairman's private residence.
01:35The ways of commerce are exceedingly odd, sir.
01:38That's not to mention the wine tastings, trips to the vineyard and the slap-up dinners at Chateau Plonk.
01:43Am I to infer, sir, that you might be offering yourself for election?
01:48Your inference is, as always, slap on the button and leading by length in the final furlong, Jeeves.
01:52I have the ear of Oofy Plotter and Oofy has the ear of the Nominations Committee.
01:57Save the congratulations for later, Jeeves, but as the French might say, it is doorless sack.
02:11I'm sorry about this, sir. Can you hear them?
02:13It's a difficult lot to hear, then, Rogers.
02:15Women and children are huddled in frightened groups as far north as Grosvenor Square.
02:19The committee's on the warpath about this, I can tell you, sir.
02:34What are you cheering about, Barmy?
02:36I've finished miles ahead of you fellows.
02:41What's more, chaps?
02:45It's beginning to sound quite professional, Oofy.
02:47We're playing at Barmy's Aunt Hilda's place this weekend.
02:50It's her silver wedding anniversary.
02:53Is Barmy's Aunt Hilda Spanish?
02:56Spanish? No.
02:58Why are they playing Lady of Spain, then?
03:00Well, the only other tune we know is Barnacle Bill the Seymour.
03:04Ah, not quite the sort of thing for a silver wedding, you mean.
03:06We didn't think so.
03:08Of course, we haven't seen Barmy's Aunt Hilda.
03:10Yes.
03:11Well, I was sort of hoping to chance upon you, Oofy.
03:14It's about the chairmanship of the dining committee.
03:17The election?
03:18Yes, well, I was...
03:19What I'm sort of trying to get at is this.
03:21How about edging yours truly onto the list of candidates?
03:24As you know, I've had a certain amount of experience.
03:25No, no, no.
03:26Absolutely impossible, Bertie.
03:29Is this Oofy Prosser, I hear?
03:31Saying no, no, no to his oldest and dearest friend, Bertram Wilberforce?
03:35There's nothing I can do, Bertie.
03:38Ever since that scandal about Horace Pendlebury Davenport and the three towns of Gorgonzola,
03:43it's been written into the dining committee rules that no one with a criminal record may offer himself for election.
03:50A criminal record?
03:51Weren't you up in front of the magistrate one boat race night for stealing a policeman's helmet?
03:55Oh, yes, Ralph.
03:56You'll find me five pounds.
03:58Aye, it all counts, Bertie.
04:00I'm sorry.
04:12Why, if it isn't Pauline Stoker.
04:15Well, well, well, Bertie Worcester.
04:17What are you doing here?
04:19Oh, you know, this and that.
04:20Back and forth.
04:21I sort of live just around the corner.
04:23Well, am I glad to see you.
04:25Well, likewise, old prune.
04:27Are you in London for long?
04:28No, just for the day.
04:29Buying the wedding dress.
04:31That's all charging ahead as is, you and Chuffy.
04:33Of course it is.
04:39Oh, Bertie.
04:40Bertie, on Pauline.
04:41There's somebody been following me all day.
04:44Following you?
04:45What do you mean, as in following you?
04:47A man with a big ginger beard.
04:49Well, perhaps you'll have to borrow the price of a razor.
04:51Don't look now.
04:53He's just come around the corner.
04:55Stop.
04:56He's pretending to look in a window.
04:59Well, why can't I look?
05:00All right, look now.
05:02No, he's gone.
05:05Bertie, would you do me a terrific favor?
05:14What a spiffy apartment, Bertie.
05:17Ah, Jeeves.
05:18We shall be going down to Chuftal Hall for a few days.
05:20Very good, sir.
05:21Good afternoon, Miss Stoker.
05:22Hiya, Jeeves.
05:23I trust Mr. Stoker as well, miss?
05:25When they invented the phrase rude health, Jeeves,
05:27they didn't know it would get as rude as my father.
05:29Miss Stoker's got a bit of a problem, Jeeves.
05:32I'm sorry to hear that, miss.
05:33Yeah, some fellow keeps following her around.
05:35Much as one might disapprove of such a course of action
05:38on the part of a gentleman,
05:40one is scarcely surprised.
05:42Why, Jeeves, you old smoothie.
05:44Thank you, miss.
05:45So, I've been deputed to actor's bodyguard.
05:48I shall go down to Chufal in Miss Stoker's car
05:50and you can bring the luggage down in mine.
05:52Very good, sir.
05:54Well, you look as if you could use a drink, old girl.
05:56I could, Bertie.
05:58Then hang on to your hat.
05:59In two shakes of a dog's tail,
06:00you shall be rocked in the cradle of a Bertram special.
06:06One doesn't like to intrude, old former fiancé,
06:08but you don't seem the usual effervescent stoker pee.
06:12Is it this bearded geezer?
06:14No, not really.
06:16It's Chuffy.
06:17Oh, I thought everything was oojar-cum-spiff on that front.
06:20Well, it is.
06:21But Chuffy's got this terrible pride, you see.
