- 13 hours ago
Minder S02E03 You Lose Some, You Win Some
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00:29I'll see you next time
00:40I could be so good for you
00:45Love you like you want me to
00:52I could be so good for you
00:57Love you like you want me to
01:34Special delivery, sir, from Manchester
01:39Anything to pay?
01:41Only attention
01:44Oh, smashy, how long have you got?
01:46A whole week, I've reported sick
01:48Oh, better get you to bed then
01:51Faites vous joues, madame, monsieur, faites vous joues
02:08Merci, madame
02:09Ah, ça paye
02:23Feeling, Maurice?
02:25Hello, Arthur
02:26I thought you promised more of you
02:28I have
02:28Oh, I can't keep away, eh?
02:30I know the feeling
02:31Heard indoors made me promise to give up the Gigi's once
02:33I spent all my time in the betting shops
02:35Without having a flutter?
02:36Oh, leave off, Maurice
02:37What was it Karl Marx said?
02:39If you could resist anything except temptation
02:40Faites vous joues, madame, monsieur
02:42Faites vous joues
02:4525
02:46Pardon?
02:4725
02:4725
02:4825
02:49You're supposed to be a maths teacher, aren't you?
02:52What?
02:57Good girl
03:02A friend of yours, Maurice?
03:05One of my students
03:06You're not gambling by proxy, are you?
03:08I am not a gambler, Arthur
03:10You know that
03:11I'm like any businessman who has done his homework
03:13I never make a move unless the odds are in my favour
03:17So why are you skin?
03:19With a wife like mine and two kids at Millfield
03:21Anybody would be skinned
03:22The word is that you done a packet at Crockford's
03:24That's why Maureen Blue to whistle on you
03:25I told that
03:26You've got to speculate
03:27To accumulate
03:28Why?
03:29It was development money
03:31Does he really have any help?
03:32Thank you
03:35Merci, monsieur
03:40Got to take a break, Mr. Lakers
03:43All right, Mr. Horner
03:44I'll keep your seat warm for you
03:52Another of your students, Maurice?
03:55Yeah
03:55What is this?
03:56An adult education course
03:59Teamwork, Arthur
04:00It's the only way to beat the house
04:03Monsieur
04:08What's your game, eh?
04:09Oh, I'm terribly sorry
04:10I didn't see you
04:12Look where you're going, mate
04:13Are you boozed up or something?
04:15Well, of course not
04:15It's just that I'm a little short-sighted, that's all
04:18Come off it
04:19You're completely legless
04:20Look at you
04:25What's all this about?
04:26Ask this joker
04:27Suddenly he took a swing at me
04:29I had a couple too many, if you ask me
04:31But I assure you, I haven't had a drink all evening
04:34Huh?
04:36Why do you smell like a bloody distillery?
04:38Come on, such
04:46Something wrong, Gord?
04:47He tried to smash up the washroom, Mr. Parsons
04:50Do you want to press charges?
04:52No
04:53Just show him the way out
04:55Go on
05:02Sellers
05:03Sellers
05:04Not many
05:06paws
05:07So we'll just wait for the hardest
05:11And
05:13You
05:13You
05:15You
05:16You
05:16You
05:25You
05:26You
05:32Hey, all members of your night class, Morris.
05:35Yeah.
05:37They don't look like punters.
05:40That's the point.
05:45Terry, what are you going to do?
05:50Well, I've got a few ideas.
05:51Hello, with your life.
05:53Oh, come on, love, I thought this was a social occasion.
05:55Well, what's going to happen when these muscles aren't muscle enough anymore?
06:00I don't know.
06:02I suppose I'll have to go back to flying Conchords.
06:06You never make any plans.
06:08You just drift around letting that arse I con you out of your hard-earned wages.
06:14You should be saving for a rainy day.
06:17Don't leave it out. It's raining hard enough already.
06:20I'm investing a whole week of my life in you, you lunatic.
06:25I want to know if it's worth investing any more.
06:29You'd better check out the interest rate.
06:31Oh, Terry!
06:32Shut up!
06:34Three...
06:34Four thousand...
06:36Eight hundred.
06:36There we are, sir.
06:42Luck had nothing to do with it, eh?
06:44Nothing.
06:45And there's a lot more where this came from.
06:47If we're allowed to finish what we started.
06:48Well, they can't chuck you all out.
06:50They don't have to.
06:51If they nabble just one of us, the whole coupon is none and void.
06:54Hey, hey, hey, your, um...
06:56Your pupils, they're using their own money.
07:01So you can't lose.
07:03What's your share of profits?
07:07Fifty percent.
07:08Fifty percent have been on five grand on one night.
07:11That's a result worth protecting, Morris.
07:16Could be big money, Terry.
07:17I've clocked the potential.
07:19Two of them won nearly five grand between them.
07:22Yeah, but how much did the others lose?
07:24Peanuts.
07:25That is the principle of Morris' system.
07:27See, working as a team, the punter is always ahead of the game.
07:30And what is more, Morris doesn't even use his own money.
07:33All right, sad they were lucky.
07:36Tomorrow, they'd be unlucky.
07:38Look, if Morris has a system and he says it works,
07:41that is good enough for me.
07:42He is a pro.
07:44Yeah, I know.
07:44I've seen him in action, remember?
