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Jeeves and Wooster S01E04 The Hunger Strike
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00:00To be continued...
01:11Oh, thank you so very much.
01:21Good morning, Mr. Worcester.
01:26What?
01:27What's the time?
01:28Ten past nine, sir.
01:31Ten past nine?
01:33Is the building on fire?
01:35Not that I've been informed, sir, no.
01:38Mr. Fink Nottle is here to see you, sir.
01:41Jeeves, I'm not awake.
01:43I've not had my tea, and yet you bring me Fink Nottles.
01:46Is this a time for Fink or any other kind of Nottle?
01:49The gentleman did say it was urgent, sir.
01:51Yes, well, he lives in the country, Jeeves.
01:53He gets overstimulated when he comes to London.
01:55Tell him I'll see him at the drones at twelve.
01:58Very good, sir.
02:04Taxi!
02:04Oh, don't be sorry.
02:07No, it's all right.
02:08It happens all the time.
02:18Mrs. Travers to see you, sir.
02:22Oh, tell Mrs. Travers I'm out and I'll deal with her in the morning.
02:29Bertie, you old ass.
02:31Wake up.
02:32It's time you were dressed.
02:33I've got a job for you.
02:35Does your master always lie about like this, Jeeves?
02:39Mr. Worcester was detained at a business meeting until late last evening.
02:43Business meeting?
02:45How do you mean a job?
02:47Why a job?
02:48What sort of job?
02:48You'll enjoy it.
02:50You've heard of Market Snodsbury Grammar School?
02:53Never.
02:54It's a grammar school in Market Snodsbury.
02:58The prize giving takes place next Wednesday.
03:01Thank you, Jeeves.
03:02You are going to give away the prizes.
03:05Me?
03:07What, do you mean me give prizes?
03:10I mean you give prizes.
03:12The vicar was going to do it, but he's strained a fetlock and he's had to scratch his nomination.
03:18No.
03:19Ardelia.
03:20No, no, no, no.
03:21Me give prizes, make a speech.
03:22Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:25Don't start gargling now.
03:27This is serious.
03:29I was laughing derisently.
03:31Well, don't.
03:32Well, no, I will not do it.
03:34That's final.
03:34I simply will not do it.
03:36You will do it, young Bertie.
03:38We'll never darken my doors again.
03:40And you know what that means?
03:41No more of Anatol's dinners for you.
03:44Oh, now, look here.
03:46No.
03:47Not another bite of Anatol's cooking do you get if you refuse this simple, easy, pleasant job.
03:55No, but you have to be a frightful nib to give away prizes.
03:59Well, I was at school.
03:59It was generally some prime minister or other.
04:01Well, that was eaten at Market Snodsbury.
04:05Anyone in spats impresses us.
04:08Well, why don't you get Uncle Tom?
04:09He's got spats.
04:10Because, Bertie, quite soon now I've got to sidle up to Uncle Tom and break the news that I need
04:16a check for 500 pounds off him for my lady's boudoir by August the 3rd at the latest.
04:24The boudoir on the rocks again, is it?
04:27Until you have run a weekly woman's magazine, you don't know what rocks are.
04:33You remember me losing all that money at Baccarat in Cannes?
04:36Don't I just?
04:37The casino wanted to put up a flag.
04:39But that wasn't Uncle Tom's money, surely?
04:41No, but it was money that he'd given me to pay my lady's boudoir's bills.
04:47Oh, law.
04:48So, if you think that I'm going to ask him to put on the top hat and the lavender gloves
04:53and distribute prizes at the Market Snodsbury Graner School...
04:58Yes, I see what you mean.
05:00I shall give you today to set your affairs in order and expect you at Brinkley Court tomorrow.
05:08You'll enjoy it.
05:13I can't understand Gussie Finknoffle being in London, Jeeves.
05:17Till now, he's always remained glued to the country, completely surrounded by newts.
05:21Sir?
05:21Morning, Jarvis.
05:23Newts, Jeeves.
05:24You know, those little lizard-y things that charge about in ponds.
05:27Ah, yes, sir.
05:27The aquatic members of the family Salamandridi that constitute the genus mulga.
05:32Yes, they're the chaps.
05:33Anyway, he used to keep them at school.
05:35I believe young gentlemen frequently do, sir.
05:38He arrived at man's estate, he retired to the depths of the country and gave up his life to these
05:42dumb chums.
05:44I suppose he used to tell himself that he could either take them or leave them alone, and then found
05:47too late that he couldn't.
05:48It's often in the way, sir.
05:50Morning, Molly.
05:51Morning, sir.
05:53He didn't say what he wanted, did he, Jeeves?
05:55He confided in me to the extent that he's enamoured of a young lady, but that she makes him nervous.
06:00Well, are we surprised?
06:02You look at the life he's led.
06:04I don't suppose he's even spoken to a girl in five years.
06:07Well, what a lesson this is to us, Jeeves.
06:09In this life, you can either shut yourself up at a country house and stare into a nuke tank, or
06:14you can be a dasher with the sex.
06:16But you can't do both.
06:18It's a sad reflection, sir.
06:19Garthie didn't mention this girl's name at all, did he?
