- 1 day ago
Jeeves and Wooster S02E03 Pearls Mean Tears
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00To be continued...
01:30I'm sure you're disappointed.
01:31No, no, sir.
01:32I wanted to go to Captain Teague, too.
01:35Hardly the same thing, is it?
01:37Westcombe-on-Sea?
01:39I'm sure it will be most agreeable, sir.
01:51Good morning, the doors, please.
01:53I mean, what can I ever want, jeez?
01:56I could not say, sir.
01:58Not like her to lash out on a telegram to me.
02:00Indeed not, sir.
02:05The last time she sent a telegram was to a dog.
02:08A dog, sir?
02:09Yes, I was looking after Mackintosh for her, and the poor chap had gone off his feet.
02:14She sent a telegram from the south of France saying,
02:16eat up your nice food and mummy will be back on Tuesday.
02:19Did the animal's appetite improve, sir?
02:21Not noticeably.
02:22You're letting a telegram, then?
02:34Good afternoon, sir.
02:35Welcome to Westcombe.
02:52Westcombe will be good for you, so much better than spending your time in stuffy London nightclubs.
02:57Yes, but...
02:58Come along, Bertie.
02:59Now, Bertie, I have met just the girl I'd like to see you marry.
03:03Oh, I don't want to get married.
03:05Her name is Aileen Hemingway, a nice, quiet girl.
03:09Oh, so different to those bold girls one meets in London nowadays.
03:14Well, I like bold girls.
03:15Stop interrupting, Bertie.
03:17Her brother is curate at Chipkey and the Glen in Dorsted.
03:21We've become great friends.
03:23But I'm young, and he tells me that they're connected to the Kent Hemingways.
03:28I want to enjoy life.
03:29You should be breeding children, Bertie.
03:33I say, dash it, aren't I, Agatha?
03:34Oh, be quiet, Bertie.
03:36Ah, here they are.
03:38Aileen dear, Sydney, I want you to meet my nephew, Bertie Worcester.
03:43Such a surprise.
03:44I had no idea he intended coming to Westcombe.
03:48How do you do, Mr. Worcester?
03:49Ah, how do you do?
03:51Welcome to Westcombe-on-Sea, Mr. Worcester.
03:53Welcome, welcome.
03:55Oh, thank you.
03:56Yes.
03:57Oh, Sydney, doesn't Mr. Worcester remind you of, er, Canon Blenkinsop, who came to Chipley to preach last Easter?
04:03Yes.
04:05Yes.
04:05Yes, the resemblance is most striking.
04:08The Hemingways have kindly offered to show you, Westcombe-on-Bertie.
04:40The Municipal Gardens
04:43First laid out in their present form in 1907
04:46Provide a haven of peace and tranquility for the weary traveler
04:53Here the spirit may be refreshed by a merdent brot
04:57And an abundance of glory
05:22I met well before it this time, Jeeves
05:24I trust not so
05:26I mean, I don't pretend to be Sherlock Holmes or anything
05:28But I took one look at this Aileen Hemingway
05:31And I said to myself, Bertie, that girl plays the organ in the village church
05:35And the air for music is often a blessing
05:37In whiling away the long winter evenings around the family hearth, sir
05:41There isn't going to be any whiling, Jeeves
05:43Not with me and Miss Hemingway, there isn't
05:45Very good, sir
05:46Have you ever seen a floral clock, Jeeves?
05:48I've not had that pleasure, sir
05:50No, well, don't
05:50Have nothing whatever to do with floral clocks
05:53If a friend says just one more floral clock can't do you any harm, be firm
05:56I shall do as you recommend, sir
05:59I wonder if I might crave a boon, sir
06:03Crave away, Jeeves
06:04A family matter requires my presence in the metropolis tomorrow
06:08Jeeves, you're not going to leave me alone with the Hemingways
06:11I shall be back by tea time, sir
06:13A niece of mine has contracted an unfortunate alliance
06:17And the mother has asked that I might reason with the child
06:21Oh, very well, Jeeves
06:22Thank you, sir
06:23Will that be all, sir?
06:25Yes, that's all
06:25Ah
06:39Sidney, have you got the kind?
06:41Why, Ian, there's Mr. Worcester
06:44Well, don't remember
06:45I'm always everywhere
06:46What's in the king of the fuck?
07:03Oh, Bertie
07:05Ah, what do I want, Agatha?
07:07Have you seen the Hemingways this morning?