07:46He's seen you in action, too.
07:48Which is why he wants to hire you.
07:50Hire me?
07:51Yeah, to look after his six punters.
07:53You see, if one of them can't take the field, the game's off.
07:58Oh, yeah, um...
07:59No, I'm sorry, mate.
08:00My flag's down this week.
08:02I'm on holiday.
08:04Holiday?
08:06Freelance like you, you can't have holidays.
08:08You have to take the work as it comes.
08:09No, he bloody doesn't.
08:11You ought to have more respect for Terry Arthur.
08:14You need him more than he needs you.
08:15I do not.
08:18Need him?
08:19You didn't mind us a two-a-penny.
08:21You don't mind us with brains.
08:22All right, I grant you, Terry is a slight cut above the average.
08:25But he isn't Henry Cooper, is he?
08:27He isn't exactly slowed under with offers of deodorant commercials.
08:29Look, Arthur, come on.
08:31Oi, oi, oi.
08:32Excuse me.
08:33Do you mind not talking about me as if I wasn't here?
08:37No, I'm sorry, Arthur.
08:38I'm not available.
08:42Oh, suit yourself, son.
08:44No, I'm just trying to slip you a quick 600.
08:48How much?
08:49Well, no point in talking about it if you're not interested.
08:52Six.
08:52Did you say 600 for just one week's work?
08:55Look, my agreement with Morris is 10% of his 50%.
08:58He reckons I can clear five grand a night, so work it out for yourself.
09:01No, maybe not.
09:02Look, six times 250 is 1,500.
09:04Split 60-40.
09:05No need to ask which way.
09:07Women.
09:08Always did get in the way of a relationship.
09:11You think about it, Terry.
09:12Give me a bell, eh?
09:13But don't leave it too long, because there's plenty of fellas who break a leg to earn that
09:16kind of money.
09:30It's four o'clock.
09:32Where the hell have you been?
09:34There was a shocking accident at...
09:36The Beaumont.
09:37Morris, you promised.
09:39No more poker, chamois, blackjack, calookey, roulette, in a word, no more gambling.
09:45I did not gamble.
09:47Oh, my mother's life, I did not have a single punt.
09:50Oh, you went to the Beaumont not to gamble.
09:52I was giving lessons.
09:54Lessons?
09:55Teaching some beginners how to bet.
09:56For that, they need a teacher.
09:57Sure, you've got to have a system, otherwise you're dead.
10:01These punters, how did they hear of you?
10:04I advertised.
10:05I didn't tell you morning, because I thought you might not go for it.
10:08You don't go for it.
10:11How much are you charging?
10:13That depends.
10:13On what?
10:14I must say when.
10:15Suppose they lose.
10:17I guarantee results.
10:18Like you've guaranteed results at Crockford's?
10:22That was a dry run.
10:23This is for real.
10:26So you are still gambling?
10:28With other people's money.
10:30Maureen, Maureen, Maureen, I have to make a living, haven't I?
10:35Are you sure you haven't been out with some bird?
10:38No.
10:40This is kosher.
10:41My word of honour.
10:44It's going to get me out from under.
10:45Well, just as long as there's no one else I have to get out from under.
10:55It's an offer you can't refuse, isn't it?
10:58600 quid.
10:59You must admit, it is a bit tempting.
11:01More tempting than me.
11:04Look, we'd still have all the days together.
11:07Just as long as you don't fall asleep.
11:09Now, when have I ever fallen asleep, eh?
11:15I just thought of something.
11:18Look, there are three birds on Morris's team, right?
11:21Well, there are some places I can't follow them.
11:23You're not trying to turn me into a minder.
11:25It means we've been together, wouldn't it?
11:27And you might earn yourself a few reddies, 100 quid or something.
11:30100 quid for a week with you?
11:32Makes me sound like a whore.
11:34Oh, get it out.
11:36If you were on the game, you could charge a lot more than that.
11:40Could I?
11:44I've got to be honest with you, Terry.
11:46It could get dodgy.
11:47I mean, they can't actually throw us out
11:48or we could complain to the gaming board.
11:50But they've started getting a bit naughty.
11:53Yeah, but I don't get it.
11:54Look, roulette is a game of chance, right?
11:56And the house always has the edge.
11:58So what have they got to be scared of?
11:59Well, they're scared of me.
12:01They know I never go into anything unless I have the edge.
12:03Here I am.
12:04Oh, cheers.
12:05You mean it's a sure thing?
12:07Bloody hell!
12:12Look, a team of six can cut down the chances of big losses to an absolute minimum.
12:18Every night, one or two of them will hit a winning run
12:21that can turn a small punt into a very big payout.
12:24Safety of numbers.
12:25I've spent a lot of time and effort on this system, Arthur.
12:27Now I want a result.
12:29How long do you want?
12:31A week.
12:32I'm not greedy.
12:32I just want a fair return on my investment.
12:34That manager, Parsons, he don't like losing.
12:38And already he's seen enough to know he's on a hide into nothing.
12:41Try another club.
12:42No, it's too late.
12:43The world will have gone round by now.
12:44They refuse this membership.
12:45Besides.
12:47Besides what?
12:48I owe him one.
12:49First he bars me from his poker tables.
12:51Now he's putting the frighteners on me punters.
12:53And they're getting a bit nervous, you mean?