06:22She's a Miss Bassett, sir.
06:23A Miss Madeleine Bassett.
06:25Well, I'm dashed.
06:26I'm positively dashed, Jeeves.
06:28Indeed, sir.
06:29Is the young lady an acquaintance of yours?
06:31Absolutely.
06:31Her father is the beek who fined me five pounds.
06:35Well, I must confess, Jeeves, until you supply this information, I had definite doubts about Gus's chances.
06:40But now, hope begins to dawn.
06:41He's just the sort of chap that Madeleine Bassett might scoop up with a spoon.
06:46This is indeed good news, sir.
06:48I won't go so far as to say she actually writes poetry, but when a girl suddenly asks you out
06:53of a clear blue sky if you don't think that the stars are God's daisy chain, well, I mean, you
06:58do begin to wonder, Jeeves.
07:01Indeed so.
07:11Not out, I'm afraid.
07:13In by a mile.
07:16Hello.
07:17Otto Gussie.
07:19Oh, hello, Bertie.
07:21So, what's all this about you and Madeleine Bassett?
07:23I didn't know you knew her even.
07:25I didn't.
07:26Not until I met her.
07:27She was staying at a place near mine in Lincolnshire the week before last.
07:31A dog had got a thorn in his foot and I managed to get it out for her.
07:35So, love at first sight, eh?
07:37Yes, oh, Bertie.
07:39Why, it would be so much simpler if we were newts.
07:42Yes, well, yes, I've said the same thing myself a hundred times.
07:45I mean, do you know how the male newt proposes Bertie?
07:48He stands in front of the female newt, vibrating his tail and bending his body in a semicircle.
07:53No.
07:53Yes, like this.
07:58Yes, well, it's a change from champagne and flowers, I suppose.
08:01Now, Gussie.
08:01I say.
08:03I say.
08:04It's about time someone came up with something better than the foxtrot.
08:09This will turn a few heads of quacks, you like.
08:13Madeleine's gone to stay with these people in the country.
08:15I don't know what to do.
08:16We'll follow her, of course.
08:18I can't clank myself on a lot of perfect strangers.
08:21Ah, so you don't know these people?
08:22All I know is their name's Travers, and it's a place called Brinkley Court in Worcestershire.
08:27Gussie, your troubles are at an end.
08:29This very afternoon, you will travel down to Brinkley Court as an honoured guest.
08:33You don't mean you know these Traverses.
08:36They are my Aunt Dahlia.
08:44But what do I do when I get there?
08:46Well, if you knew Brinkley Court, you wouldn't ask that question.
08:49Really?
08:49The place is simply soggy with atmosphere.
08:51I got engaged three times at Brinkley.
08:53Really?
08:54No business resulted, of course, but the fact remains.
08:58Thank you so much, Bertie.
09:01On consulting engagement book, deeply regret am unable to come down,
09:07so am sending my friend Augustus Fink...
09:11Nottle.
09:12Nottle, to enjoy your hospitality instead.
09:15He well-known in Lincolnshire as distributor of school prizes, so there isn't any need for me now, is there?
09:22Tudaloo, your loving nephew Bert.
09:24Excellent.
09:34I stake everything on propinquity, Jeeves.
09:36At the moment, Gussie is a mere jelly when in the presence, but ask yourself how he's going to feel
09:41in a week or so after he and she have been helping themselves to sausages out of the same dish
09:45day after day at the breakfast sideboard.
09:48Golly, Jeeves.
09:49Sir?
09:49Well, you see, here is an instance of how you have to think of everything.
09:53You heard me mention sausages?
09:54Sausages?
09:55Yes, sir.
09:56Take down a telegram, Jeeves.
09:59I must warn Gussie without delay.
10:01He's got to create the impression in this girl's mind that he's pining away for love of her.
10:06This cannot be done by wolfing down sausages.
10:09Ready?
10:10Indeed, sir, yes.
10:11Fink Nottle, Brinkley Court, Market Snodsbury.
10:14Lay off the sausages, Bertie.
10:18Are you good, sir?
10:19No, no, wait a second.
10:21P.S.
10:21Also, avoid the ham.
10:24Yes, how'd you do it?
10:28I say, Jeeves, as a matter of interest, what are you doing?
10:32I merely ask.
10:34I'm sorting through these clothes, sir.
10:37These are for repair and these for discarding.
10:41Wait a second.
10:43This white mess jacket is brand new.
10:46I assume it had got into your wardrobe by mistake, sir.
10:49Or else that it had been placed there by your enemies.
10:51I will have you know, Jeeves, that I bought this in Cannes.
10:54And wore it, sir?
10:56Every night at the casino.
10:58Beautiful women used to try and catch my eye.
11:01Presumably they thought you were a waiter, sir.
11:04Now look here, Jeeves.
11:06Excuse me, sir.
11:11Telegram for Mr. Worcester.
11:16Telegram for you, sir?
11:17Well, read it, Jeeves.
11:18Read it.
11:25Deeply regret my foot.
11:27Consider your conduct the frozen limit.
11:31What do you mean by planting your loathsome friends on me like this?
11:35Who is this spink bottle?