06:23He won't marry me unless he can support me
06:25in the style I'm accustomed to.
06:27Which, as your esteemed parent owns three-quarters of Chicago
06:30with a fair proportion of the state of Illinois thrown in,
06:32is a bit difficult.
06:33Yes, but Daddy was going to buy Chuffnell Hall from him
06:36and turn it into a hotel.
06:37Then he'd have had lots of money.
06:39Was?
06:39You said was going to buy Chuffnell Hall?
06:41Well, there's a problem.
06:42Something called planning permission or something?
06:44Anyway, whatever it's called, Daddy can't get it.
06:47A bit difficult, Dad.
06:49Well, yes, but I may have a solution.
06:52They don't want a hotel there,
06:53but apparently they wouldn't say no
06:55to some sort of medical establishment.
06:57And I found this very distinguished old medical bird
06:59who could run it for us.
07:00And I'm sure...
07:01Oh, my God!
07:03I'm meant to be having lunch with him in five minutes!
07:08You're sure this old medical bird
07:09wouldn't mind that being an extra beak to feed?
07:11There isn't.
07:12He's expecting Daddy to be there anyway.
07:15That's the trouble.
07:16Daddy isn't too keen on the sanatorium idea.
07:20He had his heart set on a hotel.
07:27On the morning in question,
07:29the Earl of Slough awoke to find that during the night his...
07:34Yes, Delia?
07:35The Stokers are not here yet, Roderick.
07:39My dear, Delia,
07:40I managed to snatch five minutes continuing work on my memoirs,
07:44and you interrupt me to inform me of an event which has not happened.
07:48Oh, I know, Roderick, and I'm awfully sorry,
07:50but it is so important.
07:52Not to me, Delia.
07:54I have no wish to bury myself in the country.
07:56There is no question of your burying yourself, Roderick.
07:59Sir Wensley Doggett has not buried himself,
08:01and he's got a clinic in Switzerland.
08:03People say he might get peerage next year.
08:07Nonsense.
08:08Doggett is a quack, Delia,
08:10and I'll thank you not to mention his name
08:12in any sort of conjunction with mine.
08:14They're here.
08:15Now, do be nice to them, Roderick.
08:20We're here to see Sir Roderick.
08:22Thank you, sir.
08:23Sir Roderick is expecting you.
08:27That's, uh...
08:28That's not Sir Roderick's gossip, is it?
08:29Yes. Why?
08:32Oh, my God.
08:38Miss Stoker and Mr. Worcester to see you in the evening.
08:46Miss Stoker, how nice.
08:49Mr. Worcester.
08:50What, her lady Glossop?
08:51I didn't know you knew one another.
08:53Oh, yes.
08:55However, Sir Roderick will be with us directly.
08:59He's working on his memoirs, you know.
09:01Really?
09:02Oh, I thought my ears were burning.
09:04Do sit down, won't you?
09:06A glass of lemonade, Miss Stoker.
09:09Mr. Worcester.
09:10Rather, yes.
09:11I, uh...
09:12I really look forward to the old lemonade before luncheon.
09:18I had thought, Miss Stoker, that your father would be with you.
09:24Yes, I know.
09:25He's really sorry he couldn't get here.
09:27Oh, well, no matter.
09:28We shall see him later today when we come down to Chufnel.
09:32Forgive me.
09:34Forgive me, Miss Stoker.
09:37Worcester.
09:38What ho, what ho?
09:39The old bad penny, you see?
09:41What are you doing here?
09:43This is jolly.
09:44You all being old friends and everything.
09:56Boy, that'll go in my diary as one of the great lunches of my life.
10:00Oh, I don't know.
10:01I thought it all biffed along rather well, considering.
10:04What had you done to those people, Bertie?
10:06I was once engaged to their daughter.
10:09Huh.
10:17We must be out of gas, Bertie.
10:20No, I'm not sure these things run on petrol.
10:22Oh, Bertie, do something.
10:26You're going to stop, are you?
10:32There's someone smoking in there.
10:34What's that?
10:35That's the engine.
10:37All right.
10:38It's not interesting.
10:39I think you'll have to push, Bertie.
10:43It's getting dark, Bertie.
10:45Can't we go any faster?
10:52Bertie, look!
10:53There's a public house up ahead.
11:09Come on, Bertie.
11:10Come on, Bertie.
11:18Of course, we don't get many visitors, like, but you're very welcome to the two-letter rooms we have got.
11:24Now, there's one there, and the other one is here.
11:30The bathroom's down the hall.
11:33They'll be just fine.
11:35Good.
11:45Bertie?
11:48Hello?
11:49Lucky old Chucky can't see us now, eh?
11:53Lucky?
11:54Why?
11:54Well, you know how suspicious and jealous he is.
11:59He'd probably tear you limb from limb.
12:01Damn.
12:19Give it to me.
12:24Oh, nothing.
12:28Exactly.
12:39Good morning, Miss Stoker. Good morning, sir.
12:42Ah, jeez, sir. Miss Stoker's car broke down, jeez.