12:55Well, they'd feel better if they had some protection.
12:59Right.
13:00You'll need some evening, schmutter Terrence.
13:02I might be able to help you there.
13:04Well, I've got that blue suit of mine.
13:05That's all right, isn't it?
13:05You can't wear that whole thing.
13:07No, you want a proper DJ.
13:08Bow tie, you know.
13:10Look, I've got a consignment of DJs here.
13:11Just in from Czechoslovakia.
13:12Get your jacket off.
13:14I'll rent you this one cheap.
13:16You'll rent it to me?
13:17Well, with an option to buy.
13:18Of course.
13:19Here, I'll try that on for size.
13:20Hold on.
13:21Get in the mirror, would you, Morris?
13:22Yeah.
13:22Top.
13:25What about Penny?
13:26No doubt you've got a concession of evening gowns from Romania.
13:30Funny you should say that.
13:31I know where I can lay my hands on a lovely little creation.
13:34One of next year's Paris collections.
13:36Next year?
13:37Yeah.
13:38A fella knows a fella.
13:40Been working there for months making copies.
13:42Look at that.
13:42Look at that, Terry.
13:43That could have been made for you.
13:44Ace.
13:46Seems a bit tight.
13:47Yeah?
13:48No, it's the way you're standing.
13:48Stand up straight.
13:49That's it.
13:50That's it.
13:50Lovely.
13:51There you are.
13:52Nice shirt to go with that.
13:53What do you want?
13:53Flat or frilly?
13:55Flat.
13:55Flat, yeah.
13:56Pair of pumps.
13:58Nice tie.
13:59Bow tie.
14:00Bow tie, yeah.
14:01Yeah, that's a bow tie.
14:02Yeah.
14:02I love it.
14:03Right.
14:03Hang on.
14:04I'll go and get one.
14:05You all right?
14:06Very tasty, Tom.
14:07Very tasty, Tom.
14:07Not bad, is it?
14:08Fancying myself?
14:09Yeah.
14:10Yeah.
14:14Three, nine, and three, more.
14:16What are you, no matter?
14:19Two million years, then you have paid.
14:21Who are all these people?
14:22Merci, madame.
14:23Um, housewife, accountant, building contractor, catering manageress, retired major.
14:31A pay-in-noir.
14:33Maths teacher.
14:33They're all gamblers, eh?
14:34No, no, none of them have ever played before.
14:37I didn't want spielers.
14:39They're liable to go off the rails and do their own thing.
14:42You expect them all to win?
14:43No, of course not.
14:44But with my system, the ones who win, win far more than the others lose.
14:49You'll see.
14:49Monsieur, faites, bonjour.
14:51All right, love.
14:52Thank you, madame, monsieur.
14:54Fait, bonjour.
14:54How are you doing?
14:55Monsieur le Capremien?
14:56I don't understand it.
14:57These guys are me.
14:58We find out how to win all evening.
15:00I should stick to the major if I'm in.
15:02He's cleaning up.
15:04It don't make no difference.
15:05Whoever I stick with, they all seem to wait a losing streak.
15:08Yes, Arthur, that's what I keep telling Terry.
15:20Oh, no, no, no, relax, relax, calm down.
15:23That's what it's happened, right?
15:26You okay, love?
15:27I'm all right.
15:30I'm back in a moment.
15:32Go ahead and look after her, please.
15:34All right, monsieur.
15:35But I'll wire her down.
15:37Uh, sorry, love.
15:38She's coming back.
15:39She'll only be a minute.
15:42Well, you took that very calmly.
15:45Well, the way things are going, I can afford a new one.
15:48Yes.
15:49I've been watching the major.
15:50He's over 3,000 a hand.
15:52Well, it's just as Maurice predicted.
15:54I think he's a genius, don't you?
15:57Can't seem to be.
15:59Oh, it's not that obvious, is it?
16:05I'm Perry Monk.
16:07I've been standing for hours.
16:11And not one of them have let me have a seat.
16:14Well, I mean, I'm not really into women's lift.
16:16A couple of Parsons bursts, probably.
16:18But you'd think some of these blokes would learn some manners.
16:21How's the injury, Mr. Orner?
16:23Oh, a bit painful, Mr. Michelson.
16:27Must be all the damp weather we've been having.
16:50Mr. Michelson, would you mind taking over for me just for a moment?
16:53Yes, all right.
16:54Uh, quick as you can, eh?
16:56Uh, excuse me, Santa.
17:01Not your territory, this, eh, Major?
17:03I beg your pardon?
17:04Take my advice.
17:05Quit while you're ahead.
17:06While you stay healthy.
17:09Were you threatening me?
17:11Just trying to save you some grief.
17:13Look what happened to America when she tried to fight on someone else's ground.
17:16I shall report you to the manager.
17:18What's your name?
17:18Waste of time.
17:19Pulling a ring won't do you no good in here.
17:22Then I'll complain to the gaming board.
17:24Oh, I shouldn't do that, Major.
17:26Got your address from the membership book.
17:28Be making some inquiries.
17:30Your old lady.
17:31Drives a Ford Cortina, right?
17:34Her registration number...
17:38SHV876R.
17:38Fell in the garage, told me the brakes were a bit dodgy.
17:41Wouldn't surprise him if she had a nasty accident one of these days.