11:37Deeply regret Brinkley Court a hundred miles from London
11:41as unable to hit you with Brick.
11:44Come this instant.
11:46Angela broken off engagement with your other friend, Glossop.
11:50Love, Travers, sir.
11:52I say, Jeeves.
11:54Sir?
11:55My cousin Angela has broken off her engagement with Tuppy Glossop.
11:59So I gather, sir.
12:01Well, you shall have to go down there at once.
12:03My aunt Taylor is obviously all over Twitter,
12:05and my place is at her side.
12:07Very good, sir.
12:08This comes as a great shock, Jeeves.
12:10Tuppy and Angela.
12:12Why, they always seem like the paper on the wall.
12:15Life is full of sadness, Jeeves.
12:17Yes, sir.
12:19Still, there it is.
12:29What is it about uncles and aunts, Jeeves?
12:31I really couldn't say, sir.
12:33I mean, with one's parents.
12:36After a few preliminary skirmishes over sago pudding and stewed rhubarb,
12:40one settled down into some sort of amicable, if humdrum, relationship.
12:44But aunts, Jeeves.
12:45Very true, sir.
12:46I don't even know the meaning of the word humdrum.
12:49Amongst the grim regiment of my aunts,
12:51only Aunt Dahlia stands alone as a real sportsman.
12:54I mean, look at my Aunt Agatha.
12:55Indeed, sir, yes.
12:57And Aunt Julia?
12:58Quite, sir.
12:59And Aunt Charlotte?
13:00Oh, she's the one who sent me that rather bitter postcard
13:03of Little Chilbury War Memorial
13:05when I refused to take her frightful child to lunch
13:07on the way back to school.
13:09Aunts are noted for their strong opinion, sir.
13:12It's a distinguishing mark of the breed.
13:14Yes, but it's the things they say, Jeeves.
13:16Aunt calling to aunt like mastodons
13:19bellowing across primeval swamps.
13:20Yes, but swamp or no swamp, Jeeves,
13:23we must hire us to Brinkley Court.
13:25We have a duty to Cousin Angela.
13:26Cousin in need is a cousin indeed.
13:29Very true, sir.
13:55Hello, Bertie.
13:57Oh, Angela, old thing.
13:59Mummy's in the library.
14:07Hello, Aunt Dahlia.
14:08Ah, Bertie.
14:10Anatole and I were just going over
14:11his wonderful menu for dinner.
14:14For you, Mr. Worcester,
14:16I added this.
14:17Your favourite.
14:19My tambale de Rue de Vaud,
14:21to Luzien.
14:22Wheel it on, Anatole, old friend.
14:24Wheel it on.
14:25Oh, I wheel it, monsieur.
14:26Worcester, have no fright.
14:28Right on.
14:32Bertie.
14:32Ah, dearest eh?
14:34Oh, Bertie.
14:36Decent of you to rally round.
14:38I don't know whether I'm on my head
14:39or my heels.
14:40Yes, it's a bad show, this,
14:41my dear old flesh and blood.
14:42If Tom finds out
14:43that that blasted glossop
14:46is making Angela unhappy,
14:47you'll very likely blow a gasket.
14:56The trouble is,
14:58Tom's just had a demand
15:00from the income tax people
15:01for an additional 58 pounds,
15:04one anthropence.
15:06He says he's ruined.
15:08And what would become of us all
15:10under the iron heel of the Red Menace
15:12if it weren't for Anatole's cooking,
15:14I doubt if he'd bother to carry on.
15:16Hmm.
15:17But what did Angela and Tuppy row about?
15:18Sharks.
15:20Or rather, one particular shark.
15:22You remember that brute
15:23that went for the poor child
15:25when she was aquaplaning in Cal?
15:26Oh, that shark.
15:27Yes, I remember some talk of it.
15:29Well, Angela was telling the story last night.
15:32Her eyes shining,
15:33her little hands clasped
15:35in girlish excitement.
15:36And what do you think
15:37that blasted glossop did?
15:39He sat there listening
15:41like a lump of dough.
15:42And then when she'd finished,
15:43he said,
15:44Ah, probably a flatfish,
15:46quite harmless.
15:47No doubt he was just trying to play.
15:49Oh, I say.
15:50Exactly.
15:51I mean, Angela has pride.
15:54She's sensitive.
15:56She told him
15:57he was a fool, an idiot,
15:58and didn't know what he was talking about.
16:01Strong words.
16:02Yes, I can see why you needed me.
16:04Yes.
16:05Or rather, not you,
16:07but Jeeves.
16:09Jeeves?
16:10That wonderful brain of his.
16:13No, no, no, no, no.
16:15Aunt Taylor, I'm sorry, no.
16:16But Jeeves is not the only one with a brain.
16:18On this occasion,
16:19I am your man.
16:38What-o-toppy?
16:40Oh, hello, Bertie.
16:44You've heard of this business, I suppose?
16:46Me and Angela?
16:48Yes, some little friction, I gather,
16:50in Ray Angela's shock.
16:51Angela had just been most offensive,
16:53the little squirt.
16:54I merely seized the opportunity
16:56to get a bit of my own back.
16:58Offensive?
16:58Most offensive.