07:09Ah, well, no, I was going to talk to you about that
07:11They have arranged a little excursion for you to the museum in Ilmuth
07:15Look, I don't want to go to any blasted museum, Bertie
07:22Kindly restrain your language, Bertie
07:26The Ilmuth Museum is renowned for its collection of napped flints
07:31Ah, well, that's the trouble, you see
07:33Only last week the doctor said I wasn't even to look at another napped flint
07:36Sad, I know, but
07:37Don't talk drivel, Bertie
07:39And stand up straight
07:41And stand up straight
08:33My word, Aline
08:36What a splendid collection of arrowheads
08:41A collection of flint arrowheads
08:44Found by Mr. George Foster in his garden in Little Ilmuth
08:48Presented to the Ilmuth Museum
08:50By his widow, Mrs. Moore Foster
08:52On the occasion of their wedding anniversary, October 1922
08:57What a romantic story, Mr. Worcester
09:01Yes!
09:08Ah, Jeeves, you're back
09:10Thank heavens, I thought I was going to be left on my own forever
09:13Just me, Aileen Hemingway and a napped flint
09:16I caught the 2.30 train, sir
09:19Brandy and solo, Jeeves
09:21Very good, sir
09:21Very good, sir
09:22Did you have a pleasant afternoon, sir?
09:25You have a cruel streak, Jeeves
09:27I hadn't realised it before
09:28What blighter was it that invented the bicycle?
09:31The first truly rideable machine was made by Mr. Kirkpatrick McMillan of Dumfreeshire in Scotland
09:38In, um, 1839, I believe, sir
09:41Yeah
09:41Too late to do anything about it now, I suppose
09:43I fear so, sir
09:46Uh, Mr. Biffin called you up on the telephone while you were out, sir
09:51Biffin?
09:51Good heavens, what does he want?
09:53He did not confide in me, sir
09:54Except to say that he is staying in Westcombe at the Hotel Riviera
09:58And would call on you later
10:00Well, well, well, well
10:01Oh, Biffin!
10:03I thought he was safely stowed away in Herefordshire
10:05Wearing gaiters and prodding pigs
10:08So, make a welcome break from the Hemingways
10:10As to that, sir
10:12It occurred to me that a day at the racecourse tomorrow might provide a pleasant interlude
10:17It might also serve as a means of evading the Reverend Hemingway and his sister
10:22Jeeves, the nostrils positively quiver
10:25Like an old warhorse scenting battle
10:27Can you make the arrangements?
10:28I've taken the liberty, sir
10:30Of ordering a hamper and hiring a car
10:43Well, this is the life, eh, Jeeves?
10:44Most agreeable, Sam
10:50Now, you wouldn't get this in on team, Jeeves
10:53Oh, by the by, I didn't ask you how you got on with your niece yesterday
10:56Not well, I fear, sir
10:58The young suitor with whom she had become embroiled
11:01Seems to be not so much inappropriate as missing
11:04He has jilted her, sir
11:06Ah, these young chaps, Jeeves
11:08Very true, sir
11:09Anyway, what about blue bottle for the next?
11:12I think not, sir
11:14The animal was standing at sixes at last night's call over
11:17And has since lengthened to fifteen to two
11:19So it seems likely that something untoward is known
11:23Ah, banana fritter?
11:24A much more attractive proposition, sir
11:26A very lively creature, I'm told
11:29And although somewhat light-boned, not lacking in stamina
11:32Right
11:33A fiver on the nose on banana fritter, then, Jeeves
11:39A very lively creature, I'm told
11:51What a good song, what a good song.
12:22Well, they'll never find me here, Jeeves.
12:24I trust not, sir.
12:25No, Jeeves, after yesterday's splendid day at the races, I feel lucky.
12:30Are you, er, quite comfortable, sir?
12:32You know, Jeeves, I don't know what I am, yes.
12:34This might catch on.
12:36In that case, I shall turn to the hotel, sir, and continue with our ironing.
12:41Oh, did we, er, we ever hear from Biffy again, Jeeves?
12:45Mr. Biffin?
12:46No, sir.
12:47No, I've probably forgotten all about it.
12:49Biffy's got the worst memory you've ever come across, Jeeves.
12:51Compared with Biffy, I come out as one of the ten great minds of modern times.
13:09Oi!
13:20Now, look.
13:21Oh, Mr. Worcester.
13:22Good heavens.
13:23Er, Miss Hemingway.
13:25Um, I was, I was just looking for you.
13:27Oh, Mr. Worcester.
13:29I don't know how to begin.
13:33Something up?
13:34Er, er, er, er, the fact is, Mr. Worcester, a most deplorable thing has occurred.
13:40Yesterday, I went to the races.
13:42Oh, an extraordinary thing.
13:44So did I.
13:45Er, did you click?
13:46If you mean was I successful, I must answer in the negative.