17:45And if she does, we know who it's down to, won't we?
17:47Who are you?
17:49I am the Major's Batman.
17:51I do all his dirty jobs.
17:53Yeah, well, er...
17:54I was just saying, er...
17:56You should take the money and run.
17:58Thank you, Major.
17:59If you don't mind.
18:02I need a little chat.
18:10You are well out of order, Sunbeam.
18:13Now, you tell your boss, if any of my girls and boys are hurt, I will come looking for him.
18:18No, you won't.
18:19You're on your tod, aren't you?
18:21So you're just going to have to swallow it.
18:23You reckon?
18:24Yeah.
18:27There's six of them, right?
18:28Not counting Michelson.
18:30You can't mind them all.
18:34Just you watch me.
18:46We've got a problem.
18:48Why?
18:50I think they're going to try something.
18:51Probably away from here.
18:53What?
18:53How do you mean?
18:54Well, they've got all the names and the addresses from the membership book, haven't they?
18:58How do you suss that out?
18:59I just caught with Geezer trying to put the screws on the Major.
19:03Now, luckily, they picked the wrong bloke, right?
19:05And it's not going to take much to scare some of the others off, is it?
19:08And I can't split myself six ways, can I?
19:10No.
19:13We're going to have to keep them all together, all the time.
19:15Yeah, I think you're right.
19:17Where?
19:17Hotel or something?
19:18No, no, no, no, no.
19:19That's money.
19:20Hey, how about your drum?
19:23My drum?
19:23Yeah.
19:25Leave it out.
19:26I've only got one bed, remember?
19:27And I like to choose who I share it with.
19:29You got the floor, haven't you?
19:31Then I can lay my hands on some very high-class sleeping bags.
19:35Mate of mine bought a job lot from the last Everest expedition.
19:37I'm sorry, mate.
19:38Penny would never wear it.
19:39I'll tell you what I'll do.
19:41I will split the tape with you, 50-50.
19:44Now, I cannot say fairer than that, can I?
19:49Well, no.
19:52She took a week off just to spend it with me.
19:55Oh, she will be spending it with you.
19:57Well, so will half the population of Bleeding London.
20:00Look, look.
20:01Look on it as a sort of test.
20:03If she stays the course, then she really cares.
20:07Well, if she don't, give it that.
20:16Another three nights, you're ready for us, eh?
20:18That's all we need, and we'll murder them.
20:20Don't you worry.
20:21They'll be quite safe.
20:24Terry?
20:35Oh, dear, oh, dear.
20:36Yeah, no sweat, Morris.
20:38By the end of the week, they'll be buying you a complete new motor.
20:42Hold on, hold on.
20:43No.
20:43Hang loose a bit.
20:44Keep calm.
20:49Yeah.
20:50Um, look after them, will you?
20:52You and Arthur.
20:53Tell them I'll, uh, I'll get a cab.
20:56Well, keep calm, then.
20:57All right, special your car's up, and we'll go back in coffee.
21:01Oh, Morris, you're a lovely car.
21:03Oh, my mini's just outside.
21:06Can I drop, can you?
21:18Milk, but no sugar.
21:22Coffee, please.
21:24Strong and black.
21:26Have you any cocoa?
21:28Or hot chocolate?
21:29I'll see.
21:35Two teas, two coffees, and a cocoa.
21:38Cocoa?
21:39Or hot chocolate.
21:41Make it three teas, then.
21:46Could you do it, please?
21:47I'll just...
21:52Here you are.
21:53Six sleeping bags.
21:54Still in their original cellophane.
21:56I thought you said these were used in an Everest expedition.
21:59Yeah.
21:59Yeah, well, I mean, they had to go to the cleaners when they come back from the MLS.
22:03I'll see.
22:04And this is the original dry-cleaners cellophane, is it?
22:06That's it, my son.
22:11Everything all right?
22:12Everyone quite comfortable?
22:14Comfortable?
22:15I was more comfortable out in Kenya fighting the mamma.
22:18I'll be fair, Major.
22:20You had all your amenities out there.
22:21Naffy stuff, a cut-price booze.
22:23All the local talent you could manage.
22:25You can't expect Mr McCann to compete with that, can you?
22:27Terry?
22:29How long are these people staying?
22:33Well, it's a bit of a...
22:35Come on, out with it.
22:36How long do we have to put up for this invasion?
22:39Well, Arthur thinks, um, maybe a week.
22:43The whole week?
22:46You invest...
22:46That'll make it up to you.
22:48No, I don't fancy playing love scenes in the middle of Piccadilly Circus.
22:53Oh, come on, there'll be other weeks.
22:54You wouldn't bet on it.
22:57Oh, if that's anybody else wanting to make a reservation, tell them you've got plenty of room.
23:01There's a couple of inches you haven't let behind the record player yet.
23:04What is it?
23:06Isn't that key ready yet?
23:09Hello?
23:09Tell.
23:10Oh, hello.
23:11Maureen's been snatched.
23:13Are you sure?
23:14Of course I'm sure.
23:16All her clothes are still here.
23:18And her jewellery.
23:19I mean, can you imagine Maureen taking off in the middle of the night without her sparklers?
23:22And you reckon it's Parsons?
23:23It's got to be.