17:00I mean, just because I happened
17:01to let fall some casual remark
17:02to the effect that I wondered
17:03what Anatole was going to give us for dinner.
17:06She said I ought not to always
17:07be thinking about food.
17:09But you still love her, don't you?
17:10I'm not saying I don't love her,
17:13little blighter.
17:14I mean, I love her passionately,
17:16but that doesn't alter the fact
17:18that in my humble opinion,
17:19what she needs most in this world
17:20is a kick in the pants.
17:21Tuppy, old man.
17:22It's no good saying tuppy, old man.
17:25Well, I do say tuppy, old man.
17:27One is shocked.
17:29One raises the eyebrows.
17:31Where is the fine, old,
17:32chivalrous spirit of the Glossops?
17:34Well, where's the sweet,
17:35gentle, womanly spirit
17:36of the Angelas?
17:38I'm telling a chap he's
17:39getting a double chin.
17:40Oh, now, be fair, tuppy.
17:42Remember the time you told her
17:43that her new hat
17:44made her look like a Pekingese?
17:47Yes, well,
17:48it did make her look like a Pekingese.
17:50But that wasn't vulgar abuse.
17:53Just sound constructive criticism.
17:58Well, I mean,
17:59the only way to work the thing
18:00might be to tip her off
18:02in some, well,
18:03indirect way
18:04that I'm prepared
18:05to open negotiation.
18:07Tuppy,
18:08I've got it.
18:09There is one infallible method
18:11of indicating to a girl
18:12that you love her.
18:14Don't eat any dinner tonight.
18:16What?
18:16Well, think how impressive
18:18it would be.
18:18She knows how devoted
18:19you are to food.
18:20I am not devoted to food.
18:22No, no, no, no,
18:23of course not, no.
18:24All I meant was
18:25that if she sees you
18:26push your dinner away untasted,
18:27well, she will realise
18:29that your heart is aching
18:30and she'll probably be the first
18:31to suggest blowing the all clear.
18:33Look,
18:33I have a healthy appetite,
18:35that's all.
18:36Food,
18:37qua food,
18:37means nothing to me.
18:38No, no, no,
18:38of course not, no.
18:41Push away a dinner
18:42cooked by Anatole.
18:43That's right.
18:44It's pretty extreme, that.
18:46The extremer, the better.
18:48It will be agony.
18:50Oh,
18:51not for long.
18:52You can always slip down
18:53tonight when everyone's in bed
18:54and, and, and,
18:55and raid the larder.
18:56Oh, yes.
18:58Yes.
18:59I see.
19:00I could, couldn't I?
19:01Yes.
19:01I expect there's
19:02something cold there.
19:04There is something cold there.
19:06What?
19:06Steak and kidney pie.
19:08We had it for lunch today.
19:09One of Anatole's ripest.
19:11Oh,
19:12it was a masterly pie,
19:13Bertie,
19:14you should have seen it.
19:15Not too much kidney,
19:16just enough to give it
19:17that touch of bite.
19:18A lashings of steak.
19:20That's just good steak, too.
19:21Toppy.
19:22What?
19:24Oh, right.
19:26Yes, right.
19:28Pushed away,
19:30it shall be.
19:36Terrific idea,
19:37Bertie.
19:51Thank you, Jeeves.
20:00Thank you, Jeeves.
20:13What ho, Gussie?
20:17What ho, Gussie?
20:34It was a dastardly act
20:37to call out of that
20:38price-giving
20:38and shove it off on me.
20:39My dear old Gussie,
20:41just think of what
20:41it's going to do for you.
20:43There you'll be,
20:44up on the platform,
20:44a romantic,
20:45impressive figure,
20:47the,
20:48whatchamacallit,
20:48of all eyes,
20:49and Gussie will see you
20:50in a totally new light.
20:51Oh,
20:52will she?
20:53Of course she will.
20:54Fink-Nottle,
20:55the newt's friend,
20:56she knows.
20:57Fink-Nottle,
20:58the dog's caropanist,
20:59she is acquainted with.
21:00But Fink-Nottle,
21:01the orator,
21:02Fink-Nottle,
21:02the man of affairs,
21:03and it'll knock us sideways.
21:04Do you think so?
21:05Sure of it.
21:06I suppose it might be all right.
21:08But you seem so aloof, Bertie,
21:10so remote,
21:12especially when I see her sideways.
21:14Haven't you ever seen her sideways, Bertie?
21:17That cold, pure profile
21:20just takes all the heart out of one.
21:22Yes, well, you see,
21:23she needs to be softened up,
21:24sweetened.
21:25I've been thinking about this, Gussie,
21:26and you'll be pleased to hear
21:27that I have a plan.
21:41Be so good, Jeeves,
21:42as to shove that valley black thing
21:44back in the wardrobe
21:45and bring me my white mess jacket
21:46with the brass buttons.
21:48Oh, good heavens,
21:50it was most remiss of me,
21:52but I fear I inadvertently
21:53omitted to pack the garment.
21:55I know you did, Jeeves,
21:56but I didn't.
22:01You'll find it
22:02in the other wardrobe.
22:04Very good, sir.