13:49Oh, Sidney.
13:51I lost my little all, Mr. Worcester.
13:54At the race course, I encountered one of my parishioners.
13:57A Colonel Musgrave, who happened to be holidaying there.
14:01I, er, induced him to cash me a cheque for one hundred pounds.
14:05Well, better luck that.
14:07Finding someone to slip it into, first crack out of the box.
14:09I burn with shame at the confession.
14:12But I immediately placed the hundred pounds on Little Demon in the last race.
14:17Little Demon?
14:18Little Demon.
14:20I say, you did have a day out.
14:22The most lamentable feature of the whole matter is that I have no funds in the bank.
14:29Oh, my dear chap, we'll say no more.
14:31Um, if you'll just dig me out of here.
14:34Oh, yes.
14:36Careful.
14:44Mr. Worcester, we can't let you lend us all this money without any security.
14:49Oh!
14:50No, I insist.
14:52You don't know us.
14:53We might be the most dreadful confidence tricksters.
14:56Oh, no, really.
14:57No, I insist.
15:00My pearls.
15:02I don't know what they're worth.
15:05They were a present from my poor father.
15:09Now, alas, no more.
15:10But I know they must be worth ever so much more than the amount we want.
15:13Oh, no, dear chap, look, there's no need for security.
15:16I mean, that sort of rot.
15:17Only too happy.
15:18Mr. Worcester, we appreciate your beautiful, heartening confidence in us,
15:22but we cannot permit this.
15:24There.
15:28If you could just give me a receipt.
15:30As a matter of form.
15:31Receipt, yes, of course.
15:33Shall I?
15:34Yes.
15:42Hemingway with two N's.
15:58Biffy?
16:01Biffy?
16:05Biffy?
16:07Biffy?
16:09Thank God.
16:10Well, well.
16:11Don't leave me, Bertie.
16:12I'm lost.
16:13What do you mean, lost?
16:14I came out for a walk and suddenly discovered I didn't know where on earth I was.
16:17I've been wandering around in circles for hours.
16:20Well, why didn't you ask the way back to your hotel?
16:22I was going to, and I realised I'd forgotten its name.
16:26I'd recognise it if I saw it.
16:27It's got big doors and a sort of roof.
16:31Oh, I'd give a shilling to know the name of that hotel.
16:33Well, you can owe it to me.
16:34It's the Hotel Riviera.
16:36This is uncanny, Bertie.
16:37Do you have second sight?
16:39No, it's the address you left with Jeeves the other day.
16:41What on earth are you doing in Westcombe on the sea?
16:43Bertie, old man, I came here to try and forget.
16:46You seem to have managed that all right.
16:49Anyway, I was going to tell you, Bertie.
16:51Last year, on the line of going to New York,
16:54I met a girl.
16:59Well, that was Dash's interesting buffet.
17:01Do you know who I saw at the drones the other day?
17:02She was wonderful.
17:04We used to walk on the boat deck after dinner.
17:07She was on the stage.
17:09She'd saved her a few pounds
17:10and was on her way to New York to see if she'd get a job.
17:13Her father had a milk walk in Clapham.
17:16Or it may have been Cricklewood.
17:18At least there was either a milk walk or a boot shop.
17:20Yes, well, easily confused.
17:22But what I'm trying to make you understand
17:23is she came of good, sturdy, middle-class stock.
17:25The sort of wife any man would have been proud of.
17:28Well, whose wife was she?
17:30Nobody's.
17:30That's the whole point of the story.
17:32Ah.
17:33I wanted her to be mine.
17:34And I lost her.
17:36What do you mean?
17:36You had a quarrel?
17:38No, I mean, I literally lost her.
17:41Well, there you are, Bertie.
17:42That's it!
17:44That's it!
17:44That's my hotel!
17:46Come on in, Bertie.
17:47I want to tell you the whole story.
17:48Well, actually, I...
17:58Well, I shall wear my pearls, Thompson.
18:01Yes, madam.
18:11Pardon me, madam.
18:12Have you moved them?
18:19They've gone.
18:24My pearls have gone.
18:27Someone has stolen my pearls.
18:35I hold you responsible, Mr. Bellwether.
18:38You are responsible for employing your staff.
18:41You are responsible for their honesty or lack of it.
18:44We can handle this discreetly, Mrs. Gregson.
18:47The staff will be searched.
18:48There's no reason to call the police.
18:50The police have already been called.
18:53Something has to be done.
18:55Oh, do me quiet, girl.
18:57No, no, no, no, no, no.
19:06Telephone for Mrs. Chumley-Bassett.
19:09The last I ever saw of her was in the customs sheds in New York.