12:46In Wiltshire.
12:47I surmise that something of the kind had taken place, sir.
12:49Mr. Stoker was inquiring after you at the hall, miss.
12:52Oh, lordy. You didn't tell him I was with old sweet cheeks here, did you?
12:56When he saw me, miss, he leapt to that conclusion for himself.
13:00Was he cross?
13:01I could not say, miss. A darker hue suffused his cheeks, and he attempted to kick a passing cat.
13:09Um, I better get back to the yacht and explain things.
13:12After all this time, he still thinks Bertie and I are madly in love.
13:24My dratted engagement to Pauline Stoker seems to have dogged the footsteps, jeez.
13:29Indeed it does, sir.
13:30And it lasted two days. I was unconscious for most of the time.
13:33I recall it with great vividity, sir.
13:35I've always felt it a benison that the young lady's father objected to the union with such fervour.
13:40Yeah, me too, jeez.
13:41I don't know what I could have been thinking of.
13:43But foreign travel often liberates emotions best kept in check, sir.
13:47And the air of North America is notoriously stimulating in this regard,
13:52as witness the regrettable behaviour of its inhabitants in 1776.
13:57Well, what happened in 1776, jeez, sir?
13:59I prefer not to dwell on it if it's convenient to you, sir.
14:03Yeah.
14:04Well, all I'm saying is I wish old man Stoker could forget that I was ever engaged to his dratted
14:08daughter.
14:09Chuffy, too, if it comes to that.
14:11He doesn't know I was with Pauline last night, does he?
14:13I could not say, sir, I did not see Lord Chutnall last evening.
14:20Ah, Bertie! Good to see you!
14:22What, oh, Chuffy?
14:23I bet I think it's an awful crust for me just arriving like this.
14:26What?
14:27No, no, no, no, no!
14:29My car, sir, is your car, sir!
14:31What?
14:36I say, Bertie, I don't suppose G was a butler for us tonight, would he?
14:40Well, I'll ask him.
14:41The old Birdwood had to retire.
14:44We couldn't afford to replace him.
14:47Still, I suppose once you've sold the old pile, you'll be able to employ an army of butlers.
14:53I want to play!
14:56Hello, young Seabree.
14:57I want to play croquet!
14:59You said I could play the next time you played.
15:01Oh, yes, that's absolutely true, but, um, I'm playing with Mr. Worcester.
15:05You remember Mr. Worcester, don't you?
15:07What, oh, Seabree?
15:07He can watch!
15:08I'm good at croquet!
15:10There you are, Seabree.
15:12Come along, time for your maths class.
15:14I want to play croquet!
15:15Maths first!
15:18Oh, hello, Bertie!
15:19Hello, Myrtle!
15:20Good to see you again!
15:28It's on a knife edge at the moment, Bertie.
15:30If he can get planning permission, El Stoker's going to take this heap off my hands in return
15:34for vast amounts of oof, and I'll be engaged to his beautiful daughter.
15:38Yes, it's, uh, it's not going to be a hotel now, I understand.
15:41No, Pauline met this woman called Glossop, and she's keen to get it turned into a sanatorium
15:45with her husband running it.
15:46And he's down here staying at the local hostelry, isn't he?
15:49What, Stoker?
15:50No, he's on his yacht in the harbour.
15:51No, no, no, I meant Glossop.
15:53Oh, yes, he's at the hotel.
15:54Why, do you know him?
15:55Uh, yes, I was, uh, I was engaged to his daughter and Norea once.
16:00Oh, Bertie, is there any girl you haven't been engaged to?
16:12Ah, everyone here yet, Jeeves?
16:14Stokers have not yet arrived, sir, but Sir Roderick and Lady Glossop are in the drawing
16:19room.
16:19Oh, Lord.
16:21Well, better go and place the music, I suppose.
16:24This room will do wonderfully well for your office, don't you think, Roderick?
16:28Oh, yes, perfect.
16:31Possibly, possibly.
16:34I shall, of course, retain my consulting rooms in Harley Street.
16:37There's so many of my patients to rely on me.
16:40It must be a fascinating life, Sir Roderick.
16:42It has its rewards, Mrs. Pongleton.
16:44The Marchioness of Clapton said to me only last week.
16:48What, home?
16:50Worst!
16:52Well, here we are again, what?
16:54You two know each other, I believe.
16:56We do indeed.
16:57And what's more...
16:59Would you like a glass of sherry, Bertie?
17:01Oh!
17:01Mr. J. Washburn Stoker, Miss Stoker, and Master Dwight Stoker.
17:07Stoker!
17:08Ah, good evening.
17:10Dwight, darling.
17:13You know everyone, I believe.
17:14My sister, Mrs. Pongleton, Sir Roderick and Lady Glossop, oh, and Mr. Worcester.
17:21What in Hades is he doing here?
17:23Oh, you know, usual sort of thing.
17:25Is that the one you were engaged to?
17:28Dwight?
17:29He was engaged to my daughter, too.
17:32What?
17:33Well, you know, an engagement here, an engagement there.