22:11The rift between Tuppy
22:13and my cousin Angela
22:14appears to be serious, Jeeves.
22:16Indeed, sir.
22:18Well,
22:19I've had rather a stunning idea, Jeeves,
22:21and I've been in conference
22:22with Mr Glossop
22:23and everything is taped out.
22:26Indeed, sir.
22:29Jeeves,
22:30I'm sure that nothing
22:31is further from your mind,
22:32but you know you have a way
22:33of saying indeed, sir,
22:34which gives the impression
22:35that it's only a feudal sense
22:37of what is fitting,
22:37which prevents you
22:38from substituting the word
22:39says you.
22:40I'm distressed to hear this, sir.
22:42Well, so you should be, Jeeves.
22:43Correct it.
22:44Very good, sir.
22:46You'll be glad to hear
22:46that I have taken steps
22:47in the matter of Tuppy and Angela.
22:49Indeed, sir.
22:51Jeeves?
22:53Sorry, sir.
22:54Please continue.
22:55Right.
22:56This is the plan.
22:57I have recommended to Tuppy
22:58that at dinner tonight
22:59he lay off the food.
23:01Sir?
23:03Touch, Jeeves.
23:04Have you forgotten
23:05the telegram
23:05that I sent to Gussie Finknottle
23:07steering him away
23:08from the sausages and ham?
23:09Well, this is more
23:09of the same thing.
23:11Pushing away the scoff
23:12is a universally recognized
23:13sign of love.
23:14Nothing elaborate, you see?
23:15No, sir.
23:16Nothing strained
23:17or bizarre
23:17or far-fetched,
23:18just nature's remedy.
23:20It cannot fail
23:21to bring home the gravy, Jeeves.
23:22Surely you must see that.
23:23Well, sir.
23:25Do you think
23:25my scheme will work?
23:26I fear that Miss Angela
23:28may merely attribute
23:29Mr. Glossop's abstinence
23:30to indigestion, sir.
23:33I say, Jeeves.
23:34I've just had another thought.
23:36Oh, I am relieved, sir.
23:37Help me on with the jacket, Jeeves.
23:40Which way up does it go, sir?
23:50Tom!
23:53You're not going to
23:53start on me about
23:54that blasted money
23:55for your magazine again?
23:56What are you doing
23:58with that gun?
23:59What?
24:00Oh, er...
24:01There's someone creeping
24:02around outside last night.
24:04Tonight I'm going
24:04to be ready for them.
24:05I forbid you
24:06to play around
24:07with that gun.
24:08Blast it, Dalia!
24:09Not another word, Tom.
24:11I forbid it.
24:13You know
24:14you always shoot
24:15the wrong people.
24:16Oh,
24:25you know
24:48what do you think
24:50what do you think
24:50you're made up as?
24:53What then?
24:54The jacket, you mean?
24:55You look like
24:56one of the chorus
24:57in act two
24:57of a touring musical comedy.
24:59Tut!
25:00What did you say?
25:01I said tut!
25:03Say it again
25:03and I'll biff you
25:04where you stand.
25:05I have enough to endure
25:06without being tutted at.
25:08Well, quite.
25:09Any tutting that's required,
25:11I'll attend to myself.
25:13My dear old aunt,
25:15your troubles are over.
25:16The Worcester brain
25:17has shifted smoothly
25:18into top gear once more.
25:20Oh, no.
25:21What have I done
25:22to deserve this?
25:23There is only one course
25:24for you to pursue.
25:25You must go
25:26on the Worcester diet.
25:28The Worcester diet?
25:29What is all this drivel?
25:31No, no.
25:32This is the real Tabasco.
25:33No, all you have to do
25:34is to refuse your oats
25:36at dinner tonight.
25:36Just sit there
25:37looking blistered
25:38and wave away each course
25:40with a weary gesture
25:41of resignation.
25:42Why?
25:43Why should I?
25:45Because.
25:46Because I'm prepared
25:46to bet,
25:47aged a day,
25:48that at the conclusion
25:48of dinner,
25:49Uncle Tom will come up
25:50to you and he will say,
25:52Dahlia, darling.
25:53I take it he calls you
25:54Dahlia?
25:55Yeah.
25:56Dahlia, darling,
25:56I noticed at dinner tonight
25:57you were a bit off
25:58your feed.
25:58Is there anything wrong,
26:00Dahlia, darling?
26:01These Traverses sound
26:02a pretty soppy couple
26:03of blighters to me.
26:04Is there anything
26:05I can do,
26:06Dahlia, darling,
26:07to which you will reply,
26:08Yes, there jolly well is.
26:11Viz, reach for the checkbook.
26:12Anne, start writing.
26:14Bertie, that's positively bright.
26:18When did Jeeves think it up?
26:20I'll have you know,
26:21Aunt Dahlia,
26:21that this scheme
26:22is guaranteed
26:23100% Worcester brain material.
26:25It's bound to work.
26:26Do you know,
26:27I think it might?
26:29I'll do it.
26:33I'm dreading sitting across
26:34the dinner table
26:35from Glossop, Madeleine.
26:36Oh, poor Angela.
26:38Are you still upset
26:39about you and Tuffy?