19:14We were behind a pile of trunks, and I'd just asked her to be my wife,
19:17and she'd just said she would.
19:20When a most offensive blighter and a peaked cap came up
19:23to talk about some cigarettes he'd found in the bottom of my trunk,
19:26I was getting pretty late by then,
19:28so I told Mabel to go on to her hotel,
19:31and I'd come round next day and take her to lunch.
19:35And I haven't set eyes on her since.
19:37You mean she wasn't at the hotel?
19:40Probably she was. I don't know.
19:42You don't mean you never turned up?
19:44Well, to put it in a word,
19:46by the time I'd done half an hour's heavy explaining about the cigarettes,
19:49I'd forgotten the name of the hotel.
19:52Well, that's all right. You could make inquiries.
19:54No, I couldn't make inquiries.
19:56The fact is, I'd forgotten her name.
19:58Oh, no. Dash it. How could you forget her name?
20:01Besides, you told her to me a moment ago. Muriel or something.
20:04Mabel?
20:06So I saw her name I'd forgotten.
20:08No, but half a second.
20:09You must have told her your name. She could trace you.
20:11Exactly. She knows my name and where I live and everything.
20:14But I haven't heard a word from her.
20:16I suppose when I didn't turn up at the hotel,
20:17she thought I'd change my mind and just dumped her.
20:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
20:52I'm not.
20:57Superintendent, I am a taxpayer.
21:01I request the police to investigate a simple crime,
21:04and what response do I get?
21:05None!
21:08It so happens that my late husband
21:11was a good friend of your chief constable.
21:14Now will you do your duty and arrest that girl?
21:23extraordinary ruckus going on out there james indeed sir mrs grixon has lost her pearls
21:29really pearls eh that's a bit of a coincidence so well the reverend and his sister leaving her
21:36pearls with me good news mr worcester wonderful news i'm able to repay the money you so generously
21:48lent me oh well that's good isn't it we're so relieved if you could just let us have my pearls
21:54back now for which we have received of course jeeves the pearls so had a bit of luck eh not
22:00on
22:01the gee-gees i hope oh there you are thank you hello i'm sorry mr worcester it doesn't seem to
22:14do jeeves the pearls have gone good heavens sir whatever can have happened to them
22:22whatever can have happened to them jeeves echo answers whatever sir
22:28this is a most serious development mr worcester well yes a poor parson is scarcely in a position
22:35to bear such a loss no no no no i see that the pearls were valued at some three thousand
22:41pounds
22:41mr worcester
22:51ghastly coincidence jeeves aren't agatha and i both losing
22:55whole mechanism not entirely a coincidence sir i first suspected that something was amiss
23:01when i saw the reverend hemingway selling tips at the racecourse yesterday
23:05selling tips what rot men of the cloth don't sell tips jeeves you're allowing that imagination of yours
23:12to go overboard again what am i going to do write out a check for three thousand pounds sir
23:16meanwhile if you can undertake to engage them in conversation for as long as possible
23:20i think i may be able to affect a solution
23:40ah mr worcester i trust you have searched the inmost recesses of your heart yes i bally well have
23:46and the inmost recesses of my bank account i'm sure you will find your reward in heaven
23:51hmm no chance of anything a bit earlier i suppose
24:16mr worcester
24:17oh mr worcester i feel so guilty
24:20you have shown a humble and contrite heart mr worcester well it's uh it's what we worcesters are known for
24:27oh and uh don't go oh we must mr worcester are you sure you won't have a snifter i have
24:33to get back
24:34to my flock by tomorrow well shearing time is it it's a new thing mr worcester uh jeez i was
24:40i was just
24:40saying the hemingway is all to stay for a drink we really have to go you're forgetting your jewel case
24:45miss hemingway no it's only an empty box nevertheless miss oh well now we really must go
24:54oh hemingway i believe if i might suggest a course of action sergeant i think you may find it worth
25:00your
25:01while to examine the contents of that jewel case yes it's empty just an empty box well just take a
25:08look
25:08then all right allow me
25:14what's going on jeeves it's the pearls all right soby the game's up oh god i told you we couldn't
25:23be as
25:23gauntless as he looked you'll be charged with fraud obtaining money by deception and the theft of a
25:28pearl necklace the property of mrs agatha gregson what do you mean these are all agathas i took the
25:36liberty of abstracting them from miss hemingway's luggage sir yeah that's illegal that is come along
25:42you two i'll have a lure on you leaking a girl on like that come along don't worry about this
25:49one
25:49you said you said thank you i can walk quite well on my own look at this strangers they'd stolen