17:36Let's all go into dinner, shall we?
17:40It's Dwight's birthday tomorrow.
17:42Oh, and how old is the dear little fellow?
17:44He's nine.
17:45I'm going to have a swell party.
17:47I do hope you can come, Seabury.
17:50Oh, yes, he'd love to come.
17:52We've got this wonderful troupe of black-faced minstrels coming to do the entertainment.
17:56I bet you've never had minstrels at a birthday party before.
18:00I hate minstrels anyway.
18:01Oh, yeah.
18:02Oh, minstrels.
18:04Roderick, do tell them about the Duke of Tooting.
18:07Duke of Tooting?
18:08Yes.
18:09Oh, yes, the old Duke had a minstrels gallery at the family's seat tooting hall.
18:15Yet every night at dinner, he used to excuse himself, creep up to the gallery, and drop
18:19boiled sweets on the guests below.
18:21But everyone knew it was him, of course, but they had to pretend not to.
18:25The family had to call for me eventually.
18:28Bertie once dropped a blancmange on the Bishop of Woolwich while we were at Oxford.
18:34On a bishop?
18:36Yeah, well, fair's fair, Chuffy.
18:38It wasn't really meant for the bish.
18:39It was meant for Boko Fittleworth, but unfortunately, from above, they look very similar.
18:45I do not find this funny, Worcester.
18:48Well, no.
18:49You had to be there, really.
18:51Anyway, he looked up to see what was happening, tripped over the steps, and fell straight into
18:54the charwell.
18:56At least it washed off the blancmange.
18:59Happy days, happy days.
19:00You didn't say that when they arrested you.
19:03Arrested?
19:03Oh, a boyish prank.
19:06And this is the sort of man you choose as a friend?
19:08Yes, I know.
19:10But he means well.
19:11Anyway, he was fried to the tonsils at the time.
19:13Do you mean intoxicated?
19:16Means well.
19:17A man who makes a mockery of the church?
19:19A jailbird?
19:21A drunkard?
19:22A womanizer?
19:23Oh, now come.
19:24A womanizer, sir.
19:26He deceived my daughter, too.
19:27He was young.
19:29Do you know that your so-called friend spent last night at a hotel with your fiancé?
19:34Daddy?
19:37More soup, anyone?
19:39Do you deny it?
19:40It wasn't the way you make it sound.
19:44I'm sure it was all perfectly innocent.
19:46Innocent?
19:47Don't you care?
19:50I mean, I'm sure nothing untoward happened.
19:52How do you know that?
19:54How dare you?
19:55Pauline.
19:56You just take me for granted.
19:59Either that man leaves your house immediately, or I do.
20:02Look, this is my house, and I'll have whoever I like in it.
20:06Then it can stay your house.
20:08You don't love me.
20:09Oh, no, Pauline, you don't understand.
20:12If you think I'm going to let my daughter marry a man who consorts with common criminals,
20:17you do not know the Middle West of America.
20:20But Mr. Stoker, the sanatorium.
20:23I never wanted a sanatorium anyway.
20:26Come on, Dwight.
20:33I think you can clear the soup now, Jeeves.
20:37Very good, madam.
20:43I suppose one ought to be prepared, Jeeves, for one's past to return every now and again
20:47and strike one a nasty blow on the mazzard.
20:50Indeed, sir.
20:51Our least deed, like the young of the land crab,
20:54wins its way to the sea of cause and effect as soon as born.
20:58Oh, quite.
20:59But it hardly seems fair that it should also strike the mazzard as one's chunt.
21:04No, sir.
21:05Now, this ancient matter of the blamange and the bishop has come back to haunt poor old Chuffey.
21:10Do you hear music, Jeeves?
21:11Of a sort, sir.
21:13If I'm not mistaken, it comes from up ahead there.
21:43It's necessary for these minstrel fellows
21:45to blacken their faces in order to play the banjo and sing songs, Jeeves.
21:49It's said to originate, sir,
21:51with the entertainments got up on the cotton plantations of the New World
21:55by the slaves employed on those facilities
21:58in order to express joy and happiness with their lot.
22:02An unlikely contingency one surmises are bearing in mind their situation.
22:14That's odd that these fellows should have been playing Lady of Spain, too, though.
22:17That's the only tune that the chaps at the drones know.
22:20Thank you, Burpee.
22:23Who's in there?
22:24It's me, Barmy.
22:27Barmy?
22:27What on earth are you doing here?
22:28We're down here to play at my Aunt Hilda's silver wedding party.
22:32What are you playing on the beach for?
22:33We can't very well practice at Chufnel Parva.
22:35It's meant to be a surprise.
22:37And we thought we'd give the holidaymakers a bit of a treat.
22:39You're taking money for making that racket?
22:42Absolutely.
22:42And we've got a job playing on that yacht at a kid's birthday party tonight.
22:46With old man Stoker?
22:48Oh, do you know him?
22:48He's paying us five quid.
22:50My mother's going to be absolutely thrilled.
22:52She's always saying I should work for a living.
23:01This is odd, Jeeves.