23:25I'd get her back as long as I promise never to darken these doors again.
23:29Well, that's a job for the old Bill, innit?
23:31No, no, look, well, old Uptel.
23:33I mean, er, I'd rather keep it in the family.
23:37See what you can do, eh?
23:38Me?
23:39Well, if the old Bill gets a bit busy, there'll be no more pay nights at the tables.
23:42The publicity could finish us.
23:44Oh, yeah.
23:45And what's a wife compared with a wheel and a little white bull, eh?
23:49Taddle.
23:54Arthur.
23:55Come here.
23:59You been hanging about here for a while?
24:01Why, what's the problem?
24:02It's Morris's old woman.
24:04He thinks they're holding her to put the black on him.
24:07What can you do?
24:08Well, I don't know. Slap a few wrists, I suppose.
24:10Hey, look, I did a deal with Morris for you to mine this lot for him.
24:13If you're going to go tearing around looking for Maureen, I'm going to have to renegotiate.
24:16That's right, Arthur.
24:17Yeah.
24:18And if I have to fish her out of the river, that's got to be worth another ten percent, innit?
24:22Terry?
24:22Where are you going?
24:25Oh, there's someone at the door.
24:28Hello, love, come in.
24:29Come in.
24:31Just in...
24:47Sorry, mate, we're closed.
24:49Is Parsons here?
24:51He's counting the take.
24:53He won't see no one.
24:55Where do you think you're going?
24:57To talk to Parsons.
24:59What about?
24:59That's between him and me.
25:01Wrong.
25:02It's between you and me.
25:05You say so?
25:07Hold it.
25:12Oh, you've got a nerve coming back here.
25:15We could really smack you around a bit.
25:17Know what I mean?
25:18Then hand the pieces to the old bill.
25:21No, you wouldn't do that.
25:22Why not?
25:23You wouldn't fancy the scandal.
25:25What scandal?
25:27Terry McCann.
25:28Hired muscle.
25:30Late of HM prisons, comes barging into the club and tries to nick the take.
25:34In the ensuing struggle, members of the staff try to restrain him, and he breaks his arm.
25:41Nothing scandalous about that, is there?
25:43Oh, but it wouldn't only be my arm that got broken, would it?
25:46I mean, there'd be a lot of other damage.
25:48Oh, that's all right.
25:50We're fully insured.
25:52Even for kidnapping.
25:54What?
25:55You've snatched Mickelson's wife.
25:57That's why you can't call the old bill.
26:00Come and sit down, Mr. McCann.
26:12One minute you're going to break my arm, the next minute it's come and sit down.
26:17Now, what is your game?
26:18How'd you like to work for me?
26:21Why?
26:22Why?
26:23Because I pay damn good wages, that's why.
26:25Huh?
26:26What is the going rate for kidnapping these days?
26:30Suit yourself.
26:33Tell Mickelson he can have his wife back, if he takes his punter somewhere else.
26:40She's okay, is she?
26:41All completely unharmed.
26:43And if your governor does as he's told, she'll stay that way.
26:48That's the deal, then.
26:50That's the deal.
26:53Right.
26:54Right!
26:55Now you tell your monkeys to back off or I'll break your neck!
26:58Do as it says!
27:03Come on, where is she?
27:04I don't know, honest!
27:05Are we going to have to do this the hard way?
27:07Look, I didn't even...
27:09I didn't even know she was missing till you told me.
27:12Look, McCain, we might go a bit over the top occasionally,
27:17but kidnapping there's not our game.
27:19Take my word.
27:21Take his word?
27:22Why should we take his word?
27:24Because if it was him who snatched Maureen,
27:26he wouldn't have changed his story, would he?
27:27He'd want to keep the pressure on, right?
27:29So why wouldn't he tell us he was holding her?
27:31Maybe because you was holding him and he was a bit short of breath at the time.
27:34All he had to do was give me a false address and he was off the hook.
27:37No, I believe he's telling the truth.
27:40All right.
27:41So where is she?
27:44I'm sorry, old son, but that's your problem, isn't it?
27:46I've got to be getting back.
27:47Hang on a minute, Terry.
27:48I've got to find her and you've got to help me.
27:50Well, why not report her missing?
27:51Well, she's not missing, is she?
27:52Yet.
27:53Well, I mean, not for certain.
27:56I reckon you and me, we could, uh,
27:58we could ask around a bit first, couldn't we?
28:00Hold on, hold on.
28:01What about that flat full of punters you've given me?
28:03Well, Arthur can look after them.
28:05Oh, look, that bird of yours, do you think...
28:06What's her name?
28:08Penny.
28:08Yeah, uh, Penny.
28:09I mean, do you think she'd come round here and sit by her phone?
28:12As it happens, I think she'd do anything to get out of there at the moment.
28:15But you've got to ask her.
28:17Well, not exactly flavour of the month at the moment.
28:19Um, I don't suppose you've ever seen this one, have you?
28:23Oh, if you've ever seen it, you might see it or something like this.
28:26Is she biking?
28:27No.
28:28So she's not allowed to go there.
28:31That's how I'm going to go.
28:32What?
28:34She'll be cutting back the toilet.
28:37Yeah.
28:37Yeah.
29:02Um, would it be possible for us to have a drink when we finish work?
29:06No.
29:14Oh, yeah.