25:57aunt agatha's pearls and then stolen them again from me indeed sir the reverend hemingway is a well-known
26:03confidence trickster known as soapy sid he and his wife work their way along the south coast every year
26:09wife what wife yeah the lady calling herself aileen's and ah well i think you may be wrong there jeeves
26:15aileen hemingway was keen to marry me remember mrs hemingway was the woman responsible for removing
26:21the pearls from their case while you were writing a receipt for her sir good lord god lord i mean
26:30to
26:30say good lord chiefs well i shall enjoy this
26:43mrs gregson all i am asking you to do is arrest the girl there is no evidence evidence search her
26:50room
26:50what i want it we have already searched her room there is nothing stand up straight is that the way
26:57they teach you to stand in the police force nowadays is there anything i can do all that yes there
27:02is
27:02you can leave i have enough to bear without your in facilities your chief constable shall hear of
27:09this what is your name i guess something the matter with that girl auntie is she crying or something
27:14remorse she stole my pearls do you refuse to give me your name pearls well that's a coincidence
27:21these are the little chaps are they oh no of course not
27:28where i got them from your friends the hemmingways the hemmingways the hemmingways
27:34how did they come into the possession of the hemmingways because they jolly well stole them
27:39that's how that's what they do for a living they are jewel thieves no no no yes yes age today
27:44i mean
27:45i don't want to rub it in but you do realize that if you had succeeded in getting me to
27:48marry that girl
27:48then i should most probably have had children who'd have sneaked my watch while i was dancing them on
27:53my knee but bertie now i'm i'm not a complaining sort of chap there's a rule but i must say
27:58that in
27:58future you might be just a little bit more careful how you go about egging me on to marry females
28:06so
28:13I don't know.
28:40Sir, the engagement is announced between Charles Edward, only son of Mr. E.C. Biffin and Mrs. Biffin, of 11
28:49Penslow Square Mayfair.
28:51It's busy!
28:52And Honoria Jane Louise, only daughter of Sir Roderick and Lady Glossop of 6B Harley Street W1.
29:01Honoria!
29:02Indeed it is, sir.
29:04What on earth is Biffin doing getting engaged to Honoria Glossop?
29:07I could not say, sir.
29:09I mean, there probably are fellows in this world who could get engaged to this Glossop Menace and like it.
29:14Tough, hardy chaps with strong chins and glittering eyes, but Biffin is not one of them.
29:20Assuredly not, sir.
29:22Will that be all, sir?
29:24Oh, yes.
29:25What, O'Jeeves?
29:42So, Biffin?
29:44Congratulations, in order, I hear.
29:46Thanks.
29:50Buddy?
29:51Still here, old fruit?
29:53Oh, nothing.
29:58But it's really true you were once engaged to Honoria.
30:01It is.
30:02How on earth did you manage to get out?
30:05I mean, what was the nature of the tragedy that prevented your marriage?
30:12As madman, do you want to oil out of this thing?
30:15Bertie, old cock, as one friend to another, I do.
30:18How the dickens do you get into it?
30:21It just sort of happened.
30:23You know how it is when your heart's broken.
30:24You get absent-minded and cease to exercise proper precautions.
30:28Yes, I know.
30:29What I want you to tell me is, what's the procedure?
30:32You mean for us all of edging out?
30:33Exactly.
30:34I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, Bertie.
30:36No, no, of course not.
30:37But, um, what do you recommend?
30:39Well, you see, in my case, Sir Roderick discovered that there was a modicum of insanity in my family,
30:43so the old boy came round to dinner, to give me the once-over,
30:46and Jeeves arranged things so that he went away firmly convinced that I was completely off my caduver.
30:51I see.
30:52The trouble is, there isn't any insanity in my family.
30:56Really?
30:59Just my luck.
31:00I've got the whole Gossop clan coming to lunch with me tomorrow.
31:04Probably not to test me the same way they did you.
31:06What, the whole tribe of them? Honoria, too?
31:08The whole boiling of them.
31:09God, Lord.
31:13Look, Miffy, I tell you what, I'll roll up to that lunch.
31:16If he finds out that you're a pal of mine, he might well forbid the banners right away.
31:20Something in that.
31:21Off he's sporting, are you, Bertie?
31:23Well, when it comes to helping a chum, we Worcesters have no fault of self.
31:27Meanwhile, I'll consult Jeans.
31:28He's never failed me yet.
31:36Any time you hear the thunder rumble down, Don't let hope tumble down, Or castles crumble down.
31:46If the blues appear, just make the best of them, Just make a gist of them, Don't be possessed of
31:54them.
31:55At the risk of sounding rather platitudinous, Here's what I believe should be the attitude in us.