23:02Sir?
23:03A letter or missive?
23:09Odder and odd, Jeeves.
23:10Indeed, sir.
23:11Not to say downright rummy.
23:13It's a letter of invitation from old Stoker.
23:15He'd be frightfully bucked if I'd given Mangal's pot of dinner with him on the boat tonight.
23:19It's peculiar, though, eh?
23:20I do not see the point of this at all, Delia.
23:23I should be better employed back in London and continuing my memoir.
23:26We have to try to heal the rift, Roderick, between Lord Chufnel and the Stokers.
23:31I do not care about the rift.
23:33Besides its pointless trial, the Stoker has retired to his yacht and remains there.
23:37In communicado.
23:38It's Lamas Eve tonight, sir.
23:40Don't you be late now.
23:41I beg.
23:42We lock up early tonight, sir.
23:44Old Boggy walks on Lamas Eve.
23:47Superstitious rubbish.
23:48Old Boggy.
23:49We don't know any boggies, do we, Roderick?
23:53I must say, Jeeves.
23:54Jolly decent of old Stoker to extend the olive branch like this.
24:00Ahoy, Gypsy Queen.
24:03Ahoy, Jeeves.
24:04It is the correct form of nautical address, sir.
24:08Sort of thing they only said in books.
24:09Where is it?
24:11It's Mr. Worcester and his manservant requesting permission to board, sir.
24:16Come aboard.
24:25Ahoy, there, Stoker.
24:27Well, well, well.
24:31Well, fine-looking craft, this.
24:33Well, we like it.
24:37Why don't I show you over?
24:39That's the simple of you.
24:45This is the main saloon.
24:47Just being prepared for the festivities.
24:50Ah, little Dwight's birthday, of course.
24:51Cheers.
24:57There's a ball being around this evening.
24:59My daughter.
25:01There's a headache.
25:03Let me show you one of the staterooms.
25:06What do you think of that?
25:07Well, very nice.
25:08Go in.
25:09Have a look around.
25:16Feel the bed.
25:20There it is.
25:20Yes, sir.
25:27Mr. Stoker appears to have locked us in, sir.
25:31Good heavens.
25:36What on earth has he done that for?
25:39Why can't I go to the party?
25:42Well, Uncle Chaffee's had a bit of a disagreement with Mr. Stoker, Seabury.
25:47And we felt...
25:48I haven't.
25:50No, but you sometimes have disagreements with young Dwight, don't you?
25:54I still want to go to his party.
25:57They're so logical at that age, aren't they?
25:59Ha, ha.
26:25Ah, now look here, Stoker.
26:26Wait outside, Jeeves, would you please?
26:29Very good, sir.
26:33Now look here, I know this is trespassing on your time.
26:36Could you possibly tell me what on earth this is all about?
26:38You don't know?
26:39Hang it if I do.
26:40And you can't guess?
26:42Hang it if I can.
26:43Worcester, you spent the night at a hotel with my daughter.
26:47No, no, no, no.
26:49Well, as to say, yes, but...
26:52There was a time when I was younger when I would have broken your neck.
26:56Oh, I say.
26:58Nowadays, I'm more sensible.
27:00I take the easier way.
27:03Good.
27:05Hey, Jeeves.
27:06Yes, miss?
27:07Can I have a word?
27:09Certainly, miss.
27:10This is not the situation I would have chosen personally,
27:13but my hand is forced and that's all there is to it.
27:17What are your views on engagements, Worcester?
27:20Engagements?
27:21I prefer them short.
27:23I feel we should put this wedding through as quickly as possible.
27:26Wedding?
27:27Worcester, you are going to make my daughter an honorable woman.
27:31Oh, no, no, no, no.
27:32Now look here.
27:33There are certain formalities, of course.
27:35And while these are being tended to, you will be my guest.
27:39Well, that's awfully decent of you.
27:41And now I must get back to my son's birthday party.
27:46You don't have to go back in there, Jeeves.
27:48I have no quarrel with you.
27:50My place is at Mr. Worcester's side, sir.
27:53As you wish.
28:04You're abreast of the latest developments, Jeeves?
28:06Yes, sir.
28:07He's going to make me marry Pauline.
28:09Miss Stoker related to me an outline of the plan that Mr. Stoker had made, sir.
28:13By Jove, Jeeves, an idea suddenly occurs to me.
28:16It's all very well for Stoker to talk airily about marrying us off, but he can't do it.
28:20Miss Stoker will simply put her ears back and refuse to cooperate.
28:24You can lead a horse to the altar, Jeeves, but you can't make it drink.
28:29In my recent conversation with the young lady, sir, I did not receive the impression that
28:33she was antagonistic to the arrangements.
28:36What?
28:36Miss Stoker's attitude was influenced by the thought, sir, that in contracting a matrimonial
28:41alliance with you, she will be making a gesture of defiance at Lord Chufnall.
28:45Well, scoring of him, you mean?
28:46Yes, sir.
28:47Oh, what a damn silly idea, Jeeves.
28:49Girl must be cuckoo.