26:40Love is such a heartbreak,
26:42isn't it?
26:42A heartbreak?
26:43I'm just boiling mad.
26:45The man is a blithering oaf.
26:58It's magnifique.
26:59Tonight will be the top
27:01of Anatole's career.
27:06Can't give a penny nowadays.
27:07Tax on this.
27:09Tax on that.
27:10Income tax.
27:11They're all so repurposed.
27:13I said to Dahlia,
27:14only the other day,
27:15they'd begrudge you
27:16the very food
27:17you put in your mouth.
27:21Then there was
27:22that clown Harold
27:23messing about
27:24down at Hastings
27:25when he should have been
27:25at Westminster
27:26trying to think a way
27:27to contact him.
27:28You and I
27:30paid me,
27:31you little child.
27:31Oh, yes.
27:34We shouldn't have had
27:35those damn sats
27:37and walking in
27:37as though the old
27:38of the place
27:39was gone.
27:41They'd have
27:41us picking in the streets.
27:43I swear to God,
27:44they'd have us
27:45picking in the streets.
27:49I remember.
27:50I was in Surabba.
27:52Whole family's there
27:53in the streets.
27:54Picking.
27:57This is the
27:57damn government fuck.
28:03They said,
28:04do not like
28:04my consommé
28:05or pomme de moire?
28:06No,
28:07it is not possible.
28:08Oh, no.
28:09They will
28:10I have my
28:11tambale
28:11ridivo
28:12touloussien.
28:13Oh,
28:14voila.
28:19Then look at that
28:20Benjamin Disraeli.
28:22Him and his damn
28:23book writing.
28:24Ruination of the
28:25conservative body.
28:26Oh, no reds now.
28:29I saw it coming.
28:31Now even more.
28:32Now, I mean,
28:33that unfestive
28:34runny meat.
28:35That was only the beginning.
28:37It would be downhill
28:38from that moment on
28:39in my humble opinion.
28:40Oh, good enough.
28:41Well, five minutes.
28:43Not more.
28:44And on comes that.
28:45Oliver Cromwell.
28:46Oh, terrible man
28:48of the face.
28:48No fear.
28:49Orbs.
28:50Carver.
28:51I believe,
28:52even when they buried him,
28:54they dug him up again.
28:56Put his head on a pike
28:57outside Westminster.
28:58Oh, well, you know
28:59what that meant.
29:00I blame the Romans.
29:02If Magnus Maximal
29:03had hung on him,
29:05set up pulling out
29:12where did I turn wrong?
29:14What bad articles
29:16did I do
29:16when I was small?
29:17Oh, okay.
29:36What bad things?
29:38What bad things?
29:41What bad things?
29:44What bad things?
29:52What bad things?
29:54What bad things?
29:55What bad things?
29:56What bad things?
29:58What bad things?
29:59What bad things?
29:59What bad things?
30:00What bad things?
30:01What bad things?
30:03What bad things?
30:04What bad things?
30:06No! No, I say, I'm not far as exalt!
30:14They wait for Anatole. They save the nice world.
30:17They flatten him.
30:19Then, making jealous of his ardentiness, they leap.
30:23Well, Anatole can leap too!
30:26In the words of their so-called poets, Shakespeare,
30:30if you run us, shall we not revenge?
30:34Anatole shall have his revenge, mate!
30:38Right, now, I shall take Madeline to the garden
30:41and talk to her of hearts that yearn,
30:44intimating that there is one such actually on the premises.
30:47Then, after about a quarter of an hour or so,
30:49you'll turn up and take over,
30:51because by that time, her emotions will be so churned up
30:54that it'll be like leaping on a moving bus.
30:56The last time I leapt on the moving bus, Bertie,
30:58I hurt myself rather badly.
31:00Yes, it was more sort of in front of a bus.
31:02Yes, but Bertie, what shall I say?
31:04Oh, there are hundreds of things you can say.
31:06You can say how you've often thought
31:08that the stars are God's daisy chain.
31:12God's daisy chain?
31:13Hmm.
31:14Do you mind if I take some notes?
31:16A note away.
31:17God's daisy chain?
31:19And then you can go on to say that
31:21twilight always makes you feel sad.
31:23Why?
31:25Well, yes, well, that's precisely what you'll ask you,
31:27and then you'll have her.
31:28Your reply will be that it's because yours is such a lonely life.
31:33In fact, it might be a good idea to give her a description
31:35of a typical evening at home in Lincolnshire,
31:37intimating how you pace the meadows with a heavy tread.
31:40I generally sit indoors and listen to the wireless.
31:42No, you don't, Gussie.
31:43You pace the meadows with a heavy tread,
31:46wishing there was someone there to love you.
31:48After that, it's easy.
31:49You just grab her by the hands,
31:51tell her you've got something to say to her,
31:52and then say it.
31:53Better have a couple of quick ones first.
31:55What, drinks?
31:55Do you mean?
31:56But I don't drink.
31:58You don't drink?
32:00No.
32:01No, I didn't know that.
32:03Hmm, pity.
32:04It's generally acknowledged that a moderate skinful on these occasions
32:07is of the essence.