29:15I remember her.
29:17She was in here yesterday round, um, tea time.
29:21Told the man Dressa's scones was stale.
29:23Gave her a right rollicking.
29:25Was anyone with her?
29:26Yeah, another lady.
29:27What's she look like?
29:29Big, lousy, a bit past it, if you know what I mean.
29:32Dripping with furs and jewels.
29:34Sadie!
29:35You know who it is?
29:36Yeah.
29:37She's an old bat that Mo plays bridge with.
29:39She caught her husband in bed with the au pair.
29:41Took him for the national debt.
29:42Now she carries on a one-woman crusade on behalf of the downtrodden wives of Emden.
29:50Down-trodden?
29:51Look, no offence, Morris, but Mo is about as downtrodden as Margaret Thatcher.
29:55Well, we've got to find out, haven't we?
29:57What?
29:57If Sadie's been putting a boot in.
30:09We'd like to work with Mrs Gilbert, please.
30:11Morris Michelson.
30:14I'll see if she's in.
30:18Oh, cheeky cow.
30:21Jason, are you sure you want me along?
30:23You're supposed to be a minder, aren't you?
30:25This is where you start earning your wages.
30:29This way, sir.
30:37Sadie, long time no see.
30:39How you been?
30:40You're looking wonderful.
30:41Cut the crap, Morris.
30:42The reason we don't meet is we can't stand the sight of each other.
30:47Who's the little boy blue?
30:49This is, er, Terry McCann.
30:52He's helping me look for Maureen.
30:54Taken off again, has she?
30:55About time, too.
30:57I was wondering if you knew where she was.
30:59Me?
31:00Why should I?
31:01Well, for a start, you spent yesterday afternoon with her down at Great Cross.
31:05We have been having a nosy, haven't we?
31:07Did she say anything about going away?
31:10What do you care?
31:12Sadie, be nice.
31:14I'm her husband.
31:15It's a bit late now, isn't it?
31:18If you wanted a keeper, you should have started acting like I was born years ago.
31:21Now, what's that supposed to mean?
31:23You're a schmuck, Morris.
31:24You always have been, and you always will be.
31:27I've told Maureen.
31:28What can I say?
31:29If there's anything I can ever do for you, don't ask me.
31:33It's what you've ever done for her.
31:34You're a lazy, good-for-nothing scrounger who can't even be bothered to get a job.
31:39I've got a job.
31:39Just because I don't work regular hours don't mean I haven't got a job.
31:44Gambling's not a job.
31:45It's just an excuse for a night out with the boys and the girls.
31:48Oi, hold on.
31:50Now, what are you on about?
31:52Oh, it talks.
31:53I beg your pardon?
31:55This geezer has just lost his missus, right?
31:57He don't need all these verbals.
31:59Now, do you know where she is or don't you?
32:00As it so happens, I don't.
32:02And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you.
32:04That I can believe.
32:05Look, if she's decided she's had enough, good luck to her.
32:08The best thing she can do is get a divorce.
32:11What, and take him to the cleaners like you did your old man?
32:13I think you'd better leave.
32:15I think you're right.
32:16Come on, son.
32:17She obviously don't fancy fellas.
32:25You could break that.
32:32Woman?
32:33What's she sound like?
32:34If you'd sent that sort of message through the mail,
32:36you'd have to wrap it in a plain cover.
32:39Well, she didn't seem to be in any trouble.
32:41Trouble?
32:42If she could have reached through the phone,
32:44I'd be the one in trouble.
32:46It's got to be Mo.
32:47Yeah, but why does she walk out like that?
32:50Do you have a row or something?
32:53Nothing important.
32:54She accused me of being out with a bird,
32:55but I told her it was strictly business.
32:57Does she believe it?
32:59Yeah.
33:00I mean, she wasn't too pleased when she heard what her business was,
33:04but...
33:05Well, I said I've got to make a living.
33:07So the last time you saw her was when she left for Brent Cross, right?
33:10Yeah.
33:11Where she met Sadie,
33:12who probably told her you were no good for her.
33:14Yeah, she's heard all that crap before.
33:16That's no reason for her to suddenly go on the missing list.
33:2012.
33:36She came back.
33:38She came back after I left for the club.
33:41Hold on.
33:43Look, if you're thinking of leaving someone,
33:45you don't go shopping, bring the gear back and then leg it, do you?
33:48Why not?
33:50Pass.
33:52Hold on, hold on.
33:53What?
33:54I've just remembered where I've seen that Sadie before.
33:57Where?
33:57In the club last night.
33:59Sadie?
34:00Yeah.
34:02Well, she's no gambler.
34:04She's always telling more in.
34:05It's a mugs game.
34:09How about this?
34:11Maureen meets Sadie at Brent Cross, right?
34:13Maureen goes on about she thinks you're up to naughties.
34:16Sadie wants to play detective.
34:18So she goes down the club,
34:20sees you leave with the Welsh bit,
34:22phones up Maureen and tells her she's right.
34:24This Sadie?
34:26Big, brassy woman, mid-forties?
34:30One hundred.
34:31She came into the ladies when Jackie and I were talking.
34:33She must have overheard what we were talking about.
34:37Well, what were you talking about?
34:39Maureen.
34:40And how she fancied him.
34:42Oh, my God.