28:51Feminine psychology is admittedly odd, sir.
28:53The poet Pope made free...
28:55Oh, never mind about the poet Pope, Jeeves.
28:57No, sir.
28:58There are times when one wants to hear all about the poet Pope and times when one doesn't.
29:01Very true, sir.
29:02Point is, if that's the way she feels, then I'm a picked man.
29:06Yes, sir.
29:07Unless?
29:09Unless?
29:11I was wondering, sir, whether it might not be best to obviate all unpleasantness by removing
29:16yourself from the yacht.
29:19What a tragedy, Jeeves.
29:21What a tragedy.
29:22After all these years, that superb brain of yours has come unstuck at the edges.
29:26The matter might be easily arranged if you're agreeable, sir.
29:30You mean this is not mere gibbering, Jeeves?
29:32I think not, sir.
29:33Well, sir, we have three requirements.
29:35Firstly, a pair of tweezers.
29:38Next, a sheet of paper, sir.
29:44Indeed, sir, I'm inclined to think that your removal from the general vicinity of Chuck
29:49Luigi's is to be advised.
29:53I believe, sir, that there is a train to London at twenty minutes past ten.
30:00Good heavens, Jeeves.
30:02Thank you, sir.
30:04But you said we needed three things?
30:05Oh, indeed, sir.
30:06While at liberty, I venture to purloin this.
30:10And what is this, Jeeves?
30:12Boot polish, sir.
30:44I'm in a bit of a jam.
30:45I need to borrow your natty headgear and jacket.
30:46I don't know who for it.
30:47Well, Stoker's after me.
30:48He's got me prisoner on the boat.
30:50I say.
30:51Yay!
30:52Yay!
30:54Yay!
31:23Lady of Spain, I adore you.
31:27Right from the first time I saw you.
31:31My heart has been yearning for you.
31:35What else could any heart do?
31:44He recognizes me.
31:45I'll have to jump over the side.
31:47Splendid.
31:48Splendid, thank you.
31:49Thank you so much.
31:51Thank you so much.
31:52Thank you, darling.
31:54Good girl.
31:56Ah, good night.
31:57Good night.
31:58Good night.
31:58Good night.
32:15I wonder how you get this blasted stuff off your face.
32:19Butter.
32:20Butter?
32:21That's what Balmy said anyway.
32:28Gun!
32:30I tried to reason with him, sir, but nothing would dissuade him.
32:34Where has he gone?
32:35He swam ashore, sir.
32:37It is my conjecture that he has gone to catch a train to London.
32:40Well, he's not going to get out of his responsibilities as easily as that.
32:44On the other hand, it is possible he may return to Chufnel Hall.
32:48I could try the station, but how can I go back to the hall?
32:52It might be managed by stealth, sir.
32:55You mean creep up to his bedroom?
32:57Merely a proposal, sir.
32:59And nab him where he lies.
33:01Precisely, sir.
33:03It would be a famous victory were you to abstract Mr. Worcester from under their very noses.
33:07You're right.
33:08You're right.
33:09But what if anyone saw me?
33:12If I might make a suggestion, sir.
33:14Oh, go ahead, Jeeves.
33:16In operations of this type, particularly if they are of a nocturnal nature, it is often thought necessary to resort
33:22to camouflage.
33:24Hey!
33:25Exactly, sir.
33:26A blackened face will often conceal one from all but the most assiduous searcher.
33:31Sort of melt into the darkness.
33:33Yes, sir.
33:35By Jiminy Jeeves, I'll do it.
33:36I'll look for him at the station.
33:38And if he's not there, I'll know where to find him.
33:41Thinks he can make a fool of J. Waxburn Stoker, does he?
33:51I'll see you.
34:14They sing and do tap dancing and one of them tells jokes.
34:19Roderick has an awfully fine voice.
34:22Really?
34:22Oh, yes.
34:23He was greatly in demand when he was younger.
34:26Can he tell jokes?
34:27No.
34:29Well.
34:31It's no good.
34:32You have to black your face.
34:33Ah, well, I certainly...
34:36Come on, Jeeves.
34:37Put some beef into it.
34:39Very good, sir.
34:40That Worcester's not going to get away with this.
34:43Thinks he can play fast and loose with my daughter, does he?
34:47You coming, wouldn't we, Jeeves?
34:49I think it would be more appropriate if I waited here, sir.
34:52Right.
34:53And I'll be back with Worcester.
35:04I'll be glad when that last train's gone.
35:06And I'm safe home tonight, Cedric.
35:08Yeah.
35:13Yes?
35:13I'll be back with Worcester.
35:14Oh, my God.
35:17She's all...
35:18Okay.
35:19He's here.
35:20I'll call the police.
35:22Well, it was horrible.
35:24It was horrible.
35:25It was horrible.
35:28It was horrible.
35:28Horrible.
35:29Horrible.
35:32I'm singing in the rain.
35:35Just singing in the rain.
35:37What a glorious feeling.
35:41I'm happy again.
35:43Don't you know the tune?
35:45Of course I know the tune.