32:06A sunny disposition will always see you through, When up above the skies are black, Stead of being blue.
32:16Mr. Trouble always makes our faces long, But a smile will have him saying so long.
32:26Do you know what I look for in a song, Jeans?
32:29Er, not precisely, sir, no.
32:31I have often speculated.
32:33A spot of philosophy, Jeans.
32:34Something to make you think.
32:36Just you listen to this.
32:38It really doesn't pay To be a gloomy pill
32:42It's absolutely most ridic-positively sill
32:46The rain may pitter-patter
32:48It really doesn't matter
32:52For life can be delish
32:54With a sunny disposition
33:00Most heartwarming, sir.
33:02Mind you, there are times when it's dash difficult Not to be a bit gloomy and pill-like.
33:05Very true, sir.
33:07It is my friend Biffy Biffin.
33:09I mean, old Biffy is in roughly the same position In re Honoria Glossop as I was, a month or
33:13two back.
33:14In short, Jeans, he needs your help.
33:17I fear that it is hardly my place, Mr. Worcester, to intervene in a private matter affecting...
33:23Oh, come!
33:24No, sir.
33:25I would be taking a liberty.
33:27Now, look here, Jeans.
33:28It's not still the south of France you're mooning about, is it?
33:31No, sir.
33:32I had put the continent quite from my mind.
33:34Will that be all, sir?
33:37Yes, yes.
33:38That'll be all, Jeans.
33:51It's Biffy, isn't it?
33:53What have you got against old Biffy?
33:55I'm sure Mr. Biffin has many fine qualities, sir.
34:01Very well, then.
34:02If you're not going to chip in and save a fellow creature, I suppose I can't make you.
34:06You're going to look pretty silly, though, when I get old Biffy out of the soup without
34:09your assistance.
34:11I shall try to bear up under the shame of it, sir.
34:15Yes, well.
34:17Right, so I'm going back into that sitting room now, Jeans, and I'm going to put in some
34:19pretty tense thinking.
34:21Very good, sir.
34:23Shall I wake you at six, sir?
34:24Uh, yes.
34:25Oh, no, Jeans.
34:27There will be no need.
34:28The brain will be resting.
34:30As you say, sir.
34:32Yes.
34:33Well, then.
34:37I mean, the Worcester grey matter has been well and truly ragged off him.
34:41You've got to come up with something pretty brilliant, otherwise poor old Biffy is definitely
34:44for the hijack.
34:45He'll probably forget to turn up at the wedding, anyway.
34:47True, true.
34:48Do you remember the time he forgot his name and had to go and look it up in the club
34:52register?
34:52That's right, and nobody would tell him what letter it began with.
34:56I see Bertie.
34:59Oh, Bobby, what do you want to?
35:00Nothing.
35:01Nothing.
35:02I say, Bertie, do you like flowers?
35:05I like nothing better, Barley.
35:07Why do you ask?
35:07Well, would you like to smell my buttonhole, then?
35:09Uh, not particularly, no.
35:11Oh, go on.
35:12It's special.
35:13Oh, very well.
35:15But you'll have to stand now.
35:16Yeah.
35:17Right.
35:18Would you like to smell my buttonhole, Bertie?
35:20Yes, you've said all that.
35:21Oh, all right.
35:23Well, smell it, then.
35:29I forgot to fill it up.
35:30Hang on a minute.
35:33This is what I love about Barley's wheezes.
35:36Good one, is it?
35:37Terrific.
35:37I think I'll toggle off home.
35:39Oh, no.
35:39You simply have to see this.
35:43Right.
35:44Bertie, would you like to smell my buttonhole?
35:46No.
35:48Would you like to smell my buttonhole?
35:50Yes.
35:51Well, smell it, then.
35:55That's very nice, Barley.
35:58Ow!
36:08Good Lord.
36:10Out of the mouths of babes and wotties.
36:14Barley, I think.
36:38Barley, I just want you to know
36:40that your troubles are at an end.
37:07Mr. Bertram Worcester, sir.
37:10What-ho, what-ho, what-ho.
37:12Bertie.
37:13Biffy, do you like flowers?
37:14Eh?
37:15Smell this.
37:18What the devil are you doing?
37:21I'm awake.
37:22Calm yourself, Biffy, or they.
37:23This was not a jest to pass an idle hour.
37:26This was a demonstration.
37:27You're suggesting that I squirt Sir Roderick?
37:29Absolutely.
37:30Squirt him as he has never before been squirted.
37:32I guarantee you that in something under three seconds,
37:35the idea will have dawned on him
37:36that your presence in the family is not required.
37:39Oh, but I can't...