34:45That still doesn't explain why all her stuff is still here.
34:47I mean, where can a woman go without a change of clothes?
34:50Nudist colony?
34:51Hmm.
34:52No, sorry.
34:55Close.
34:57The Grange.
34:58The what?
34:59The Grange.
34:59It's a health farm near Arkley.
35:01Maureen goes there when she's depressed.
35:03Ah, there you go then.
35:04No.
35:05There you go, my son.
35:06You're going to have to bring her back, Tal.
35:07Listen, you can explain to her that there is absolutely nothing,
35:11nothing between me and that bird.
35:13I mean, maybe she'll listen to you.
35:14Yes, you, Tal.
35:14Ma'am.
35:15Manage that, can you, Terry?
35:17Just describe the relationship between you and me.
35:19She'll get the picture.
35:23Come on, Penny.
35:25Listen, there's no need for you to throw a mood at me.
35:28Well, I feel like a trickle-arggly.
35:30Never know, I might even treat you to a sauna.
35:32Sweet of you, Terry.
35:33But all I need is a bed.
35:35A single bed.
35:41See what you've done, Morris?
35:42Started a bleeding epidemic.
35:44After you've heated it up, then you let it cool down.
35:47And then when it really starts to congeal,
35:49can you use pistachios instead of strawberries?
35:52I'm mad about pistachios.
35:54Oh, yes.
35:55Yes, I suppose you could do.
35:56You'd have to chop them up very fine, of course.
35:58Then you could spike the vanilla with a little kiss.
36:02Oh, shut up.
36:04I beg your pardon.
36:05I came here for some peace and quiet,
36:07not to listen to a couple of potbellies rumbling.
36:10Excuse me, ladies.
36:11I just want to put word with Mrs Microson.
36:13That's it, son.
36:13You take her home to Dad.
36:15This is no place for skeletons.
36:17Um, can we...
36:19Can we go somewhere and...
36:20Look, you're wasting your time, Terry.
36:22Morris wants her to come back.
36:24He's ever so upset.
36:25So upset he sent the office boy.
36:26He had to go to the club, look after his punters.
36:28That Welsh tart, you mean?
36:30She's the one he's looking after.
36:31He's not chasing that bird, honestly.
36:34Sadie got it all wrong.
36:35You talked to Sadie?
36:37Yeah, right mixer, that is.
36:38I suppose the voice that answered the phone at my own home was a recording.
36:41No, that was Penny.
36:43Penny?
36:43That's my bird.
36:44She was just answering the phone while we went to Brent Cross.
36:47To look for me?
36:48Yeah.
36:50You got a motor, Terry?
36:52Yeah.
36:53Only tang about, then.
36:56Well, what shall I tell Morris?
36:58Terry, I'll be back tomorrow.
36:59Oh.
37:00Traffic.
37:02Monsieur, rien ne va plus.
37:22You shouldn't have sent Terry out of town, Morris.
37:24You really shouldn't have.
37:25I mean, who's going to look after this lot if there's any bother?
37:28There won't be any bother.
37:30If they start anything, then Otero will come looking for them.
37:33That'll be a lot of use to us with our legs in plaster, won't it?
37:36Oh, sir.
37:37Relax.
37:39You're insured against minor injuries, aren't you?
37:41You have got no priorities, Morris.
37:43That is your trouble.
37:44There's plenty of time to go looking for your wife when all this is over.
37:47No point in leaving your investment unprotected.
37:49It is not unprotected.
37:52We've got you, haven't we?
37:57Oh, it's unsure.
37:59Anything wrong?
37:59Not many.
38:00I've seen kids do it better than that.
38:01I don't know what you're talking about.
38:03No.
38:04Get your coat off.
38:05Don't be funny.
38:06Mr. Parsons.
38:08Yes, Mr. Michelson.
38:10A friend here.
38:12He's got two 1,000 chips up his sleeve.
38:15He took them from the top of this lady's pile.
38:17I want him searched.
38:18Now, look here.
38:18Just a moment, sir.
38:20You realize, Mr. Michelson, that's a very serious accusation.
38:23And if it proves to be unfounded, this gentleman could sue you for slander.
38:26I will.
38:26I didn't ask for legal advice.
38:28I asked to have him searched.
38:30Very well.
38:30Shall we do it in the office?
38:32Please continue, ladies and gentlemen.
38:40Come on, for I need a witness.
38:41You sure about this?
38:42I mean, wouldn't it be better just to forget it?
38:45Forget it?
38:46Two grand?
38:48I think you're not well.
38:50I won't be if I go in now.
38:52Come on.
38:55George, help the gentleman off with his coat, would you?
39:04Now, Mr. Michelson, you say this gentleman has chips up his sleeve.
39:08Which one?
39:08The right one.
39:10Roll up your sleeve, sir, please.
39:13Please.
39:15Please.
39:25That's enough.
39:27Take Mr. Michelson outside.
39:29I suggest the back door.
39:31Take him for a drive.
39:32And convince him it would be in his best interests not to come back.
39:38Go.
39:39You won't get away with this, Parsons.
39:41My life!
39:42You will not get away with me.
39:44Arthur, come with me.
39:45What?
39:46I'm going to get a stump in.
39:47Yeah, well, I told you not to stick your neck out.