35:47Well, you're a rotten singer, then.
35:50Seabury, you mustn't be rude.
35:53What a very forthright little chap he is.
35:56Tis old Boggy.
35:58He be abroad tonight.
36:01He be heading for the railway station.
36:06Come on, Dennis.
36:07We've got to sing with that's room.
36:09I've got to call for reinforcements.
36:11You remember what happened last Lamas' Eve.
36:13You go and start the car.
36:16I'm singing, just singing in the rain.
36:24Oh, there.
36:25What about jokes?
36:27Jokes.
36:28Minstrels tell jokes.
36:30Might be better than your singing.
36:32Yes, very well.
36:33Jokes.
36:35Ah, yes.
36:36Now, for this joke, you have to imagine that I am two people.
36:40What do you mean?
36:41Two people.
36:42Person A and Person B.
36:45Get on with it, then.
36:48Well, Person A says,
36:49My wife's gone to the East Indies.
36:52And Person B inquires, Jakarta.
36:56Whereupon, Person A ripostes,
36:58No, she went by boat.
37:01Oh, my God.
37:05Is that meant to be a joke?
37:08Now, Jakarta, you see,
37:10is the capital city of Java.
37:12Only Person B was under the impression
37:14that what Person A...
37:16Well, I think you tell rotten jokes.
37:17You can't sing,
37:18and you look completely stupid.
37:20Seabury!
37:23Ow!
37:24Not again.
37:25What's up?
37:26It's great to always leave you, sir.
37:27Get out!
37:28And stay out!
37:30I have every intention of so doing.
37:33Thanks.
37:41What-ho, what-ho!
37:43Good God!
37:45Only B, Worcester.
37:46You are no doubt wondering, Mr. Worcester,
37:48what is the explanation for all this?
37:49No, no, no.
37:50One doesn't like to pry.
37:52I was endeavouring to entertain
37:53young Master Seabury
37:55by dressing as a minstrel.
37:57Huh?
37:57What went wrong?
37:58Seabury was unappreciative.
38:00For once in my life,
38:01I lost control.
38:02I cuffed him round the ear.
38:04And Chuffy threw you out?
38:06He did indeed.
38:07Mr. Worcester,
38:09we have had our differences in the past.
38:11No, no, no.
38:12I feel a distinct warming towards you, Sir Roderick.
38:14Now I learn that you managed to give
38:15little Seabury one or two on the spot indicated.
38:18Only one, I regret to say.
38:19But it was a good one.
38:21Seems to bring us closer together, though, eh?
38:23However, the burning issue of the hour is
38:25how are we going to get this blasted stuff off our faces?
38:27Barmy says one needs butter.
38:29Yes, I certainly can't go back to my hotel in this state.
38:31Well, I can't get on a train
38:32without them setting the police on me.
38:34We could try it in the village.
38:36We could take my car.
38:39Never seen blackface
38:41with horrible staring eyes.
38:44Just a minute.
38:52It's him.
38:53What's that?
38:59We're not cold.
39:00Stop that door.
39:01Shut up, you ought to.
39:04We can't have an emergency.
39:05He's finished, Uncle Ted.
39:07Where do you think he's going?
39:08Quick, in the car.
39:09I haven't finished my drink yet.
39:11I don't drink.
39:12It's not my bad.
39:14Another way.
39:14Barmy, we can't stop.
39:16We'll be late.
39:17Barmy, we can't be here.
39:18Barmy, we can't stop.
39:19Barmy, we can't stop.
39:25Barmy, we can't stop.
39:28Barmy, we can't stop.
39:29Barmy, we can't stop.
39:31Barmy, we can't stop.
39:34Barmy, we can't stop.
39:35Barmy, we can't stop.
39:36Barmy, we can't stop.
39:36Barmy, we can't stop.
39:37Barmy, we can't stop.
39:37Barmy, we can't stop.
39:37Barmy, we can't stop.
39:37Barmy, we can't stop.
39:38Barmy, we can't stop.
39:40Barmy, we can't stop.
39:42Barmy, we can't stop.
39:46Barmy, we can't stop.
39:47have butter. You have an aunt nearby? No, no, but by me, if only Phipps does,
39:53Chastle Parva, the other way through the village, I would be, sir.
40:14There's two of them, though.
40:17Turn around. Turn around!
40:24Carry on, Dennis. Carry on, Ted.
40:32Oh, stop fast, damn Dennis.
40:35Oh, he hates the devil and all his works, Uncle Ted.
40:38Very commendable, Dennis.
40:40But this is a new car.
40:43They sent the police on us.
40:46I barely touched the lad.
40:51This must be it.
40:53Still he got up.
41:11Now, you mind your manager, Dennis. We're dealing with the upper crust here. They don't understand about boggies.
41:16All right, Uncle Ted.
41:26Ladies and gentlemen, dear friends.
41:31You all know my nephew, Cyril Fungi Phipps.
41:36Two creatures with blackened faces and horrible staring eyes.
41:42There are no creatures in this house, my good man.
41:45We have London pals.