37:42It's them!
37:43It's them!
37:43Um, talk to them when I go change my shirt.
37:46This one's all wet.
37:54Sir Roderick and Lady Glossop
37:56and Miss Honoria Glossop.
38:00Good afternoon.
38:01I trust we're...
38:02It's that Bertie Worcester, Daddy.
38:05What?
38:05Sir?
38:06What-ho, Glossop, sir?
38:07What are you doing here, Bertie?
38:09Me?
38:09I'm just here as a sort of friend of the accused, as it were.
38:12You are a friend of Mr. Biffin.
38:15Old Biffin, yes.
38:16Yes, known each other for years.
38:17He asked me to come over and join you
38:18mangling a spot of lunch.
38:20Oh.
38:20I see it.
38:21It's a long time since we met, though, eh?
38:23Nevertheless, I remember you most distinctly, Mr. Worcester.
38:28Has there been some sort of accident?
38:30Oh, no, no, nothing serious.
38:33Old Biffin just had some sort of fit or seizure
38:35knocked over the table.
38:37Fit?
38:38Or seizure.
38:39No, foaming at the mouth or anything.
38:40Oh, Bertie!
38:44Sorry, I have to go and change my shirt.
38:47I've got to wait, you know.
39:01Are you working, Bertie?
39:04Working?
39:05The last time we met, Mr. Worcester,
39:07you told me you were thinking about getting a job.
39:09Oh, yes.
39:10Well, still thinking.
39:11Still thinking away.
39:13Ah.
39:22Um, like flowers, do you, Sir Roderick?
39:25Flowers?
39:26You know, like Biffin's got in his bottom hole.
39:28Let Sir Roderick have a sniff, Biffin.
39:30I don't want to.
39:33Daddy's thinking about buying Charles's place in Herefordshire.
39:36If Mr. Biffin will agree to sell.
39:38Oh, I should think he would.
39:39You got that place from your uncle, didn't you, Biffin?
39:42Yes.
39:42Yes, a lot of unhappy memories for old Biffin, that place.
39:45Oh, really?
39:45Why is that?
39:46Well, it was Biffin's old uncle, Harold,
39:48who used to read Shakespeare to his rabbits.
39:51I see.
39:53Yes, not that I got anything against Shakespeare myself.
39:55No, no, no.
39:56I'm never happier than when curled up with the collected works of the old chap.
39:59Oh, are you a theatre lover, Mr. Worcester?
40:02Oh, rather.
40:04One of my most treasured memories is of Irving playing Hamlet at the lights-in.
40:10Really?
40:11Who won?
40:15Why don't we all go to the theatre tomorrow night?
40:18Oh, yes.
40:19I thirst for culture, Mr. Biffin.
40:21Oh, ditto, ditto.
40:23Yes.
40:23Anyway, to return to Sir Roderick and flowers, Biffin.
40:26Eh?
40:27Flowers, Sir Roderick.
40:28He likes them.
40:29Whatever is the matter, Mr. Worcester?
40:31Let Sir Roderick snip your buttonhole, Biffy.
40:42Come on, Biffy.
40:43Do it.
40:44I can't, Bertie.
40:45I can't.
40:46You can.
40:46Be brave.
40:47Do it.
40:50What are you doing?
40:52It's gone.
40:52Yes.
40:54Ah!
40:55Ah!
40:56Ah!
40:57Ah!
40:57Ah!
40:58Ah!
40:59Ah!
41:00Ah!
41:00Ah!
41:01Ah!
41:08Ah!
41:09Bertie!
41:10Ah!
41:11Bertie!
41:11You are an old silly!
41:13Eh?
41:14It's jolly heartbreaking for you, Bertie, I know, and I'm badly well-touched, but my parents
41:17would never hear of it.
41:19Hear of what, Norrie?
41:20It'd be better if you got a job, even.
41:22My dear old Norrie, I'm quite in a fog.
41:24Oh, come on, Bertie!
41:27Trying to make Biffy look even more of an idiot than nature intended just shows you'll be in
41:30with a chance again.
41:32No, no, no, no!
41:33Oh, no!
41:34Ha!
41:34Ha!
41:35Ha!
41:35Ha!
41:35Ha!
41:40They make a nice display, don't they, sir?
41:42Ha!
41:43Don't talk to me about flowers, Jeeves.
41:46I now know how a general feels when he plans some great strategic movement, and his troops
41:51let him down at the eleventh hour.
41:52Biffy would not squirt the squirter, Jeeves.
41:55A somewhat vacillating young gentleman, Mr. Biffin, sir.
42:06The worst of it is that I've got stuck with going to the theatre with them tomorrow.