39:52Sorry about that, Mr. Parsons.
39:54He's not himself tonight.
39:55Bit of wife trouble.
39:57Not your fault, Mr. Daly.
39:59Friend of yours, is he?
40:00Friend?
40:00No, no, no, no.
40:01Nothing like that, no, no.
40:02Harder than him.
40:04All right.
40:10Oh, my God.
40:34Oh, my God!
40:37Oh!
40:39Oh!
40:45Be careful!
40:46All right, now!
40:51Cheers, Tal.
40:53Have a look in his pocket, will you?
40:56There should be two grinding chips.
41:00Oh!
41:00Oh!
41:02Oh!
41:03Oh!
41:04Oh!
41:04Oh!
41:05Right, nice. Bloody amateurs, trying to con a pro.
41:19Monsieur, rien ne va plus.
41:24Arthur.
41:25Oh, Terence, nice of you to show up.
41:27Eh?
41:28Taking off for foreign parts and leaving your Reverend Guy to Mentor to fend for himself.
41:32Foreign parts? I went to Hartley.
41:34Yeah, well, as long as you're not expecting any wages for tonight, that's all.
41:37Hold on, I thought we were on a percentage.
41:39Yeah, here we are.
41:40But the percentage will have to be adjusted, won't it?
41:42I mean, naturally.
41:44Oh, yeah, naturally.
41:45Hey, hey, you see Morris?
41:47Yeah, outside.
41:48He was getting a good hiding.
41:49Oh, my God.
41:50Nah, don't worry, he's all right.
41:51He's gone home.
41:52He won't shoot the cash up and then back to his gaff for the share out.
41:55Thank God for that, I tell the punters.
41:57Here.
41:58Better have that.
42:01Good boy.
42:03That's why we get on so well together, you and me.
42:06We can trust each other.
42:11Ten and a half from the other two nights, that makes 27 grand.
42:16Thirteen and a half is mine and thirteen and a half split six ways is 2,250 each for you.
42:22Mr. McCann, if you would do the honors.
42:27Thank you very much.
42:27Good night.
42:29I'm sure you'll all agree with me when I say that we've had the time of our lives.
42:34Well, that's lovely.
42:34That is lovely.
42:35Good night.
42:36Good night.
42:37Good night.
42:37Good night.
42:39Thank you very much.
42:40You know, I still don't see why we can't go on.
42:42Well, Major, as the Duke of Wellington said, when they'd done their brains, put the boot in.
42:47Maybe we'll get together again sometime.
42:50Yes.
42:50Yes, maybe.
42:51Do you gentlemen need financial guidance?
42:53Just give me a bell.
42:54Any hour of the day or night.
42:55There we are, my dears.
42:56Arthur Davis, 24 hour man.
42:59Good night.
43:00There we are, my dears.
43:03Good night.
43:04Good night, Maurice.
43:05I pity we couldn't finish what we started.
43:08For you it's a pity, for me it's muscle.
43:10Good night.
43:13Ten percent to thirty and a half grand.
43:16Thirty and fifty, right?
43:17Right.
43:18What's fifty percent of that?
43:19Hold hard, young Terence.
43:21Oh, here we go.
43:23What's that mean then?
43:25Well, it's always hold hard, young Terence, when it's time for my wages, innit?
43:28Listen, I did a grand at the tables.
43:30That's down to you.
43:31What you talking about?
43:32That's legitimate expenses.
43:34I had to do a bit of punting while I was supervising the operation.
43:37Supervising?
43:37Watching them raking their chips?
43:39Oh, that's bleeding hard work, innit?
43:40And another thing, you didn't turn up tonight.
43:43I turned up in time to save you two grand.
43:45No, I'm not saying you was wasting your time.
43:48But what you was doing was a favour to Morris.
43:50And I reckon he should foot the bill.
43:53Fair enough.
43:54If and when she comes back, it's worth a ton.
43:58There you are, there's another one.
43:59Two hundred quid for two days' work.
44:01You can't grumble, son, can you?
44:03Stick with me, I'll make you a millionaire.
44:06I don't think I could have fooled it, Arthur.
44:08Eh?
44:10If I ever got my hands on a million, I'd still end up owing you two.
44:17Terry, I almost forgot.
44:19That bird of yours.
44:20Come on, turn off your nose.
44:22Oh, have a listen.
44:25Dear Terry, I've decided to take myself off the sick list.
44:28My doctor's been so busy, he's been unable to give me his undivided attention.
44:32So I'm off to the north, where they take better care of their patients.
44:37Penny.
44:39Well, what can I tell you?
44:42Win some, you lose some.
44:44Cheers, doll.
44:45Cheers.
44:52What's up?
44:53You won't start.
44:55Do you want to slide over and let me have a go?
45:11It's funny.
45:12I haven't got the knack, I suppose.
45:16Maybe I should follow in my motor, just in case it stalls or something.
45:20Maybe you should.
45:41You lose some, you win some.
45:44Brr.
45:45Brr.
45:46Oh, my God.
45:50Oh, my God.
46:46Oh, my God.
46:55Oh, my God.
47:04Oh, my God.
47:05Oh, my God.
47:07Oh, my God.
47:08Oh, my God.
47:09Oh, my God.
47:09Oh, my God.
47:09Oh, my God.
47:09Oh, my God.
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