41:46There are no people.
41:47There are no people.
41:48There are no people.
41:49There are no people.
41:49And so it is my proud privilege to present the Dover Street Jazzamaniacs.
42:08oh my god don't be feared nephew old buggy and his cunning has sought out the ideal place to
42:16conceal himself you mean some of them creatures up there is not buggies some of them's as human
42:21as you or me question is which ones
42:54wooster here
42:59arrest the boy
43:01oh
43:34With all due respect, Mr. Stoker, you could hardly think of allowing your only daughter
43:39to marry a gentleman as eccentric as Mr. Worcester.
43:43Hold hard, Jeeves.
43:46Nor would a sanatorium be likely to thrive were it to become known that not only the
43:50owner, but also the chief physician, had been arrested with blackened faces and charged
43:57with occasioning a breach of the peace.
43:59It will ruin me.
44:01Well, I'm not buying that goddamn house anyway.
44:04That would seem to be a pity, sir.
44:06If you would let me give Lord Chufnall your assurance that you would buy his house and
44:11that you will allow him to marry your daughter, I'm sure that he could persuade the magistrate
44:16to take a lenient view of your parts in this sorry affair.
44:21How can you be sure of that, Jeeves?
44:23I think you'll find, sir, that Lord Chufnall is in a unique position to affect such a persuasion.
44:30These are serious charges.
44:33But I'm inclined to believe that you, Alfred Trotsky, and you, Frederick Aloysius Lenin, were led astray, that you were
44:47discharged.
44:50But as for the rest of you, Wilkent Israeli, Wolfie Lloyd George, Barney Lord Tennyson, and the rest, not only
45:04have you been guilty of a breach of a piece of considerable magnitude, I also strongly suspect that you have
45:12given false names and addresses.
45:14You are each fine the sum of five pounds.
45:19Oh, I say.
45:20Quiet, Dr. Crippen.
45:30Well, I don't think there was any need to describe me as eccentric, Jeeves.
45:33It was a word that Mr. Stoker would readily understand and disapprove of, sir.
45:38It's essential that matters be brought to a speedy conclusion.
45:40Yes, I appreciate that.
45:42I, myself, meet some strange man, spend the night with him at a hotel, and you're not even jealous?
45:47Why should I be jealous?
45:48Bertie spent the night in his car.
45:50You don't know that.
45:51I do.
45:52I saw him.
45:54What do you mean?
45:55I saw everything you did in London.
45:57I followed you.
45:58You were that creature in the ginger beard.
46:00I thought it rather suited me.
46:01How dare you!
46:03You trust me so little you have to follow me about all day, you worm!
46:07But you were just complaining that I trusted you too much!
46:10That's a totally different thing!
46:12To care about me is one thing.
46:13To put on a false beard and trail about London after me...
46:16Yes, well, that bit of your little scheme seems to have gone rather aglade, Jeeves.
46:20Oh, I hardly think so, sir.
46:21I imagine that the young couple will spend much of their happily married lives in a state of similar emotional
46:27turmoil.
46:28Well, wouldn't do for me, Jeeves.
46:30Indeed not, sir.
46:31Would you say that?
46:34Pauline!
46:34Chufno!
46:35I was just saying to my good friend Sir Roderick here, we all ought to all go down to the
46:39yacht and open one or two bottles of the best champagne.
46:42Champagne?
46:43To celebrate the purchase of Chufno Hall?
46:46And your engagement.
46:49Oh, Daddy!
46:52Oh!
46:53This seems a bit chancy to me, Jeeves.
46:55Not entirely, sir.
46:56Sir, the essential goal was to demonstrate to Mr. Stoker that even an innocent man can sometimes come close to
47:01a criminal record.
47:03Well, how did you know he was going to be arrested when you set him ashore?
47:05It is often profitable to study local folklore, sir.
47:09It seemed unlikely that with his face blackened, Mr. Stoker would get very far on the night old bogies said
47:15to walk.
47:16Old bogies believed to knock on innocent persons' doors and, when they answer, to pull them down to hell by
47:23their garters.
47:24Garters, eh?
47:26What a mine of information you are, Jeeves.
47:28Thank you, sir.
47:29Well, that all went off quite well, I thought.
47:31You'll pardon me for saying so, Mr. Prosser, but it seems to me that it raises considerable difficulties for the
47:36Drones Club Dining Committee.
47:38The Dining Committee?
47:40Rule 27A, sir.
47:42No member with a criminal record may offer himself for election.
47:46Good God, you're right, Jeeves.
47:47We've all got criminal records now.
47:49I imagine, sir, that a further emendation of the rulebook might be indicated.
47:53In which case, I might still conceivably be persuaded to stand off here.
48:01Jeeves, I find it hard to believe that you thought it worth your while to get half the members of
48:06the Drones into the dock merely to ease my way onto the Dining Committee.
48:10The methods were perforce draconian, sir, but the stakes were high.
48:14The diminution in the wine bill each month should mean a considerable saving in the housekeeping.
48:49The DronesК areistors of the Drones'
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