42:10And Honoria seems to think that I'm aching to marry her again.
42:14Indeed, sir.
42:16Dash it, Jeeves, you are positively heartless.
42:19I'm sorry to hear of Miss Glossop's misapprehension, sir.
42:23But as to Mr. Biffin, surely Mr. Biffin has only himself to blame
42:27if he has entered upon matrimonial obligations which do not please him, sir.
42:32Oh, you're talking absolute rot, Jeeves.
42:34You know as well as I do that Honoria Glossop is an act of God.
42:37You might as well blame a fellow for getting run over by a truck.
42:41Besides, he was in no position to resist. He lost the only girl he ever loved.
42:46How is this, sir?
42:47Well, apparently he fell in love with a girl he met on the boat going over to New York.
42:51They'd parted at the Customs Shed, arranging to meet the next day at her hotel.
42:55Well, you know what Biffin's like.
42:56The next day, the only thing he could remember was that her name was Mabel.
42:59Clean forgotten her hotel, everything.
43:01Well, I mean to say, you can't go scouring New York looking for a girl called Mabel.
43:06I appreciate the difficulty, sir.
43:08I did not know of this before.
43:10I don't suppose anyone knows of it except me.
43:12Did I hear you mention that Mr. Biffin was arranging a theatre party for Sir Roderick and Lady Glossop, sir?
43:18And Honoria.
43:20If I might suggest, sir, the new entertainment at the palace is reputed to be well worth a visit.
43:26Well, yes.
43:27We'll never get tickets for that.
43:28It's an absolute riot, I've heard.
43:30Um, what's the thing called?
43:32Woof, woof, sir.
43:33Uh, if you were to leave it to me, sir, I may have some small influence which would enable me
43:39to acquire the necessary tickets.
43:50But he's travelling incognito because he's smuggled his St. Bernard's through the customs and they're on his train.
43:57How romantic.
43:59I'd do anything for a man with a St. Barnard.
44:04Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof,
44:14woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof,
44:17woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof,
44:17woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
44:31What, what, what, dirty mothers can't keep lovers far apart.
44:45Hey, these girls, here comes Lady Hamintrude.
44:48Has she got anyone with her?
44:50Anyone with a St. Bernard?
44:52I didn't see any St. Bernard, but she's got a man with her.
44:56A man?
44:57Yes, and he'd certainly make me go woof, woof.
45:02Guitar!
45:03He's absolutely gorgeous.
45:16Mabel!
45:19Mabel!
45:20It's me!
45:21Miffy!
45:37Mabel!
45:38I'm looking everywhere for you!
45:44Mabel!
45:46Mabel!
45:47Mabel!
45:47Mabel!
45:47I'm watching out my window.
45:49Mabel!
45:56right across the orchestra pit
46:01that all sounds highly satisfactory sir did you know mabel was in the show jesus oh yes sir
46:08i happen to be acquainted with the future mrs biffin ah so you know all about that business
46:13in new york yes indeed sir it was for that reason that i was not altogether favorably
46:19disposed towards mr biffin i mistakenly supposed that he had been trifling with the young girl's
46:24affections but when you told me the true facts of the case i endeavored to make amends well he
46:29suddenly owes you a lot chiefs but how did you come to know the girl in the first place she
46:33is my
46:34niece sir good heavens chiefs yes indeed sir
46:39is that the doorbell jeez it certainly gave that impression sir
46:47who could that be at this time of night i shall endeavor to ascertain sir
46:58i wish to see mr worcester jeez i regret to say that mr worcester is asleep mrs gregson oh how
47:05very thoughtless of him what is the matter with young people nowadays jeez i can't say madam
47:11i have heard that another of mr worcester's friends has disgraced himself at the theater
47:17this evening most unfortunate mrs gregson however this does mean that the young glossop girl is once
47:23again on the market would you kindly tell mr worcester that i am willing to overlook his conduct at
47:30west quancy in order to help him bring matters with miss glossop to a satisfactory conclusion
47:36i'm sure that mr worcester will be most grateful madam and so he ought to be
47:41i shall call again first thing i should tell mr worcester madam
48:02that was mrs gregson's uh i heard jeez hence the pattern
48:07embarking on a journey is there yes where are jeez the night train from team leaves in an hour we
48:12are going to be on this if our bag of things i'm going to wait around while she and the
48:16loria
48:17glossop lead me trust stuffed and garnished with bacon to the altar jeez well she's got several other
48:25things coming very good sir if you will allow me to complete the packing sir
48:30yes
48:31yes
48:32yes
48:32yes
48:34yes
48:36yes
48:37yes
48:39yes
Comments