32:08Well, I suppose I could have some orange juice.
32:12Well, yes, if you think it would help.
32:14Hmm.
32:15It might be a good idea to heave a bit of a sigh at this point.
32:18Heave sigh.
32:19Then grab her by the hand and give her the works.
32:22Grab hand.
32:24Give.
32:25Works.
32:26And that's all there is to it.
32:28Thank you, Bertie.
32:34Well, would you, um, uh,
32:38would you like some coffee, Angela?
32:42No, thank you, Mr. Blossom.
32:50Hello, Angela.
32:52Hello, Toppy.
32:59Yes.
33:05Ah, Jeeves.
33:06Haven't seen Miss Bassett around anywhere, have you?
33:08Oh, she is, I believe, sir, in the sewing room.
33:12Sewing?
33:13If you'll allow me to, Mark.
33:15I trust your dinner plan was a success, sir?
33:18Howling, jeez, as you'll no doubt be surprised to hear.
33:22Toppy and Miss Travers are reunited in the drawing room.
33:24This is indeed good news, sir.
33:27The ill-informed servants will gossip had it that the cook, Anatole, had given his notice, sir.
33:34Yes, well, of course, I am not in a position to comment on chit-chat, Jeeves, but I suppose there
33:38is always a possibility.
33:39Anatole is foreign, Jeeves.
33:41Really, sir?
33:42And therefore, excitable.
33:44I shall bear it in mind, sir.
33:49The sewing room, sir.
33:51Thank you, Jeeves.
33:55Ah, man, that old thing.
33:56Careful, stroll.
33:58Jolly good.
34:00Back to dinner tonight.
34:02I couldn't eat any of it, of course.
34:05Far, far too upset.
34:09Look, I don't suppose you noticed, but I actually pushed away a whole plate of roast lamb.
34:15For God's sake!
34:19Oh, Bertie, what a beautiful night.
34:22Rather.
34:23All the little flowers have closed their eyes.
34:25Really?
34:26And all the little stars have woken up.
34:28Oh, good Lord.
34:30Oh, look!
34:31The little bunnies!
34:33How still they are!
34:36Yes, yes, they are marvellously still, aren't they?
34:39Yes.
34:40You know, Madeline, it's a funny old world.
34:43As a matter of fact, where are you going?
34:46I thought we were going for a walk.
34:48Oh, I, uh...
34:50I thought we had.
34:52Ha, ha, ha!
34:53And Bertie!
34:58Psst!
34:59Psst!
35:00Are you there?
35:01Cussie!
35:01Psst!
35:03Psst!
35:04Psst!
35:04Psst!
35:07Psst!
35:08Psst!
35:08Psst!
35:09What are you doing, Bertie?
35:11Um, well, I thought there was a snake all...
35:15No, maybe not.
35:16Psst!
35:17Psst!
35:19I think old Mr. Moon is ever so shy, Bertie.
35:23He keeps hiding behind the clouds.
35:26Yes, yes, he does, doesn't he?
35:28Yes, now, Madeline, talking of being shy, you know,
35:32there's an aching heart here at Brinkley Court.
35:34Oh, yes.
35:36Life is very sad, isn't it?
35:39Yes, well, it is for some people, yes.
35:41Now, take this aching heart, for instance.
35:44This heart that I'm talking about is aching like bilio.
35:47You mean, for love?
35:49The problem is, it can't quite bring itself up to scratch to tell you the position.
35:54Just as it's about to give you the SP, it catches sight of you sideways and words fail it.
35:59It's silly, of course, but there it is.
36:01Oh, don't say any more, Bertie.
36:04No, right.
36:06Well, I wasn't going to, actually, once I did, I think.
36:09I suspected this at Cairn,
36:11when you used to stand and stare at me without saying a word,
36:14but with whole volumes in your eyes.
36:17No!
36:18Yes!
36:20A girl always knows.
36:22And then you followed me down here,
36:25and there was that same dumb, yearning look in your eyes.
36:29And now you stammer out these halting words.
36:33Now, it doesn't come as a surprise.
36:37And I'm sorry, Bertie, but I'm afraid it's impossible.
36:43Oh, really?
36:45Oh, well, can't be helped.
36:47Uh, oh, dear.
36:50Life is such a muddle, isn't it?
36:52Oh, yes.
36:53Well, I'm, yes, I always say that.
36:55Life is such a muddle, I say.
36:57Wait a minute.
36:58What do you mean there's someone else?
37:01But he doesn't care for me.
37:03Well, at least he hasn't said anything.
37:05You see, I was staying with some friends in the country,
37:08and I'd gone for a walk with my dog,
37:10and the poor wee mite got a nasty thorn in its little foot,
37:15and I didn't know what to do.
37:17And suddenly, this handsome man came along.
37:21Wow!
37:22I beg your pardon?
37:24Uh, nothing.
37:25Nothing.
37:26No, I've just remembered there's a letter
37:28I must write tonight without fail.
37:31Good heavens!
37:32There's Gussie Finknottle.
37:35Where?
37:37Uh, over there.
37:44Ah, yes, there he is.
37:46Um, yes, well, I think I'd better be going in.
37:50Gussie will take care of you.
38:02Ah, Tuffy, I wanted to see you.
38:03Oh, yes.
38:04Well, I'm here, aren't I?
38:05Has Angela come clustering round yet?
38:07No, she has not.
38:09Oh, that's very odd.
38:11She must have noticed your lack of appetite.
38:14Lack of appetite?
38:15I'm as hollow as the Grand Canyon.
38:17Oh, be brave, Tuffy.
38:18Fix your thoughts on that cold steak and kidney pie in the larder.
38:20Oh, you would go and bring that up, wouldn't you,
38:23just as I've managed to stop thinking about it?
38:25Well...
38:25Why don't you just buzz off, Worcester?
38:31Right.
38:37Hello, Aunt Dahlia.
38:40How dare you show your face in here?
38:43Oh, Aunt Dahlia, if I may say something, you seem somewhat pipped.
38:47Pipped?
38:48Oh, but stand fast, Aunt Dahlia, because pretty soon Uncle Tom will be along here full of sympathy and anxious
38:53inquiry.
38:53Do you know where my husband is?
38:56Well, he was here at dinner.
38:58I know he was here at dinner, you nincompoop.
39:02He is now in his study, his face buried in his hands, groaning about civilization.
39:10Any chance that I had of getting the money off him is now gone.
39:14Eh?
39:14Why?
39:14Because Anatole has given notice.
39:17What?
39:19Anatole has given notice as a result of one of your driveling schemes.
39:26Oh, good heavens.
39:27It's no good saying good heavens.
39:30Well, yes, now you're upset, and that's understandable.
39:34Certainly, certainly this is a nasty jar for one and all.
39:37The only nasty jar there is, is the one I'm going to put your remains in.
39:42Now, now, Aunt Dahlia, don't do anything hasty, because, er, I can fix everything.
39:47Don't you dare try one of your lunatic schemes.
39:54Ah!
39:58Oh!
40:10Something missed, Jeeps?
40:11Mr. Fink-Nottle is feeling unwell, so...
40:17Everybody's been very kind.
40:22No complaints to make.
40:24No complaints at all.
40:29I wish the world was a newt.
40:32But how could anything go wrong?
40:34All he had to do was propose.
40:36So one would be disposed to imagine, sir.
40:39However, upon finding himself alone with the young lady,
40:42he confesses to having lost his nerve.
40:44In such circumstances, gentlemen frequently talk at random, sir,
40:48saying the first thing that chances to enter their head.
40:50This, in Mr. Fink-Nottle's case,
40:52would seem to have been the newt,
40:54its treatment in sickness and in health.
40:57Bad, Jeeps.
40:59Yes, sir.
41:00And how long did he go on talking about newts?
41:02According to Mr. Fink-Nottle,
41:03he supplied Miss Bassett with very full and complete information, sir.
41:07Very bad, Jeeps.
41:09Indeed, sir.
41:12He was just observing that newts differ from salamanders
41:16in the shape of the tail
41:17and that a marked sexual dimorphism prevails in most species
41:22when the young lady rose and said she thought she would go back to the house.
41:26And then?
41:27She went, sir.
41:29Oh, difficult, Jeeps.
41:31Yes, sir.
41:32Yes, I shall have to try and burnish the brain a bit,
41:34see if I can't find a way out of this.
41:35I'm sure Mr. Fink-Nottle will be most grateful, sir.
41:41Will that be all, sir?
41:42Yes, thank you, Jeeps, yes.
41:47One moment, my fine chap, Mrs. Travers.
41:51I can take a few smooths with a rough, is true,
41:54but you do not play larks against me on my food.
41:57No, I do not remind all lunder in this house.
42:00No, no.
42:01I dissolve and do not stay planted.
42:03I am a blue letter of principle.
42:09I am a blue letter of principle.
42:33I am a blue letter of principle.
42:56Why are you going to lay it in place?
42:56I am going to lay it in place.
43:11THE END
43:31How's the English, animals for the food, huh?
43:35Cut some out of my life's English.
43:37I return to...
43:39No, no, no, no, I do not remember my lives.
43:50No, no, no, no, no.
44:38Oh, my God.
45:00Oh, my God.
45:39Oh, my God.
45:42Hey!
45:45Hey!
45:48Hey!
45:50Aw, he's gone mad!
45:54He's gone mad!
45:57Amatora's gone mad!
46:00Mr. Glossop, what are you doing?
46:03I should have told you, Mama.
46:05Mr. Glossop always likes to have three or four good meals during the night.
46:09It helps keep him going till breakfast.
46:13Anna Crazy, Mrs. Travis.
46:16You be nice, nice to Anatole.
46:18Now, you just drop those knives, Anatole.
46:24And what are you doing with that gun, Tom Travis?
46:28Nothing, my dear.
46:42This is the end.
46:45Anatole, he is tabularized.
46:53This is all your fault, Worcester.
46:58Me?
47:01What have I done?
47:04Jeeves.
47:07Pack Mr. Worcester's bags.
47:10You're done.
47:14You're done.
47:17You're done.
47:23You're done.
47:28You're done.
47:37Let's go.
47:37Let's go.
47:40Welcome to the videos.
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